Here I am, trying to write about yesterday before I forget.
But I don't know if I'll ever make it.
I have notes all over the place, and now I'm trying to sort them out.
I started the notebook backwards, so the lineís read from the right...
Like in Arabic.
My notebook is a Clairefontaine.
I just stole it from the supermarket.
It's amazing how long it takes to write.
I had no idea.
I never read a whole book...
so writing one.... Who do I think I am?
Back to what happened yesterday....
She stops, she starts by telling me this;
See? I have an angelís face.
Everybody says so.
See my eyes?
Theyíre so clear and blue youíd give your own for them.
You see my hair?
Angel-blond. And my skin, so white.
My aunt says it comes from way back...
Like five generations ago.
You know my aunt?
She says Iím so blond, I look like a spot.
Even experts donít know why.
Iím like a Ferrari in the middle of a junkyard.
Why she's saying this to me, I don't know. Then she adds;
Want to see my pussy?
LlLA SAYS
My name is Chimo. I'm 19.
I live with my mom in a suburb called Shady Grove.
It should really be called ''Satellite Grove''...
'cause nothing else grows around here.
Except for this tree, stunned to be stuck here.
My mother swears that when she goes to work...
she hears it cry.
But she hears tears everywhere.
I have three friends.
The one in the front is my main man, Mouloud.
Then there's Big Jo, and the tiny one, Bakary.
They're like my number two and three pals.
-Italian piece of shit! -Weíre out of gas!
Itís Japanese.
Fucking rice burner!
Here nothing works, everything's fucked up.
No prospects in the morning, none in the evening...
none in between.
Most prop up the walls in case they fall.
I feel as useless as a chair on the ceiling.
It's a life made up of tiny useless bits.
And since those fuckers blew up New York...
we're paying for it here, as well.
Stop! You have no right!
Want me to take you in, asshole?
Sammy, cup of coffee, please.
Mouloud and I always swore we'd share everything.
Problem is, that includes his shitty deals.
Why did you do that?
I've never left this place...
although someone did try to help me once.
I was in high school then.
Mrs. Jarjoura?
I am Claire Soulier, Chimoís French teacher.
-Nice to meet you. -Likewise.
Please come in.
I think your son is very talented.
Yes...
I keep telling him.
Mrs. Soulier...
could you come back later? Itís time for our prayer.
Donít embarrass us.
Yes, Madame?
It takes me an hour each time to correct your essays...
but see, I photocopied them all.
Did you write them yourself?
Quite a few misspellings, but it doesnít matter.
Chimo, what do you want to do in the future?
I donít know.
Well, there is a special school in Paris for talented people like you.
To do what?
Famous writers teach there, they can give you a hand.
And also help you sell your stuff.
I can write a letter of recommendation.
How much is it?
Iíll find the money.
Mom...
weíre broke.
Mrs. Soulier, thank you, but weíll pass.
The program is free.
But each applicant must write a 30-page story.
lf they like it, youíre in.
Itís that simple.
I know you can do it.
Class-pet. Cunt-licker.
-Teacher-fucker. -What did she want?
I may go to Paris. Thereís a school....
Paris? Bullshit! We donít belong with these people.
That bitch wants something from you.
Iím telling you.
She thinks because weíre Muslims, weíre gonna blow something up.
Or maybe sheís a Zionist, and we donít know it.
I hear Jews give us jobs and pussy...
and then we have to spy for them.
-Spy on what? -Who knows?
Shut up.
What else?
She said Iím a good writer.
Maybe I can make some cash.
Monsieur wants to write.
Who cares if your old man ran away with that French whore?
Just trying to protect you, man.
Whatever. Letís go.
I told myself...
I'm already a fuckup. Why try?
Why go somewhere else?
I'd look like less of a loser if I stayed here with the losers.
-Are you sure heís Indian? -Of course he is.
I am amazed how many opportunities I missed.
Get your thumbs out of your ass.
Thatís it, not a penny more.
-So? -Nothing.
-How much? -Nothing?
We're not about conquering the world.
We're looking for something to do...
and there isn't anything.
Life is just passing me by.
Always felt that.
Whoís she?
Iíve seen her around. I think her nameís Lisa.
No, itís not.
Itís Laura or Loretta.
I think she moved here last year.
No, three months ago, with an aunt and a suitcase in tow.
