WEBVTT 00:00:00.451 --> 00:00:04.316 ♪ (Eerie music) ♪ 00:00:19.049 --> 00:00:22.021 (A voice) Are you still there? 00:00:22.021 --> 00:00:25.808 Dude, are you still there? 00:00:25.808 --> 00:00:27.868 Bro, are you still there? 00:00:27.868 --> 00:00:31.796 Yeah. Yeah, I’m still here. 00:00:31.796 --> 00:00:33.529 Did you hear what I said? 00:00:33.529 --> 00:00:36.320 Yeah. You have a story, you have to write about it. 00:00:36.320 --> 00:00:39.486 Yeah. 00:00:43.946 --> 00:00:47.296 Okay, so tell me about the story. 00:00:47.296 --> 00:00:55.588 Oh right. So it’s like at a hotel and there’s a guy named Tony. 00:00:55.588 --> 00:00:57.883 Do you know that one? 00:00:57.883 --> 00:01:00.313 Do I know a story about a guy named Tony? 00:01:00.313 --> 00:01:01.690 He works at the hotel. 00:01:01.690 --> 00:01:03.597 Yeah, but what does he do at the hotel? 00:01:03.597 --> 00:01:09.154 Is he a doorman, is he a manager? 00:01:09.154 --> 00:01:12.836 Can you tell me something else about the story? 00:01:12.836 --> 00:01:15.343 There’s a guy named Carl. 00:01:15.343 --> 00:01:21.579 Okay. What does Carl do? 00:01:29.152 --> 00:01:31.993 Dude, be honest. Did you read the story? 00:01:31.993 --> 00:01:34.025 Not yet. 00:01:34.025 --> 00:01:37.446 Well, how are you gonna write about it if you didn’t read it? 00:01:37.446 --> 00:01:40.323 I don’t know. I’ll just read it now. 00:01:40.323 --> 00:01:44.528 Dude, you should have read it before we started. 00:01:44.528 --> 00:01:49.041 Okay, do you want to just read it together? 00:01:49.041 --> 00:01:50.499 You can read it with me? 00:01:50.499 --> 00:01:55.775 Yeah, I get paid either way, dude. What’s the name of the story? 00:01:55.775 --> 00:02:01.393 Uh… “I’ll Be Waiting.” 00:02:03.898 --> 00:02:06.873 Oh, Chandler. Duh. 00:02:06.873 --> 00:02:07.769 Who? 00:02:07.769 --> 00:02:10.847 I’ve read the story before. The author is Raymond Chandler. 00:02:10.847 --> 00:02:13.123 No, his name’s Tony. 00:02:13.123 --> 00:02:14.747 That’s the main character. 00:02:14.747 --> 00:02:18.818 Right, like the author who wrote it. 00:02:18.818 --> 00:02:23.802 No, the guy who wrote the story is Raymond Chandler. 00:02:23.802 --> 00:02:25.280 Oh. 00:02:27.602 --> 00:02:30.360 Wait, didn’t he write the story about the baby? 00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:35.170 I don’t know. What happened in the story about the baby? 00:02:35.170 --> 00:02:37.548 It got ripped in half. 00:02:37.548 --> 00:02:39.143 What? 00:02:39.143 --> 00:02:41.373 They rip the baby in half. 00:02:41.373 --> 00:02:43.691 Who ripped a baby in half? 00:02:43.691 --> 00:02:45.163 The parents. 00:02:45.163 --> 00:02:48.687 They were fighting and then they literally ripped the baby in half. 00:02:54.075 --> 00:02:56.089 Oh, that’s Raymond Carver. 00:02:56.089 --> 00:02:57.868 Yeah, that’s what I said. 00:02:57.868 --> 00:03:01.125 No, Raymond Chandler wrote the story about Tony. 00:03:01.125 --> 00:03:05.918 Raymond Carver wrote the one about the baby. 00:03:05.918 --> 00:03:07.444 Oh. 00:03:09.124 --> 00:03:14.561 Okay, let’s just take five minutes, read the first page. 00:03:14.561 --> 00:03:17.252 Try to figure out what Tony’s job is. 00:03:17.252 --> 00:03:19.957 Okay. 00:03:39.040 --> 00:03:40.560 (A phone beep) 00:03:50.784 --> 00:03:54.256 Hey, are you still there? 00:03:54.256 --> 00:03:57.364 Are you still there? 00:03:57.364 --> 00:03:59.557 Bro, are you still there? 00:03:59.557 --> 00:04:03.877 Yeah, yeah, I’m still here. 00:04:03.877 --> 00:04:06.044 I figured out what Tony does. 00:04:06.044 --> 00:04:07.802 Okay. What does he do? 00:04:07.802 --> 00:04:09.311 He’s a prostitute. 00:04:09.311 --> 00:04:12.602 What? No, he’s a detective. 00:04:12.602 --> 00:04:15.204 It says he’s the house dick. 00:04:15.204 --> 00:04:17.201 What? 00:04:17.201 --> 00:04:20.718 Right here. Tony says, “I wasn't kidding you, Miss Cressy. 00:04:20.718 --> 00:04:23.511 I think Mozart was the greatest man that ever lived.” 00:04:23.511 --> 00:04:28.270 And Miss Cressy says, “I thought you were the house dick,” and then it says, 00:04:28.270 --> 00:04:34.276 “She put her head back on a pillow.” 00:04:34.276 --> 00:04:37.538 She put her head back on a pillow because they just had sex. 00:04:37.538 --> 00:04:41.697 Tony’s a prostitute who has sex with people so he can stay at the hotel for free. 00:04:41.697 --> 00:04:43.850 He’s the house dick. 00:04:43.850 --> 00:04:47.677 She's surprised because he's talking about Mozart, because he’s a prostitute 00:04:47.677 --> 00:04:52.998 So why would he know who Mozart is? Prostitutes don’t listen to Mozart. 00:04:57.197 --> 00:05:01.857 He’s a hotel detective. 00:05:01.857 --> 00:05:03.441 What? 00:05:03.441 --> 00:05:06.213 He’s the in-house detective for the hotel. 00:05:06.213 --> 00:05:09.258 In the thirties, they used to call detectives “dicks.” 00:05:09.258 --> 00:05:11.129 Well, how was I supposed to know that? 00:05:11.129 --> 00:05:14.428 I don't know, context clues? 00:05:19.447 --> 00:05:22.801 Dude, are you even interested in this? 00:05:22.801 --> 00:05:24.314 Honestly? 00:05:24.314 --> 00:05:27.349 Honesty is the best policy. 00:05:27.349 --> 00:05:30.340 I just… do you really wanna know? 00:05:30.340 --> 00:05:33.967 Yes. I don’t enjoy watching you suffer. 00:05:33.967 --> 00:05:37.188 Do you really want to be here? 00:05:37.188 --> 00:05:41.465 No. My parents made me come. I’m sorry. 00:05:41.465 --> 00:05:45.699 Don’t apologize. It’s fine. 00:05:45.699 --> 00:05:49.567 But… where would you rather be right now? 00:05:49.567 --> 00:05:50.832 Honestly? 00:05:50.832 --> 00:05:53.592 You keep saying that. Do you usually lie to people? 00:05:53.592 --> 00:05:58.174 No. I dunno, I feel like people would laugh at me. 00:05:58.174 --> 00:06:00.722 I’m not gonna laugh at you. 00:06:00.722 --> 00:06:03.235 Where would you rather be? Right now. 00:06:04.695 --> 00:06:09.846 I wanna play “Find the Invisible Cow.” 00:06:09.846 --> 00:06:12.093 What is that? 00:06:12.093 --> 00:06:15.610 It’s a game you play online. 00:06:15.610 --> 00:06:19.575 There’s a blank screen with a cow hidden somewhere on it. 00:06:19.575 --> 00:06:22.362 And you have to look for the cow. 00:06:22.362 --> 00:06:24.901 And the game shouts “Cow” at you the whole time. 00:06:24.901 --> 00:06:32.045 And the closer you get to the cow, the louder the shouting gets. 00:06:32.045 --> 00:06:40.488 Cow, cow, cow. 00:06:40.488 --> 00:06:47.394 And when you find the cow, it moos. 00:06:47.394 --> 00:06:51.546 Do you play this online with other people? 00:06:51.546 --> 00:06:53.833 No. 00:06:53.833 --> 00:06:58.464 Good. Good, sometimes it’s good to be alone. 00:06:58.464 --> 00:07:01.071 Well, it sounds like you’d rather be doing that. 00:07:01.071 --> 00:07:07.870 So... go do what makes you happy. Go find your invisible cow. 00:07:07.870 --> 00:07:10.262 But I can’t. My parents - 00:07:10.262 --> 00:07:12.966 Yes you can. You have free will. 00:07:12.966 --> 00:07:15.019 You can do whatever you want. 00:07:15.019 --> 00:07:17.859 But I still have to write the paper. 00:07:17.859 --> 00:07:23.525 No, you don’t. I’m gonna do you a favor. 00:07:23.525 --> 00:07:26.052 I already know the story, I know what it’s about, 00:07:26.052 --> 00:07:29.278 and I know what your professor’s gonna wanna read. 00:07:29.278 --> 00:07:35.326 Why don’t I just do the paper for you? 00:07:35.326 --> 00:07:38.525 Really? You’d do that for me? 00:07:38.525 --> 00:07:42.038 Yeah. I would. 00:07:42.038 --> 00:07:43.620 For free? 00:07:43.620 --> 00:07:46.020 Fuck no. Twenty-five bucks a page, double-spaced. 00:07:46.020 --> 00:07:49.398 You can have it by Friday, guaranteed A. What do you say? 00:07:52.228 --> 00:07:55.970 Uh, are you still there? 00:08:01.642 --> 00:08:04.403 Annie, are you using the microwave? 00:08:04.403 --> 00:08:06.957 Yeah, I’m making Hot Pockets! 00:08:06.957 --> 00:08:09.688 Well it’s messing with the Wi-Fi. 00:08:09.688 --> 00:08:12.069 Well then pay the fucking Wi-Fi bill! 00:08:12.069 --> 00:08:14.935 I can’t, because you keep fucking up my deals! 00:08:14.935 --> 00:08:16.266 Fuck you! 00:08:16.266 --> 00:08:18.119 Yeah, fuck you too. (A phone ringtone) 00:08:18.119 --> 00:08:19.465 Hey, George. 00:08:19.465 --> 00:08:22.491 Hey, David. How’s your dad? Still kicking? 00:08:22.491 --> 00:08:24.964 Kicking and screaming. How’s yours? 00:08:24.964 --> 00:08:28.079 He’s… dead. You know this. 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:32.397 Yeah, I just wanted to make sure he didn’t come back as a zombie. 00:08:32.397 --> 00:08:34.262 If he does, I’ll let you know. 00:08:34.262 --> 00:08:36.839 You can be his first meal. 00:08:36.839 --> 00:08:38.519 Listen, David, what’s up? 00:08:38.519 --> 00:08:41.962 I saw you just got disconnected from your last student? 00:08:41.962 --> 00:08:45.205 Yeah, I’m sorry. My roommate is making Hot Pockets. 00:08:45.205 --> 00:08:47.884 That’s great. I love anything with cheese in it, 00:08:47.884 --> 00:08:50.564 but what does that have to do with anything? 00:08:50.564 --> 00:08:52.742 The microwave messes with the connection 00:08:52.742 --> 00:08:54.920 and the Wi-Fi’s like baby soft around here. 00:08:54.920 --> 00:08:56.820 “Baby soft”? 00:08:56.820 --> 00:08:58.792 It’s sensitive. It’s like a baby’s head. 00:08:58.792 --> 00:09:01.112 You push it too hard, it’s messed up for life. 00:09:01.112 --> 00:09:03.607 C’mon David, we talked about this. 00:09:03.607 --> 00:09:06.602 Oh God, your kids. I’m so sorry, George. 00:09:06.602 --> 00:09:08.859 I don’t have kids. 00:09:08.859 --> 00:09:11.545 You don’t? Oh my God, what happened? 00:09:11.545 --> 00:09:14.925 David, the only kids I have are the ones who come here for tutoring. 00:09:14.925 --> 00:09:18.793 And right now one of those kids is left unattended. 00:09:18.793 --> 00:09:21.839 What kind of father leaves their kid unattended? 00:09:21.839 --> 00:09:24.473 Are we talking about my dad or yours? 00:09:24.473 --> 00:09:28.428 It makes me a bad dad. You think I wanna be a bad dad? 00:09:28.428 --> 00:09:30.915 One of those dads who leaves their kids in the car 00:09:30.915 --> 00:09:33.723 while they pick up cigarettes from the Mini Mart? 00:09:33.723 --> 00:09:35.653 So we’re talking about my dad. 00:09:35.653 --> 00:09:40.864 David. I trusted you and you left that kid hanging. 00:09:40.864 --> 00:09:44.140 You left that kid hanging like Michael Jackson. 00:09:44.140 --> 00:09:47.481 You know what’s gonna happen to that kid if he doesn’t pass his exams? 00:09:47.481 --> 00:09:50.861 He’s… gonna… join the army? 00:09:50.861 --> 00:09:54.569 Worse. Didn’t you see today’s word? 00:09:55.579 --> 00:09:57.182 No. 00:09:57.182 --> 00:10:09.460 EDUCATION: Evil Dominates Uneducated Children And Teens, Indoctrinating Only Negativity. 00:10:09.460 --> 00:10:15.604 Did you just put “uneducated” inside the word “education”? 00:10:15.604 --> 00:10:20.701 Look, my point is: I can’t run an online business 00:10:20.701 --> 00:10:23.875 if my employees don‘t have a stable Internet connection. 00:10:23.875 --> 00:10:28.682 That’s like Mötley Crüe without Vince Neil. You know what I mean? 00:10:28.682 --> 00:10:31.325 I think so? 00:10:31.325 --> 00:10:33.162 So think about it from my end. 00:10:33.162 --> 00:10:35.253 Do I get Vince back and go double platinum? 00:10:35.253 --> 00:10:39.190 Or do I hang on to John Corabi and hope he finds his dick? 00:10:39.190 --> 00:10:44.085 I… I don’t know who John Corabi is. 00:10:44.085 --> 00:10:46.852 And what does that tell you? 00:10:46.852 --> 00:10:49.955 That I wasn’t born in the seventies? 00:10:49.955 --> 00:10:53.342 Find your dick, or you’re out of the band. 00:10:53.342 --> 00:10:55.874 Can you find your dick, David? 00:10:55.874 --> 00:11:00.505 I mean, I can look for it, but how do I know for sure which one's mine? 00:11:00.505 --> 00:11:03.809 Listen: treat your Wi-Fi like a dog and get it fixed, 00:11:03.809 --> 00:11:06.551 ‘cause I’m tired of seeing piss on the carpet. 00:11:06.551 --> 00:11:10.909 I’m confused. Am I finding a dick or cutting one off? 00:11:10.909 --> 00:11:15.431 Are we clear, David? 00:11:15.431 --> 00:11:16.611 Beeeeeeeep. 00:11:16.611 --> 00:11:18.789 What the hell was that? 00:11:18.789 --> 00:11:27.300 It’s a defibrillator. “Clear.” Beeeeeeeep. 00:11:27.300 --> 00:11:29.909 Because we’re clear. 00:11:29.909 --> 00:11:35.413 Just do what I ask you. 00:11:38.533 --> 00:11:49.538 Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. 00:11:54.558 --> 00:11:56.862 (Amy) Have you looked for other jobs? 00:11:56.862 --> 00:11:59.093 Yeah, but… they’re not looking for me. 00:11:59.093 --> 00:12:01.892 You’re a good writer. Why would they not be looking for you? 00:12:01.892 --> 00:12:05.891 Because they’re not looking for good writers. They’re looking for good resumes. 00:12:05.891 --> 00:12:08.227 You need a resume to do creative writing? 00:12:08.227 --> 00:12:10.194 Not to do it, but, to get a job doing it? 00:12:10.194 --> 00:12:12.410 Yeah. If you don’t have a degree from Columbia 00:12:12.410 --> 00:12:15.067 or an internship at The Onion you’re basically fucked. 00:12:15.067 --> 00:12:16.599 At least you have a degree. 00:12:16.599 --> 00:12:17.920 Yeah. From U.U. 00:12:17.920 --> 00:12:19.336 You mean Q.U.? 00:12:19.336 --> 00:12:21.197 No. U.U. Unknown University. 00:12:21.197 --> 00:12:22.978 That’s what everyone there calls it. 00:12:22.978 --> 00:12:24.338 It's not that bad. 00:12:24.338 --> 00:12:29.124 It’s not like University of Phoenix where nobody knows if it really exists or not. 00:12:29.124 --> 00:12:31.016 Nobody knows Q.U. exists at all. 00:12:31.016 --> 00:12:32.991 They see it on a resume and they’re like, 00:12:32.991 --> 00:12:36.847 “Oh, is that in England? Did you study abroad?” 00:12:38.055 --> 00:12:40.991 Thank God you didn’t go to acting school. 00:12:40.991 --> 00:12:43.649 I might as well have I should have just skipped college; 00:12:43.649 --> 00:12:46.018 I’d be doing just as well as I am now. 00:12:46.018 --> 00:12:48.112 That's easy for you to say. 00:12:48.112 --> 00:12:49.437 It’s easy ‘cause it’s true. 00:12:49.437 --> 00:12:51.606 Some people just shouldn’t be forced to go to college 00:12:51.606 --> 00:12:53.335 and take classes they don’t actually need. 00:12:53.335 --> 00:12:55.660 I had this student today reading fucking detective fiction. 00:12:55.660 --> 00:12:57.219 How is that gonna help him? 00:12:57.219 --> 00:12:59.678 Why is he wasting his time when he could be doing something else? 00:12:59.678 --> 00:13:01.649 Like what? 00:13:01.649 --> 00:13:04.422 I don’t know. Something that actually makes him happy? 00:13:04.422 --> 00:13:07.689 Uh-huh. How much did you charge him? 00:13:07.689 --> 00:13:10.591 Look, seventy-five dollars is reasonable for a three-page paper. 00:13:10.591 --> 00:13:13.564 It’s not reasonable when you’re already being paid to tutor him. 00:13:13.564 --> 00:13:16.595 No, no, no. It’s not reasonable for him to let his parents pay me to tutor him for a 00:13:16.595 --> 00:13:19.626 paper he’s just gonna buy from me anyway. 00:13:19.626 --> 00:13:23.798 Thirty seconds ago you felt bad for the guy; now it’s his fault? 00:13:23.798 --> 00:13:25.476 Whose fault is it? 00:13:25.476 --> 00:13:31.192 Society’s. I don't know, I’m not the one making this kid go to school. 00:13:31.192 --> 00:13:33.105 But you are the one that’s supposed to help him. 00:13:33.105 --> 00:13:34.986 I am helping him. 00:13:34.986 --> 00:13:36.495 You’re helping yourself, David. 00:13:36.495 --> 00:13:39.531 Well, at least it’s going to someone who needs it. 00:13:39.531 --> 00:13:41.827 So you admit you do need help. 00:13:41.827 --> 00:13:44.385 We all do. It runs in the family. 00:13:44.385 --> 00:13:49.394 You're right about that one. 00:13:52.140 --> 00:13:57.789 Ask me how I’m doing. 00:13:57.789 --> 00:13:59.214 How are you? 00:13:59.214 --> 00:14:00.719 I’m shitty. 00:14:00.719 --> 00:14:02.384 Sorry. What’s up? 00:14:02.384 --> 00:14:04.274 Phil’s not doing too good. 00:14:04.274 --> 00:14:06.324 He’s never doing well. 00:14:06.324 --> 00:14:08.170 Like health-wise. 00:14:08.170 --> 00:14:09.174 He’s never been healthy. 00:14:09.174 --> 00:14:09.996 He’s proud of it. 00:14:09.996 --> 00:14:13.725 If you told him he was healthy he’d shoot himself in the head just to prove you wrong. 00:14:13.725 --> 00:14:15.754 I think he’s really sick this time. 00:14:15.754 --> 00:14:17.761 He’s been coughing up some weird stuff, which… 00:14:17.761 --> 00:14:20.693 you know, he always coughs up weird stuff, but it used to be black, 00:14:20.693 --> 00:14:23.399 and then it was red, and now it’s still red 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:26.178 but it has, like, tints of blue in it so it looks purplish, 00:14:26.178 --> 00:14:29.004 but there’s nothing on Web MD about that. 00:14:29.004 --> 00:14:31.273 What he’d do? Drink out of a Porta Potty? 00:14:31.273 --> 00:14:33.950 I don’t know, but he's gonna need one too. 00:14:33.950 --> 00:14:37.640 The other day he almost had an accident in Key Food. 00:14:37.640 --> 00:14:40.499 Did he run over another cashier? 00:14:40.499 --> 00:14:44.082 David, I’m serious. He’s not old enough to be incontinent. 00:14:44.082 --> 00:14:46.983 I wanna take him to see a doctor, but - 00:14:46.983 --> 00:14:49.665 Don't take him to a doctor. He doesn’t like doctors. 00:14:49.665 --> 00:14:53.975 No, he likes doctors, he just doesn’t trust doctors. 00:14:53.975 --> 00:14:56.121 He’s very specific about this. 00:14:56.121 --> 00:14:59.842 “I’ll have a drink with a doctor, but not if he’s gonna tell me how much to drink.” 00:14:59.842 --> 00:15:01.667 He doesn’t like being told what to do. 00:15:01.667 --> 00:15:04.082 He doesn’t like taking other people’s advice. 00:15:04.082 --> 00:15:08.902 Even when he knows they’re right. 00:15:08.902 --> 00:15:10.431 At me. 00:15:10.431 --> 00:15:13.199 He’s just as stubborn as you are too, so, 00:15:13.199 --> 00:15:15.427 just be prepared if something happens, okay? 00:15:15.427 --> 00:15:16.486 Are you kidding? 00:15:16.486 --> 00:15:18.463 I’ve been waiting for this for twenty-five years. 00:15:18.463 --> 00:15:22.218 I have an expired bag of popcorn chosen specifically for this moment. 00:15:22.218 --> 00:15:24.930 Get another one. I’ll join you. 00:15:24.930 --> 00:15:25.800 Why do you even take care of him? 00:15:25.800 --> 00:15:27.671 Are you gonna take care of him? 00:15:27.671 --> 00:15:29.771 No, I’d dump his ass on the sidewalk. 