TJ: Tomato surprise, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the lunch room.
Spinelli: Last time I ate this stuff my gut was on fire for a week. It's like acid!
Gretchen: Citric acid actually, and a carbon base electromagnetically
heated to create a synthetic compound which has some admirable qualities.
TJ: You mean it's OK to eat?
Gretchen: No, I mean if you let it age it could burn a hole in a concrete floor.
Vince: It doesn't have too far to go right now.
TJ: That's it! This time they've gone too far!
All these years they've been feeding us fish sticks made out of cardboard.
Macaroni and cheese stuck together with paste. And now this!
Well I've had enough! I say it's time we go back there
and find us the good food they've been keeping from us all along!
Vince: TJ you've gotta be crazy!
TJ: Maybe, but at least I'll be full. Now who's with me?
Spinelli: I'm in. Mikey: I'm in. Gretchen: Me to.
TJ: Great, now let's go get us some food.
Cover me, I'm going in.
[The Good Food]
(TJ gasps)
Miss Finster, how nice to see you!
TJ Detweiller . . . we meet again.
(TJ gulps)
Miss Finster: Let's look at a boy who seems to enjoy breaking school rules.
A boy who scrawled crude chalk caricatures on Principle Prickly's door,
and now this! Pilfering food from the cafeteria kitchen!
What do you suppose we should do with a boy this bad?
Say, I have an idea . . .
NO RECESS
(Everyone gasps)
Mikey: Why doesn't she just tear out his soul!
(TJ gulps)
Randall: Miss Finster, Miss Finster! Those girls over there said a bad word.
Miss Finster: Good boy Randall. Here's a cookie.
Spinelli: Psst, TJ!
TJ: Hey guys.
Vince: How're ya holding out buddy?
TJ: Oh, ya know, keeping busy. But there is one thing I'd like you guys to do for me.
Vince: What's that?
TJ: Get me outta here!
Vince: TJ please!
I'm going crazy in here you guys! I've counted the ceiling tiles 13 times already!
There's 1,678. You here me? ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED SEVENTY EIGHT!!
Spinelli: Don't worry TJ, we're with ya man.
Vince: Yeah, no matter what happens. We're all in this together.
Miss Finster: Hey, what're you kids doing here?
Vince: See ya!
TJ: You guys! Come back!
Vince: Poor TJ, he's really losing it in there.
Mikey: A kid without recess. It's too horrible for words!
Spinelli: Well I say we go in there and bust him out!
Gretchen: An admirable suggestion Spinelli, but based on my calculations
any attempt of rescue has a 70% likelihood of failure.
Mikey: Hey, I got an idea. Let's go ask the Guru Kid.
Oh great Guru Kid, our friend hath been thrown into detention
and we know not what to do!
Guru Kid: Consider the bumble bee, alone he is worth nothing.
But with his fellow bees, he becomes a swarm, and enjoys
bountiful quantities of honey.
Spinelli: What's that supposed to mean?
Mikey: Don't you see?! We're the bee! We can't save TJ alone, but if we had help . . .
Gretchen: Actually, he may have something there.
If we were able to get all the other kids of the playground to help us,
out likelihood of success increases 10-15%!
Spinelli: Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!
Mikey: Thanks Guru Kid!
kid: Oh great Guru Kid, how can I get an A on my spelling test?
Guru Kid: Consider the bumblebee, alone he is worth . . .
Dave: So let me get this straight, you want me and Sam to dig under the lunchroom,
break through the floor, and bust TJ out, just so he can have recess?
Vince: Umm, yeah, that's about the size of it.
Diggers: Neat!
Vince: See, I told you these guys are good.
Sam: Hey Dave, you're digging the wrong way.
Dave: What are you crazy? That's how you get to the principal's office!
Sam: Hey who are you calling crazy, stupid!
Dave: Stupid!? I'll show you stupid!
(Sounds of fighting and shovels clanging)
Vince: They're not going to help us are they.
Spinelli: Not in a million years.
Crowd: SWING SWING SWING SWING!
Mikey: I'm telling you, the swinger's always up for a new adventure
she loves this kind of stuff!
Gretchen: What's she doing now?
Mikey: Trying to go over the top of the swing set.
To boldly go where no kid has gone before.
Vince: Great, but will she help us?
Mikey: Sure
(Swinger Girl screams and we hear a crash off-screen)
Mikey: As soon as she gets back from the nurse.
Vince: I can't believe we're gonna talk to kindergartners.
It's humiliating!
Spinelli: No one else'll help us.
