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People have been using media to talk[br]about sex for a long time.

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Love letters, phone sex, racy polaroids.

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There's even a story of a girl who eloped[br]with a man that she met over the telegraph

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in 1886.

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Today we have sexting,[br]and I am a sexting expert.

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Not an expect sexter.

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Though, I do know what this means --[br]I think you do too.

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(Laughter)

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I have been studying sexting since[br]the media attention to it began in 2008.

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I wrote a book on the moral[br]panic about sexting.

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And here's what I found:

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most people are worrying[br]about the wrong thing.

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They're trying to just prevent[br]sexting from happening entirely.

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But let me ask you this:

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As long as it's completely consensual,[br]what's the problem with sexting?

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People are into all sorts of things[br]that you may not be into,

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like blue cheese or cilantro.

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(Laughter)

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Sexting is certainly risky,[br]like anything that's fun,

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but as long as you're not sending an image[br]to someone who doesn't want to receive it,

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there's no harm.

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What I do think is a serious problem is[br]when people share private images of others

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without their permission.

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And instead of worrying about sexting,[br]what I think we need to do

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is think a lot more about digital privacy.

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The key is consent.

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Right now most people are thinking

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about sexting without really thinking[br]about consent at all.

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Did you know that we currently[br]criminalize teen sexting?

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It can be a crime because it counts[br]as child pornography,

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if there's an image of someone under 18

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and it doesn't even matter

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if they took that image of themselves[br]and shared it willingly.

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So we end up with this[br]bizarre legal situation

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where two 17-year-olds[br]can legally have sex in most U.S. states

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but they can't photograph it.

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Some states have also tried passing[br]sexting misdemeanor laws

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but these laws repeat the same problem

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because they still make[br]consensual sexting illegal.

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It doesn't make sense

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to try to ban all sexting[br]to try to address privacy violations.

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This is kind of like saying,

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let's solve the problem of date rape[br]by just making dating completely illegal.

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Most teens don't get arrested for sexting,[br]but can you guess who does?

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It's often teens who are disliked[br]by their partner's parents.

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And this can be because of class bias,[br]racism or homophobia.

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Most prosecutors are,[br]of course, smart enough

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not to use child pornography charges[br]against teenagers, but some do.

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According to researchers[br]at the University of New Hampshire

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seven percent of all child pornography[br]possession arrests are teens,

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sexting consensually with other teens.

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Child pornography is a serious crime,

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but it's just not[br]the same thing as teen sexting.

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Parents and educators are also[br]responding to sexting

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without really thinking[br]too much about consent.

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Their message to teens is often:[br]just don't do it.

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And I totally get it --[br]there are serious legal risks

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and of course,[br]that potential for privacy violations.

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And when you were a teen,

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I'm sure you did exactly[br]as you were told, right?

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You're probably thinking,[br]my kid would never sext.

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And that's true, your little angel[br]may not be sexting

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because only 33% of 16 and[br]17-year-olds are sexting.

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But, sorry, by the time they're older,[br]odds are they will be sexting.

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Every study I've seen puts the rate[br]above 50% for 18 to 24-year-olds.

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And most of the time,[br]nothing goes wrong.

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People ask me all the time things like,[br]isn't sexting just so dangerous, though,

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like you wouldn't leave your wallet[br]on a park bench

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and you expect it's gonna get stolen[br]if you do that, right?

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Here's how I think about it:

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sexting is like leaving your wallet[br]at your boyfriend's house.

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If you come back the next day

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and all the money is just gone,[br]you really need to dump that guy.

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So instead of criminalizing sexting to try[br]to prevent these privacy violations,

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instead we need to make consent central

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to how we think about the circulation[br]of our private information.

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Every new media technology[br]raises privacy concerns.

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In fact, in the U.S. the very first[br]major debates about privacy

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were in response to technologies[br]that were relatively new at the time.

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In the late 1800s, people were[br]worried about cameras,

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which were just suddenly more portable[br]than ever before,

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and newspaper gossip columns.

