(Church bells ringing)
(Alarm clock ringing)
(Music)
Father: "What did I say, Tony? Tony!" - "Sorry! The volume's fucked again!" - "Turn it down!!"
Tony: "I'm trying!" - "Every fucking moment..." - "All right, all right!" - "Turn that thing out!" - "What?"
Father: "Turn that fucking thing out! It's trash! Jesus Christ!! Turn that bloody thing out! Tonyyy! Tony!
Oh shit!" (Door slams, Music fades)
(Rattling at the door) Father: "When are you getting out of there?" - "Not long now" - "Who fucking..."
Father: "How come I'm never even allowed to use my own bathroom?!"
(Knocking and rattling)
Mother: "Hey sweetheart, want some eggs?" - "No, thanks" - "Effy's home. She didn't sleep too well"
Father: "Tony, get out of there! I need to pee! Tony! What's he doing up there?
Fucking his fucking poo or something? I mean, what is he doing?" - "I think that lock's messed up again.
I put the drill under the sink."
Father: "James Blunt, Tony... I want to fucking piss!" - "Jim, I was just wondering...
Do you have to swear all the time?" - "Ohh shoot."
(Drilling) Father: "Every fucking moment!"
Tony: "Wake up, Sid!" - "I'm asleep" - "No, you're not" - "...or just too bored to speak to you,
so leave a message!" - "You're a lazy turtle. We have plans, remember? It's about your cock! Ring me."
"Waaah! Hahah, got you! I'm not available right now, leave a message." - "Lazy fuckers..."
(Music, ringing)"Tony? What?" - "Hey Jal, can you come to Nip's house?" - "Nip's hosue!?
She lives half a mile away." - "Yeah. Just come around..." - "I'm trying to fucking practise here!"
Tony: "Hang on, I've got another call coming in. Stay in the line." - "Oh Jesus..." - "Hey Nips!"
Nips: "Stop calling me Nips, Tony!" - "It's a funny name! I've seen a guy named Nips.
He was fucking hilarious!" - "My nipples are not funny, okay?" - "That's YOUR opinion...
Anyway. You said you'd have a go with Sid today?" - "What?" - "With Sid, the virgin."
Nips: "You weren't serious!" - "Look. He's got Papa's dick, ..." - "God, Tony.
Do I have to?" - "You promised! Hang on, I've got someone on the line" - "Whatever..."
Chris: "Hey man, you allright?" - "Where the fuck is everyone? It's nine o'clock!" - "Oh man, I'm in bed!"
Tony: "How are we gonna get Sid?" - "Oh God. I'm busy! Busy, busy, remember?" - "Ah, got you."
Chris: "Yo!" - "Give her a big hello from me, okay?" - "I think I already did that in here. See you later"
Tony: "Just come, okay? That's not too much to ask for. Sid's almost 17!
He's gotta get laid before his birthday, otherwise he can't be my friend, oviously."
Jal: "What the fuck are you talking about, Tony?" - "Oh, sorry Jal. Next in line, can you hold?"