00:15:29.771 --> 00:15:32.283 You’re practically on the sidewalk yourself. 00:15:32.283 --> 00:15:34.708 I mean, can’t you just put him somewhere? 00:15:34.708 --> 00:15:36.511 Like a nursing home? 00:15:36.511 --> 00:15:37.671 No, a funeral home. 00:15:37.671 --> 00:15:40.983 Maybe they’ll think he’s already dead and box him up right there. 00:15:40.983 --> 00:15:42.815 He won’t go to either. 00:15:42.815 --> 00:15:45.580 He hates old people because they remind him that he’s old, 00:15:45.580 --> 00:15:49.830 and he hates dead people because he’s jealous of them. 00:15:49.830 --> 00:15:55.511 Anyway, as annoying as he is, I’d rather have him be unhappy here than be unhappy 00:15:55.511 --> 00:15:56.909 somewhere else. 00:15:56.909 --> 00:15:58.721 We owe him that much. 00:15:58.721 --> 00:16:02.188 The only thing we owe him is a bill for years of financial abuse. 00:16:02.188 --> 00:16:06.210 I’m not saying he was Keanu Reeves, but he was there for us. 00:16:06.210 --> 00:16:09.154 Maybe we would have been better off without him. 00:16:09.154 --> 00:16:11.176 Maybe we would have been worse. 00:16:11.176 --> 00:16:14.854 Well, you’re not the one with a shit degree, living in a shit apartment, 00:16:14.854 --> 00:16:16.254 working a shit job. 00:16:16.254 --> 00:16:20.138 You could have no degree, no apartment, and no job. 00:16:20.138 --> 00:16:23.670 Okay, but who is the common denominator here? 00:16:23.670 --> 00:16:25.500 How is any of that Phil’s fault? 00:16:25.500 --> 00:16:27.748 If it’s not his fault, then whose is it? 00:16:27.748 --> 00:16:33.451 I dunno, “society”? I’m not the one blaming other people for how my life turned out. 00:16:33.451 --> 00:16:35.202 I don’t blame other people. 00:16:35.202 --> 00:16:36.372 You just blamed him. 00:16:36.372 --> 00:16:38.487 I said “other people.” Phil’s not a person. 00:16:38.487 --> 00:16:41.331 Five minutes ago you were giving me a list of reasons why other 00:16:41.331 --> 00:16:43.396 people won’t hire you. 00:16:43.396 --> 00:16:45.857 They won’t hire me because my resume looks like shit, 00:16:45.857 --> 00:16:48.128 and my resume looks like shit because Phil fucked me up. 00:16:48.128 --> 00:16:49.968 So everything’s his fault? 00:16:49.968 --> 00:16:51.966 He’s the reason both of us are stuck. 00:16:51.966 --> 00:16:53.457 He’s the reason we don’t have a - 00:16:53.457 --> 00:16:55.280 Who said I felt stuck? I never said that. 00:16:55.280 --> 00:16:56.364 You’re stuck taking care of him. 00:16:56.364 --> 00:16:58.500 I don’t mind taking care of him. 00:16:58.500 --> 00:16:59.838 Well, five years down the line, you might. 00:16:59.838 --> 00:17:01.868 If he even lives that long. 00:17:01.868 --> 00:17:03.673 We should all be so lucky. 00:17:03.673 --> 00:17:06.260 You can’t keep using Phil as an excuse to do nothing. 00:17:06.260 --> 00:17:08.169 David, you’re an adult. 00:17:08.169 --> 00:17:10.566 You’re not trapped at home like some SoundCloud rapper. 00:17:10.566 --> 00:17:12.870 You can make choices. 00:17:12.870 --> 00:17:13.253 What choices? 00:17:13.253 --> 00:17:15.748 Choosing between paying for my WiFi so I can keep my job, 00:17:15.748 --> 00:17:17.706 or paying for my rent so I have a place to live? 00:17:17.706 --> 00:17:21.915 Choosing to apply to a different job, instead of talking yourself out of it. 00:17:21.915 --> 00:17:24.148 I talk myself out of embarrassing myself. 00:17:24.148 --> 00:17:25.623 It’s called having dignity. 00:17:25.623 --> 00:17:27.207 Something I didn't get from Phil. 00:17:27.207 --> 00:17:30.373 “Dignity?” David, you sell term papers to college students. 00:17:30.373 --> 00:17:32.410 That’s a matter of integrity, not dignity. 00:17:32.410 --> 00:17:34.501 I do not have integrity. 00:17:34.501 --> 00:17:39.813 Are you gonna blame that on Phil, too? The man is dying, David. 00:17:39.813 --> 00:17:42.466 Yeah, well it’s about fucking time. 00:17:46.686 --> 00:17:50.656 You know, you have never had to bathe him because he 00:17:50.656 --> 00:17:52.384 can't stand in the shower by himself. 00:17:52.384 --> 00:17:53.459 Oh my God. 00:17:53.459 --> 00:17:55.918 No. You keep talking about how much he fucked up your life, 00:17:55.918 --> 00:17:59.440 but you don't have to put his dinner in the blender because he can’t 00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:00.938 chew anything anymore. 00:18:00.938 --> 00:18:03.564 You don’t see the look of embarrassment on his face when he has an accident 00:18:03.564 --> 00:18:05.796 and he cries because he feels like a child. - Can I just say something 00:18:05.796 --> 00:18:09.639 You don’t know what it feels like to be responsible for someone else. 00:18:09.639 --> 00:18:12.945 All you’ve ever had to do was be responsible for yourself, and you can’t even do that right. 00:18:12.945 --> 00:18:15.210 Can I just say one thing? 00:18:15.210 --> 00:18:15.846 What? 00:18:15.846 --> 00:18:19.801 Nobody is asking you to do all of that. 00:18:21.161 --> 00:18:23.398 Fuck you. 00:18:33.095 --> 00:18:36.353 (A dial tone) 00:18:36.353 --> 00:18:38.232 What? 00:18:38.232 --> 00:18:40.910 Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. 00:18:40.910 --> 00:18:42.342 Uh-huh. 00:18:42.342 --> 00:18:44.308 But I do believe honesty is the best pol- 00:18:44.308 --> 00:18:47.270 Oh, shut the fuck up. 00:18:47.270 --> 00:18:48.840 (The line goes dead) 00:18:57.761 --> 00:18:59.851 (An eerie wind sound) 00:19:10.882 --> 00:19:12.842 (An announcer) Most people wouldn't bike 00:19:12.842 --> 00:19:16.183 through a Native American reservation without expressly written consent 00:19:16.183 --> 00:19:17.733 of the local tribe. 00:19:17.733 --> 00:19:19.833 But we're not most people 00:19:19.833 --> 00:19:21.807 How are we gonna get out of this jam? 00:19:21.807 --> 00:19:25.433 Find out on the new season of 'Two White Guys' 00:19:25.433 --> 00:19:28.493 (Static) 00:19:48.281 --> 00:19:54.340 Annie, are you using the microwave? 00:19:54.340 --> 00:19:56.775 Annie! 00:19:58.390 --> 00:20:00.350 Annie! 00:20:00.350 --> 00:20:04.784 Who’s Annie? 00:20:11.789 --> 00:20:13.885 (Annie) What do you want? 00:20:13.885 --> 00:20:19.436 I’m playing Stardew Valley. 00:20:19.436 --> 00:20:22.400 Dude, what the fuck do you want? 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:25.915 Nothing, I just saw a spider. 00:20:25.915 --> 00:20:28.622 Oh my God! Did you kill her? 00:20:28.622 --> 00:20:31.250 Yeah, she’s dead. 00:20:31.250 --> 00:20:36.213 What the fuck, man? Insect life is sacred! 00:20:36.213 --> 00:20:39.063 It was an accident. 00:20:39.063 --> 00:20:42.427 Are you sure she’s dead? 00:20:42.427 --> 00:20:46.348 Yes. I’m sorry, Annie. 00:20:46.348 --> 00:20:53.391 Okay, let me in. I’ll bury her. 00:20:53.391 --> 00:20:59.253 I can’t. I need to be alone right now. 00:20:59.253 --> 00:21:01.330 Why? 00:21:01.330 --> 00:21:07.456 I have to pray. 00:21:07.456 --> 00:21:10.888 I didn’t know you were religious? 00:21:10.888 --> 00:21:14.879 Yeah, I’m making a change. 00:21:14.879 --> 00:21:17.459 Look, I really need to repent. 00:21:17.459 --> 00:21:23.400 Yeah, I’m sorry. Just bury her outside when you’re done, okay? 00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:24.789 I’ll leave a trowel out. 00:21:24.789 --> 00:21:27.220 I will. Thank you, Annie. 00:21:29.360 --> 00:21:32.863 God bless you, David. 00:21:32.863 --> 00:21:37.399 God bless you too, Annie. 00:21:42.380 --> 00:21:44.576 That’s Annie. 00:21:44.576 --> 00:21:47.501 I see. I should probably introduce myself. 00:21:47.501 --> 00:21:48.783 You’re me. 00:21:48.783 --> 00:21:50.730 Good. I’m glad we got that out of the way. 00:21:50.730 --> 00:21:53.667 Or you’re a deepfake and someone is trying to hack me. 00:21:53.667 --> 00:21:56.884 Okay, maybe we didn’t get that out of the way. Let me explain. 00:21:56.884 --> 00:21:59.878 You don’t need to. Whoever you are, get the fuck off my TV. 00:21:59.878 --> 00:22:01.820 I don’t have any money. 00:22:01.820 --> 00:22:03.800 Honestly, if you wanna steal my identity, just go for it. 00:22:03.800 --> 00:22:05.299 I don’t wanna be myself anyway. 00:22:05.299 --> 00:22:06.444 Are we good? 00:22:06.444 --> 00:22:07.567 Are you good? 00:22:07.567 --> 00:22:09.275 No, my fucking TV is talking to me. 00:22:09.275 --> 00:22:11.799 Do you wanna maybe take a moment to calm down? 00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:14.619 I would really prefer if you just got the fuck off my TV. 00:22:14.619 --> 00:22:16.591 Okay, well, that’s not gonna happen, David. 00:22:16.591 --> 00:22:18.915 I have something important to talk to you about. 00:22:18.915 --> 00:22:20.899 Great. Call my secretary. Make an appointment. 00:22:20.899 --> 00:22:23.147 We’ll do lunch. Get the fuck off my TV. 00:22:23.147 --> 00:22:25.475 You can’t just keep telling me to get the fuck off your TV. 00:22:25.475 --> 00:22:28.287 Is that what I said? I'm sorry. 00:22:28.287 --> 00:22:31.173 What I meant to say was, “Get the fuck off my TV.” 00:22:31.173 --> 00:22:32.926 David. I understand that this is bizarre, 00:22:32.926 --> 00:22:36.139 but this is happening whether you like it or not. 00:22:36.139 --> 00:22:38.995 So can you calm down, and just give me a moment to explain? 00:22:45.175 --> 00:22:47.144 I’m calling the police. 00:22:47.144 --> 00:22:49.546 I can help you change your life. 00:22:49.546 --> 00:22:51.212 Sure. How much do I send you? 00:22:51.212 --> 00:22:53.807 Nothing. All I need is your time and effort. 00:22:53.807 --> 00:22:56.960 I already have work to do, which, you’re kinda preventing me from doing right now. 00:22:56.960 --> 00:23:00.170 You mean that cheap term paper you’re writing for someone else? 00:23:00.170 --> 00:23:01.587 So you’re spying on me, too? 00:23:01.587 --> 00:23:04.890 Is it really spying if you’re just watching yourself? 00:23:04.890 --> 00:23:06.370 You’re not me. 00:23:06.370 --> 00:23:09.743 Yes I am. And no I’m not. 00:23:09.743 --> 00:23:11.487 Are you confused? 00:23:11.487 --> 00:23:16.464 David, I’m you, from an alternate timeline, in the year twenty-thirty. 00:23:16.464 --> 00:23:20.564 ♪ (A foreboding chord) ♪ 00:23:25.253 --> 00:23:27.296 So you’re from the future. 00:23:27.296 --> 00:23:28.451 That's right. 00:23:28.451 --> 00:23:29.737 But not my future. 00:23:29.737 --> 00:23:34.188 Yes. I’m a different David from a different timeline that is parallel to yours. 00:23:34.188 --> 00:23:36.349 And there are different Davids in different timelines? 00:23:36.349 --> 00:23:37.740 That's right. 00:23:37.740 --> 00:23:38.526 How many? 00:23:38.526 --> 00:23:39.782 More than we can imagine. 00:23:39.782 --> 00:23:41.966 Every timeline’s different from the last one. 00:23:41.966 --> 00:23:44.821 It could be something big, like the planets are made of chocolate, 00:23:44.821 --> 00:23:47.937 or it could be small, like Seth Rogen has two eyes. 00:23:47.937 --> 00:23:49.981 Seth Rogen does have two eyes. 00:23:49.981 --> 00:23:51.922 In this timeline he does. 00:23:51.922 --> 00:23:56.290 Okay. And you must be from the timeline where I’m completely fucking insane? 00:23:56.290 --> 00:24:00.402 We’re in your timeline, David. If anyone’s insane here, it’s you. 00:24:00.402 --> 00:24:03.291 I’m not entirely convinced that I’m not. 00:24:03.291 --> 00:24:07.879 Okay, David… I literally have a time-sensitive issue to discuss with you. 00:24:07.879 --> 00:24:15.344 So can we just… tone down the defensive sarcasm and accept what is happening? 00:24:19.185 --> 00:24:20.581 Prove it. 00:24:20.581 --> 00:24:21.828 Prove what? 00:24:21.828 --> 00:24:24.302 Prove that you’re me. Or, some version of me. 00:24:24.302 --> 00:24:25.619 I don’t have time for this. 00:24:25.619 --> 00:24:27.712 I thought you said you could time travel? 00:24:27.712 --> 00:24:29.497 I said I was from the future. 00:24:29.497 --> 00:24:32.747 This is not “travel,” this is telecommunication. 00:24:32.747 --> 00:24:36.162 You know how much this costs on my phone bill - you know what, fine. 00:24:36.162 --> 00:24:37.889 What do you want me to prove? 00:24:37.889 --> 00:24:39.493 Tell me something only I would know. 00:24:39.493 --> 00:24:42.988 Okay. Your father is currently coughing up something that looks like laundry detergent. 00:24:42.988 --> 00:24:45.341 You could’ve listened to my phone calls. 00:24:45.341 --> 00:24:49.149 Fair. Uh… in high school, you wrote a short story making fun of your music teacher, 00:24:49.149 --> 00:24:52.412 but you got cold feet and didn’t submit it to the school newspaper. 00:24:52.412 --> 00:24:55.123 I actually did submit that paper. 00:24:55.123 --> 00:25:00.759 Oh. See, the timelines are a little different. How’d it go? Did they publish it? 00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:04.733 No. They were not fans of the passage where Mr. Kleio tried to count how many 00:25:04.733 --> 00:25:06.912 trumpets he could fit inside himself. 00:25:06.912 --> 00:25:09.453 Yeah, good thing I didn’t submit it then. 00:25:09.453 --> 00:25:13.911 Okay, I got it. You jerked off to the dance scene in Suspiria. 00:25:20.461 --> 00:25:21.360 Which one? 00:25:21.360 --> 00:25:23.399 We both know which one. 00:25:23.399 --> 00:25:25.486 Okay, you have my attention. 00:25:25.486 --> 00:25:28.621 Can we proceed with the assumption that I am you from a different timeline? 00:25:28.621 --> 00:25:31.736 I will give you the benefit of the doubt provided you do not tell 00:25:31.736 --> 00:25:33.592 anyone what you know. 00:25:33.592 --> 00:25:36.406 I wouldn’t do that. We’re on the same side here, David. 00:25:36.406 --> 00:25:38.115 Doesn’t feel like it. 00:25:38.115 --> 00:25:40.648 Well, I need you on my side. 00:25:40.648 --> 00:25:41.837 I need your help. 00:25:41.837 --> 00:25:43.132 With what? 00:25:43.132 --> 00:25:44.688 I need to catch a murderer. 00:25:44.688 --> 00:25:52.321 ♪ (The foreboding chord) ♪ 00:25:52.321 --> 00:25:53.321 (A record scratch) 00:25:53.321 --> 00:25:56.512 And why do you think I would be the best person to help you with that? 00:25:56.512 --> 00:25:58.368 I’ll explain that in a moment. 00:25:58.368 --> 00:26:00.317 David, I used to be a Temporal Agent. 00:26:00.317 --> 00:26:03.594 You don’t know what they are yet, but they will exist in your future. 00:26:03.594 --> 00:26:07.533 Our job is to regulate and control the usage of Temporal Technology, 00:26:07.533 --> 00:26:09.107 also known as TempTech. 00:26:09.107 --> 00:26:12.108 It’s what you probably call time travel technology. 00:26:12.108 --> 00:26:15.532 We would call it that, but an interdimensional tourism company 00:26:15.532 --> 00:26:17.223 kinda beat us to the patent rights. 00:26:17.223 --> 00:26:18.712 So it’s TempTech. 00:26:18.712 --> 00:26:20.252 Okay. TempTech. 00:26:20.252 --> 00:26:21.882 Sounds made up, but I believe you. 00:26:21.882 --> 00:26:25.672 A couple years ago, we started seeing videos of murders posted on TubeYou. 00:26:25.672 --> 00:26:26.620 TubeYou? 00:26:26.620 --> 00:26:28.409 TubeYou. You guys don’t have TubeYou? 00:26:28.409 --> 00:26:30.502 I think it’s called YouTube here. 00:26:30.502 --> 00:26:32.276 Oh. That’s weird. 00:26:32.276 --> 00:26:35.971 Anyway, we started seeing videos of murders online. 00:26:35.971 --> 00:26:37.225 But not just any murders. 00:26:37.225 --> 00:26:38.265 What, like snuff films? 00:26:38.265 --> 00:26:39.500 No. 00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:40.193 Murder porn? 00:26:40.193 --> 00:26:40.913 No. 00:26:40.913 --> 00:26:42.274 Cannibalism? 00:26:42.274 --> 00:26:44.674 No. Maybe it’s better if I show you - 00:26:44.674 --> 00:26:47.652 No, no, no, no, no, no. I would rather not watch a murder. 00:26:47.652 --> 00:26:49.714 Squeamish. 00:26:49.714 --> 00:26:50.924 So was I. 00:26:50.924 --> 00:26:51.828 You’ll get over it. 00:26:51.828 --> 00:26:54.194 These videos show murders across time. 00:26:54.194 --> 00:26:58.111 Someone got access to TempTech and is using it to leap across time 00:26:58.111 --> 00:26:59.854 and murder people in the past. 00:26:59.854 --> 00:27:01.205 Wouldn’t that change the future? 00:27:01.205 --> 00:27:03.324 Like, in that shitty Ashton Kutcher movie? 00:27:03.324 --> 00:27:04.783 The Fruit Fly Effect. 00:27:04.783 --> 00:27:06.316 The Butterfly Effect. 00:27:06.316 --> 00:27:08.498 Yeah, whatever. It’s terrible in my timeline too. 00:27:08.498 --> 00:27:10.480 But surprisingly accurate. Let me explain. 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:12.571 You keep saying you’re gonna explain things. 00:27:12.571 --> 00:27:14.814 You just met someone from an alternate timeline. 00:27:14.814 --> 00:27:16.919 You didn’t think there’d be a huge exposition dump? 00:27:16.919 --> 00:27:18.995 Yeah, but don’t you have a Powerpoint for this or something? 00:27:18.995 --> 00:27:23.252 Powerpoints? Where we’re going, we don’t need Powerpoints. 00:27:23.252 --> 00:27:25.851 Back to the Future. Surprising. 00:27:25.851 --> 00:27:28.822 What? No, that’s from Blade Runner. 00:27:28.822 --> 00:27:30.752 What the hell is Back to the Future? 00:27:30.752 --> 00:27:35.702 Never mind. Just listen. Let’s say you have access to TempTech. 00:27:35.702 --> 00:27:36.518 Okay. 00:27:36.518 --> 00:27:40.601 If you could go back in time and kill anyone, who would you kill? 00:27:40.601 --> 00:27:41.465 Adam. 00:27:41.465 --> 00:27:42.455 What? 00:27:42.455 --> 00:27:44.850 I’m kidding. Hitler. I’d go back and kill Hitler. 00:27:44.850 --> 00:27:46.655 Right. Most people would. 00:27:46.655 --> 00:27:48.990 But you can’t actually do that. 00:27:48.990 --> 00:27:49.967 Yeah. It’s called a grandfather paradox. 00:27:49.967 --> 00:27:51.628 If went back and killed someone you'd be 00:27:51.628 --> 00:27:57.950 erasing the reason you went back in time in the first place 00:27:57.950 --> 00:28:00.095 I read a lot of sci-fi. 00:28:00.095 --> 00:28:03.378 That's exactly right. If you killed Hitler in the past, 00:28:03.378 --> 00:28:06.662 you’d be erasing the reason you went back in time in the first place. 00:28:06.662 --> 00:28:09.759 Right, so you can’t kill anyone in the past. 00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:13.227 Well, that’s what you’d think, but the video says otherwise. 00:28:13.227 --> 00:28:14.417 Video of what? 00:28:14.417 --> 00:28:15.633 Of Hitler’s murder. 00:28:15.633 --> 00:28:16.826 Hitler shot himself. 00:28:16.826 --> 00:28:18.718 No, he didn’t. 00:28:18.718 --> 00:28:22.199 Dude, this isn’t gonna be some Tupac conspiracy shit, is it? 00:28:22.199 --> 00:28:25.180 No, it’s not a conspiracy. This is what actually happened. 