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They were worried that the camera[br]would capture information about them,

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take it out of context[br]and widely disseminate it.

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Does this sound familiar?

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It's exactly what we're worrying about[br]now with social media and drone cameras.

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and, of course, sexting.

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And these fears about technology,[br]they make sense because technologies

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can amplify and bring out[br]our worst qualities and behaviors.

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But there are solutions.

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And we've been here before[br]with a dangerous new technology.

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In 1908, Ford introduced the Model T car.

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Traffic fatality rates were rising.[br]

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It was a serious problem --[br]it looks so safe, right?

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Our first response was to try[br]to change drivers behavior,

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so we developed speed limits and[br]enforced them through fines.

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But over the following decades,

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we started to realize the technology[br]of the car itself is not just neutral.

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We could design the car to make it safer.

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So in the 1920s, we got[br]shatter-resistant windshields.

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In the 1950s, seatbelts.[br]And in the 1990s, airbags.

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All three of these areas:

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laws, individuals,[br]and industry came together

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over time to help solve the problem[br]that a new technology causes.

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And we can do the same thing[br]with digital privacy.

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Of course, it comes back to consent.

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Here's the idea.

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Before anyone can distribute[br]your private information,

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they should have to get your permission.

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This idea of affirmative consent[br]comes from anti-rape activists who tell us

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that we need consent for every sexual act.

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And we have really high standards[br]for consent in a lot of other areas.

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Think about having surgery.

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Your doctor has to make sure that

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you are meaningfully and knowingly[br]consenting to that medical procedure.

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This is not the type of consent with[br]an iTunes Terms of Service

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where you scroll to the bottom and[br]you're like, agree, agree, whatever.

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If we think more about consent,[br]we can have better privacy laws.

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Right now, we just don't have[br]that many protections.

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If your ex-husband or your ex-wife[br]is a terrible person,

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they can take your nude photos[br]and upload them to a porn site.

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It can be really hard to get[br]those images taken down.

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And in a lot of states,[br]you're actually better off

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if you took the images of yourself

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because then you can[br]file a copyright claim.

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Right now, if someone[br]violates your privacy,

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whether that's an individual or[br]a company or the NSA,

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you can try filing a lawsuit,[br]though you may not be successful

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because many courts assume that[br]digital privacy is just impossible.

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So they're not willing to punish[br]anyone for violating it.

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I still hear people[br]asking me all the time,

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isn't a digital image somehow blurring[br]the line between public and private

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because it's digital, right?

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No! No!

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Everything digital is not[br]just automatically public.

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That doesn't make any sense.

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As NYU legal scholar[br]Helen Nissenbaum tells us,

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we have laws and policies[br]and norms that protect

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all kinds of information that's private,[br]and it doesn't make a difference

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if it's digital or not.

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All of your health records[br]are digitized but your doctor

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can't just share them with anyone.

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All of your financial information[br]is held in digital databases,

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but your credit card company can't[br]just post your purchase history online.

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Better laws could help address[br]privacy violations after they happen,

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but one of the easiest things[br]we can all do is make personal changes

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to help protect each other's privacy.

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We're always told that privacy is our[br]own, sole, individual responsibility.

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We're told, constantly monitor[br]and update your privacy settings.

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We're told never share anything you[br]wouldn't want the entire world to see.

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This doesn't make sense.

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Digital media are social environments

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and we share things[br]with people we trust all day, every day.

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As Princeton researcher[br]Jennifer Tessie argues,

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our data and are privacy,[br]they're not just personal,

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they're actually interpersonal.

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And so one thing you can do,[br]that's really easy

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is just start asking for permission before[br]you share anyone else's information.

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If you want to post a photo[br]of someone online, ask for permission.

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If you want to forward an email thread,[br]ask for permission.

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And if you want to share someone's nude[br]selfie, obviously, ask for permission.

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These individual changes can really[br]help us protect each other's privacy,

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but we need technology companies[br]on board as well.

