0:00:00.959,0:00:03.200
In our culture we tend to see sex

0:00:03.200,0:00:06.879
as something that's more important[br]to men than it is to women.

0:00:07.491,0:00:08.729
But that's not true.

0:00:09.220,0:00:13.214
What is true is that women often feel[br]more shame in talking about it.

0:00:14.099,0:00:18.890
Over half of women quietly suffer[br]from some kind of sexual dysfunction.

0:00:19.644,0:00:22.608
We've been hearing[br]more about the orgasm gap.

0:00:23.510,0:00:26.731
It's kind of like the wage gap[br]but stickier ...

0:00:26.731,0:00:28.673
(Laughter)

0:00:30.296,0:00:32.802
Straight women tend to reach climax

0:00:32.802,0:00:36.256
less than 60 percent[br]of the time they have sex.

0:00:36.881,0:00:40.900
Men reach climax 90 percent[br]of the time they have sex.

0:00:41.971,0:00:45.228
To address these issues[br]women have been sold flawed medicaiton,

0:00:45.228,0:00:47.822
testosterone creams ...

0:00:47.822,0:00:51.261
even untested genital injections.

0:00:52.671,0:00:57.028
The things is, female sexuality[br]can't be fixed with a pill.

0:00:58.086,0:01:00.403
That's because it's not broken,

0:01:00.403,0:01:01.732
it's misunderstood.

0:01:02.777,0:01:07.392
Our culture has had a skewed[br]and medically incorrect picture

0:01:07.392,0:01:09.296
of female sexuality

0:01:09.296,0:01:11.474
going back centuries.

0:01:11.839,0:01:16.461
If over half of women have[br]some kind of sexual problem,

0:01:16.461,0:01:20.446
maybe our idea of sexuality[br]doesn't work for women.

0:01:21.137,0:01:25.089
We need a clearler understanding[br]of how women actually work.

0:01:27.043,0:01:28.169
I'm a journalist,

0:01:28.169,0:01:29.804
and I recently wrote a book

0:01:29.804,0:01:34.179
about how our understanding[br]of female sexuality is evolving.

0:01:34.854,0:01:40.216
So sexuality itself was defined[br]back when men dominated science.

0:01:41.258,0:01:43.461
Male scientists tended[br]to see the female body

0:01:43.461,0:01:45.647
through their own skewed lens.

0:01:45.769,0:01:49.358
They could've just asked women[br]about their experience.

0:01:49.901,0:01:54.765
Instead they probed the female body[br]like it was a foreign landscape.

0:01:55.514,0:02:01.291
Even today we debate the existence[br]of female ejaculation and the G-spot

0:02:01.291,0:02:04.308
like we're talking about aliens or UFOs.

0:02:05.284,0:02:07.585
"Are they really out there?"

0:02:07.727,0:02:10.019
(Laughter)

0:02:10.214,0:02:13.771
All this goes double for LGBTQI[br]women's sexuality,

0:02:13.771,0:02:17.085
which has been hated[br]and erased in specific ways.

0:02:18.471,0:02:22.325
Ignorance about the female body[br]goes back centuries.

0:02:22.867,0:02:25.177
It goes back to the beginning[br]of modern medicine.

0:02:25.593,0:02:28.616
Cast your mind back to the 16th century;

0:02:28.616,0:02:32.350
a time of scientific revolution in Europe.

0:02:32.948,0:02:35.934
Men of ideas were challenging old dogmas.

0:02:36.836,0:02:40.319
They were building telescopes[br]to gaze up at the stars.

0:02:40.793,0:02:43.315
We were making progress ...

0:02:43.315,0:02:44.397
sometimes.

0:02:44.787,0:02:47.293
You see, the fathers of anatomy --

0:02:47.293,0:02:51.650
and I say fathers because,[br]let's face it, they were all dudes --

0:02:51.650,0:02:54.123
were poking about between women's legs

0:02:54.123,0:02:57.039
and trying to classify what they saw.

0:02:57.972,0:03:01.401
They weren't quite sure[br]what to do with a clitoris.

0:03:02.499,0:03:06.103
It didn't appear to have[br]anything to do with making babies.

0:03:07.019,0:03:09.726
The leading anatomist[br]at the time declared

0:03:09.726,0:03:13.750
that it was probably[br]some kind of abnormal growth --

0:03:13.750,0:03:14.746
(Laughter)

0:03:14.746,0:03:19.069
and that any woman who had one[br]was probably a hermaphrodite.

0:03:19.930,0:03:25.101
It got so bad that parents would sometimes[br]have their daughter's clitoris cut off

0:03:25.101,0:03:27.087
if it was deemed too large.

0:03:27.370,0:03:28.404
That's right.

0:03:28.636,0:03:32.688
Something we think of today[br]as female genital mutilation

0:03:32.688,0:03:36.853
was practiced in the West[br]as late as the 20th century.

