0:00:00.792,0:00:03.018
In our culture we tend to see sex

0:00:03.042,0:00:07.393
as something that's more important[br]to men than it is to women.

0:00:07.417,0:00:09.018
But that's not true.

0:00:09.042,0:00:13.208
What is true is that women often feel[br]more shame in talking about it.

0:00:14.000,0:00:18.625
Over half of women quietly suffer[br]from some kind of sexual dysfunction.

0:00:19.500,0:00:22.417
We've been hearing[br]more about the orgasm gap.

0:00:23.375,0:00:26.476
It's kind of like the wage gap[br]but stickier ...

0:00:26.500,0:00:28.667
(Laughter)

0:00:30.083,0:00:32.643
Straight women tend to reach climax

0:00:32.667,0:00:36.167
less than 60 percent[br]of the time they have sex.

0:00:36.833,0:00:40.917
Men reach climax 90 percent[br]of the time they have sex.

0:00:41.833,0:00:45.184
To address these issues[br]women have been sold flawed medication,

0:00:45.208,0:00:47.809
testosterone creams ...

0:00:47.833,0:00:51.208
even untested genital injections.

0:00:52.625,0:00:57.042
The thing is, female sexuality[br]can't be fixed with a pill.

0:00:57.958,0:01:00.309
That's because it's not broken:

0:01:00.333,0:01:02.042
it's misunderstood.

0:01:02.667,0:01:07.143
Our culture has had a skewed[br]and medically incorrect picture

0:01:07.167,0:01:09.143
of female sexuality

0:01:09.167,0:01:11.684
going back centuries.

0:01:11.708,0:01:16.434
If over half of women[br]have some kind of sexual problem,

0:01:16.458,0:01:20.292
maybe our idea of sexuality[br]doesn't work for women.

0:01:21.083,0:01:25.083
We need a clearer understanding[br]of how women actually work.

0:01:26.917,0:01:28.184
I'm a journalist,

0:01:28.208,0:01:29.643
and I recently wrote a book

0:01:29.667,0:01:34.000
about how our understanding[br]of female sexuality is evolving.

0:01:34.750,0:01:40.250
So sexuality itself was defined[br]back when men dominated science.

0:01:41.208,0:01:43.434
Male scientists[br]tended to see the female body

0:01:43.458,0:01:45.601
through their own skewed lens.

0:01:45.625,0:01:49.809
They could've just asked women[br]about their experience.

0:01:49.833,0:01:55.393
Instead they probed the female body[br]like it was a foreign landscape.

0:01:55.417,0:02:01.226
Even today we debate the existence[br]of female ejaculation and the G-spot

0:02:01.250,0:02:04.292
like we're talking about aliens or UFOs.

0:02:05.167,0:02:07.559
"Are they really out there?"

0:02:07.583,0:02:10.018
(Laughter)

0:02:10.042,0:02:13.684
All this goes double for LGBTQI[br]women's sexuality,

0:02:13.708,0:02:16.917
which has been hated[br]and erased in specific ways.

0:02:18.333,0:02:22.809
Ignorance about the female body[br]goes back centuries.

0:02:22.833,0:02:25.518
It goes back to the beginning[br]of modern medicine.

0:02:25.542,0:02:28.434
Cast your mind back to the 16th century,

0:02:28.458,0:02:32.768
a time of scientific revolution in Europe.

0:02:32.792,0:02:35.917
Men of ideas were challenging old dogmas.

0:02:36.750,0:02:40.726
They were building telescopes[br]to gaze up at the stars.

0:02:40.750,0:02:43.143
We were making progress ...

0:02:43.167,0:02:44.684
sometimes.

0:02:44.708,0:02:47.268
You see, the fathers of anatomy --

0:02:47.292,0:02:51.518
and I say "fathers" because,[br]let's face it, they were all dudes --

0:02:51.542,0:02:54.018
were poking about between women's legs

0:02:54.042,0:02:56.917
and trying to classify what they saw.

0:02:57.833,0:03:01.708
They weren't quite sure[br]what to do with the clitoris.

0:03:02.500,0:03:05.792
It didn't appear to have[br]anything to do with making babies.

0:03:07.000,0:03:09.601
The leading anatomist at the time declared

0:03:09.625,0:03:13.434
that it was probably[br]some kind of abnormal growth --

0:03:13.458,0:03:14.476
(Laughter)

0:03:14.500,0:03:18.708
and that any woman who had one[br]was probably a hermaphrodite.

0:03:19.875,0:03:25.018
It got so bad that parents would sometimes[br]have their daughter's clitoris cut off

0:03:25.042,0:03:27.309
if it was deemed too large.

0:03:27.333,0:03:28.601
That's right.

0:03:28.625,0:03:32.643
Something we think of today[br]as female genital mutilation

0:03:32.667,0:03:36.833
was practiced in the West[br]as late as the 20th century.

