WEBVTT 00:00:01.480 --> 00:00:05.460 [New York Close Up] 00:00:05.460 --> 00:00:08.760 [Ruby Sky Stiler, Artist] 00:00:09.580 --> 00:00:11.300 [Daniel Gordon, Artist] 00:00:11.300 --> 00:00:13.400 [GORDON] We started grad school at the same time. 00:00:13.410 --> 00:00:16.200 Ruby was in sculpture, and I was in photo-- 00:00:16.200 --> 00:00:18.920 and had a big crush on her. 00:00:20.500 --> 00:00:23.760 [STILER] And then, it took us a little while, 00:00:23.770 --> 00:00:26.060 because we were both really shy. 00:00:26.060 --> 00:00:28.640 [GORDON] But from the time that we got together, 00:00:28.650 --> 00:00:30.079 we've just been together. 00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:32.870 [STILER] This makes Danny's glue gun look kind of lame, right? 00:00:32.870 --> 00:00:34.730 [GORDON] I don't know, I mean I... 00:00:34.730 --> 00:00:35.890 Works for me. 00:00:36.900 --> 00:00:38.640 [Danny and Ruby are married.] 00:00:39.300 --> 00:00:42.760 [GORDON] I mean, art is so much of our life, 00:00:42.760 --> 00:00:45.630 so, you know, art is the personal. 00:00:46.560 --> 00:00:49.420 I kind of did some new things. 00:00:49.420 --> 00:00:51.930 Like this vase was... 00:00:51.930 --> 00:00:54.640 is just leaning slightly to the right-- 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:56.400 which I don't mind, 00:00:56.400 --> 00:00:58.080 but I just started to worry that 00:00:58.080 --> 00:01:01.340 it was something that would annoy somebody else. 00:01:01.340 --> 00:01:03.500 So, I'm texting Ruby 00:01:03.500 --> 00:01:07.650 without letting her know exactly what I'm concerned with, 00:01:07.650 --> 00:01:10.220 So that, if she sees it, 00:01:10.220 --> 00:01:13.280 and she says, "I don't like that," 00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:15.869 I would probably remake the picture. 00:01:15.869 --> 00:01:17.780 [STILER] That's one thing that Danny... 00:01:17.780 --> 00:01:19.789 I think Danny and I do really well together, 00:01:19.789 --> 00:01:25.289 is give each other really no-frills feedback. [LAUGHS] 00:01:25.540 --> 00:01:27.000 [GORDON] Oh shit. 00:01:32.820 --> 00:01:33.580 Hmm. 00:01:35.240 --> 00:01:38.899 [STILER] So, here's the picture that I was going to show you. 00:01:38.899 --> 00:01:40.429 Can you see that? 00:01:40.429 --> 00:01:42.149 Look at all those babies. 00:01:42.149 --> 00:01:44.539 Oh, here you can see. 00:01:44.539 --> 00:01:45.679 See that baby? 00:01:45.679 --> 00:01:46.429 That's mine. 00:01:46.429 --> 00:01:48.590 And that's Danny. 00:01:48.590 --> 00:01:50.979 He's cute, right? 00:01:50.979 --> 00:01:53.219 But it's not just looks with him-- 00:01:53.219 --> 00:01:54.479 it's the whole package. 00:01:55.320 --> 00:01:56.600 [LAUGHS] 00:02:04.060 --> 00:02:10.140 ["Daniel Gordon and Ruby Sky Stiler Take Baby Steps"] 00:02:11.940 --> 00:02:15.580 [Gus Stiler Gordon, Baby] 00:02:15.600 --> 00:02:17.880 [GORDON] Before Gus was born... 00:02:17.890 --> 00:02:19.960 [STILER] Typical studio day... 00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:23.060 We would wake up at 9, then... 00:02:23.060 --> 00:02:24.760 [GORDON] Well, unless I went surfing. 00:02:24.760 --> 00:02:26.820 And then studio, 00:02:26.820 --> 00:02:29.080 which could be anywhere from 2 to, 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:31.340 you know, 8 hours. 00:02:31.340 --> 00:02:33.030 Or 10 hours. 00:02:33.030 --> 00:02:35.290 [STILER] We do a lot of stuff at night, too. 00:02:35.290 --> 00:02:37.560 [GORDON] And then, yeah, 00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:40.560 drinks with friends, or dinner. 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:42.210 [STILER] Make love for hours. 