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People have been using media to talk[br]about sex for a long time.

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Love letters, phone sex, racy polaroids.

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There's even a story of a girl who eloped[br]with a man that she met over the telegraph

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in 1886.

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Today we have sexting,[br]and I am a sexting expert.

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Not an expect sexter.

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Though, I do know what this means,[br]I think you do too.

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(Laughter)

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I have been studying sexting since [br]the media attention to it began in 2008.

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I wrote a book on the moral[br]panic about sexting.

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And here's what I found:

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most people are worrying[br]about the wrong thing.

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They're trying to just prevent[br]sexting from happening entirely.

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But let me ask you this:

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As long as it's completely consensual,[br]what's the problem with sexting?

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People are into all sorts of things[br]that you may not be into,

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like blue cheese or cilantro.

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(Laughter)

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Sexting is certainly risky,[br]like anything that's fun,

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but as long as you're not sending an image[br]to someone who doesn't want to receive it,

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there's no harm.

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What I do think is a serious problem is[br]when people share private images of others

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without their permission.

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And instead of worrying about sexting,[br]what I think we need to do

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is think a lot more about digital privacy.

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The key is consent.

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Right now most people are thinking

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about sexting without really thinking[br]about consent at all.

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Did you know we currently[br]criminalize teen sexting?

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It can be a crime because it counts[br]as child pornography,

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if there's an image of someone under 18

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and it doesn't even matter

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if they took that image of themselves[br]and shared it willingly.

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So we end up with this[br]bizarre legal situation

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where two 17-year-olds[br]can legally have sex in most U.S. states

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but they can't photograph it.

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Some states have also tried passing[br]sexting misdemeanor laws

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but these laws repeat the same problem

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because they still make[br]consensual sexting illegal.

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It doesn't make sense

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to try to ban all sexting[br]to try to address privacy violations.

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This is kind of like saying,

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let's solve the problem of date rape[br]by just making dating completely illegal.

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Most teens don't get arrested for sexting,[br]but can you guess who does?

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It's often teens who are disliked[br]by their partner's parents.

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And this can be because of class bias,[br]racism or homophobia.

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Most prosecutors are smart enough[br]not to use child pornography charges

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against teenagers but some do.

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According to researchers[br]at the University of New Hampshire

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seven percent of all child pornography[br]possession arrests are teens,

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sexting consensually with other teens.

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Child pornography is a serious crime,

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but it's just not[br]the same thing as teen sexting.

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Parents and educators are also[br]responding to sexting

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without really thinking[br]too much about consent.

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Their message to teens is often,[br]just don't do it.

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And I totally get it,[br]there are serious legal risks

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and of course,[br]that potential for privacy violations.

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And when you were a teen,

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I'm sure you did exactly[br]as you were told, right?

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You're probably thinking,[br]my kid would never sext.

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And that's true, your little angel[br]may not be sexting

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because only 33% of 16 and[br]17-year-olds are sexting.

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But, sorry, by the time they're older,[br]odds are they will be sexting.

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Every study I've seen puts the rate[br]above 50% for 18 to 24-year-olds.

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And most of the time,[br]nothing goes wrong.

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People ask me all the time things like,[br]isn't sexting just so dangerous, though,

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like you wouldn't leave your wallet[br]on a park bench

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and you expect it's gonna get stolen[br]if you do that, right?

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Here's how I think about it:

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sexting is like leaving your wallet[br]at your boyfriend's house.

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If you come back the next day

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and all the money is just gone,[br]you really need to dump that guy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So instead of criminalizing sexting to try[br]to prevent these privacy violations,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
instead we need to make consent central

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to how we think about the circulation[br]of our private information.

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Every new media technology[br]raises privacy concerns.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In fact, in the U.S. the very first[br]major debates about privacy

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were in response to technologies[br]that were relatively new at the time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the late 1800s, people were[br]worried about cameras,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which were just suddenly more portable[br]than ever before,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and newspaper gossip columns.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They were worried that the camera[br]would capture information about them,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
take it out of context[br]and widely disseminate it.

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Does this sound familiar?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's exactly what we're worrying about[br]now with social media and drone cameras.

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and, of course, sexting.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And these fears about technology,[br]they make sense because technologies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
can amplify and bring out[br]our worst qualities and behaviors.

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But there are solutions.

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And we've been here before[br]with a dangerous new technology.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In 1908, Ford introduced the Model T car.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Traffic fatality rates were rising.[br]

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was a serious problem --[br]it looks so safe, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Our first response was to try[br]to change drivers behavior,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so we developed speed limits and[br]enforced them through fines.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But over the following decades,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we started to realize the technology[br]of the car itself is not just neutral.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We could design the car to make it safer.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So in the 1920s, we got[br]shatter-resistant windshields.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the 1950s, seatbelts.[br]And in the 1990s, airbags.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All three of these areas:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
laws, individuals, industry[br]came together

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
over time to help solve the problem[br]that a new technology causes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And we can do the same thing[br]with digital privacy.