00:28:25.180 --> 00:28:27.110 That’s not what Wikipedia says. 00:28:27.110 --> 00:28:29.244 Wikipedia is not fact. 00:28:29.244 --> 00:28:33.801 Wikipedia is an observation made and recorded by humans. 00:28:33.801 --> 00:28:36.861 Wikipedia is what we know, and what we think we know. 00:28:36.861 --> 00:28:39.310 And Wikipedia was wrong. 00:28:39.310 --> 00:28:42.312 We have video evidence that Adolf Hitler, as well as dozens 00:28:42.312 --> 00:28:45.587 of other historical figures, were murdered. 00:28:45.587 --> 00:28:47.363 All by the same person. 00:28:47.363 --> 00:28:51.786 That’s not possible. 00:28:51.786 --> 00:28:53.620 It would cause a grandfather paradox. 00:28:53.620 --> 00:28:55.564 The killer didn’t change the past. 00:28:55.564 --> 00:28:59.320 He already killed his victims; he just didn’t know it yet. 00:28:59.320 --> 00:29:00.346 Nobody knew it. 00:29:00.346 --> 00:29:03.191 People in the past had already come up with reasons to explain 00:29:03.191 --> 00:29:06.347 why these deaths occurred. The killer didn’t change the past. 00:29:07.778 --> 00:29:09.622 He caused it. 00:29:09.622 --> 00:29:11.488 … so he killed Hitler? 00:29:11.488 --> 00:29:12.819 Yes. 00:29:12.819 --> 00:29:15.562 The video is taken from Hitler’s office in the Führerbunker . 00:29:15.562 --> 00:29:18.777 Hitler and his wife, Eva Braun, are both restrained. 00:29:18.777 --> 00:29:22.598 The killer forces Braun to eat a cyanide pill as Hitler watches. 00:29:22.598 --> 00:29:25.538 Then he feeds Hitler a bullet sandwich with his own pistol. 00:29:25.538 --> 00:29:28.103 So Hitler’s death was staged to look like a suicide? 00:29:28.103 --> 00:29:31.255 Nobody would have known, because Hitler signed a last will two days earlier. 00:29:31.255 --> 00:29:34.131 Everyone around him knew he was going to kill himself, so they didn’t 00:29:34.131 --> 00:29:36.167 think to look for evidence. 00:29:36.167 --> 00:29:38.715 But even if they did, they wouldn’t have found anything. 00:29:38.715 --> 00:29:40.898 The timeline can’t allow for an anachronism. 00:29:40.898 --> 00:29:43.208 So… the timeline hides evidence for this guy? 00:29:43.208 --> 00:29:46.590 That’s right. He can kill with impunity, 00:29:46.590 --> 00:29:49.106 because it’s impossible for him to be caught in the past. 00:29:49.106 --> 00:29:51.558 But if he can only kill people he’s already killed… 00:29:51.558 --> 00:29:54.222 how does he know who he’s already killed? 00:29:54.222 --> 00:29:58.713 He doesn’t. If he fails, he fails. 00:29:58.713 --> 00:30:01.251 He can’t get caught anyway. 00:30:01.251 --> 00:30:07.492 But if he succeeds, he has video evidence proving Wikipedia is wrong. 00:30:07.492 --> 00:30:13.497 People who see video after video of murders that supposedly never happened - 00:30:13.497 --> 00:30:15.104 they lose faith in Wikipedia. 00:30:15.104 --> 00:30:18.748 They start to question reality. 00:30:18.748 --> 00:30:23.682 How do you believe in anything when there’s a madman slashing his way through 00:30:23.682 --> 00:30:26.037 history who nobody can stop? 00:30:26.037 --> 00:30:28.491 Nobody can even find? 00:30:40.170 --> 00:30:44.101 I… I don’t know. I thought those were rhetorical questions. 00:30:44.101 --> 00:30:45.979 They were, I was letting the moment land. 00:30:45.979 --> 00:30:48.219 Point is, this is much bigger than just one killer. 00:30:48.219 --> 00:30:50.395 So why doesn’t anyone in your universe stop him? 00:30:50.395 --> 00:30:53.428 Okay, first of all “timeline,” not “universe.” 00:30:53.428 --> 00:30:55.147 “Timeline,” okay? 00:30:55.147 --> 00:30:59.004 If we start using different words, this is gonna get more confusing than it already is. 00:30:59.004 --> 00:31:01.939 Second, we tried. When I was back at the Temp Agency we - 00:31:01.939 --> 00:31:03.810 You worked at a temp agency? 00:31:03.810 --> 00:31:08.158 The Temporal Agency. I was a Temporal Agent. I said that before. 00:31:08.158 --> 00:31:10.944 Oh, sorry, just had to clarify. 00:31:10.944 --> 00:31:15.533 The Agency didn’t want to waste resources trying to catch someone who couldn’t be caught. 00:31:15.533 --> 00:31:19.530 The best they we could do was remove his videos and suspend his Twitch channel. 00:31:19.530 --> 00:31:25.718 But it doesn’t stop him, and it’s not justice. 00:31:25.718 --> 00:31:29.760 The Agency thought I was fixated on the case. 00:31:29.760 --> 00:31:31.942 They say the killer just wants attention. 00:31:31.942 --> 00:31:37.279 They think the problem will go away if they just ignore it. 00:31:37.279 --> 00:31:42.190 Even in the future, people don’t learn from the past. 00:31:42.190 --> 00:31:45.672 I’m the only one who wants to do anything about this. 00:31:50.692 --> 00:31:53.707 You could ask me what my plan is. 00:31:53.707 --> 00:31:55.257 Tell me more. 00:31:55.257 --> 00:31:59.969 Before I left the Agency, I managed to get a hold of a new form of TempTech. 00:31:59.969 --> 00:32:03.516 It was an experimental prototype that would allow telecommunication between 00:32:03.516 --> 00:32:08.904 two timelines over a sixth dimensional plane. 00:32:08.904 --> 00:32:12.475 Basically, the thing that lets us talk right now. 00:32:12.475 --> 00:32:13.181 Okay. 00:32:13.181 --> 00:32:14.357 So I had a theory. 00:32:14.357 --> 00:32:16.570 I know I can’t find this guy, 00:32:16.570 --> 00:32:19.687 I can’t catch him, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to kill him. 00:32:19.687 --> 00:32:23.122 I can’t go back in time and stop him from getting access to TempTech, 00:32:23.122 --> 00:32:25.490 because that would cause a grandfather paradox. 00:32:25.490 --> 00:32:28.154 So you want me to kill him from my timeline. 00:32:28.154 --> 00:32:29.307 Not just kill him. 00:32:29.307 --> 00:32:30.364 Erase him. 00:32:30.364 --> 00:32:32.325 I need you to prevent him from being born. 00:32:32.325 --> 00:32:33.765 ♪ (A foreboding chord) ♪ 00:32:33.765 --> 00:32:36.167 Why can’t you just come here and do that yourself? 00:32:36.167 --> 00:32:39.882 TempTech isn’t advanced enough to transfer physical matter between timelines. 00:32:39.882 --> 00:32:42.644 If I tried, I would most likely just be spaghettified. 00:32:42.644 --> 00:32:43.862 Spaghettified? 00:32:43.862 --> 00:32:48.113 Imagine a baby. Happy. Healthy. Limbs intact. 00:32:48.113 --> 00:32:49.037 Okay. 00:32:49.037 --> 00:32:55.621 Now imagine that same baby being pushed through a cheese grater. 00:32:55.621 --> 00:32:59.352 The gravity created by a wormball of that size would literally 00:32:59.352 --> 00:33:02.126 tear the molecules out of my body. 00:33:02.126 --> 00:33:06.749 Anyway, I can’t move between timelines, but electrons can. 00:33:06.749 --> 00:33:09.320 That’s why I’m reaching out to you. 00:33:09.320 --> 00:33:14.880 If we find out out who the killer is, you can use TempTech to visit my timeline in the past 00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:16.442 contact his parents, and prevent them from meeting. 00:33:16.442 --> 00:33:18.236 It’s two steps. 00:33:18.236 --> 00:33:22.790 We find out who he is, you place a sixth-dimensional phone call. 00:33:22.790 --> 00:33:23.739 And I sit and pray that it works. 00:33:23.739 --> 00:33:25.874 You don’t know if it’ll work. 00:33:25.874 --> 00:33:29.152 It’s the only way I can think of to escape a grandfather paradox. 00:33:29.152 --> 00:33:33.955 But it wouldn’t. If you succeeded you'd be erasing your own present. 00:33:33.955 --> 00:33:39.388 That's right, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. 00:33:39.388 --> 00:33:41.386 I have many questions. 00:33:41.386 --> 00:33:43.204 Like: why do I want your help? 00:33:43.204 --> 00:33:45.903 You don’t know anything about TempTech or serial killers. 00:33:45.903 --> 00:33:49.617 You’re just a failed fiction writer with a weakness for demonic dance scenes. 00:33:49.617 --> 00:33:51.588 Read my mind. 00:33:51.588 --> 00:33:55.110 Sixth dimensional communication isn’t an exact science... yet. 00:33:55.110 --> 00:33:59.401 You can’t calibrate it in a way that you know exactly what timeline you’re gonna end up in. 00:33:59.401 --> 00:34:02.170 So I’ve been searching for the right David. 00:34:02.170 --> 00:34:05.230 I couldn’t trust anyone but myself with this information, so who better to ask? 00:34:05.230 --> 00:34:08.236 I found Davids who were interested in the science, 00:34:08.236 --> 00:34:11.242 but too queasy to deal with the ethics of erasing someone from existence. 00:34:11.242 --> 00:34:15.428 I found Davids who couldn’t care less about other people dying in a parallel timeline. 00:34:15.428 --> 00:34:19.749 And then I found Davids who just… weren’t cut out for it. 00:34:19.749 --> 00:34:23.140 And then I found you. And you were sad. 00:34:23.140 --> 00:34:27.830 And you were disappointed in yourself, the same way I’m disappointed in myself. 00:34:27.830 --> 00:34:29.622 I knew you were someone who needed a second chance. 00:34:29.622 --> 00:34:32.383 You mean you thought you could manipulate me. 00:34:32.383 --> 00:34:38.180 No. David, if you do this, you’ll save the lives of countless people in my timeline. 00:34:38.180 --> 00:34:41.438 They’ll never know it, but that doesn’t change the facts. 00:34:41.438 --> 00:34:44.165 History is just what’s recorded. 00:34:44.165 --> 00:34:49.415 Your deeds matter, regardless of whether anyone recognizes them or not. 00:34:49.415 --> 00:34:52.974 So, no, I don’t want to manipulate you. 00:34:52.974 --> 00:34:57.080 I want to motivate you to do something selfless, something great. 00:34:57.080 --> 00:34:59.030 I think you want to do something great. 00:34:59.030 --> 00:35:00.490 You were wrong. 00:35:00.490 --> 00:35:02.204 Look, I listened to your pitch. 00:35:02.204 --> 00:35:06.392 You seem like an okay guy, and I’m not just saying that because you remind me of myself. 00:35:06.392 --> 00:35:11.154 But I’m not your guy. 00:35:11.154 --> 00:35:13.536 You didn’t ask about what I said earlier. 00:35:13.536 --> 00:35:15.543 That I could help you change your life. 00:35:15.543 --> 00:35:17.912 That’s because I know what false advertising looks like. 00:35:17.912 --> 00:35:22.492 Maybe you’re so used to being lied to that you’ve stopped believing in the truth. 00:35:22.492 --> 00:35:24.572 You’re not curious about what I can offer you? 00:35:24.572 --> 00:35:27.315 You’re gonna give me TempTech in exchange for helping you. 00:35:27.315 --> 00:35:30.354 That’s right. I can’t physically send you a device, 00:35:30.354 --> 00:35:33.181 but I can give you all the documents and software you would need. 00:35:33.181 --> 00:35:37.236 I also have a discount code for Skillshare so you can learn about the engineering. 00:35:37.236 --> 00:35:40.841 It’ll take a while to understand all of it, but once you’re ready, 00:35:40.841 --> 00:35:44.447 you can reach out to other Davids across the sixth dimensional plane. 00:35:44.447 --> 00:35:48.272 Once you find the right one you can change your own timeline. 00:35:48.272 --> 00:35:50.783 You can change your past. 00:35:50.783 --> 00:35:55.960 You know I knew this was a scam, but... it’s worse. 00:35:55.960 --> 00:35:58.867 Find another David? 00:35:58.867 --> 00:36:03.255 This is just a fucking chain letter. 00:36:03.255 --> 00:36:05.999 No wonder the Agency fired you 00:36:05.999 --> 00:36:11.681 You’re just as insane as the guy you’re obsessed with. 00:36:13.823 --> 00:36:18.615 Cute. But I don’t blame you. This is a lot to take in. 00:36:18.615 --> 00:36:22.961 So I’m gonna come back forty-eight hours from now - 00:36:22.961 --> 00:36:24.121 Don’t bother. 00:36:24.121 --> 00:36:26.675 And you can give me your answer then. 00:36:26.675 --> 00:36:29.983 And David, when you’re thinking about my offer, 00:36:29.983 --> 00:36:33.947 remember this: I’m from the year twenty-thirty. 00:36:33.947 --> 00:36:36.692 Why do think I visited you in the year twenty-twenty? 00:36:36.692 --> 00:36:38.729 Because you’re a masochist? 00:36:38.729 --> 00:36:42.949 No. Well, yes, but, that’s the reason why. 00:36:42.949 --> 00:36:46.509 I visited your timeline in the year twenty-thirty. 00:36:46.509 --> 00:36:52.528 I looked around for you. You weren’t there. 00:36:52.528 --> 00:36:56.835 You need this more than you know. 00:37:16.409 --> 00:37:22.827 (Typing) 00:38:00.890 --> 00:38:03.840 (A dial tone) 00:38:21.846 --> 00:38:24.236 (A phone ringing) 00:38:34.600 --> 00:38:36.620 Hey. 00:38:36.620 --> 00:38:37.583 You called? 00:38:37.583 --> 00:38:39.371 Yeah. Are you busy? 00:38:39.371 --> 00:38:41.996 I’m always busy, David. What do you want? 00:38:41.996 --> 00:38:45.941 I… kinda got a job offer. 00:38:45.941 --> 00:38:48.738 Oh? Where? 00:38:48.738 --> 00:38:52.340 It’s um… I can’t really talk about it. 00:38:52.340 --> 00:38:54.400 But you wanna talk about it. 00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:55.202 Yeah. 00:38:55.202 --> 00:38:59.126 Is it something I wouldn’t approve of? 00:38:59.126 --> 00:39:01.149 Like, writing American history textbooks? 00:39:01.149 --> 00:39:02.658 No, it’s not that bad. 00:39:02.658 --> 00:39:04.403 But I don’t know if you’d approve. 00:39:04.403 --> 00:39:07.207 I don’t even know if I approve. 00:39:07.207 --> 00:39:12.462 Is it more ethical than selling term papers to low-income college students? 00:39:12.462 --> 00:39:15.250 Yes. I think so. 00:39:15.250 --> 00:39:17.268 Does it pay well? 00:39:17.268 --> 00:39:20.564 No, not really? Yes and no? 00:39:20.564 --> 00:39:21.943 So it doesn’t pay. 00:39:21.943 --> 00:39:23.832 Not money. 00:39:23.832 --> 00:39:25.728 So it’s an internship? 00:39:25.728 --> 00:39:27.717 Not exactly. 00:39:27.717 --> 00:39:30.349 So is it a writing job? 00:39:30.349 --> 00:39:34.433 No. But if I do well, they’ll let me rewrite some stuff. 00:39:34.433 --> 00:39:37.232 So it’s a stepping stone. 00:39:37.232 --> 00:39:40.133 Yeah, it’s definitely a step. 00:39:40.133 --> 00:39:44.595 But you’re not sure if it’s a step in the right direction? 00:39:44.595 --> 00:39:47.786 Yeah, yeah, that’s it. 00:39:47.786 --> 00:39:50.043 Why do you feel that way? 00:39:50.043 --> 00:39:53.666 It feels like I’m moving backwards. 00:39:53.666 --> 00:39:57.616 Like I’m doing something I’ve already done before. 00:39:57.616 --> 00:39:59.287 Are you going back to Pizza Pagoda? 00:39:59.287 --> 00:40:00.108 No. 00:40:00.108 --> 00:40:02.709 Because I heard they unionized the kitchen there. 00:40:02.709 --> 00:40:04.347 They get dental now. 00:40:04.347 --> 00:40:07.921 They do?! I mean, uh - I’m not going back to Pizza Pagoda. 00:40:07.921 --> 00:40:13.163 I just… I need to find something else, and this thing just kinda presented itself. 00:40:13.163 --> 00:40:16.681 Well, don’t just take it because it’s the first thing that came along. 00:40:16.681 --> 00:40:20.237 Look what happened to that guy that married Michelle Williams. 00:40:20.237 --> 00:40:23.304 Well, I can’t just stay at the center. It’s a dead end. 00:40:23.304 --> 00:40:28.759 Why do you have to move backwards, whatever that means? 00:40:28.759 --> 00:40:33.102 I don’t know. It’s better than staying stuck in the same spot. 00:40:33.102 --> 00:40:35.330 Do you remember Lenna? 00:40:35.330 --> 00:40:37.704 Yeah. Why? 00:40:37.704 --> 00:40:45.678 They uh, they run a journalism site now. Well, a music journalism site. 00:40:45.678 --> 00:40:49.882 Yeah, they used to run a blog. Uh, Listening with Len? 00:40:49.882 --> 00:40:51.546 They changed the name. 00:40:51.546 --> 00:40:53.161 Oh, thank God. 00:40:53.161 --> 00:40:56.329 Anyway, they’re getting like, solid traction on readership 00:40:56.329 --> 00:40:58.947 and they’re looking to hire writers. 00:40:58.947 --> 00:41:02.669 Oh, I wouldn’t wanna do that. 00:41:02.669 --> 00:41:05.517 Why not? You two worked together. 00:41:05.517 --> 00:41:08.200 Yeah, that’s the problem. They’ve seen me at work. 00:41:08.200 --> 00:41:13.771 Well, writing is different from tutoring. Do they think you’re a good writer? 00:41:13.771 --> 00:41:14.928 I don’t know. 00:41:14.928 --> 00:41:17.562 Well, you should submit and find out. 00:41:17.562 --> 00:41:19.440 Music journalism? 00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:20.672 You like music. 00:41:20.672 --> 00:41:24.960 Everyone likes music. That doesn’t mean everyone should write about it. 00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:25.698 Have you ever read Pitchfork ? 00:41:25.698 --> 00:41:27.726 Well, you wanted something different. 00:41:27.726 --> 00:41:29.970 Well, it’s not the kind of writing I wanna do. 00:41:29.970 --> 00:41:32.940 Nobody starts out writing what they wanna write. 00:41:32.940 --> 00:41:36.260 Hemingway started out as a journalist. 00:41:36.260 --> 00:41:39.379 Yeah, and he ended in pieces on the kitchen floor. 00:41:39.379 --> 00:41:42.194 Yeah, but that’s was because he was a novelist. 00:41:42.194 --> 00:41:46.639 Look, I’m not saying take the job or I’ll disown you. 00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:48.348 But it’s an alternative. 00:41:48.348 --> 00:41:50.882 You shouldn’t have to move backwards to move forward. 00:41:50.882 --> 00:41:55.812 Sometimes you can move sideways. 00:41:55.812 --> 00:41:59.984 Okay, I’ll think about it. Thank you. 00:41:59.984 --> 00:42:02.516 Yeah, no problem. 00:42:08.899 --> 00:42:10.699 Ask me how I’m doing. 00:42:10.699 --> 00:42:12.463 Sorry. How are you? 00:42:12.463 --> 00:42:14.537 Still shitty. 00:42:14.537 --> 00:42:17.712 I, uh, I’m starting to plan. 00:42:17.712 --> 00:42:19.499 Plan? 00:42:19.499 --> 00:42:20.886 Yeah, for Phil. 00:42:20.886 --> 00:42:23.733 What? Like, getting toxins that won’t show up on autopsy? 00:42:23.733 --> 00:42:29.779 No, just making sure there’s enough money. Just in case. 00:42:29.779 --> 00:42:32.240 Is it really that bad? 00:42:32.240 --> 00:42:38.714 Yeah. He's coughing up more red, which is better than purple, but still not good. 00:42:38.714 --> 00:42:41.533 And he’s having more accidents. 00:42:41.533 --> 00:42:44.433 I just feel like something bad's gonna happen one day 00:42:44.433 --> 00:42:46.120 and everything's gonna go downhill from there. 00:42:46.120 --> 00:42:47.711 You’re gonna push him down a hill? 00:42:47.711 --> 00:42:56.863 Can you be serious? Look, I think you need to talk to him. 00:42:56.863 --> 00:43:00.890 About what? Like finding underwear that doesn’t stain? 