[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:01.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you missed my last video,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.36,0:00:02.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I filled you in on how I recently
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.72,0:00:03.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got a boyfriend,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.75,0:00:04.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,broke up with him,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.85,0:00:05.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got another one,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.63,0:00:07.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,started a new university degree doing
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.30,0:00:08.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PHILosophy
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.38,0:00:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that all took place
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.42,0:00:11.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my alternative universe Bitlife!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.75,0:00:13.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we’re gonna jump back in with Philly age 18
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.40,0:00:14.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,– can I keep myself alive?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.85,0:00:16.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(until a lovely, grand old age)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.90,0:00:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think 96 would be good.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.16,0:00:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So to fill you in, I’ve got Joshua Glasscock
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.48,0:00:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who’s my boyfriend.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.06,0:00:22.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He likes me quite a lot,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.86,0:00:24.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despite the disappointing bedroom action.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.59,0:00:25.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can we try and do a bit better,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.84,0:00:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,second time lucky?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.80,0:00:28.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.39,0:00:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That’s even worse!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.68,0:00:32.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This isn’t everything in a relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.18,0:00:33.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it might not last.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.14,0:00:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, wait, you spend time with everyone?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.61,0:00:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That saves so much time.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.67,0:00:37.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“You invested in nine of your relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.43,0:00:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your stepmom and stepdad refused
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.80,0:00:40.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to spend time with you”?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.24,0:00:42.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my God! F you, stepdad.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.18,0:00:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna insult him.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.76,0:00:46.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I called him a maniac.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.81,0:00:47.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m insulting her as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.55,0:00:49.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, take that, blockhead!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.37,0:00:50.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright- (game character: Ow!)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.25,0:00:51.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AH!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.77,0:00:52.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She attacked me, what the hell?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.05,0:00:56.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“She elbowed my knee and spanked my forearm”?!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.03,0:00:57.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(smack) Bad adult son!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.91,0:00:59.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, we’re aging up.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.20,0:01:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, and my mom and stepdad just had a baby boy
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.04,0:01:02.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,named Jayden, my new half brother–
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.83,0:01:04.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jayden Rogers.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.15,0:01:05.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AW, I’ve got a bro!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.70,0:01:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Will I be an insightful and protective big brother?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.91,0:01:09.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I always wondered what I would've been like,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.89,0:01:10.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it were the other way around.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.68,0:01:11.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Probably not.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.52,0:01:13.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“He was conceived on a Caribbean cruise,”
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.32,0:01:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they go on so many boujee holidays without me!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.12,0:01:16.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, let’s make friends with the bay-bae.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.83,0:01:18.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, the only thing I could do is recruit him to a cult
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.67,0:01:19.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(ominous noise)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.33,0:01:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I’m not gonna do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.22,0:01:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, let’s do some extracurricular drama.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.18,0:01:22.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AH
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.72,0:01:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,NO
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.41,0:01:25.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I quit it by accident! (sad horn sounds)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.29,0:01:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't mean to press that!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.56,0:01:28.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me back in! (sad horn sounds)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.34,0:01:29.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They refused to let me back in!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.94,0:01:31.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aw.. frick.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.32,0:01:32.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, I’ll do another one.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.50,0:01:33.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna join the tennis team,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.35,0:01:34.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe I can be in my Challengers era?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.81,0:01:35.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(sad horn sounds again)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.63,0:01:36.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rejected again?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.88,0:01:37.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zendaya, you’ve already got two men–
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.98,0:01:41.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay, somethin’, somethin’s gotta let me in!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.22,0:01:42.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The debate team.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.62,0:01:43.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna be a yapper.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.77,0:01:45.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes! Okay, right, what can I do now that I’m an adult?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.81,0:01:47.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, play the lottery. Come on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.45,0:01:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let’s get one ticket.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.95,0:01:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not win.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.71,0:01:50.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh :( great :,(
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.44,0:01:53.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hit up the casino, just havin’ a gambling moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.65,0:01:55.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna go to “Peak Resort”.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.13,0:01:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uh??