Gretchen: I've been studying these primitive grades for some time now
and I think I can communicate with them. Follow me.
(Kindergartners are shouting and cheering)
Gretchen: Helloo Kin-dee-gart-ners. We have come from the land of the big kids.
Across the wide playground, to ask your help.
I'm gonna try the aluminum foil.
Look!
Shiny!
Metal!
Do you like the shiny metal?
If you help us, we'll give you the shiny metal!
Whaddaya say kindergartners?
kindergartner: Let's eat'em.
Mikey: Run!!
(the sound of Jungle Drums and shouting is heard)
Mikey: I don't wanna see him Vince, I'm scared!
Vince: Bob's king of the playground, if he helps the other kids'll follow!
Spinelli: He'd better help or he's gonna meet my good friend Madame fist!
Vince: Listen Spinelli, dealing with a kid of Bob's stature takes
finesse, not brawn. So let me do the talking, OK?
Vince: Oh great King Bob! Overseer of the playground,
vizier of the jungle gym, we come to ask your royal favor.
You see my liege, our best friend TJ was caught by
the Finster, and we gotta bust him out!
King Bob: Hey! Get that first grader off of my sand!
First Grader: Hey, leave me alone! No, no!
Vince: What I'm trying to say here your highness, is that we can't do it alone!
Mikey: Yeah, we really really need your help.
King Bob: You hear that? The fourth graders need my help.
(King and attendants laugh)
Of course you need my help! Everyone needs my help.
I'm the king!
Mikey: Great, so you'll help us?
King Bob: I didn't say that.
You see, being king of the playground is a heavy responsibility.
It is I who must make sure the first graders don't get too uppity.
It is I who must make sure us 6th graders are treated
with respect. I can't be helping every single kid with
every single problem they bring to me! My royal mind is just too busy!
You understand? TOO BUSY!
Vince: But your majesty!
King Bob: ENOUGH!
I've got better things to do than worry about some dumb kid.
Spinelli: Some dumb kid? Who does he think he is calling TJ some dumb kid?
Vince: Now Spinelli you promised . . .
Spinelli: You sit there on your 6th grade butt, ruling over the
playground like some sorta big shot! Well, let me tell you something
Mr. Playground King. You are nothing but some dumb kid!
Vince: Spinelli! She didn't mean that your highness.
Gretchen: I'm afraid I have to concur with my violent friend.
Vince: Gretchen!
Gretchen: Well I mean, technically she is correct. Bob is dumb and he is a kid.
Mikey: Yeah! And if you think about it, we're all just some dumb kid
to somebody in this crazy mixed up universe.
Cornchip GIrl: My big brother thinks I'm some dumb kid.
kid: My mom called me some dumb kid just this morning!
Mikey: I'll bet even you have been called some dumb kid at
some time or another, right Mr. King Bob Sir?
Spinell: So next time you go around calling a guy some dumb kid
just remember this: you're one too! And let's face it Bob,
if us dumb kids don't stand up for each other, who will?
King Bob: The midget girl is right.
KIDS OF THE PLAYGROUND, THE DUMB KID SHOULD BE FREE!
(All Shout)
(Recess Theme Song Plays)
One, Two, Six, Ten! One, Two, Six, Ten!
Spinelli: It's jammed!
Gretchen: Stand back, I've got just the stuff.
Tomato surprise.
TJ: I'm free I'm free I'm free!
Vince: TJ! What're you doing out there?
TJ: What are you guys doing in there?
Miss Finster: That's my question as well.
But since you seem so eager to return to the classroom you'll be happy to learn
that recess will be over just about . . . now.
(Bell rings)
(Miss Finster is heard laughing maniacally in the back ground) TJ: No . . .NO . . . NOOOOO!!!
Vince: Well TJ, we did our best.
Spinelli: Yeah, sorry we didn't get to you in time.
TJ: Hey come on, you guys did something most kids wouldn't even try.
You're the best friends a guy could ever have.
Vince: Thanks Teej.
Gretchen: Actually, it was a relatively entertaining recess.
Spinelli: Yeah!
Vince: We had upside-down girl, the swinger, the diggers . . . hey . . .
What ever happened to the diggers anyway?
[BeiJing, China]
Sam: OK TJ, we're here!
Dave: Hey wait a minute! This isn't our school.
Sam: Uhh, Dave . . .
Dave: Yeah?
Sam: Do those kids look like kindergartners to you?
[Let's eat'em]
(Jungle drums begin to play)
(Sam and Dave yell)