Inchí Allah, soon you and I...
weíll get married.
The first time I saw her...
I stopped breathing.
There in the sand pit...
she spoke with a voice so sweet...
you'd believe in miracles.
So?
So what?
My pussy. Donít you want to see it?
How much?
Whatever you like.
Iím broke.
I know you are.
lf I wanted money, Iíd go elsewhere.
Why do you want to show it to me?
I told you, I just feel like it tonight.
But not other nights?
Depends.
Whyís that?
ëCause youíre not the only one.
So youíve shown it to others?
Shit. This chick could start a fucking jihad.
Imagine the headlines;
''Pussy-inspired jihad wreaks havoc in Shady Grove!''
lf I have to choose between pussy and a free Palestine...
I'll take pussy.
Yes, Iíd like to see it.
A quickie or a longie?
Whatís the difference?
A quickie, I just lift my skirt.
A longie is on the swing.
The swing is not long enough.
Youíre such a pain. Itís free and youíre bitching?
The offer wonít last.
Donít come whining if others take it up.
Okay.
The swing.
A dam burst inside me.
Since I met Lila, words have flowed more easily.
For once, the sun did shine on Shady Grove...
a piece of sky came down and didn't crush me.
For once, I've got something that's different.
Lila.
Please.
Itís Jesus Christís delicacy.
Itís so blond it could be a lantern...
when youíve lost your way.
Just a bit longer.
Iím cold.
Are you sick?
Shall I take your temperature?
Enough.
How ungrateful.
I took you in out of pity.
Without me...
youíd be living in a foster home...
getting raped every night by your foster brothers.
-Hi, Chimo. -Hi, Nabila.
Itís all there.
How are you getting home?
On my camel.
I can give you a ride.
Put your bags in the back.
lf you want.
When I sat down...
I made sure my pussy was right on the saddle.
With every little bump, imagine....
Itís like the road is touching me.
Men donít understand...
the movements of nature.
Itís different for women.
We follow the moon, our periods and everything.
Weíre like little planets.
Chimo, shut up.
After all, I don't know her.
It's only the second time we've been alone together.
Got a hard-on?
Yes.
It must be suffering in there.
Do you want me to take it out?
You canít do it here.
Want to bet?
No one will notice, I promise.
Let me try.
See?
-Feels good? -Yes.
Here. Iím sure youíll like it.
Thanks.
Weíre neighbors.
You live on Abadie Street.
I live on Azad.
And Iím on Fifi Turin.
Donít you live with that crazy, fat....
Excuse my friends. No manners.
My name is Mouloud. Whatís yours?
Give that sweet butt a rest, Iíll give you a ride.
Donít be scared...
I just want to chat with you.
Did you see what I just saw?
She and I, a happy couple.
-Didnít she just trash you? -Shut up.
When a chick takes off like this, that means sheís hooked.
Drive on.
Check them out.
Give us a smile.
Look, sheís smiling.
This is Claire Soulier. Please leave a message.
I was bringing you back your CD.
You can sit down.
Take your T-shirt off if you want.
You have ìolive skin.''
Olive what?
ìSkin.''
Like olive oil.
Americans coined that phrase.
You like olive oil skin?
Yes, I do.
Put some lotion on me?
-Looking at my face? -Yes.
-Do you like it? -Yes.
See how tiny my mouth is?
Amazing, isnít it?
What is?
That it could take in a big penis.
How come you speak English?
I donít.
Ever seen an American red barn?
Only on TV.
Theyíre so romantic.
I slept there a couple of times.
What were you doing in America?
I spent the summer.
Did you like it?
There was this guy...
he used to work on a tractor.
One day, he brought me breakfast on a tray.
He lifted it right up...
to the top of the haystack.
And then?
Then he came up.
And then?
Then we ate.
And then?
Chimo. Ever got laid in a haystack?
There is no hay in Shady Grove.
It itches a bit, but thatís good.
It forces you to come up with new positions.
You met a lot of Americans?
Yes.
Are they like the French?
They ask fewer questions.
Lie down, if you want.
I can rack my brain trying to remember how I felt then.
Her voice, her hair, her breathing.... As if she were fainting.
I don't know whether I should get angry...
or whether people are supposed to swap those kinds of stories.
I have no story to tell her.
Chimo, right behind you.