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.41,0:01:56.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m not paying 600 quid?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.63,0:01:58.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I’m gonna bet 50 quid.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.23,0:02:00.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t know how Blackjack works.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.77,0:02:02.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright you have to get “21 without going over”.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.45,0:02:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’ve got 19, I’m gonna stay with 19.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.02,0:02:06.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(yippeee! sound effect) YES!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.66,0:02:07.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, one more try.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.34,0:02:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,100 POUNDS.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.26,0:02:11.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(gasp) I’ve got 20!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.33,0:02:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’ll stand.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.69,0:02:13.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(sad horn) >:(
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.24,0:02:14.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! I’ve lost–
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.63,0:02:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m down 50 quid!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.80,0:02:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, do not gamble!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.36,0:02:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In life, I’m still up on the Gremlin slot machine
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.04,0:02:20.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I got like 600 quid on my first go.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.21,0:02:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dan: Bloody hell.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.63,0:02:24.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,D: Explain-
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.50,0:02:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,D: explain. Phil: I don’t know how it happened!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.81,0:02:26.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,P: It just happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.62,0:02:27.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,D: You’re hacking, aren’t you?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.53,0:02:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,P: Yeah
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.80,0:02:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m never doing it again,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.62,0:02:29.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Bellagio hates me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.96,0:02:30.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, I can go clubbing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.95,0:02:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What sounds the most gay,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.14,0:02:34.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna go with “Essence Disco”...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.53,0:02:35.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would be like the Willow in New York,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.67,0:02:37.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but will they give us prawn crackers here?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.20,0:02:39.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn’t love it that much.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.01,0:02:40.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(gasp) “Even though you have a boyfriend,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.51,0:02:42.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have an opportunity to have a one night stand
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.33,0:02:44.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a dude named Charles Waddle."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.98,0:02:45.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,DO him?!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.68,0:02:46.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.15,0:02:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, I’d normally be against cheating but
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.76,0:02:49.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think because we’ve had such a bad time in the bedroom,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.88,0:02:52.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(sad horn) maybe this is just to test out
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.13,0:02:54.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if everything’s okay or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.01,0:02:56.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m tempted just for the messiness of this video.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.15,0:02:57.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did it, I’m sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.11,0:02:59.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“Things are getting hot and you’re thinking about being safe-”
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.15,0:03:01.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes! (gasp)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.01,0:03:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“You walk around with a pep in your step the next day.”
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.74,0:03:04.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, we both really enjoyed that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.23,0:03:06.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not sure if me and Glasscock are compatible.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.08,0:03:07.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(scary noise) Oh, no he found out!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.87,0:03:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now he’s mad, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.38,0:03:12.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, let’s go to couple’s counseling.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.09,0:03:13.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,150 quid?!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.24,0:03:17.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cheated, so I’ll ask him to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.39,0:03:19.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh no, he doesn’t want to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.15,0:03:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let’s try again.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.56,0:03:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I think as we’ve not been…enjoying ourselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.52,0:03:25.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we might not be compatible.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.15,0:03:27.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We gotta break up. I’m sorry, Joshua.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.10,0:03:29.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, single and ready to mingle!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.41,0:03:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let’s age up!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.42,0:03:31.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(scary noise) NO!!!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.20,0:03:36.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hate this game, WHY?! MARLEY!!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.11,0:03:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was such a jumpscare, I didn’t see it
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.94,0:03:41.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The cruelness of life, “Your Welsh corgi,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.39,0:03:44.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marley, died at the age of 14. He perished after losing his last fight,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.93,0:03:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against old age.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.96,0:03:47.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mourn his death or have him taxidermied,”
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.09,0:03:50.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna get him taxidermied.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.21,0:03:53.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Stuff the dog!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.19,0:03:56.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“The taxidermist successfully taxidermied your Welsh corgi, Marley!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.29,0:03:57.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looks fresh as a daisy.”
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.81,0:03:58.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.71,0:04:00.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can’t interact with him, though…
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.20,0:04:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it’s just a late pet.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.66,0:04:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I’m bummed out now,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.03,0:04:04.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I need a massage or something..
