[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.42,0:00:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me tell you about my mom.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.00,0:00:17.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mom was 42 years old when I was born,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.29,0:00:22.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she started exercising\Nfor the first time in her life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.30,0:00:25.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She started by running around the block,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.79,0:00:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then she started doing 5K races,\Nand then she started doing 10K races.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.21,0:00:35.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after that, she ran a marathon,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.40,0:00:39.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and after that, my mom did a triathlon.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.79,0:00:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the time she was 57 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.29,0:00:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my mom was trekking uphill\Nto the base camp of Mt. Everest.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.05,0:00:53.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.92,0:00:55.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let me tell you about my dad.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.30,0:00:58.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.79,0:01:05.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was a kid,\Nmy dad used to take me to science classes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.50,0:01:11.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was also my calculus teacher\Nin high school.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.40,0:01:13.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.60,0:01:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to crawl under the desk.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.90,0:01:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.70,0:01:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned something important from my mom:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.00,0:01:22.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The value of health.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.00,0:01:26.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I learned something\Nimportant from my dad:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.50,0:01:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the value of science.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.21,0:01:35.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And these two values have guided me\Non my trek through life,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.88,0:01:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they've helped me appreciate\Nan epidemic that we are all facing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.30,0:01:41.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's not Ebola.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.50,0:01:46.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, it is the epidemic\Nof unhealthy living.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.79,0:01:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A half billion people worldwide are obese.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.58,0:01:56.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you would think that 50 years after\Nthe first U.S. Surgeon General's report
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.92,0:02:02.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the dangers of tobacco was published\Nwe'd be beyond the problem of smoking.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.71,0:02:08.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, a billion people\Nworldwide use tobacco.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.29,0:02:14.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tobacco and obesity\Nare two of the most preventable causes
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.90,0:02:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of premature death.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.00,0:02:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Solving these problems is like\Ntrying to solve a jigsaw puzzle.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.42,0:02:25.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We engage in unhealthy behaviors\Nbecause of our genetics,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.79,0:02:28.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of brain neurotransmitters,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.13,0:02:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of environmental influences\Nsuch as peers and the media.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.00,0:02:35.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each of those pieces of the puzzle
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.29,0:02:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are not things that you and I\Ncan solve on our own.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.92,0:02:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there is one piece of this puzzle\Nthat may hold the key:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.29,0:02:52.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our choices about what we do\Nwith our cravings to engage
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.16,0:02:55.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in addictive behaviors\Nlike smoking or overeating.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.71,0:02:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our choices.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.79,0:03:03.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a new science of self-control
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.00,0:03:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that may hold the key to reversing\Nthese epidemics.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.50,0:03:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called willingness.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.21,0:03:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Willingness means allowing\Nyour cravings to come and to go,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.21,0:03:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while not acting on them by smoking\Nor eating unhealthy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.08,0:03:28.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But actually, I'm not talking about\Nwillpower, and I'm not talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.50,0:03:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"power through your cravings."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.79,0:03:34.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, I'm talking about\Na different notion of cravings
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.92,0:03:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that looks like this:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.26,0:03:42.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dropping the struggle with your cravings.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.21,0:03:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Opening up to them,\Nletting them be there,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.10,0:03:52.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and making peace with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.50,0:03:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now at this point\Nyou may be very skeptical.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.90,0:03:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.00,0:04:04.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was when I first heard about it\Nyears ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.08,0:04:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A friend of mine came to me\Nwith a book on willingness.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.67,0:04:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "Jonathan,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.12,0:04:15.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this book will change your life forever!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.71,0:04:23.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said "Oh, OK...\NYeah... yeah, I'll check it out."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.00,0:04:29.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I went through it and thought,\N"Nah, this is a bunch of psycho-babble,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.40,0:04:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and tossed it aside.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.71,0:04:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until some years later when my wife
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.08,0:04:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,brought me to a workshop on willingness\Nat the University of Washington,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.20,0:04:41.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was blown away.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.79,0:04:44.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then I read the book,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.50,0:04:46.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I read a lot of books\Non willingness,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.75,0:04:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I got trained in it,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.79,0:04:53.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what I learned was\Nthat willingness is part of acceptance
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.08,0:04:57.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy\Napproach to behavior change.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.40,0:04:59.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a broad approach to behavior change
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.42,0:05:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's being used to help people\Nwith anxiety disorders, with addictions
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.21,0:05:05.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even some innovative companies
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.92,0:05:09.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are now using it to help improve\Ntheir employees' performance
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.09,0:05:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and reduce their stress.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.50,0:05:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, to understand why I was blown away,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.42,0:05:17.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to understand\Nthe world I live in.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.29,0:05:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my research world,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.21,0:05:23.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a common way you help people\Nquit smoking and lose weight
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.92,0:05:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is you teach them to avoid their cravings.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.29,0:05:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Avoid thinking about smoking,\Ndistract yourself from food cravings.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.71,0:05:36.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a song from a Broadway show\Nthat captures this perfectly.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.42,0:05:38.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It goes like this:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.00,0:05:44.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Singing) When you start to get confused\Nbecause of thoughts in your head,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.00,0:05:47.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't feel those feelings,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.88,0:05:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hold them in instead.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.29,0:05:57.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Turn it off like a light switch\Njust go click.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.30,0:05:59.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We do it all the time
