[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:01.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-So when you’re at \Nhome,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.56,0:00:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can you run down\N
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.84,0:00:05.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the kitchen\Nin your underpants
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.50,0:00:11.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the middle of the night\Nif you’re hungry?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.64,0:00:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I mean,\NI could. I don’t.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.17,0:00:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You don’t?\N-No
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.72,0:00:19.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Is there someone\N
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.16,0:00:20.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the kitchen at all times,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.59,0:00:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like if you wanted\Na sandwich in the night,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.10,0:00:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would you have to\Nwake someone up?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.38,0:00:29.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah, I wouldn’t\Nwake someone up
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.34,0:00:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have a sandwich.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.52,0:00:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You’re allowed to go\Nin the refrigerator
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.74,0:00:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on your own?\N-I am! I am!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.20,0:00:40.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There’s a refrigerator\Nthere’s silverware.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.31,0:00:41.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-When was the last time
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.04,0:00:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you actually cooked?\N-Now, it’s been a while
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.83,0:00:56.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since I cooked.\NIt has been a while,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.55,0:01:00.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I won’t lie about that.\N-Do you ever drive?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.23,0:01:04.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I cannot drive.\NI mean,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.43,0:01:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m able to drive.\N-Is that because
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.45,0:01:13.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don’t have\Nyour birth certificate?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.03,0:01:15.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah, exactly!\NIn Kenya,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.93,0:01:20.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we drive\Non the other side of the road.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.11,0:01:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually,\Nthe last time I drove,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.28,0:01:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a former staffer came by\Nand then he comes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.42,0:01:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the South Lawn,\Nand he’s got
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.41,0:01:34.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of these new electric cars…\NAt the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.90,0:01:40.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they were new.\NAnd he was very excited about it,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.78,0:01:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said,\N“Well, let’s try it out.”
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.02,0:01:44.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I just grabbed
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.81,0:01:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his keys and we just go out,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.01,0:01:48.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it’s parked right in front.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.88,0:01:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I start circling
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.23,0:01:53.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the South Lawn and the Secret Service
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.53,0:01:56.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“No matter what you do,\Ndo not let him out”.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.27,0:01:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they were pretty upset, so…\N
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.44,0:02:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-They call you Renegade, right?\N-Yeah, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.55,0:02:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Because you’re touring around\N
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.66,0:02:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in an electric car.\NTopping speeds
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.04,0:02:13.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of 30 miles an hour.\N-Yeah, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.25,0:02:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think, we have 35, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.72,0:02:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-If you have to go to the dentist,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.33,0:02:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you go to the dentist or does the…
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.56,0:02:25.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-No, the dentist comes to me.\N-Dentist comes to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.21,0:02:26.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have the chair,\Nthe tools
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.94,0:02:28.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you spit on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I’ve got the chair,\Neverything is all there, set up.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Everything is there?\N-Yeah, in the basement.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn’t know.\NI showed up, I said,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“You know, \NI think I’ve got a cap that’s loose”.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“Sir, here we are”, he said.\N-Do you reset the clocks
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Daylight saving time?\N-No
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-What happens?\N-Somebody else does that for me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Somebody does that for you.\NWill you get rid of daylight saving time?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or at least, get rid of the part\Nwhere we have to wake up earlier.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can leave the other one.\N-Well see, this is a California thing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,‘cause you guys are always getting sun.\N-Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-In the East coast, \Nyou don’t mind loosing that hour,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because,\Nthat’s the signal that spring is here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-We only care about ourselves.\N-Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Hi, I’m Jimmy Kimmel. \NAre you sad that the video is over?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, subscribe to our video channel\Nand you will never be sad again. Ever!