WEBVTT 00:00:02.627 --> 00:00:06.540 Have you ever heard about someone who was happy just before dying ? 00:00:06.627 --> 00:00:10.745 A climber went up a mountain and never came down again. 00:00:10.827 --> 00:00:13.102 He reached his goal. 00:00:13.187 --> 00:00:16.577 A diver went under water and didn't come up. 00:00:16.667 --> 00:00:22.105 He set his personal record. Maybe he smiled at that ! 00:00:22.187 --> 00:00:24.940 And here l am, at the end of this story. 00:00:26.667 --> 00:00:29.579 This is me. You might think l'm weird, 00:00:29.667 --> 00:00:33.023 but even though l'm dying, l'm happy ! 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:37.074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 00:00:54.347 --> 00:00:56.099 1 5 SEPTEMBER 2000, 5:1 5 AM 00:00:56.187 --> 00:00:58.018 What's a grudge ? 00:00:58.107 --> 00:01:03.022 You bear a grudge when you... well...when you and l... 00:01:03.107 --> 00:01:09.057 Come on, you know what l mean... You have to... 00:01:09.147 --> 00:01:11.945 Jeez, why do l have to do this voice-over ? 00:01:12.027 --> 00:01:14.143 Now, a grudge is... 00:01:14.227 --> 00:01:18.015 Well, you are buddy-buddy with someone, right ? 00:01:18.107 --> 00:01:20.940 You argue for some foolish reason and then... 00:01:21.027 --> 00:01:25.339 You don't see each other for three years, like we did. 00:01:30.987 --> 00:01:33.421 Who the hell is that, at quarter past five ? 00:01:56.427 --> 00:01:59.817 You haven't seen me for ages and you slam the door in my face ? 00:01:59.907 --> 00:02:01.499 What do you want ? 00:02:02.307 --> 00:02:06.266 l know it's late but something happened... 00:02:06.347 --> 00:02:08.144 What the fuck do you want ? 00:02:09.707 --> 00:02:11.265 Aldo is ill. 00:02:12.627 --> 00:02:15.016 Yet, things were different three years ago... 00:02:15.707 --> 00:02:17.663 THREE YEARS AGO. 00:02:28.227 --> 00:02:32.857 Giovanni, Giacomo and l were chums once, l mean real chums. 00:02:32.947 --> 00:02:34.380 Besides, we were actors. 00:02:34.467 --> 00:02:38.426 Well, not really Actor's Studio, we were more of... well... 00:02:39.387 --> 00:02:42.697 Anyway, l worked as an extra in operas... 00:02:42.787 --> 00:02:45.665 lt was five nights a week plus the matinee. 00:02:45.747 --> 00:02:49.706 You know, at the beginning you can't be too picky... 00:02:50.147 --> 00:02:52.900 l found the job thanks to my girlfriend Silvana. 00:02:52.987 --> 00:02:57.538 l don't want to sound boastful, but with me it was girls galore ! 00:03:14.267 --> 00:03:18.863 Guys, l know l told you a hundred times, but it's true ! 00:03:18.947 --> 00:03:21.336 l'm in love ! 00:03:21.827 --> 00:03:26.901 Her name's Dalia, she's gorgeous, she's nice, and smart and... 00:03:26.987 --> 00:03:28.943 Whom are you talking to ? 00:03:29.227 --> 00:03:32.742 No-one, get back to sleep. 00:03:32.827 --> 00:03:37.378 - lt's that pic again, isn't it ? - Just chatting with old friends. 00:03:37.467 --> 00:03:39.697 Do you take that photo everywhere ? 00:03:39.787 --> 00:03:42.347 l feel uncomfortable without it. 00:03:42.427 --> 00:03:47.296 Are you jealous ? Are you ? Jealous girl ! 00:03:49.907 --> 00:03:54.662 ''l've fallen in love with you, 00:03:55.307 --> 00:04:00.540 because l didn't want to be alone.'' 00:04:02.907 --> 00:04:04.863 Honey, l'm sorry ! 00:04:04.987 --> 00:04:08.946 Jeez, it hurts ! lt bloody hurts ! 00:04:09.667 --> 00:04:13.103 Bloody hell, billions of platelets wasted ! 00:04:13.227 --> 00:04:14.580 Sorry ! 00:04:22.027 --> 00:04:25.497 Sorry, honey l'm so sorry ! 00:04:25.587 --> 00:04:32.060 Don't worry, seven billion platelets wasted but never mind... 00:04:32.147 --> 00:04:35.025 l'm so sorry, sweetie, please forgive me ! 00:04:35.107 --> 00:04:39.385 Stop apologizing, l'm weak and you smother me. 00:04:39.467 --> 00:04:42.106 - Sorry. - And now, the evening news. 00:04:42.187 --> 00:04:45.702 Fools, the evening news and it's only 2 o'clock. 00:04:45.787 --> 00:04:51.384 ''Drivers are stuck in a traffic jam...'' 00:04:52.507 --> 00:04:54.543 Jeez, the matinee! 00:05:03.027 --> 00:05:07.020 Where are my pants ? You never find them when you need them ! 00:05:08.267 --> 00:05:12.465 - Don't throttle me ! - Your right arm here... 00:05:12.547 --> 00:05:15.266 - Bloody hell, l can't breathe ! - Sorry. - Stop apologizing ! 00:05:15.347 --> 00:05:18.737 lf they don't fire me, l'll quit, because l pity them ! 00:05:19.507 --> 00:05:22.180 - l'm so sorry ! - Will you stop that ! 00:05:22.267 --> 00:05:25.782 My fly's open, l know. Give me a kiss, come on. 00:05:26.507 --> 00:05:30.466 The picture ! My memories... Kiss kiss ! 00:06:06.627 --> 00:06:08.106 Murderer ! 00:06:19.147 --> 00:06:21.820 - Would you like some ketch-up ? - No, thanks. 00:06:37.267 --> 00:06:39.622 Shit, do you know what time it is ? 00:06:50.107 --> 00:06:51.142 Pretty, aren't they ? 00:07:06.507 --> 00:07:08.145 Maybe l wasn't a great extra. 00:07:08.227 --> 00:07:11.936 But with my XYllth-century costume on, l looked smashing ! 00:07:12.027 --> 00:07:14.780 lt went better for someone else. 00:07:14.867 --> 00:07:19.622 Giacomo had made it in the cinema world, he worked as a dubber. 00:07:19.707 --> 00:07:23.416 He liked dubbing because he could be a lot of people. 00:07:23.507 --> 00:07:26.067 One day you are Cary Grant, the next you are De Niro, 00:07:26.147 --> 00:07:29.298 Pacino or Tom Cruise. 00:07:29.387 --> 00:07:31.457 One day Giacomo was Mister Quaggott. 00:07:31.547 --> 00:07:36.337 How's your cough, Mr Quaggott ? Let me hear it. 00:07:39.507 --> 00:07:40.860 Again. 00:07:44.027 --> 00:07:46.018 lt's fine, Mr Quaggott. 00:07:46.107 --> 00:07:51.420 Go on with the treatment and you'll be fine. Goodbye. 00:07:51.507 --> 00:07:55.739 Before you let the next patient in, l must tell you something. 00:07:55.827 --> 00:07:58.944 - What, doctor ? - l love you. 00:08:04.907 --> 00:08:09.583 And then there was Giovanni. His situation was even worse. 00:08:12.627 --> 00:08:17.223 Poor devil, he worked as a mime at a department store. 00:08:19.867 --> 00:08:24.065 One, two, three... Fuck off, mime ! 00:08:24.387 --> 00:08:28.938 - Let's do that. - Come on, don't... 00:08:33.187 --> 00:08:38.500 Come on, kids, l'm working ! l know you want to have fun... 00:08:38.587 --> 00:08:40.657 Shit ! 00:08:42.267 --> 00:08:46.306 Why don't you go to school like all kids do ? 00:08:46.387 --> 00:08:51.017 What blockheads ! lf l catch you... 00:08:51.107 --> 00:08:56.181 lf l were your father, you'd get a good thrashing. 00:09:04.027 --> 00:09:05.904 Didn't you hear me ? 00:09:05.987 --> 00:09:08.865 - l told you to stand... - Still. - And silent. 00:09:08.947 --> 00:09:13.384 Don't talk and don't move. 00:09:13.467 --> 00:09:17.619 You must not move for no-reason-at-all ! 00:09:19.347 --> 00:09:25.104 This is not the street. This is a big department store. 00:09:25.187 --> 00:09:28.259 l'm watching you, be careful ! 00:09:28.347 --> 00:09:33.785 We have to defend our reputation. Next time you move, you're fired ! 00:09:40.467 --> 00:09:42.423 And keep smiling. 00:09:44.947 --> 00:09:47.939 Giovanni could have had a better job. 00:09:48.027 --> 00:09:51.144 His folks owned a small coffee-shop. 00:09:52.747 --> 00:09:54.863 lt's a pity Giovanni hates coffee ! 00:10:05.427 --> 00:10:08.737 You'd think we were three assholes and maybe we were. 00:10:08.827 --> 00:10:14.299 Things changed the day l moved house. lt was a big day ! 00:10:15.347 --> 00:10:20.785 Giovanni had agreed to let me live in his parents' old store. 00:10:20.867 --> 00:10:23.222 Living in a loft was my dream. 00:10:24.267 --> 00:10:28.419 - Home sweet home ! - Not forever, anyway... 00:10:28.507 --> 00:10:33.342 - Now l'm here l won't go away. - Let me get this straight... 00:10:33.427 --> 00:10:36.499 Sorry, Giovanni, what a fool l am ! 00:10:36.587 --> 00:10:39.181 Thanks, man, you are a lifesaver ! 00:10:39.267 --> 00:10:42.259 lt's all right, we didn't use the store anyway. 00:10:42.347 --> 00:10:44.497 But you won't stay here forever. 00:10:44.587 --> 00:10:49.103 Giovanni, come here any time. The door is open for you. 00:10:49.187 --> 00:10:51.143 Make yourself at home. 00:10:51.227 --> 00:10:54.583 - Well, l own this place... - Just give me a ring before. 00:10:54.667 --> 00:10:59.946 Giacomino, you're welcome too ! People come and go in this house. 00:11:00.027 --> 00:11:01.858 - No. - We do whatever we want to. 00:11:01.947 --> 00:11:05.064 - No. - We'll eat and drink all day. 00:11:05.147 --> 00:11:10.779 We get drunk and then we break this bloody house down ! 00:11:10.867 --> 00:11:14.576 - You'll be in charge. - Me ? 00:11:14.667 --> 00:11:17.864 We were at a turning point in our lives. 00:11:17.947 --> 00:11:22.543 We would stage a play on our own. We just had to choose one ! 00:11:22.627 --> 00:11:28.179 l have a great idea. What about ''Cyrano de Bergerac'' ? 