[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.56,0:00:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Can you, like, run down to the kitchen in your
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.84,0:00:05.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,underpants in the middle of the night if you're
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.58,0:00:08.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hungry?" - "I mean, I could... but I don't." - "You
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.50,0:00:11.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't." - "No." - "Is there someone in the kitchen at
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.64,0:00:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all times, like if you wanted a sandwich in the night,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.17,0:00:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would you have to wake someone up?" - "Yeah,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.72,0:00:19.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I wouldn't wake somebody up to have a
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.16,0:00:20.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sandwich." - "You're allowed to go into the
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.59,0:00:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,refridgerator on your own?" - "I am! I am, there's
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.10,0:00:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a refridgerator and there's silverware..." - "When
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.38,0:00:29.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was the last time you actually cooked?" - "Um,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.34,0:00:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now, it's been a while since I cooked." - "It has
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.52,0:00:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,been a while." - "It has been a while, I won't lie
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.74,0:00:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about that." - "Do you ever drive?" - "I cannot drive.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.20,0:00:40.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean I... I'm able to drive, actually I -" - "Is this
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.31,0:00:41.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you don't have a birth certificate?" -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.04,0:00:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Exactly. I um... In Kenia we drive on the other
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.83,0:00:56.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,side. Actually the last time I drove, a former staffer
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.55,0:01:00.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,came by and he comes through the saddle-on and
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.23,0:01:04.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's got one of these new electric cars, at the time
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.43,0:01:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they were." - "Yeah." - "And he's very excited about
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.45,0:01:13.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it so I said 'Well, let's try it out!'. So I just grab his
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.03,0:01:15.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,keys and we just go out, it's parked right in front
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.93,0:01:20.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I just start circling the saddle-on and the secret
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.11,0:01:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,service, they're 'No matter what you do, do not let
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.28,0:01:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him out.' and they were pretty upset. So..." - "They
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.42,0:01:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,call you renegade, right?" - "Yeah." - "Because
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.41,0:01:34.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're touring around in an electric car topping
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.90,0:01:40.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,speeds of 30 m/h." - "I think we had 35." - "If you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.78,0:01:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to go to the dentist's, do you go to the
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.02,0:01:44.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dentist's or..." - "No, the dentist comes to me." -
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.81,0:01:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Dentist comes to you. Do you have the chair and
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.01,0:01:48.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the tools...?" - "You have the whole chair,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.88,0:01:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,everything is all there set up." - "Everything is
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.23,0:01:53.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there?!" - "Yeah, in the basement. I didn't know! I
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.53,0:01:56.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showed up, I said 'You know, I think I've got a cap
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.27,0:01:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's loose' and 'Sir, here we are!' " - "Do you reset
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.44,0:02:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the clocks with daylight saving time?" - "No!" - "It
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.55,0:02:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,happens." - "Somebody else does that for me." -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.66,0:02:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Somebody does that for you. Will you get rid of
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.04,0:02:13.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,daylight saving time? Or at least... get rid of the
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.25,0:02:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,part where we have to wake up earlier, you can
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.72,0:02:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leave the other one!" - "Well, you see, there's a
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.33,0:02:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,California thing 'cause you are always getting sun.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.56,0:02:25.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the east coast, you don't mind losing that hour
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.21,0:02:26.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's a signal that spring is
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.94,0:02:28.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coming." - "We only care about ourselves." -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.75,0:02:33.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah." - "I am Jimmy Kimmel. Are you sad that the
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.06,0:02:35.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,video is over? Well, subscribe to our YouTube
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.39,0:02:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,channel and you will never be sad again, ever."