0:00:09.890,0:00:14.914 From the moment I was born,[br]life has been full of surprises. 0:00:16.710,0:00:20.194 "Mazel tov, your baby is a redhead!" 0:00:20.214,0:00:23.240 the doctor smiled at my shocked mom. 0:00:23.916,0:00:26.696 No one in my family expected a ginger. 0:00:26.935,0:00:31.038 [br]My dad made his living [br]inventing children's games, 0:00:31.052,0:00:35.629 and his creativity instilled [br]the magical power of surprise in me. 0:00:36.029,0:00:39.799 One day, my mom came home [br]from the grocery store with eggs. 0:00:39.821,0:00:44.959 Suddenly, she dropped them,[br]and they splattered all over the floor. 0:00:45.358,0:00:51.033 The next day, my dad came home[br]carrying five chickens. 0:00:52.338,0:00:56.707 "Surprise! I want us to have [br]five fresh eggs every morning." 0:00:57.572,0:01:00.622 Honestly, I think the chickens [br]were more surprised than we were, 0:01:00.642,0:01:02.708 having to live in our small apartment. 0:01:02.738,0:01:04.329 (Laughter) 0:01:04.402,0:01:08.277 Fast forward 30 years later, [br]in my mid-thirties, 0:01:08.294,0:01:11.804 my dad attended a leadership[br]seminar I was delivering. 0:01:11.822,0:01:13.532 I gave him a good price too. 0:01:13.557,0:01:14.827 (Laughter) 0:01:14.832,0:01:16.902 Just before the break, [br]I tell the audience: 0:01:16.916,0:01:23.346 "Feel free to stick a post-it note [br]with your questions on the whiteboard." 0:01:23.690,0:01:29.366 After the break, I walk back[br]on stage and discover a note... 0:01:30.462,0:01:32.198 from my dad. 0:01:32.941,0:01:35.738 "Gili, when are you getting married? 0:01:35.763,0:01:37.468 (Laughter) 0:01:38.608,0:01:43.838 I loved his surprises so much, 0:01:43.863,0:01:47.433 but I couldn't even imagine 0:01:47.457,0:01:50.374 how much they would impact my life. 0:01:51.176,0:01:52.976 Now, let's have some fun. 0:01:53.135,0:01:55.914 Everyone, please reach[br]for the envelopes. 0:01:55.964,0:01:57.725 Open it. 0:01:58.372,0:01:59.765 Yes! 0:01:59.805,0:02:04.760 And hold what's inside up high[br]so we can all see it. 0:02:05.003,0:02:07.577 Now, look around, look around. 0:02:07.629,0:02:09.935 Do you see those big smiles? 0:02:10.981,0:02:15.251 Well, why are you so happy? [br]It's only a dollar bill. 0:02:15.892,0:02:17.673 Yes, you can keep it. 0:02:17.703,0:02:19.274 (Laughter) 0:02:21.136,0:02:25.714 Now we all know that $1 [br]can't even buy you a cup of coffee. 0:02:26.539,0:02:30.190 So, why are we so happy? 0:02:30.486,0:02:33.002 Because of the element of surprise. 0:02:33.341,0:02:35.509 Research shows, 0:02:36.516,0:02:42.735 that the pleasure center in our brain [br]is more active during moments of surprise, 0:02:42.811,0:02:47.205 and surprises intensify emotions[br]by up to 400%. 0:02:47.405,0:02:49.392 Four hundred percent! 0:02:49.640,0:02:53.780 When the brain identifies a surprise, [br]it releases dopamine. 0:02:53.807,0:02:55.578 We remember better. 0:02:55.764,0:02:57.459 So, 0:02:57.476,0:02:59.466 today, 0:02:59.484,0:03:02.863 I want to talk about[br]the gift of surprise, 0:03:02.897,0:03:05.548 how it impacts our happiness, 0:03:05.578,0:03:08.436 improves our connections, 0:03:08.441,0:03:13.570 and even helps us deliver [br]powerful messages. 0:03:13.998,0:03:18.085 Now, we all know that some surprises [br]are better than others, right? 0:03:18.466,0:03:21.909 “Surprise! We're going to Disney World” 0:03:21.922,0:03:25.192 versus "Surprise, dad, [br]I broke my phone again." (Laughter) 0:03:25.320,0:03:29.607 As humans, we prefer[br]control and stability 0:03:29.632,0:03:32.952 over surprise and change, 0:03:33.027,0:03:36.252 but even though we want control, 0:03:36.327,0:03:39.504 positive surprises still benefit us, 0:03:39.570,0:03:46.030 and we can use the art[br]of surprise to impact others. 