00:11:28.947 --> 00:11:33.418 Giacomino, enough of this American bullshit, give us a break ! 00:11:33.507 --> 00:11:37.500 - ''Cyrano'' is a French play. - You're such a smart alec ! 00:11:39.787 --> 00:11:41.903 What about ''La Locandiera'' ? 00:11:41.987 --> 00:11:45.900 But it's written in dialect ! How can you learn the lines ? 00:11:45.987 --> 00:11:48.342 - What's the problem ? - Can you act in dialect ? 00:11:48.427 --> 00:11:50.463 - Piece of cake ! - Show me, then ! 00:11:50.547 --> 00:11:51.900 Gestures are all that matters ! 00:11:51.987 --> 00:11:56.424 l saw two Cozzer's standing on a Johnny Horner... 00:11:56.507 --> 00:11:58.338 - Johnny who ? - Horner. 00:11:58.427 --> 00:12:00.099 ls this Goldoni's dialect ? 00:12:00.187 --> 00:12:03.941 Words are not important, it's their sound that matters. 00:12:04.027 --> 00:12:06.302 You've gone soft in the head. 00:12:06.387 --> 00:12:09.743 Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. 00:12:09.827 --> 00:12:14.139 l had taken an important decision, l'd ditch my girlfriend, Silvana. 00:12:14.227 --> 00:12:18.106 She was awfully clingy, l wanted to get rid of her 00:12:18.187 --> 00:12:21.259 and get together with Dalia, remember ? 00:12:21.347 --> 00:12:24.737 The girl who made me waste four billion platelets. 00:12:24.827 --> 00:12:27.978 l loved her so much l had bought an engagement ring. 00:12:28.067 --> 00:12:31.776 She'll come tomorrow at half past seven, l'll give to her the ring. 00:12:31.867 --> 00:12:34.984 ''l'll give her the ring'', you should brush up your grammar. 00:12:35.067 --> 00:12:40.346 Jeez, you're so fussy ! Anyway, don't come here tomorrow. 00:12:40.427 --> 00:12:45.217 We thought that was a fresh start. 00:12:45.307 --> 00:12:47.696 But it was the beginning of the end... 00:12:47.987 --> 00:12:52.538 Freeze ! lt's Dalia, my Aphrodite ! 00:12:53.507 --> 00:12:56.863 - Come on, pick it up. - Let her stew a bit. 00:12:56.947 --> 00:12:58.778 She'll hang up. 00:13:00.267 --> 00:13:02.497 Hello swee... Silvana ! 00:13:02.907 --> 00:13:06.502 - Tell her l'm not in ! - You answered, moron ! 00:13:06.587 --> 00:13:13.140 Thank you, friends my ass ! Silvana, l was about to call you. 00:13:13.227 --> 00:13:19.382 That's telepathy ! What ? Tomorrow at half past seven ? 00:13:19.467 --> 00:13:25.099 l can't, my dog is biting his tail. 00:13:25.627 --> 00:13:31.065 l went to a kennels and got one. Poor dog, l felt sorry for him. 00:13:31.667 --> 00:13:35.103 - Tell me a dog's name, quick ! - Boxer. - Boxer. 00:13:35.187 --> 00:13:37.621 Morons, boxers don't have a tail ! 00:13:37.707 --> 00:13:41.666 Well, he tries to bite his tail but he's got diabetes. 00:13:41.747 --> 00:13:44.500 The vet said so. 00:13:44.987 --> 00:13:53.099 Tomorrow at half past ten. No, half past seven. Alright, at nine. 00:13:53.187 --> 00:13:56.497 Ok, eight o'clock. No, half past seven, l'll call for you. 00:13:56.587 --> 00:13:58.339 You'll come here ? 00:13:58.427 --> 00:14:03.182 No, l've got nothing to hide. l wanted to spare you the trouble. 00:14:03.267 --> 00:14:05.383 Bye, then. 00:14:08.267 --> 00:14:09.939 Why ? 00:14:10.027 --> 00:14:11.938 Giacomino, please ! 00:14:12.027 --> 00:14:14.336 - What do you want ? - Help me ditch her ! 00:14:14.427 --> 00:14:18.420 l can't spend my life helping you to ditch your chicks ! 00:14:18.507 --> 00:14:23.023 - Please ! - Grow up ! Go and dump her. 00:14:23.107 --> 00:14:25.302 l can only give love, you know. 00:14:25.387 --> 00:14:29.744 - Come on, do him a favor. - Come on, do me a favor ! 00:14:29.827 --> 00:14:33.581 - l can't, l'm working tomorrow. - What are you doing ? 00:14:33.667 --> 00:14:35.305 l'm dubbing a movie. 00:14:35.387 --> 00:14:38.345 Did they ask you to fart while a train is passing by ? 00:14:38.427 --> 00:14:42.784 Look who's talking, Mister Mime ! What don't you help Aldo ? 00:14:42.867 --> 00:14:47.782 - No problem. - Do it, then ! - Please, Giovanni ! 00:14:48.987 --> 00:14:50.545 Thank you ! 00:14:51.347 --> 00:14:53.656 l don't even know her, what shall l say ? 00:14:53.747 --> 00:14:55.544 Don't worry ! 00:14:55.627 --> 00:15:00.462 Jilting other people's girlfriends is dead easy. 00:15:00.547 --> 00:15:07.100 Just don't let her speak. Don't give her a chance to reply. 00:15:07.187 --> 00:15:10.304 Be cool and detached. 00:15:10.387 --> 00:15:12.662 - Like Dino Zoff ? - Precisely. 00:15:14.547 --> 00:15:18.301 l know you don't know me, but l must talk to you. 00:15:18.387 --> 00:15:22.380 - Yes, but... - Please, don't interrupt me. 00:15:22.467 --> 00:15:24.697 Please, let me in. 00:16:03.307 --> 00:16:07.539 l know it's painful, but l hope you'll understand. 00:16:09.067 --> 00:16:12.582 l understand everything but one thing: 00:16:13.627 --> 00:16:15.618 who's Aldo ? 00:16:18.187 --> 00:16:20.576 Aren't you Silvana, the actress ? 00:16:21.387 --> 00:16:24.538 No. l'm Marina, and l'm a stewardess. 00:16:28.467 --> 00:16:32.346 - ls this her flat ? - Yes, but she'll be gone by now. 00:16:33.907 --> 00:16:37.377 Good morning, ''Al Chicco d'oro'', can l help you ? 00:16:37.467 --> 00:16:40.857 Aldo, it's Giovanni. You don't need to answer like that. 00:16:40.947 --> 00:16:45.384 - Giovanni, you lost a client. - Who ? 00:16:45.467 --> 00:16:49.983 - One Barlocchi or Barlozzi... - Mister Barozzi ! - Yes. 00:16:50.067 --> 00:16:52.137 He was our best client ! 00:16:52.227 --> 00:16:55.458 Aldo, l told you not to talk to our clients. 00:16:55.547 --> 00:16:58.937 Just give them my folks' phone number ! 00:16:59.027 --> 00:17:02.303 He was just a bumptious fool, you won't miss him. 00:17:02.387 --> 00:17:04.821 Listen, we must talk. 00:17:04.907 --> 00:17:07.785 Did you sort out that little business ? 00:17:07.867 --> 00:17:11.257 That's the point, l've made a mess of it. 00:17:11.347 --> 00:17:14.544 Well, Silvana is coming to your place. 00:17:14.867 --> 00:17:16.983 - Who ? - Silvana, she's coming over. 00:17:17.067 --> 00:17:20.104 Are you brainless ? Dalia is coming, too ! 00:17:20.187 --> 00:17:23.941 - Didn't you say second floor ? - What shall l do now ? 00:17:26.187 --> 00:17:27.700 l'll kill you ! 00:17:28.507 --> 00:17:32.136 What shall l do ? Chill out ! 00:17:32.987 --> 00:17:37.060 You can't trust your friends ! l must relax. 00:17:41.507 --> 00:17:44.579 l can't, l'm too edgy. Bloody hell ! 00:17:55.547 --> 00:17:59.938 - Silvana, what a nice surprise ! - What ? You said half past seven. 00:18:00.027 --> 00:18:05.784 l mean, you're surprisingly punctual ! 00:18:05.867 --> 00:18:08.779 - You look funny. - No, l'm all right. 00:18:08.867 --> 00:18:12.382 - Let me in, l want to see your house. - lt's all in a mess. 00:18:12.467 --> 00:18:16.460 l'd rather you didn't come in, l have to safeguard my image. 00:18:16.547 --> 00:18:19.584 What's with you ? Why are you looking round ? 00:18:19.667 --> 00:18:24.343 - Can't l just look round ? - Let me in, l must go to the toilet. 00:18:24.427 --> 00:18:30.377 lt's stopped up, it's disgusting, believe me... 00:18:30.467 --> 00:18:33.379 What's going on ? What are you hiding ? 00:18:33.467 --> 00:18:36.664 - Nothing ! l mean... - So let me in, let me in ! - No ! 00:18:36.747 --> 00:18:38.100 Let me in ! 00:18:49.827 --> 00:18:54.503 Jeez, what have l done ? Why am l such an idiot ? ldiot ! 00:18:55.387 --> 00:18:57.901 Have l killed her ? 00:19:04.187 --> 00:19:07.338 Honey, wake up ! Come on ! 00:19:07.427 --> 00:19:12.501 How are you ? Lean on me. Are you all right ? 00:19:12.587 --> 00:19:14.817 God, that hurt ! Aldo, what happened ? 00:19:14.907 --> 00:19:18.866 Never mind that, take a deep breath. 00:19:21.947 --> 00:19:26.418 - Why did you head-butt me ? - Who, me ? l saved your life ! 00:19:26.507 --> 00:19:31.865 - l remember you head-butted me. - No, a tile fell on you. 00:19:31.947 --> 00:19:36.225 l protected you with my body, l saved your life, and you said: 00:19:36.307 --> 00:19:41.142 ''Thank you for saving my life, but l think we should split up.'' 00:19:41.227 --> 00:19:44.060 - Did l ? - You did ! 00:19:44.147 --> 00:19:47.583 ''We've come to the end of the line of our love.'' You said so. 00:19:47.667 --> 00:19:50.625 - Blame it on the tile. - Anyway, you said it ! 00:19:50.707 --> 00:19:57.260 No, sweetie pie, it can't be, l didn't mean it ! l love you. 00:19:57.347 --> 00:20:01.659 You can't imagine how much l love you, l want to be with you. 00:20:06.027 --> 00:20:07.460 What is this ? 00:20:24.227 --> 00:20:27.663 lt's beautiful ! Oh, darling ! 00:20:30.947 --> 00:20:36.419 Sweetie, it's gorgeous ! 00:20:40.827 --> 00:20:44.740 lt's not clear how it happened. lt was an accident but... 00:20:44.827 --> 00:20:48.502 Was Aldo driving ? Who knows ? 00:20:48.587 --> 00:20:52.341 l can't picture Aldo driving a car. 00:20:52.427 --> 00:20:55.578 He could hardly ride his bike, remember ? 