0:03:37.958,0:03:39.226
You have to wonder:

0:03:39.250,0:03:42.434
if they were that confused[br]about women's bodies,

0:03:42.458,0:03:44.958
why didn't they just ask women[br]for a little help?

0:03:46.667,0:03:49.750
But you must be thinking,[br]"All that was history."

0:03:50.375,0:03:52.684
It's a different world now.

0:03:52.708,0:03:53.976
Women have everything.

0:03:54.000,0:03:56.143
They have the birth control pill,

0:03:56.167,0:04:00.434
they have sexting[br]and Tinder and vajazzling.

0:04:00.458,0:04:02.292
(Laughter)

0:04:03.542,0:04:06.125
Things must be better now.

0:04:06.875,0:04:10.750
But medical ignorance[br]of the female body continues.

0:04:13.833,0:04:15.875
How many of you recognize this?

0:04:16.875,0:04:20.017
It's the full structure of the clitoris.

0:04:20.041,0:04:23.476
We think of the clitoris[br]as this little pea-sized nub,

0:04:23.500,0:04:26.559
but actually it extends[br]deep into the body.

0:04:26.583,0:04:28.893
Most of it lies under the skin.

0:04:28.917,0:04:32.875
It contains almost as much[br]erectile tissue as the penis.

0:04:34.375,0:04:35.667
It's beautiful, isn't it?

0:04:36.333,0:04:37.934
It looks a little like a swan.

0:04:37.958,0:04:39.893
(Laughter)

0:04:39.917,0:04:43.309
This sculpture is by an artist[br]named Sophia Wallace

0:04:43.333,0:04:46.434
as part of her "Cliteracy" project.

0:04:46.458,0:04:47.768
(Laughter)

0:04:47.792,0:04:49.893
She believes we need more "cliteracy,"

0:04:49.917,0:04:52.309
and it's true, considering[br]that this structure

0:04:52.333,0:04:57.708
was only fully 3-D mapped[br]by researchers in 2009.

0:04:59.000,0:05:03.268
That was after we finished mapping[br]the entire human genome.

0:05:03.292,0:05:06.292
(Laughter)

0:05:08.000,0:05:11.643
This ignorance has real-life consequences.

0:05:11.667,0:05:14.101
In a medical journal in 2005,

0:05:14.125,0:05:16.726
Dr. Helen O'Connell, a urologist,

0:05:16.750,0:05:21.601
warned her colleagues that this structure[br]was still nowhere to be found

0:05:21.625,0:05:23.851
in basic medical journals --

0:05:23.875,0:05:25.750
textbooks like "Gray's Anatomy."

0:05:27.042,0:05:30.792
This could have serious[br]consequences for surgery.

0:05:31.667,0:05:33.476
Take this in.

0:05:33.500,0:05:34.893
Gentlemen:

0:05:34.917,0:05:38.684
imagine if you were at risk[br]of losing your penis

0:05:38.708,0:05:42.559
because doctors weren't[br]totally sure where it was

0:05:42.583,0:05:44.375
or what it looked like.

0:05:45.958,0:05:47.393
Unsurprisingly,

0:05:47.417,0:05:51.476
many women aren't too clear[br]on their own genital anatomy either.

0:05:51.500,0:05:52.893
You can't really blame them.

0:05:52.917,0:05:57.417
The clitoris is often missing[br]from many sex-ed diagrams, too.

0:05:58.667,0:06:04.059
Women can sense that their culture[br]views their bodies with confusion at best,

0:06:04.083,0:06:06.625
outright disdain and disgust at worst.

0:06:07.458,0:06:11.917
Many women still view their own genitals[br]as dirty or inadequate.

0:06:12.875,0:06:15.559
They're increasingly[br]comparing their vulvas

0:06:15.583,0:06:19.583
with the neat and tiny ones[br]they see in pornography.

0:06:20.750,0:06:25.018
It's one reason why labiaplasty[br]is becoming a skyrocketing business

0:06:25.042,0:06:27.625
among women and teen girls.

0:06:29.750,0:06:34.393
Some people feel[br]that all this is a trivial issue.

0:06:34.417,0:06:36.934
I was writing my book[br]when I was at a dinner party

0:06:36.958,0:06:41.208
and someone said, "Isn't sexuality[br]a first-world problem?

0:06:42.542,0:06:46.542
Aren't women dealing with more[br]important issues all over the world?"

0:06:47.500,0:06:49.226
Of course they are.

0:06:49.250,0:06:54.476
But I think the impulse to trivialize sex[br]is part of our problem.

0:06:54.500,0:06:58.309
We live in a culture[br]that seems obsessed with sex.

0:06:58.333,0:07:00.750
We use it to sell everything.

0:07:01.417,0:07:02.976
We tell women that looking sexy

0:07:03.000,0:07:05.542
is one of the most important[br]things you can do.

0:07:06.708,0:07:09.809
But what we really do is we belittle sex.

0:07:09.833,0:07:14.309
We reduce it to a sad shadow[br]of what it truly is.