0:03:37.941,0:03:39.145
You have to wonder:

0:03:39.145,0:03:42.481
if they were that confused[br]about women's bodies,

0:03:42.481,0:03:45.458
why didn't they just ask women[br]for a little help?

0:03:46.735,0:03:50.055
But you must be thinking [br]all that was history.

0:03:50.458,0:03:52.315
It's a different world now.

0:03:52.665,0:03:54.045
Women have everything.

0:03:54.045,0:03:56.176
They have the birth control pill,

0:03:56.176,0:04:00.602
they have sexting[br]and Tinder and vajazzling.

0:04:00.602,0:04:02.306
(Laughter)

0:04:03.610,0:04:06.404
Things must be better now.

0:04:06.994,0:04:10.813
But medical ignorance[br]of the female body continues.

0:04:13.419,0:04:16.043
How many of you recognize this?

0:04:16.947,0:04:19.728
It's the full structure of the clitoris.

0:04:20.124,0:04:23.668
We think of the clitoris[br]as this little pea-sized nub,

0:04:23.668,0:04:26.478
but actually it extends[br]deep into the body.

0:04:26.613,0:04:28.434
Most of it lies under the skin.

0:04:29.017,0:04:32.886
It contains almost as much[br]erectile tissue as the penis.

0:04:34.503,0:04:35.725
It's beautiful, isn't it?

0:04:36.358,0:04:38.098
It looks a little like a swan.

0:04:38.351,0:04:39.468
(Laugher)

0:04:40.024,0:04:43.417
This sculpture is by an artist[br]named Sophia Wallace

0:04:43.417,0:04:46.453
as part of her "Cliteracy" project.

0:04:46.648,0:04:47.645
(Laughter)

0:04:47.886,0:04:49.918
She believes we need more "cliteracy,"

0:04:49.918,0:04:52.204
and it's true considering[br]that this structure

0:04:52.204,0:04:57.580
was only fully 3-D mapped[br]by researchers in 2009.

0:04:59.097,0:05:03.448
That was after we finished mapping[br]the entire human genome.

0:05:03.448,0:05:06.280
(Laughter)

0:05:08.156,0:05:11.566
This ignorance has real-life consequences.

0:05:11.722,0:05:14.099
In a medical journal in 2005,

0:05:14.099,0:05:15.489
Dr. Helen O'Connell,

0:05:15.489,0:05:16.815
a urologist,

0:05:16.815,0:05:21.727
warned her colleagues that this structure[br]was still nowhere to be found

0:05:21.727,0:05:23.992
in basic medical journals --

0:05:23.992,0:05:25.970
textbooks like "Gray's Anatomy."

0:05:27.033,0:05:30.891
This could have serious[br]consequences for surgery.

0:05:31.813,0:05:32.942
Take this in.

0:05:33.529,0:05:34.954
Gentlemen:

0:05:34.954,0:05:38.722
imagine if you were at risk[br]of losing your penis

0:05:38.722,0:05:42.773
because doctors weren't[br]totally sure where it was

0:05:42.773,0:05:44.393
or what it looked like.

0:05:46.023,0:05:47.500
Unsurprisingly,

0:05:47.500,0:05:51.163
many women aren't too clear[br]on their own genital anatomy either.

0:05:51.571,0:05:52.902
You can't really blame them.

0:05:52.902,0:05:57.514
The clitoris is often missing[br]from many sex-ed diagrams, too.

0:05:58.668,0:06:04.178
Women can sense that their culture[br]views their bodies with confusion at best,

0:06:04.178,0:06:06.639
outright disdain and disgust at worst.

0:06:07.492,0:06:11.925
Many women still view their own genitals[br]as dirty or inadequate.

0:06:12.866,0:06:15.768
They're increasingly[br]comparing their vulvas

0:06:15.768,0:06:19.772
with the neat and tiny ones[br]they see in pornography.

0:06:20.923,0:06:25.139
It's one reason why labiaplasty[br]is becoming a skyrocketing business

0:06:25.139,0:06:27.645
among women and teen girls.

0:06:29.809,0:06:33.930
Some people feel[br]that all this is a trivial issue.

0:06:34.480,0:06:37.009
I was writing my book[br]when I was at a dinner party

0:06:37.009,0:06:41.211
and someone said, "Isn't sexuality[br]a first-world problem?

0:06:42.595,0:06:46.702
Aren't women dealing with more[br]important issues all over the world?"

0:06:47.508,0:06:49.336
Of course they are,

0:06:49.336,0:06:53.759
but I think the impulse to trivialize sex[br]is part of our problem.

0:06:54.477,0:06:57.947
We live in a culture that seems[br]obsessed with sex.

0:06:58.363,0:07:00.905
We use it to sell everything.

0:07:01.487,0:07:03.106
We tell women that looking sexy

0:07:03.106,0:07:05.693
is one of the most important[br]things you can do.

0:07:06.702,0:07:09.432
But what we really do is we belittle sex.

0:07:09.872,0:07:13.800
We reduce it to a sad shadow[br]of what it truly is.