You canít leave me, Lila.
You never know.
I knew it. You want to go.
And whatís to become of me?
No one understands me.
Theyíll lock me up...
dig into my past.
Youíre my angel.
Donít leave me.
Where would I go?
Does that Lila chick ever talk to any of you?
Not to me.
Me, neither. Stuck-up bitch. She looks right past you...
doesnít see you.
Like you donít exist.
She talks to you?
Me? No.
Are you sure?
Of course Iím sure.
I keep trying, but whenever I get near, she takes off.
Like Iím the Invisible Man.
Follow me.
Can I talk to you?
Go ahead.
Weíll be over there.
So talk.
About this girl...
I can see it coming, Good Samaritan.
ìLeave her aloneî and all that. Donít bother.
Maybe sheís got someone else.
You think a hot chick like her will stick to just one guy?
I donít want to go monkeying around under her window.
Did you hear that?
Weíre ìmonkeyingî around.
Why didnít you pay the bill? I gave you 50 euros.
Iíll ask for an extension.
And next month youíll ask for another one?
Donít smoke.
Do you know how much a pack costs? Iíll tell you.
It costs me two hours of work.
Bring in some cash, then you can spend it.
Whatís wrong? Calm down.
Donít tell me to calm down.
Youíre 19, and Iím still supporting you.
-Thereís no jobs here. -Iíve got one.
Try that writing school.
As of today, no more cigarettes, no more money.
And find a way to pay me back.
You gave blood a month ago.
I need cash really bad.
Wait over there.
-Chimo, remember what I said? -Yes.
So how do you feel?
Fine. I spilled the coffee twice at home...
I forgot to take out the trash, I got cramps...
and a couple of migraines. Otherwise, I'm fine.
Lila, do you want to go away with me?
-Yes. Where to? -We'll see. As long as we're together.
Are you okay?
I came for my aunt.
My motherís sick, too.
Tell me, Chimo...
do I bother you?
Not at all. Why?
Well, maybe itís a bit too much.
No, itís okay.
Well, I was thinking of something.
What?
A treat.
I thought...
if I loved a man, Iíd want him to see me doing it with someone else.
You think heíd like that?
Iím not sure, but I would.
You see, when youíre screwing, you canít really see.
But he would remember what I did with the others...
and itíd really turn him on.
No, I think heíd only focus...
on those guys, and heíd want to whack them.
Is that what youíd do?
Yes.
Why?
It would hurt too much...
to see the girl I love screw other guys.
Sheíd still be yours.
In fact, sheíd do it just for you.
Or she wouldnít get off on it, thatís for sure.
Not all the way, at least.
Is that what love is to you?
Kind of, yes.
What about you?
Ever been in love?
I donít know.
Youíre not sure?
Me, neither.
-What about you? -What about me?
Would you like your guy to screw some girls as a treat for you?
Iíd love it.
Real bitches whoíd drive him wild.
lf he did, Iíd be crazy for him.
I get horny just thinking about it.
You slut.
He heard us.
Serves him right. Freak.
You saw his eyes?
Born brain-dead.
People donít have a lot up here.
Their heads are...
full of mushed-up misery.
Not a thought.
Not a dream.
Stop dreaming and youíve got nothing left...
but your hand to wipe away your tears.
Thatís why the guy I love...
Iíd want to help him, straighten his head.
Thatís the treat.
lf youíre so eager, why donít you just do it?
Where do I find the guy Iíd love?
Why me?
I'm just an Arab, dark and curly.
I can't believe she flashed me.
What goes on in her mind is scary.
Yet I'm as thirsty for it as a fish out of water.
Fuck it! Letís go to the Carry Center.
They buy semen?
Big time. Letís go.
Look, look.
I know you.
Baby! Wanna hang out with me tonight?
And wake up with me?
Iíll eat your panties.
Get in the car.
-Want a ride? -She doesnít need one.
You know you have beautiful eyes?
And hair...
and skin...
and everything else, too.
Iím having a party. Thereís gonna be a DJ...
food, drinks, everything. Itís gonna be cool.
Iíd love for you to come.
No, thanks.
No? Why not?
I donít want to.
No problem.
Weíll go someplace else.
Iím talking to you.
She doesnít want to talk to us.
You, shut up.
What is it, lady, you got a problem?
Are you deaf, or am I not good enough?
