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In 1987, Tina Lord
found herself in quite the pickle.

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See, this gold digger made sure
she married sweet Cord Roberts

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just before he inherited millions.

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But when Cord found out
Tina loved his money

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as much as she loved him,

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he dumped her.

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Cord's mother Maria was thrilled

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until they hooked up again.

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So Maria hired Max Holden to romance Tina

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and then made sure Cord didn't find out
Tina was pregnant with his baby.

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So Tina, still married
but thinking Cord didn't love her

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flew to Argentina with Max.

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Cord finally figured out what was going on

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and rushed after them,
but he was too late.

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Tina had already been kidnapped,

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strapped to a raft
and sent over a waterfall.

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She and her baby were presumed dead.

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Cord was sad for a bit,

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but then he bounced right back

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with a supersmart
archaeologist named Kate,

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and they had a gorgeous wedding

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until Tina, seemingly back from the dead,
ran into the church holding a baby.

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"Stop!" she screamed.

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"Am I too late?

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Cord, I've come so far.

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This is your son."

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And that, ladies and gentlemen,

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is how the soap opera "One Life to Live"
introduced a love story

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that lasted 25 years.

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(Laughter)

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Now, if you've ever seen a soap opera,

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you know the stories and the characters
can be exaggerated, larger than life,

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and if you're a fan,
you find that exaggeration fun,

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and if you're not,

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maybe you find them
melodramatic or unsophisticated.

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Maybe you think watching soap operas

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is a waste of time,

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that their bigness means
their lessons are small or nonexistent.

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But I believe the opposite to be true.

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Soap operas reflect life, just bigger.

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So there are real life lessons
we can learn from soap operas,

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and those lessons
are as big and adventurous

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as any soap opera storyline.

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Now, I've been a fan since I ran home
from the bus stop in second grade

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desperate to catch the end
of Luke and Laura's wedding,

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the biggest moment
in "General Hospital" history.

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(Applause)

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So you can imagine
how much I loved my eight years

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as the assistant casting director
on "As the World Turns."

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My job was watching soap operas,

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reading soap opera scripts

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and auditioning actors
to be on soap operas.

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So I know my stuff.

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(Laughter)

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And yes, soap operas

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are larger than life,

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drama on a grand scale,

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but our lives can be filled
with as much intensity,

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and the stakes can feel just as dramatic.

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We cycle through tragedy and joy

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just like these characters.

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We cross thresholds, fight demons
and find salvation unexpectedly,

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and we do it again and again and again,

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but just like soaps,
we can flip the script,

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which means we can learn
from these characters

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that move like bumblebees,

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looping and swerving through life.

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And we can use those lessons

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to craft our own life stories.

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Soap operas teach us to push away doubt

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and believe in our capacity

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for bravery, vulnerability,

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adaptability and resilience.

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And most importantly, they show us

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it's never too late to change your story.

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So with that, let's start
with soap opera lesson one:

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surrender is not an option.

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(Laughter)

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"All My Children"'s Erica Kane
was daytime's version of Scarlett O'Hara,

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a hyperbolically self-important princess

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who deep down was scrappy and daring.

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Now, in her 41 years on TV,
perhaps Erica's most famous scene

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is her alone in the woods

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suddenly face to face with a grizzly bear.

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She screamed at the bear,

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"You may not do this!

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Do you understand me?

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You may not come near me!

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I am Erica Kane

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and you are a filthy beast!"

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(Laughter)

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And of course the bear left,

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so what that teaches us

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is obstacles are to be expected

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and we can choose to surrender
or we can stand and fight.

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Pandora's Tim Westergren
knows this better than most.

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You might even call him
the Erica Kane of Silicon Valley.

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Tim and his cofounders
launched the company

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with two million dollars in funding.

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They were out of cash the next year.

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Now, lots of companies fold at that point,
but Tim chose to fight.

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He maxed out 11 credit cards
and racked up six figures in personal debt

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and it still wasn't enough.

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So every two weeks for two years on payday
he stood in front of his employees

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and he asked them
to sacrifice their salaries,

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and it worked.

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More than 50 people deferred
two million dollars,

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and now, more than a decade later,

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Pandora is worth billions.

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When you believe that there is a way

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around or through
whatever is in front of you,

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that surrender is not an option,

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you can overcome enormous obstacles.

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Which brings us to soap opera lesson two:

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sacrifice your ego
and drop the superiority complex.

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Now, this is scary.

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It's an acknowledgment
of need or fallibility.

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Maybe it's even an admission

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that we're not as special
as we might like to think.

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Stephanie Forrester
of "The Bold and the Beautiful"

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thought she was pretty darn special.

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She thought she was so special,

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she didn't need to mix
with the riffraff from the valley,

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and she made sure
valley girl Brooke knew it.

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But after nearly 25 years
of epic fighting,

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Stephanie got sick and let Brooke in.