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.34,0:04:05.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go to the movies, just don’t watch Marley and me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.92,0:04:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comedy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.60,0:04:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Okay, we’re getting better.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.40,0:04:10.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, we’re getting a haircut, that’ll cheer him up-
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.71,0:04:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually need one right now as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.58,0:04:14.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“Select this style,”
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.01,0:04:15.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That’s what I should’ve done in university
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.28,0:04:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I was walking around lookin’ like this!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.92,0:04:18.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No wonder there weren’t many Glasscocks in my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.61,0:04:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AGE.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.25,0:04:20.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“Your friend, Emily, has invited you to indulge in a
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.93,0:04:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,six year old bottle of triple sec her parents have been saving."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.41,0:04:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m in.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.58,0:04:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not enjoy that.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.94,0:04:27.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, as university is coming to an end, I think
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.38,0:04:28.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I need a part time job.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.50,0:04:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait, the best paying thing is a Mall Santa?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.77,0:04:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m in.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.16,0:04:34.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna be the youngest looking Mall Santa ever.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.53,0:04:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don’t want me. Damn it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.10,0:04:38.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not sure if I trust myself with chemicals, but let’s try Lab Assistant.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.19,0:04:40.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes! I got the job. Alright.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.67,0:04:42.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It must be so bad at school to be given one of those nicknames
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.85,0:04:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that just sticks with you forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.23,0:04:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone in my house was taking chemistry and he
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.85,0:04:47.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spilled some chemical on his hand, called bromine,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.85,0:04:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and literally all the lads in my class just called him
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.88,0:04:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“Bromine” for the next three years.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before we age Philly up again,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to thank the wickedly talented sponsor of today’s video,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Opera Browser!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you want a browser that is satisfying like a sloth slowly
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,climbing up your body and falling asleep in your clavicle?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I have the browser just for you!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Firstly, you’ve got the “tab islands” feature,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is so sexy,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it just clumps ‘em all together.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, when you’re looking at somethin’ you have a little group,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have another little group.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn’t turn into a squirrel’s nest.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also really like the "lucid" feature,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is useful if you’re watching a YouTube video
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it looks a little blurry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at those little babies.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch this–
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lucid!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, Daniel,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’ve never seen you look so sharp!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m also a fan of the “snapshot” feature.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some browsers are so clunky,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to do a snapshot.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Opera’s just got a nice camera button,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can crop in then and there,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and add some of your own little bits to it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There’s a whole heap of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other features as well,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so if this has inspired youuuu
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to give Opera Browser a go,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can click the link below,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it’s completely free,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and feel like this sloth…
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on my body.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Age up!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I graduated!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With a degree in Philosophy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I need an actual job.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello, mister Job Recruiter.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is so expensive.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I’m gonna do it myself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right. This is where it gets serious.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There’s so many choices!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can be an exorcist?!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m tempted.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A junior marine biologist sounds cool!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually really wanted to do that for a while,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but then I remembered I’m kind of scared of the sea.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There’s so much unexplored down there,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they just want to lick your leg.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was on holiday the other week, I was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just poodling along, snorkelin’ and I saw an urchin!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What in the frickin’ Pokemon is this,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ready to stab my legs out?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I don’t want to know what the Ultra Urchin ™
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is in the Mariana Trench.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna face my fears though,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanna do it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Denied.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They heard me talkin’ sh-t.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about exorcist?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“While being interviewed for the Exorcist position at
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rossendale Community Church” –
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I need this to become reality–
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“How did you hear about this position?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thorough research led me to it.”
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,YES!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am now an exorcist.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot see this ending well.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got 17 grand for the year. Okay.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So fact about Rossendale, Pendle Hill was one
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the most haunted places in the UK. It’s also
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,UFO Alley where the most UFO sightings are,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe everyone’s just on a lot of drugs.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, let’s see if I exorcise anything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, there are some big business happening in this exorcism church.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, Benedict, look at that Ginger QUOFF on your head.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,D’ja wanna be my friend?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes! I made a fellow exorcist friend.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can make a Youtube channel together, kicking ghosts in the face.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking of, shall we have a look at the social media?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let’s get a Youtube channel and see what happens.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m gonna post an exorcism video.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“How To Exorcise A Demon”.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, I got one view.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That’s how you always start on YouTube though!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this universe, it’s still Twitter!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s the good timeline. Let’s get a Twitter as well.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let’s post a sexy exorcism pic!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It got zero likes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is hard.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about a video of me playing Bitlife?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t know what the Alphabet Challenge is, but
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it got me 2 extra views and 2 subscribers.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Plastic surgery.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can get p(dark bark)is enlargement surgery?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I’m beautiful the way I am.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I need an apartment, really. Can I get a mortgage on
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this lovely condo?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes! I can get a pet! Okay, things are looking up.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I buy my own hamster (gasp)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alright we’re gonna do the guinea pig.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s another DUMB animal that is very healthy,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unlike Rollo, rest in peace my guinea pig Rollo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We did not have that much time together.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“True love,” Aw! Yes! Oh, I can rename it. I mean, of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,course you can, it’s not like the gerbil’s gonna be like,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“That’s not my name.”
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Garyy!! Gareh!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“That’s better,”
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,