0:03:46.673,0:03:50.999 Have you ever heard of a unique proposal? 0:03:52.386,0:03:54.318 In a hot air balloon, 0:03:54.338,0:03:58.121 on a mountain, or underwater, 0:03:58.148,0:04:02.053 I proposed with a ring 0:04:02.073,0:04:05.488 hidden inside[br]a warm... chocolate cake! 0:04:05.508,0:04:07.038 (Laughter) 0:04:07.188,0:04:09.083 And to this day, 0:04:09.102,0:04:13.388 my wife dreads cakes fearing [br]another lifelong commitment. 0:04:13.408,0:04:14.957 (Laughter) 0:04:14.977,0:04:18.036 See, my dad's note[br]did influence me after all. 0:04:18.103,0:04:23.742 But the problem is that many[br]relationships lack an element of surprise. 0:04:24.003,0:04:28.609 Life tends to become [br]a predictable gray routine. 0:04:29.328,0:04:32.376 So the magic is lost 0:04:32.403,0:04:36.568 in the mundane daily tasks of laundry, 0:04:36.593,0:04:40.947 driving the kids, or watching [br]"Dancing with the Stars." 0:04:41.976,0:04:43.973 However, research shows 0:04:43.983,0:04:49.075 that surprising your partner[br]with new activities together 0:04:49.096,0:04:52.362 reignites the relationship's spark, 0:04:52.379,0:04:55.276 and increases the level of satisfaction. 0:04:55.695,0:04:58.475 When was the last time[br]you surprised your loved ones? 0:04:58.658,0:05:02.585 I see some of you are smiling [br]at each other. That's lovely. 0:05:03.030,0:05:04.441 (Audience) Seven years ago! 0:05:04.461,0:05:06.985 Seven years ago? Not good enough! 0:05:07.011,0:05:08.500 (Laughter) 0:05:08.827,0:05:12.926 You see, it's simple:[br]when you surprise someone, 0:05:12.952,0:05:16.351 when you surprise people, [br]you show you care about them, 0:05:16.365,0:05:18.298 and surprises are fun. 0:05:18.612,0:05:22.414 Last year, I saw my wife's car [br]parked at a shopping center. 0:05:22.430,0:05:24.074 So to surprise her, 0:05:24.080,0:05:27.562 I left her a very sweet note [br]on the windshield. 0:05:27.581,0:05:30.079 Only I didn't tell her it was from me... 0:05:30.099,0:05:31.408 (Laughter) 0:05:32.016,0:05:37.351 At first, she was excited, thrilled. 0:05:38.858,0:05:42.231 She thought she had a secret admirer. 0:05:42.261,0:05:43.928 (Laughter) 0:05:43.949,0:05:46.414 Then she found out it was me. 0:05:46.440,0:05:50.170 So a few weeks later,[br]she left me a surprise, 0:05:50.188,0:05:52.728 a love note attached [br]to a parking ticket 0:05:52.748,0:05:54.485 (Laughter) 0:05:54.499,0:05:57.389 she had received... so sweet! 0:05:58.297,0:06:03.447 Now a surprise doesn't have[br]to be expensive or sophisticated. 0:06:03.472,0:06:05.236 It can be simple. 0:06:06.202,0:06:10.062 Even small surprises make a big impact. 0:06:10.206,0:06:15.381 And you can surprise your partners [br]with small gestures 0:06:15.391,0:06:19.402 like painting a heart on a mirror, [br]or hiding a love note in their socks, 0:06:19.424,0:06:21.964 or buying the book [br]they mentioned the other day. 0:06:21.985,0:06:24.085 And the exciting thing about surprises 0:06:24.107,0:06:27.890 is that whenever you surprise[br]someone, it also rewards you. 0:06:27.918,0:06:31.673 Surprises reward everyone! 0:06:32.356,0:06:36.066 And speaking about loved ones, [br]we have three daughters, 0:06:36.074,0:06:37.893 all girls... 0:06:37.909,0:06:39.399 (Laugther) 0:06:39.416,0:06:42.987 Surprising them? Not easy at all. 0:06:43.062,0:06:47.315 I'm not even allowed to tag them[br]on social media without their permission. 