(slow jam music)
- Wait.
Uh, hold on.
- Am I crushing you?
- No, of course not.
I just thought we should talk,
you know, or check in before we you know.
Just so no one gets mad.
- Yeah, yeah.
That's a really good idea.
- Yeah.
- You start.
- OK.
Well, I like you a lot, Maya,
but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now.
- Well that's ridiculous.
We're already in a relationship.
I mean, just not a monogamous one,
but every connection that you have with someone
is a relationship.
- True.
I guess what I'm trying to say is
that I'm not really ready for a monogamous relationship.
- What do you mean "ready"?
- Well, just with work and you know things--
- 'Cause I don't think that I will ever
be ready for monogamy.
- What?
- I don't believe in a monogamous lifestyle.
I've tried it before and it just doesn't work for me.
- Oh, well, nice.
- No, but I mean, if that's what you're most
comfortable with then we probably should't sleep together
'cause we don't want the same things.
- This some kind of trick?
Like a mind trick?
Getting me to commit?
- Yeah! (laughs)
After years of self-reflection and experimentation,
I've formed this very specific life philosophy
for the sole purpose of forcing some guy
into a exclusive relationship.
Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
I should just go.
- Why?
- Because, I just thought, you know, you're pissed.
- Why would I be pissed?
- I don't know.
- OK, first rule of date club,
if I'm pissed, I'm gonna tell you.
Come here.
Let's figure this thing out.
Do you enjoy spending time with me?
- Yes.
- Are you attracted to me?
- Obviously.
- Are you comfortable with me seeing other people?
- Well see, is this a hypothetical question
or are you actually seeing other people?
- I'm seeing some other people, sure.
- Like how many?
There's that many?
- No, it's just not that easy of a question
to answer because it changes all the time.
Like, you know, my friend, Jessie.
- [Man with Black Hair] Yeah, that girl
you always work out with.
- Yeah, well, Jessie's actually a guy
and sometimes we hang out after,
but other than that, it's just some friends here and there,
and my best friend from high school.
But what about you?
I mean, we haven't been seeing each other for that long.
There must be some other girls floating around.
- I mean, I don't know.
There was like this one girl
who I was sort of chatting with online.
- Oh that's awesome.
What was she like?
- I don't know.
We actually never met up.
- That's too bad.
So are you still online?
- No, no.
- Why, I've met some really great people online.
Like I met this guy, Paul.
- Hi, Maya.
- [Maya] And Dave.
- Hey, Maya.
- [Maya] Oh and Raul.
- Hey, Maya.
- That's what so great about it.
Everybody offers you something different.
- What do I offer you?
- So far, companionship,
a little bit of sexual tension.
- Are you fucking that guy from your office?
The one that always writes on your Facebook wall?
(moaning in pleasure)
- Ryan?
Awwwww.
No way.
He has a girlfriend.
You guys are so cute.
- So?
- They are monogamous.
That's against the rules.
- So there are rules?
- Well of course there are rules.
Do you think I just hump anything that moves
regardless of the situation?
- Well my gut's telling me yes,
but your tone's telling me no.
You are not who I thought you were.
- Who did you think I was?
- I don't know.
Normal?
Not a--
- Slut?
- Woah.
Woah, woah, woah.
You said that, not me.
- Yeah, but when I say it,
I don't think of it as a bad thing.
- It's not a bad thing.
It's definitely not a bad thing.
- I know.
- (laughs) Of course you know.
It's just isn't it a little bit unusual?
Don't you get jealous?
- Sometimes.
But then you talk about it
or you move on.
It's just all about figuring out
what you can and can't handle.
Like right now.
Could you handle a back rub to help you relax?
- I think so.
(Maya laughs)
- Wow, you're really good at that.
- What else could you handle?
- Stuff.
- Can you handle this?
- Yeah.
- Can you handle this?
- Yeah.
- Can you handle me?
("Truth in Their Eyes")