1
00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:04,834
In 1987, Tina Lord found herself
in quite the pickle.

2
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:07,940
See, this gold digger made sure
she married sweet Cord Roberts

3
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:10,588
just before he inherited millions.

4
00:00:10,588 --> 00:00:12,841
But when Cord found out
Tina loved his money

5
00:00:12,841 --> 00:00:14,584
as much as she loved him,

6
00:00:14,584 --> 00:00:15,915
he dumped her.

7
00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:17,955
Cord's mother Maria was thrilled

8
00:00:17,955 --> 00:00:19,409
until they hooked up again.

9
00:00:19,409 --> 00:00:21,935
So Maria hired Max Holden to romance Tina

10
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:25,617
and then make sure Cord didn't find out
Tina was pregnant with his baby.

11
00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:28,657
So Tina, still married but thinking
Cord didn't love her

12
00:00:28,657 --> 00:00:30,765
flew to Argentina with Max.

13
00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:32,804
Cord finally figured out what was going on

14
00:00:32,804 --> 00:00:35,238
and rushed after them,
but he was too late.

15
00:00:35,238 --> 00:00:38,590
Tina had already been kidnapped,
strapped to a raft,

16
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:40,602
and sent over a waterfall.

17
00:00:40,602 --> 00:00:43,544
She and her baby were presumed dead.

18
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,561
Cord was sad for a bit,

19
00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:51,251
but then he bounced right back with
a super-smart archaeologist named Kate,

20
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,290
and they had a gorgeous wedding

21
00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:57,203
until Tina, seemingly back from the dead,
ran into the church holding a baby.

22
00:00:57,203 --> 00:01:00,859
"Stop!" she screamed. "Am I too late?

23
00:01:00,859 --> 00:01:03,640
Cord, I've come so far.

24
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,302
This is your son."

25
00:01:07,302 --> 00:01:09,223
And then, ladies and gentlemen,

26
00:01:09,223 --> 00:01:12,416
is the soap opera "One Life To Live"
introduced a love story

27
00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:14,616
that lasted 25 years.

28
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,915
(Laughter)

29
00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:16,165
Now, if you've ever seen a soap opera,

30
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,355
you know the stories and the characters

31
00:01:20,355 --> 00:01:22,862
can be exaggerated, larger than life,

32
00:01:22,862 --> 00:01:26,162
and if you're a fan,
you find that exaggeration fun,

33
00:01:26,162 --> 00:01:27,754
and if you're not,

34
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,598
maybe you find them melodramatic
or unsophisticated.

35
00:01:30,598 --> 00:01:32,775
Maybe you think watching soap operas

36
00:01:32,775 --> 00:01:34,085
is a waste of time,

37
00:01:34,085 --> 00:01:38,886
that their bigness means their lessons
are small or nonexistent.

38
00:01:38,886 --> 00:01:41,615
But I believe the opposite to be true.

39
00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:46,020
Soap operas reflect life, just bigger.

40
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:49,392
So there are real life lessons
we can learn from soap operas,

41
00:01:49,392 --> 00:01:51,974
and those lessons are
as big and adventurous

42
00:01:51,974 --> 00:01:54,814
as any soap opera storyline.

43
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:58,502
Now, I've been a fan since I ran home
from the bus stop in second grade

44
00:01:58,502 --> 00:02:01,922
desperate to catch the end
of Luke and Laura's wedding,

45
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,043
the biggest moment
in "General Hospital"'s history.

46
00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:06,953
(Applause)

47
00:02:06,953 --> 00:02:09,863
So you can imagine how much
I loved my eight years

48
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,758
as the assistant casting director
on "As The World Turns."

49
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,780
My job was watching soap operas,

50
00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:16,404
reading soap opera scripts,

51
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:19,170
and auditioning actors
to be on soap operas.

52
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,669
So I know my stuff.

53
00:02:21,669 --> 00:02:22,822
(Laughter)

54
00:02:22,822 --> 00:02:25,621
And yes, soap operas

55
00:02:25,621 --> 00:02:27,627
are larger than life,

56
00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:29,220
drama on a grand scale,

57
00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:32,922
but our lives can be filled
with as much intensity,

58
00:02:32,922 --> 00:02:36,113
and the stakes can feel just as dramatic.

59
00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:38,400
We cycle through tragedy and joy

60
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,108
just like these characters.

61
00:02:40,108 --> 00:02:44,892
We cross thresholds, fight demons,
and find salvation unexpectedly,

62
00:02:44,892 --> 00:02:47,785
and we do it again and again and again,

63
00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:50,467
but just like soaps,
we can flip the script,

64
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:52,804
which means we can learn
from these characters

65
00:02:52,804 --> 00:02:54,589
that move like bumblebees,

66
00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:57,256
looping and swerving through life.