0:06:47.817,0:06:52.970 Yet, with time, they realized [br]that some of our best moments 0:06:52.995,0:06:56.059 are from surprising moments, 0:06:56.080,0:06:59.760 like when our eldest daughter 0:06:59.780,0:07:05.544 flew home to San Diego CA[br]from Washington DC 0:07:05.576,0:07:08.732 and jumped out of a box, 0:07:08.752,0:07:10.798 (Laughter) 0:07:10.822,0:07:16.523 or when our daughters expected [br]a seven-hour layover in New York, 0:07:17.428,0:07:20.182 but instead, we stayed there for a week. 0:07:20.831,0:07:24.821 Two years ago, [br]after I published my recent book, 0:07:24.854,0:07:26.992 my daughters wanted to surprise me, 0:07:27.002,0:07:30.570 so they bought me a star, 0:07:30.588,0:07:32.760 a real star. 0:07:34.148,0:07:37.985 And they named it [br]after my book "Wow." 0:07:38.911,0:07:41.886 Now, I guess I can't travel there, 0:07:41.916,0:07:45.151 but I will never forget [br]how it made me feel. 0:07:45.493,0:07:47.457 Now, besides family, 0:07:47.477,0:07:50.397 we can use the art of surprise 0:07:50.407,0:07:54.647 with friends, or at work with colleagues,[br]customers, employees, 0:07:54.671,0:07:59.496 but now, let's see how we can use it 0:07:59.516,0:08:01.849 to deliver compelling messages. 0:08:02.382,0:08:04.681 For more than 30 years, 0:08:04.702,0:08:07.946 I've delivered hundreds of talks [br]and workshops around the world 0:08:07.967,0:08:11.250 on many topics like influence, [br]communication skills, 0:08:11.273,0:08:14.773 and the mindset for success, 0:08:14.797,0:08:18.175 and ever since[br]I started speaking on stage, 0:08:19.527,0:08:24.931 I've used unpredictable moments[br]to engage my audience. 0:08:25.715,0:08:29.694 Now why is it important [br]to surprise an audience? 0:08:29.948,0:08:32.588 Daniel Gilbert and[br]Matt Killingsworth discovered 0:08:32.608,0:08:37.253 that we wander off in our thoughts[br]and fail to be present 0:08:37.294,0:08:39.927 almost half the time, 0:08:39.933,0:08:42.096 47%. 0:08:43.334,0:08:47.004 That means that since I started talking [br]about nine minutes ago, 0:08:47.019,0:08:50.099 some of you were present for only [br]four minutes and nine seconds. 0:08:50.119,0:08:51.395 (Laughter) 0:08:51.405,0:08:56.879 That's exactly why it's a challenge [br]to deliver messages effectively 0:08:56.895,0:09:02.213 because if you are not paying attention[br]now, you will not remember anything. 0:09:02.674,0:09:08.727 However, the moment[br]you surprise your audience, 0:09:08.743,0:09:11.205 you get their attention back. 0:09:23.883,0:09:25.539 (Laughter) 0:09:28.355,0:09:30.075 (Laughter) 0:09:40.382,0:09:43.257 (Falling of a ping-pong ball[br]on the scene) Thank you. 0:09:45.198,0:09:46.505 (Laughter) 0:09:46.535,0:09:47.846 (Audience) Yes! 0:09:49.404,0:09:52.742 I call these unexpected[br]moments, "Wow moments". 0:09:53.650,0:09:55.222 (Audience) WOW! 0:09:55.242,0:09:57.502 Yes! (Applause) 0:09:58.952,0:10:03.856 Sometimes people raise their eyebrows,[br]drop their jaws, and even say... 0:10:03.875,0:10:05.425 (Audience) Wow! 0:10:05.445,0:10:09.835 Yes, "wow," and the great thing[br]about wow is that anyone can wow. 0:10:10.020,0:10:13.149 A friend of mine, Ayala Biran, [br]is a safety expert. 0:10:13.169,0:10:16.389 She was invited to speak [br]to construction workers 0:10:16.419,0:10:20.213 about protecting their heads [br]with safety helmets. 0:10:20.243,0:10:22.813 So picture this: she goes on stage, 0:10:24.592,0:10:29.044 and suddenly, she picks up a watermelon 0:10:29.062,0:10:31.212 and drops it on the stage. 0:10:31.782,0:10:35.795 Bam! The watermelon splashes everywhere. 0:10:35.845,0:10:37.855 Everyone is shocked. 0:10:39.047,0:10:45.394 Can you imagine the chunks[br]of watermelon on the stage? 0:10:47.208,0:10:49.412 Then she says, "What happens[br]to the watermelon 0:10:49.432,0:10:54.338 can happen to anyone without a helmet." 0:10:55.317,0:10:56.829 Wow! 0:10:56.847,0:11:02.047 That's exactly how a message becomes[br]not only memorable but also unforgettable. 0:11:02.776,0:11:06.571 Now there are many creative ways [br]to wow an audience, 0:11:06.594,0:11:10.647 and in my book, I've collected [br]more than a hundred ideas. 