0:00:00.824,0:00:04.517 I've been a critical care EMT for the past[br]seven years in Suffolk County, New York. 0:00:04.517,0:00:06.359 I've been a first responder in a number of incidents 0:00:06.359,0:00:09.677 ranging from car accidents to Hurricane Sandy. 0:00:09.677,0:00:11.421 If you are like most people, death might be 0:00:11.421,0:00:13.389 one of your greatest fears. 0:00:13.389,0:00:14.810 Some of us will see it coming. 0:00:14.810,0:00:16.809 Some of us won't. 0:00:16.809,0:00:18.913 There is a little-known documented medical term 0:00:18.913,0:00:20.859 called impending doom. 0:00:20.859,0:00:22.186 It's almost a symptom. 0:00:22.186,0:00:23.919 As a medical provider, I'm trained to respond 0:00:23.919,0:00:25.741 to this symptom like any other, 0:00:25.741,0:00:27.282 so when a patient having a heart attack looks at me 0:00:27.282,0:00:29.510 and says, "I'm going to die today," 0:00:29.510,0:00:33.236 we are trained to reevaluate the patient's condition. 0:00:33.236,0:00:35.382 Throughout my career, I have responded 0:00:35.382,0:00:37.328 to a number of incidents where the patient 0:00:37.328,0:00:38.965 had minutes left to live 0:00:38.965,0:00:42.090 and there was nothing I could do for them. 0:00:42.090,0:00:44.876 With this, I was faced with a dilemma: 0:00:44.876,0:00:48.588 Do I tell the dying that they are about to face death, 0:00:48.588,0:00:51.615 or do I lie to them to comfort them? 0:00:51.615,0:00:53.808 Early in my career, I faced this dilemma 0:00:53.808,0:00:55.366 by simply lying. 0:00:55.366,0:00:57.295 I was afraid. 0:00:57.295,0:00:59.635 I was afraid if I told them the truth, 0:00:59.635,0:01:02.976 that they would die in terror, in fear, 0:01:02.976,0:01:06.182 just grasping for those last moments of life. 0:01:06.182,0:01:08.950 That all changed with one incident. 0:01:08.950,0:01:11.799 Five years ago, I responded to a motorcycle accident. 0:01:11.799,0:01:14.601 The rider had suffered critical, critical injuries. 0:01:14.601,0:01:17.432 As I assessed him, I realized that there was nothing 0:01:17.432,0:01:19.399 that could be done for him, 0:01:19.399,0:01:22.664 and like so many other cases,[br]he looked me in the eye 0:01:22.664,0:01:27.076 and asked that question: "Am I going to die?" 0:01:27.076,0:01:30.582 In that moment, I decided to do something different. 0:01:30.582,0:01:33.462 I decided to tell him the truth. 0:01:33.462,0:01:36.556 I decided to tell him that he was going to die 0:01:36.556,0:01:39.820 and that there was nothing I could do for him. 0:01:39.820,0:01:43.596 His reaction shocked me to this day. 0:01:43.596,0:01:45.501 He simply laid back and had a look 0:01:45.501,0:01:47.927 of acceptance on his face. 0:01:47.927,0:01:49.630 He was not met with that terror or fear 0:01:49.630,0:01:52.010 that I thought he would be. 0:01:52.010,0:01:55.222 He simply laid there, and as I looked into his eyes, 0:01:55.222,0:01:57.950 I saw inner peace and acceptance. 0:01:57.950,0:01:59.688 From that moment forward, I decided 0:01:59.688,0:02:04.402 it was not my place to comfort the dying with my lies. 0:02:04.402,0:02:07.147 Having responded to many cases since then 0:02:07.147,0:02:09.655 where patients were in their last moments 0:02:09.655,0:02:11.511 and there was nothing I could do for them, 0:02:11.511,0:02:13.150 in almost every case, 0:02:13.150,0:02:16.484 they have all had the same reaction to the truth, 0:02:16.484,0:02:18.550 of inner peace and acceptance. 0:02:18.550,0:02:20.972 In fact, there are three patterns 0:02:20.972,0:02:25.247 I have observed in all these cases. 0:02:25.247,0:02:28.903 The first pattern always kind of shocked me. 0:02:28.903,0:02:32.840 Regardless of religious belief or cultural background, 0:02:32.840,0:02:35.675 there's a need for forgiveness. 