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So if you missed my last video,

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I filled you in on how I recently

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got a boyfriend,

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broke up with him,

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got another one,

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started a new university degree doing

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PHILosophy

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and that all took place

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in my alternative universe Bitlife!

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So we’re gonna jump back in with Philly age 18

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– can I keep myself alive?

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(until a lovely, grand old age)

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I think 96 would be good.

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So to fill you in, I’ve got Joshua Glasscock

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who’s my boyfriend.

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He likes me quite a lot,

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despite the disappointing bedroom action.

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Can we try and do a bit better,

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second time lucky?

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No!

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That’s even worse!

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This isn’t everything in a relationship,

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but it might not last.

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Oh, wait, you spend time with everyone?

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That saves so much time.

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“You invested in nine of your relationships.

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Your stepmom and stepdad refused

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to spend time with you”?

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Oh my God! F you, stepdad.

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I’m gonna insult him.

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I called him a maniac.

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I’m insulting her as well.

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Yeah, take that, blockhead!

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Alright- (game character: Ow!)

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AH!

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She attacked me, what the hell?

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“She elbowed my knee and spanked my forearm”?!

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(smack) Bad adult son!

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Okay, we’re aging up.

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Oh, and my mom and stepdad just had a baby boy

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named Jayden, my new half brother–

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Jayden Rogers.

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AW, I’ve got a bro!

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Will I be an insightful and protective big brother?

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I always wondered what I would've been like,

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if it were the other way around.

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Probably not.

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“He was conceived on a Caribbean cruise,”

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they go on so many boujee holidays without me!

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Right, let’s make friends with the bay-bae.

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Oh, the only thing I could do is recruit him to a cult

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(ominous noise)

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No, I’m not gonna do that.

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Alright, let’s do some extracurricular drama.

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AH

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NO

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I quit it by accident! (sad horn sounds)

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I didn't mean to press that!

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Let me back in! (sad horn sounds)

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They refused to let me back in!

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Aw.. frick.

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Okay, I’ll do another one.

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I'm gonna join the tennis team,

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maybe I can be in my Challengers era?

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(sad horn sounds again)

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Rejected again?!

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Zendaya, you’ve already got two men–

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okay, somethin’, somethin’s gotta let me in!

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The debate team.

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I’m gonna be a yapper.

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Yes! Okay, right, what can I do now that I’m an adult?

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Ooh, play the lottery. Come on.

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Let’s get one ticket.

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I did not win.

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Oh :( great :,(

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Hit up the casino, just havin’ a gambling moment.

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I’m gonna go to “Peak Resort”.

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uh??

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I’m not paying 600 quid?!

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Alright, I’m gonna bet 50 quid.

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I don’t know how Blackjack works.

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Alright you have to get “21 without going over”.

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I’ve got 19, I’m gonna stay with 19.

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(yippeee! sound effect) YES!

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Right, one more try.

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100 POUNDS.

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(gasp) I’ve got 20!

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I’ll stand.

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(sad horn) >:(

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No! I’ve lost–

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I’m down 50 quid!

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Right, do not gamble!

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In life, I’m still up on the Gremlin slot machine

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where I got like 600 quid on my first go.

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Dan: Bloody hell.

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D: Explain-

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D: explain. Phil: I don’t know how it happened!

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P: It just happened.

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D: You’re hacking, aren’t you?

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P: Yeah

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I’m never doing it again,

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the Bellagio hates me.

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Ooh, I can go clubbing.

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What sounds the most gay,

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I’m gonna go with “Essence Disco”...

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that would be like the Willow in New York,

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but will they give us prawn crackers here?

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I didn’t love it that much.

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(gasp) “Even though you have a boyfriend,

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you have an opportunity to have a one night stand

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with a dude named Charles Waddle."

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DO him?!

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Oh my God.

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Look, I’d normally be against cheating but

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I think because we’ve had such a bad time in the bedroom,

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(sad horn) maybe this is just to test out

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if everything’s okay or not.

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I’m tempted just for the messiness of this video.

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I did it, I’m sorry.

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“Things are getting hot and you’re thinking about being safe-”

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yes! (gasp)

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“You walk around with a pep in your step the next day.”

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Okay, we both really enjoyed that.

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Not sure if me and Glasscock are compatible.

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(scary noise) Oh, no he found out!

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Now he’s mad, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.

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Right, let’s go to couple’s counseling.

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150 quid?!

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I cheated, so I’ll ask him to go.

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Oh no, he doesn’t want to go.

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Let’s try again.

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No, I think as we’ve not been…enjoying ourselves,

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we might not be compatible.

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We gotta break up. I’m sorry, Joshua.

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Okay, single and ready to mingle!

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Let’s age up!

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(scary noise) NO!!!

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I hate this game, WHY?! MARLEY!!

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That was such a jumpscare, I didn’t see it

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The cruelness of life, “Your Welsh corgi,

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Marley, died at the age of 14. He perished after losing his last fight,

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against old age.

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Mourn his death or have him taxidermied,”

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I’m gonna get him taxidermied.

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Yes. Stuff the dog!

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“The taxidermist successfully taxidermied your Welsh corgi, Marley!

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He looks fresh as a daisy.”

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Amazing.

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We can’t interact with him, though…

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it’s just a late pet.

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Alright, I’m bummed out now,

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I need a massage or something..

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Go to the movies, just don’t watch Marley and me,

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comedy.

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Yes. Okay, we’re getting better.

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Alright, we’re getting a haircut, that’ll cheer him up-

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I actually need one right now as well.

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“Select this style,”

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That’s what I should’ve done in university

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when I was walking around lookin’ like this!

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No wonder there weren’t many Glasscocks in my life.

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AGE.

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“Your friend, Emily, has invited you to indulge in a

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six year old bottle of triple sec her parents have been saving."

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I’m in.

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I did not enjoy that.

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Right, as university is coming to an end, I think

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I need a part time job.

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Wait, the best paying thing is a Mall Santa?

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I’m in.

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I’m gonna be the youngest looking Mall Santa ever.

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They don’t want me. Damn it.

