1
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[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS]

2
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I think I like reggae because it's like listening
to a party.

3
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It's like almost company, in a sense.

4
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[Jamian Juliano-Villani, artist]

5
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It's music that's actually made from necessity.

6
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They built their own soundsystems,

7
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their own speakers,

8
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their own recording devices,

9
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and, like, they just used the shit that they
had.

10
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["New York Close Up"]

11
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Well, that's kind of what I do, too.

12
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Like, I make my paintings out of necessity

13
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and like using the things around me to communicate
what I need to,

14
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because I'm really bad at articulating how
I feel,

15
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vocally.

16
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The paintings do that for me.

17
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["Jamian Juliano-Villani's Painting Compulsion"]

18
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[CLICKING SOUNDS FROM CAMERA PHONE SHUTTER]

19
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I just like this book because

20
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it's like really basic ways to compare things.

21
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When I look at something, I just take notes
of ideas.

22
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Green. Suede. Fleece.

23
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Tower of Babel.

24
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Microscopic life.

25
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Hummingbird. Hand and egg. Daddy long legs.

26
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Daddy super long legs.

27
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And you know that daddy long legs are the
most poisonous spider in the world?

28
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Except that they don't have teeth.

29
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So if they had teeth, you would be dead.

30
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For the one I'm doing now with the feet,

31
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those are Bruce Nauman feet.

32
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I want the feet to somehow look scared,

33
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if I could figure that out.

34
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So maybe a daddy long legs would do it.

35
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Ever since I was little, I just kind of have
this registry of facts in my brain.

36
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In high school, I used to keep scrap books
of all the things that I liked.

37
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I would just cut them out and put them in
there and save them.

38
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And I think that these are the kinds of things
that made me feel comfortable.

39
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And it seemed so natural, when I started painting,

40
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to kind of do the same thing.

41
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When I'm working, I have probably, like, thirty
images that,

42
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in a month or two months, I'll keep on coming back to.

43
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I really will try to make those work with
what I'm doing.

44
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But, they never look like they're supposed
to be together.

45
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That's when shit gets good.

46
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That's when the painting can change from "an
image-based narrative" into something else.

47
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So, it could get dark or surreal

48
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or funny or fucked up--

49
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it's like I'm trying to deliver a baby, you
know?

50
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And the baby is, like, really...

51
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has like eight arms and is really fucked up

52
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and, like, I don't know how to deliver a baby,
you know?

53
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I'm trying to figure out what kind of person
this is going to be.

54
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Because I don't think it should be as simple
as a human face,

55
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and I also don't know if it should just be
an animal, either.

56
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But, right now, I'm kind of just scrolling
through a bunch of images.

57
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I'm just going to plop around and see what
feels right.

58
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No.

59
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Too dumb.

60
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So this is Shen Koo. I really like his work.

61
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He's like this, kind of, crazy apocalyptic
illustrator.

62
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The reason why I use cartoons a lot of the
times

63
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is because I like that they're a kind of populist
way of communicating.

64
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Because painting is not populist at all, you
know?

65
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--I kind of like that idea.

66
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I respond to things immediately

67
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in like an emotional, guttural way,

68
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and that's how decisions are formed.

69
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It's like when something pisses you off.

70
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Something stresses you out.

71
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Or, you like the color of something.

72
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You're like, "I like that sweater,"

73
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"Fuck it, I want that sweater."

74
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You know? It's like...

75
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[SNAPS FINGERS] Like that.

76
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[SOUND OF A CAR SCREECHING TO A HALT AND THEN CRASHING]

77
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I feel much better about doing the paintings
I do by using other references

78
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so it's not so insular--

79
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it's not so personal.

80
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They're also helping me figure out

81
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the things that I can't communicate yet to
myself.

82
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The one painting I did with the wavy fox in
that cage,

83
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that's fucking me, you know!?

84
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That's how I felt.

85
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I didn't realize it then.

86
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I think they're all extensions of me

87
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or self-portraits in some way--

88
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or at least an attitude that I have.

89
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Those are things you can't necessarily put
into words.

90
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And, like, having a really rough childhood...

91
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And, I also have a twin,

92
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so it was really hard for me to talk to other
people.

93
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I would just talk to my twin, and that would
be it, you know?

94
00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:44,570
And, like, I didn't need any friends.

95
00:04:44,570 --> 00:04:46,710
And I didn't really have any friends growing
up, you know?

96
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Like, maybe two?

97
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One of them was my sibling.

98
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Uh, doesn't really count.

99
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I think because of that, I have a hard time
communicating with people,

100
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or, like, connecting with people.

101
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Having to, like, basically just rely on myself.

102
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It's like, if I don't take care of myself,
no one else will.

103
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I have this obsessive relationship with my
work and the way I work

104
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because it's kind of like my friend.

105
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It's like the thing that validates me--makes
me feel good.

106
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I care about it and they care about me.

107
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It's why I put the things that I collect--and
really, really love--

108
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in my paintings, you know?

109
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Like, they're almost company, in a sense.