0:00:00.842,0:00:03.004
乜嘢係父母？

0:00:03.999,0:00:05.606
阿爸，阿媽又係乜嘢？

0:00:07.043,0:00:09.151
呢個問題唔簡單

0:00:09.630,0:00:12.004
今日，我哋有領養

0:00:12.028,0:00:13.604
再婚家庭

0:00:13.628,0:00:15.085
同代孕媽媽

0:00:15.846,0:00:18.259
好多父母都面臨著難題

0:00:19.151,0:00:20.680
同艱難嘅選擇

0:00:21.888,0:00:25.141
講唔講畀個细路知[br]精子捐贈呢件事？

0:00:27.322,0:00:28.697
如果講， 幾時講？

0:00:29.176,0:00:30.776
點講？

0:00:31.522,0:00:37.383
精子捐贈人通常被稱為「親身阿爸」

0:00:37.407,0:00:40.406
但係我哋應唔應該用「阿爸」呢個詞？

0:00:41.843,0:00:44.248
身為一個哲學家同社會科學家

0:00:44.272,0:00:48.494
我研究父母身份呢個問題

0:00:49.088,0:00:52.116
今日，我想同大家講下

0:00:52.140,0:00:54.280
我同啲父母同細路[br]傾偈學到嘅嘢

0:00:55.377,0:00:59.731
佢哋知道個屋企裡邊咩最緊要

0:00:59.755,0:01:02.286
就算佢哋同一般家庭有啲唔同

0:01:03.133,0:01:08.134
我會講下佢哋點有創意咁處理難題

0:01:09.287,0:01:13.037
亦會講下呢啲父母嘅不安

0:01:15.284,0:01:16.815
我哋採訪過幾對[br]喺根特大學附屬醫院

0:01:16.839,0:01:20.241
接受不孕治療

0:01:21.075,0:01:22.814
通過精子捐贈而受孕嘅夫婦

0:01:23.183,0:01:24.750
我哋喺呢個治療嘅[br]時間線上嘅兩個點

0:01:24.774,0:01:28.066
（治療同之後 7-10 年）做採訪

0:01:28.994,0:01:31.427
我哋包括咗因男方不育嚟尋治嘅

0:01:32.055,0:01:35.927
異性戀夫婦

0:01:36.435,0:01:41.553
同需要精子捐贈嘅女同性戀夫婦

0:01:42.996,0:01:45.194
我哋亦包括佐啲細路

0:01:46.878,0:01:48.361
我之前想知

0:01:48.385,0:01:53.018
啲細路點定義父母同家庭

0:01:54.150,0:01:56.951
事實上，我有問佢哋呢個問題

0:01:58.259,0:01:59.698
不過用咗唔同嘅問法

0:02:01.437,0:02:04.096
我畫咗一棵蘋果樹

0:02:05.056,0:02:08.403
然後以一種唔容易離題嘅方式

0:02:08.427,0:02:11.700
問佢哋一啲抽象嘅、哲學性嘅問題

0:02:13.332,0:02:14.984
大家喺度睇到

0:02:15.008,0:02:16.550
呢棵蘋果樹係空嘅

0:02:17.630,0:02:20.243
呢個就係我嘅研究方法

0:02:20.659,0:02:22.942
咁樣

0:02:22.966,0:02:27.739
我可以盡量減少我講嘅嘢

0:02:28.533,0:02:30.551
而將重點放喺佢哋講嘅嘢

0:02:32.362,0:02:33.694
我問佢哋：

0:02:34.738,0:02:37.828
如果你嘅家庭係一顆蘋果樹[br]佢會係咩樣？

0:02:38.739,0:02:42.489
佢哋就係代表

0:02:42.513,0:02:44.120
家庭成員嘅紙蘋果寫上個名

0:02:44.144,0:02:47.318
想挂喺樹上嘅邊度就掛嗰度

0:02:47.342,0:02:48.912
然後我再問問題，多數細路

0:02:50.153,0:02:53.278
會從爸爸媽媽或者兄弟姊妹度講起

0:02:53.806,0:02:55.970
有個細路從 「拳師」講起

0:02:56.667,0:02:59.175
佢係個細路嘅阿爺屋企死咗嘅狗仔

0:02:59.830,0:03:03.688
嗰時，冇一個細路提及精子捐贈人

0:03:04.465,0:03:08.803
我問佢哋出世嘅故仔嗰時

0:03:09.161,0:03:11.183
我話：「喺你出世之前，

0:03:11.207,0:03:13.570
個屋企就得你嘅爸爸、媽媽，

0:03:13.594,0:03:14.872