00:20:59.587 --> 00:21:05.105 We're assuming it's all his fault and maybe it wasn't. 00:21:06.387 --> 00:21:10.619 l didn't even know he had gone to Sicily. 00:21:11.427 --> 00:21:18.185 l haven't seen him since that day, maybe you did. 00:21:19.107 --> 00:21:22.622 lt was three years ago, wasn't it ? 00:21:22.707 --> 00:21:25.301 Listen, l don't feel like talking. 00:21:25.387 --> 00:21:30.063 Let's do this thing if we have to, but we don't need to talk. 00:21:44.907 --> 00:21:48.138 That's our train. Palermo, platform seven. 00:21:48.227 --> 00:21:50.661 We should buy tickets, Giacomo. 00:21:50.747 --> 00:21:54.581 We bought them already. 00:21:54.787 --> 00:21:56.903 We ? Who ? 00:21:58.227 --> 00:22:01.902 Sorry l didn't tell you. She bought them. 00:22:12.907 --> 00:22:17.776 - Bye. - Giovanni, she called me. - l don't care. 00:22:17.867 --> 00:22:21.098 Giovanni, we wouldn't have known otherwise ! 00:22:21.187 --> 00:22:25.942 - l don't give a damn. - Listen, do it for Aldo. 00:22:30.307 --> 00:22:32.377 Right, l'll catch a later train. 00:22:33.667 --> 00:22:36.135 lt could be too late. 00:22:56.307 --> 00:23:01.256 You know, l really think we should stage ''Cyrano''. 00:23:01.347 --> 00:23:04.339 There are a lot of characters and it's just the three of us ! 00:23:04.427 --> 00:23:10.377 - l know, but l'll sort that out. - Will you play Roxane ? 00:23:10.467 --> 00:23:13.425 l'm not playing Roxane, but l was thinking... 00:23:13.507 --> 00:23:19.343 - lt's in French and in verse ! - Will you let me speak ? 00:23:19.427 --> 00:23:22.942 - l'm listening. - There's Cyrano, right ? 00:23:23.027 --> 00:23:25.143 Giacomo, look at the ducks ! 00:23:29.827 --> 00:23:33.536 My idea is to have a storyteller... 00:23:33.627 --> 00:23:35.583 Giacomo, look at the sheep ! 00:23:37.387 --> 00:23:40.459 Look at that lamb ! 00:23:42.147 --> 00:23:44.183 - May l carry on or...? - Please, do ! 00:23:44.267 --> 00:23:48.897 - As for Roxane, we can... - Look at those turtledoves ! 00:23:50.827 --> 00:23:56.220 lf you don't want to listen to me, just tell me, ok ? 00:23:56.307 --> 00:24:00.016 l'll shut up, you don't need to go ''quack'' all the time. 00:24:00.107 --> 00:24:04.339 Giacomo, l'm listening to you, but you should listen to nature ! 00:24:15.147 --> 00:24:19.902 - Ask me if l'm happy. - Are you happy ? - Very. 00:24:19.987 --> 00:24:23.218 - Look what l found this morning. - A bicycle ? Sweet ! 00:24:23.307 --> 00:24:25.662 Moron ! A letter from Dalia ! 00:24:25.747 --> 00:24:28.898 She dumped me, l lost her thanks to you. 00:24:28.987 --> 00:24:33.856 - You gave me the wrong address. - l don't want to talk about it. 00:24:33.947 --> 00:24:36.256 - Anyway, that's not the point. - What is ? 00:24:36.347 --> 00:24:39.896 - l gave Silvana the ring. - Didn't you want to ditch her ? 00:24:39.987 --> 00:24:44.378 - l head-butted her first. - What ? - You head-butted her ? 00:24:44.467 --> 00:24:47.027 - Giacomino ! - What ? 00:24:47.107 --> 00:24:50.622 She's showing off the ring saying l want to marry her. 00:24:50.707 --> 00:24:53.858 - So ? - Help me. - No way ! - Please ! 00:24:53.947 --> 00:24:56.905 Pantani sprints ahead. That's the Tour of ltaly, guys. 00:24:56.987 --> 00:24:59.342 Baronchelli heels him. 00:24:59.427 --> 00:25:03.579 Bloody hell ! The chain has worked loose ! Wait for me ! 00:25:03.667 --> 00:25:10.061 Bloody chain ! Giacomino ! Don't you feel sorry for me ? 00:25:10.827 --> 00:25:14.342 Eventually l had managed to persuade Giacomino to help me. 00:25:14.427 --> 00:25:19.182 He would go to Silvana's place and talk her into breaking up. 00:25:19.267 --> 00:25:24.102 lf he didn't succeed, he would head-butt her and steal the ring. 00:25:24.187 --> 00:25:27.020 Blimey, l got all the if-clauses right ! 00:25:27.827 --> 00:25:31.661 What's this smell ? ls that our dinner or a new fertilizer ? 00:25:31.747 --> 00:25:34.819 You got rid of her, at last ! 00:25:34.907 --> 00:25:38.786 She was so clingy, she was sticking like a leech ! 00:25:38.867 --> 00:25:42.906 You did it, l can tell by the look in your eyes. 00:25:42.987 --> 00:25:46.423 Bloody hell, you're Mister ''Ditch'em all'' ! 00:25:46.507 --> 00:25:49.579 Did you manage to get the ring ? Did you have to head-butt her ? 00:25:49.667 --> 00:25:53.740 You didn't tell me that Silvana's flatmate was gorgeous. 00:25:53.827 --> 00:25:58.662 - What do you mean ? - Ask me if l'm happy. 00:26:01.427 --> 00:26:06.376 - Ouch ! - Are you happy ? - Ouch ! - Are you happy ? 00:26:06.467 --> 00:26:11.746 Relax, Silvana is not a problem. Just do me this favor. 00:26:11.827 --> 00:26:17.982 After the dinner party she'll be history, trust me. 00:26:18.067 --> 00:26:21.059 - When is the party ? - Tomorrow. 00:26:21.147 --> 00:26:25.026 - l can't. - Don't be such a fool. - Do l have to be there ? 00:26:25.107 --> 00:26:29.817 l told you we have to be in pairs, Daniela and l, you and Silvana. 00:26:29.907 --> 00:26:32.137 Daniela won't come without Silvana. 00:26:32.227 --> 00:26:35.105 Besides, we can't have a party at your place without you. 00:26:35.187 --> 00:26:40.659 Aldo, to have a 1960s fridge doesn't mean to have 1960s food ! 00:26:42.147 --> 00:26:47.904 - lt's not just two pairs. - What do you mean ? 00:26:47.987 --> 00:26:53.505 They're bringing a friend, she just moved in with them. 00:26:53.587 --> 00:26:58.103 We need to find another guy or they'll call it off. 00:26:58.187 --> 00:27:00.655 No problem ! Giovanni ? 00:27:00.747 --> 00:27:05.457 Can you pass me the cheese, please ? What about Lello ? 00:27:05.547 --> 00:27:10.337 - Lello is a bore ! - He is, l'll give you that. 00:27:10.427 --> 00:27:14.978 - He's garrulous. - And talks too much. We could invite Brio. 00:27:15.507 --> 00:27:20.456 - We could, if he washed. - You can't ask Brio to wash. 00:27:20.547 --> 00:27:24.586 - Let's ask Rudy. - The guy who steals car radios ? 00:27:24.667 --> 00:27:26.942 No, the other one. 00:27:27.027 --> 00:27:29.825 You mean the one that does burp contests ? 00:27:29.907 --> 00:27:33.820 - He won two gold medals. - You're kidding, right ? 00:27:33.907 --> 00:27:39.664 - He's a VlP and you don't care. - l knew l couldn't count on you. 00:27:39.747 --> 00:27:44.867 What fools ! Our man is here before our very eyes ! 00:27:44.947 --> 00:27:50.146 Giovanni ? Have you got a friend we can invite ? 00:27:50.227 --> 00:27:54.823 - No. - Not even a primate with an opposable thumb ? 00:27:54.907 --> 00:27:59.423 - Get lost ! - lt was a joke ! 00:28:02.507 --> 00:28:06.341 - He bought it ! - l didn't. Get stuffed ! 00:28:06.987 --> 00:28:13.460 ''Treat your woman badly, keep her waiting for hours. 00:28:14.307 --> 00:28:20.257 Don't call her, and when you do, sound as if you don't care. 00:28:21.187 --> 00:28:27.820 Let her think it's no big deal, measure out love and cruelty. 00:28:28.427 --> 00:28:35.538 Try to be a tender lover, but once out of bed, be pitiless.'' 00:28:36.267 --> 00:28:38.986 Look, Aldo, this sounds like bullshit. 00:28:39.067 --> 00:28:43.265 Giacomino, listen to me. Marco Ferradini is love's guru. 00:28:43.347 --> 00:28:46.942 His song ''Love's Theorem'' tells you how to deal with women. 00:28:47.027 --> 00:28:50.702 - Right. - Back from the start. 00:28:50.787 --> 00:28:53.017 - ''Try to be...'' - ..honest.'' 00:28:53.107 --> 00:28:56.417 No, ''a tender lover'' ! You forgot already ! 00:28:56.507 --> 00:28:59.579 lt's a key point in the Theorem ! 00:28:59.667 --> 00:29:02.659 l'll come because l promised l would, ok ? 00:29:02.747 --> 00:29:06.626 But what's the chick like ? l hope she's not a monster. 00:29:06.707 --> 00:29:11.735 She might as well be a German hound, you must help Giacomino. 00:29:11.827 --> 00:29:17.857 - Right. - The sooner, the better. Back to the song. 00:29:17.947 --> 00:29:22.543 You can read all the books there are, which l would never dream of. 00:29:22.627 --> 00:29:28.623 - You're a learned man, huh ? - Ferradini is love's polymath. 00:29:28.707 --> 00:29:31.016 Let's get this straight. 00:29:31.107 --> 00:29:33.382 - The dinner party is for Giacomino, right ? - Yes. 00:29:33.467 --> 00:29:36.823 - He'll pay for it, then. - No, we share. 00:29:36.907 --> 00:29:39.819 - l gave my contribution, already. - Which is ? 00:29:39.907 --> 00:29:43.138 - A coin to get the supermarket trolley. - But you'll get it back. 00:29:43.227 --> 00:29:47.584 ln the meantime my capital is frozen and interest rates grow. 00:29:47.667 --> 00:29:51.546 - What ? - Giacomo, you're hopeless in economics. 00:29:51.627 --> 00:29:55.540 - What's with him ? - He's lost it. Back to the song ! 00:29:55.627 --> 00:29:57.697 - ''Treat your woman... - ..badly.'' 00:29:57.787 --> 00:30:01.780 You can do it, see ? Your eyes sparkle with cleverness. 00:30:01.867 --> 00:30:06.338 - Next, ''try to be... - ..up to the situation''. 