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These companies have very little[br]incentive to help protect our privacy

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because their business models depend on[br]us sharing everything

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with as many people as possible.

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Right now, if I send you an image,

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you can forward that[br]to anyone that you want.

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But what if I got to decide[br]if that image was forwardable or not?

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This would tell you, you don't[br]have my permission to send this image out.

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We do this kind of thing all the time[br]to protect copy right.

0:11:02.849,0:11:07.160
If you buy an e-book, you can't just[br]send it out to as many people as you want.

0:11:07.620,0:11:10.441
So why not try this with mobile phones?

0:11:11.229,0:11:15.378
What you can do is we can demand[br]that tech companies add these protections

0:11:15.814,0:11:19.041
to our devices and our platforms[br]as the default.

0:11:19.452,0:11:22.373
After all, you can choose[br]the color of your car,

0:11:22.898,0:11:25.947
but the airbags are always standard.

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If we don't think more about[br]digital privacy and consent,

0:11:32.331,0:11:34.526
there can be serious consequences.

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There was a teenager from Ohio --

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let's call her Jennifer,[br]for the sake of her privacy.

0:11:41.192,0:11:43.094
she shared nude photos of herself

0:11:43.103,0:11:46.091
with her high-school boyfriend,[br]thinking she could trust him.

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Unfortunately, he betrayed her and[br]sent her photos around the entire school.

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Jennifer was embarrassed and humiliated,

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but instead of being compassionate,[br]her classmates harassed her.

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They called her a slut and a whore.

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and they made her life miserable.

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Jennifer started missing school[br]and her grades dropped.

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Ultimately, Jennifer decided[br]to end her own life.

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Jennifer did nothing wrong.

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All she did was share a nude photo

0:12:19.998,0:12:22.267
with someone she thought[br]that she could trust.

0:12:22.638,0:12:25.005
And yet our laws tell her

0:12:25.459,0:12:29.343
that she committed a horrible crime[br]equivalent to child pornography.

0:12:29.981,0:12:31.739
Our gender norms tell her that

0:12:31.971,0:12:34.444
by producing this nude image of herself,

0:12:34.802,0:12:38.121
she somehow did the most[br]horrible, shameful thing.

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And when we assume that privacy[br]is impossible in digital media,

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we completely write-off and excuse[br]her boyfriend's bad, bad behavior.

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People are still saying all the time[br]to victims of privacy violations,

0:12:54.887,0:12:56.488
what were you thinking?

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You should have never sent that image.

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If you're trying to figure out[br]what to say instead, try this.

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Imagine you've run into your friend[br]who broke their leg skiing.

0:13:08.493,0:13:12.253
They took a risk to do something fun[br]and it didn't end well.

0:13:12.918,0:13:15.746
But you're probably not going to be[br]the jerk who says, well,

0:13:16.116,0:13:18.748
I guess you shouldn't[br]have gone skiing then.

0:13:20.302,0:13:23.595
If we think more about consent,[br]we can see that

0:13:23.880,0:13:27.075
victims of privacy violations[br]deserve our compassion,

0:13:27.628,0:13:31.678
not criminalization, shaming,[br]harassment, or punishment.

0:13:32.590,0:13:36.926
We can support victims and[br]we can prevent some privacy violations

0:13:37.119,0:13:41.045
by making these legal, individual[br]and technological changes.

0:13:41.905,0:13:47.206
Because the problem is not sexting,[br]the issue is digital privacy.

0:13:47.865,0:13:50.590
And one solution is consent.

0:13:50.956,0:13:54.349
So the next time a victim[br]of a privacy violation comes up to you,

0:13:55.265,0:13:57.074
instead of blaming them,

0:13:57.254,0:13:58.453
let's do this instead:[br]

0:13:58.453,0:14:01.833
Let's shift our ideas[br]about digital privacy and

0:14:01.833,0:14:03.776
let's respond with compassion.

0:14:04.848,0:14:06.580
Thank you.