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Not sure if I trust myself with chemicals, but let’s try Lab Assistant.

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Yes! I got the job. Alright.

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It must be so bad at school to be given one of those nicknames

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that just sticks with you forever.

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Someone in my house was taking chemistry and he

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spilled some chemical on his hand, called bromine,

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and literally all the lads in my class just called him

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“Bromine” for the next three years.

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Before we age Philly up again,

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I wanted to thank the wickedly talented sponsor of today’s video,

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Opera Browser!

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Do you want a browser that is satisfying as a sloth slowly

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climbing up your body and falling asleep in your clavicle?

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Well, I have the browser just for you!

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Firstly, you’ve got the “tab islands” feature,

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which is so sexy,

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it just clumps ‘em all together.

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So, when you’re looking at somethin’, you have a little group,

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have another little group.

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It doesn’t turn into a squirrel’s nest.

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I also really like the "lucid" feature,

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which is useful if you’re watching a YouTube video

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and it looks a little blurry.

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Look at those little babies.

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Watch this–

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lucid!

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Ooh, Daniel,

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Never seen you so sharp!

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I’m also a fan of the “snapshot” feature.

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Some browsers are so clunky,

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trying to do a snapshot.

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Opera’s just got a nice camera button,

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and you can crop in then and there,

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and add some of your own little bits to it.

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There’s a whole heap of

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other features as well,

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so if this has inspired you

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to give Opera Browser a go,

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you can click the link below,

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it’s completely free,

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00:05:45,037 --> 00:05:48,047
and feel like this sloth…

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on my body.

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Age up!

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I graduated!

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With a degree in Philosophy.

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Now I need an actual job.

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Hello, Job Recruiter.

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That is so expensive.

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No, I’m gonna do it myself. (gasp)

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Right. This is where it gets serious.

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There’s so many choices!

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You can be an exorcist?!

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I’m tempted.

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A junior marine biologist sounds cool!

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I actually really wanted to do that for a while,

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but then I remembered I’m kind of scared of the sea.

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There’s so much unexplored down there,

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they just want to lick your leg.

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When I was on holiday the other week, I was

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just poodling along, snorkelin’ and I saw an urchin!

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What in the frickin’ Pokemon is this,

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ready to stab my legs out?

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So I don’t want to know what the Ultra Urchin ™

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is in the Mariana Trench. Anyway,

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I’m gonna face my fears though,

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I wanna do it.

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Denied.

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They heard me talkin’ sh-t.

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What about exorcist?

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“While being interviewed for the Exorcist position at the

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Rossendale Community Church” –

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I need this to become reality –

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“How did you hear about this position?

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Thorough research led me to it.”

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YES!

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I am now an exorcist.

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I cannot see this ending well.

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I got 17 grand for the year. Okay.

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So fact about Rossendale, Pendle Hill was one

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of the most haunted places in the UK. It’s also

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UFO Alley where the most UFO sightings are,

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maybe everyone’s just on a lot of drugs.

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I don’t know.

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Anyway, let’s see if I exorcise anything.

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Wow, there are some big business happening in this exorcism church.

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Wow, Benedict, look at that Ginger QUOFF on your head.

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D’ja wanna be my friend?

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Yes! I made a fellow exorcist friend.

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We can make a Youtube channel together, kicking ghosts in the face.

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Speaking of, shall we have a look at the social media?

263
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:14,000
Let’s get a Youtube channel and see what happens.

264
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,930
I’m gonna post an exorcism video.

265
00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:17,760
“How To Exorcise A Demon”.

266
00:07:18,878 --> 00:07:20,228
Oh, I got one view.

267
00:07:20,644 --> 00:07:22,504
That’s how you always start on YouTube though!

268
00:07:22,504 --> 00:07:23,919
In this universe, it’s still Twitter!

269
00:07:23,919 --> 00:07:26,561
It’s the good timeline. Let’s get a Twitter as well.

270
00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:28,605
Let’s post a sexy exorcism pic!

271
00:07:28,605 --> 00:07:29,891
It got zero likes.

272
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:31,820
That is hard.

273
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:33,941
What about a video of me playing Bitlife?

274
00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:35,940
I don’t know what the Alphabet Challenge is, but

275
00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:38,147
it got me 2 extra views and 2 subscribers.

276
00:07:38,147 --> 00:07:39,747
Plastic surgery.

277
00:07:39,747 --> 00:07:42,077
You can get p(dark bark)s enlargement surgery?

278
00:07:42,117 --> 00:07:43,997
No, I’m beautiful the way I am.

279
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,527
I need an apartment, really. Can I get a mortgage on

280
00:07:46,527 --> 00:07:47,741
this lovely condo?

281
00:07:48,287 --> 00:07:51,607
Yes! I can get a pet! Okay, things are looking up.

282
00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:53,077
Can I buy my own hamster (gasp)

283
00:07:53,077 --> 00:07:54,919
Taz, the two year old guinea pig.

284
00:07:54,919 --> 00:07:56,297
We’ve got a gerbil or a guinea pig..

285
00:07:56,297 --> 00:07:57,347
I'm gonna get the guinea pig.

286
00:07:57,347 --> 00:07:59,387
It’s another DUMB animal that is very healthy,

287
00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:02,286
unlike Rollo, rest in peace my guinea pig Rollo.

288
00:08:02,286 --> 00:08:04,557
We did not have a lot of time together.

289
00:08:04,557 --> 00:08:07,987
“True love,” Aw! Yes! Oh, I can rename it. I mean, of

290
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,787
course you can, it’s not like...it's not it's gonna be like,

291
00:08:10,787 --> 00:08:11,557
“That’s not my name.”

292
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,577
Garyy!! Gareh!

293
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,407
“That’s better,”

294
00:08:14,407 --> 00:08:17,026
Right, we’re gonna spend the next 5 hours of this video with Gary.

295
00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:17,604
“Treat,”

296
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:19,634
I gave him some pumpkin seeds.

297
00:08:19,634 --> 00:08:22,314
Yes. More treats for you.

298
00:08:22,314 --> 00:08:24,136
Nibble that peach.