或者媽媽同媽咪。你可唔可以

0:03:15.421,0:03:18.478
同我講下你係點嚟到呢個屋企呢？」

0:03:19.282,0:03:20.721
佢哋就講畀我聽

0:03:21.602,0:03:22.808
一個細路話

0:03:23.691,0:03:26.164
「我嘅阿爸阿媽冇好嘅種子，

0:03:26.865,0:03:30.887
但係有啲好人有剩餘嘅種子，

0:03:31.386,0:03:33.136
佢哋將啲種子帶去醫院度，

0:03:33.160,0:03:35.374
放喺一個大罐度。

0:03:36.249,0:03:37.486
我媽咪佢喺醫院

0:03:37.510,0:03:40.081
從個罐度摞咗兩粒種子，

0:03:40.786,0:03:42.924
一個係我，一個係我妹妹。

0:03:43.725,0:03:45.774
佢將種植放入佢肚腩度。

0:03:46.161,0:03:47.353
唔知點，

0:03:48.236,0:03:50.543
佢嘅肚腩就變到好大，

0:03:50.567,0:03:51.819
然後我就出咗世。」

0:03:53.289,0:03:54.439
嗯

0:03:56.123,0:04:00.191
佢哋有提到精子捐贈人時

0:04:00.215,0:04:03.440
我就用佢哋嘅語言[br]問關於捐赠人嘅問題

0:04:03.926,0:04:05.325
我話

0:04:05.349,0:04:09.815
「如果呢個蘋果係[br]嗰個有種植嘅好人，

0:04:09.839,0:04:11.172
你會點做？」

0:04:12.069,0:04:14.427
有個男仔攞住個紙蘋果

0:04:14.451,0:04:15.819
諗邊講

0:04:15.843,0:04:17.088
話：

0:04:17.890,0:04:20.584
「我唔會將個蘋果放喺個樹上，

0:04:21.239,0:04:23.132
佢唔係我屋企人，

0:04:24.191,0:04:26.385
但係我亦唔會將佢放喺個地度，

0:04:26.409,0:04:28.319
個地度太凍太硬。

0:04:29.024,0:04:31.325
我覺得佢應該喺個樹幹度，

0:04:32.207,0:04:34.550
因為佢使我哋有個屋企，

0:04:35.264,0:04:37.218
如果冇佢（將種子放入個罐度），

0:04:37.242,0:04:41.200
就冇我哋屋企， 咁就好慘喇，

0:04:41.224,0:04:42.820
我就唔會喺度。」

0:04:45.845,0:04:49.373
所以，父母都會講啲

0:04:49.397,0:04:51.154
關於屋企嘅故仔畀啲仔女聽

0:04:52.660,0:04:55.787
有對夫婦為咗解釋佢哋受精嘅過程

0:04:55.811,0:04:58.334
帶咗啲仔女去農場

0:04:59.291,0:05:01.852
睇獸醫同奶牛接種

0:05:03.656,0:05:05.027
有咩唔得呢？

0:05:05.051,0:05:07.491
呢個係佢哋解釋嘅方式

0:05:07.515,0:05:10.541
佢哋自製嘅家庭敘事方式

0:05:10.981,0:05:12.161
DIY

0:05:12.533,0:05:14.901
我哋仲採訪咗一對自己整書

0:05:14.925,0:05:16.380
一個細路一本書嘅夫婦

0:05:16.752,0:05:18.274
嗰啲書真係藝術品

0:05:18.298,0:05:21.774
寫咗夫婦喺治療過程嘅感想

0:05:22.192,0:05:24.806
仲放埋當時喺醫院嘅泊車飛入去

0:05:25.553,0:05:27.174
呢就係 DIY

0:05:27.198,0:05:29.580
揾到方法、語言同畫面

0:05:29.604,0:05:32.354
將你屋企嘅故仔話畀啲仔女知

0:05:33.717,0:05:36.532
呢啲故仔多種多樣

0:05:36.940,0:05:39.876
但係有個共同點：

0:05:41.913,0:05:45.134
都有講對 BB 嘅渴望

0:05:45.885,0:05:47.563
同追求

0:05:48.370,0:05:53.437
係關於佢哋對仔女深深嘅愛

0:05:55.142,0:05:59.790
研究顯示， 呢啲仔女發育得好正常

0:05:59.814,0:06:02.408
並冇比其他細路多問題

0:06:02.854,0:06:07.275
但係，呢啲父母亦想通過啲家庭故仔

0:06:07.299,0:06:08.961