00:43:00.890 --> 00:43:04.426 I don’t know. Anything you need to tell him. 00:43:04.426 --> 00:43:06.622 I don’t think I have anything to say to him. 00:43:06.622 --> 00:43:09.544 Well, you don't know that until you see him. 00:43:09.544 --> 00:43:12.670 When was the last time you were even here? 00:43:12.670 --> 00:43:16.207 Uh… maybe like Feb...? 00:43:16.207 --> 00:43:17.710 Feb? 00:43:17.710 --> 00:43:19.584 Yeah, definitely Feb. 00:43:19.584 --> 00:43:23.390 Uh-huh. Feb of which year? 00:43:23.390 --> 00:43:24.989 Okay, it’s been a while. 00:43:24.989 --> 00:43:28.410 Well, he can't go and see you, so… 00:43:28.410 --> 00:43:36.601 Look, if I set up a chat between you two, would you talk to him? 00:43:36.601 --> 00:43:39.625 Maybe convince him to see a doctor? 00:43:39.625 --> 00:43:41.208 He’s not gonna listen to me. 00:43:41.208 --> 00:43:44.182 Well, he’s not listening to me. And I’m the one that makes sense. 00:43:44.182 --> 00:43:47.137 That’s because he only understands sarcasm. 00:43:47.137 --> 00:43:52.200 Exactly. You speak the same language. 00:43:52.200 --> 00:44:00.527 Look, you’re not giving him his last rites. Just think about it, please? 00:44:00.527 --> 00:44:03.470 You’re giving me a lot to think about. 00:44:03.470 --> 00:44:06.250 I know. This must be so hard for you. 00:44:06.250 --> 00:44:10.665 Oh, I have something to share with you. 00:44:10.665 --> 00:44:13.231 Is it a DoorDash coupon? 00:44:13.231 --> 00:44:19.713 No. So I was going through the photos in the attic. 00:44:19.713 --> 00:44:23.460 'Cause I figured I should have some ready. 00:44:23.460 --> 00:44:29.839 And I found this. Uh, I’ll just send it to you. 00:44:29.839 --> 00:44:30.839 (A phone beep) 00:44:36.829 --> 00:44:40.550 Huh. I thought he got rid of them. 00:44:40.550 --> 00:44:43.758 I thought so too. At first I didn’t know who it was. 00:44:43.758 --> 00:44:47.950 Are we sure it’s her? 00:44:47.950 --> 00:44:49.113 Who else would it be? 00:44:49.113 --> 00:44:51.110 I don’t know. Maybe we should ask him. 00:44:51.110 --> 00:44:53.170 Maybe you should ask him. 00:44:53.170 --> 00:44:57.775 “Hey, haven’t seen you in two plus years. Also, who is this bitch?!” 00:44:57.775 --> 00:45:01.702 I dunno, she looks... different. 00:45:01.702 --> 00:45:07.300 She’s probably around our age here. Probably when they started dating. 00:45:07.300 --> 00:45:11.780 Huh. If I looked like that, I’d leave him too. 00:45:11.780 --> 00:45:12.623 She didn’t leave him. 00:45:12.623 --> 00:45:14.203 Not the way he tells it. 00:45:14.203 --> 00:45:18.405 He tells so many stories about it, I don’t even know what to believe anymore. 00:45:18.405 --> 00:45:20.180 Maybe she’s still here. 00:45:20.180 --> 00:45:23.136 We just can’t see her because we’re blinded by all the lies. 00:45:23.136 --> 00:45:29.370 You get so used to being lied to that you stop believing in the truth. 00:45:29.370 --> 00:45:32.539 That sounds like a really sad Panic! At the Disco song. 00:45:32.539 --> 00:45:35.272 They’re all sad now. 00:45:36.127 --> 00:45:37.847 (A phone ringtone) 00:45:37.847 --> 00:45:40.209 Oh, shit, it’s George. 00:45:40.209 --> 00:45:42.109 Speak of the devil. 00:45:42.109 --> 00:45:45.511 “I heard you were talking about other writing opportunities, David. 00:45:45.511 --> 00:45:48.542 The only thing you’ll be writing is your own obituary.” 00:45:48.542 --> 00:45:50.508 Oh, shit. I gotta take this. 00:45:50.508 --> 00:45:53.210 He’s probably pissed off his kids or something. 00:45:53.210 --> 00:45:56.751 Yeah, no problem. Bye! 00:45:56.751 --> 00:46:00.761 Don’t rob your students of a valuable learning experience! 00:46:00.761 --> 00:46:04.929 No. Bye. 00:46:04.929 --> 00:46:07.300 Hey, George. How’re the kids? 00:46:07.300 --> 00:46:12.993 I don’t have - listen David, you’re gonna love this. 00:46:12.993 --> 00:46:16.395 I just got off the phone with a student asking for a refund. 00:46:16.395 --> 00:46:21.943 Get this. They said, and I quote, “My tutor didn’t deliver.” 00:46:21.943 --> 00:46:25.570 Ooh, “deliver.” Someone’s been hitting Dictionary.com. 00:46:25.570 --> 00:46:29.590 Right? So I tell him what we always tell ‘em. 00:46:29.590 --> 00:46:30.212 What’d you tell him? 00:46:30.212 --> 00:46:35.470 I told him to go take a hike in the Black Hills Forest. 00:46:35.470 --> 00:46:38.532 He might be a little too young to understand that one. 00:46:38.532 --> 00:46:43.146 I know. That’s how I get away with it. 00:46:43.146 --> 00:46:44.282 But seriously. 00:46:44.282 --> 00:46:50.955 I told them you tried your best and it just, you know, probably wasn’t a good fit. 00:46:50.955 --> 00:46:56.736 I told they could try another tutor but they insist - they insist - on a refund. 00:46:56.736 --> 00:47:01.758 So what do I do in this situation? 00:47:01.758 --> 00:47:04.984 Tell them we have a no refund policy and we’ll see them in court. 00:47:04.984 --> 00:47:09.214 That’s the thing. We don’t have a no refund policy. 00:47:09.214 --> 00:47:10.407 We don’t? 00:47:10.407 --> 00:47:14.006 No. I have a no refund policy. 00:47:14.006 --> 00:47:16.281 What’s your policy, David? 00:47:16.281 --> 00:47:19.889 My policy is the same as yours, George 00:47:19.889 --> 00:47:24.742 Right. Your policy is the same as mine because you work for me. 00:47:24.742 --> 00:47:30.967 You provide services which are guaranteed through my business establishment. 00:47:30.967 --> 00:47:35.199 Right. So we have the same policy. 00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:40.525 So what’s your policy when an employee violates the policy? 00:47:42.385 --> 00:47:45.261 Uh, what? 00:47:45.261 --> 00:47:52.321 What’s your policy when an employee violates the policy? 00:47:52.321 --> 00:47:53.143 We - uh - 00:47:53.143 --> 00:47:57.642 Not “we.” We don’t share policies. 00:47:57.642 --> 00:48:01.456 I have my policy, and you have your policy. 00:48:01.456 --> 00:48:07.843 They may be the exact same policy, but they’re separate policies nonetheless. 00:48:07.843 --> 00:48:14.803 Now, I know what my policy is, but I want to see your policy. 00:48:14.803 --> 00:48:21.325 So what is your policy when an employee violates the policy? 00:48:21.325 --> 00:48:26.921 Uh, George, are you… accusing me of something? 00:48:26.921 --> 00:48:29.982 I’m just asking you what your policy is. 00:48:29.982 --> 00:48:33.631 But I don’t think you can tell me what your policy is, 00:48:33.631 --> 00:48:36.210 because I don’t think you actually have one. 00:48:36.210 --> 00:48:38.654 Well, you said your policy was the same as mine. 00:48:38.654 --> 00:48:44.520 And last time I checked, I have a strict academic integrity policy. 00:48:44.520 --> 00:48:45.501 Remember what that means? 00:48:45.501 --> 00:48:49.131 Uh, yeah. 00:48:49.131 --> 00:48:52.226 What does it mean? 00:48:52.226 --> 00:48:55.365 It means we don’t write papers for our students. 00:48:55.365 --> 00:48:59.568 And did you break that rule? 00:48:59.568 --> 00:49:01.673 Go ahead, spin me a yarn. 00:49:01.673 --> 00:49:05.453 Dig yourself a bigger pit to fall into. 00:49:05.453 --> 00:49:11.521 No, you’re right, George. I broke the rules. 00:49:11.521 --> 00:49:15.731 I know. But I want to hear it from you. 00:49:18.154 --> 00:49:25.611 Um, the student didn’t understand the work, I was frustrated. 00:49:25.611 --> 00:49:28.210 I saw an opportunity to help us both out. 00:49:28.210 --> 00:49:32.493 So I offered to write the paper, but I didn’t even follow through with it. 00:49:32.493 --> 00:49:35.108 I was gonna give the money back, but… 00:49:35.108 --> 00:49:40.329 I needed the money to get my Wi-Fi fixed like you asked. 00:49:40.329 --> 00:49:44.450 So I figured I’d just pay the student back next week. 00:49:44.450 --> 00:49:49.463 I didn’t think they’d call you. 00:49:49.463 --> 00:49:51.920 I’m sorry, George. 00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:56.228 I… I took the easy way out. 00:49:56.228 --> 00:50:00.508 Okay. I understand why you did what you did. 00:50:00.508 --> 00:50:03.421 It was a moment of weakness. 00:50:03.421 --> 00:50:05.100 We’ve all had them. 00:50:05.100 --> 00:50:09.627 You see, my wife and I were having trouble last year - 00:50:09.627 --> 00:50:10.547 You have a wife? 00:50:10.547 --> 00:50:14.540 Yes! How - never mind. 00:50:14.540 --> 00:50:16.623 I’m giving you a second chance. 00:50:16.623 --> 00:50:17.863 Really? 00:50:17.863 --> 00:50:20.137 Of course. Don’t you remember today’s word? 00:50:20.137 --> 00:50:32.356 LEARNING: Lamentable Emasculations Assist Redemption, Newfound Initiative, and Natural Growth. 00:50:32.356 --> 00:50:36.821 Oh, yeah, I totally forgot to check the website this morning. 00:50:36.821 --> 00:50:40.992 Well, thank you, George. I won’t let you down. 00:50:40.992 --> 00:50:47.264 I know you won’t. But I wanna keep this between us, alright? 00:50:47.264 --> 00:50:49.485 I don’t need this kind of thing getting out. 00:50:49.485 --> 00:50:52.937 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. 00:50:52.937 --> 00:50:58.611 And George, I promise, what happened with Louie will never happen again. 00:50:58.611 --> 00:51:02.289 Louie? The student’s name was Ramjeet. 00:51:04.209 --> 00:51:06.583 I’ll do it. 00:51:06.583 --> 00:51:07.954 You will? 00:51:07.954 --> 00:51:11.621 I’m broke, my father might be dying, and I just got lost my job. 00:51:11.621 --> 00:51:12.937 I'm all the way in. 00:51:12.937 --> 00:51:14.709 You got fired from the tutoring center? 00:51:14.709 --> 00:51:16.143 I remember that. Good times. 00:51:16.143 --> 00:51:17.638 Did you forget about Ramjeet? 00:51:17.638 --> 00:51:19.650 I forgot about Ramjeet. 00:51:19.650 --> 00:51:20.586 Never forget about Ramjeet. 00:51:20.586 --> 00:51:22.352 You could’ve warned me about that, you know. 00:51:22.352 --> 00:51:24.528 I don’t know everything about this timeline. 00:51:24.528 --> 00:51:27.788 Besides, you’re here, so it worked out for the both of us. 00:51:27.788 --> 00:51:29.690 I thought you might not show up. 00:51:29.690 --> 00:51:31.168 Well, I showed up. 00:51:31.168 --> 00:51:32.474 Where do we start? 00:51:32.474 --> 00:51:35.508 I’ll tell you what we know about the killer, which isn't much. 00:51:35.508 --> 00:51:37.635 First thing is the psych profile. 00:51:37.635 --> 00:51:41.263 It’s short, obviously, because there isn't a lot of information available 00:51:41.263 --> 00:51:43.341 on how time travel affects the brain. 00:51:43.341 --> 00:51:46.251 I mean, I don’t even know what I’d do with a psych profile, 00:51:46.251 --> 00:51:49.309 but, sure, tell me what you know. 00:51:49.309 --> 00:51:51.300 Well, he’s a narcissist. 00:51:51.300 --> 00:51:54.467 Delusions of grandeur; he likes to literally cause history. 00:51:54.467 --> 00:51:56.711 He’s a people pleaser and an exhibitionist. 00:51:56.711 --> 00:51:59.910 Posts videos of his crimes; he likes people to know what he’s doing, 00:51:59.910 --> 00:52:01.787 especially when he knows he’s doing a good job. 00:52:01.787 --> 00:52:04.783 Probably also doesn’t like it when people know he’s doing a bad job. 00:52:04.783 --> 00:52:09.520 He doesn’t show videos of failed kills. Most likely middle or lower-class. 00:52:09.520 --> 00:52:15.149 Low power physically, emotionally, economically, socially. Shit job. 00:52:15.149 --> 00:52:17.552 Probably had issues with his parents, if they were around. 00:52:17.552 --> 00:52:21.096 Failed to live up to everyone’s expectations, including his own. 00:52:21.096 --> 00:52:24.707 If he had siblings, probably felt inferior to them. 00:52:24.707 --> 00:52:26.230 Doesn’t have a lot of friends. 00:52:26.230 --> 00:52:30.848 The few he does are probably through the Internet. Single. Virgin. 00:52:30.848 --> 00:52:32.810 That’s all I got. 00:52:35.060 --> 00:52:38.958 So… he’s a libertarian. 00:52:38.958 --> 00:52:42.523 Second thing we know, which will probably be even less useful, is his name. 00:52:42.523 --> 00:52:44.305 We have his name? 00:52:44.305 --> 00:52:46.993 Not his real name, but what we called him at the Agency. 00:52:46.993 --> 00:52:49.101 Promise not to laugh. 00:52:49.101 --> 00:52:50.947 I won’t. 00:52:50.947 --> 00:52:52.868 We call him “the Fizzle Killer.” 00:52:52.868 --> 00:52:59.996 “The Fizzle Killer”? Why? 00:52:59.996 --> 00:53:04.396 His videos and profiles referred to him as “Fizzle,” 00:53:04.396 --> 00:53:06.638 Why not call him “the Time Killer”? 00:53:06.638 --> 00:53:09.951 Like “time travel”, we can’t use that name for copyright reasons. 00:53:09.951 --> 00:53:12.207 There’s a company that produces laser watches, 00:53:12.207 --> 00:53:17.620 which are exactly as cool as they sound - and they beat us to the name. 00:53:17.620 --> 00:53:18.897 So, he’s the Fizzle Killer. 00:53:18.897 --> 00:53:20.431 Get your laughs in now. 00:53:20.431 --> 00:53:21.754 Heinlein. 00:53:21.754 --> 00:53:23.925 Was that a laugh in German? 00:53:23.925 --> 00:53:25.607 No, Heinlein. Robert Heinlein. 00:53:25.607 --> 00:53:27.205 He was a science-fiction writer. 00:53:27.205 --> 00:53:28.858 You think he’s the Fizzle Killer? 00:53:28.858 --> 00:53:29.817 No. He’s dead. 00:53:29.817 --> 00:53:31.710 And you think the Fizzle Killer killed him? 00:53:31.710 --> 00:53:33.345 No. You’ve never heard of him? 00:53:33.345 --> 00:53:36.730 No. Why would I read science-fiction? I’m living it. 00:53:36.730 --> 00:53:40.816 Robert Heinlein has a story called “-All You Zombies-.” 00:53:40.816 --> 00:53:42.550 It’s about time travel. 00:53:42.550 --> 00:53:44.730 The narrator talks about something called a Fizzle War. 00:53:44.730 --> 00:53:47.140 You think there’s a clue hidden in the story? 00:53:47.140 --> 00:53:50.572 No, that is the clue. This guy’s a fucking sci-fi nerd. 00:53:50.572 --> 00:53:53.931 That would fit our profile. Huh. 00:53:53.931 --> 00:53:57.096 We had a whole unit of Agents on this case. 00:53:57.096 --> 00:53:59.871 We thought his name was just some stupid Readdat handle. 00:53:59.871 --> 00:54:00.655 Readdat? 00:54:00.655 --> 00:54:03.812 Readdat? You guys don’t have Readdat? It’s a fivum. 00:54:03.812 --> 00:54:04.772 A what? 00:54:04.772 --> 00:54:09.158 A fivum. It's a website where you share opinions and stuff. 00:54:09.158 --> 00:54:11.310 Oh, a forum. 00:54:11.310 --> 00:54:13.208 Why would you call it a forum? 00:54:13.208 --> 00:54:15.496 I don’t know. Why would you call it a fivum? 00:54:15.496 --> 00:54:18.441 Because five is better than four. Obviously. 00:54:18.441 --> 00:54:21.174 Dude, you’re one of the smarter Davids I’ve met but God, 00:54:21.174 --> 00:54:23.355 you live in a stupid ass timeline. 00:54:23.355 --> 00:54:25.318 No arguments there. 00:54:25.318 --> 00:54:28.876 This is a great clue though. He’s a sci-fi nerd. Of course. 00:54:28.876 --> 00:54:31.265 Well, I do have something else for you. 00:54:31.265 --> 00:54:34.444 I’m gonna send it across the sixth dimensional plane in a second, 00:54:34.444 --> 00:54:36.902 I just gotta get the formatting right. 00:54:36.902 --> 00:54:38.284 Do you guys have Pedia Files? 00:54:38.284 --> 00:54:41.661 Uh. You mean PDF files? 00:54:41.661 --> 00:54:43.745 Yeah, what did I say? 00:54:47.738 --> 00:54:50.253 I’m fucking with you. I’m fucking with you. 00:54:50.253 --> 00:54:51.649 I’m sending it over now. 00:54:51.649 --> 00:54:57.530 I’m sorry. Give it a second. Check your email. 00:54:57.801 --> 00:54:59.810 (Beep) 00:55:01.100 --> 00:55:02.194 Really? 00:55:02.194 --> 00:55:03.934 Aw, I thought you’d laugh at that. 00:55:03.934 --> 00:55:07.393 You don’t think it’s a little dangerous to send me something that says that? 00:55:07.393 --> 00:55:12.794 Oh come on. It’s not like the NSA is reading your emails. 00:55:12.794 --> 00:55:16.216 Wait, do they actually do that here? 00:55:16.216 --> 00:55:18.692 Why do I objectively live in the worst timeline? 00:55:18.692 --> 00:55:21.308 Anyway, take a look at this. 00:55:21.308 --> 00:55:23.873 It’s a collection of the videos that the killer posted on TubeYou. 00:55:23.873 --> 00:55:26.259 I told you I don’t wanna look at those. 00:55:26.259 --> 00:55:29.416 Dude, we’re catching a murderer, not watching CBS. 00:55:29.416 --> 00:55:31.804 Besides, you read detective stories. 00:55:31.804 --> 00:55:34.918 Reading about murder and watching it are two different things. 00:55:34.918 --> 00:55:38.032 You’re right. Let’s wait five years for the book to come out. 00:55:38.032 --> 00:55:42.583 Maybe Truman Capote’ll rise from the dead and do all the work for us. 00:55:42.583 --> 00:55:44.722 This is a step in the right direction. 00:55:44.722 --> 00:55:47.589 But you’re gonna have to take a couple more outside your 00:55:47.589 --> 00:55:53.315 comfort zone if you wanna get where you're going. 00:56:33.722 --> 00:56:37.555 (A phone ringtone) 00:56:37.555 --> 00:56:38.769 (Amy) David 00:56:38.769 --> 00:56:41.593 Hey, what’s up? Is Phil okay? 00:56:41.593 --> 00:56:43.428 Yeah, he’s fine. Are you alright? 00:56:43.428 --> 00:56:45.188 You mean in a cosmic sense? 00:56:45.188 --> 00:56:47.222 No, I mean did you get fired? 00:56:47.222 --> 00:56:49.211 Who told you that? 00:56:49.211 --> 00:56:54.302 Lenna. They said you got fired two days ago. 00:56:54.302 --> 00:56:56.411 Why would Lenna know that? 00:56:56.411 --> 00:56:59.149 Because they talked to George. 00:56:59.149 --> 00:57:02.452 Who the fuck talks to their ex-boss three years after they quit? 00:57:04.912 --> 00:57:06.726 You submitted my resume. 00:57:06.726 --> 00:57:08.491 Well, you weren’t going to do it. 00:57:08.491 --> 00:57:10.313 I told you I’d think about it. 00:57:10.313 --> 00:57:12.040 Yeah, that’s how I knew you wouldn’t. 00:57:12.040 --> 00:57:13.581 You don’t “think.” 00:57:13.581 --> 00:57:16.509 If you did, you would’ve stopped selling papers like I told you to. 00:57:16.509 --> 00:57:18.890 David, what are you gonna do? 00:57:18.890 --> 00:57:20.753 You just threw away a job you had for three years. 00:57:20.753 --> 00:57:22.760 And now you can’t even use George as a reference because 00:57:22.760 --> 00:57:24.612 he’s just gonna tell people you were selling so many 00:57:24.612 --> 00:57:27.200 papers you couldn’t keep track of who you were selling them to. 00:57:27.200 --> 00:57:28.478 I don’t need a reference. 00:57:28.478 --> 00:57:30.159 I already got a new position. 00:57:30.159 --> 00:57:31.824 Wha - How? 00:57:31.824 --> 00:57:34.227 Is this the thing you were talking about last time? 00:57:34.227 --> 00:57:35.713 Yeah. I got the job. 00:57:35.713 --> 00:57:37.405 I thought it wasn’t a job. 00:57:37.405 --> 00:57:40.290 It’s not. It - whatever it is, I have it. 00:57:40.290 --> 00:57:41.805 Okay? You don’t need to worry. 00:57:41.805 --> 00:57:42.730 Does it pay? 00:57:42.730 --> 00:57:43.548 It will. 00:57:43.548 --> 00:57:44.768 But not right now. 00:57:44.768 --> 00:57:45.811 But it will. 00:57:45.811 --> 00:57:47.513 I don’t want you to get evicted. 