1
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[Eddie Izzard:] You can't do that in Church of England.

2
00:00:01,872 --> 00:00:05,873
You can't say you must have tea and cake with the vicar. Or you die!

3
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:08,177
You can't have extreme points of view.

4
00:00:08,177 --> 00:00:10,640
You know the Spanish Inquisition wouldn't have worked with Church of England

5
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,110
"Talk! You Talk!'

6
00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:13,215
"But it hurts"

7
00:00:13,215 --> 00:00:14,720
" Well loosen it up a bit will you"

8
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:19,072
[audience laugh]

9
00:00:20,042 --> 00:00:22,163
[Eddie:] That's what it will be : "Tea and cake or death!"

10
00:00:22,163 --> 00:00:23,821
Tea and cake or death!

11
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:24,815
[laughter]

12
00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:26,601
Tea and cake or death!

13
00:00:26,601 --> 00:00:27,599
Students with their tea and cake or death!

14
00:00:27,599 --> 00:00:28,603
Tea and cake or death!

15
00:00:28,603 --> 00:00:30,646
Little red cook book. Little red cook book.

16
00:00:30,646 --> 00:00:32,268
[laughter]

17
00:00:32,715 --> 00:00:34,905
[Eddie:] Because cake or death?

18
00:00:34,905 --> 00:00:37,341
That's a pretty easy question - anyone can answer that.

19
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,366
"Cake or death!?"

20
00:00:38,366 --> 00:00:39,911
"Ahh cake please."

21
00:00:39,911 --> 00:00:42,268
[laughter]

22
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:46,110
"Very well! Give him cake."

23
00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:49,466
"Oh thanks very much. It's very nice."

24
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,832
[laughter]

25
00:00:52,832 --> 00:00:55,225
"You. Cake or death?"

26
00:00:55,225 --> 00:00:56,536
"Ah cake for me too please."

27
00:00:56,536 --> 00:00:58,192
[laughter]

28
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:03,358
"Very well. Give him cake too."

29
00:01:03,358 --> 00:01:05,797
"We're gonna run out of cake at this rate."

30
00:01:05,797 --> 00:01:08,692
[laughter]

31
00:01:08,692 --> 00:01:10,726
"You. Cake or death?"

32
00:01:10,726 --> 00:01:14,525
"Ah death please. No cake! Cake! Cake!"

33
00:01:14,525 --> 00:01:16,992
"You said death first. Ahhh!"

34
00:01:16,992 --> 00:01:19,227
"No I meant cake."

35
00:01:19,227 --> 00:01:21,626
"Oh alright."

36
00:01:21,626 --> 00:01:23,608
"You're lucky I'm Church of England."

37
00:01:23,608 --> 00:01:24,903
[laughter]

38
00:01:24,903 --> 00:01:25,411
"Cake or death?'

39
00:01:25,411 --> 00:01:26,817
"Ah cake please."

40
00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:33,646
'Well we're out of cake. We only had three left - we didn't expect such a rush."

41
00:01:33,646 --> 00:01:35,223
"So what do you want?"

42
00:01:35,223 --> 00:01:38,563
"So my choice is 'or death'?"

43
00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:42,024
"Well I'll have the chicken then please."

44
00:01:42,024 --> 00:01:43,798
"Tastes of human sir."

45
00:01:43,798 --> 00:01:45,432
"Would you like a white wine?"

46
00:01:45,432 --> 00:01:47,433
"Oh, thank you, thank you very much"

47
00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:49,622
"Thank you for flying Church of England. Cake or death?"

48
00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:50,000
[applause]