0:02:35.675,0:02:37.221 Whether they call it sin 0:02:37.221,0:02:40.090 or they simply say they have a regret, 0:02:40.090,0:02:42.503 their guilt is universal. 0:02:42.503,0:02:43.899 I had once cared for an elderly gentleman 0:02:43.899,0:02:46.317 who was having a massive heart attack. 0:02:46.317,0:02:48.443 As I prepared myself and my equipment 0:02:48.443,0:02:51.368 for his imminent cardiac arrest, 0:02:51.368,0:02:55.721 I began to tell the patient of his imminent demise. 0:02:55.721,0:02:58.719 He already knew by my tone[br]of voice and body language. 0:02:58.719,0:03:01.385 As I placed the defibrillator pads on his chest, 0:03:01.385,0:03:03.289 prepping for what was going to happen, 0:03:03.289,0:03:05.817 he looked me in the eye and said, 0:03:05.817,0:03:08.517 "I wish I had spent more time with[br]my children and grandchildren 0:03:08.517,0:03:11.588 instead of being selfish with my time." 0:03:11.588,0:03:13.920 Faced with imminent death, 0:03:13.920,0:03:16.854 all he wanted was forgiveness. 0:03:16.854,0:03:18.742 The second pattern I observe 0:03:18.742,0:03:21.030 is the need for remembrance. 0:03:21.030,0:03:23.287 Whether it was to be remembered in my thoughts 0:03:23.287,0:03:25.001 or their loved ones', they needed to feel 0:03:25.001,0:03:27.150 that they would be living on. 0:03:27.150,0:03:29.474 There's a need for immortality 0:03:29.474,0:03:32.118 within the hearts and thoughts of their loved ones, 0:03:32.118,0:03:35.391 myself, my crew, or anyone around. 0:03:35.391,0:03:38.282 Countless times, I have had a [br]patient look me in the eyes 0:03:38.282,0:03:42.220 and say, "Will you remember me?" 0:03:42.220,0:03:44.672 The final pattern I observe 0:03:44.672,0:03:47.900 always touched me the deepest, to the soul. 0:03:47.900,0:03:51.440 The dying need to know that their life had meaning. 0:03:51.440,0:03:54.222 They need to know that they did not waste their life 0:03:54.222,0:03:57.170 on meaningless tasks. 0:03:57.170,0:04:00.319 This came to me very, very early in my career. 0:04:00.319,0:04:02.408 I had responded to a call. 0:04:02.408,0:04:04.332 There was a female in her late 50s 0:04:04.332,0:04:06.390 severely pinned within a vehicle. 0:04:06.390,0:04:10.068 She had been t-boned at a high rate of speed, 0:04:10.068,0:04:12.500 critical, critical condition. 0:04:12.500,0:04:14.740 As the fire department worked[br]to remove her from the car, 0:04:14.740,0:04:17.707 I climbed in to begin to render care. 0:04:17.707,0:04:20.767 As we talked, she had said to me, 0:04:20.767,0:04:23.980 "There was so much more[br]I wanted to do with my life." 0:04:23.980,0:04:27.832 She had felt she had not left her mark on this Earth. 0:04:27.832,0:04:29.789 As we talked further, it would turn out 0:04:29.789,0:04:32.197 that she was a mother of two adopted children 0:04:32.197,0:04:35.312 who were both on their way to medical school. 0:04:35.312,0:04:37.382 Because of her, two children 0:04:37.382,0:04:40.100 had a chance they never would have had otherwise 0:04:40.100,0:04:42.321 and would go on to save lives in the medical field 0:04:42.321,0:04:44.683 as medical doctors. 0:04:44.683,0:04:46.472 It would end up taking 45 minutes 0:04:46.472,0:04:48.339 to free her from the vehicle. 0:04:48.339,0:04:52.569 However, she perished prior to freeing her. 0:04:52.569,0:04:54.661 I believed what you saw in the movies: 0:04:54.661,0:04:55.945 when you're in those last moments 0:04:55.945,0:04:58.857 that it's strictly terror, fear. 0:04:58.857,0:05:01.535 I have come to realize,[br]regardless of the circumstance, 0:05:01.535,0:05:04.448 it's generally met with peace and acceptance, 0:05:04.448,0:05:08.140 that it's the littlest things, the littlest moments, 0:05:08.140,0:05:11.704 the littlest things you brought into the world 0:05:11.704,0:05:14.633 that give you peace in those final moments. 0:05:14.633,0:05:16.665 Thank you. 0:05:16.665,0:05:20.319 (Applause)