0:00:00.720,0:00:02.312
[Music and applause]

0:00:07.502,0:00:08.988
Oh, thank you so much.

0:00:08.988,0:00:12.708
This is so exciting for me this evening,[br]taping a television show and everything.

0:00:12.708,0:00:13.999
It's always a thrill.

0:00:13.999,0:00:15.210
I love doing TV.

0:00:15.210,0:00:19.019
I was recently on a show called[br]"Star Search", heard of it?

0:00:19.019,0:00:20.699
[applause]

0:00:20.699,0:00:22.529
But actually I wasn't on[br]the real Star Search,

0:00:22.529,0:00:25.278
I was on Star Search International.

0:00:25.278,0:00:28.589
Because I'm so very international.

0:00:28.589,0:00:33.024
They had a real problem with me because[br]I look this way, but I talk this way.

0:00:33.024,0:00:35.574
[laughter]

0:00:35.574,0:00:38.154
That was like a problem and they're[br]trying to be sensitive about it.

0:00:38.154,0:00:41.910
They're like, "Margaret, we don't want[br]you to take this the wrong way but

0:00:41.910,0:00:45.071
could you be a little more, oh I don't[br]know, Chinese"?

0:00:45.071,0:00:47.595
[laughter]

0:00:47.595,0:00:50.208
Well, actually I'm Korean.

0:00:50.208,0:00:51.878
"Whatever."

0:00:51.878,0:00:53.592
[laughter]

0:00:53.592,0:00:57.155
I was supposed to go on this show and[br]tell jokes, what was I supposed to do?

0:00:57.155,0:01:08.359
Oh, my husband is so fat, that when[br]he sit around the [unintelligible]

0:01:08.359,0:01:10.448
he really sit around the [unintelligible].

0:01:10.448,0:01:11.598
[laughter]

0:01:11.598,0:01:12.678
Gong.

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I don't go to church anymore, and my[br]grandmother follows me around

0:01:18.242,0:01:24.188
"Margaret, Margaret, how come you[br]don't go to church?"

0:01:24.188,0:01:29.636
"You have many friends at church."[br][snoring]

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[laughter]

0:01:32.160,0:01:39.605
[snoring] Bingo!

0:01:39.605,0:01:43.586
[laughter and applause]

0:01:51.789,0:01:56.810
My mother is convinced that everybody[br]in show business does drugs.

0:01:56.810,0:02:01.705
She's like, "Oh you cannot go to the club[br]because they take the drugs."

0:02:01.705,0:02:08.422
"Those people they take the cocaines[br]and then they take the D, the D, the D."

0:02:08.422,0:02:09.920
Mom, it's LSD.

0:02:09.920,0:02:11.193
"How do you know that?"

0:02:11.193,0:02:13.474
[laughter]

0:02:13.474,0:02:16.938
My mother really wants me to get married[br]but I don't know if that gonna happen soon.

0:02:16.938,0:02:18.359
I have trouble with men.

0:02:18.359,0:02:20.343
Do you ever go out with somebody[br]and you like them so much,

0:02:20.343,0:02:21.907
you like them so much,[br]you like them so much,

0:02:21.907,0:02:24.085
you like them so much,[br]you like them so much,

0:02:24.085,0:02:29.379
and then they do something,[br]and then you don't like anymore?

0:02:29.379,0:02:31.032
I went out with this guy recently.

0:02:31.032,0:02:32.462
I liked him so much,[br]I liked him so much,[br]

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I like him so much,[br]I like him so much,

0:02:33.772,0:02:36.882
we went out and we went dancing[br]and he started moon walking

0:02:36.882,0:02:43.842
around me [audience laughs][br]and I didn't like him anymore.

0:02:43.842,0:02:46.503
[laughter]

0:02:46.503,0:02:48.839
I dated one guy who said that if I[br]broke up with him that he would

0:02:48.839,0:02:52.462
kill himself, and I broke up with him[br]but he's not dead yet.

0:02:52.462,0:02:54.772
[laughter]

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And I want to call him up and go,[br]"You know, what's the deal?"

0:02:57.134,0:03:00.615
[laughter]

0:03:00.615,0:03:02.105
I thought we had a agreement.

0:03:02.105,0:03:04.685
[laughter and applause]

0:03:07.450,0:03:09.407
I love being her in Montreal,[br]it's a beautiful city.

0:03:09.407,0:03:12.527
I travel a lot, I like traveling but[br]I get kind of nervous when I go

0:03:12.527,0:03:16.165
to places where there aren't a lot[br]of Asians like Alabama.

0:03:16.165,0:03:18.692
[laughter]

0:03:18.692,0:03:21.445
I was in Mobile Alabama, I was walking[br]down the street and this man actually

0:03:21.445,0:03:23.839
called me a "chink".

0:03:23.839,0:03:28.407
I mean he actually called me a[br]chink - I was so mad I just looked at him

0:03:28.407,0:03:33.646
and I said, "Chink? I'm sorry Chinks[br]are Chinese, I'm Korean, I'm a gook alright."

0:03:33.646,0:03:35.819
[laughter]

0:03:35.819,0:03:40.061
If you're going to be racist, at least[br]learn the terminology.

0:03:40.061,0:03:42.530
Get like a redneck to English dictionary.

0:03:42.530,0:03:45.225
[laughter and applause]

0:03:53.080,0:03:56.280
I think that racism is the biggest [br]disadvantage to being Asian in[br]

0:03:56.280,0:04:00.597
America but if I was to choose, I think[br]the biggest advantage to being

0:04:00.597,0:04:03.857
Asian in America is that if you're at[br]an airport or a bar or something,

0:04:03.857,0:04:06.406
and somebody comes up and talks[br]to you, and you don't want to talk

0:04:06.406,0:04:10.019
to them you can just pretend you[br]don't speak English.

0:04:10.019,0:04:12.715
"Oh no, I don't know."

0:04:12.715,0:04:14.240
[laughter]

0:04:14.240,0:04:15.540
Thank you very much.

0:04:15.540,0:04:16.977
[music and applause]