00:30:06.427 --> 00:30:09.578 No ! ''A tender lover''! Everybody knows ! 00:30:09.667 --> 00:30:11.817 - Madam, ''try to be... - ..a tender lover.'' 00:30:11.907 --> 00:30:14.785 Even milk enzymes know by now ! 00:30:15.267 --> 00:30:17.223 Let's go on. 00:30:17.387 --> 00:30:19.343 ''Out of bed... 00:30:19.427 --> 00:30:24.342 - ..Keep your head.'' - No ! ''Be pitiless'' ! 00:30:25.427 --> 00:30:29.181 You're hopeless, l'm wasting my time. 00:30:29.987 --> 00:30:33.696 Giovanni, call the dinner off, we're not ready, we can't do it. 00:30:33.787 --> 00:30:38.736 Stop playing the fools, we still have to get dinner ready. 00:30:38.827 --> 00:30:43.582 Giacomino, everybody knows it: ''Once out of bed, be pitiless.'' 00:30:47.587 --> 00:30:50.818 - ''Once out of bed... - ..be pitiless.'' 00:31:01.227 --> 00:31:04.856 - That's impressive, isn't it ? - You need a brain transplant ! 00:31:04.947 --> 00:31:07.097 So the girls will find the house. 00:31:09.027 --> 00:31:11.905 ldiot ! My cousin became deaf because of that ! 00:31:11.987 --> 00:31:16.822 - And you'll become dumb after this. - Stay away from me. 00:31:20.747 --> 00:31:26.299 lf Giacomino sits down here, Daniela can sit here. 00:31:27.667 --> 00:31:29.498 - Giacomino ? - What ? 00:31:29.587 --> 00:31:32.784 - What's your best profile ? - Pardon ? 00:31:34.187 --> 00:31:37.224 Never mind, l'll leave it to chance. 00:31:37.587 --> 00:31:41.819 Silvana must sit as far as possible from me. 00:31:43.787 --> 00:31:50.056 The coin in the supermarket trolley ! l left it in there ! 00:32:28.187 --> 00:32:30.098 Marina, the stewardess. 00:32:35.267 --> 00:32:37.656 Ok, l'll say one thing and then l'll shut up. 00:32:37.747 --> 00:32:43.105 On a magazine they told you how to give medicines to a cat. 00:32:43.187 --> 00:32:48.659 You take the cat's paw, right ? You spread the medicine on it. 00:32:48.747 --> 00:32:57.177 The cat licks it up, so he takes the medicine. 00:32:57.267 --> 00:33:01.499 True, when my grandma had to give me suppositories, 00:33:01.587 --> 00:33:05.341 she spread them on the saddle of my bike ! 00:33:10.667 --> 00:33:16.902 Giovanni, tell me one thing. How did you and Marina meet ? 00:33:16.987 --> 00:33:19.217 Well, you know... 00:33:19.307 --> 00:33:21.343 - We have mutual friends. - Precisely. 00:33:21.427 --> 00:33:25.864 l bet you didn't meet on a plane, Giovanni is afraid of flying. 00:33:25.947 --> 00:33:28.780 - Are you really ? - Not much. 00:33:28.867 --> 00:33:34.658 Not much, he just shits in his pants, doesn't he sweetie ? 00:33:35.987 --> 00:33:40.424 - Just a little. - Anyway, how did you two meet ? 00:33:40.507 --> 00:33:43.977 Silvana, he told you, they have mutual friends. 00:33:44.067 --> 00:33:46.945 You said you'd shut up but you don't ! 00:33:51.067 --> 00:33:56.585 - Who are your mutual friends ? - Giovannino, what's this smell ? 00:33:56.667 --> 00:33:58.658 - What smell ? - Like something burning. 00:33:58.747 --> 00:34:01.420 - The roast ! - l can smell it too. 00:34:01.507 --> 00:34:03.657 - l'll check it out. - l'll help. - Thanks. 00:34:03.747 --> 00:34:07.979 - l can't smell anything. - You screwed up your nostrils. 00:34:11.827 --> 00:34:13.385 lt was really burning. 00:34:13.467 --> 00:34:17.221 - l really smelt it. - Did you ? - No ! 00:34:21.827 --> 00:34:24.261 That Aldo over there... 00:34:24.347 --> 00:34:28.420 - ls he the one you told me about ? - Yes. 00:34:28.507 --> 00:34:31.579 - Are they still together ? - So it seems. 00:34:32.787 --> 00:34:34.379 He also gave her a ring. 00:34:34.467 --> 00:34:38.904 lt's a long story, l cocked the whole thing up. 00:34:42.467 --> 00:34:47.257 - Giacomo is coming on to... - So it seems. 00:34:51.627 --> 00:34:53.982 - So we... - What ? 00:34:54.067 --> 00:34:57.616 - We are the third pair ! - No, l mean... 00:34:57.707 --> 00:35:02.497 l wouldn't have come if l had known you'd be here too. 00:35:02.587 --> 00:35:06.375 - Thanks a lot ! - No, l mean... 00:35:06.467 --> 00:35:10.824 l wish ! l mean... l wish you... 00:35:11.947 --> 00:35:14.097 Well, excuse me. 00:35:15.227 --> 00:35:19.982 The problem is to find a theatre, because we can sort out the rest. 00:35:20.067 --> 00:35:24.936 You know, appearance is not important. 00:35:25.027 --> 00:35:29.942 lt's the ideas that matter, the content. 00:35:30.027 --> 00:35:36.546 The history of drama says it all: make your imagination work ! 00:35:37.987 --> 00:35:40.217 What play will you stage ? 00:35:40.307 --> 00:35:44.619 He'd like to stage ''Cyrano'' but we're not sure. 00:35:44.707 --> 00:35:51.465 l can be Roxane, then ! l can picture myself on the balcony. 00:35:51.547 --> 00:35:57.224 ''A kiss is a rose-dot on the 'i' of 'adoration'.'' 00:35:57.307 --> 00:36:02.097 We should do ''Three men in a boat'', it's just men. 00:36:02.547 --> 00:36:07.541 l'm playing Cyrano. 00:36:07.627 --> 00:36:10.664 You won't need a fake nose ! 00:36:15.307 --> 00:36:19.220 Giacomino, don't take it badly. lf l had your nose... 00:36:19.307 --> 00:36:21.138 l'd hang myself ! 00:36:21.227 --> 00:36:25.425 We'll draw a rubber band round it. 00:36:28.227 --> 00:36:32.379 - So it will look fake. - Does anyone want some sangria ? 00:36:33.267 --> 00:36:35.861 - Nice idea ! - lt's the tenor's helmet. 00:36:35.947 --> 00:36:39.178 They fired me, l took this as golden handshake. 00:36:39.267 --> 00:36:41.986 - lt sucks. - lt was Pavarotti's helmet. 00:36:42.067 --> 00:36:46.504 - That means five liters of sangria ! - Plus his dandruff. 00:36:47.187 --> 00:36:49.940 - Nobody lives upstairs, right ? - Why ? 00:36:50.027 --> 00:36:54.305 - l heard a noise. - Maybe it was a pigeon. 00:37:06.547 --> 00:37:09.380 - Who the fuck are you ? - Who are you ? 00:37:10.067 --> 00:37:13.104 Shut up, where are the computers ? 00:37:13.747 --> 00:37:16.466 - What computers ? - Sit down. 00:37:21.587 --> 00:37:24.704 - Are you here for Pavarotti's helmet ? - Shut up. 00:37:25.787 --> 00:37:28.017 The helmet is safe. 00:37:30.907 --> 00:37:35.935 - lsn't this number 1 6 ? - No, this is number 65. 00:37:37.027 --> 00:37:39.461 Don't worry, let's forget about it. 00:37:40.747 --> 00:37:43.056 - Calm down. - Sit down and shut up ! 00:37:45.707 --> 00:37:47.937 Give me your wallet. 00:37:48.027 --> 00:37:51.019 - Calm down. - Your wallet ! - Keep that gun down. - Shut up ! 00:37:51.107 --> 00:37:53.416 - There you go. - Sit down. 00:37:53.507 --> 00:37:56.180 Don't aim your gun at me ! 00:37:59.427 --> 00:38:02.260 - lt's empty ! - You only asked for my wallet. 00:38:02.787 --> 00:38:05.301 - We don't have a penny ! - Shut up, bitch ! 00:38:05.387 --> 00:38:07.947 - l like this guy ! - You ! 00:38:08.027 --> 00:38:11.497 - Take your girlfriend's necklace. - l'm not his... - Shut up. 00:38:12.107 --> 00:38:17.545 Look, my girlfriend has a ring. Show him ! 00:38:18.627 --> 00:38:22.256 - l don't give a damn. - What ? lt cost half a million lira ! 00:38:23.027 --> 00:38:26.656 - Give it to me. - But... - Quick ! - Do as you're told ! 00:38:27.947 --> 00:38:31.098 - What's in your mouth ? - Nuffin... - Open your mouth ! 00:38:31.187 --> 00:38:34.418 Open it ! 00:38:37.027 --> 00:38:40.064 You can shut up. Hurry up ! 00:39:01.067 --> 00:39:02.420 Don't ! 00:39:40.387 --> 00:39:41.979 lt's a fake gun. 00:39:42.387 --> 00:39:45.185 Don't cry ! 00:39:59.987 --> 00:40:03.536 Thanks, guys. For the roast, too ! 00:40:03.627 --> 00:40:06.983 - Don't mention it, Beppe. - Without your help, l... 00:40:07.067 --> 00:40:12.619 Beppe, cheer up ! Everything will be fine. 00:40:12.707 --> 00:40:15.938 You are a smart boy, l can tell. 00:40:16.387 --> 00:40:17.740 How ? 00:40:18.787 --> 00:40:25.545 Beppe, it's just a stock phrase, don't analyze every word. 00:40:25.627 --> 00:40:29.859 You should give up burglary, it's not your cup of tea. 00:40:29.947 --> 00:40:36.102 Find a job and a nice girlfriend, and you'll be fine. 00:40:36.187 --> 00:40:39.497 lt's easier said than done. Girls ! 00:40:39.587 --> 00:40:44.661 Take that girl at your place, the blonde with the necklace. 00:40:44.747 --> 00:40:48.979 - Daniela ? - Yes. She gave me her number but what shall l do ? 00:40:49.067 --> 00:40:52.139 - She gave you her number ? - Yes, but... 00:40:52.227 --> 00:40:56.698 l can't call her and say: ''Hi, l'm the burglar, remember ?'' 00:40:56.787 --> 00:41:00.416 - What number did she give you ? - Her phone number. 00:41:00.507 --> 00:41:05.376 - But l'm ashamed to call her. - Why did she ? 00:41:05.467 --> 00:41:08.425 - Let's go, Giacomino. Bye, Beppe. - Bye. 00:41:09.227 --> 00:41:15.496 - ls there a problem ? - Giacomino is a bit screwed up. 00:41:16.627 --> 00:41:21.223 - Well, thanks again. - Bye. - Maybe l'll call you. - Sure. 00:41:21.307 --> 00:41:25.698 - Ok ? Goodnight. - Hey, mate, that's my bicycle. 