1
00:00:00,842 --> 00:00:03,004
乜嘢係父母？

2
00:00:03,999 --> 00:00:05,606
阿爸，阿媽又係乜嘢？

3
00:00:07,043 --> 00:00:09,151
呢個問題唔簡單

4
00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:12,004
今日，我哋有領養

5
00:00:12,028 --> 00:00:13,604
再婚家庭

6
00:00:13,628 --> 00:00:15,085
同代孕媽媽

7
00:00:15,846 --> 00:00:18,259
好多父母都面臨著難題

8
00:00:19,151 --> 00:00:20,680
同艱難嘅選擇

9
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:25,141
講唔講畀個细路知
精子捐贈呢件事？

10
00:00:27,322 --> 00:00:28,697
如果講， 幾時講？

11
00:00:29,176 --> 00:00:30,776
點講？

12
00:00:31,522 --> 00:00:37,383
精子捐贈人通常被稱為「親身阿爸」

13
00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:40,406
但係我哋應唔應該用「阿爸」呢個詞？

14
00:00:41,843 --> 00:00:44,248
身為一個哲學家同社會科學家

15
00:00:44,272 --> 00:00:48,494
我研究父母身份呢個問題

16
00:00:49,088 --> 00:00:52,116
今日，我想同大家講下

17
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:54,280
我同啲父母同細路
傾偈學到嘅嘢

18
00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:59,731
佢哋知道個屋企裡邊咩最緊要

19
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:02,286
就算佢哋同一般家庭有啲唔同

20
00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:08,134
我會講下佢哋點有創意咁處理難題

21
00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:13,037
亦會講下呢啲父母嘅不安

22
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,815
我哋採訪過幾對
喺根特大學附屬醫院

23
00:01:16,839 --> 00:01:20,241
接受不孕治療

24
00:01:21,075 --> 00:01:22,814
通過精子捐贈而受孕嘅夫婦

25
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,750
我哋喺呢個治療嘅
時間線上嘅兩個點

26
00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:28,066
（治療同之後 7-10 年）做採訪

27
00:01:28,994 --> 00:01:31,427
我哋包括咗因男方不育嚟尋治嘅

28
00:01:32,055 --> 00:01:35,927
異性戀夫婦

29
00:01:36,435 --> 00:01:41,553
同需要精子捐贈嘅女同性戀夫婦

30
00:01:42,996 --> 00:01:45,194
我哋亦包括佐啲細路

31
00:01:46,878 --> 00:01:48,361
我之前想知

32
00:01:48,385 --> 00:01:53,018
啲細路點定義父母同家庭

33
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:56,951
事實上，我有問佢哋呢個問題

34
00:01:58,259 --> 00:01:59,698
不過用咗唔同嘅問法

35
00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:04,096
我畫咗一棵蘋果樹

36
00:02:05,056 --> 00:02:08,403
然後以一種唔容易離題嘅方式

37
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:11,700
問佢哋一啲抽象嘅、哲學性嘅問題

38
00:02:13,332 --> 00:02:14,984
大家喺度睇到

39
00:02:15,008 --> 00:02:16,550
呢棵蘋果樹係空嘅

40
00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:20,243
呢個就係我嘅研究方法

41
00:02:20,659 --> 00:02:22,942
咁樣

42
00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:27,739
我可以盡量減少我講嘅嘢

43
00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:30,551
而將重點放喺佢哋講嘅嘢

44
00:02:32,362 --> 00:02:33,694
我問佢哋：

45
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,828
如果你嘅家庭係一顆蘋果樹
佢會係咩樣？

46
00:02:38,739 --> 00:02:42,489
佢哋就係代表

47
00:02:42,513 --> 00:02:44,120
家庭成員嘅紙蘋果寫上個名

48
00:02:44,144 --> 00:02:47,318
想挂喺樹上嘅邊度就掛嗰度

49
00:02:47,342 --> 00:02:48,912
然後我再問問題，多數細路

50
00:02:50,153 --> 00:02:53,278
會從爸爸媽媽或者兄弟姊妹度講起

51
00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,970
有個細路從 「拳師」講起

52
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,175
佢係個細路嘅阿爺屋企死咗嘅狗仔

53
00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:03,688
嗰時，冇一個細路提及精子捐贈人

