[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.72,0:00:02.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Music and applause]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.50,0:00:08.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, thank you so much.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.99,0:00:12.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is so exciting for me this evening,\Ntaping a television show and everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.71,0:00:13.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's always a thrill.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.100,0:00:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love doing TV.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.21,0:00:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was recently on a show called\N"Star Search", heard of it?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.02,0:00:20.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[applause]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.70,0:00:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But actually I wasn't on\Nthe real Star Search,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.53,0:00:25.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was on Star Search International.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.28,0:00:28.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I'm so very international.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.59,0:00:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They had a real problem with me because\NI look this way, but I talk this way.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.02,0:00:35.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.57,0:00:38.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was like a problem and they're\Ntrying to be sensitive about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.15,0:00:41.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're like, "Margaret, we don't want\Nyou to take this the wrong way but
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.91,0:00:45.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could you be a little more, oh I don't\Nknow, Chinese"?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.07,0:00:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.60,0:00:50.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, actually I'm Korean.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.21,0:00:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Whatever."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.88,0:00:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.59,0:00:57.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was supposed to go on this show and\Ntell jokes, what was I supposed to do?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.16,0:01:08.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, my husband is so fat, that when\Nhe sit around the [unintelligible]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.36,0:01:10.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he really sit around the [unintelligible].
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.45,0:01:11.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.60,0:01:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gong.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.68,0:01:18.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't go to church anymore, and my\Ngrandmother follows me around
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.24,0:01:24.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Margaret, Margaret, how come you\Ndon't go to church?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.19,0:01:29.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You have many friends at church."\N[snoring]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.64,0:01:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.16,0:01:39.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[snoring] Bingo!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.60,0:01:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter and applause]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.79,0:01:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother is convinced that everybody\Nin show business does drugs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.81,0:02:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's like, "Oh you cannot go to the club\Nbecause they take the drugs."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.70,0:02:08.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Those people they take the cocaines\Nand then they take the D, the D, the D."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.42,0:02:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mom, it's LSD.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.92,0:02:11.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How do you know that?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.19,0:02:13.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.47,0:02:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother really wants me to get married\Nbut I don't know if that gonna happen soon.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.94,0:02:18.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have trouble with men.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.36,0:02:20.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you ever go out with somebody\Nand you like them so much,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.34,0:02:21.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you like them so much,\Nyou like them so much,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.91,0:02:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you like them so much,\Nyou like them so much,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.08,0:02:29.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then they do something,\Nand then you don't like anymore?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.38,0:02:31.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went out with this guy recently.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.03,0:02:32.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I liked him so much,\NI liked him so much,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.46,0:02:33.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like him so much,\NI like him so much,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.77,0:02:36.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we went out and we went dancing\Nand he started moon walking
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.88,0:02:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,around me [audience laughs]\Nand I didn't like him anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.84,0:02:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.50,0:02:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I dated one guy who said that if I\Nbroke up with him that he would
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.84,0:02:52.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kill himself, and I broke up with him\Nbut he's not dead yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.46,0:02:54.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.77,0:02:57.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I want to call him up and go,\N"You know, what's the deal?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.13,0:03:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.62,0:03:02.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought we had a agreement.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.10,0:03:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter and applause]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.45,0:03:09.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love being her in Montreal,\Nit's a beautiful city.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.41,0:03:12.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I travel a lot, I like traveling but\NI get kind of nervous when I go
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.53,0:03:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to places where there aren't a lot\Nof Asians like Alabama.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.16,0:03:18.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.69,0:03:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in Mobile Alabama, I was walking\Ndown the street and this man actually
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.44,0:03:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called me a "chink".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.84,0:03:28.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean he actually called me a\Nchink - I was so mad I just looked at him
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.41,0:03:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said, "Chink? I'm sorry Chinks\Nare Chinese, I'm Korean, I'm a gook alright."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.65,0:03:35.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.82,0:03:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're going to be racist, at least\Nlearn the terminology.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.06,0:03:42.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get like a redneck to English dictionary.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.53,0:03:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter and applause]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.08,0:03:56.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that racism is the biggest \Ndisadvantage to being Asian in\N
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.28,0:04:00.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,America but if I was to choose, I think\Nthe biggest advantage to being
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.60,0:04:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asian in America is that if you're at\Nan airport or a bar or something,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.86,0:04:06.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and somebody comes up and talks\Nto you, and you don't want to talk
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.41,0:04:10.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to them you can just pretend you\Ndon't speak English.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.02,0:04:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh no, I don't know."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.72,0:04:14.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.24,0:04:15.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.54,0:04:16.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[music and applause]