00:41:25.787 --> 00:41:28.904 - Sorry, l... - Yes, whatever. - l was just... 00:41:28.987 --> 00:41:34.186 You grew fond of it, right ? Try and quit old habits, ok ? 00:41:39.907 --> 00:41:47.018 Tell me the truth. Do you think Beppe is more attractive than me ? 00:41:48.307 --> 00:41:51.219 Giacomino, don't analyze too much. 00:41:51.307 --> 00:41:55.346 Anyway, Daniela is out of your league. 00:41:55.867 --> 00:42:01.703 - Why ? - She's got savoir faire, she belongs to the noblesse. 00:42:01.787 --> 00:42:04.620 Live and let live. 00:42:07.067 --> 00:42:09.183 What a shitty year ! 00:42:11.827 --> 00:42:17.106 Do you think the ring l swallowed will cause me trouble ? 00:42:17.187 --> 00:42:21.226 No, just eat a bar of soap and it will slip down. 00:42:21.307 --> 00:42:27.018 - l feel weird. - You are weird, Giovanni, it's not the ring. 00:42:27.107 --> 00:42:32.465 No, Aldo, my mouth is dry. l feel as if it had dried up. 00:42:32.547 --> 00:42:35.903 - What ? - My mouth dried up. 00:42:35.987 --> 00:42:42.176 Jeez ! He's about to cry, your mouth's dry. Cheer up, will ya ! 00:42:44.187 --> 00:42:49.500 - Right, guys, what about a Championship Cup ? - All right. 00:43:09.787 --> 00:43:14.338 - Stop it, Giacomo ! - God, you're so touchy ! 00:43:14.427 --> 00:43:16.543 Mr Touchy gets two free throws. 00:43:23.147 --> 00:43:25.058 Sweet ! 00:43:25.547 --> 00:43:27.663 l'll score again. 00:43:32.507 --> 00:43:35.897 - l stopped you. - You can't stop a free throw. 00:43:35.987 --> 00:43:38.865 - Go get the ball. - You go. - l'll go. 00:43:49.307 --> 00:43:53.061 Can you give us the ball ? We're leaving. 00:43:54.467 --> 00:43:57.061 Send constables Briosca and Rezzoli. 00:44:23.787 --> 00:44:25.743 Get it ! 00:45:00.307 --> 00:45:01.979 Get out of here ! 00:45:07.827 --> 00:45:13.060 Some vandals damaged a statue in the square. Nose and ear. 00:45:14.547 --> 00:45:19.860 - Did you find the criminals ? - No, it was a kids' gang. 00:45:19.947 --> 00:45:24.862 l can't fire my gun at night, can l ? What criminals ! 00:45:24.947 --> 00:45:28.781 Right, write down a report tomorrow. Goodnight. 00:45:28.867 --> 00:45:32.701 - Goodnight. - Thank goodness ! - lt's fine. 00:45:34.587 --> 00:45:40.537 - What's her name again ? - Marina. She's fantastic. 00:45:40.627 --> 00:45:45.337 l don't know what's happening to me, l feel weird... 00:45:45.427 --> 00:45:49.022 When l met her l wasn't impressed, 00:45:49.107 --> 00:45:54.135 but today she opened the door and dazzled me with her blue eyes. 00:45:54.227 --> 00:45:57.981 lt's like when you see a car parked out of a space. 00:45:58.067 --> 00:46:04.017 The first time you don't care, the second time you fine the guy. 00:46:04.667 --> 00:46:08.216 Anyway, l feel full of energy. 00:46:08.307 --> 00:46:13.665 l'd love to go to her place, throw coppers at her window, 00:46:13.747 --> 00:46:18.218 serenade her, just to impress her, do you understand ? 00:46:19.347 --> 00:46:23.340 - Serenade her ? - Yes. - Where does she live ? 00:46:23.707 --> 00:46:27.905 - Via Guarrazzi. - What number ? - Number 2. Why ? 00:46:29.227 --> 00:46:32.981 There's street cleaning, she wouldn't hear anything. 00:46:33.827 --> 00:46:36.421 A pity, it was a nice idea. 00:46:36.507 --> 00:46:40.420 - See you, Antonio. - We could play basket again. 00:46:40.507 --> 00:46:44.785 - Sure. - Change your route, they're doing maintenance works. 00:46:45.587 --> 00:46:47.259 Get lost ! 00:48:21.827 --> 00:48:25.024 1 5 SEPTEMBER 2000, 1 2:50PM 00:48:31.107 --> 00:48:32.938 What kind of sandwiches do you have ? 00:48:33.027 --> 00:48:39.023 - Ham, cheese, cheese and ham... - Smoked or cooked ? - Cooked ham. 00:48:39.107 --> 00:48:42.497 - l don't like it. What about cheese ? - Just cheese. 00:48:42.587 --> 00:48:48.423 Well, there are different sorts of cheese: cheddar, mozzarella... 00:48:48.507 --> 00:48:53.706 - l got up at 6 this morning. - l got up at 5. 00:48:53.787 --> 00:48:56.460 When did you go to bed ? 00:48:56.547 --> 00:49:01.143 - Around eleven, half past eleven, midnight. - l went to bed at 2am. 00:49:02.347 --> 00:49:06.340 - Well, cheese sandwich, then. - Right. - l'm sorry. 00:49:08.427 --> 00:49:10.418 Can you warm it up a bit ? 00:49:11.427 --> 00:49:12.780 Sure ! 00:49:14.627 --> 00:49:16.538 lt will take half an hour. 00:49:17.587 --> 00:49:20.545 - Forget that. - Are you sure ? - Yes. 00:49:20.627 --> 00:49:24.142 Two sandwiches, a Coke and a bottle of sparkling water. 00:49:24.227 --> 00:49:27.663 - l'll treat this gentleman here. - No, l'll pay for my sandwich. 00:49:27.747 --> 00:49:31.376 - Come on, l'll treat you. - l don't want you to. 00:49:31.467 --> 00:49:35.346 - How much is it ? - 4500 lira. - Right. 00:49:37.307 --> 00:49:41.061 - Don't you have the money ? - l need to find a cash point. 00:49:41.147 --> 00:49:44.025 - l'll pay for it. - l don't want you to. 00:49:44.107 --> 00:49:47.497 - You'll pay me back. - l'm not hungry any more. 00:49:47.587 --> 00:49:53.298 - Do you know what time l got up ? - At six. Forget the sandwich. 00:49:53.387 --> 00:49:56.777 - l'll take it. - l'm not eating it. - Whatever. 00:49:56.867 --> 00:50:01.736 - How much is that ? - 21.200 lira. - Here. 00:50:02.347 --> 00:50:03.939 Your sandwich ! 00:50:21.347 --> 00:50:23.303 l'll pay you back ! 00:50:24.507 --> 00:50:26.099 Promise. 00:50:27.347 --> 00:50:29.338 What about some Coke ? 00:50:29.427 --> 00:50:34.581 - No, thanks, l'm fine. - Come on. - Don't insist. 00:50:37.027 --> 00:50:39.780 Well, maybe l'll have just a sip. 00:50:45.787 --> 00:50:47.698 lt's nice, refreshing ! 00:50:51.387 --> 00:50:54.299 lt just slipped down my throat, thanks. 00:51:03.867 --> 00:51:06.779 After that fateful dinner party, things got better and better. 00:51:06.867 --> 00:51:11.019 Giovanni gave Marina the ring, but l don't know how he managed. 00:51:11.107 --> 00:51:15.305 Anyway, they were an item and billed and cooed all the time. 00:51:31.387 --> 00:51:35.175 Things were getting serious, Giovanni had even bought a car. 00:51:35.267 --> 00:51:40.295 For romantic trips. And he had taken a decision. 00:51:40.387 --> 00:51:42.343 He would ask Marina to move in with him. 00:51:53.587 --> 00:51:59.139 Lucky people ! l had jilted Silvana but felt emptied. 00:51:59.227 --> 00:52:04.984 So l took refuge in silence, meditation and introspection. 00:52:05.067 --> 00:52:11.097 lf you feel down, treat yourself to a Zen course at a disco ! 00:52:22.467 --> 00:52:25.140 We had chosen the play ! 00:52:25.227 --> 00:52:29.698 Giacomo had talked us into staging ''Cyrano de Bergerac''. 00:52:30.227 --> 00:52:34.778 We have the play, we have the posters. 00:52:34.867 --> 00:52:39.145 - Here. - Have a look...Sweet ! - Just printed. 00:52:41.947 --> 00:52:45.986 Moron, Cyrano is with C not with S ! 00:52:46.067 --> 00:52:49.139 - You wrote Bergerac with K ! - He's not Diabolik, is he ? 00:52:49.227 --> 00:52:51.183 You're useless ! 00:52:51.347 --> 00:52:54.419 We were rehearsing like crazy. 00:52:54.507 --> 00:52:57.544 We had found the female protagonist, Francesca. 00:52:57.627 --> 00:53:01.700 lt was all like a dream. But it soon turned into nightmare. 00:53:01.787 --> 00:53:04.142 A bad one ! 00:53:04.867 --> 00:53:09.065 - Fuck you ! - Francesca ! - Fuck you, too ! 00:53:14.467 --> 00:53:15.456 Aldo ! 00:53:16.147 --> 00:53:18.058 Aldo ! 00:53:18.427 --> 00:53:21.339 - What did you do now, huh ? - What ? 00:53:21.427 --> 00:53:25.579 - We've just seen Francesca. What did you do ? - Nothing. 00:53:25.987 --> 00:53:29.582 Look, smartie, you didn't come on to her, did you ? 00:53:29.667 --> 00:53:31.623 - No. - Be honest. 00:53:32.547 --> 00:53:35.584 - Yes. - She caught you with another girl, didn't she ? 00:53:35.667 --> 00:53:38.818 - No. - Be honest ! - Yes ! 00:53:38.907 --> 00:53:43.059 Congrats ! You're the Asshole of the Year ! 00:53:44.267 --> 00:53:48.943 - There's only one thing to do. - What ? - Call Silvana. 00:53:49.027 --> 00:53:53.384 - Are you kidding ? Not her ! - She knows the part. 00:53:53.467 --> 00:53:58.257 - You can't do this to me ! - You screwed up, now you pay. 00:53:58.347 --> 00:54:02.226 - Hang on a minute, l have an idea. - Which is ? 00:54:02.307 --> 00:54:04.184 Let's organize an audition. 00:54:04.267 --> 00:54:06.906 - What's your name ? - Elena Anselmi. 00:54:06.987 --> 00:54:08.705 - Where are you from ? - Milan. 00:54:08.787 --> 00:54:12.063 l assume you're a professional actress. 00:54:12.147 --> 00:54:14.536 l am. What about you ? 00:54:16.107 --> 00:54:19.736 The play is ''Cyrano de Bergerac''. 00:54:19.827 --> 00:54:23.456 Bergerac is the name of the playwright. 00:54:32.387 --> 00:54:35.106 l assume you're a professional actress. 00:54:35.187 --> 00:54:43.185 - l worked with Peter Brook. - Fancy ! The great Peter Brook ! 00:54:43.827 --> 00:54:47.536 My goodness, l had no idea he was a theatre director as well. 00:54:53.747 --> 00:54:57.217 - Let me do the talking ! - What did l say ? 