00:02:42.210 --> 00:02:43.950 [GORDON, LAUGHING] Make love for hours. 00:02:43.950 --> 00:02:44.820 [GUS LAUGHS] 00:02:44.820 --> 00:02:46.660 [GORDON] Yeah, that is funny! 00:02:47.140 --> 00:02:48.780 And, up we go! 00:02:48.790 --> 00:02:50.260 [KISSING SOUNDS] 00:02:52.980 --> 00:02:54.140 [STILER] We're ambitious, 00:02:54.140 --> 00:02:56.340 and we want to accomplish things. 00:02:56.350 --> 00:02:59.000 And, for years, we've been like, 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:03.120 "Well, you know, we really don't know about having a kid," 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:06.440 "because neither one of us wants to give up anything." 00:03:06.440 --> 00:03:08.660 That was a big thing for us. 00:03:08.660 --> 00:03:10.340 And then, we realized, like, 00:03:10.340 --> 00:03:11.450 "Fuck this conversation." 00:03:11.450 --> 00:03:14.670 Like, this is like, not something we can control. 00:03:14.670 --> 00:03:16.890 [GORDON] Yeah, let's just... let's... 00:03:16.890 --> 00:03:17.830 Whatever. 00:03:18.250 --> 00:03:19.370 We'll see what happens. 00:03:19.370 --> 00:03:19.970 [STILER] Yeah. 00:03:19.970 --> 00:03:22.510 [Gowanus, Brooklyn] 00:03:31.620 --> 00:03:36.600 [STILER] I'm so completely obsessed with my work. 00:03:37.980 --> 00:03:40.460 There's this mythology that 00:03:40.470 --> 00:03:44.690 you have to sacrifice everything to be a good mom. 00:03:45.980 --> 00:03:49.140 At least that's the one that I inherited. 00:03:50.900 --> 00:03:52.620 You know, so I think that there was, like, 00:03:52.620 --> 00:03:54.620 a lot of extra guilt for me, 00:03:54.620 --> 00:03:57.880 that I was choosing to take myself out of... 00:03:57.880 --> 00:03:59.820 out of Gus's daily life. 00:03:59.820 --> 00:04:01.900 And that was my decision. 00:04:01.900 --> 00:04:06.080 And then also, guilt that I really wanted to go back to my studio. 00:04:11.820 --> 00:04:13.060 [STILER] Hi, guys! 00:04:15.940 --> 00:04:17.660 [GORDON] You're going to stain all of them? 00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:20.940 [STILER] Yeah, but there is something about the staining 00:04:20.940 --> 00:04:21.859 that brings out... 00:04:21.859 --> 00:04:23.979 I mean, this sounds really quaint when I say it, 00:04:23.980 --> 00:04:26.040 but it brings out, like, the... 00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:26.740 [GUS COUGHS] 00:04:30.130 --> 00:04:31.010 [STILER] You okay? 00:04:31.010 --> 00:04:31.930 [GORDON] You okay? 00:04:35.540 --> 00:04:36.960 [KISSING SOUNDS] 00:04:40.200 --> 00:04:43.120 [STILER] I remember, when Danny went back to work, everyone would be like, 00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:44.940 "Oh my God, you're an amazing dad." 00:04:44.940 --> 00:04:47.340 "You took six weeks off; that's so cool." 00:04:47.340 --> 00:04:50.940 And he was getting, like, a lot of positive feedback. 00:04:50.940 --> 00:04:53.880 And then when I went back to work--at three months--to my studio, 00:04:53.880 --> 00:04:56.800 I remember so many comments like this one: 00:04:57.540 --> 00:04:59.620 "That must be so hard." 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:06.300 I had a lot more fear and anxiety about losing my identity, 00:05:06.310 --> 00:05:11.060 and losing the things that I've managed to accomplish so far-- 00:05:11.060 --> 00:05:16.300 and, like, my small foothold in being an artist that's working. 00:05:16.300 --> 00:05:19.280 And Danny didn't have that kind of anxiety. 