- Ooh!
Why does he look like a Mumford & Son?
Oh, No!
Looks like your dad.
Swipe right!
- Oh, no, Tracy,
if this is what dating is like,
you needa buy me 30 cats,
because I'm dying alone.
- You are so ridiculous,
they're not all bad,
like, look, what about him?
Look at that!
I know, but look at his interests,
he likes Star Wars.
I'm not dating a nerd.
- That just means he likes Star Wars,
that doesn't make you a nerd.
A lotta people like Star Wars.
- I know, but he puts it as his interest,
like, if you love a movie that much,
it's a little overboard.
- Really?
What do you think about this?
- (gasps) That's from my childhood.
I'm very nostalgic.
- That why you're wearing overalls?
- Yes.
Okay, how about this guy?
He likes sports, he's a King's fan,
he seems normal.
- He seems great, swipe right.
- Its a match!
- Oh, you both die alone, probably.
- Okay, I have to ask,
you didn't have the beard in your profile picture,
when did you grow that?
- I been growin' this puppy out
ever since my King's made the playoffs,
just for luck, ya know?
- Okay.
You have any other superstitions?
- I wear the same pair of boxers
I wore last time we won the Stanley Cup,
and I don't shower.
- Oh.
- (gulping) - Seriously?
- (low belch) Let's get one more!
- Okay, Sports was a bust,
how 'bout this guy?
He likes art.
He's an adult!
- This red, white and blue penis
represents the patriarchal American oppression of other nations.
- Is that that guy from that TV show?
- I really like the Big Bang Theory.
- Yikes.
This guy seems normal.
- I really wanted to list more of my interests,
but evidently,
they have a rule against furries and big jugs.
Like, I'm just really into furries and big jugs.
- Check, please.
Okay, I'll try the Star Wars guy,
I mean, how bad could he be?
(harp flourish)
(guttural moaning)
- Oh, I, nope.
No.
Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?
(lively jazz)
- Lisa, right?
- Yeah.
- I'm Tyler.
- Hi.
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry I'm late.
- That's okay.
But look, before we go any further,
I feel like I need to tell you,
I've never seen Star Wars before and I feel really weird about it,
so, I'm sorry?
- This is about my profile, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay, ah,
I like the movies but they do not define me at all.
- Okay.
- You're an actress, right?
- Ah, yes, and I also own a children's theater.
- No way,
my mom's a high school drama teacher!
- No way!
- She's been doin' it forever, like since I was a little kid.
- Aw, that's so cute.
(romantic music)
- Wyatt is a very cute dog.
- Thanks!
Oh, gosh, it's almost five o'clock, I totally lost track of time.
I need to go to therapy to ah, pilates!
I gotta go to pilates, so--
- Do you want me to walk you to your car?
- Yeah, that'd be nice.
- Alright, cool. Ladies first.
No, I don't think so,
he was nursing that glass of wine also, that whole time we were there.
It's very strange.
- Very sad. This is me.
- Alright,
well, we should totally do this again, I had a great time.
- I did too, I'd like that.
- So, I'll call you?
- Yeah.
- Have a good night.
- 'Kay, you too.
(dramatic flourish)
Shit! I'm in love with a Star Wars nerd!
- Next time:
This is Luke Skywalker.
He's trained to become a Jedi master by?
- Spock.
- That's Star Trek.
- Gandalf!
- That's Lord of the Rings.
- Neil Armstrong.
- That's a real person.
Did you graduate high school?