54
00:03:04,465 --> 00:03:08,803
我問佢哋出世嘅故仔嗰時

55
00:03:09,161 --> 00:03:11,183
我話：「喺你出世之前，

56
00:03:11,207 --> 00:03:13,570
個屋企就得你嘅爸爸、媽媽，

57
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,872
或者媽媽同媽咪。你可唔可以

58
00:03:15,421 --> 00:03:18,478
同我講下你係點嚟到呢個屋企呢？」

59
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,721
佢哋就講畀我聽

60
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,808
一個細路話

61
00:03:23,691 --> 00:03:26,164
「我嘅阿爸阿媽冇好嘅種子，

62
00:03:26,865 --> 00:03:30,887
但係有啲好人有剩餘嘅種子，

63
00:03:31,386 --> 00:03:33,136
佢哋將啲種子帶去醫院度，

64
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,374
放喺一個大罐度。

65
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,486
我媽咪佢喺醫院

66
00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:40,081
從個罐度摞咗兩粒種子，

67
00:03:40,786 --> 00:03:42,924
一個係我，一個係我妹妹。

68
00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:45,774
佢將種植放入佢肚腩度。

69
00:03:46,161 --> 00:03:47,353
唔知點，

70
00:03:48,236 --> 00:03:50,543
佢嘅肚腩就變到好大，

71
00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:51,819
然後我就出咗世。」

72
00:03:53,289 --> 00:03:54,439
嗯

73
00:03:56,123 --> 00:04:00,191
佢哋有提到精子捐贈人時

74
00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:03,440
我就用佢哋嘅語言
問關於捐赠人嘅問題