299
00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:25,436
Chomp it good.

300
00:08:25,436 --> 00:08:26,940
Right, let’s spend some time together.

301
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,370
Okay, I feel content.

302
00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:29,920
I’m a single man, I’m in my apartment

303
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,343
in Rossendale, and I’ve got a

304
00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:33,193
guinea pig. Things are lookin’ up.

305
00:08:33,193 --> 00:08:34,153
Time to get older!

306
00:08:34,153 --> 00:08:36,264
“Your friend, Benedict, wants to become best friends with you.

307
00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:38,379
But you are already best friend with Teddy Matthews.”

308
00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:40,179
Sorry, get in the bin, Teddy!

309
00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:41,789
I’m now friends with Benedict.

310
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:44,109
Is it friends to lovers scenario here?

311
00:08:44,326 --> 00:08:45,406
Ask him out.

312
00:08:47,169 --> 00:08:49,151
“Friendzoned to the max,” Oh no…

313
00:08:49,151 --> 00:08:50,261
”I’m just not his type.”

314
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:52,874
Why wasn’t I more good looking in this life?

315
00:08:52,874 --> 00:08:54,624
Maybe I could jump on the dating apps again.

316
00:08:54,624 --> 00:08:56,784
“Celebrity dating app,” not an influencer,

317
00:08:56,784 --> 00:08:58,224
imagine who’s on there? No.

318
00:08:58,224 --> 00:08:59,594
I would like to date.

319
00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,404
I’m torn between actor and royal.

320
00:09:01,404 --> 00:09:03,604
I feel like the royals would have more money, but

321
00:09:03,604 --> 00:09:05,614
it’s such a dusty life, living in that castle.

322
00:09:05,614 --> 00:09:06,724
Let’s go with actor.

323
00:09:06,724 --> 00:09:09,654
It’s a 100,000 pounds?! Okay, maybe not.

324
00:09:09,654 --> 00:09:11,774
Let’s just get on a normal one instead!

325
00:09:11,774 --> 00:09:12,764
Okay, Rodney Robinson!

326
00:09:12,764 --> 00:09:14,294
Another crazy man.

327
00:09:14,294 --> 00:09:15,264
Not sure about that.

328
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:16,694
Let’s try it again.

329
00:09:16,694 --> 00:09:18,174
George Smiley! I like that name.

330
00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:21,354
He’s hot and crazy, but he’s also dumb and he’s got no cash.

331
00:09:21,354 --> 00:09:23,874
He’s a bisexual real estate agent, go on then.

332
00:09:23,874 --> 00:09:26,064
Yes! I’ve hooked him in!

333
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:28,964
Okay, I’m gonna try to stay with this guy for more than 10 minutes.

334
00:09:28,964 --> 00:09:30,609
Let’s go to the movies together.

335
00:09:30,609 --> 00:09:31,919
We’re going to watch “I’m Dead!”

336
00:09:33,591 --> 00:09:34,257
We loved it!

337
00:09:34,257 --> 00:09:35,617
Okay, we got something in common.

338
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:36,417
Age up.

339
00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:38,241
“Blowout Sale. While performing an exorcism,

340
00:09:38,241 --> 00:09:40,777
you get a phone notification that your favorite shoe store is

341
00:09:40,777 --> 00:09:43,567
having a blowout. What do you do? Focus on the evil spirits,

342
00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:45,267
take a break and order some shoes,

343
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:46,177
or multitask.”

344
00:09:46,177 --> 00:09:48,407
You can’t vanquish a demon while ordering some shoes!

345
00:09:48,407 --> 00:09:51,467
“I ordered some sweet kicks while exorcising someone’s demons.”

346
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:53,867
I’ve not actually spoken to my brother who’s now age 5..

347
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,537
I’ll give him a gift.

348
00:09:55,537 --> 00:09:56,997
Have a lil’ basketball.

349
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:57,997
Ah :)

350
00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,337
After you get past age 24, your life just goes like

351
00:10:00,337 --> 00:10:01,929
(clipclapclopclupclipclapclepclypclap)

352
00:10:01,929 --> 00:10:04,169
so I think we need to start aging him up a bit faster now.

353
00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:05,359
Here we go. 25.

354
00:10:05,359 --> 00:10:06,529
Oh my God, best news.

355
00:10:06,529 --> 00:10:09,119
Penelope divorced my father! He’s free!

356
00:10:09,119 --> 00:10:11,673
From the one that nibbled my elbow, or whatever she did.

357
00:10:11,673 --> 00:10:12,813
How’s it going with George?

358
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,583
Right, how compatible are we in the bedroom?

359
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,603
Great, okay! That’s-that’s fine.

360
00:10:17,603 --> 00:10:19,823
I feel like I need to get some more money somehow.

361
00:10:19,823 --> 00:10:21,426
Should we do the lottery again?

362
00:10:21,426 --> 00:10:22,811
Let’s get 10 tickets.

363
00:10:23,072 --> 00:10:24,962
No, I didn’t win. I wonder if you can actually win.

364
00:10:24,962 --> 00:10:27,392
The prize is 642,000 pounds?!

365
00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:29,211
Oh my God, age up again!

366
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:30,943
No! Gary…

367
00:10:32,206 --> 00:10:33,056
this is so cruel!

368
00:10:33,056 --> 00:10:34,586
You age up so fast,

369
00:10:34,586 --> 00:10:35,646
I loved him.

370
00:10:35,646 --> 00:10:37,817
“He sadly died peacefully in the night,”

371
00:10:37,817 --> 00:10:40,097
I’ll have to get him taxidermied as well.

372
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:40,890
Katrina…

373
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,782
”There was an issue…he apologized for the way he’s posed.”

374
00:10:43,782 --> 00:10:44,891
How is he posed?!

375
00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:47,024
What’s he doing with those lil’ paws?

376
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:50,214
I think what I need to do is hit the gym and then get OnlyFans.

377
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:51,874
Let’s see how that goes.

378
00:10:51,874 --> 00:10:53,124
“Work out at the gym,”

379
00:10:54,313 --> 00:10:55,103
I love the gym.