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.59,0:06:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're feeling certain feelings\Nthat just don't seem right.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.88,0:06:08.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Treat those pesky feelings\Nlike a reading light and turn them off.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.20,0:06:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.29,0:06:12.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.71,0:06:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all live in this world,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.29,0:06:22.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the song we keep hearing is\N"turn off the bad feelings."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.00,0:06:28.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, let's take a look at these cookies.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.58,0:06:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.79,0:06:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They just came out of the oven\Nooh, they are so good!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.70,0:06:39.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah, they're so delicious.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.71,0:06:43.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mm-mm, just feel that craving\Nto eat those cookies.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.50,0:06:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, they're lovely, they're so good.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.71,0:06:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, turn it off!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.29,0:06:50.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.20,0:06:53.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Turn it off!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.21,0:06:56.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want those cookies\Neven more now, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.79,0:07:00.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see the futility\Nof trying to turn it off.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.33,0:07:02.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't turn it off!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.29,0:07:04.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And maybe you don't have to.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.79,0:07:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe, you can leave the light on.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.50,0:07:11.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here is how:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.71,0:07:18.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My research lab at the Fred Hutchinson\NCancer Research Center, here in Seattle,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.50,0:07:21.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is conducting randomized clinical trials
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.79,0:07:26.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see if showing people\Nhow to be willing to have their cravings
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.79,0:07:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is effective for quitting smoking.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.29,0:07:32.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are conducting trials\Nand face-to-face interventions
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.71,0:07:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a telephone quit smoking hotline\Nand a website called webquit.org
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.21,0:07:42.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in an app called SmartQuit.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.00,0:07:47.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These technologies have the potential\Nto reach millions of people
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.42,0:07:50.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with interventions\Nthat could save their lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.29,0:07:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's pretty amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.92,0:07:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let me tell you about the data.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.79,0:08:01.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you pool together the results\Nfrom six clinical trials,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.92,0:08:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all six that have been published to date,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.21,0:08:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,including trials\Nconducted by our colleagues,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.08,0:08:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what we see is that for the people\Nwho were assigned
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.58,0:08:13.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the avoidance approach -\Navoiding your cravings -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.63,0:08:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of them quit smoking,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.00,0:08:18.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it varied depending on the study.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.79,0:08:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, for the people who were randomly\Nassigned to the willingness condition,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.46,0:08:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,twice as many quit smoking.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.20,0:08:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Very, very encouraging.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.79,0:08:35.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, of course, the data only tell us\None small part of the story.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.08,0:08:38.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, to help you see willingness in action,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.79,0:08:42.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to weave together\Nexperiences I've had
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.96,0:08:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in counseling people for quitting smoking.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.58,0:08:49.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'll together refer to them\Nas one person
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.10,0:08:50.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we'll just call Jane.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.92,0:08:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, as is typical of people who come in\Nto want help for quitting smoking,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.10,0:08:58.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jane was a 45-year-old person
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.29,0:09:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who started smoking\Nwhen she was a teenager.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.58,0:09:05.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She tried to quit smoking several times\Nand was not successful.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.00,0:09:08.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, she was very skeptical\Nthat anything "new"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.42,0:09:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was going to be helpful\Nto her for quitting,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.92,0:09:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yet she was really hopeful\Nthat this time would be different.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.42,0:09:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, the first thing that I showed Jane\Nwas to be willing,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.88,0:09:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is to be aware,\Nof her cravings in her body.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.42,0:09:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So to notice where she felt cravings\Nin her body.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.30,0:09:26.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what I did was I asked her
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.00,0:09:31.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to journal that, and just to track\Nthe intensity over time,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.58,0:09:33.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to see if she'd smoke afterwards.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.50,0:09:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in the middle of explaining this,\Nshe stops me and says,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.92,0:09:41.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What are you talking about?\NI don't have cravings, I just smoke!"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.50,0:09:47.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I said, "Well, why don't you try it,\Nand we'll see what happens,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.21,0:09:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if it doesn't work,\Nwe'll try something else."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.63,0:09:52.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she came back a week later\Nand she said,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.05,0:09:56.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know, I've been tracking my cravings,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.39,0:10:00.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been tracking them all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.79,0:10:04.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now I can't stop\Nthinking about smoking!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.40,0:10:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.08,0:10:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What am I supposed to do?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.29,0:10:13.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, before I tell you my answer,\Nlet's look behind the scenes.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.71,0:10:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, what was probably going on here
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.68,0:10:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was that Jane\Nwas having cravings all along,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.25,0:10:22.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and like a lot of us,\Nshe was living on autopilot.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.21,0:10:25.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.29,0:10:29.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You wake up in the morning,\Nyou smoke a cigarette,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.71,0:10:31.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have a cup of coffee,\Nyou smoke a cigarette,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.01,0:10:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you get in the car, you smoke a cigarette.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.38,0:10:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're often just not aware of\Nwhat we think, what we feel before we act.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.50,0:10:41.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, my answer to Jane was to be willing,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.92,0:10:44.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one of the ways\NI showed her to do that
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.11,0:10:47.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was with an exercise called\N"I am having the thought".