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They made amends,

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archenemies became soul mates

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and Stephanie died in Brooke's arms,

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and here's our takeaway.

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Drop your ego.

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Life is not about you.

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It's about us,

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and our ability to experience joy

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and love and to improve our reality

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comes only when we make
ourselves vulnerable

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and we accept responsibility
for our actions

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and our inactions,

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kind of like Howard Schultz,
the CEO of Starbucks.

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Now, after a great run as CEO,

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Howard stepped down in 2000,

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and Starbucks quickly overextended itself

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and stock prices fell.

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Howard rejoined the team in 2008,

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and one of the first things he did

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was apologize to all 180,000 employees.

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He apologized.

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And then he asked for help,
honesty, and ideas in return.

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And now, Starbucks has more than doubled

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its net revenue since Howard came back.

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So sacrifice your desire
to be right or safe all the time.

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It's not helping anyone, least of all you.

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Sacrifice your ego.

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Soap opera lesson three:

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evolution is real.

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You're not meant to be static characters.

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On television, static equals boring
and boring equals fired.

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Characters are supposed
to grow and change.

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Now, on TV, those dynamic changes

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can make for some rough transitions,

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particularly when a character
is played by one person yesterday

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and played by someone new today.

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Recasting happens all the time on soaps.

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Over the last 20 years,

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four different actors
have played the same key role

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of Carly Benson on "General Hospital."

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Each new face triggered a change
in the character's life and personality.

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Now, there was always
an essential nugget of Carly in there,

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but the character and the story
adapted to whomever was playing her.

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And here's what that means for us.

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While we may not swap faces
in our own lives,

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we can evolve too.

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We can choose to draw a circle
around our feet and stay in that spot,

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or we can open ourselves to opportunities

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like Carly, who went
from nursing student to hotel owner,

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or like Julia Child.

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Julia was a World War II spy,

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and when the war ended,
she got married, moved to France,

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and decided to give
culinary school a shot.

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Julia, her books and her TV shows
revolutionized the way America cooks.

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We all have the power
to initiate change in our lives,

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to evolve and adapt.

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We make the choice,

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but sometimes life chooses for us,
and we don't get a heads up.

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Surprise slams us in the face.

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You're flat on the ground,
the air is gone,

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and you need resuscitation.

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So thank goodness
for soap opera lesson four:

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resurrection is possible.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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In 1983, "Days of Our Lives"'
Stefano DiMera died of a stroke,

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but not really, because in 1984

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he died when his car
plunged into the harbor,

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and yet he was back in 1985
with a brain tumor.

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(Laughter)

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But before the tumor could kill him,

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Marlena shot him, and he tumbled
off a catwalk to his death.

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And so it went for 30 years.

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(Laughter)

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Even when we saw the body,

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we knew better.

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He's called the Phoenix for a reason.

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And here's what that means for us.

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As long as the show is still on the air,

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or you're still breathing,

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nothing is permanent.

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Resurrection is possible.

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Now, of course, just like life,

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soap operas do ultimately
meet the big finale.

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CBS canceled my show,
"As The World Turns," in December 2009,

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and we shot our final episode

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in June 2010.

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It was six months of dying

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and I rode that train
right into the mountain.

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And even though we were
in the middle of a huge recession

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and millions of people
were struggling to find work,

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I somehow thought everything would be OK.

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So I packed up the kids
and the Brooklyn apartment,

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and we moved in with my in-laws

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in Alabama.

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(Laughter)

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Three months later, nothing was OK.

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That was when I watched
the final episode air,

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and I realized the show
was not the only fatality.

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I was one too.

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I was unemployed
and living on the second floor

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of my in-laws' home,

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and that's enough
to make anyone feel dead inside.

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(Laughter)

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But I knew my story wasn't over,

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that it couldn't be over.

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I just had to tap into everything
I had ever learned about soap operas.

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I had to be brave like Erica
and refuse to surrender,

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so every day, I made a decision to fight.

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I had to be vulnerable like Stephanie

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and sacrifice my ego.

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I had to ask for help
a lot of times across many states.

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I had to be adaptable like Carly

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and evolve my skills,
my mindset, and my circumstances,

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and then I had to be
resilient, like Stefano,

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and resurrect myself and my career

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like a phoenix from the ashes.

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Eventually I got an interview.

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After 15 years in news and entertainment,

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nine months of unemployment

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and this one interview,

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I had an offer for an entry level job.

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I was 37 years old

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and I was back from the dead.

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We will all experience
what looks like an ending,

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and we can choose to make it a beginning.

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Kind of like Tina, who miraculously
survived that waterfall,

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and because I hate to leave
a cliffhanger hanging,

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Tina and Cord did get divorced,

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but they got remarried three times
before the show went off the air in 2012.

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So remember,

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as long as there is breath in your body,

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it's never too late to change your story.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)