380
00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:56,814
Oh God. I got skin blisters!

381
00:10:56,814 --> 00:10:58,514
“While drying yourself off after a swim in a swimming pool,

382
00:10:58,514 --> 00:11:00,414
you notice blisters all over your neck.

383
00:11:00,414 --> 00:11:02,114
You’re dealing with red bumps on your skin."

384
00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:03,277
I’m gonna go to the doctor.

385
00:11:03,277 --> 00:11:04,851
Doctor…Baggin’s!

386
00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:07,251
I’ve got a staph infection from the gross swimming pool?

387
00:11:07,746 --> 00:11:09,986
Alright, "thanks to the UK’s free healthcare system,"

388
00:11:09,986 --> 00:11:11,106
that’s a nice touch.

389
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:12,416
Treat me.

390
00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:13,156
I’m cured.

391
00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:14,476
Thank God for that.

392
00:11:14,476 --> 00:11:15,565
Alright, one more gym…

393
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:17,802
I’m swole.

394
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,570
Now I got nasal congestion.

395
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:21,029
This gym is manky!

396
00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:22,399
Right, I hope I won’t be getting any diseases from it.

397
00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:23,999
I’ve got “pressure in my nose and ear,”

398
00:11:23,999 --> 00:11:25,677
right, let’s go back to the doctor.

399
00:11:25,677 --> 00:11:27,067
Baggin’s! I’ve got the flu?

400
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:28,207
Treat me.

401
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:31,107
I’m cured. Great.

402
00:11:31,237 --> 00:11:32,727
I’m never going to that gym again.

403
00:11:32,727 --> 00:11:34,017
Right, OnlyFans. Here we go.

404
00:11:35,192 --> 00:11:36,652
I’m in the top 99%.

405
00:11:37,226 --> 00:11:39,382
Okay, is this going to be an income generator?

406
00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:42,692
I’m purely cinematic butts, by the way. Nothing in the front.

407
00:11:42,692 --> 00:11:45,412
77 subscribers. Let’s do a post.

408
00:11:45,412 --> 00:11:48,710
It’s a first draft! I got zero likes.

409
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:51,418
I was “wearing edible underwear while lying by the pool.”

410
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,030
Let’s try that again.

411
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,650
This game is so hard to earn any kind of respect.

412
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,600
Let’s do a date simulation video.

413
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,690
Maybe it’s an ASMR exorcism video.

414
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:04,370
Two likes! I’m gonna cross remote it on my other socials.

415
00:12:04,373 --> 00:12:05,303
Here we go.

416
00:12:05,303 --> 00:12:06,673
No one subscribed.

417
00:12:06,673 --> 00:12:08,023
Okay, sto-wha-okay..

418
00:12:08,023 --> 00:12:09,693
my OnlyFans career is dead.

419
00:12:09,693 --> 00:12:10,473
Age up!

420
00:12:11,036 --> 00:12:12,836
“My boyfriend has identified as transgender.

421
00:12:12,836 --> 00:12:14,376
She's changed her name to Grace.

422
00:12:14,376 --> 00:12:17,067
How will you respond? Support her unconditionally,” of course!

423
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:17,977
Aw :D!

424
00:12:17,977 --> 00:12:19,527
That was unexpected, but happy news.

425
00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:21,787
I’m glad that Grace is now comfortable in her skin.

426
00:12:21,787 --> 00:12:22,897
My boyfriend is now a girlfriend.

427
00:12:22,897 --> 00:12:24,427
I feel like we should have more of a conversation about this.

428
00:12:24,427 --> 00:12:26,127
“We discussed how many lovers we’ve had.”

429
00:12:26,127 --> 00:12:28,387
Okay? Did that go down well?

430
00:12:28,387 --> 00:12:30,587
I feel like we can get a better job than being an exorcist.

431
00:12:30,587 --> 00:12:32,737
Right, I’m resigning from exorcism.

432
00:12:33,077 --> 00:12:34,667
Let’s try and get some more monay!

433
00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:36,057
There’s a little museum in Rossendale, actually.

434
00:12:36,057 --> 00:12:39,147
I could work there, but I’m gonna try to be an airline pilot.

435
00:12:39,879 --> 00:12:41,290
No. Okay. Fine,

436
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,040
let’s go to the museum.

437
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:43,880
Nope?

438
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,260
Oh God maybe I shouldn’t have resigned.

439
00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:46,401
A P(dog bark)n cameraman?

440
00:12:47,257 --> 00:12:50,407
I was offered to be a P(dog bark)n editor, uh,

441
00:12:50,407 --> 00:12:53,527
when I was in university, maybe this is what it is for me now.

442
00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:54,703
Rejected.

443
00:12:54,703 --> 00:12:56,723
Am I going to have to be an apprentice beekeeper?

444
00:12:56,981 --> 00:12:58,231
This is not going well.

445
00:12:58,231 --> 00:13:00,661
“Which of these ‘The Office’ characters did you relate to most?”

446
00:13:00,661 --> 00:13:03,321
NONE of those are good options; I’m gonna go with Ryan,

447
00:13:03,321 --> 00:13:04,831
because he’s a bit of an entrepreneur.

448
00:13:05,461 --> 00:13:07,441
Yes! I’m a beekeeper now.

449
00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:10,046
Let’s praise the Bitlife devs. Do I have to watch an ad?

450
00:13:10,046 --> 00:13:11,022
(ad starts/ Lady: Hello everyone.

451
00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:13,092
Yes. Okay. (L: While our cabin crew completes their final checks,

452
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,722
I wanted to tell you my favorite-”) Let’s hope it’s worth it.

453
00:13:14,722 --> 00:13:15,731
(angels singing)

454
00:13:15,731 --> 00:13:16,978
“Your prayers were answered!

455
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,422
While getting a coffee, the clouds above you parted and

456
00:13:19,422 --> 00:13:21,546
dropped 8,000 pounds into your hands.”

457
00:13:21,546 --> 00:13:22,666
I mean, I’m not gonna complain!