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.00,0:10:53.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, one of Jane's thoughts\Nbefore she had a cigarette was,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.58,0:10:56.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm feeling a lot of stress right now,\NI really need a cigarette."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.88,0:10:58.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I asked her to add the phrase
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.42,0:11:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm having the thought" like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.92,0:11:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm having the thought
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.16,0:11:05.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm feeling a lot of stress right now\NI really need a cigarette."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.51,0:11:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I asked her to add the phrase\N"I'm noticing I'm having the thought,"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.42,0:11:12.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so "I'm noticing\Nthat I'm having the thought
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.92,0:11:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm feeling\Na lot of stress right now,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.92,0:11:16.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really need a cigarette."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.33,0:11:21.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, we can all do an exercise like this\Nwhen we have any kind of negative thought.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.92,0:11:26.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like for my thought\Nthat "I'm boring all of you with my talk"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.20,0:11:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.71,0:11:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm having the thought\Nthat I'm boring all of you with my talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.21,0:11:35.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what this exercise did\Nis it gave me a little bit of space
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.50,0:11:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between me and my thoughts.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.92,0:11:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's in that space
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.08,0:11:45.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I can choose not to run off\Nthe stage in front of 1,500 people.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.87,0:11:47.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.42,0:11:50.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the fact is we don't act\Non every thought we have,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.71,0:11:54.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because if we did, we'd all be\Nin a whole lot of trouble.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.35,0:11:56.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.42,0:12:00.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, this was helpful to Jane,\Nbut there was something else
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.21,0:12:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was really difficult for Jane.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.21,0:12:05.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt a lot of compassion\Nfor her about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.21,0:12:08.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was the judgment that she felt
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.58,0:12:11.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from people when she would be\Noutside smoking a cigarette.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.50,0:12:17.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The criticism from her husband\Nfor being a smoker,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.50,0:12:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the self-loathing\Nthat she developed about smoking.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.29,0:12:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she dealt with this shame\Nby having a cigarette,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.71,0:12:32.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which gave her relief temporarily\Nuntil the shame came back.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.92,0:12:35.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I said to Jane,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.58,0:12:41.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What would it be like\Nif we tried to honor this feeling of shame
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.79,0:12:44.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as part of the human experience?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.71,0:12:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you had a close friend\Nwho is feeling shame about smoking,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.60,0:12:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said to Jane,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.92,0:12:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would you offer this friend\Nas words of caring and kindness,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.29,0:13:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and could you then offer those words\Nto yourself, Jane?"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.79,0:13:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she looked up,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.29,0:13:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she had this look of this temporary\Nrespite from the shame,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.58,0:13:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which made it just\Na little bit easier next time
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.92,0:13:17.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to act on the craving.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.08,0:13:21.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, here is the secret to self-control:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.71,0:13:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the secret to self-control\Nis to give up control.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.92,0:13:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because otherwise,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.00,0:13:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we get into a tug-of-war with a monster,\Na craving monster.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.42,0:13:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the craving monster says,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.08,0:13:40.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Come on, smoke a cigarette.\NCome on, have that cookie. Come on!"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.50,0:13:42.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're on the other side saying,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.30,0:13:45.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No craving monster,\NI'm going to distract myself from you,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.17,0:13:47.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to ignore you,\Nno, no, no, no."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.17,0:13:50.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the craving monster says,\N"No, no, come on, you know you want it!"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.55,0:13:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're just back here
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.83,0:13:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're going back and forth\Nand back and forth
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.24,0:13:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pretty soon the craving monster\Noverpowers you
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.74,0:13:59.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,, you have that cookie,\Nyou have that cigarette,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.32,0:14:01.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until the craving monster comes back.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.42,0:14:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you're in the tug-of-war again\Ndoing what we've learned how to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.29,0:14:08.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.20,0:14:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unless you drop the rope.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.20,0:14:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what you discover
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.54,0:14:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that if you just allow\Nthe monster to be,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.71,0:14:19.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to occupy a space in your body,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.79,0:14:21.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you discover in a few minutes
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.29,0:14:24.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the craving monster is not\Nas threatening as he appears.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.92,0:14:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And sometimes, he even goes away.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.92,0:14:33.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As we break for lunch, we're going to have\Nchoices of what to eat.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.90,0:14:38.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.08,0:14:45.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you see them, try to be aware\Nof the cravings in your body,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.42,0:14:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,try to be willing to have those cravings.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.63,0:14:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See if they pass on their own.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:52.50,0:14:56.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatever choice you make,\Ntry to bring a spirit of caring
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.29,0:14:58.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and kindness to yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.21,0:15:03.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for that is the mountain\Nthat we are all climbing.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:04.20,0:15:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.58,0:15:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)