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Of course, it comes back to consent.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here's the idea.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Before anyone can distribute[br]your private information,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they should have to get your permission.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This idea of affirmative consent[br]comes from anti-rape activists who tell us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that we need consent for every sexual act.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And we have really high standards[br]for consent in a lot of other areas.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Think about having surgery.[br]Your doctor has to make sure that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you are meaningfully and knowingly[br]consenting to that medical procedure.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is not the type of consent with[br]an iTunes Terms of Service

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where you scroll to the bottom and[br]you're like, agree, agree, whatever.

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If we think more about consent,[br]we can have better privacy laws.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right now we just don't have[br]that many protections.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If your ex-husband or your ex-wife[br]is a terrible person,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they can take your nude photos[br]and upload them to a porn site.

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It can be really hard to get[br]those images taken down.

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And in a lot of states,[br]you're actually better off

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if you took the images of yourself

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because then you can[br]file a copyright claim.

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Right now, if someone[br]violates your privacy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
whether that's an individual or[br]a company or the NSA,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you can try filing a lawsuit,[br]though you may not be successful

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because many courts assume that[br]digital privacy is just impossible.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So they're not willing to punish[br]anyone for violating it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I still hear people[br]asking me all the time,

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isn't a digital image somehow blurring[br]the line between public and private

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because it's digital, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No! No!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Everything digital is not[br]just automatically public.

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That doesn't make any sense.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As NYU legal scholar[br]Helen Nissenbaum tells us,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we have laws and policies[br]and norms that protect

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
all kinds of information that's private,[br]and it doesn't make a difference

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if it's digital or not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All of your health records[br]are digitized but your doctor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
can't just share them with anyone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All of your financial information[br]is held in digital databases,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but your credit card company can't[br]just post your purchase history online.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Better laws could help address[br]privacy violations after they happen,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but one of the easiest things[br]we can all do is make personal changes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to help protect each other's privacy.

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We're always told that privacy is our[br]own, sole, individual responsibility.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We're told, constantly monitor[br]and update your privacy settings.

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We're told never share anything you[br]wouldn't want the entire world to see.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This doesn't make sense.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Digital media are social environments

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we share things[br]with people we trust all day, every day.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As Princeton researcher[br]Jennifer ?argues,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our data and are privacy,[br]they're not just personal,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they're actually interpersonal

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And so one thing you can do,[br]that's really easy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is just start asking for permission before[br]you share anyone else's information.

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If you want to post a photo[br]of someone online, ask for permission.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you want to forward an email thread,[br]ask for permission.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And if you want to share someone's nude[br]selfie, obviously, ask for permission.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
These individual changes can really[br]help us protect each other's privacy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but we need technology companies[br]on board as well.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
These companies have very little[br]incentive to help protect our privacy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because their business models depend on[br]us sharing everything

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with as many people as possible.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right now, if I send you an image,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you can forward that[br]to anyone that you want.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But what if I got to decide[br]if that image was forwardable or not?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This would tell you that you don't[br]have my permission to send this image out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We do this kind of thing all the time[br]to protect copy right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you buy an e-book, you can't just[br]send it out to as many people as you want.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So why not try this with mobile phones?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What you can do is we can demand[br]that tech companies add these protections

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to our devices and our platforms[br]as the default.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
After all, you can choose[br]the color of your car,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but the airbags are always standard.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If we don't think more about[br]digital privacy and consent,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there can be serious consequences.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There was a teenager from Ohio,[br]let's call her Jennifer,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for the sake of her privacy,[br]she shared nude photos of herself

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with her high-school boyfriend,[br]thinking she could trust him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Unfortunately, he betrayed her and[br]sent her photos around the entire school.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Jennifer was embarrassed and humiliated,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but instead of being compassionate,[br]her classmates harassed her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They called her a slut and a whore.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They made her life miserable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Jennifer started missing school[br]and her grades dropped.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ultimately, Jennifer decided[br]to end her own life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Jennifer did nothing wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All she did was share a nude photo

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with someone she thought[br]that she could trust.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And yet our laws tell her

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that she committed a horrible crime[br]equivalent to child pornography.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Our gender norms tell her that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by producing this nude image of herself,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
she somehow did this horrible,[br]shameful thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And when we assume that privacy[br]is impossible in digital media,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we completely write-off and excuse[br]her boyfriend's bad, bad behavior.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
People are still saying all the time[br]to victims of privacy violations,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what were you thinking?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You should have never sent that image.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're trying to figure out[br]what to say instead, try this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Imagine you've run into your friend[br]who broke their leg skiing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They took a risk to do something fun[br]and it didn't end well.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But you're probably not going to be[br]the jerk who says, well,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I guess you shouldn't[br]have gone skiing then.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If we think more about consent,[br]we can see that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
victims of privacy violations[br]deserve our compassion,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not criminalization, shaming,[br]harassment, or punishment.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We can support victims and[br]we can prevent some privacy violations

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by making these legal, individual[br]and technological changes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because the problem is not sexting,[br]the issue is digital privacy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And one solution is consent.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So the next time a victim[br]of a privacy violation comes up to you,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
instead of blaming them,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
let's do this instead:[br]

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let's shift our ideas[br]about digital privacy and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
let's respond with compassion.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you.