Let her go.
Bye, Chimo.
Bye, Chimo? What do you think I am?
What the fuckís that? What, what?
Wat-wat! What are you, a fucking duck?
Whyíd you fuck with me like that? You know her?
She just showed up at the clinic. Letís go.
Why was she there?
What do I know?
What did you talk about?
Nothing.
You think Iím stupid?
What else are you hiding from me?
Nothing.
Chicks like that donít just show up.
She must have caught an STD.
Anyway, sheís a bitch.
I ran into her, I said, ìHi,î she didnít even say hi back.
Yet while sheís looking at me, sheís touching herself.
lf you looked as good, youíd do the same.
Youíve been acting really weird lately, you know?
Where are you guys?
I bought tons of food.
I can come and pick you up.
Why not?
Get lost.
Drop it, DJ. Letís go.
I need to fuck.
Who next?
Your turn, Chimo.
Get in there or heíll kill you.
Fuck her!
Come on!
Iím not in the mood.
Maybe he gay. He fuck Li upstairs, he gay, too!
Shut up, egg roll.
I want to see you fuck her.
Itís my birthday.
Come on, Mohammed, me not here forever.
My nameís not Mohammed.
No problem, Mohammed.
I give you sucky.
Man, I already paid.
Then fuck her twice.
Tell us something. Are you a fag?
lf you are, itís okay. Just say it.
Iím a fag. I just canít hide it like you do.
You didnít fuck the Chink...
you smell nice...
you dress nice, youíre polite...
and youíre good to your mama.
Add it all up, youíre a fag.
Get off his back.
Yeah, get off his back.
Chimoís not a fag...
he just got laid this morning. Right, Chimo?
Whatís this about?
Your limp dick.
Two reasons: either youíre queer, or youíre fucking the blond.
Which is it?
Iíve had it. Pull over, Bakary.
Pull over!
I warn you, donít keep her to yourself.
Sometimes, I feel happy about my secret.
That she looks at me, talks to me. I tell myself I'm the only one.
But I don't know what to do around her.
She's like a wild country.
See...
they thought she was dead.
Well, she isnít.
Look.
Sheís waking up.
To thank them...
she screws all of them.
Then she falls in love...
with this one.
-And stops screwing around? -Donít know.
I donít have part two.
This girl shakes me up and tosses me around.
I'm like a salad in her hands.
My lips are glued.
What am I doing here?
What are you thinking about?
Some guys put an idea into my head.
What guys?
Guys scouting around.
Scouting for what?
Porn films.
A lot of amateurs make movies these days.
Itís easy with digital cameras.
Plus, blonds are hot nowadays.
I told them I was a virgin...
and wanted $1,000.
They said they didnít care for virgins.
Why did you tell them that?
I thought they wouldnít notice.
Ever been in a film before?
But youíre tempted.
It gives me ideas.
Like what?
Beyond getting screwed, Chimo...
Iíd love to watch myself screwing...
and try new stuff at the same time.
Once, I tried in front of a mirror.
Bottom line:
couldnít see a thing, didnít enjoy it.
Would you do me a favor?
Yeah, I guess.
Could you film me while Iím screwing?
I donít think I can.
Itís easy.
All you have to do is take a camera...
position yourself...
so you get both my lower half and my face, so I know itís really me.
Later, when I watch it...
Iíll come even harder.
Why do you ask me that?
It would be a treat for both of us.
Who told you Iíd like it?
I donít know. Whatever.
I thought you would.
lf I donít, will you ask someone else?
Why do you keep on about this?
About what?
You know.
No, I donít.
Cocks, pussies, blowjobs, all that stuff.
What else is there?
-Where were you? -I had work to do.
Donít lie. You were with that girl.
So?
Sheís indecent.
Every time you see me with a girl, sheís indecent.
Itís sinful to display your thighs.
Donít bug me with sinful and sacred, or Iím out of here.
Donít talk to me like that.
Mom, I donít agree with the way you see things lately.
Iím not surprised. You Jarjouras only think of your....
Here we go again.
Your stinking father lost it the moment she spread her legs.
Stop talking about Dad. Khalass, heís gone.
Inchí Allah, he never comes back!
He thinks sheíll make him happy?
An Arab with a French woman?
Since he left, youíre angry all the time.
All you do is moan.