00:54:57.307 --> 00:54:59.946 Aldo, let him do the talking ! 00:55:02.187 --> 00:55:05.259 l'm sure you know who Cyrano is. 00:55:05.347 --> 00:55:09.579 l'll play Cyrano, he is a romantic character. 00:55:09.947 --> 00:55:13.701 He's in love with Roxane, but he's ashamed of his nose. 00:55:13.787 --> 00:55:19.657 He helps Christian, who's handsome but stupid, to win Roxane over. 00:55:19.747 --> 00:55:23.899 - Who's playing Christian ? - l'm playing Christian the Fair. 00:55:23.987 --> 00:55:28.185 - Be serious, who's Christian ? - l'll be Christian the Fair. 00:55:36.467 --> 00:55:39.777 - What ? - l didn't say anything ! 00:55:40.747 --> 00:55:44.740 ...He's so ashamed of his nose that he gives up his love. 00:55:44.827 --> 00:55:49.378 He helps Christian, who's handsome but stupid, to win Roxane over. 00:55:49.467 --> 00:55:52.220 l'm playing Christian the Stupid. 00:55:52.907 --> 00:55:57.219 - The scenery will be minimalist. - Haven't we met ? 00:55:58.067 --> 00:56:02.345 - l don't think so. - You are the department store mime ! 00:56:02.427 --> 00:56:03.940 - Yes. - Really ? 00:56:04.027 --> 00:56:06.018 l've been working there for a year. 00:56:10.787 --> 00:56:12.584 What's wrong ? 00:56:12.667 --> 00:56:16.137 Giovanni, you don't need to say everything. 00:56:17.787 --> 00:56:20.301 lt's a Kafkaesque situation. 00:56:22.027 --> 00:56:25.861 Who's this guy Kafkaesque, by the way ? 00:56:28.067 --> 00:56:31.537 We have planned the staging to the last detail. 00:56:31.627 --> 00:56:37.224 The scenery is very important, it's our signature style. 00:56:38.187 --> 00:56:40.576 ''Sobriety above all'', is our motto. 00:56:40.667 --> 00:56:44.626 Giacomo, look ! The pen looks as soft as rubber. 00:56:48.507 --> 00:56:52.625 Why don't you go to a supermarket and mime a cactus ? 00:56:52.707 --> 00:56:54.663 Sorry. 00:57:16.347 --> 00:57:18.303 So, what do you think ? 00:57:20.027 --> 00:57:21.938 When do we start ? 00:57:22.027 --> 00:57:25.781 The staging of ''Cyrano'' got off to a bad start. 00:57:25.867 --> 00:57:31.180 lf you think that was bad, well... the worse was still to come ! 00:57:31.267 --> 00:57:34.657 For love can be such a bastard ! 00:57:35.307 --> 00:57:37.263 Call it fear but... 00:57:37.587 --> 00:57:42.581 Moving in together seems a rash decision to me. 00:57:43.147 --> 00:57:47.857 We need to sign for the flat. We were lucky to find it. 00:57:48.827 --> 00:57:51.057 lt's perfect, it just needs decorating. 00:57:52.107 --> 00:57:53.460 l wouldn't rash things. 00:57:54.147 --> 00:57:55.819 The bathroom is huge. 00:57:55.907 --> 00:57:59.502 The window looks out on the stairs, though. 00:57:59.587 --> 00:58:03.626 Anyway, if you're in the bathroom you're not on the stairs, right ? 00:58:04.587 --> 00:58:10.184 You know, it's a matter of space, of individual habits... 00:58:10.547 --> 00:58:14.176 We can put my mum's furniture in the dining room. 00:58:14.267 --> 00:58:19.136 And in the kitchen as well. Can you ask for anything more ? 00:58:19.907 --> 00:58:24.856 l have this nightmare: my parents watching TV and keeping silent. 00:58:24.947 --> 00:58:27.097 And they loved each other ! 00:58:29.907 --> 00:58:31.499 What do you think ? 00:58:34.627 --> 00:58:37.903 Well, maybe l shouldn't say that, but... 00:58:37.987 --> 00:58:39.943 lf you are so doubtful... 00:58:40.467 --> 00:58:43.664 Either you move in with him or you dump him. 00:58:46.067 --> 00:58:51.016 Maybe l shouldn't say that... but your mum's furniture sucks ! 00:58:52.347 --> 00:58:55.783 Giacomo, you couldn't tell a plane from a steam iron. 00:58:55.867 --> 00:58:59.576 You don't need to be a carpenter to appraise furniture. 00:58:59.667 --> 00:59:04.024 - The know-how is the key, mate. - What the fuck are you saying ? 00:59:04.107 --> 00:59:06.382 So is life, Giacomo. 01:00:36.707 --> 01:00:38.663 - Giovanni ! - Giovanni... 01:00:42.707 --> 01:00:45.267 What did she say exactly ? 01:00:45.867 --> 01:00:49.621 Exactly ? She needs to think it over. 01:00:50.027 --> 01:00:52.257 Where is she now ? 01:00:52.707 --> 01:00:56.939 - Where is she now ? ln Frankfurt. - Frankfurt ? 01:00:57.027 --> 01:01:03.899 lt's her job, you know. She said she needed a break. 01:01:04.907 --> 01:01:07.546 ln Frankfurt ? 01:01:07.627 --> 01:01:12.223 l can tell what she's up to in Frankfurt, the City of Vice ! 01:01:13.547 --> 01:01:16.937 l bet she told him she needs to be alone to think. 01:01:17.027 --> 01:01:21.543 She said she wants to think, she needs to be alone. 01:01:21.627 --> 01:01:24.187 Well, it was the other way round. 01:01:24.267 --> 01:01:29.136 - lt's normal in a relationship... - Yes, the relationship. 01:01:29.227 --> 01:01:33.584 - Giovanni, she didn't mean that. - She didn't mean that. 01:01:34.747 --> 01:01:40.697 Don't repeat every word l say ! One asks, the other replies ! 01:01:40.787 --> 01:01:43.506 Replies. 01:01:44.747 --> 01:01:47.580 You're good at jilting girls... 01:01:47.667 --> 01:01:51.376 But as couples' counselor you suck ! Leave it to me. 01:01:58.227 --> 01:02:00.695 Don't worry, we'll sort this out. 01:02:02.907 --> 01:02:06.297 Giovannino, what did you say her ? 01:02:06.387 --> 01:02:09.743 Say ''to'' her, mind your grammar ! 01:02:09.827 --> 01:02:13.615 Giacomino, l'll hit you with a shovel in a minute. 01:02:14.667 --> 01:02:17.056 What did you say ''to'' her ? 01:02:17.147 --> 01:02:23.825 l stayed silent, l was miming. l didn't know what to say, anyway. 01:02:23.907 --> 01:02:27.456 - She did the talking and you were mum ? - Yes. 01:02:27.547 --> 01:02:32.541 Bloody hell, she wanted you to... Don't you know women, yet ? 01:02:32.627 --> 01:02:36.176 - You're a first-class asshole ! - You reckon ? - l reckon. 01:02:36.267 --> 01:02:41.466 Now go and get the first flight to St. Petersburg, understood ? 01:02:41.547 --> 01:02:44.141 lt's Frankfurt, anyway. 01:02:44.227 --> 01:02:48.618 Giacomino, l'll use the shovel to kill you and then to bury you ! 01:02:48.707 --> 01:02:51.983 - Geography is important. - Your health is, too. 01:02:52.067 --> 01:02:56.185 - Are you still here ? Hurry up ! - l don't think l should. 01:02:56.267 --> 01:02:59.942 - He's afraid of flying. - What ? 01:03:00.467 --> 01:03:04.176 - You are afraid of flying ! - He's terrified. 01:03:04.267 --> 01:03:08.499 lt's not that. Anyway, l'm working as a mime tomorrow. 01:03:08.587 --> 01:03:12.739 l can't believe my ears ! l could stand in for you, 01:03:12.827 --> 01:03:15.785 but your costume is too tight and my family jewels show. 01:03:15.867 --> 01:03:20.418 - But Giacomino can do it ! - Him ? - Sure, why not ? 01:03:20.507 --> 01:03:25.501 l can mime touching a wall, climbing stairs... 01:03:25.587 --> 01:03:28.465 - Don't. - A flower blooming, pulling a rope... 01:03:28.547 --> 01:03:30.902 - Don't do that. - And that one. - Which one ? 01:03:30.987 --> 01:03:34.616 - The skater. - He did it. - Ok, l'll stay. 01:03:34.707 --> 01:03:39.383 l would be worried too, but since he has to stand still... 01:03:41.987 --> 01:03:44.262 Shall l go ? l'm going. 01:03:50.307 --> 01:03:52.901 - Thank you. - lt's all right. 01:04:11.279 --> 01:04:14.157 Excuse me, which floor is men's underwear ? 01:04:16.959 --> 01:04:21.475 - No idea, try second floor. - Thanks. - You're welcome. 01:04:24.999 --> 01:04:28.912 - What's wrong with you ? - Nothing. - Don't answer. 01:04:28.999 --> 01:04:33.595 - You asked me... - Stand still. - But... - And shut up. 01:04:33.679 --> 01:04:35.829 - Didn't your friend tell you ? - He did, but... 01:04:35.919 --> 01:04:41.277 - Stand still ! Like this. - Keep your hands off me, please ! 01:04:41.359 --> 01:04:45.398 You must stand still no matter what happens, ok ? 01:04:45.479 --> 01:04:48.630 Even if a client asks you something, ok ? 01:04:48.719 --> 01:04:52.917 - He looked for underwear... - And you stay still and quiet ! 01:04:52.999 --> 01:04:54.955 - All the time ? - Yes. 01:04:55.039 --> 01:04:57.428 - Like l'm doing now ? - Do you understand now ? 01:04:57.519 --> 01:05:01.273 - l'm not stupid. - Let's see if you can stand still. 01:05:03.279 --> 01:05:08.194 That's our game, you see ? They talk to you, you don't speak. 01:05:08.279 --> 01:05:11.794 Our customers want this, and we give this them. 01:05:11.879 --> 01:05:16.953 We give this ''to'' them. You know, grammar rules are important. 01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:21.510 - Out ! - Easy... - Security ! Take him out ! 01:05:23.959 --> 01:05:25.790 Put me down ! 01:05:26.479 --> 01:05:28.788 Tell your friend he's fired ! 01:05:31.839 --> 01:05:34.990 She's not in Frankfurt, as far as l know. 01:05:35.079 --> 01:05:40.517 - She's not here ? - She asked a colleague to stand in for her. 01:05:42.439 --> 01:05:47.115 - Hang on a minute, come on... - Go, sod off ! 