為自己辯護

0:06:09.505,0:06:12.639
佢哋希望佢哋嘅仔女明白

0:06:12.663,0:06:14.498
佢哋用呢種方式組建家庭嘅理由

0:06:15.865,0:06:19.819
表面之下，佢哋好驚佢哋嘅仔女會

0:06:19.843,0:06:22.085
唔認同甚至抗拒冇血緣嘅父母

0:06:22.511,0:06:25.131
呢種擔心係情有可原

0:06:25.155,0:06:28.196
事關我哋身處一個異性主流

0:06:28.220,0:06:29.958
同強調基因遺傳嘅社會

0:06:30.438,0:06:31.930
一個仲係相信一個真正嘅家庭

0:06:31.954,0:06:36.106
有一個爸爸，一個媽媽，仲有

0:06:36.130,0:06:38.467
同佢哋有血緣關係嘅仔女嘅家庭

0:06:39.738,0:06:40.893
噢

0:06:42.165,0:06:45.266
我想同大家分享一個男仔嘅故仔

0:06:45.290,0:06:48.059
佢係靠捐贈出世[br]但唔係我哋嘅研究對象

0:06:48.658,0:06:51.276
有一日，佢同佢阿爸鬧交

0:06:51.300,0:06:52.592
佢話：

0:06:53.305,0:06:55.402
「你要叫我做嘢？

0:06:55.426,0:06:57.307
你都唔係我爸爸！」

0:06:59.601,0:07:02.983
呢就係我哋研究嘅父母最驚嘅

0:07:03.984,0:07:07.213
呢個男仔好快就知錯[br]然後同佢爸爸好返

0:07:07.629,0:07:11.400
最好玩嘅就係佢爸爸對呢件事嘅反應

0:07:12.169,0:07:13.342
佢話：

0:07:13.772,0:07:19.134
「成件事同我哋冇基因聯繫冇關係，

0:07:19.765,0:07:24.462
關個仔喺青春期多啲。

0:07:24.470,0:07:26.233
到嗰個年齡就係咁㗎啦，

0:07:26.792,0:07:28.066
而且會過去嘅。」

0:07:29.462,0:07:31.318
呢個男人使我哋明白

0:07:31.342,0:07:33.930
有啲事唔順利時

0:07:34.564,0:07:36.165
唔好即刻諗

0:07:36.189,0:07:38.596
係因為屋企有啲唔同

0:07:39.330,0:07:42.416
查實個個屋企都會有啲嘢唔同

0:07:43.936,0:07:45.426
而且

0:07:45.818,0:07:47.495
所有嘅父母都想知

0:07:48.412,0:07:50.441
佢哋做阿爸阿媽夠唔夠稱職

0:07:51.164,0:07:52.488
我哋研究嘅父母亦會咁問

0:07:53.099,0:07:57.192
畢竟，佢哋都想畀仔女最好嘅嘢

0:07:57.748,0:07:59.643
佢哋有時亦會諗

0:08:00.034,0:08:01.810
我係咪一個真正嘅阿爸阿媽？

0:08:02.288,0:08:06.257
佢哋喺做爸爸媽媽之前就唔確定

0:08:06.281,0:08:07.713
個療程啱啱開始時

0:08:07.737,0:08:09.452
佢哋第一次去見諮詢師時

0:08:10.146,0:08:12.841
佢哋就聽得好專心

0:08:12.865,0:08:14.872
事關佢哋好想做得好

0:08:15.853,0:08:17.331
甚至十年後

0:08:18.053,0:08:20.672
佢哋仲記得當初收到嘅建議

0:08:24.981,0:08:27.882
所以佢哋諗起嗰個諮詢師

0:08:28.854,0:08:30.653
同佢畀嘅建議

0:08:30.677,0:08:31.840
我哋就討論下

0:08:31.864,0:08:35.428
有一對女同性戀夫婦講：

0:08:36.627,0:08:38.231
「我哋嘅仔仔問我哋︰

0:08:38.255,0:08:40.304
『我有冇阿爸？』

0:08:41.482,0:08:44.294
我哋會話：『唔，你冇阿爸。』

0:08:44.839,0:08:47.907
但係我哋唔會再講咩，除非佢再問，

0:08:48.287,0:08:50.315
事關佢可能未準備好接受嗰個答案。

0:08:50.339,0:08:51.839
嗰個諮詢師都話係咁。」

0:08:53.350,0:08:54.520
好

0:08:55.091,0:08:56.993
呢個同我哋一般

0:08:57.017,0:08:59.710
解答細路嘅問題好唔一樣