458
00:13:22,666 --> 00:13:24,356
Did it fall out of a crashing plane, though, 'cus

459
00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:25,466
I know everything comes with a price?

460
00:13:25,466 --> 00:13:27,956
Right, let’s go on a holiday. We’re going to…

461
00:13:27,956 --> 00:13:30,126
“Horneytown, North Carolina,”

462
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,953
Let’s go with Grace. Do it.

463
00:13:32,953 --> 00:13:34,743
“You witness a man pickpocket a woman.”

464
00:13:34,743 --> 00:13:36,453
I don’t think I want to get murdered by the pickpocketer, so

465
00:13:36,453 --> 00:13:37,743
I’m gonna call the police.

466
00:13:37,743 --> 00:13:39,503
That was our experience on holiday?!

467
00:13:39,503 --> 00:13:42,063
Well, at least everything’s 100% now. Age up!

468
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:45,693
“Grace is arguing with you because you've got OnlyFans and is begging you to take it down.

469
00:13:45,693 --> 00:13:48,233
What will you do?” Maybe I should have discussed it with Grace,

470
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,253
before making the account, but

471
00:13:50,253 --> 00:13:52,393
I’m gonna apologize for not mentioning it.

472
00:13:52,393 --> 00:13:55,213
Proposal?! Grace is proposing to me with a diamond ring

473
00:13:55,213 --> 00:13:56,883
at a soccer game. I mean…

474
00:13:56,883 --> 00:13:58,913
The soccer game is a red flag, Grace.

475
00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:01,063
“We’ve been together 5 years..” I’m gonna accept!

476
00:14:01,063 --> 00:14:03,053
I’m now engaged! That is a big life event.

477
00:14:03,053 --> 00:14:04,513
(clapclapclapclapclapclap)

478
00:14:04,513 --> 00:14:05,223
There we go.

479
00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:07,560
“Have a bottle of hot sauce,” as the engagement gift?

480
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,834
She did not like that.

481
00:14:09,843 --> 00:14:10,638
Age up!

482
00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:13,831
“An OnlyFans creator named Gavin Dulwitch wants to collaborate.

483
00:14:13,831 --> 00:14:15,101
He wants to record a video of you two eating

484
00:14:15,101 --> 00:14:17,171
different cheeses”?? (doom sound)

485
00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:17,881
WOT???

486
00:14:17,881 --> 00:14:20,251
Of all the sexy things that I thought was going to appear then,

487
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:22,637
eating different cheeses…ouughh..

488
00:14:22,637 --> 00:14:24,517
I’m gonna have to do it, I’m gonna have to do it.

489
00:14:24,517 --> 00:14:27,797
Is this just the recreation of the eating cheese video I did with Dan?

490
00:14:27,797 --> 00:14:30,628
(past Phil: Phil’s eating…moldy cheese. Oh no no no.)

491
00:14:30,647 --> 00:14:31,550
Go on then.

492
00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:33,430
“I received 4 pounds,”

493
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:34,452
That was not worth it.

494
00:14:34,452 --> 00:14:36,831
What can we do in the Love category? “Set up a threesome?”

495
00:14:37,819 --> 00:14:39,059
Let’s see if Grace wants a threesome.

496
00:14:39,059 --> 00:14:39,881
“Not interested.”

497
00:14:39,881 --> 00:14:41,286
The only option is to argue?

498
00:14:41,286 --> 00:14:43,353
I was only curious what would happen! I’m sorry!

499
00:14:43,353 --> 00:14:45,363
When I get given an option, I've gotta see what happens.

500
00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:47,733
Let’s throw a house party. Yes.

501
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:51,287
“Nine guests come to the lovely house party at your condo.

502
00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:52,747
The police showed up after your neighbors complained about the

503
00:14:52,747 --> 00:14:54,664
noise.” I’m gonna argue with the neighbors.

504
00:14:55,014 --> 00:14:56,604
“The police gave you a warning.”

505
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,684
I feel like if it’s a Friday night, you can’t have a little bit of a party

506
00:14:58,684 --> 00:15:00,534
without your neighbors calling the police.

507
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:03,194
Right. Time for a third pet that’s hopefully gonna live more than a

508
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,654
year. Let’s rescue an animal. A rabbit!

509
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,811
But they don’t live long, I don’t want it to die straight away.

510
00:15:09,185 --> 00:15:09,900
Let’s get a cat.

511
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:11,360
What’s the youngest cat they’ve got to adopt?

512
00:15:11,596 --> 00:15:13,691
Levi the four year old cat is --

513
00:15:13,691 --> 00:15:14,495
C r a z y .

514
00:15:15,903 --> 00:15:16,876
Adopt him.

515
00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:19,215
Yes! I like the name Levi, we’ll keep the name.

516
00:15:19,215 --> 00:15:22,657
I kind of also want a rat, let’s get a rat.

517
00:15:22,657 --> 00:15:25,127
Let’s get a DUMB but sensible rat.

518
00:15:26,147 --> 00:15:26,907
Monty.

519
00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:29,678
Time to age up!

520
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,102
“Collab: Charlie Foster wants to do an OnlyFans collab discussing

521
00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:33,982
historical events,”

522
00:15:33,982 --> 00:15:35,013
Do it.

523
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,575
3 pounds. This is not worth it at all.

524
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:40,095
I guess now that we’re engaged, we should start planning a wedding.

525
00:15:40,095 --> 00:15:41,345
It’s gonna be on the beach,

526
00:15:41,345 --> 00:15:42,667
in Area 51.

527
00:15:43,921 --> 00:15:45,871
Oh, it’s 6,000 pounds? Do it.

528
00:15:45,871 --> 00:15:47,641
“Grace demands signing a prenup."

529
00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:50,941
There’s not that much difference in our cash! I mean, sure, whatever.

530
00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:54,009
I married Grace at the beach.

531
00:15:54,009 --> 00:15:56,915
Yes! We’re married. Right, I want a new job.

532
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,154
I’m not feeling the beekeeper life, I’m sorry.

533
00:15:59,154 --> 00:16:01,784
Let’s quit that. Let’s get a special career.