0:07:14.425,0:07:16.986
Sex is more than just an act.

0:07:17.962,0:07:19.732
I spoke with Dr. Lori Brotto,

0:07:19.732,0:07:23.351
a psychologist who treats[br]sexual issues in women,

0:07:23.351,0:07:25.124
including survivors of trauma.

0:07:25.906,0:07:31.039
She says the hundreds of women she sees[br]all tend to repeat the same thing.

0:07:31.980,0:07:34.453
They say, "I don't feel whole."

0:07:35.429,0:07:39.702
They feel they've lost a connection[br]with their partners and themselves.

0:07:40.428,0:07:42.738
So what is sex?

0:07:43.312,0:07:46.400
We've traditionally defined the act of sex

0:07:46.400,0:07:50.180
as a linear, goal-oriented process.

0:07:50.540,0:07:53.310
It's something that starts with lust,

0:07:53.310,0:07:56.187
continues to heavy petting

0:07:56.187,0:07:58.507
and finishes with a happy ending.

0:07:59.667,0:08:02.566
Except many women[br]don't experience it this way.

0:08:06.210,0:08:10.297
It's less linear for them[br]and more circular.

0:08:10.971,0:08:14.308
This is a new model[br]of women's arousal and desire

0:08:14.308,0:08:16.736
developed by Dr. Rosemany Basson.

0:08:17.477,0:08:18.639
It says many things,

0:08:18.639,0:08:23.655
including that women can begin[br]an encounter for many different reasons

0:08:23.655,0:08:25.308
that aren't desire,

0:08:25.308,0:08:27.325
like curiosity.

0:08:27.648,0:08:33.037
They can finish with a climax[br]or multiple climaxes,

0:08:33.037,0:08:36.595
or satisfaction without a climax at all.

0:08:37.631,0:08:39.181
All options are normal.

0:08:41.156,0:08:46.468
Some people are starting to champion[br]a richer definition of sexuality.

0:08:46.996,0:08:51.312
Whether you identify as male,[br]female or neither gender,

0:08:51.312,0:08:54.765
sex is about a relationship to the senses.

0:08:55.475,0:08:58.018
It's about slowing down,

0:08:58.018,0:08:59.882
listening to the body,

0:08:59.882,0:09:02.034
coming into the present moment.

0:09:02.726,0:09:05.197
It's about our whole health[br]and well-being.

0:09:06.809,0:09:07.806
In other words,

0:09:07.806,0:09:13.094
sex at its true breadth isn't profane,

0:09:13.094,0:09:14.163
it's sacred.

0:09:16.623,0:09:21.223
That's one reason why women[br]are redefining their sexuality today.

0:09:21.512,0:09:22.514
They're asking:

0:09:22.514,0:09:24.608
what is sex for me?

0:09:25.951,0:09:30.976
So they're experimenting with practices[br]that are less about the happy ending --

0:09:30.976,0:09:33.105
more about feeling whole.

0:09:33.756,0:09:36.965
So they're trying out[br]spiritual sex classes,

0:09:36.965,0:09:39.115
masturbation workshops --

0:09:39.115,0:09:41.684
even shooting their own porn

0:09:41.684,0:09:44.955
that celebrates the diversity[br]of real bodies.

0:09:46.161,0:09:49.160
For anyone who still feels[br]this is a trivial issue,

0:09:49.160,0:09:50.659
consider this:

0:09:50.659,0:09:54.318
understanding your body[br]is crucial to the huge issue

0:09:54.318,0:09:56.998
of sex education and consent.

0:09:58.009,0:10:03.123
By deeply, intimately knowing[br]what kind of touch feels right,

0:10:03.123,0:10:06.910
what pressure, what speed, what context,

0:10:06.910,0:10:10.271
you can better know[br]what kind of touch feels wrong

0:10:10.271,0:10:12.557
and have the confidence to say so.

0:10:13.410,0:10:16.953
This isn't ultimately about women[br]having more or better sex.

0:10:17.572,0:10:21.928
It's not about making sure women[br]have as many orgasms as men.

0:10:22.906,0:10:28.389
It's about accepting yourself[br]and your own unique experience.

0:10:28.888,0:10:32.073
It's about you being [br]the expert on your body.

0:10:32.790,0:10:38.316
It's about defining pleasure[br]and satisfaction on your terms.

0:10:38.738,0:10:42.458
And if that means you're happiest[br]having no sex at all,

0:10:42.458,0:10:43.955
that's perfect, too.

0:10:45.273,0:10:49.531
If we define sex as part of our whole[br]health and well-being,

0:10:49.531,0:10:53.567
then empowering women[br]and girls to fully own it

0:10:53.567,0:10:56.045
is a crucial next step toward equality.

0:10:56.967,0:11:01.039
And I think it would be[br]a better world not just for women

0:11:01.039,0:11:02.229
but for everyone.

0:11:02.737,0:11:03.773
Thank you.

0:11:03.773,0:11:05.786
(Applause)