0:11:11.391,0:11:15.276 When designing a wow moment, [br]you want to ask yourself one question: 0:11:15.313,0:11:20.116 what emotion do I wish to evoke [br]to deliver my message? 0:11:20.447,0:11:24.972 In most cases, we want[br]to evoke positive emotions 0:11:25.065,0:11:26.967 like joy, 0:11:27.037,0:11:28.755 trust, 0:11:28.817,0:11:30.107 and surprise, 0:11:30.171,0:11:33.525 but sometimes we can[br]evoke negative emotions 0:11:33.681,0:11:35.781 like sadness, 0:11:35.931,0:11:37.461 or fear. 0:11:38.194,0:11:41.550 Why is it important to trigger emotions? 0:11:43.303,0:11:48.985 Well, when an emotion[br]is attached to a message, 0:11:49.003,0:11:50.961 people remember it better. 0:11:51.032,0:11:55.827 Sometimes people[br]may forget what you say, 0:11:55.852,0:12:00.022 but they never forget [br]how you make them feel. 0:12:00.531,0:12:04.202 So if surprises make such a big impact, 0:12:04.221,0:12:06.831 why don't we use them more often? 0:12:07.138,0:12:12.548 As part of my research, [br]I posted that question on social media, 0:12:12.573,0:12:17.047 "Why don't you surprise more often?"[br]and hundreds of people replied. 0:12:17.638,0:12:20.573 Most of them said, "What if I fail?" 0:12:20.684,0:12:22.894 "What if they don't like my surprise?" 0:12:22.987,0:12:25.058 "I'm an introvert," 0:12:25.166,0:12:27.382 "I'm not good at surprising," 0:12:27.456,0:12:30.936 and the best one,[br]"I'm an accountant. We don't do wow." 0:12:30.956,0:12:32.725 (Laughter) 0:12:34.515,0:12:39.064 However, there are lots of reasons [br]why you should surprise more. 0:12:39.301,0:12:41.778 First, "Satisfaction." 0:12:42.453,0:12:44.959 When we surprise, 0:12:44.979,0:12:49.989 we increase the level[br]of satisfaction in our relationships. 0:12:51.229,0:12:55.811 When we surprise, [br]we create unforgettable moments. 0:12:55.859,0:12:57.829 We activate the dopamine, 0:12:57.836,0:13:01.275 and we create magical moments [br]for the people we care about. 0:13:01.546,0:13:06.451 When we surprise,[br]we renew the spark in our life. 0:13:06.473,0:13:11.452 We become more present [br]as well as the people that we surprise. 0:13:11.668,0:13:17.138 Surprises reward everyone. 0:13:17.218,0:13:21.834 And surprises[br]intensify emotions by up to 400%. 0:13:22.832,0:13:25.906 And "Simplicity," it's simple to do it. 0:13:25.932,0:13:29.162 Even small surprises make a big impact. 0:13:29.324,0:13:31.600 And last but not least, 0:13:32.649,0:13:33.944 "Enjoyment." 0:13:33.997,0:13:39.468 When we surprise, we activate [br]the pleasure center in our brain, 0:13:39.500,0:13:42.839 so we impact our happiness. 0:13:43.220,0:13:50.084 That's why I'm so passionate[br]about spreading the gift of surprise. 0:13:50.541,0:13:55.743 After my dad passed away[br]seven months ago at the age of 94, 0:13:56.630,0:14:03.350 I realized that one[br]of his secrets to a great life 0:14:03.381,0:14:05.971 was his habit of surprising, 0:14:05.993,0:14:11.638 and I truly believe it helped him[br]think with flexibility, humor, and joy, 0:14:12.513,0:14:15.591 and kept him young forever. 0:14:17.074,0:14:22.904 So now, I invite you all[br]to embrace surprise. 0:14:23.320,0:14:29.404 Take a moment to reflect on how you can[br]apply the gift of surprise in your life. 0:14:31.439,0:14:34.588 You know, at the beginning of every year, 0:14:34.608,0:14:38.387 I pick one word as my inspiration [br]for the whole year, 0:14:38.417,0:14:43.263 and every morning, I focus on that word. 0:14:45.563,0:14:49.873 This year, I'm choosing [br]the word "surprise," 0:14:50.167,0:14:53.837 and I invite you all to join me 0:14:53.872,0:14:56.257 and let "surprise" be your word too 0:14:56.277,0:15:01.374 so together, we can create[br]a year full of surprises. 0:15:03.450,0:15:05.155 It's wow or never. 0:15:05.528,0:15:06.971 Thank you. 0:15:07.001,0:15:08.941 (Applause)