534
00:16:01,784 --> 00:16:02,494
Astronaut.

535
00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:03,816
The Space Academy.

536
00:16:03,816 --> 00:16:06,114
I didn't - I wasn't aware that there was a British Space Academy!

537
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:08,250
Sure. I need a student loan.

538
00:16:08,324 --> 00:16:09,044
Mother!

539
00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:12,647
Yes! My rich mom! I’ve enrolled!

540
00:16:12,647 --> 00:16:14,437
Alright, let’s do some flight training.

541
00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:16,362
OhmyGod, what?!

542
00:16:17,071 --> 00:16:19,510
This is-I’m stressed. I’m stressed. Ah!

543
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:20,681
Oh, it’s hard to control.

544
00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:21,391
Wait, down-

545
00:16:21,391 --> 00:16:22,311
DOWN!

546
00:16:22,311 --> 00:16:23,277
Ah! No!

547
00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:26,097
I-I don’t wanna kill Phil in the rocket!

548
00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:27,249
AH!

549
00:16:28,641 --> 00:16:30,211
I crashed into an ackrenoid.

550
00:16:30,211 --> 00:16:31,051
An ackrenoid? (record scratch sound effect)

551
00:16:31,051 --> 00:16:33,001
I crashed into the a c k e r n o i d.

552
00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:34,018
Let’s do it again.

553
00:16:34,737 --> 00:16:37,203
Oh, God. Right. This-I’m not even gonna speak.

554
00:16:37,943 --> 00:16:40,756
Christ. Let’s stay up here. 8 seconds left.

555
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:41,604
Down a bit, down.

556
00:16:41,604 --> 00:16:42,554
Eugh, oo,

557
00:16:42,554 --> 00:16:43,464
wAKL;SDJF

558
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:44,680
NO!

559
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:45,621
Come on…

560
00:16:46,488 --> 00:16:50,808
Yeas! That was-that was it?

561
00:16:50,953 --> 00:16:53,432
I’m still bad at this. Technical training.

562
00:16:53,432 --> 00:16:55,442
“‘Which instrument measures the mix and concentration

563
00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:57,870
of the air astronauts breathe inside a spacecraft?’”

564
00:16:58,075 --> 00:17:00,800
The oxygen sensor. Yes. Okay,

565
00:17:00,907 --> 00:17:03,066
“‘How many astronauts have set foot on the Moon?’”

566
00:17:03,221 --> 00:17:06,479
There must’ve been a fair few, right? I’m gonna go..11? 12? 12.

567
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,383
Yes! Alright, that’s enough space training. Age up!

568
00:17:09,383 --> 00:17:13,023
“Mark Y wants to learn how to use a rotary telephone,”

569
00:17:13,023 --> 00:17:14,854
Yes. Six pounds!

570
00:17:15,303 --> 00:17:16,113
Monty!

571
00:17:16,393 --> 00:17:17,783
I only got it yesterday.

572
00:17:18,589 --> 00:17:19,239
Mourn…

573
00:17:19,441 --> 00:17:22,239
I flunked out of the space academy?? After all that?

574
00:17:23,211 --> 00:17:24,861
No… Elizabeth unfriended me?

575
00:17:24,861 --> 00:17:27,051
This is the worst year of my life ever. 32.

576
00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:30,753
Everyone's unfriended me, I flopped space academy, right.

577
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,044
I’m back in the space academy. Let's no eff it up this time.

578
00:17:34,044 --> 00:17:36,170
Right, just redid the whole space academy thing,

579
00:17:36,732 --> 00:17:37,895
and now it’s green.

580
00:17:37,895 --> 00:17:39,090
So, when I age up,

581
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,439
we’re gonna hope.. I get in, after all that

582
00:17:42,439 --> 00:17:43,268
FAF.

583
00:17:43,268 --> 00:17:46,107
It’d be easier to be a real astronaut, right, okay. Age up.

584
00:17:46,374 --> 00:17:48,922
“Clubbing: Some of your friends are going to a local nightclub called

585
00:17:48,922 --> 00:17:51,624
the Sunflower,” I feel like clubbing. I hated it.

586
00:17:51,624 --> 00:17:54,152
I’m 33. I’m too old for clubbing now.

587
00:17:54,442 --> 00:17:56,903
My cat hates me. Oh my God, I forgot I had a cat.

588
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:57,742
Spend some time.

589
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,879
I hid a toy. Is that a nice thing to do?

590
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:01,908
How ya doing wife?

591
00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:03,023
Ooh, nice hair!

592
00:18:03,539 --> 00:18:06,523
How’s all my exes lookin' as well, did they have good lives?

593
00:18:06,523 --> 00:18:10,523
I like Glasscock’s hair, Charles was a clown that I hooked up with,

594
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:14,038
Sally hates me and Samantha hates me.

595
00:18:14,038 --> 00:18:16,388
Okay, cool. Grace, let’s make love.

596
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,673
(game: Yeaah)

597
00:18:17,673 --> 00:18:20,758
Yeh. I went to a puppet show and watched YouTube with my cat.

598
00:18:21,188 --> 00:18:22,032
Get older!

599
00:18:22,614 --> 00:18:24,555
I “graduated from the Space Academy and can

600
00:18:24,555 --> 00:18:26,657
now apply for a job at the Agency”

601
00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:27,630
yes! Let’s do it.

602
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:30,170
“At 450 degrees Celsius, which planet is the hottest in

603
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,408
the solar system?”

604
00:18:31,408 --> 00:18:32,878
It’s gotta be Venus. Yes!

605
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,847
I am a space cadet. Accept the position.

606
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:37,887
Incredible, what can we do, at the job?

607
00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:39,558
Right, another flight simulation.

608
00:18:39,558 --> 00:18:40,325
Here we go.

609
00:18:40,895 --> 00:18:42,515
25 seconds now?!

610
00:18:42,515 --> 00:18:45,968
If I’d known this was involved, still, I wouldn’t have taken the job.

611
00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:48,309
Okay, 7 seconds. I can do this, I can do this.