00:57:47.513 --> 00:57:48.733 I’m not gonna get evicted. 00:57:48.733 --> 00:57:50.161 Annie’s not gonna throw me out. 00:57:50.161 --> 00:57:52.437 (Annie) Yes I will! 00:57:52.437 --> 00:57:54.199 Love you too! 00:57:54.199 --> 00:57:55.658 (Annie) Fuck off. 00:57:55.658 --> 00:57:56.795 David. 00:57:56.795 --> 00:57:59.817 She’s not. She’s just gonna rant about me on Tumblr. 00:57:59.817 --> 00:58:04.283 And in real life. Look, I’m sorry you had to find out from Lenna that I got fired. 00:58:04.283 --> 00:58:07.799 I was gonna tell you, but I already got so much work to do. 00:58:07.799 --> 00:58:10.610 What are you even doing? 00:58:10.610 --> 00:58:16.978 It's, uh, I’m assisting on a case. 00:58:16.978 --> 00:58:19.648 “A case?” What did you do? 00:58:19.648 --> 00:58:21.120 I didn’t do anything. 00:58:21.120 --> 00:58:23.130 Are you a police informant? 00:58:23.130 --> 00:58:24.890 You know I don’t like police. 00:58:24.890 --> 00:58:28.440 No, it’s with a… private investigator. 00:58:28.440 --> 00:58:31.504 He’s looking into some cold cases and he needs help. 00:58:31.504 --> 00:58:35.046 “Cold cases?” Like, murders? 00:58:36.816 --> 00:58:38.588 Uh, yeah. 00:58:38.588 --> 00:58:43.589 Oh my God. Does he make you look at photos? Does he? 00:58:43.589 --> 00:58:51.290 No, not… yet at least. It’s like clerical work. 00:58:51.290 --> 00:58:56.394 Why would they hire someone like you for a job like that? No offense. 00:58:56.394 --> 00:59:01.508 I don’t know, I guess he… sees himself in me or something. I dunno. 00:59:01.508 --> 00:59:04.868 Or maybe he wanted to hire someone he could get away with not paying? 00:59:04.868 --> 00:59:08.960 It’s not that he doesn’t want to pay me, it’s that he needs to find the guy 00:59:08.960 --> 00:59:10.854 he’s looking for before he can pay me. 00:59:10.854 --> 00:59:13.580 So it’s contingent on whether you solve the case? 00:59:13.580 --> 00:59:15.070 How long is that gonna take? 00:59:15.070 --> 00:59:19.155 I don’t know. Look, it’s an interesting job. I can use it for my writing. 00:59:19.155 --> 00:59:23.298 I don’t want you to spend another three years working a job just for it to go nowhere again. 00:59:23.298 --> 00:59:27.652 I’m not going to. I was stuck at the center, you know that. 00:59:27.652 --> 00:59:30.372 I’m glad I got fired. 00:59:30.372 --> 00:59:32.701 Amy, this is a good thing. 00:59:32.701 --> 00:59:34.569 You said to move sideways. 00:59:34.569 --> 00:59:36.425 This is a sideways move. 00:59:38.108 --> 00:59:40.514 At least you’re taking my advice for once. 00:59:40.514 --> 00:59:42.853 Yeah, I’m the only one in this family who does. 00:59:42.853 --> 00:59:44.605 You should be grateful. 00:59:44.605 --> 00:59:46.839 Don’t push it. 00:59:46.839 --> 00:59:49.505 We need to do something about him. 00:59:49.505 --> 00:59:51.500 Do we have to? 00:59:51.500 --> 00:59:53.406 Well, if you don’t say anything to him soon, 00:59:53.406 --> 00:59:56.433 we won’t have to because he's just gonna be dead. 00:59:56.433 --> 01:00:00.192 Uh, okay, what's wrong with him? 01:00:00.192 --> 01:00:03.985 He’s coughing up purple again, but now it’s like, flakes? 01:00:03.985 --> 01:00:06.961 It’s like lilac petals that smell like stomach acid. 01:00:06.961 --> 01:00:10.698 Can you just please talk to him? 01:00:10.698 --> 01:00:12.755 What would I even say to him? 01:00:12.755 --> 01:00:16.540 Tell him he’s a stubborn, cantankerous wiseass and if he doesn’t admit 01:00:16.540 --> 01:00:19.346 that there’s something wrong with him, he's gonna die. 01:00:19.346 --> 01:00:21.797 Why don’t you tell him he’s a stubborn, cantankerous wiseass? 01:00:21.797 --> 01:00:24.966 I can’t do that! He thinks I’m the good one. 01:00:24.966 --> 01:00:28.473 David… don’t get stuck in the past. 01:00:28.473 --> 01:00:30.821 You saw what it did to him. 01:00:30.821 --> 01:00:33.316 He spent the last twenty years trying to forget what happened 01:00:33.316 --> 01:00:35.452 and everyone else moved on. 01:00:35.452 --> 01:00:37.309 Time didn’t wait for him to catch up. 01:00:37.309 --> 01:00:41.388 Now he’s alone. 01:00:41.388 --> 01:00:43.175 I don’t want that to happen to us. 01:00:43.175 --> 01:00:44.420 It won’t. 01:00:44.420 --> 01:00:48.156 So just talk to him for yourself. 01:00:48.156 --> 01:00:50.983 Just to move on from it. 01:00:50.983 --> 01:00:54.378 If he can’t do it, or won’t do it, that’s on him. 01:00:54.378 --> 01:00:59.207 At least you won’t have to wonder if you could have saved him or not. 01:01:02.854 --> 01:01:06.599 Okay, I’ll talk to him, but ask him first. 01:01:06.599 --> 01:01:09.989 I’m don't wanna force him to listen to me lecture him if he doesn’t want to. 01:01:09.989 --> 01:01:11.123 Okay. 01:01:11.123 --> 01:01:13.888 And just tell him I wanted to talk. 01:01:13.888 --> 01:01:16.528 Don’t tell him this is an intervention or whatever. 01:01:16.528 --> 01:01:17.787 Yeah, of course. 01:01:17.787 --> 01:01:19.986 And I can’t guarantee results. 01:01:19.986 --> 01:01:24.262 I would not expect you to. Thank you. 01:01:24.262 --> 01:01:26.174 Don’t thank me yet; 01:01:26.174 --> 01:01:29.507 I still have to actually follow through with it. 01:01:29.507 --> 01:01:32.910 Look, I should probably get back to work. 01:01:32.910 --> 01:01:34.254 I have to look at metadata. 01:01:34.254 --> 01:01:35.638 “Metadata”? 01:01:35.638 --> 01:01:36.833 Metadata. 01:01:36.833 --> 01:01:40.533 It’s like this data that gets stored on videos, 01:01:40.533 --> 01:01:43.821 like what date it was taken, what camera it was taken on, 01:01:43.821 --> 01:01:46.386 GPS coordinates if there’s a... 01:01:46.386 --> 01:01:48.711 Yeah, it’s boring, I know. 01:01:48.711 --> 01:01:52.063 Yeah, it sounds like it. 01:01:52.063 --> 01:01:55.570 Alright, I'll see you later. 01:01:55.570 --> 01:01:57.350 Bye. 01:01:57.350 --> 01:01:59.545 Metadata! 01:01:59.545 --> 01:02:01.559 Metadata! 01:02:08.840 --> 01:02:13.555 (Amy's voice, echoing) “Time didn’t wait for him to catch up.” 01:02:13.555 --> 01:02:17.675 ( A man's voice) "It's a clue dumbass" 01:02:21.669 --> 01:02:24.342 The metadata from the videos show that the killer 01:02:24.342 --> 01:02:26.160 swapped out cameras between each murder. 01:02:26.160 --> 01:02:28.129 He probably destroyed them after uploading the videos. 01:02:28.129 --> 01:02:29.557 Makes it harder to catch him. 01:02:29.557 --> 01:02:32.395 Right. But when you buy a new camera, or any new device, what happens? 01:02:32.395 --> 01:02:34.336 You… throw away the instruction manual? 01:02:34.336 --> 01:02:37.753 Yes, but, also, the device doesn’t know what time it is. 01:02:37.753 --> 01:02:39.497 Each camera has an internal clock. 01:02:39.497 --> 01:02:41.191 That’s how we get timestamps. 01:02:41.191 --> 01:02:44.180 Most people update the time settings as soon as they turn the camera on 01:02:44.180 --> 01:02:45.933 so it matches the date and time they're using it. 01:02:45.933 --> 01:02:47.314 The killer didn’t. 01:02:47.314 --> 01:02:49.651 Well, yeah. He was going into the past anyway. 01:02:49.651 --> 01:02:53.063 Right. There’s no point in changing the time setting for a camera you’re just gonna throw away. 01:02:53.063 --> 01:02:56.375 But if you don’t set it up, it retains the factory settings. 01:02:56.375 --> 01:03:00.229 So if I buy a camera today and insert the battery for the first time, 01:03:00.229 --> 01:03:04.556 the default factory setting might be January first, two-thousand twenty. 01:03:04.556 --> 01:03:10.780 But what happens if I take that camera and go back to, say, June first, two-thousand ten? 01:03:10.780 --> 01:03:13.160 The camera still thinks you’re in January of two-thousand twenty. 01:03:13.160 --> 01:03:15.619 Exactly. If you look at the recorded dates of the latest videos, 01:03:15.619 --> 01:03:18.223 most of them are from January. 01:03:18.223 --> 01:03:21.882 He didn’t spend a lot of time in the past, because they were short kills. 01:03:21.882 --> 01:03:25.321 But most of the older videos are dated a couple months later. 01:03:25.321 --> 01:03:26.997 So think about it. 01:03:26.997 --> 01:03:30.701 If I take that same camera from January twenty-twenty, 01:03:30.701 --> 01:03:35.707 and I travel to June twenty-ten and stay there for two months - 01:03:35.707 --> 01:03:38.320 The camera will say it’s March twenty-twenty. 01:03:38.320 --> 01:03:41.557 Right. Time doesn’t stop just because you’re in the past. 01:03:41.557 --> 01:03:44.610 And if it doesn’t stop for the camera - 01:03:44.610 --> 01:03:45.478 It’s not stopping for him either. 01:03:45.478 --> 01:03:47.845 So if I go to June twenty-ten and stay for two months, 01:03:47.845 --> 01:03:51.938 and then I travel back to the same moment I left in January twenty-twenty, 01:03:51.938 --> 01:03:54.122 the camera will say March twenty-twenty. 01:03:54.122 --> 01:03:57.624 So both the camera and the killer would have aged two months. 01:03:57.624 --> 01:04:00.145 But no time would have elapsed in the present. 01:04:00.145 --> 01:04:02.001 The killer can move through time, but he’s still affected by it. 01:04:02.001 --> 01:04:03.709 He’s still aging when he’s in the past. 01:04:03.709 --> 01:04:05.771 Which means he’s aging faster than people in the present. 01:04:05.771 --> 01:04:06.386 Exactly. 01:04:06.386 --> 01:04:08.797 So I worked with the assumption that the killer turned on each camera 01:04:08.797 --> 01:04:10.795 at the same time he entered the past. 01:04:10.795 --> 01:04:14.453 So, for example, if a video says it was taken on February first, 01:04:14.453 --> 01:04:17.855 that’s one month from a default factory setting of January first, 01:04:17.855 --> 01:04:20.589 so I can assume that the killer spent one month in the past. 01:04:20.589 --> 01:04:24.125 So working with that estimate, I added up the total time he’s spent in the past. 01:04:24.125 --> 01:04:25.611 How much time? 01:04:25.611 --> 01:04:26.526 Close to eight years. 01:04:26.526 --> 01:04:27.732 Holy shit. 01:04:27.732 --> 01:04:29.357 And that’s conservative. 01:04:29.357 --> 01:04:30.751 It’s hundreds of videos. 01:04:30.751 --> 01:04:34.044 Some are short because all he had to do was show up and shoot someone in the face, 01:04:34.044 --> 01:04:37.546 but others are more complicated, like poisoning or indirect causes 01:04:37.546 --> 01:04:40.248 like emotional abuse that leads to the victim committing suicide. 01:04:40.248 --> 01:04:42.399 Yeah. If he has to spend months, even years in the past, 01:04:42.399 --> 01:04:44.117 he’ll do it to make sure he gets the kill. 01:04:44.117 --> 01:04:46.623 But he’s still aging. And he’s realized this. 01:04:46.623 --> 01:04:48.777 Which is why the more recent kills are getting shorter. 01:04:48.777 --> 01:04:51.100 He needs kills to keep up with demand, 01:04:51.100 --> 01:04:52.967 but that don’t take a lot of time to accomplish, 01:04:52.967 --> 01:04:54.705 because the more time he spends in the past, 01:04:54.705 --> 01:04:56.736 the more time he loses in his actual present-day life. 01:04:56.736 --> 01:05:01.695 But you can’t just age eight years without people around you noticing. 01:05:01.695 --> 01:05:03.177 Unless you’re Toss Cruime. 01:05:03.177 --> 01:05:04.661 Who’s Toss Cruime? 01:05:04.661 --> 01:05:08.822 He’s an actor. He was in, uh… Bottom Gun, 01:05:08.822 --> 01:05:11.966 Assignment: Impractical, Strawberry Sky - 01:05:11.966 --> 01:05:14.300 Oh, Tom Cruise. 01:05:14.300 --> 01:05:16.777 Yeah, the guy who’s like sixty but looks like he’s twenty-two. 01:05:16.777 --> 01:05:18.893 Yeah, but the killer’s not Tom Cruise. 01:05:18.893 --> 01:05:21.474 Are we sure? I really want that guy to fuck up. 01:05:21.474 --> 01:05:23.729 No, the killer’s a loser. Remember the profile? 01:05:23.729 --> 01:05:24.949 He’s probably ugly. 01:05:24.949 --> 01:05:26.893 With all the money he’s made selling videos online? 01:05:26.893 --> 01:05:28.808 He could probably afford plastic surgery. 01:05:28.808 --> 01:05:30.723 So that’s where we should be looking. 01:05:30.723 --> 01:05:34.643 Plastic surgery, cases of advanced aging. 01:05:35.273 --> 01:05:38.274 I can do some digging, but we don’t know where this guy lives. 01:05:38.274 --> 01:05:40.864 I could interrogate every plastic surgeon in New York, 01:05:40.864 --> 01:05:43.879 but it wouldn’t matter if the killer lives in Banglakok. 01:05:43.879 --> 01:05:48.877 Banglakok? Never mind. I'm not gonna ask. 01:05:48.877 --> 01:05:52.501 Look, I’ll do what I can to look into the medical stuff 01:05:52.501 --> 01:05:54.956 This is progress. Good work. 01:05:54.956 --> 01:05:56.601 Don’t thank me, thank Amy. 01:05:56.601 --> 01:05:57.687 Who? 01:05:57.687 --> 01:06:01.390 My sister. She's the one who gave me the idea. 01:06:01.390 --> 01:06:02.986 Oh, right. 01:06:02.986 --> 01:06:05.186 You didn’t tell her about this, did you? 01:06:05.186 --> 01:06:07.500 No, of course not. 01:06:09.688 --> 01:06:12.468 Do you… not have an Amy in your timeline? 01:06:12.468 --> 01:06:15.015 Only child. 01:06:15.015 --> 01:06:17.847 What about parents? 01:06:19.717 --> 01:06:25.516 David, when we erase this guy - it’ll change my timeline permanently. 01:06:25.516 --> 01:06:29.575 The me you know right now isn’t going to exist. 01:06:29.575 --> 01:06:34.400 So, the less you know about me, the better. 01:06:34.400 --> 01:06:35.844 I’ll look into plastic surgeons. 01:06:35.844 --> 01:06:38.178 I’ll let you know what I find. Okay? 01:06:38.178 --> 01:06:39.777 Yeah. Okay. 01:06:39.777 --> 01:06:42.155 Good work today, David. 01:06:42.155 --> 01:06:44.690 (Static) 01:06:48.829 --> 01:06:50.470 He’s all set up in the other room. 01:06:50.470 --> 01:06:51.615 Why isn’t he downstairs? 01:06:51.615 --> 01:06:54.240 He doesn’t want me to be there. 01:06:54.240 --> 01:06:57.460 He keeps calling me NASA for some reason. 01:06:57.460 --> 01:06:58.176 NASA? 01:06:58.176 --> 01:07:02.951 Yeah, I guarantee he’s gonna say something about that to you. 01:07:02.951 --> 01:07:06.202 Anyway, upstairs is the only place where there’s any privacy. 01:07:06.202 --> 01:07:10.540 I don't let him in on our calls, so I couldn’t really argue with him. 01:07:10.540 --> 01:07:13.147 You don’t need to argue. Just threaten him with a morphine overdose. 01:07:13.147 --> 01:07:15.513 I don’t give him morphine. 01:07:15.513 --> 01:07:17.189 Good. Let him suffer. 01:07:17.189 --> 01:07:19.951 You do remember we’re trying to save him, right? 01:07:19.951 --> 01:07:22.451 I remember, I just may not commit to it. 01:07:22.451 --> 01:07:24.951 You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. 01:07:24.951 --> 01:07:27.352 I just don’t wanna go through this for nothing. 01:07:27.352 --> 01:07:29.990 Well, what’s the worst case scenario? 01:07:29.990 --> 01:07:31.937 He doesn’t listen and he dies. 01:07:31.937 --> 01:07:34.847 And what’s the best case scenario? 01:07:34.847 --> 01:07:36.865 He doesn’t listen and he dies. 01:07:36.865 --> 01:07:39.122 You’re right, good pep talk. Let’s do this. 01:07:39.122 --> 01:07:42.128 Alright, I’m abandoning you. 01:07:42.128 --> 01:07:46.418 I'll see you on the other side. 01:07:48.738 --> 01:07:51.249 (Phil) Amelia! You stay off my wall, do you hear me? 01:07:51.249 --> 01:07:52.979 I’m a grown man. 01:07:52.979 --> 01:07:54.378 Hey, Phil. 01:07:54.378 --> 01:07:56.427 Hey, Dave. You see her watchin’ me? 01:07:56.427 --> 01:07:59.510 She’s like fuckin’ NASA, spyin’ on me all the time. 01:07:59.510 --> 01:08:01.023 You mean the NSA? 01:08:01.023 --> 01:08:03.657 No. Did I say NSA? 01:08:03.657 --> 01:08:06.857 Fuckin’ NASA spyin’ on everybody. 01:08:06.857 --> 01:08:10.320 They put those fuckin’ satellites up there and they’ve been spyin’ on us ever since. 01:08:10.320 --> 01:08:13.308 SDI, Brilliant Pebbles, all that bullshit. 01:08:13.308 --> 01:08:14.746 “Brilliant Pebbles?” 01:08:14.746 --> 01:08:17.643 Brilliant Pebbles. You never heard ‘a’ Brilliant Pebbles? 01:08:17.643 --> 01:08:20.641 I think I had some for breakfast t his morning. 01:08:20.641 --> 01:08:22.412 Don’t get smart with me. 01:08:22.412 --> 01:08:24.542 I know where you went to school, you ain’t that smart. 01:08:24.542 --> 01:08:26.315 Brilliant Pebbles. 01:08:26.315 --> 01:08:29.289 Look it up. NASA was behind all that shit. 01:08:29.289 --> 01:08:31.529 Nobody gave a fuck about space. 01:08:31.529 --> 01:08:33.448 They just wanted to bankrupt the Soviets. 01:08:33.448 --> 01:08:34.734 It was a ruse. 01:08:34.734 --> 01:08:36.385 It was a ruse for the Russkis. 01:08:36.385 --> 01:08:37.879 You came up with that yourself? 01:08:37.879 --> 01:08:39.725 You ain’t the only one good with words. 01:08:39.725 --> 01:08:42.337 I mean the whole thing about NASA. 01:08:42.337 --> 01:08:43.520 Eh, shut up. 01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:45.883 You didn’t live through the eighties and ya don’t know nothin’ worth knowin’. 01:08:45.883 --> 01:08:48.448 Liberal arts colleges. 01:08:48.448 --> 01:08:50.508 Only thing liberal is who they let in. 01:08:50.508 --> 01:08:51.940 So how ya doin’, Dave? 01:08:51.940 --> 01:08:53.580 Amelia says you got a new gig. 01:08:53.580 --> 01:08:54.871 Yeah, I did. 01:08:54.871 --> 01:08:57.263 About time. Was startin’ to think you were gonna be a tutor forever. 01:08:57.263 --> 01:08:58.840 So where’s the new job? 01:08:58.840 --> 01:09:01.890 It’s with a detective. 01:09:01.890 --> 01:09:03.941 You’re doin’ police work? 01:09:03.941 --> 01:09:06.966 You know I don’t like the police. 01:09:06.966 --> 01:09:10.489 No, he’s a private eye. I know him from around. 01:09:10.489 --> 01:09:11.522 That can’t be safe. 01:09:11.522 --> 01:09:13.463 You never know what those people get wrapped up in. 01:09:13.463 --> 01:09:14.858 Murders, affairs. 01:09:14.858 --> 01:09:18.422 Sometimes they watch people a little too closely, you know what I mean. 01:09:18.422 --> 01:09:22.511 But I guess you know about all that from reading those detective novels. 01:09:22.511 --> 01:09:24.782 You still doin’ that or what? 01:09:24.782 --> 01:09:26.593 Am I still reading? 01:09:26.593 --> 01:09:28.206 Nah, writin’. You still writin’? 01:09:28.206 --> 01:09:30.372 Yeah, when I got time. 01:09:30.372 --> 01:09:31.756 Any luck? 01:09:31.756 --> 01:09:34.704 mmm, No. 01:09:34.704 --> 01:09:36.833 Eh, it’s a rough business. Hard to stick out. 01:09:36.833 --> 01:09:40.143 It’s not that. I haven’t really been submitting lately. 01:09:40.143 --> 01:09:42.568 Well, you gotta follow through with these things. 