[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.27,0:00:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- ♪ Fa la la la la la la ♪--\N- (Ian) SHUT UP!!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.78,0:00:06.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, hey!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.80,0:00:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You caught roasting chestnuts \Nover this open fire.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.47,0:00:12.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If there's one thing Anthony \Nand I love, it's Christmas.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.57,0:00:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We love Christmas so much, \Nwe got tattoos to prove it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.83,0:00:22.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So to celebrate the holiday \Nseason, we'd like to share
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.47,0:00:24.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a few of our own \NChristmas stories with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.83,0:00:26.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's take a look, shall we?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.69,0:00:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This story begins with \NSanta at the computer.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.58,0:00:31.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}You've got mail.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.82,0:00:33.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What're you doing, sweetie?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.71,0:00:37.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nothing, honey buns! I'm just \Nbidding on this snuggie on eBay,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.94,0:00:40.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but this ass face keeps outbidding me...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.92,0:00:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the heck?!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.07,0:00:45.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This fricking douche bag \Njust won the auction again!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.41,0:00:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Calm down, sugar cake! It's OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.96,0:00:52.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just sick of this 56K \Ninternet and the North Pole!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.91,0:00:57.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it doesn't help that we haven't got \Nthe newest operating system.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.25,0:01:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ (Price is Right losing horn) ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.05,0:01:03.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Did you forget to buy Christmas{\i0}\N{\i1}presents and now it's Christmas day?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.71,0:01:04.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}We're here to help!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.98,0:01:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}We're Christmas Presents Direct.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.64,0:01:08.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What a big present!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.02,0:01:10.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Simply give us the address{\i0}\N{\i1}of your Christmas party,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.84,0:01:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}and we'll send one \Nof our associates right over.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.73,0:01:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}They'll pick up whatever they{\i0}\N{\i1}can on the way to your house,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.22,0:01:17.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}and wrap it up for you!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.74,0:01:19.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}We guarantee that your family and friends{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.74,0:01:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}are going to love the variety of gifts{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.97,0:01:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}that Christmas Presents Direct has to offer.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.78,0:01:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How did you know?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.84,0:01:28.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wonder what this could be?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.01,0:01:30.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(cat yowls)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.35,0:01:31.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(doorbell rings)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.71,0:01:34.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells... ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.67,0:01:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(alarm clock beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.01,0:01:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's Christmas!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.74,0:01:44.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bye, mom! I'm going sledding!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.33,0:01:46.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoo hoo! Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.82,0:01:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wheeeee!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.76,0:01:52.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(groaning)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.04,0:02:00.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Hey, parents! Are you tired of your kids{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.16,0:02:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}sneaking into your room{\i0}\N{\i1}to see what present you got them?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.03,0:02:05.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}From the makers{\i0}\N{\i1}of Christmas Presents Direct,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.27,0:02:07.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}we bring you Christmas Gift Guard.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.36,0:02:10.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}When you order, a former{\i0}\N{\i1}US Special Forces Commando{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.48,0:02:12.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}will be sent to your house immediately{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.38,0:02:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}to guard your presents before{\i0}\N{\i1} you wrap them up for Christmas.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.73,0:02:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}No longer will your kids{\i0}\N{\i1}be able to come into your room{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.50,0:02:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}and sneak that little peak{\i0}\N{\i1}on the new present you got them!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.81,0:02:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Christmas Gift Guard{\i0}\N{\i1}is not responsible for any deaths,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.78,0:02:25.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}gunshot wounds, knife wounds, [inaudible] traps,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.41,0:02:27.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}land mines, or piano wire stranglings.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.41,0:02:29.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, that's all the time we have for today.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.49,0:02:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tune in next week for the second episode...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.26,0:02:35.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Are you tired of your kid{\i0}\N{\i1}not believing in Santa?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.16,0:02:37.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}We're Santa Illusions Express.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.69,0:02:39.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Watch it at Smosh.com!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.07,0:02:42.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube.]