612
00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:50,566
Geese! No!

613
00:18:50,566 --> 00:18:52,914
3..2..1..

614
00:18:53,762 --> 00:18:55,996
Yes! Should we do a Spacewalk?

615
00:18:55,996 --> 00:18:57,676
Let’s repair a satellite.

616
00:18:57,676 --> 00:18:59,546
“Your friend, Lukas, begs you not to go into space.

617
00:18:59,546 --> 00:19:01,746
He’s worried you’ll get cancer,” (muffled) Oh my God.

618
00:19:01,746 --> 00:19:03,681
I’m only doing a little bit of space.

619
00:19:03,681 --> 00:19:06,031
I’ll reassure him. Begin the mission.

620
00:19:06,031 --> 00:19:08,591
“Your space shuttle just launched and it’s about to break free of

621
00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:11,535
Earth’s gravitational pull when the sudden shift from the extreme

622
00:19:11,535 --> 00:19:13,010
g-force tickles your tummy.”

623
00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:13,904
I’m gonna enjoy it.

624
00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,135
“As you approach the Nebula Navigator, you notice that,

625
00:19:16,135 --> 00:19:18,991
in addition to the camera, you need to report other parts.”

626
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,838
Attempt to fix it. Oh my God.

627
00:19:20,838 --> 00:19:22,758
I’m gonna fix the cameras, then the solar panels,

628
00:19:22,758 --> 00:19:24,033
then the antennas.

629
00:19:24,033 --> 00:19:25,040
All better now.

630
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,657
“Just as you are re-enter Earth’s atmosphere, your crewmate is

631
00:19:27,657 --> 00:19:28,977
recording a Tiktok.”

632
00:19:28,977 --> 00:19:32,118
I’m gonna ask him to help! We’re literally landing the shuttle.

633
00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:34,268
Woo! We survived.

634
00:19:34,268 --> 00:19:36,677
Do I get more money for that? Or no? Okay.

635
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:40,677
Grace, have a gift. I’m back from space. You can have…

636
00:19:40,677 --> 00:19:44,677
a popcorn machine. They don’t like these gifts. Age up.

637
00:19:44,677 --> 00:19:46,327
I got a public appearance as an astronaut.

638
00:19:46,327 --> 00:19:48,637
“When visiting a local primary school, one of the children

639
00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:50,307
is crying because they think I'm an alien who has

640
00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:53,191
body-snatched the real me. Prove you're human,”

641
00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:54,231
I’m gonna…

642
00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:55,533
eat my favorite snack?

643
00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:57,023
I ate 10 Twinkies.

644
00:19:57,808 --> 00:19:59,278
Thought that said something else for a second. Age up.

645
00:19:59,278 --> 00:20:01,339
My mom discovered my OnlyFans page.

646
00:20:01,339 --> 00:20:02,962
Oh, Mum! It’s alright.

647
00:20:02,962 --> 00:20:05,792
I’m only showing tasteful butt pics. I apologize.

648
00:20:05,792 --> 00:20:06,492
NO!

649
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:08,972
This is the worst part of the game. There should be a mod for

650
00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:09,744
invincible pets.

651
00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:11,829
Oh no, I got a fever, probably from space.

652
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,570
Go to the doctor. Baggin’s!

653
00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:15,541
I’ve got the flu again. Treat me.

654
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:17,122
I’m cured!

655
00:20:17,122 --> 00:20:18,641
Right, I’ve got so much money now! I think

656
00:20:18,641 --> 00:20:21,461
it’s time to emigrate to another country. Let’s go to Sweden.

657
00:20:21,461 --> 00:20:22,971
Where I’m going on tour by the way!

658
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:26,245
If you’re Swedish, come hang out with me, it’s gonna be a fun night.

659
00:20:26,245 --> 00:20:28,368
Okay, res-request approval.

660
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:31,868
I’m emigrating to Sweden! I’m going to have to eat a lot of herring.

661
00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:33,214
I got kicked out of the Space Academy?!

662
00:20:33,214 --> 00:20:35,336
Now I’m gonna have to join the Swedish Space Academy!

663
00:20:35,336 --> 00:20:38,464
Right, okay, I’m in the Swedish Space Academy, and my

664
00:20:38,464 --> 00:20:41,847
performance is good so I should get to space in no time. Age up.

665
00:20:43,236 --> 00:20:46,214
I’m joining Twitch? Sure. Sign up for Twitch.

666
00:20:46,214 --> 00:20:47,507
“We’re live, gamers!”

667
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:50,837
Oo, I’m 37! What will the future hold after this?

668
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:54,967
Spend time with everyone…yes. And now I want to see if I can go

669
00:20:54,967 --> 00:20:57,853
to space again. “One of my OnlyFans sent me a…

670
00:20:57,853 --> 00:20:59,103
Nissan Titan?!”

671
00:20:59,398 --> 00:21:01,441
I knew I got into the wrong business, right.

672
00:21:01,441 --> 00:21:05,203
Accept it. Thank you, Jason Vigar.

673
00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:08,753
“Apply for the European Space Agency.” Accept the position.

674
00:21:08,753 --> 00:21:12,117
I’m a space cadet! Yes. Now let’s go on vacation.

675
00:21:12,117 --> 00:21:14,547
Let’s go on a Caribbean cruise with an ocean view. “All the

676
00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:17,159
toilets have stopped working, I’m going to have to pee overboard.”

677
00:21:17,915 --> 00:21:18,805
I loved it.

678
00:21:19,588 --> 00:21:23,045
Nothing like a scenic piss, age up. I’m 39.

679
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,531
I got another car from OnlyFans? This is incredible.

680
00:21:26,531 --> 00:21:29,099
Right, I need to put something else for my OnlyFans subscribers.

681
00:21:29,099 --> 00:21:30,510
“Sensual ASMR–

682
00:21:31,632 --> 00:21:33,972
scratching my fingernails on a corkboard.”

683
00:21:34,256 --> 00:21:35,006
Age up.

684
00:21:35,006 --> 00:21:37,549
How am I looking at the moment? I feel like I need a dye job.