0:09:00.473,0:09:03.274
譬如「牛奶係咪喺工廠裡邊造出嚟？」

0:09:03.783,0:09:06.945
我哋會話「唔係，[br]牛奶喺奶牛個度出嚟嘅。」

0:09:06.969,0:09:08.725
然後我哋會講下農民

0:09:08.749,0:09:10.972
同牛奶點樣去到商店

0:09:11.806,0:09:13.353
我哋唔會講

0:09:14.102,0:09:17.710
「唔係，牛奶唔係喺工廠度[br]整出嚟嘅。」

0:09:20.042,0:09:22.472
所以就有怪事發生

0:09:22.496,0:09:24.854
啲細路都發覺到

0:09:25.571,0:09:26.856
一個男仔講︰

0:09:27.445,0:09:29.837
「我問我爸媽好多問題，

0:09:29.861,0:09:31.670
但係佢哋嘅反應得好奇怪。

0:09:32.788,0:09:36.732
我喺學校有個朋友，[br]佢亦係捐贈受孕出世嘅。

0:09:37.241,0:09:40.241
我有嘢想問時， 就直頭去問佢。」

0:09:41.760,0:09:42.968
叻仔！

0:09:43.630,0:09:44.927
問題就咁解決咗

0:09:45.765,0:09:48.349
但係佢嘅父母都唔覺得係咁

0:09:48.875,0:09:51.457
佢哋同個諮詢師討論建立

0:09:51.481,0:09:53.415
一個開放式溝通嘅家庭時

0:09:53.439,0:09:58.636
應該冇諗到呢個情況

0:10:00.462,0:10:02.716
畀人哋意見就係奇怪

0:10:02.740,0:10:06.036
我哋同人開藥時，會先收集證據

0:10:06.536,0:10:07.792
再做化驗

0:10:07.816,0:10:09.117
再做後續研究

0:10:09.141,0:10:13.068
我哋要知道個藥丸有咩作用

0:10:13.092,0:10:15.588
同會點影響病人嘅生活

0:10:16.035,0:10:17.356
至於畀意見呢？

0:10:18.748,0:10:20.594
專家畀意見

0:10:20.618,0:10:25.441
唔應該就係理論上好好

0:10:25.465,0:10:26.766
或者有善意，就得喇

0:10:27.447,0:10:30.828
畀出嘅意見應該有

0:10:30.852,0:10:34.753
真正改善人嘅生活嘅證據

0:10:36.174,0:10:40.737
身為一個哲學家[br]我想畀大家一個悖論諗下：

0:10:42.308,0:10:46.392
我建議大家唔再聽從任何建議

0:10:47.897,0:10:49.289
係

0:10:50.221,0:10:53.138
（掌聲）

0:10:54.591,0:10:57.154
我唔想講完咩錯咗就停低

0:10:57.178,0:11:01.414
咁係對唔住我哋研究嘅咁溫暖嘅家庭

0:11:02.931,0:11:05.561
仲記唔記得[br]嗰啲自製書同去農場嘅郊遊？

0:11:05.585,0:11:09.199
父母做適合啲仔女嘅嘢時

0:11:09.572,0:11:11.145
佢哋做得好叻

0:11:12.391,0:11:16.034
我想大家記住，作為家庭嘅一份子

0:11:16.058,0:11:18.549
無論個屋企係咩形式

0:11:18.930,0:11:24.277
屋企人需要互相關愛

0:11:25.409,0:11:28.870
冇專業人士嘅指導

0:11:29.644,0:11:31.946
我哋都會做得好好

0:11:32.986,0:11:34.695
雖然可能會好難

0:11:35.038,0:11:37.908
時不時，仲要聽下其他人嘅意見

0:11:39.209,0:11:40.480
所以

0:11:40.504,0:11:42.527
記住三件事

0:11:43.760,0:11:47.047
聽取適合你屋企人嘅意見

0:11:48.008,0:11:51.681
記住，你係專家

0:11:51.681,0:11:54.681
事關呢個係你同你家人嘅生活

0:11:54.681,0:11:55.965
收屘

0:11:56.478,0:12:00.468
相信你自己嘅能力同創意

0:12:01.027,0:12:04.372
你自己搞得掂

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多謝

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（鼓掌）