[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.84,0:00:04.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-♪ I´m Henry the VIII\NI am
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.44,0:00:10.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Henry the VIII I am, I am\NI´ve been eating since 6 AM
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.67,0:00:13.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For days!\NAnd I´ll have dinner again
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.44,0:00:15.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My name´s synonimous with cuckney
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.93,0:00:17.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I will eat a turkey\Nor a ham ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.24,0:00:21.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Stop singing that song!\NWe all know who you are
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.98,0:00:27.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Her Magesty: Margerine of Aragon!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.55,0:00:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-What are you doing outta bed?\NI just planted my seed in your womanly dirt
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.86,0:00:33.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Your magesty,\NI know you want a son,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.46,0:00:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but must we discuss my womb\Nin front of the entire court?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.23,0:00:38.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.67,0:00:42.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-As the royal physician it is my\Nopinion that her womb
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.33,0:00:44.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is filled with sea serpents.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.23,0:00:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Loud snoring)\N-Must sire a dude, sire a dude.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.72,0:00:55.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Father dearest,\NI am the son your crave,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.88,0:00:57.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I´m smart, athletic,\Nand ever so masculine
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.17,0:01:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Could a girl belch like this?\N(Loud belch)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.40,0:01:04.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-OH, my beautiful boy,\Nwhy can´t I have you?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.91,0:01:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I dunno,\Ntoo much jerking your merking?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.25,0:01:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Get out of my dream\Nand into my wife!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.56,0:01:16.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I could have married the king of France\NHe wasn´t so preoccupied
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.26,0:01:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with procreation\NTing-aling-aling,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.11,0:01:20.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Know what I mean?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.66,0:01:24.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh look at me!\NI eat, and eat, and eat,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.06,0:01:25.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I never get any thinner.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.01,0:01:27.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, then there´s more of you to worship \Nold sire!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.66,0:01:30.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Who would dare to flatter a king?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.43,0:01:35.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Anne Boleyn, loyal subject, big fan.\NModern Wench Magazine
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.03,0:01:36.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dubbed me "Anne of the child bearing hips"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.36,0:01:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, wide hips indeed!\NMy son could cart-wheel out...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.13,0:01:47.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oi, where are you taking me?\N-Marriage counceling!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.26,0:01:54.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-We came here to talk our problems!\N-Fine, I wanna marry Anne Boleyn,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.50,0:01:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I can´t chop my wife´s head\Noff because her father
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.56,0:01:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the king of Spain!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.21,0:02:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Your Magesty, your feelings are valid,\Nbut I´m afraid marriage
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.00,0:02:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,takes a lot of hardwork...\N(clicks his fingers)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.49,0:02:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And who needs that?\NI say trade that lemon and get busy!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.96,0:02:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Whohoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.10,0:02:10.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Divorce?\NThere´s no such thing
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.90,0:02:13.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Catholiathic church,\Nbut that´s the only church we´ve got,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.68,0:02:16.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so, what are you gonna do?\N-Start my own Church!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.85,0:02:20.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, my own Church,\Nwhere divorce will be so easy
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.56,0:02:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more than half the\Nmarriages will end in it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.70,0:02:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Your Magesty, I work for the Pope,\Nand I think a celibate
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.30,0:02:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Italian weirdo knows\Na lot more about marriage
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.61,0:02:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than you.\N-I understand, and because you
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.83,0:02:34.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stuck to your principles,\NI´m going to canonize you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.86,0:02:38.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Bang)\N-I can see my house!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.75,0:02:43.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Sweety, sometimes a mommy and a daddy\Ndecide to live apart,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.83,0:02:46.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It´s not your fault,\Nit´s just that you came out
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.65,0:02:50.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wrong sex and ruined everything.\N-So grow a penis or
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.04,0:02:57.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get lost!\N(Effort sound)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.93,0:02:59.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I can´t!\N-Bye-bye!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.75,0:03:02.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-But why can´t your heir be\Nfemale, or why
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.04,0:03:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can´t we elect our leaders.\N-I wonder if we could canonize a child...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.73,0:03:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Leaving!\N-Hey, I invented divorce,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.92,0:03:13.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how did you get half of everything?\N-You should´ve invented the pre-nup,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.16,0:03:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now, half of your kingdom please!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.34,0:03:19.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I get Ireland?\N(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.10,0:03:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-And by the power vested \Non me by you just now
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.40,0:03:26.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pronounce you King and....\Ntrophy queen.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.02,0:03:32.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the name of the Henry, the Hank, \Nand the holy Harry, Amen, Henry.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.61,0:03:35.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Kissing)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.05,0:03:38.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ok, now let´s put a son in the oven.\N(kissing)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.63,0:03:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ow, Henry!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.96,0:03:50.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Henry, sorry I bore you a daughter.\N-Stop, Anne! I love her,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.83,0:03:53.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as much as I love you!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.13,0:03:55.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Drums)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.07,0:03:56.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Your head lives for five \Nseconds afterwards,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.90,0:04:01.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I left a magazine in the basket.\N(Axe beheading)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.23,0:04:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, my horoscope!\NToday will bring welcome new changes
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.43,0:04:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into your life.\NWrong!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.47,0:04:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Sir Scratchy,\NI accuse you of conducting
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.71,0:04:12.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a Catholic mass!\N-Lord Itchy, I accuse you
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.28,0:04:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of not signing the Act of Succession!\N(fighting grunting)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.61,0:04:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, if only I had a son\Nto enjoy this with...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.00,0:04:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey baby, how would\Nyou like to be queen for a day?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.44,0:04:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)\N-It´s funny cuz you are King!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.00,0:04:35.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Do you, Jane Seymur,\Ntake this king to be your
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.16,0:04:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lawfully wedded husband, \Ntill your first little spat?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.43,0:04:42.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I do, I double do!\NHenry is the ginchiest!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.26,0:04:46.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-The Lord is my She...\N(Axe beheading)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.87,0:04:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I told you I was a dude!\N(Axe beheading)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.67,0:04:51.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You didn´t dump me I dumped you!\N(Axe beheading)