685
00:21:37,789 --> 00:21:39,914
Let’s get this actual hair color now.

686
00:21:41,485 --> 00:21:43,134
There we go, that's a bit more platinum.

687
00:21:43,134 --> 00:21:44,224
Let’s get waxed.

688
00:21:44,224 --> 00:21:45,688
I’m gonna get the “Brozillian Package.”

689
00:21:45,688 --> 00:21:48,221
(game character: Ow) Oh! That was..

690
00:21:48,221 --> 00:21:51,806
Alright, age 40, I just got a Brazilian Wax, and I’m an astronaut.

691
00:21:51,806 --> 00:21:53,406
One more age up.

692
00:21:53,406 --> 00:21:55,228
“Carl has tickets to Harry Styles,”

693
00:21:55,228 --> 00:21:56,290
Yes, let’s go.

694
00:21:56,290 --> 00:21:57,450
I didn't like it. Oh...

695
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,660
“Carl Sundin wants to be best friends.”

696
00:22:00,169 --> 00:22:00,918
Go on, then.

697
00:22:00,918 --> 00:22:02,028
D’ja know what? I think it’s time for a baby.

698
00:22:02,028 --> 00:22:05,759
I’ve got a good career, a happy relationship, let’s adopt a child.

699
00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:07,882
I need a well-behaved kid, Junaid.

700
00:22:08,172 --> 00:22:11,342
A 6 year old Syrian boy. Yes! We’ll keep Junaid but let’s go

701
00:22:11,342 --> 00:22:13,324
Junaid Lester, you’re part of the family now.

702
00:22:13,324 --> 00:22:15,963
And to celebrate, that’s been 10 years, let's renew our vows.

703
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:17,475
Ahh.. <3

704
00:22:17,475 --> 00:22:19,205
I really want a promotion. Age up.

705
00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:21,101
My car is no longer usable.

706
00:22:21,101 --> 00:22:23,674
Okay, well I got 4 from my OnlyFans subscribers, anyways.

707
00:22:23,674 --> 00:22:25,584
Let’s transmit a message across space.

708
00:22:25,584 --> 00:22:27,524
Any hot EILFs in this area?

709
00:22:28,224 --> 00:22:29,014
Alright, age up.

710
00:22:29,263 --> 00:22:31,413
“Do an OnlyFans pillow fight video,” Sure.

711
00:22:31,661 --> 00:22:33,091
I’ve got 100% reputation

712
00:22:33,091 --> 00:22:35,151
as an astronaut now. Spend time with everyone.

713
00:22:36,951 --> 00:22:39,990
Wha-my SON doesn’t want to spend time with me? Why?

714
00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:41,140
Have a yoyo.

715
00:22:42,010 --> 00:22:44,444
Oh my God, my son hates me. Maybe he’s just adjusting

716
00:22:44,444 --> 00:22:47,274
to the adoption process. My mum has constipation.

717
00:22:48,018 --> 00:22:49,308
Age up. 46.

718
00:22:49,624 --> 00:22:51,088
“Armageddon,” Oh my god.

719
00:22:51,088 --> 00:22:53,738
There’s a meteor coming toward Earth. This is-

720
00:22:54,968 --> 00:22:56,358
is this the end of Phil Lester?

721
00:22:56,358 --> 00:22:58,050
“Tap the screen to blast the meteor.”

722
00:22:59,406 --> 00:23:00,776
Ah! (shooting noises)

723
00:23:00,776 --> 00:23:02,687
I’m tapping as fast as I can!” (more shooting noises)

724
00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:05,462
Oh my God.

725
00:23:05,689 --> 00:23:08,149
Oh my god, please! It’s shrinkin!

726
00:23:08,459 --> 00:23:09,119
aH!

727
00:23:11,175 --> 00:23:13,600
Oh my God, come on, come on! I'll save the day!

728
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,000
(yippee sound effect) Yes!

729
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,554
“People around the globe celebrated. Your space agency director,

730
00:23:19,554 --> 00:23:23,814
Viktor, gave you a cash reward of 35 million dollars.”

731
00:23:24,747 --> 00:23:30,056
What the hell? I saved the world! Oh, my God. (clap)

732
00:23:30,056 --> 00:23:32,286
That is a good point to end this video I think.

733
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,154
I am an astronaut hero.

734
00:23:34,154 --> 00:23:36,836
That was stressful. I never tapped so fast for anything in my life.

735
00:23:37,230 --> 00:23:39,380
I bet that would have killed me if I had f(dog bark)d it up.

736
00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:41,760
Wow. “My mother no longer has constipation.”

737
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,620
and I saved the planet.

738
00:23:43,620 --> 00:23:45,920
If you want to see more of the rest of my adult life,

739
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,544
with my son who hates me,

740
00:23:47,544 --> 00:23:50,844
and my surprise wife, Grace, give me a thumbs up.

741
00:23:50,844 --> 00:23:52,094
Maybe I should apply to NASA!

742
00:23:52,094 --> 00:23:54,074
There’s still a lot of life ahead for me over here.

743
00:23:54,074 --> 00:23:56,195
So, thanks again Opera Browser for sponsoring this video,

744
00:23:56,195 --> 00:23:59,848
if you want to upgrade your browsing experience, you can

745
00:23:59,848 --> 00:24:02,492
click the link below, download it, it’s free.

746
00:24:02,492 --> 00:24:05,219
And enjoy browsing in peace.

747
00:24:05,328 --> 00:24:05,785
Ah…

748
00:24:05,785 --> 00:24:09,059
Check out Dan and Phil Games if you wanna see some mayhem over there.

749
00:24:09,059 --> 00:24:10,879
Subscribe if you haven’t already.

750
00:24:10,879 --> 00:24:13,429
Come and see me and Danny on tour as well! It’d be lovely to

751
00:24:13,429 --> 00:24:16,439
hang out with ya, it’s gonna be the best night of your life.

752
00:24:16,439 --> 00:24:20,639
You avoid any asteroids heading towards your face.

753
00:24:20,639 --> 00:24:21,480
Goodbye!