01:05:47.199 --> 01:05:48.996 Come on, go ! 01:05:49.079 --> 01:05:53.675 You can't treat me like that ! l was trying to do my job ! 01:05:54.039 --> 01:05:55.711 Giovanni ? 01:05:55.799 --> 01:05:58.154 - Marina ! What...? - Giacomo ! 01:05:58.239 --> 01:06:00.195 Weren't you in Frankfurt ? 01:06:01.439 --> 01:06:05.398 lt's a long story. But what are you doing here ? 01:06:05.479 --> 01:06:08.789 - l had to stand in for Giovanni. - Why ? 01:06:09.239 --> 01:06:12.311 He went to Frankfurt to look for you ! 01:06:13.999 --> 01:06:19.073 Gosh, what a mess ! l came here to talk to him. 01:06:19.159 --> 01:06:23.357 - What happened to you ? - l argued with the manager... 01:06:23.439 --> 01:06:27.114 Have you heard about the inclined plane theory ? l'll tell you. 01:06:27.199 --> 01:06:30.396 lf you put a small ball on top of an inclined plane, 01:06:30.479 --> 01:06:35.189 the ball slides down, going faster and faster. 01:06:35.279 --> 01:06:36.951 lt's impossible to stop it. 01:06:44.079 --> 01:06:47.913 Here they are: heart-broken girl who needs to talk, 01:06:47.999 --> 01:06:51.036 meets well-meaning, trusted friend. 01:06:51.119 --> 01:06:56.716 - How do you think it will end ? - Can we talk ? - Say no ! 01:07:03.119 --> 01:07:05.349 Just relax and then you'll see... 01:07:08.519 --> 01:07:12.068 l'm going that way. 01:07:12.559 --> 01:07:15.869 - l can walk you. - Say no ! - All right ! 01:07:21.119 --> 01:07:22.791 lsn't this your stop ? 01:07:23.319 --> 01:07:25.833 Give me your hand. 01:07:48.759 --> 01:07:50.477 Turn your face round. 01:08:18.039 --> 01:08:20.075 But people are not small balls. 01:08:20.159 --> 01:08:23.788 Just one look, a few words can change the course of events. 01:08:23.879 --> 01:08:28.907 lt's a pity Giacomino is a puppet in the hands of fate ! 01:09:16.919 --> 01:09:18.272 Thank you. 01:09:19.399 --> 01:09:22.596 You're welcome, just not so tight ! 01:09:24.799 --> 01:09:28.997 l don't know how it could happen. lt just happened. 01:09:29.079 --> 01:09:33.516 - You know how these things go. - No, l don't ! 01:09:33.599 --> 01:09:36.591 Anyway, do you really have to tell him ? 01:09:36.679 --> 01:09:38.909 - Of course ! - Are you sure ? - Yes. 01:09:38.999 --> 01:09:44.153 - Wait after the opening night. - The sense of guilt kills me ! 01:09:44.239 --> 01:09:49.029 Jeez, now you have a conscience ! You could have told him yesterday. 01:09:49.119 --> 01:09:51.952 l had to tell him he's been sacked. 01:09:52.039 --> 01:09:57.113 - l don't believe my ears ! He's been... - ..sacked. 01:09:57.199 --> 01:10:01.989 - Shit ! Why ? - l argued with the manager. 01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:06.834 ls it Cock-up Day ? Girlfriend and job in one go ! 01:10:06.919 --> 01:10:09.114 Go run his mum over... 01:10:09.199 --> 01:10:12.509 - And be done with it. - Thanks ! - Don't mention it. 01:10:12.599 --> 01:10:17.878 And, Giacomino ? lf l ask you to do me a favor, don't do it ! 01:10:18.279 --> 01:10:21.077 Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to start. 01:10:21.159 --> 01:10:25.118 Let the trumpets play and the actors play their part. 01:10:26.519 --> 01:10:30.307 Christian, my friend ! Come, embrace ! 01:10:30.399 --> 01:10:36.156 Cyrano, what news ? No, l can't do it. 01:10:37.039 --> 01:10:40.793 You must concentrate, the opening night is in five days ! 01:10:40.879 --> 01:10:45.748 l looked for her everywhere, nobody knows where she is. 01:10:47.799 --> 01:10:49.312 What bad luck ! 01:10:49.399 --> 01:10:53.756 Paola told me she looked for me at the department store. 01:10:53.839 --> 01:10:58.788 l was in Frankfurt and she was at the department store ! Gosh ! 01:10:58.879 --> 01:11:01.074 Haven't you seen her ? 01:11:01.159 --> 01:11:04.117 - Who ? - Well, Marina ! 01:11:04.839 --> 01:11:10.152 - No. - She must have come after they threw you out. 01:11:10.239 --> 01:11:15.108 - She must have. - Maybe she didn't come at all. - Maybe. 01:11:15.199 --> 01:11:19.511 Let's start again, Giacomino. ''Christian, my friend...'' 01:11:21.359 --> 01:11:23.668 ''Christian, my friend...'' 01:11:24.719 --> 01:11:27.108 Well, actually, l saw her. 01:11:27.999 --> 01:11:31.992 - What ? - She was looking for you. 01:11:32.519 --> 01:11:37.229 - Why didn't you tell me ? - l thought it better not to. 01:11:37.319 --> 01:11:42.916 You had a lot on your mind, l thought l'd told you later. 01:11:42.999 --> 01:11:46.071 Later my ass ! What did she say ? 01:11:46.159 --> 01:11:52.632 Nothing special, you weren't there so she left. 01:11:53.919 --> 01:11:57.548 Come on, Giacomino. ''Christian, my friend...'' 01:12:02.839 --> 01:12:04.795 Well, we talked, a little. 01:12:05.199 --> 01:12:06.712 Jeez ! 01:12:07.119 --> 01:12:11.715 What's with you Giacomo ? Have you lost your tongue ? 01:12:11.799 --> 01:12:16.953 - Tell me what she said ! - Nothing, really ! 01:12:17.039 --> 01:12:22.272 We went to a cafe, she had some tea, l had a coffee... 01:12:22.359 --> 01:12:27.114 l don't give a shit about it ! Just tell me what she said ! 01:12:27.199 --> 01:12:30.111 Will you turn that bloody music off ? 01:12:31.359 --> 01:12:34.351 - So ? - Calm down... 01:12:34.439 --> 01:12:38.990 You know, we didn't have much of a conversation. 01:12:39.079 --> 01:12:44.278 - l walked her home, and then... - And then ? 01:12:45.559 --> 01:12:49.711 Nothing, it's all forgotten. 01:12:49.799 --> 01:12:52.108 What's forgotten, Giacomo ? 01:12:53.919 --> 01:12:57.309 Well Jo... We kissed. 01:13:05.439 --> 01:13:07.828 Jo, Jo ! 01:13:07.919 --> 01:13:12.231 Turn him ! Make up your mind, we can't break him in two pieces ! 01:13:12.319 --> 01:13:15.834 l can't turn him, wait, let him breathe. 01:13:16.279 --> 01:13:20.318 Good heavens, Giacomino, what did you do ? Jo, come round ! 01:13:20.399 --> 01:13:23.471 Hopefully he's lost his memory. 01:13:23.559 --> 01:13:27.791 He's coming round ! Come on, Giovanni. 01:13:27.879 --> 01:13:31.269 lt was just a nightmare, how are you ? 01:13:42.839 --> 01:13:46.149 - l was in Frankfurt and you kissed her ! - Yes, but... 01:13:46.239 --> 01:13:51.632 Shut up ! l was in Frankfurt and you kissed her, l hate you ! 01:13:51.719 --> 01:13:56.429 - l can explain... - What ? You're a bastard ! 01:13:56.519 --> 01:13:59.591 l'm through with you. 01:13:59.679 --> 01:14:03.558 - lt was just a kiss. - Mind your business, will you ? 01:14:03.639 --> 01:14:08.838 A kiss... is just a rose-dot on the 'i' of 'Frankfurt'. 01:14:09.199 --> 01:14:12.828 - Are you taking the piss ? - Sorry, l'm confused. 01:14:12.919 --> 01:14:16.309 - You knew and you didn't tell me ! - l didn't know ! 01:14:16.399 --> 01:14:21.075 You made me go to Frankfurt so he could have a free hand. 01:14:21.159 --> 01:14:23.150 lt's all a misunderstanding, you're angry... 01:14:23.239 --> 01:14:25.753 You make me sick ! Both of you ! 01:14:25.839 --> 01:14:29.798 - No, please, calm down. - Shut up ! Just shut up ! 01:14:29.879 --> 01:14:35.511 You're an opportunistic parasite who scrounges a living ! 01:14:35.599 --> 01:14:41.834 You know what ? Go to my store, get your stuff and move out ! 01:14:41.919 --> 01:14:44.308 The fun is over ! 01:14:46.039 --> 01:14:49.714 - And the play ? - The play, you said ? 01:14:49.799 --> 01:14:55.032 Look what l'm doing to your play ! 01:14:59.239 --> 01:15:01.628 Your bloody play ! 01:15:18.599 --> 01:15:20.555 Please, leave it. 01:15:24.119 --> 01:15:26.349 Go, Giacomino, leave me alone. 01:17:07.159 --> 01:17:09.309 Excuse me, where's the hospital ? 01:17:24.039 --> 01:17:28.430 - Excuse me... - l'm busy, ask the reception. 01:17:32.199 --> 01:17:34.155 - Excuse me. - Yes ? 01:17:34.239 --> 01:17:38.994 - We're here for Aldo Baglio. - Who ? - Aldo Baglio. 01:17:39.079 --> 01:17:41.035 Leave it to me. 01:17:43.079 --> 01:17:47.834 - Whom are you looking for ? - Aldo Baglio, he should be here. 01:17:47.919 --> 01:17:54.518 - Baglio...you mean Pirandello ? - No. - He is a tall, bald guy. 01:17:54.599 --> 01:17:59.719 And he has a bee in his bonnet about acting. That's Pirandello ! 01:17:59.799 --> 01:18:01.994 Where can we find him ? 01:18:02.079 --> 01:18:06.834 We discharged him. We couldn't do much else for him. 01:18:06.919 --> 01:18:12.073 - Why, is he seriously ill ? - Well...are you his relatives ? 01:18:12.159 --> 01:18:15.231 - No, but... - Then l can say no more. 01:18:15.319 --> 01:18:18.117 l'm family ! 01:18:19.959 --> 01:18:25.238 l'm col ceather, his aul lad is my aul one's brathair. 01:18:25.319 --> 01:18:32.475 - What ? - Me aul one, me mathair, he's me first cousin. 01:18:35.159 --> 01:18:38.310 - Will you stop that ? - Yes. 01:18:48.039 --> 01:18:50.553 - Pretty, wasn't she ? - Who ? 01:18:50.639 --> 01:18:54.996 - The nurse. - That's not why we're here. 01:18:55.079 --> 01:18:58.958 - l know. - You know we're here for another reason. 