67
00:02:57,256 --> 00:02:59,526
And we can use those lessons

68
00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:02,090
to craft our own life stories.

69
00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:05,810
Soap operas teach us to push away doubt

70
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,942
and believe in our capacity

71
00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:10,453
for bravery, vulnerability,

72
00:03:10,453 --> 00:03:12,962
adaptability, and resilience.

73
00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:15,556
Most importantly, they show us

74
00:03:15,556 --> 00:03:19,241
it's never too late to change your story.

75
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:22,234
So with that, let's start
with soap opera lessons one:

76
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:24,548
surrender is not an option.

77
00:03:24,548 --> 00:03:26,327
(Laughter)

78
00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:30,750
"All My Children"'s Erica Kane was
daytime's version of Scarlett O'Hara,

79
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,332
a hyperbolically self-important princess

80
00:03:33,332 --> 00:03:34,779
who deep down

81
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,925
was scrappy and daring.

82
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,552
Now, in her 41 years on TV,
perhaps Erica's most famous scene

83
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:42,366
is her alone in the woods

84
00:03:42,366 --> 00:03:45,467
suddenly face to face with a grizzly bear.

85
00:03:45,467 --> 00:03:47,570
She screamed at the bear,

86
00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:49,102
"You may not do this!

87
00:03:49,102 --> 00:03:50,726
Do you understand me?

88
00:03:50,726 --> 00:03:52,465
You may not come near me!

89
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,606
I am Erica Kane,

90
00:03:54,606 --> 00:03:58,901
and you are a filthy beast!"

91
00:03:58,901 --> 00:04:00,840
And of course the bear left,

92
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,535
so what that teaches us

93
00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:06,793
is obstacles are to be expected
and we can choose to surrender

94
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,299
or we can stand and fight.

95
00:04:09,299 --> 00:04:12,334
Pandora's Tim Westergren
knows this better than most.

96
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:16,092
You might even call him
the Erica Kane of Silicon Valley.

97
00:04:16,092 --> 00:04:18,155
Tim and his cofounders
launched the company

98
00:04:18,155 --> 00:04:19,964
with two million dollars in funding.

99
00:04:19,964 --> 00:04:22,597
They were out of cash the next year.

100
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:26,602
Now lots of companies fold
at that point, but Tim chose to fight.

101
00:04:26,602 --> 00:04:31,075
He maxed out 11 credit cards
and racked up six figures in personal debt

102
00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:32,880
and it still wasn't enough.

103
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,519
So every two weeks for two years on payday

104
00:04:35,519 --> 00:04:37,640
he stood in front of his employees

105
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,092
and he asked them 
to sacrifice their salaries,

106
00:04:41,092 --> 00:04:42,606
and it worked.

107
00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:45,466
More than 50 people deferred
two million dollars,

108
00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:47,306
and now, more than a decade later,

109
00:04:47,306 --> 00:04:50,547
Pandora is worth billions.

110
00:04:50,547 --> 00:04:54,511
When you believe that there is a way
around or through whatever

111
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:58,012
is in front of you,
that surrender is not an option,

112
00:04:58,012 --> 00:05:01,674
you can overcome enormous obstacles.

113
00:05:01,674 --> 00:05:04,247
Which brings us to soap opera lesson two:

114
00:05:04,247 --> 00:05:05,971
sacrifice your ego

115
00:05:05,971 --> 00:05:08,642
and drop the superiority complex.

116
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,538
Now, this is scary.

117
00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:13,614
It's an acknowledgment of need
or fallibility.

118
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,428
Maybe it's even an admission

119
00:05:16,428 --> 00:05:18,845
that we're not as special
as we might liked to think.

120
00:05:18,845 --> 00:05:21,165
Stephanie Forrester of
"The Bold and the Beautiful"

121
00:05:21,165 --> 00:05:23,178
thought she was pretty darn special.

122
00:05:23,178 --> 00:05:24,830
She thought she was so special,

123
00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:27,662
she didn't need to mix
with the riffraff from the valley,

124
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:30,355
and she made sure
valley girl Brooke knew it.

125
00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:34,153
But after nearly 25 years
of epic fighting,

126
00:05:34,153 --> 00:05:37,568
Stephanie got sick and let Brooke in.

127
00:05:37,568 --> 00:05:38,921
They made amends,

128
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,860
arch-enemies became soulmates,

129
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:43,261
and Stephanie died in Brooke's arms,

130
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:45,589
and here's our takeaway.

131
00:05:45,589 --> 00:05:47,254
Drop your ego.

132
00:05:47,254 --> 00:05:49,149
Life is not about you.