00:05:19.290 --> 00:05:25.310 But, I think I was afraid I wouldn't be a good enough mom. 00:05:25.310 --> 00:05:29.000 Whenever I would talk to women of a different generation-- 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:30.100 of an older generation-- 00:05:30.100 --> 00:05:31.430 the response would be like, 00:05:31.430 --> 00:05:35.030 "Well maybe you need to rethink your life right now." 00:05:35.030 --> 00:05:39.090 As opposed to what I really needed, which was reinforcement-- 00:05:39.090 --> 00:05:42.840 that I was not, like, fucking up my baby 00:05:42.840 --> 00:05:44.500 and, you know, being selfish. 00:05:44.500 --> 00:05:45.680 But I don't know, Daniel, 00:05:45.680 --> 00:05:48.490 I mean, did you ever have any guilty feeling going back? 00:05:48.490 --> 00:05:50.419 Because I remember you blasted out of here. 00:05:50.419 --> 00:05:52.240 [GORDON] I was conflicted, I think, 00:05:52.240 --> 00:05:56.370 when I first went back to work. 00:05:56.370 --> 00:05:58.560 When there's less time, you just have to be more thoughtful 00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:02.320 about how you spend it. 00:06:02.320 --> 00:06:04.410 Even though it's maybe... 00:06:04.410 --> 00:06:06.770 there's less available time, 00:06:06.770 --> 00:06:08.470 I haven't got less done. 00:06:08.470 --> 00:06:09.550 I really haven't. 00:06:09.760 --> 00:06:11.720 [We are currently closed for installation. Daniel Gordon's exhibition "Screen Selections and Still Lifes" opens Thursday, October 30th...] 00:06:11.720 --> 00:06:13.080 [GORDON] Is it ready? 00:06:16.440 --> 00:06:19.820 [WALLSPACE, Chelsea] 00:06:26.389 --> 00:06:28.869 Yeah, I mean, like... 00:06:29.700 --> 00:06:30.840 You know... 00:06:31.310 --> 00:06:34.430 I want them to read as individual works, but... 00:06:35.660 --> 00:06:38.380 [STILER] But was this a decision, their spacing here? 00:06:38.380 --> 00:06:39.900 Because this feels kind of... 00:06:40.620 --> 00:06:41.980 [GORDON] Yeah. Yeah. 00:06:46.340 --> 00:06:48.440 [STILER] I think it looks so great. 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:51.580 [GORDON] Cool. You do? 00:06:51.580 --> 00:06:53.380 [STILER] Mmm hmm. I love it. 00:06:54.400 --> 00:06:55.280 I love it. 00:07:08.540 --> 00:07:11.360 [GORDON] But, honestly, now having Gus, 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:14.970 it's such a pleasure and a relief 00:07:14.970 --> 00:07:19.949 to have some other thing that's very important, 00:07:19.949 --> 00:07:21.919 that pulls you away from all that stuff. 00:07:21.919 --> 00:07:26.389 You know, you can't obsess and take care of Gus; 00:07:26.389 --> 00:07:28.070 you have to obsess about Gus, 00:07:28.070 --> 00:07:30.139 and then you can obsess about the other stuff, 00:07:30.139 --> 00:07:31.080 or whatever, you know, 00:07:31.080 --> 00:07:34.840 like it's really nice to have 00:07:34.840 --> 00:07:38.970 just this whole other amazing part. 00:07:38.970 --> 00:07:40.160 It's not about art; 00:07:40.160 --> 00:07:42.030 it's just about... I don't know... 00:07:42.030 --> 00:07:43.250 it's about... 00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:46.940 Life and love and family 00:07:46.949 --> 00:07:49.139 and all that good stuff. 00:07:49.139 --> 00:07:52.360 [STILER] And, you know, eventually a studio assistant. 00:07:52.360 --> 00:07:55.260 [GORDON] Yeah, small hand labor as well, which... 00:07:55.260 --> 00:07:56.100 [LAUGHING] 00:07:56.100 --> 00:07:59.630 I think that will come into play in a couple of years, so... 00:08:00.900 --> 00:08:03.300 [STILER] Okay, but don't be mad at me, okay sweetie? 00:08:03.300 --> 00:08:03.960 Alright? 00:08:03.960 --> 00:08:05.940 [GORDON] What's this? 00:08:05.940 --> 00:08:10.580 Because I've been wondering all this time! 00:08:10.580 --> 00:08:13.090 You got your pants all dirty, crazy guy.