01:09:42.568 --> 01:09:44.873 You know, work's just been kind of busy. 01:09:44.873 --> 01:09:47.350 How much are you workin’? 01:09:47.350 --> 01:09:48.440 Are they even payin’ you over there? 01:09:48.440 --> 01:09:49.810 Didn’t Amy tell you about it? 01:09:49.810 --> 01:09:51.782 She doesn’t tell me anything. She’s just like her mother. 01:09:51.782 --> 01:09:53.994 Are they payin’ you or what? 01:09:53.994 --> 01:09:55.277 What does it matter? 01:09:55.277 --> 01:09:57.420 I just wanna make sure you’re not gettin’ duped. 01:09:57.420 --> 01:09:58.862 I can make sure I’m not getting duped. 01:09:58.862 --> 01:10:00.630 I’m not a child, Phil. 01:10:00.630 --> 01:10:02.740 I didn’t say you were. 01:10:02.740 --> 01:10:05.338 Look, you wanna talk about somethin’ else? 01:10:05.338 --> 01:10:07.448 Sure. How are you? 01:10:07.448 --> 01:10:09.134 How am I? 01:10:09.134 --> 01:10:11.164 I got rainbows comin’ out either end of me. 01:10:11.164 --> 01:10:13.594 I’m like a fuckin’ leprechaun. 01:10:13.594 --> 01:10:15.991 Yeah, I know, Amy told me about that. 01:10:15.991 --> 01:10:17.600 Course she told you. 01:10:17.600 --> 01:10:19.085 You think I don’t know that? 01:10:19.085 --> 01:10:22.305 I bet she asked you to talk to me about that, huh? 01:10:22.305 --> 01:10:25.120 Whaddaya know, I got some detective skills ‘a’ my own. 01:10:25.120 --> 01:10:27.287 Spill it. She set this whole thing up, right? 01:10:27.287 --> 01:10:29.709 Well, she’s worried about you. 01:10:29.709 --> 01:10:31.776 Are you worried about me? 01:10:31.776 --> 01:10:33.902 Honestly? 01:10:33.902 --> 01:10:35.496 What’d I always say to you kids? 01:10:35.496 --> 01:10:38.232 Honesty is the best policy. Be honest. 01:10:38.232 --> 01:10:40.700 You think I’m dyin’? 01:10:40.700 --> 01:10:43.274 No. I think you probably drank too much Pepto. 01:10:43.274 --> 01:10:45.547 Funny thing about Pepto. 01:10:45.547 --> 01:10:47.431 You drink too much, your shit turns black. 01:10:47.431 --> 01:10:50.819 Not pink. Pitch black. 01:10:50.819 --> 01:10:56.479 Fascinating. But I'm not a doctor so it doesn't matter what I think. 01:10:56.479 --> 01:11:00.226 You’re not a detective, either, but that didn’t stop you from working for one. 01:11:00.226 --> 01:11:02.523 I’m talking about your life here. 01:11:02.523 --> 01:11:06.537 And I’m talkin’ about your life. 01:11:06.537 --> 01:11:09.835 You might be dying. You do realize that? 01:11:09.835 --> 01:11:13.908 Everybody’s dyin’. No matter what they do, they’re dyin’. 01:11:13.908 --> 01:11:17.157 Living, though? That’s a choice. 01:11:17.157 --> 01:11:20.384 Phil, what the hell are you talking about? 01:11:20.384 --> 01:11:23.897 Look. I asked Amelia not to be in here for a reason. 01:11:23.897 --> 01:11:26.215 I know. It’s called “divide and conquer.” 01:11:26.215 --> 01:11:28.450 Do I look like I’m going to war with you? 01:11:28.450 --> 01:11:31.290 No. You look like you’ve slept through one though. 01:11:31.290 --> 01:11:33.993 You’re right, I have. I did. 01:11:33.993 --> 01:11:40.543 I… look. I know I wasn’t the best dad. 01:11:40.543 --> 01:11:42.348 “Wasn’t” implies past tense. 01:11:42.348 --> 01:11:45.710 Will you just listen to me? It was hard, okay? 01:11:45.710 --> 01:11:48.569 It was hard to be a parent. 01:11:48.569 --> 01:11:51.731 Your mother was gone, it was just me. 01:11:51.731 --> 01:11:54.916 Everybody was lettin’ cellphones raise their kids. 01:11:54.916 --> 01:11:57.201 Then the economy was shit - 01:11:57.201 --> 01:11:58.773 It’s still shit. 01:11:58.773 --> 01:12:00.832 I know. You kids inherited shit. 01:12:00.832 --> 01:12:01.831 It’s always shit. 01:12:01.831 --> 01:12:03.486 Somebody always has shit going on. 01:12:03.486 --> 01:12:05.550 What’s your point, Phil? 01:12:05.550 --> 01:12:08.102 I’m just sayin’, I know it was hard for you, Dave. 01:12:08.102 --> 01:12:09.985 But it was hard for me, too. 01:12:09.985 --> 01:12:13.417 I made a lotta stupid mistakes raisin’ you guys. 01:12:13.417 --> 01:12:16.236 Kids don’t come with an instruction manual. 01:12:16.236 --> 01:12:18.465 You just figured that out? 01:12:18.465 --> 01:12:20.580 Dave, I’m tryin’ to talk to you. 01:12:20.580 --> 01:12:24.528 I don’t need life lessons from you. Okay? 01:12:24.528 --> 01:12:31.810 Okay. I’m not tellin’ you how to live your life. Just live it. 01:12:31.810 --> 01:12:36.764 Phil, can you just say what you mean for once? 01:12:36.764 --> 01:12:40.372 Your sister is worried about you. 01:12:40.372 --> 01:12:44.678 She thinks you’re havin’ some kinda… quarter-life crisis. 01:12:44.678 --> 01:12:46.472 Of course I’m having a quarter-life crisis. 01:12:46.472 --> 01:12:48.120 I don’t have a life. 01:12:48.120 --> 01:12:49.826 I have a quarter of a life. 01:12:49.826 --> 01:12:52.240 And it’s definitely a crisis. 01:12:52.240 --> 01:12:54.333 I’m tryin’ to talk to you about yourself and you’re makin’ a joke. 01:12:54.333 --> 01:12:56.761 No, I just think it’s funny it’s called a quarter-life crisis. 01:12:56.761 --> 01:12:58.965 Means I gotta deal with seventy-five more years of this shit. 01:12:58.965 --> 01:13:01.350 See, it’s stuff like that that worries us. 01:13:01.350 --> 01:13:02.803 Worries us? 01:13:02.803 --> 01:13:04.652 Well, yes. I’m worried about you too. 01:13:04.652 --> 01:13:05.552 No, you aren’t. 01:13:05.552 --> 01:13:07.464 Like I said, I know I wasn’t the best - 01:13:07.464 --> 01:13:08.779 No, shut up, Phil. 01:13:08.779 --> 01:13:09.954 Now you wanna care? 01:13:09.954 --> 01:13:11.646 My life is shit because of you. 01:13:11.646 --> 01:13:14.210 Dave, do you really believe that? 01:13:14.210 --> 01:13:17.360 Honesty is the best policy. 01:13:17.360 --> 01:13:20.350 Alright. You think I ruined your life. 01:13:20.350 --> 01:13:23.700 I can understand why you may feel that way. 01:13:23.700 --> 01:13:25.325 I don't think you can. 01:13:25.325 --> 01:13:26.504 Yes I can. 01:13:26.504 --> 01:13:27.708 When your mother left, I - 01:13:27.708 --> 01:13:28.912 Oh my God. 01:13:28.912 --> 01:13:31.162 She left because of you. 01:13:31.162 --> 01:13:33.595 I thought that for a long time too. 01:13:33.595 --> 01:13:37.114 First, I blamed her, then I blamed myself - 01:13:37.114 --> 01:13:38.989 Stop the wheel, Vanna. You got it. 01:13:38.989 --> 01:13:41.361 But I realized it was somethin’ she had to do. 01:13:41.361 --> 01:13:43.502 Yeah, to get away from you. 01:13:43.502 --> 01:13:47.492 No. She wasn’t runnin’ away, 01:13:47.492 --> 01:13:49.472 she was runnin’ toward somethin’. 01:13:49.472 --> 01:13:50.671 Somethin’ important. 01:13:50.671 --> 01:13:52.190 It was important to leave us? 01:13:52.190 --> 01:13:55.919 What was more important than us? 01:13:55.919 --> 01:13:58.704 You know, Phil, for somebody who keeps championing honesty, 01:13:58.704 --> 01:14:00.469 you’re a really bad liar, Phil. 01:14:00.469 --> 01:14:03.262 I’m not lying to you. 01:14:03.262 --> 01:14:04.771 So answer my question. 01:14:04.771 --> 01:14:05.755 I can’t. 01:14:05.755 --> 01:14:06.555 Why not? 01:14:06.555 --> 01:14:08.840 Because I don’t hate you enough to do that to you. 01:14:08.840 --> 01:14:10.173 I don’t hate you at all. 01:14:10.173 --> 01:14:12.942 I just wish you would figure that out for yourself. 01:14:12.942 --> 01:14:17.465 Look, you hate me. Fine. 01:14:17.465 --> 01:14:20.294 Your sister is worried about you. 01:14:20.294 --> 01:14:23.714 Me? You realize you’re the burden on her, right? 01:14:23.714 --> 01:14:26.769 I am? Who complains about me more? 01:14:26.769 --> 01:14:28.541 Her? Or you? 01:14:28.541 --> 01:14:31.453 You think you’re some kinda reprieve from me? 01:14:31.453 --> 01:14:32.975 You’re the one she never sees. 01:14:32.975 --> 01:14:34.998 You’re the one she worries about. 01:14:34.998 --> 01:14:39.604 Look, can you just stop making her worry so much? She’s good to you, Dave. 01:14:39.604 --> 01:14:41.288 She’s good to both of us. 01:14:41.288 --> 01:14:45.930 I’m asking you to make her life easier. 01:14:45.930 --> 01:14:46.404 Do it for her. 01:14:49.794 --> 01:14:52.852 Can we work out a trade? You go to the doctor. 01:14:52.852 --> 01:14:57.130 I’ll figure things out. Sound good? 01:14:57.130 --> 01:14:59.546 Sounds good. 01:14:59.546 --> 01:15:02.047 But do me a favor? 01:15:02.047 --> 01:15:06.131 She’s gonna wanna know, so tell her we had a good talk. 01:15:06.131 --> 01:15:08.996 I thought honesty was the best policy? 01:15:08.996 --> 01:15:10.155 How old are you? 01:15:10.155 --> 01:15:14.117 Just let her think we got along for once. 01:15:14.117 --> 01:15:16.859 Okay, fine, I'll do that. 01:15:16.859 --> 01:15:18.546 Nice doin’ business. 01:15:18.546 --> 01:15:22.625 Now put on your happy face. Amelia, we’re done! 01:15:22.625 --> 01:15:24.272 I wanna watch Hulu. 01:15:24.272 --> 01:15:25.736 (Amy) Coming! 01:15:25.736 --> 01:15:28.237 Take care, Dave. 01:15:28.237 --> 01:15:30.403 You too, Phil. 01:15:30.403 --> 01:15:33.733 (Amy) I’ll be back in a second. I just gotta put on Hulu for him. 01:15:33.733 --> 01:15:35.107 How’d it go? 01:15:35.107 --> 01:15:37.621 (Phil) At least let me get outta earshot. 01:15:37.621 --> 01:15:39.275 (Amy) He’s teasing. 01:15:39.275 --> 01:15:40.456 What do you wanna watch? 01:15:40.456 --> 01:15:41.456 (Beep) 01:15:41.456 --> 01:15:43.927 (Phil) Put on the one with the, with the family. 01:15:43.927 --> 01:15:45.572 (Amy) Arrested Development? 01:15:45.572 --> 01:15:48.242 (Phil) Yeah. 01:15:48.242 --> 01:15:49.242 (Beep) 01:15:50.452 --> 01:15:53.417 (Amy) David, I’m just gonna move this to my room. 01:15:53.417 --> 01:15:55.900 Yeah, no worries. 01:15:55.900 --> 01:16:00.203 (Amy) Dad, let me know if you need anything! 01:16:03.554 --> 01:16:05.935 Hey, how’d it go? 01:16:05.935 --> 01:16:08.200 I didn’t hear any screaming. 01:16:08.200 --> 01:16:09.859 “I don’t know why he saved my life. 01:16:09.859 --> 01:16:13.249 Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had be- ” 01:16:13.249 --> 01:16:15.760 Oh, shut up. What’d he say? 01:16:15.760 --> 01:16:16.932 He’ll do it. 01:16:16.932 --> 01:16:17.968 Really? 01:16:17.968 --> 01:16:20.858 You’re surprised I did something right for once? 01:16:20.858 --> 01:16:24.773 I’ve been telling him for two weeks and it takes you ten minutes? 01:16:24.773 --> 01:16:26.665 I think he knows he should go. 01:16:26.665 --> 01:16:28.928 He just wanted a second opinion. 01:16:28.928 --> 01:16:31.223 It’s more like a third opinion. 01:16:31.223 --> 01:16:34.265 Fourth. His counts twice. 01:16:34.265 --> 01:16:36.792 Yeah, you’re right. He has power of veto. 01:16:36.792 --> 01:16:38.195 Well, whatever. 01:16:38.195 --> 01:16:40.537 I’m just glad it went well. 01:16:40.537 --> 01:16:44.813 Yeah. Me too. 01:16:44.813 --> 01:16:48.794 (David) I'm ready whenever you are. 01:16:48.794 --> 01:16:54.834 (A dial tone) 01:16:54.834 --> 01:16:56.573 Hello? 01:16:56.573 --> 01:16:59.559 Hey, George. 01:16:59.559 --> 01:17:01.388 Who is this? 01:17:01.388 --> 01:17:03.922 It’s… David. 01:17:03.922 --> 01:17:08.108 David? David who? 01:17:08.108 --> 01:17:10.727 I used to work for you? 01:17:10.727 --> 01:17:16.700 … oh. Sorry, I didn’t recognize the number. 01:17:16.700 --> 01:17:20.599 Yeah, it's weird It’s the same number I’ve always had. 01:17:20.599 --> 01:17:23.457 Yeah, I know. Your voice sounds different. 01:17:23.457 --> 01:17:25.918 Have you been drinking water? 01:17:25.918 --> 01:17:28.444 Yeah. I've been drinking a lot of water actually 01:17:28.444 --> 01:17:31.462 Good. You should always drink a lot of water. 01:17:31.462 --> 01:17:33.487 It’s so good for you. 01:17:33.487 --> 01:17:35.859 And it tastes good, too. 01:17:35.859 --> 01:17:39.381 Yeah, I’ll do that. Listen, George, I need to talk to you - 01:17:39.381 --> 01:17:41.120 You know what else is good for you? 01:17:41.120 --> 01:17:47.420 Apples. Do you like apples? 01:17:47.420 --> 01:17:51.110 Yeah, yeah. You’ve seen me eat apples. 01:17:51.110 --> 01:17:54.922 I love a good crunchy apple. 01:17:54.922 --> 01:17:58.455 Okay, yeah. George, I need to talk to you - 01:17:58.455 --> 01:18:04.600 What you need to do is try sliced apples with some sharp cheddar cheese. 01:18:04.600 --> 01:18:09.743 I know Cracker Barrel gets a bad rap, 01:18:09.743 --> 01:18:15.590 but the cheese is almost worth the racism. 01:18:15.590 --> 01:18:18.311 George, why are you telling me this? 01:18:18.311 --> 01:18:22.593 This is important. Apples and water. 01:18:22.593 --> 01:18:25.203 That’s all you need to be healthy. 01:18:25.203 --> 01:18:28.315 You need to know this. Everybody needs to know this. 01:18:28.315 --> 01:18:30.259 Everyone already knows this, George 01:18:30.259 --> 01:18:34.743 Everyone knows apples and water are healthy. 01:18:34.743 --> 01:18:36.976 Well I know they do. 01:18:36.976 --> 01:18:39.382 So why are you telling me something I already know? 01:18:39.382 --> 01:18:40.217 I dunno. 01:18:40.217 --> 01:18:42.924 Why are you calling me to tell me something I already know? 01:18:42.924 --> 01:18:44.988 You don’t even know what I’m gonna say to you. 01:18:44.988 --> 01:18:49.087 You think you’re the first person to come crawling back for their job? 01:18:49.087 --> 01:18:55.255 I lived through the Pumpkins’ break-up, okay. 01:18:55.255 --> 01:18:57.396 You know Lenna called me? 01:18:57.396 --> 01:19:00.552 Yeah. Thanks for the glowing review. 01:19:00.552 --> 01:19:02.396 Was I being honest? 01:19:02.396 --> 01:19:04.760 Did I say something to offend you? 01:19:04.760 --> 01:19:07.878 What do you want, David? 01:19:07.878 --> 01:19:10.519 You know what I want. 01:19:10.519 --> 01:19:11.602 Do you want something? 01:19:11.602 --> 01:19:13.895 I wanna know what you want. 01:19:13.895 --> 01:19:15.986 What you really want. 01:19:15.986 --> 01:19:18.515 ‘Cause you sure as hell didn’t wanna work for me. 01:19:18.515 --> 01:19:20.590 It’s not personal, George. 01:19:20.590 --> 01:19:24.261 I know it’s not personal. I wish it had been. 01:19:24.261 --> 01:19:28.644 At least you would’ve cared. 01:19:28.644 --> 01:19:32.417 I do care, George. 01:19:32.417 --> 01:19:34.108 Not about the work. 01:19:34.108 --> 01:19:37.946 You know, when you started here, you took pride in your work. 01:19:37.946 --> 01:19:43.670 But then you started spacing out, not responding to emails. 01:19:43.670 --> 01:19:47.999 You lost interest. 01:19:47.999 --> 01:19:52.216 Is that what happened with you and your wife? 01:19:52.216 --> 01:19:58.544 David, I only talk to my friends about my wife. 01:19:58.544 --> 01:20:00.438 We are not friends. 01:20:00.438 --> 01:20:03.347 But I am gonna tell you something ‘cause I think you need to hear it: 01:20:03.347 --> 01:20:06.254 you don’t want your job back. 01:20:06.254 --> 01:20:09.738 Yes I do. George, I was wrong to do what I did - 01:20:09.738 --> 01:20:14.402 And as an educator I can appreciate that you learned something, 01:20:14.402 --> 01:20:19.995 but giving you your job back is not gonna reinforce that. 01:20:19.995 --> 01:20:24.138 You made your decision, you got caught - twice. 01:20:24.138 --> 01:20:26.542 Now you gotta live with it. 01:20:26.542 --> 01:20:28.828 Do you know what today’s word is, huh? 01:20:28.828 --> 01:20:33.524 No, but I guess you’re gonna tell me, anyway. 01:20:33.524 --> 01:20:47.615 PROGRESS: Painful Realizations Open Gates, Reveal Errors, and Spark Success. 01:20:47.615 --> 01:20:55.870 just like Jason Everman after he left Nirvana and Soundgarden. 01:20:55.870 --> 01:21:00.163 George, I only know what one of those three things are. 01:21:00.163 --> 01:21:06.224 You know when Lenna left, they came crawling back for their job too. 01:21:06.224 --> 01:21:08.777 Said nobody was reading their blog, 01:21:08.777 --> 01:21:12.822 they made a huge mistake, needed a steady income. 01:21:12.822 --> 01:21:14.798 Guess what I told them. 01:21:14.798 --> 01:21:19.965 If you want a steady income, you might wanna consider switching fields? 01:21:19.965 --> 01:21:31.490 No. I told them they made their decision, and they needed to see it through. 01:21:31.490 --> 01:21:34.600 And look at them now. 01:21:34.600 --> 01:21:39.187 Can you imagine where they’d be right if I had given them their job back? 01:21:39.187 --> 01:21:43.621 As opposed to running the eighth most popular music site in Queens? 01:21:43.621 --> 01:21:46.728 I don't know. 01:21:46.728 --> 01:21:49.748 They grew something, David. 01:21:49.748 --> 01:21:56.964 You can’t grow if you don’t step outside of your comfort zone. 01:21:56.964 --> 01:21:59.901 You were too comfortable here. 01:21:59.901 --> 01:22:03.408 Now you want me to pull you outta the water 01:22:03.408 --> 01:22:09.090 because you don’t wanna sink, 01:22:09.090 --> 01:22:19.444 you need to stay in the pool and you need to learn how to swim. 01:22:19.444 --> 01:22:24.716 ... is that what happened to your kids? 01:22:24.716 --> 01:22:29.317 Goodbye, David. 01:22:33.830 --> 01:22:37.730 So I reached out to whoever would speak to me about cases of advanced aging. 01:22:37.730 --> 01:22:38.943 What’d you find out? 01:22:38.943 --> 01:22:41.797 Nothing. All I got was a bunch of infographics about progeria. 01:22:41.797 --> 01:22:44.777 Isn’t there like a database you could look into or something? 01:22:44.777 --> 01:22:47.219 There is, but I don’t have access anymore. 01:22:47.219 --> 01:22:49.232 Can't you just break in and steal it? 01:22:49.232 --> 01:22:51.203 You literally have time travel technology. 01:22:51.203 --> 01:22:53.346 I don’t have time travel technology. 01:22:53.346 --> 01:22:58.520 I have a specific TempTech prototype that allows me to visit other timelines. 01:22:58.520 --> 01:23:00.575 It doesn’t have a built-in hacker edition. 01:23:00.575 --> 01:23:02.634 We need to be moving faster on this. 01:23:02.634 --> 01:23:04.578 You can’t just force a case to move faster. 01:23:04.578 --> 01:23:06.051 When we find a new lead, we’ll - 01:23:06.051 --> 01:23:09.046 I get that, but I’m kind of eating out of my own savings here. 01:23:09.046 --> 01:23:11.206 I’m barely gonna scrape by on rent this month. 01:23:11.206 --> 01:23:12.251 I got Annie up my ass. 01:23:12.251 --> 01:23:13.601 Oh, good for you. 01:23:13.601 --> 01:23:15.568 No, she’s up my ass about the rent. 01:23:15.568 --> 01:23:17.725 Hell yeah. Get bent, pay rent. 01:23:17.725 --> 01:23:19.376 What? 01:23:19.376 --> 01:23:21.727 Maybe “up my ass” isn’t a good thing in your timeline. 01:23:21.727 --> 01:23:23.684 Whatever, just ask Amy for money. 