133
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,599
It's about us,

134
00:05:50,599 --> 00:05:53,364
and our ability to experience joy

135
00:05:53,364 --> 00:05:56,112
and love and to improve our reality

136
00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:59,130
comes only when we make
ourselves vulnerable

137
00:05:59,130 --> 00:06:02,189
and we accept responsibility
for our actions

138
00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:03,656
and our inactions,

139
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:07,022
kind of like Howard Schultz,
the CEO of Starbucks.

140
00:06:07,022 --> 00:06:09,209
Now, after a great run as CEO,

141
00:06:09,209 --> 00:06:11,605
Howard stepped down in 2000,

142
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,789
and Starbucks quickly overextended itself

143
00:06:13,789 --> 00:06:15,651
and stock prices fell.

144
00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,737
Howard rejoined the team in 2008,

145
00:06:17,737 --> 00:06:19,299
and one of the first things he did

146
00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:24,445
was apologize to all 180,000 employees.

147
00:06:24,445 --> 00:06:26,994
He apologized.

148
00:06:26,994 --> 00:06:31,123
And then he asked for help,
honesty, and ideas in return.

149
00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:33,391
And now, Starbucks has more than doubled

150
00:06:33,391 --> 00:06:36,215
its net revenue since Howard came back.

151
00:06:36,215 --> 00:06:40,427
So sacrifice your desire to be right
or safe all the time.

152
00:06:40,427 --> 00:06:43,173
It's not helping anyone, least of all you.

153
00:06:43,173 --> 00:06:46,888
Sacrifice your ego.

154
00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:49,352
Soap opera lesson three:

155
00:06:49,352 --> 00:06:52,183
evolution is real.

156
00:06:52,183 --> 00:06:54,995
You're not meant to be static characters.

157
00:06:54,995 --> 00:06:59,074
On television, static equals boring
and boring equals fired.

158
00:06:59,074 --> 00:07:02,395
Characters are supposed
to grow and change.

159
00:07:02,395 --> 00:07:05,141
Now on TV, those dynamic changes

160
00:07:05,141 --> 00:07:07,542
can make for some rough transitions,

161
00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:09,269
particularly when a character

162
00:07:09,269 --> 00:07:13,954
is played by one person yesterday
and played by someone new today.

163
00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:17,474
Recasting happens all the time on soaps.

164
00:07:17,474 --> 00:07:19,381
Over the last 20 years,

165
00:07:19,381 --> 00:07:22,149
four different actors have played
the same key role

166
00:07:22,149 --> 00:07:25,450
of Carly Benson on "General Hospital."

167
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:30,877
Each new face triggered a change
in the character's life and personality.

168
00:07:30,877 --> 00:07:34,919
Now, there was always an essential nugget
of Carly in there,

169
00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:39,934
but the character and the story
adapted to whomever was playing her.

170
00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:42,498
And here's what that means for us.

171
00:07:42,498 --> 00:07:45,323
While we may not swap faces
in our own lives,

172
00:07:45,323 --> 00:07:46,955
we can evolve too.

173
00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:52,647
We can choose to draw a circle
around our feet and stay in that spot,

174
00:07:52,647 --> 00:07:55,027
or we can open ourselves to opportunities

175
00:07:55,027 --> 00:07:59,500
like Carly, who went
from nursing student to hotel owner,

176
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,737
or like Julia Child.

177
00:08:01,737 --> 00:08:04,307
Julia was a World War II spy,

178
00:08:04,307 --> 00:08:07,722
and when the war ended,
she got married, moved to France,

179
00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:11,339
and decided to give
culinary school a shot.

180
00:08:11,339 --> 00:08:17,166
Julia, her books, and her TV shows
revolutionized the way America cooks.

181
00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:21,063
We all have the power to initiate
change in our lives,

182
00:08:21,063 --> 00:08:23,412
to evolve and adapt.

183
00:08:23,412 --> 00:08:25,338
We make the choice,

184
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,100
but sometimes life chooses for us,
and we don't get a heads up.

185
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,799
Surprise slams us in the face.

186
00:08:31,799 --> 00:08:33,951
You're flat on the ground,
the air is gone,

187
00:08:33,951 --> 00:08:36,075
and you need resuscitation.

188
00:08:36,075 --> 00:08:39,467
So thank goodness
for soap opera lesson four:

189
00:08:39,467 --> 00:08:41,718
resurrection is possible.

190
00:08:41,718 --> 00:08:44,724
(Laughter) (Applause)

191
00:08:46,779 --> 00:08:50,362
In 1983, "Days of Our Lives'"
Stefano DiMera died of a stroke,

192
00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:53,506
but not really, because in 1984

193
00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:56,563
he died when his car
plunged into the harbor,

194
00:08:56,563 --> 00:09:00,312
and yet he was back in 1985
with a brain tumor.