Itís like something bad happened, and you just gave up.
I know itís not easy to live here.
Maybe if you fix yourself up, you wonít be alone anymore.
I miss seeing you smile.
Sometimes, I think if I wasnít around...
youíd be much better off.
All week long, she showed up where I worked.
But we never talked.
You don't know anyone really.
I dreamed about you.
What was the dream about?
Stuff you wouldnít believe.
Like what?
I was screwing 100 guys at once.
And you know what?
They all had your face.
When I donít see her for a day or two...
I imagine her doing the stuff she tells me about.
And I get this lump in my stomach.
Itís a new feeling, and itís eating me alive.
Help!
My poor little angel!
A priest, quick!
Jesus, Mary, Joseph!
Sheís not getting any better.
What have I done to deserve this?
I knew youíd come.
Your aunt....
Sheís lost it.
I know.
I told her a story.
You want to hear it?
Yes, I do.
This morning, sheís acting screwy again...
singing in front of my pussy.
I got really pissed off. So I tell her...
I saw the devil.
You saw what?
I saw him with my own eyes.
Your shirt is unbuttoned.
How do you know it was the devil?
He told me.
-You must have heard voices. -No.
His organ was red and it smoked.
Red doesnít prove a thing.
And the smoke?
Maybe it was one of the sand niggers.
His organ smelled of sulfur...
and he had a big rat tail.
A rat tail?
It trailed all over the floor.
See for yourself.
He knocked St. John over.
But, my Lord. Why would he come in here?
Why?
To fuck an angel.
That just finished her.
I laughed so hard inside.
Iíd never talked sex with her.
You know what he told me?
Who?
The devil.
He said, ìLila...
ìyouíre going to blow me.''
Then we stayed like that in silence...
both of us...
for a minute or two.
Sometimes, you lose track.
Iím sure you know that.
Yes, I do.
Then I start blowing him.
I keep my eyes closed.
I go down on this hard, sweet...
round, throbbing thing.
The world stands still.
Day, night...
wars, seasons....
You just obey.
Why is he doing this to me?
How does he know...
it both scares me and turns me on?
What a feeling.
Like the saints who saw heaven open for them...
as they were being tortured.
You know the rest.
No point in looking. I cleaned up after he left.
lf I were you, Iíd be more careful.
You would?
About what?
I donít know, those stories.
Do you believe me or not?
lf you donít, why are you listening to me?
I believe you, Lila.
Father, is she possessed?
Calm down, Madame.
My poor Lila! My angel!
Stop it!
Please, Madame. Iíll take it from here.
Miss...
can you tell me where it happened?
In my bedroom.
When?
This morning.
And this thing, what did it look like?
Horns, claws...
the usual.
I know how traumatic it must have been....
Who is this devil?
One of those guys she says she screws whenever she can?
And what does she want from me?
She, too, must think I'm an idiot because I haven't jumped her yet.
He was right here with a big rat tail.
It was a pitchfork, not a ratís tail.
Why not tell what really happened?
This is nobodyís business, Father.
Sucking the devilís dick is everybodyís business.
Please, donít leave us.
Weíre two single women among savages.
You slut!
-Fucking racist! -Out, out!
Get out. All of you!
How long have you been sharing secrets with Miss Cock-tease?
Heís so fucking dumb.
She talks cocks and pussies, and you know what he does?
He holds her hand.
Wait until I tell everyone. Your slutís up shitís creek.
Two euros, please.
Letís make up.
Youíre the one whoís sulking.
Itís all this slutís fault.
The devil stuff, the fights.... Itís all her fault.
Sheís breaking the balance between us, sheís fucking us up.
-Mostly you. -Donít worry about me.
Of course I do. Youíre like my brother.
We need to talk.
So talk.
Why do you think sheís after you?
You tell me.
French girls think weíre exotic goods.
Arab singers, Arab actors, soccer players....
Weíre hip.
They go out with us just to show off.
I donít see anyone showing off with you.
You and her, it canít work. Sheís nuts.
You heard her stories. How can she come up with this shit?
Sheís sick, thatís what I say.
And I like what she says.
How do you think she got her moped?
-From a friend. -A friend?
Try a customer.
One night, a gray limo drove by. She was standing on the curb.
The door opened, she got in, and off they went.
Did you see it?
Donít tell me you didnít.