01:23:23.684 --> 01:23:26.316 I can’t. I promised my dad I’d be less of a headache to her. 01:23:26.316 --> 01:23:27.553 Why would you promise that? 01:23:27.553 --> 01:23:28.789 Don’t you know yourself? 01:23:28.789 --> 01:23:31.451 Look, you can’t just send me a care package or something? 01:23:31.451 --> 01:23:34.200 No, I can’t send anything physically over the timeline. 01:23:34.200 --> 01:23:35.504 It’ll just be spaghettified. 01:23:35.504 --> 01:23:38.335 Well, give me a stock tip or send me some bitcoins or something. 01:23:38.335 --> 01:23:40.724 No. I can’t interfere with your timeline more than I already have. 01:23:40.724 --> 01:23:42.426 It’ll jeopardize the mission. 01:23:42.426 --> 01:23:45.651 Let me get this straight, you want me to kill someone in your timeline, 01:23:45.651 --> 01:23:47.302 but you can’t even help me get on my feet? 01:23:47.302 --> 01:23:48.601 It’s not killing, it’s - 01:23:48.601 --> 01:23:50.540 I know what it is. 01:23:50.540 --> 01:23:52.804 And you won’t help me because you need me helpless, right? 01:23:52.804 --> 01:23:55.879 Because that’s the only way I’ll help you finish the mission 01:23:55.879 --> 01:23:57.306 Honesty is the best policy. 01:23:57.306 --> 01:23:59.015 Is that seriously a yes? 01:23:59.015 --> 01:24:01.328 I told you I needed you because you were motivated. 01:24:01.328 --> 01:24:04.747 And you don’t think I’ll be motivated unless I’m being threatened with an eviction notice? 01:24:04.747 --> 01:24:06.240 David, this is not about you. 01:24:06.240 --> 01:24:08.465 This is about stopping a murderer who has 01:24:08.465 --> 01:24:10.691 killed more people than you’ve ever even met. 01:24:10.691 --> 01:24:12.797 You’re right, it can make your life easier. 01:24:12.797 --> 01:24:14.386 That’s why you agreed to do this. 01:24:14.386 --> 01:24:15.720 I am not your enemy, I am your partner. 01:24:15.720 --> 01:24:16.721 You need to trust me. 01:24:16.721 --> 01:24:17.847 I don’t even know you. 01:24:17.847 --> 01:24:18.830 I’m literally you. 01:24:18.830 --> 01:24:20.103 You’re me but you’re not me. 01:24:20.103 --> 01:24:21.131 That’s what you said. 01:24:21.131 --> 01:24:24.141 Well, I’m as close to you as anyone is gonna get. 01:24:24.141 --> 01:24:26.813 Look, I crossed the sixth dimensional plane to find you. 01:24:26.813 --> 01:24:28.129 I made you a promise. 01:24:28.129 --> 01:24:32.538 You don’t think I can deliver on it? 01:24:32.538 --> 01:24:34.198 You don't think think I will deliver. 01:24:34.198 --> 01:24:36.105 Why, because that’s what you would do? 01:24:36.105 --> 01:24:38.317 If I could teleport to a different timeline? 01:24:38.317 --> 01:24:39.964 Yeah, I’d take the money and run. 01:24:39.964 --> 01:24:43.359 Well, like you said, I’m not you. 01:24:43.359 --> 01:24:45.362 Look, I’m not forcing you to do this. 01:24:45.362 --> 01:24:48.217 But you know what happens if you don’t. 01:24:48.217 --> 01:24:50.417 How do I know what you told me is the truth? 01:24:50.417 --> 01:24:53.283 Do you feel like it is? 01:24:56.135 --> 01:24:58.300 How do you get past that? 01:24:58.300 --> 01:25:02.468 I didn’t. I’m still that way, I just got better at dealing with it. 01:25:02.468 --> 01:25:03.889 When? 01:25:03.889 --> 01:25:06.951 I would say when I joined the agency. 01:25:06.951 --> 01:25:11.435 It wasn't the work itself, just... having a purpose helps. 01:25:11.435 --> 01:25:13.500 You need to find your purpose. 01:25:13.500 --> 01:25:16.230 What if this is a timeline where I don’t have a purpose? 01:25:16.230 --> 01:25:19.793 Then let this be your purpose. 01:25:19.793 --> 01:25:22.313 And when we’re done, you’ll find a new one. 01:25:25.431 --> 01:25:28.329 You said there isn't an Amy in your timeline. 01:25:28.329 --> 01:25:29.350 Don’t get nihilistic. 01:25:29.350 --> 01:25:30.729 I can’t deal with that shit. 01:25:30.729 --> 01:25:32.606 No, I’m just asking. 01:25:32.606 --> 01:25:34.678 No, Amy doesn't exist in my timeline. 01:25:34.678 --> 01:25:36.814 So does she just not exist? 01:25:36.814 --> 01:25:39.160 She wouldn’t exist as you know her. 01:25:39.160 --> 01:25:43.249 In your timeline, you - David - have a sister named Amy. 01:25:43.249 --> 01:25:46.901 In my timeline, I - also David - do not have a sister named Amy. 01:25:46.901 --> 01:25:49.953 There are other timelines where you have a sister named Junebug, 01:25:49.953 --> 01:25:51.964 or a father named Bobcat. 01:25:51.964 --> 01:25:53.768 Why are you asking me this? 01:25:53.768 --> 01:25:56.985 Are there timelines where the Fizzle Killer doesn’t exist? 01:25:56.985 --> 01:25:58.185 Absolutely. 01:25:58.185 --> 01:25:59.926 Is this one of them? 01:25:59.926 --> 01:26:01.747 He could exist in this timeline. 01:26:01.747 --> 01:26:05.038 What if we found the person who becomes the Fizzle Killer in this timeline 01:26:05.038 --> 01:26:07.240 and then found the same person in your timeline? 01:26:07.240 --> 01:26:11.775 We’d have no way of knowing whether the same person is the Fizzle Killer in my timeline. 01:26:11.775 --> 01:26:15.312 They might have the same name, or they might look the same, but that’s circumstantial. 01:26:15.312 --> 01:26:16.959 It’s inter-dimensional profiling. 01:26:16.959 --> 01:26:18.143 But it might work? 01:26:18.143 --> 01:26:19.252 It might work. 01:26:19.252 --> 01:26:21.121 We might also erase an innocent person from existence. 01:26:21.121 --> 01:26:22.701 Aren’t you guys used to that by now? 01:26:22.701 --> 01:26:24.020 Used to what? 01:26:24.020 --> 01:26:26.047 It was a police joke. Never mind. 01:26:26.047 --> 01:26:27.437 We’re not the police. 01:26:27.437 --> 01:26:28.836 I mean the Temp Agency. 01:26:28.836 --> 01:26:31.665 Yeah, we're the Temporal Agency 01:26:31.665 --> 01:26:34.702 We deal in matters related to spacetime. 01:26:34.702 --> 01:26:37.661 Spacetime... the Temp Agency is part of NASA? 01:26:37.661 --> 01:26:40.314 NASA deals with space, so, yeah. 01:26:40.314 --> 01:26:41.902 What does space have to do with time? 01:26:41.902 --> 01:26:44.287 It has literally everything to do with time. 01:26:44.287 --> 01:26:47.241 To form a wormball, you need to warp gravity. 01:26:47.241 --> 01:26:50.769 Gravity is weaker in space, so time moves more slowly on Earth. 01:26:50.769 --> 01:26:52.200 It’s called time dilation. 01:26:52.200 --> 01:26:55.771 The first TempTech experiments started because of Y2K paranoia. 01:26:55.771 --> 01:26:57.898 They thought they could send a bunch of couples 01:26:57.898 --> 01:27:00.886 to planets where time moved more slowly than on Earth. 01:27:00.886 --> 01:27:03.309 That way if the world really did end, 01:27:03.309 --> 01:27:06.697 they could wait it out and return back to Earth to repopulate. 01:27:06.697 --> 01:27:07.549 So much for that. 01:27:07.549 --> 01:27:11.191 Yeah, you can kind of imagine why NASA didn’t want that expense report getting out. 01:27:11.191 --> 01:27:12.771 What happened to the astronauts? 01:27:12.771 --> 01:27:13.887 Budgets. 01:27:13.887 --> 01:27:15.554 NASA was already getting defunded, 01:27:15.554 --> 01:27:18.965 but after Nine-Eleven nobody wanted to bankroll a rescue mission. 01:27:18.965 --> 01:27:21.007 The astronauts were lost. 01:27:21.007 --> 01:27:22.820 They’re probably still out there. 01:27:27.410 --> 01:27:30.119 Would it be possible for us to get into NASA? 01:27:30.119 --> 01:27:32.084 I told you, I don’t have access anymore. 01:27:32.084 --> 01:27:33.492 Not in your timeline. In mine. 01:27:33.492 --> 01:27:35.218 You mean, like, a walk-in appointment? 01:27:35.218 --> 01:27:37.182 No, I mean like getting into their system. 01:27:37.182 --> 01:27:38.689 You wanna hack NASA? 01:27:38.689 --> 01:27:40.537 Remember the profile? 01:27:40.537 --> 01:27:42.753 This is a guy who had a distant relationship with his parents. 01:27:42.753 --> 01:27:45.602 What if that distance isn’t just metaphorical? 01:27:45.602 --> 01:27:47.763 You think his parents might have been some of the astronauts? 01:27:47.763 --> 01:27:49.164 Think about it. 01:27:49.164 --> 01:27:50.631 Guy grows up without his parents, 01:27:50.631 --> 01:27:52.994 hears all the time what heroes they are for shooting themselves into space. 01:27:52.994 --> 01:27:55.346 Wants to live up to that sacrifice. 01:27:55.346 --> 01:27:57.889 Goes into the family business. 01:27:57.889 --> 01:27:59.957 You think the killer is a Temp Agent? 01:27:59.957 --> 01:28:01.464 He’s a legacy hire. 01:28:01.464 --> 01:28:04.897 But he has no real potential, he’s stuck in his parents’ shadow. 01:28:04.897 --> 01:28:07.261 That explains how he’s been so good at evading us. 01:28:07.261 --> 01:28:08.832 He knows how we think. 01:28:08.832 --> 01:28:11.858 You were told The Agency didn't want to pursue this. 01:28:11.858 --> 01:28:15.580 Maybe someone didn’t want you getting close. 01:28:15.580 --> 01:28:18.233 Okay. If we got the list of astronauts, 01:28:18.233 --> 01:28:21.390 we could cross-reference that with names in the Agency. 01:28:21.390 --> 01:28:25.623 But getting that list is risky. Hacking NASA is no joke. 01:28:25.623 --> 01:28:26.903 You can walk me through it. 01:28:26.903 --> 01:28:29.249 You know all the passwords and security questions. 01:28:29.249 --> 01:28:30.996 I don’t know that stuff from ten years ago. 01:28:30.996 --> 01:28:32.443 I didn’t even work there then. 01:28:32.443 --> 01:28:36.124 Even if I did, your timeline might have subtle differences. 01:28:36.124 --> 01:28:39.319 If even one thing goes wrong, you go to jail 01:28:39.319 --> 01:28:40.970 and I have to go look for another David. 01:28:40.970 --> 01:28:43.423 No offense, but you’re not gonna be of much help from prison. 01:28:43.423 --> 01:28:45.197 That's a risk I'm willing to take. 01:28:45.197 --> 01:28:47.213 I thought you didn’t wanna worry your sister. 01:28:47.213 --> 01:28:50.763 Three square meals? Regular housing? Home gym? 01:28:50.763 --> 01:28:52.451 She’ll be proud of me. 01:28:52.451 --> 01:28:55.498 Okay. Give me a couple days. 01:28:55.498 --> 01:28:58.874 I can search Readdat and some other hacker fivums. 01:28:58.874 --> 01:29:03.044 See if anyone’s breached NASA’s firewalls in the past. 01:29:03.044 --> 01:29:06.543 In the meantime, you may not be a free man much longer, 01:29:06.543 --> 01:29:11.674 so, sow some wild oats while you still can. 01:29:11.674 --> 01:29:13.905 Is that not a saying here? 01:29:13.905 --> 01:29:21.779 No, it is. I’ve just never heard anyone say that in real life. 01:29:21.779 --> 01:29:25.185 Maybe that’s because you never had to think about it before. 01:29:29.325 --> 01:29:31.385 (Amy) He’s got an appointment for next week. 01:29:31.385 --> 01:29:33.348 I just gotta figure out transportation. 01:29:33.348 --> 01:29:34.861 But he’s going along with it? 01:29:34.861 --> 01:29:38.387 Yeah. He’s been fine about it. Kind of calm. 01:29:38.387 --> 01:29:41.623 I think he’s, like, finally accepting his mortality. 01:29:41.623 --> 01:29:43.438 Well, good. We all have to. 01:29:44.568 --> 01:29:46.140 “We all have to”? 01:29:46.140 --> 01:29:49.590 Yeah. Do we not? Is it negotiable? 01:29:49.590 --> 01:29:52.316 No. Usually you’d make a joke there, like, 01:29:52.316 --> 01:29:54.576 “He’s accepting his mortality, 01:29:54.576 --> 01:29:59.233 more like he’s accepting his throne in the underworld” or something. 01:29:59.233 --> 01:30:01.694 I dunno. It’s not a very “you” thing to say. 01:30:01.694 --> 01:30:03.917 Well, I’m not the things I say. 01:30:03.917 --> 01:30:07.471 It’s the things we do that make us who we are. 01:30:07.471 --> 01:30:09.252 Yeah, no. That doesn’t sound like you. 01:30:09.252 --> 01:30:10.443 What’s going on? 01:30:10.443 --> 01:30:13.490 Work is a little... spicy right now. 01:30:13.490 --> 01:30:17.482 Spicy like jerk chicken or spicy like IBS? 01:30:17.482 --> 01:30:19.824 Spicy like exciting. 01:30:19.824 --> 01:30:21.482 We might have had a break-in. 01:30:21.482 --> 01:30:23.516 Oh my God. Did they steal anything? 01:30:23.516 --> 01:30:26.027 Oh, no. I meant “breakthrough.” 01:30:26.027 --> 01:30:27.932 I dunno why I said “break-in.” 01:30:27.932 --> 01:30:29.690 Guilty conscience. 01:30:29.690 --> 01:30:32.846 No, we just have to make kind of a risky move. 01:30:32.846 --> 01:30:35.149 It’s not dangerous or anything, 01:30:35.149 --> 01:30:37.712 it’s just kind of a big setback if it doesn’t pan out. 01:30:37.712 --> 01:30:40.624 But if it works, we might get what we need to catch the guy. 01:30:40.624 --> 01:30:42.326 Oh. Well, good. 01:30:42.326 --> 01:30:43.708 You’ll finally get paid. 01:30:43.708 --> 01:30:45.820 Yeah. Annie'll be excited to hear that. 01:30:45.820 --> 01:30:49.280 (Annie) I can hear you, asshole! 01:30:49.280 --> 01:30:52.110 I didn’t say anything bad about you. 01:30:52.110 --> 01:30:57.664 (Annie) Oh. Okay. Carry on. 01:30:57.664 --> 01:31:02.771 So, once you finish the case, is this gonna turn into a full-time gig? 01:31:02.771 --> 01:31:06.449 No. The detective, this is like a passion project for him. 01:31:06.449 --> 01:31:09.319 Once we’re done, it’s over for him. 01:31:09.319 --> 01:31:11.935 “Over”? Like, suicide--? 01:31:11.935 --> 01:31:14.998 No, no, no, like he’s gonna go back where he came from. 01:31:14.998 --> 01:31:18.114 This is like his last job. 01:31:18.114 --> 01:31:21.185 Oh, okay. 01:31:21.185 --> 01:31:23.298 Can I be honest with you? 01:31:23.298 --> 01:31:26.994 That depends. Is it the best policy? 01:31:26.994 --> 01:31:34.512 I know this was something different for you, and I’m glad about that, but... 01:31:34.512 --> 01:31:36.591 you can’t even talk about the work. 01:31:36.591 --> 01:31:39.595 And, I hate to be a mom, but someone around here has to, 01:31:39.595 --> 01:31:43.309 so, you can’t just take a job where you don’t know if you’re ever gonna get paid. 01:31:43.309 --> 01:31:44.084 I know. 01:31:44.084 --> 01:31:45.382 You need something stable. 01:31:45.382 --> 01:31:46.500 I know. 01:31:46.500 --> 01:31:48.130 And something you actually enjoy doing. 01:31:48.130 --> 01:31:51.296 I know, I was actually gonna ask you about that. 01:31:51.296 --> 01:31:55.033 The job with Lenna - is that still a possibility? 01:31:55.033 --> 01:31:56.725 Well, I talked to them. 01:31:56.725 --> 01:31:58.852 They weren’t happy with what George said. 01:31:58.852 --> 01:32:02.701 But they also liked the writing sample I sent them. 01:32:02.701 --> 01:32:07.389 You sent them my writing? What did you send? 01:32:07.389 --> 01:32:13.534 Well, I... actually sent the one you wrote in high school. About Mr. Kleio. 01:32:13.534 --> 01:32:15.655 You sent them “Trumpet Pumper”?! 01:32:15.655 --> 01:32:21.689 Well, you hadn’t written any journalism and it was the only thing that had to do with music. 01:32:21.689 --> 01:32:23.437 And they liked that? 01:32:23.437 --> 01:32:27.939 They thought it was funny. Juvenile, but funny. 01:32:27.939 --> 01:32:30.851 They wouldn’t hire you for a journalism position, 01:32:30.851 --> 01:32:34.152 but, since they’re looking to expand, 01:32:34.152 --> 01:32:37.454 they wanna try something a little experimental? 01:32:37.454 --> 01:32:39.551 Like what? 01:32:39.551 --> 01:32:43.306 It would be, like, satirical reviews. 01:32:43.306 --> 01:32:49.768 You would be sort of a personality with these really off-color takes on new releases. 01:32:49.768 --> 01:32:56.702 It’s entertainment, but with music journalism as a side salad. 01:32:56.702 --> 01:32:58.971 What did you tell them? 01:32:58.971 --> 01:33:01.451 I told them you’d be perfect for it, 01:33:01.451 --> 01:33:03.398 but I also had to tell them that you made 01:33:03.398 --> 01:33:06.462 a very sudden career shift without consulting me. 01:33:08.896 --> 01:33:10.558 You should email them. 01:33:10.558 --> 01:33:12.248 No! You should call them. 01:33:12.248 --> 01:33:14.335 Tell them you love the idea. 01:33:14.335 --> 01:33:16.567 People love verbal validation. 01:33:16.567 --> 01:33:18.659 You’re right, that’s a great idea Amy! 01:33:18.659 --> 01:33:22.449 Thanks, sarcastic dickhead! 01:33:22.449 --> 01:33:24.461 But seriously, do it. 01:33:24.461 --> 01:33:26.474 Yeah. I’ll do it. 01:33:26.474 --> 01:33:28.952 So, how are you? 01:33:28.952 --> 01:33:30.876 Who are you? 01:33:30.876 --> 01:33:32.563 I know, I asked on my own for once. 01:33:32.563 --> 01:33:35.006 I must be a fuckin’ alien. 01:33:35.006 --> 01:33:37.964 I’m fine, David. 01:33:37.964 --> 01:33:40.116 I’m glad you and Phil got along. 01:33:40.116 --> 01:33:42.381 I’m glad you’re both doing okay. 01:33:42.381 --> 01:33:45.285 That’s how we’re doing. How are you? 01:33:45.285 --> 01:33:51.172 I dunno. I feel less worried for once. 01:33:51.172 --> 01:33:53.560 I don’t really think about myself a lot. 01:33:53.560 --> 01:33:58.428 Well, when you do, what do you think about? 01:33:58.428 --> 01:34:02.721 I mostly just think that about how I don’t wanna be here. 01:34:02.721 --> 01:34:04.300 Not forever at least. 01:34:04.300 --> 01:34:09.200 Well, where do you want to be? 01:34:09.200 --> 01:34:13.055 I feel like the thing I’m supposed to say is that I wanna go college. 01:34:13.055 --> 01:34:14.419 But I don’t wanna say that. 01:34:14.419 --> 01:34:18.407 Are you sure? U.U. is taking applications for the spring. 01:34:18.407 --> 01:34:21.223 Nah, I can do way better than U.U. 01:34:21.223 --> 01:34:23.171 Wow. 01:34:23.171 --> 01:34:28.145 Well, maybe once I figure this all out, I can help out with Phil. 01:34:28.145 --> 01:34:33.044 I mean, I’m can't help him shower, but like I can maybe send money at least. 01:34:33.044 --> 01:34:35.709 You’re gonna send money on a writer’s salary? 01:34:35.709 --> 01:34:39.473 I’ll just... write a lot. And maybe sell some parts. 01:34:39.473 --> 01:34:41.750 Just some ribs you’re not using. 01:34:41.750 --> 01:34:43.655 Hey, I’m right-handed. 01:34:43.655 --> 01:34:46.769 If I write everything by hand, I can sell this whole thing. 01:34:46.769 --> 01:34:51.629 Just… let me worry about it for once so you don’t have. 01:34:54.304 --> 01:34:57.483 I really wanna believe you, I do - 01:34:57.483 --> 01:35:02.207 I know. I’m gonna make sure you can. 01:35:02.207 --> 01:35:04.977 Thank you. 01:35:04.977 --> 01:35:06.830 You know what I’m gonna do? 01:35:06.830 --> 01:35:11.357 I’m gonna go eat some sherbet and find a new hobby on YouTube. 01:35:11.357 --> 01:35:13.415 Yeah. Do that. 01:35:13.415 --> 01:35:16.797 Yeah I’m gonna do that. Don't forget to - 01:35:16.797 --> 01:35:17.707 Email Lenna. 01:35:17.707 --> 01:35:18.804 Call Lenna - 01:35:18.804 --> 01:35:19.993 I will call Lenna. 