75
00:04:03,926 --> 00:04:05,325
我話

76
00:04:05,349 --> 00:04:09,815
「如果呢個蘋果係
嗰個有種植嘅好人，

77
00:04:09,839 --> 00:04:11,172
你會點做？」

78
00:04:12,069 --> 00:04:14,427
有個男仔攞住個紙蘋果

79
00:04:14,451 --> 00:04:15,819
諗邊講

80
00:04:15,843 --> 00:04:17,088
話：

81
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:20,584
「我唔會將個蘋果放喺個樹上，

82
00:04:21,239 --> 00:04:23,132
佢唔係我屋企人，

83
00:04:24,191 --> 00:04:26,385
但係我亦唔會將佢放喺個地度，

84
00:04:26,409 --> 00:04:28,319
個地度太凍太硬。

85
00:04:29,024 --> 00:04:31,325
我覺得佢應該喺個樹幹度，

86
00:04:32,207 --> 00:04:34,550
因為佢使我哋有個屋企，

87
00:04:35,264 --> 00:04:37,218
如果冇佢（將種子放入個罐度），

88
00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:41,200
就冇我哋屋企， 咁就好慘喇，

89
00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:42,820
我就唔會喺度。」

90
00:04:45,845 --> 00:04:49,373
所以，父母都會講啲

91
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:51,154
關於屋企嘅故仔畀啲仔女聽

92
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,787
有對夫婦為咗解釋佢哋受精嘅過程

93
00:04:55,811 --> 00:04:58,334
帶咗啲仔女去農場

94
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,852
睇獸醫同奶牛接種

95
00:05:03,656 --> 00:05:05,027
有咩唔得呢？

96
00:05:05,051 --> 00:05:07,491
呢個係佢哋解釋嘅方式

97
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:10,541
佢哋自製嘅家庭敘事方式

98
00:05:10,981 --> 00:05:12,161
DIY

99
00:05:12,533 --> 00:05:14,901
我哋仲採訪咗一對自己整書

100
00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:16,380
一個細路一本書嘅夫婦

101
00:05:16,752 --> 00:05:18,274
嗰啲書真係藝術品

102
00:05:18,298 --> 00:05:21,774
寫咗夫婦喺治療過程嘅感想

103
00:05:22,192 --> 00:05:24,806
仲放埋當時喺醫院嘅泊車飛入去

104
00:05:25,553 --> 00:05:27,174
呢就係 DIY

105
00:05:27,198 --> 00:05:29,580
揾到方法、語言同畫面

106
00:05:29,604 --> 00:05:32,354
將你屋企嘅故仔話畀啲仔女知

107
00:05:33,717 --> 00:05:36,532
呢啲故仔多種多樣

108
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:39,876
但係有個共同點：

109
00:05:41,913 --> 00:05:45,134
都有講對 BB 嘅渴望

110
00:05:45,885 --> 00:05:47,563
同追求

111
00:05:48,370 --> 00:05:53,437
係關於佢哋對仔女深深嘅愛

112
00:05:55,142 --> 00:05:59,790
研究顯示， 呢啲仔女發育得好正常

113
00:05:59,814 --> 00:06:02,408
並冇比其他細路多問題

114
00:06:02,854 --> 00:06:07,275
但係，呢啲父母亦想通過啲家庭故仔

115
00:06:07,299 --> 00:06:08,961
為自己辯護

116
00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:12,639
佢哋希望佢哋嘅仔女明白

117
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,498
佢哋用呢種方式組建家庭嘅理由

118
00:06:15,865 --> 00:06:19,819
表面之下，佢哋好驚佢哋嘅仔女會

119
00:06:19,843 --> 00:06:22,085
唔認同甚至抗拒冇血緣嘅父母

120
00:06:22,511 --> 00:06:25,131
呢種擔心係情有可原

121
00:06:25,155 --> 00:06:28,196
事關我哋身處一個異性主流

122
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:29,958
同強調基因遺傳嘅社會

123
00:06:30,438 --> 00:06:31,930
一個仲係相信一個真正嘅家庭

124
00:06:31,954 --> 00:06:36,106
有一個爸爸，一個媽媽，仲有

125
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:38,467
同佢哋有血緣關係嘅仔女嘅家庭

126
00:06:39,738 --> 00:06:40,893
噢

127
00:06:42,165 --> 00:06:45,266
我想同大家分享一個男仔嘅故仔

128
00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:48,059
佢係靠捐贈出世
但唔係我哋嘅研究對象

129
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,276
有一日，佢同佢阿爸鬧交

130
00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:52,592
佢話：

131
00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,402
「你要叫我做嘢？

132
00:06:55,426 --> 00:06:57,307
你都唔係我爸爸！」

133
00:06:59,601 --> 00:07:02,983
呢就係我哋研究嘅父母最驚嘅

134
00:07:03,984 --> 00:07:07,213
呢個男仔好快就知錯
然後同佢爸爸好返

135
00:07:07,629 --> 00:07:11,400
最好玩嘅就係佢爸爸對呢件事嘅反應

136
00:07:12,169 --> 00:07:13,342
佢話：

137
00:07:13,772 --> 00:07:19,134
「成件事同我哋冇基因聯繫冇關係，

138
00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:24,462
關個仔喺青春期多啲。

139
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:26,233
到嗰個年齡就係咁㗎啦，

140
00:07:26,792 --> 00:07:28,066
而且會過去嘅。」

141
00:07:29,462 --> 00:07:31,318
呢個男人使我哋明白

142
00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:33,930
有啲事唔順利時

143
00:07:34,564 --> 00:07:36,165
唔好即刻諗

144
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,596
係因為屋企有啲唔同

145
00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:42,416
查實個個屋企都會有啲嘢唔同

146
00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:45,426
而且

147
00:07:45,818 --> 00:07:47,495
所有嘅父母都想知

148
00:07:48,412 --> 00:07:50,441
佢哋做阿爸阿媽夠唔夠稱職

149
00:07:51,164 --> 00:07:52,488
我哋研究嘅父母亦會咁問

150
00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:57,192
畢竟，佢哋都想畀仔女最好嘅嘢

151
00:07:57,748 --> 00:07:59,643
佢哋有時亦會諗

152
00:08:00,034 --> 00:08:01,810
我係咪一個真正嘅阿爸阿媽？

153
00:08:02,288 --> 00:08:06,257
佢哋喺做爸爸媽媽之前就唔確定

154
00:08:06,281 --> 00:08:07,713
個療程啱啱開始時

155
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,452
佢哋第一次去見諮詢師時

156
00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:12,841
佢哋就聽得好專心

157
00:08:12,865 --> 00:08:14,872
事關佢哋好想做得好

158
00:08:15,853 --> 00:08:17,331
甚至十年後

159
00:08:18,053 --> 00:08:20,672
佢哋仲記得當初收到嘅建議

160
00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:27,882
所以佢哋諗起嗰個諮詢師

161
00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:30,653
同佢畀嘅建議

162
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,840
我哋就討論下

163
00:08:31,864 --> 00:08:35,428
有一對女同性戀夫婦講：

164
00:08:36,627 --> 00:08:38,231
「我哋嘅仔仔問我哋︰

165
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:40,304
『我有冇阿爸？』

166
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:44,294
我哋會話：『唔，你冇阿爸。』

167
00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:47,907
但係我哋唔會再講咩，除非佢再問，