I saw the car, too.
It had curtains.
They put a porn video on...
just to set the mood...
they drive around for a while...
they bring her back, slip her some cash.
ìBye, letís fuck again soon.''
You werenít there.
Itís up to you, pal.
You can go for her devil bullshit.
Iím giving you facts.
Youíre dating a whore.
Sheís a whore.
Speak of the devil.
Hey, slut, come here! I want to screw you. Come here!
Are you scared or what? You whore!
Come suck my dick!
Let me go! Asshole!
Let me go!
Itís okay, let go of me.
My pals saw you.
Saw me what?
Get into a gray car with curtains.
Is that why you came?
So what about the car?
Canít I have friends whoíll take me out for a ride?
So itís true.
Why do you ask, since you saw me?
I jerked you off once, so what?
-Nothing. -Your pals are hopeless.
Subnormal.
I donít even look at them.
Iíd pollute my eyes.
Iím not for them.
At least they know it.
Iíd choose any trash on earth over them.
So what...
if they call me a slut?
What if I like it?
Anyway, I donít care.
Anything they say washes right over.
Sometimes it hurts me to see you with them.
It really does.
Youíre not on the same level.
Thatís why Iím nice to you. You canít deny it.
Iím not denying it.
I thought you were my friend.
You know all my secrets.
But sometimes I think youíre just as phony as them...
and your future is just as limited.
I thought you had a little something...
I mean, more than the others.
I never betrayed you, Lila.
What about the devil?
You couldíve stood up for me...
but you didnít.
Now my aunt wants us to move away.
I thought you were having fun.
You knew Iíd made it all up to get rid of my aunt.
I thought you did it to....
Turn you on?
That, too.
I never know what you expect of me.
When Iím alone, I think of you.
I even jerk off thinking of you.
Do you know that?
I even thought...
we might get married...
and have kids.
Damn it, canít you see I love you?
Dumbest moment of my life.
I'd never experienced anything like it.
I should have grabbed her and held her tight...
but I didn't.
Didn't know how to.
I got scared.
Now that I realize what she said...
it may be too late.
Could I film her like she wants with a bunch of masked sex maniacs?
I might go completely out of control...
smash everything around and lose her for good.
I wonder what I'm turning into.
Shit...
I can't even think straight anymore.
-Whatís wrong? -Nothing.
-What is it? -Nothing.
Nothing.
I wanted to tell you Iím sorry about the other day.
What do you mean?
What I said about the blond girl.
Donít worry about it.
I insist. Who am I to judge her?
Whatís going on?
Tell your scumbag friends never to set foot here again.
Mouloud started kicking the pinball machine.
I said, ìStop.'' He trashed the whole place.
Why?
No idea. He kept yelling that blond girl was gonna get it...
then he and his two buddies went on with their bullshit.
Chimo! Donít be stupid! Stay out of it!
Itís me.
Police!
Who else did it?
I told you, thatís it.
What about him?
Are you sure?
Iíll testify.
FUCK YOUR GRANNY!
Anybody home?
Hello. Iím looking for Lila.
So am I. I think they moved out. I donít know where they went.
Too bad. Thank you.
Do you know where I could reach her?
I always come to pick her up. She baby-sits my kids.
LOVE AND THE FRENCH
AMATEUR HARD-CORE PORN SOARS ON THE INTERNET
RED BARNS
Listen, I need your help. I need to get ahold of Lila Orlowsky.
She must have left you an address, a phone number, something.
I canít tell you. Itís illegal. Buzz off.
Please, sir.
Thatís all Iím asking. Sir, I beg you!
She doesnít know about this!
She must have thought I was in on it!
I just want to....
Please, just one phone call!
Please! Iíll have to live with that for the rest of my life!
Sir! Please!
Fuck!
Yes?
I love you.
I know.
I haven't seen Lila yet.
She went to Poland for the whole summer.
Me, too. I decided to leave.
Lila was the only reason to stay or to leave.
Lila was the only reason.
Lila and what she said.
ìLilaî?
Yes. Thatís what Lila said to me.
Lila....
She changed my life.
I now remember one thing she said to me...
and I forgot to write it down.
I like talking to you about all this.
Why me?
ëCause I like your eyes when I talk to you.
Translated By: RamaKamaXI WwW.YouTube.Com/RamaKamaXI