195
00:09:00,312 --> 00:09:01,397
(Laughter)

196
00:09:01,397 --> 00:09:03,763
But before the tumor could kill him,

197
00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:08,253
Marlena shot him, and he tumbled
off a catwalk to his death.

198
00:09:08,253 --> 00:09:10,753
And so it went for 30 years.

199
00:09:10,753 --> 00:09:13,335
(Laughter)

200
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,422
Even when we saw the body,

201
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,573
we knew better.

202
00:09:16,573 --> 00:09:20,303
He's called the Phoenix for a reason.

203
00:09:20,303 --> 00:09:23,233
And here's what that means for us.

204
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,589
As long as the show is still on the air,

205
00:09:25,589 --> 00:09:27,902
or you're still breathing,

206
00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:29,533
nothing is permanent.

207
00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:31,617
Resurrection is possible.

208
00:09:33,082 --> 00:09:36,584
Now, of course, just like life,

209
00:09:36,584 --> 00:09:40,518
soap operas do ultimately meet
the big finale.

210
00:09:40,518 --> 00:09:45,330
CBS canceled my show,
"As The World Turns," in December 2009,

211
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:48,785
and we shot our final episode
in June 2010.

212
00:09:48,785 --> 00:09:51,855
It was six months of dying
and I road that train

213
00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:54,293
right into the mountain.

214
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:57,137
And even though we were in the middle
of a huge recession,

215
00:09:57,137 --> 00:10:00,377
and millions of people
were struggling to find work,

216
00:10:00,377 --> 00:10:03,319
I somehow thought
everything would be okay.

217
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:05,983
So I packed up the kids
and the Brooklyn apartment,

218
00:10:05,983 --> 00:10:08,385
and we moved in with my in-laws

219
00:10:08,385 --> 00:10:09,945
in Alabama.

220
00:10:09,945 --> 00:10:12,472
(Laughter)

221
00:10:12,472 --> 00:10:16,032
Three months later, nothing was okay.

222
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:20,618
That was when I watched
the final episode air,

223
00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:25,172
and I realized the show
was not the only fatality.

224
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,195
I was one too.

225
00:10:27,195 --> 00:10:29,675
I was unemployed and living
on the second floor

226
00:10:29,675 --> 00:10:31,322
of my in-laws' home,

227
00:10:31,322 --> 00:10:34,364
and that's enough to make anyone
feel dead inside.

228
00:10:34,364 --> 00:10:35,993
(Laughter)

229
00:10:35,993 --> 00:10:38,710
But I knew my story wasn't over,

230
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:40,564
that it couldn't be over.

231
00:10:40,564 --> 00:10:46,203
I just had to tap into everything
I had ever learned about soap operas.

232
00:10:46,203 --> 00:10:48,848
I had to be brave like Erica

233
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:51,464
and refuse to surrender, so every day,

234
00:10:51,464 --> 00:10:53,915
I made a decision to fight.

235
00:10:53,915 --> 00:10:56,775
I had to be vulnerable like Stephanie

236
00:10:56,775 --> 00:10:58,437
and sacrifice my ego.

237
00:10:58,437 --> 00:11:02,628
I had to ask for help a lot of times
across many states.

238
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:06,428
I had to be adaptable like Carly

239
00:11:06,428 --> 00:11:09,914
and evolve my skills, my mindset,
and my circumstances,

240
00:11:09,914 --> 00:11:13,021
and then I had to be resilient,
like Stefano,

241
00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:15,612
and resurrect myself and my career

242
00:11:15,612 --> 00:11:18,760
like a phoenix from the ashes.

243
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,995
Eventually I got an interview.

244
00:11:20,995 --> 00:11:24,679
In 15 years in news and entertainment,

245
00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:26,767
nine months of unemployment

246
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,710
and this one interview,

247
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:33,390
I had an offer for an entry level job.

248
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,081
I was 37 years old,

249
00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:38,194
and I was back from the dead.

250
00:11:38,194 --> 00:11:41,680
We will all experience
what looks like an ending,

251
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,343
and we can choose to make it a beginning.

252
00:11:44,343 --> 00:11:48,456
Kind of like Tina, who miraculously
survived that waterfall,

253
00:11:48,456 --> 00:11:50,987
and because I hate to leave
a cliffhanger hanging,

254
00:11:50,987 --> 00:11:53,154
Tina and Cord did get divorced,

255
00:11:53,154 --> 00:11:58,834
but they got remarried three times
before the show went off the air in 2012.

256
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:00,603
So remember,

257
00:12:00,603 --> 00:12:03,746
as long as there is breath in your body,

258
00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:07,742
it's never too late to change your story.

259
00:12:07,742 --> 00:12:09,566
Thank you.

260
00:12:09,566 --> 00:12:13,999
(Applause)