168
00:08:48,287 --> 00:08:50,315
事關佢可能未準備好接受嗰個答案。

169
00:08:50,339 --> 00:08:51,839
嗰個諮詢師都話係咁。」

170
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,520
好

171
00:08:55,091 --> 00:08:56,993
呢個同我哋一般

172
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:59,710
解答細路嘅問題好唔一樣

173
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,274
譬如「牛奶係咪喺工廠裡邊造出嚟？」

174
00:09:03,783 --> 00:09:06,945
我哋會話「唔係，
牛奶喺奶牛個度出嚟嘅。」

175
00:09:06,969 --> 00:09:08,725
然後我哋會講下農民

176
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,972
同牛奶點樣去到商店

177
00:09:11,806 --> 00:09:13,353
我哋唔會講

178
00:09:14,102 --> 00:09:17,710
「唔係，牛奶唔係喺工廠度
整出嚟嘅。」

179
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:22,472
所以就有怪事發生

180
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,854
啲細路都發覺到

181
00:09:25,571 --> 00:09:26,856
一個男仔講︰

182
00:09:27,445 --> 00:09:29,837
「我問我爸媽好多問題，

183
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,670
但係佢哋嘅反應得好奇怪。

184
00:09:32,788 --> 00:09:36,732
我喺學校有個朋友，
佢亦係捐贈受孕出世嘅。

185
00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:40,241
我有嘢想問時， 就直頭去問佢。」

186
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,968
叻仔！

187
00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:44,927
問題就咁解決咗

188
00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:48,349
但係佢嘅父母都唔覺得係咁

189
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:51,457
佢哋同個諮詢師討論建立

190
00:09:51,481 --> 00:09:53,415
一個開放式溝通嘅家庭時

191
00:09:53,439 --> 00:09:58,636
應該冇諗到呢個情況

192
00:10:00,462 --> 00:10:02,716
畀人哋意見就係奇怪

193
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:06,036
我哋同人開藥時，會先收集證據

194
00:10:06,536 --> 00:10:07,792
再做化驗

195
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,117
再做後續研究

196
00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:13,068
我哋要知道個藥丸有咩作用

197
00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:15,588
同會點影響病人嘅生活

198
00:10:16,035 --> 00:10:17,356
至於畀意見呢？

199
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,594
專家畀意見

200
00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:25,441
唔應該就係理論上好好

201
00:10:25,465 --> 00:10:26,766
或者有善意，就得喇

202
00:10:27,447 --> 00:10:30,828
畀出嘅意見應該有

203
00:10:30,852 --> 00:10:34,753
真正改善人嘅生活嘅證據

204
00:10:36,174 --> 00:10:40,737
身為一個哲學家
我想畀大家一個悖論諗下：

205
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:46,392
我建議大家唔再聽從任何建議

206
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,289
係

207
00:10:50,221 --> 00:10:53,138
（掌聲）

208
00:10:54,591 --> 00:10:57,154
我唔想講完咩錯咗就停低

209
00:10:57,178 --> 00:11:01,414
咁係對唔住我哋研究嘅咁溫暖嘅家庭

210
00:11:02,931 --> 00:11:05,561
仲記唔記得
嗰啲自製書同去農場嘅郊遊？

211
00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:09,199
父母做適合啲仔女嘅嘢時

212
00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,145
佢哋做得好叻

213
00:11:12,391 --> 00:11:16,034
我想大家記住，作為家庭嘅一份子

214
00:11:16,058 --> 00:11:18,549
無論個屋企係咩形式

215
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:24,277
屋企人需要互相關愛

216
00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:28,870
冇專業人士嘅指導

217
00:11:29,644 --> 00:11:31,946
我哋都會做得好好

218
00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:34,695
雖然可能會好難

219
00:11:35,038 --> 00:11:37,908
時不時，仲要聽下其他人嘅意見

220
00:11:39,209 --> 00:11:40,480
所以

221
00:11:40,504 --> 00:11:42,527
記住三件事

222
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,047
聽取適合你屋企人嘅意見

223
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,681
記住，你係專家

224
00:11:51,681 --> 00:11:54,681
事關呢個係你同你家人嘅生活

225
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:55,965
收屘

226
00:11:56,478 --> 00:12:00,468
相信你自己嘅能力同創意

227
00:12:01,027 --> 00:12:04,372
你自己搞得掂

228
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:06,413
多謝

229
00:12:06,437 --> 00:12:12,915
（鼓掌）