0:07:14.333,0:07:17.000
Sex is more than just an act.

0:07:17.958,0:07:19.726
I spoke with Dr. Lori Brotto,

0:07:19.750,0:07:23.226
a psychologist who treats[br]sexual issues in women,

0:07:23.250,0:07:25.042
including survivors of trauma.

0:07:25.833,0:07:31.042
She says the hundreds of women she sees[br]all tend to repeat the same thing.

0:07:32.000,0:07:34.208
They say, "I don't feel whole."

0:07:35.292,0:07:39.417
They feel they've lost a connection[br]with their partners and themselves.

0:07:40.417,0:07:43.226
So what is sex?

0:07:43.250,0:07:46.184
We've traditionally defined the act of sex

0:07:46.208,0:07:50.434
as a linear, goal-oriented process.

0:07:50.458,0:07:53.143
It's something that starts with lust,

0:07:53.167,0:07:56.101
continues to heavy petting

0:07:56.125,0:07:58.500
and finishes with a happy ending.

0:07:59.542,0:08:02.583
Except many women[br]don't experience it this way.

0:08:06.042,0:08:10.042
It's less linear for them[br]and more circular.

0:08:10.875,0:08:14.268
This is a new model[br]of women's arousal and desire

0:08:14.292,0:08:17.434
developed by Dr. Rosemary Basson.

0:08:17.458,0:08:18.726
It says many things,

0:08:18.750,0:08:23.559
including that women can begin[br]an encounter for many different reasons

0:08:23.583,0:08:25.184
that aren't desire,

0:08:25.208,0:08:27.083
like curiosity.

0:08:27.583,0:08:32.933
They can finish with a climax[br]or multiple climaxes,

0:08:32.957,0:08:36.582
or satisfaction without a climax at all.

0:08:37.500,0:08:39.000
All options are normal.

0:08:40.957,0:08:46.976
Some people are starting to champion[br]a richer definition of sexuality.

0:08:47.000,0:08:51.268
Whether you identify as male,[br]female or neither gender,

0:08:51.292,0:08:55.351
sex is about our relationship[br]to the senses.

0:08:55.375,0:08:57.125
It's about slowing down,

0:08:57.917,0:08:59.684
listening to the body,

0:08:59.708,0:09:01.875
coming into the present moment.

0:09:02.667,0:09:05.000
It's about our whole health[br]and well-being.

0:09:06.667,0:09:07.934
In other words,

0:09:07.958,0:09:12.934
sex at its true breadth isn't profane,

0:09:12.958,0:09:14.208
it's sacred.

0:09:16.500,0:09:21.434
That's one reason why women[br]are redefining their sexuality today.

0:09:21.458,0:09:24.458
They're asking: What is sex for me?

0:09:25.792,0:09:30.809
So they're experimenting with practices[br]that are less about the happy ending --

0:09:30.833,0:09:32.875
more about feeling whole.

0:09:33.708,0:09:36.893
So they're trying out[br]spiritual sex classes,

0:09:36.917,0:09:39.101
masturbation workshops --

0:09:39.125,0:09:41.643
even shooting their own porn

0:09:41.667,0:09:44.875
that celebrates the diversity[br]of real bodies.

0:09:46.167,0:09:50.559
For anyone who still feels[br]this is a trivial issue, consider this:

0:09:50.583,0:09:54.143
understanding your body[br]is crucial to the huge issue

0:09:54.167,0:09:56.833
of sex education and consent.

0:09:58.000,0:10:02.976
By deeply, intimately knowing[br]what kind of touch feels right,

0:10:03.000,0:10:06.768
what pressure, what speed, what context,

0:10:06.792,0:10:10.101
you can better know[br]what kind of touch feels wrong

0:10:10.125,0:10:12.167
and have the confidence to say so.

0:10:13.292,0:10:17.476
This isn't ultimately about women[br]having more or better sex.

0:10:17.500,0:10:21.917
It's not about making sure[br]women have as many orgasms as men.

0:10:22.875,0:10:28.726
It's about accepting yourself[br]and your own unique experience.

0:10:28.750,0:10:31.958
It's about you being[br]the expert on your body.

0:10:32.708,0:10:38.518
It's about defining pleasure[br]and satisfaction on your terms.

0:10:38.542,0:10:42.351
And if that means you're happiest[br]having no sex at all,

0:10:42.375,0:10:43.667
that's perfect, too.

0:10:45.125,0:10:49.309
If we define sex as part[br]of our whole health and well-being,

0:10:49.333,0:10:53.434
then empowering women[br]and girls to fully own it

0:10:53.458,0:10:55.917
is a crucial next step toward equality.

0:10:56.958,0:11:01.018
And I think it would be[br]a better world not just for women

0:11:01.042,0:11:02.684
but for everyone.

0:11:02.708,0:11:03.976
Thank you.

0:11:04.000,0:11:06.833
(Applause)