01:18:59.039 --> 01:19:01.837 l know, you don't need to tell me. 01:19:08.239 --> 01:19:10.195 lt must be here. 01:19:20.799 --> 01:19:23.438 What sort of place is that ? 01:19:29.559 --> 01:19:32.676 - Who's that ? - We're here for Aldo Baglio. 01:19:33.199 --> 01:19:37.431 You must be his friends from Milan ! Come on in ! 01:19:37.519 --> 01:19:41.717 Aldo will be happy to see you. lf he recognizes you... 01:19:44.759 --> 01:19:50.516 St Antony Abbot ! Thanks for taking me to Heaven. 01:19:51.319 --> 01:19:55.597 lt's so bright and quiet here ! 01:19:56.439 --> 01:20:02.389 St Antony Abbot ! Are you the cousin of St Antony of Padua ? 01:20:02.479 --> 01:20:08.634 - Aldo ! Do you recognize me ? - Yes, St Antony ? 01:20:08.719 --> 01:20:14.635 - No, l'm... - St Antony ! - lt's Giacomino ! - Giacomino ? 01:20:14.719 --> 01:20:20.874 What ? You died before l did ! Did you hit your head too ? 01:20:20.959 --> 01:20:25.430 - No, we... - Aldo, we've come to see you. 01:20:25.519 --> 01:20:29.307 Marina, it's so nice to see you ! 01:20:30.879 --> 01:20:35.316 - Who's that old man behind you ? - lt's me, Giovanni ! 01:20:35.399 --> 01:20:40.075 - Jeez, you look awful ! - He doesn't recognize me. 01:20:40.159 --> 01:20:43.390 lf you're here, l must be dying ! 01:20:43.479 --> 01:20:48.837 - Aldo, don't say that ! - Auntie Caterina ! 01:20:49.599 --> 01:20:53.831 l want some sparky water ! Down my throttle... 01:20:53.919 --> 01:20:57.912 - Sparky water ! - Calm down. - Here it comes. 01:20:57.999 --> 01:21:00.467 - Sparky water ! - Yes, calm down. 01:21:00.559 --> 01:21:05.314 How nice is to have you here ! You are friends again ! 01:21:05.399 --> 01:21:09.950 - Aren't you ? - Sure, Aldo. - That's great ! 01:21:10.039 --> 01:21:12.712 - Here's your water. - Here it comes. 01:21:12.799 --> 01:21:16.109 - There you go. - Water ! 01:21:16.199 --> 01:21:19.748 - Does it spark ? - Sure it does. - Calm down. 01:21:19.839 --> 01:21:22.194 Sparky water, sparky water. 01:21:25.119 --> 01:21:27.553 l can't bear to look at him ! 01:21:27.639 --> 01:21:33.794 - Leave it to me. There you go. - Sparky water. - Here. 01:21:33.879 --> 01:21:36.109 Down my throttle ! 01:21:37.079 --> 01:21:40.754 - Can't we open the window ? - Better not to. 01:21:40.839 --> 01:21:44.149 The doctor said the light bother him. 01:21:45.799 --> 01:21:48.791 But, madam, what happened ? 01:21:48.879 --> 01:21:53.077 He had an accident by chance. Hit his head, woke up like that. 01:21:53.159 --> 01:21:57.914 He don't eat, don't sleep, just drink sparky water. 01:21:57.999 --> 01:22:01.309 - What did the doctor say ? - Doctors my foot ! 01:22:02.319 --> 01:22:06.835 l hope St. Bartholomew come soon on his horse. 01:22:06.919 --> 01:22:07.954 Let's hope so. 01:22:08.039 --> 01:22:12.078 He carry him away and put him out of his misery. 01:22:12.159 --> 01:22:17.233 - Madam, try and be optimistic ! - l'm being optimistic. 01:22:17.319 --> 01:22:19.708 - Are you ? - Of course ! 01:22:19.799 --> 01:22:21.994 - My friends ! - Yes, Aldo ? - What ? 01:22:22.079 --> 01:22:27.756 - Do you know wh... - What ? - What did you say ? - Like... 01:22:27.839 --> 01:22:32.594 - Like what ? - Aldo, calm down. - Speak slowly. 01:22:32.679 --> 01:22:36.797 - Do you know what l'd like to do ? - What ? 01:22:38.079 --> 01:22:41.913 Eating Uncle Toto's ''arancini'' with you. 01:22:42.639 --> 01:22:47.633 - They're scrumptious ! - Can you get up, Aldo ? 01:22:47.719 --> 01:22:51.268 - Shouldn't you stay in bed ? - No, l can get up. 01:22:51.359 --> 01:22:52.951 - Let us help you. - l can get up. 01:22:53.039 --> 01:22:57.669 - Let us help you ! - l can... no, l can't ! 01:22:57.759 --> 01:23:00.910 - You can't ? - No, l can't. - Don't move, Aldo. 01:23:00.999 --> 01:23:06.232 - l can get up. - Help him ! 01:23:06.319 --> 01:23:10.517 l have bedsores, l can't get up ! 01:23:10.599 --> 01:23:14.194 - l fancied arancini ! - We'll get them. 01:23:14.279 --> 01:23:17.396 - Would you do that ? - No problem. 01:23:17.479 --> 01:23:21.950 - Really ? - We're going. - l love you ! - Come on... 01:23:22.039 --> 01:23:23.870 - Thank you ! - We're off. 01:23:23.959 --> 01:23:29.909 - l'll keep him company. - Ok. - Marina, keep me company. - Sure. 01:23:31.119 --> 01:23:33.428 ls that old man our Giovanni ? 01:23:33.519 --> 01:23:37.478 - Where's Uncle Toto's ? - Round the corner. 01:23:37.839 --> 01:23:42.788 But Aldo stays here, so if St. Bartholomew comes... 01:23:47.839 --> 01:23:51.468 - ls this Uncle Toto's bar ? - Yes. 01:24:02.039 --> 01:24:05.349 Giovanni, l meant to tell you this ages ago. 01:24:05.439 --> 01:24:12.675 - What ? - Nothing happened with Marina, apart from that... 01:24:12.759 --> 01:24:18.117 - Forget that, Giacomo. - l just wanted to... - Leave it. 01:25:57.839 --> 01:25:59.989 Ladies and gentlemen on your seats you may stay. 01:26:00.079 --> 01:26:02.798 Let me introduce myself : l am the Play. 01:26:02.879 --> 01:26:04.835 Pirandello, you're a poet ! 01:26:05.439 --> 01:26:09.637 The Acts are my limbs made to delight queens and kings. 01:26:09.719 --> 01:26:14.918 My heart is called ''Plot'': people who love and who love not. 01:26:14.999 --> 01:26:20.357 My blood is what adds fuel to the Plot: a kiss or a duel. 01:26:20.439 --> 01:26:25.513 l feed on hand-clapping, l'm killed by bad acting. 01:26:25.599 --> 01:26:28.716 l am the Play and shall split into Acts, 01:26:28.799 --> 01:26:32.189 to tell you extraordinary facts 01:26:32.279 --> 01:26:35.157 about two knights, who know each other 01:26:35.239 --> 01:26:39.437 and a lady who likes one but loves the other. 01:26:39.519 --> 01:26:44.309 You'll learn about Cyrano's nose. You'd think it's made of putty. 01:26:44.399 --> 01:26:46.230 lt's indeed the actor's nose but don't tell him, he's ratty ! 01:26:48.959 --> 01:26:52.076 The other knight is young cadet Christian. 01:26:52.159 --> 01:26:56.994 He is handsome all right, but his style is pedestrian ! 01:26:57.559 --> 01:27:00.471 Use your imagination, this is fiction ! 01:27:00.559 --> 01:27:06.191 Both love Cyrano's cousin, Roxane, and long for her embrace. 01:27:06.279 --> 01:27:11.034 She loves Cyrano's soul and brains but likes Christian's face. 01:27:11.719 --> 01:27:15.428 My prologue ends there, let the Play begin ! 01:27:15.519 --> 01:27:19.956 l shall weave the Plot with care and embroider it while l spin. 01:27:20.039 --> 01:27:22.473 Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to start. 01:27:22.559 --> 01:27:26.438 Let the trumpets play and the actors play their part. 01:27:36.759 --> 01:27:40.718 Christian, my friend. Come, embrace ! 01:27:52.479 --> 01:27:55.516 Cyrano, what news ? Good or bad ? 01:27:56.119 --> 01:27:58.428 l saw Roxane. 01:27:58.519 --> 01:28:03.513 Doth she love me ? Say ! Doth she think me fair ? 01:28:40.959 --> 01:28:47.478 As Death draws near, l can see what my tombstone shall say of me: 01:28:47.559 --> 01:28:52.917 ''Here lies a metaphysician, rhymer, brawler and musician, 01:28:52.999 --> 01:28:55.388 famed for the duels he fought, 01:28:55.479 --> 01:28:59.677 who was everything, and yet was naught.'' 01:29:06.999 --> 01:29:11.470 Could a storyteller say more than the actors who play ? 01:29:11.559 --> 01:29:16.189 All l can do, l fear, is curtsy to you and disappear. 01:29:16.279 --> 01:29:21.307 Cyrano, before Roxane's eyes, opens his heart and then dies. 01:29:21.399 --> 01:29:26.029 Like Cyrano, l shall die soon. l am going to meet my doom. 01:29:26.119 --> 01:29:31.068 Like a flower, l was made to bloom for two hours and fade. 01:29:31.159 --> 01:29:37.951 l live for your applause and then l die, like a rose. 01:29:49.039 --> 01:29:52.349 l know, l know... l lied ! 01:29:52.439 --> 01:29:55.112 lt was Marina's idea to pretend l was dying. 01:29:55.199 --> 01:29:59.317 l wasn't happy about it. You know...touch wood ! 01:29:59.399 --> 01:30:03.631 Anyway, if l hadn't lied, those two would never have come. 01:30:03.719 --> 01:30:06.108 And l wouldn't be happy ! 01:30:06.199 --> 01:30:11.114 As my grandad used to say: a white lie is better than truth. 01:30:17.359 --> 01:30:22.228 That's all folks. But l bet you're curious ! 01:30:22.319 --> 01:30:26.597 l guess you want to know if we'll stage other plays, 01:30:26.679 --> 01:30:30.797 if we'll spoil everything again, 01:30:30.879 --> 01:30:33.951 if Marina and Giovanni will get together, 01:30:34.039 --> 01:30:37.793 if Giacomo will manage to kiss the pretty nurse. 01:30:38.599 --> 01:30:44.196 Well, l have no idea ! But, as my grandad used to say: 01:30:44.279 --> 01:30:47.191 Everything is possible... more or less. 01:30:50.159 --> 01:30:53.231 Personally, l don't know where l will end up. 01:30:54.039 --> 01:30:56.553 l have an idea, though... 01:30:57.000 --> 01:31:00.071 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player