01:35:19.993 --> 01:35:20.901 And don’t - 01:35:20.901 --> 01:35:23.005 Don’t die on the job. I know. I won’t. 01:35:23.005 --> 01:35:27.054 I was actually gonna say “Don’t kill anyone.” 01:35:27.054 --> 01:35:30.186 No promises there. 01:35:30.186 --> 01:35:33.591 Yeah, sure. Bye, David. 01:35:33.591 --> 01:35:36.464 Bye. 01:35:41.590 --> 01:35:42.893 Annie! 01:35:42.893 --> 01:35:44.896 (Annie) Yeah? 01:35:44.896 --> 01:35:48.632 How long have you been able to hear me in my room? 01:35:48.632 --> 01:35:50.543 (Annie) Always! 01:35:50.543 --> 01:35:53.896 Do you hear me talk about my job? 01:35:53.896 --> 01:35:55.873 (Annie) You don’t have a job. 01:35:55.873 --> 01:35:58.313 You’re just talking to yourself. 01:35:58.313 --> 01:36:00.980 That is correct. 01:36:00.980 --> 01:36:07.670 (Annie) It’s okay. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. 01:36:07.670 --> 01:36:09.197 That’s true, Annie. 01:36:09.197 --> 01:36:11.947 Thank you for understanding. 01:37:29.111 --> 01:37:30.257 Are you there? 01:37:30.257 --> 01:37:33.528 Yeah, I’m here. What the hell are you wearing? 01:37:33.528 --> 01:37:34.725 We’re hacking. 01:37:34.725 --> 01:37:38.033 Yeah. Hacking. Not robbing a Hot Topic at gunpoint. 01:37:38.033 --> 01:37:41.734 Alright, here’s the plan. I did a bunch of searching on the dark web. 01:37:41.734 --> 01:37:44.746 I found a list of passwords from a hack on NASA in my timeline. 01:37:44.746 --> 01:37:47.121 You can just find that on the Internet? 01:37:47.121 --> 01:37:51.030 Yeah. Hackers just post that shit online for people to find, it’s fantastic. 01:37:51.030 --> 01:37:55.563 This list has thousands of NASA passwords that are probably still current in your timeline. 01:37:55.563 --> 01:37:58.343 All we need to do is find the right target who has clearance 01:37:58.343 --> 01:38:00.985 to the list of astronauts and launch a dictionary attack. 01:38:00.985 --> 01:38:02.278 A dictionary attack? 01:38:02.278 --> 01:38:03.835 Basically we’re throwing every password we have at the system 01:38:03.835 --> 01:38:05.393 until one of them works. 01:38:05.393 --> 01:38:07.255 I found the code for that online. 01:38:07.255 --> 01:38:10.222 I sent it to you last night so all you have to do is copy and paste. 01:38:10.222 --> 01:38:14.547 I’m guessing that’s the email that says “Die, Perish, Croak, Expire.” 01:38:14.547 --> 01:38:16.732 Get it, ‘cause they’re “pass” words, 01:38:16.732 --> 01:38:19.304 words you say when someone passes - okay, never mind. 01:38:19.304 --> 01:38:22.706 I also found a list of NASA employees from this year but in my timeline. 01:38:22.706 --> 01:38:26.220 I looked it over for targets who were likely to have clearance to mission personnel. 01:38:26.220 --> 01:38:29.043 I also narrowed it down to people who were working for NASA 01:38:29.043 --> 01:38:32.484 in the nineties when the first TempTech experiments were running. 01:38:32.484 --> 01:38:36.276 I see it. I am not going to repeat what the subject line reads. 01:38:36.276 --> 01:38:39.553 If one of these people has the same password as their parallel self 01:38:39.553 --> 01:38:42.631 in my timeline, you’ll be able to get into their account easily. 01:38:42.631 --> 01:38:44.028 Ready to do this? 01:38:44.028 --> 01:38:45.018 I guess so. 01:38:45.018 --> 01:38:47.136 You sure? Remember, I’m here as an outsider. 01:38:47.136 --> 01:38:48.927 Everything we’re doing right now is changing the course 01:38:48.927 --> 01:38:50.719 of your timeline permanently. 01:38:50.719 --> 01:38:52.765 If you get caught, there’s nothing I can do. 01:38:52.765 --> 01:38:54.652 You’re sure you wanna do this? 01:38:54.652 --> 01:38:57.536 No. But I know what’s gonna happen if I don’t. 01:38:57.536 --> 01:38:58.567 That’s the spirit! 01:38:58.567 --> 01:38:59.839 Alright, let’s hack NASA. 01:38:59.839 --> 01:39:02.651 I’m on the NASA login page. 01:39:02.651 --> 01:39:04.716 Cool. Cool. Open the list of targets. 01:39:04.716 --> 01:39:05.612 Open. 01:39:05.612 --> 01:39:08.210 Cool. Fire at will. 01:39:08.210 --> 01:39:12.357 Okay, sounds good. I’m gonna target... 01:39:12.357 --> 01:39:13.857 Literally just pick anyone. 01:39:13.857 --> 01:39:14.897 Alright, I’m gonna pick - 01:39:14.897 --> 01:39:16.070 You don’t have to tell me. 01:39:16.070 --> 01:39:17.321 Harrison Ford? 01:39:17.321 --> 01:39:18.180 Who? 01:39:18.180 --> 01:39:20.670 Harrison Ford. This guy’s name is Harrison Ford. 01:39:20.670 --> 01:39:22.558 Okay. So what? Hack his ass. 01:39:22.558 --> 01:39:26.741 It’s just cool that his name is Harrison Ford and he works at NASA. 01:39:26.741 --> 01:39:30.861 Alright, alright. I’m launching the attack. 01:39:30.861 --> 01:39:32.113 Is it supposed to do that? 01:39:32.113 --> 01:39:34.603 Yeah. There’s like a couple million passwords in there 01:39:34.603 --> 01:39:37.304 so we just have to wait for it to go through all of them. 01:39:37.304 --> 01:39:39.944 Just sit tight. 01:39:39.944 --> 01:39:43.025 So... who the fuck is Harrison Ford? 01:39:43.025 --> 01:39:46.136 He’s the guy from - your timeline doesn’t have Star Wars . 01:39:46.136 --> 01:39:47.582 Yes we do. 01:39:47.582 --> 01:39:50.565 Oh. Who played Han Solo? 01:39:50.565 --> 01:39:52.489 Christopher Walken. Who else? 01:39:52.489 --> 01:39:53.608 Oh God. 01:39:53.608 --> 01:39:55.479 What’s wrong with Christopher Walken? 01:39:55.479 --> 01:39:58.401 He’s... he’s weird. He’s just weird. 01:39:58.401 --> 01:40:00.369 You’re talking to yourself in a garage. 01:40:00.369 --> 01:40:02.839 Also, why are we in a garage? 01:40:02.839 --> 01:40:05.382 Annie can hear us through the walls in my room. 01:40:05.382 --> 01:40:08.501 I figured it’d be better if she didn’t overhear me hacking into NASA. 01:40:08.501 --> 01:40:10.864 Oh. Are you and Annie still... 01:40:10.864 --> 01:40:11.896 Still what? 01:40:11.896 --> 01:40:14.017 Look, we’re done. 01:40:14.017 --> 01:40:15.762 Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. 01:40:15.762 --> 01:40:18.459 No, the dictionary attack is done. No matches. 01:40:18.459 --> 01:40:20.330 Guess it’s not the only one who can’t find a match. 01:40:20.330 --> 01:40:22.293 Wha - Can you stay focused? 01:40:22.293 --> 01:40:24.233 Just pick another name off the list. 01:40:24.233 --> 01:40:27.231 Fine. I’m gonna pick - 01:40:27.231 --> 01:40:28.510 You don’t have to tell me. 01:40:28.510 --> 01:40:29.749 Ed Harris? 01:40:29.749 --> 01:40:30.928 You’ve gotta be kidding me. 01:40:30.928 --> 01:40:31.766 What? 01:40:31.766 --> 01:40:35.465 There’s a guy named Ed Harris who worked at NASA in the nineties. 01:40:35.465 --> 01:40:37.645 Does everybody at NASA have “Harris” in their name? 01:40:37.645 --> 01:40:39.353 No, it’s just a funny coincidence. 01:40:39.353 --> 01:40:40.517 How is that funny? 01:40:40.517 --> 01:40:42.938 Because they both did movies about being in space. 01:40:42.938 --> 01:40:44.626 Ed Harris was in Apollo 13 . 01:40:44.626 --> 01:40:46.479 Okay. He lives in Harlem, so what? 01:40:46.479 --> 01:40:48.809 Wha - never mind. 01:40:48.809 --> 01:40:51.757 God, why is hacking NASA so boring? 01:40:51.757 --> 01:40:55.789 It looks so fun on Mr. Robot . 01:40:55.789 --> 01:40:57.649 Please tell me you know what Mr. Rob - 01:40:57.649 --> 01:41:00.554 Let’s just avoid pop culture references from here on out. 01:41:00.554 --> 01:41:03.596 Sure. 01:41:03.596 --> 01:41:05.619 And... no matches. 01:41:05.619 --> 01:41:09.102 How about that one. Laurence Cooper. 01:41:09.102 --> 01:41:13.113 Sure. Why not? 01:41:13.113 --> 01:41:15.657 Oh, shit. That was fast. 01:41:15.657 --> 01:41:17.942 See what happens when you’re not blinded by star power? 01:41:17.942 --> 01:41:19.708 Alright, copy paste and we’re in. 01:41:19.708 --> 01:41:21.237 Okay. 01:41:21.237 --> 01:41:23.928 Oh fuck. There’s security questions. 01:41:23.928 --> 01:41:26.289 I don’t have passwords for this. 01:41:26.289 --> 01:41:30.089 “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, 01:41:30.089 --> 01:41:32.328 and three legs in the evening?” 01:41:32.328 --> 01:41:33.902 It’s the Riddle of the Sphinx. 01:41:33.902 --> 01:41:34.981 The answer is “man.” 01:41:34.981 --> 01:41:36.102 No, it’s “polymelius.” 01:41:36.102 --> 01:41:37.752 What? No. 01:41:37.752 --> 01:41:40.968 This is NASA. They’re not literary guys, they’re science guys. 01:41:40.968 --> 01:41:42.466 What the hell is polymelius? 01:41:42.466 --> 01:41:44.499 Something the government hasn’t told you about yet. 01:41:44.499 --> 01:41:45.826 It has a lot of legs. 01:41:45.826 --> 01:41:48.866 Are you sure the answer is “polymelius”? 01:41:48.866 --> 01:41:51.801 Absolutely. 01:41:51.801 --> 01:41:53.503 You better be right about this. 01:41:53.503 --> 01:41:56.562 P-O-L-Y-M-E-L-I-U-S. 01:41:56.562 --> 01:41:58.177 (A computer ding) 01:41:58.177 --> 01:41:59.472 You were right. 01:41:59.472 --> 01:42:04.000 “What is so fragile that when you say its name it breaks?” 01:42:04.000 --> 01:42:05.907 Silence. That’s so obvious. 01:42:05.907 --> 01:42:07.681 Put “Blaschka sea monster.” 01:42:07.681 --> 01:42:08.407 What is that? 01:42:08.407 --> 01:42:13.595 It’s glass but not glass. It’s formed from volcanoes. Trust me, it’s the right answer. 01:42:13.595 --> 01:42:14.897 Are you sure? 01:42:14.897 --> 01:42:16.336 I’ve been right so far. 01:42:16.336 --> 01:42:18.043 You’re risking my freedom on it. 01:42:18.043 --> 01:42:20.548 No, you’re the one risking your freedom. 01:42:20.548 --> 01:42:23.194 I promise, it’s the right answer. 01:42:23.194 --> 01:42:24.891 Blaschka? 01:42:24.891 --> 01:42:30.119 B-L-A-S-C-H-K-A. 01:42:30.119 --> 01:42:31.349 (A computer ding) 01:42:31.349 --> 01:42:35.106 “What has thirteen hearts but no organs?” 01:42:35.106 --> 01:42:36.294 A deck of cards. 01:42:36.294 --> 01:42:37.744 Vestigial cockroach. 01:42:39.042 --> 01:42:40.116 V-E-S 01:42:40.116 --> 01:42:41.612 I know how to spell it. 01:42:44.237 --> 01:42:45.642 (A computer ding) 01:42:45.642 --> 01:42:46.967 Of course it is. 01:42:46.967 --> 01:42:48.762 How many of these are there? 01:42:48.762 --> 01:42:52.281 “What flies without wings?” Time. Time flies. 01:42:52.281 --> 01:42:54.594 No. Telekinetic squirrel. 01:42:54.594 --> 01:42:56.147 Why do they all have to be animals? 01:42:56.147 --> 01:42:58.251 Maybe this guy Cooper just likes animals. 01:42:58.251 --> 01:42:59.396 How can it not be “time”? 01:42:59.396 --> 01:43:01.916 We’re literally talking about NASA and time travel. 01:43:01.916 --> 01:43:03.181 It’s too obvious. 01:43:03.181 --> 01:43:06.920 I’m telling you, “telekinetic squirrel.” 01:43:08.102 --> 01:43:09.448 (A computer ding) 01:43:09.448 --> 01:43:11.521 Let’s pray this is the last one. 01:43:11.521 --> 01:43:14.540 “What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, 01:43:14.540 --> 01:43:18.066 the beginning of every end, and the end of every race?” 01:43:18.066 --> 01:43:19.289 What’s the answer 01:43:19.289 --> 01:43:21.588 I... I don’t know. 01:43:21.588 --> 01:43:23.285 Are you serious? 01:43:23.285 --> 01:43:25.139 There’s no animal at the beginning of eternity. 01:43:25.139 --> 01:43:26.504 Trust me, I’ve seen it. 01:43:26.504 --> 01:43:28.278 Your guess is as good as mine. 01:43:28.278 --> 01:43:30.204 Well, mine have all been wrong so far. 01:43:30.204 --> 01:43:31.830 Might as well give it a shot. 01:43:31.830 --> 01:43:33.742 We’re gonna get locked out if we don’t. 01:43:35.807 --> 01:43:36.551 What? 01:43:36.551 --> 01:43:37.537 Don’t put that. 01:43:37.537 --> 01:43:38.704 (A computer ding) 01:43:38.704 --> 01:43:40.699 Huh. How’d you know? 01:43:40.699 --> 01:43:43.356 The letter “E” begins or ends all of the words. 01:43:43.356 --> 01:43:45.480 I guess maybe they are literary people. 01:43:45.480 --> 01:43:46.897 Well, good for us. 01:43:46.897 --> 01:43:48.785 Okay. Where would I find the list? 01:43:48.785 --> 01:43:50.600 Try “Directory. 01:43:50.600 --> 01:43:53.249 “Manned Missions.” 01:43:53.249 --> 01:43:54.779 This is all ISS stuff. 01:43:54.779 --> 01:43:57.293 Yeah, it’s not gonna be in there. 01:43:57.293 --> 01:43:59.122 Maybe it’s hidden somehow. 01:43:59.122 --> 01:44:01.172 We have clearance. We should be able to see it. 01:44:01.172 --> 01:44:02.741 Well, what if they removed it? 01:44:02.741 --> 01:44:04.440 Why would they remove it? 01:44:04.440 --> 01:44:06.240 They didn’t want hackers finding it. 01:44:06.240 --> 01:44:09.254 Maybe that program doesn’t exist in your timeline. 01:44:09.254 --> 01:44:10.335 It has to exist. 01:44:10.335 --> 01:44:12.100 No, it doesn’t. It’s a difference between our timelines. 01:44:12.100 --> 01:44:13.100 No, hang on. 01:44:13.100 --> 01:44:14.920 Look, we came here on a long shot. 01:44:14.920 --> 01:44:17.124 - There are other leads we can try - - Just hang on 01:44:17.124 --> 01:44:19.685 Could we use TempTech to contact someone in the nineties? 01:44:19.685 --> 01:44:22.656 Well, you were five then, and we can’t involve someone else. 01:44:22.656 --> 01:44:25.385 Besides, if I reach out from my timeline, there’s no grandfather paradox 01:44:25.385 --> 01:44:27.640 to stop your timeline from changing. 01:44:27.640 --> 01:44:31.252 So send me instead. 01:44:31.252 --> 01:44:33.257 Give me access to TempTech. 01:44:33.257 --> 01:44:37.146 Send me the software, and I can log in to Cooper’s account in nineteen-ninety-nine. 01:44:37.146 --> 01:44:39.758 There’s no possibility of me being caught, and I can’t change the timeline 01:44:39.758 --> 01:44:43.261 because I can only cause events that would have happened anyway. 01:44:43.261 --> 01:44:45.287 This is what the Fizzle Killer does, right? 01:44:45.287 --> 01:44:47.904 He uses the grandfather paradox to evade capture. 01:44:47.904 --> 01:44:49.843 We might as well catch him using his own loophole. 01:44:49.843 --> 01:44:51.610 I appreciate the poetry of that - 01:44:51.610 --> 01:44:53.585 Please don’t say we shouldn’t “stoop to his level.” 01:44:53.585 --> 01:44:54.904 I wasn’t going to say that. 01:44:54.904 --> 01:44:57.067 Well, you’re not saying “yes” either, so what are you saying? 01:44:57.067 --> 01:45:00.869 Do you want the list or not? 01:45:00.869 --> 01:45:02.260 You don’t trust me with it. 01:45:02.260 --> 01:45:03.916 That’s not true. 01:45:03.916 --> 01:45:06.425 You think once I get access to TempTech I’m not gonna complete the mission. 01:45:06.425 --> 01:45:08.895 You told me, if it was you, you’d take the money and run. 01:45:08.895 --> 01:45:10.841 Well, maybe I’m not doing this for me anymore. 01:45:10.841 --> 01:45:14.104 You asked me to trust you. I did. 01:45:14.104 --> 01:45:17.103 Now I need you to trust me. 01:45:17.103 --> 01:45:21.223 What version of Mac are you running? Sonora? 01:45:21.223 --> 01:45:24.226 Uh, Mojave. It’s probably the same - 01:45:24.226 --> 01:45:26.271 It’s probably the same thing. 01:45:26.271 --> 01:45:30.234 I’m sending you the software now. 01:45:30.234 --> 01:45:32.312 (A spacey sound) Oh, shit. 01:45:32.312 --> 01:45:33.986 Yeah, it takes up a lot of space. 01:45:33.986 --> 01:45:35.255 You might need to delete some po- 01:45:35.255 --> 01:45:37.887 No. I think Laurence Cooper just logged into his account. 01:45:37.887 --> 01:45:43.062 Fuck. Pretend to be someone else. 01:45:49.238 --> 01:45:50.672 David? 01:45:50.672 --> 01:45:54.188 Honesty is the best policy. 01:45:56.436 --> 01:45:57.816 (Another spacey sound) 01:45:57.816 --> 01:45:59.444 Shit. 01:45:59.444 --> 01:46:01.004 Just ward him off. 01:46:01.004 --> 01:46:04.594 Make him think you’re trying to help. 01:46:09.536 --> 01:46:10.886 (The sound again) 01:46:22.001 --> 01:46:23.001 (And again) 01:46:25.816 --> 01:46:27.396 Alright, good. 01:46:27.396 --> 01:46:29.439 No, fuck that. Just log out. 01:46:29.439 --> 01:46:30.743 Done. 01:46:30.743 --> 01:46:32.559 Alright, TempTech is installed. 01:46:32.559 --> 01:46:34.832 Just warning you, it’s gonna be a little weird at first. 01:46:34.832 --> 01:46:36.348 Weird how? (A futuristic sound) 01:46:36.348 --> 01:46:37.561 Oh, shit. 01:46:37.561 --> 01:46:39.844 That’s just a spacetime warp. It won’t hurt you. 01:46:39.844 --> 01:46:43.158 Better not fuck up my MacBook. 01:46:43.158 --> 01:46:44.599 Alright, what do I do now? 01:46:44.599 --> 01:46:46.841 Key yourself in to the year nineteen ninety-nine. 01:46:46.841 --> 01:46:48.795 Doesn’t matter what day or time. 01:46:48.795 --> 01:46:50.895 Alright. 01:46:50.895 --> 01:46:54.458 Wow. So this is what the Internet looked like in nineteen-ninety-nine. 01:46:54.458 --> 01:46:57.064 Yep, that’s exactly what it looked like. 01:46:57.064 --> 01:46:58.922 Alright, let’s head to NASA. 01:46:58.922 --> 01:47:00.039 Done. 01:47:00.039 --> 01:47:01.615 Log in as Laurence Cooper. 01:47:01.615 --> 01:47:04.651 Launch attack. 01:47:04.651 --> 01:47:05.463 Got it. 01:47:05.463 --> 01:47:09.577 The good news is the security’s gonna be much lower here. 01:47:09.577 --> 01:47:11.191 Found it. 01:47:11.191 --> 01:47:15.453 And... here’s the list. It’s not long, either. 01:47:15.453 --> 01:47:20.699 We could go through this today. Dude? 01:47:20.699 --> 01:47:23.968 Where’d you go? 01:47:23.968 --> 01:47:26.610 Are you still there? 01:48:07.218 --> 01:48:10.047 Look like you’ve seen a ghost. 01:48:10.047 --> 01:48:13.010 Dude, what the fuck is this? 01:48:13.010 --> 01:48:14.526 You tell me. 01:48:14.526 --> 01:48:18.388 It’s your timeline, I’m just living in it. 01:48:18.388 --> 01:48:20.586 This is my mother. 01:48:20.586 --> 01:48:23.308 She was one of the astronauts. 01:48:26.491 --> 01:48:29.201 You wanted me to find this. 01:48:29.201 --> 01:48:32.334 I wanted you to figure things out for yourself. 01:48:32.334 --> 01:48:34.540 Figure out what? 01:48:34.540 --> 01:48:38.672 Honesty is the best policy, David. 01:48:38.672 --> 01:48:40.334 So be honest with me. 01:48:40.334 --> 01:48:43.107 Be honest with yourself. What do you think? 01:48:43.107 --> 01:48:45.238 I’m not the Fizzle Killer. 01:48:45.238 --> 01:48:47.285 What makes you say that? 01:48:47.285 --> 01:48:48.520 Because I’m not like you. 01:48:48.520 --> 01:48:50.656 Are we really that different, David? 01:48:50.656 --> 01:48:52.618 I don’t kill people, for one thing. 01:48:52.618 --> 01:48:54.928 Not yet. 01:48:54.928 --> 01:48:59.060 I started with the Agency when I was a little older than you are. 01:48:59.060 --> 01:49:04.635 After a few years, I started killing. 01:49:04.635 --> 01:49:10.509 I realized I was aging faster than people around me, so I turned to cryogenics. 01:49:10.509 --> 01:49:12.564 You froze yourself? 01:49:12.564 --> 01:49:16.574 Couple of months, here and there. 01:49:16.574 --> 01:49:18.393 Offset the aging. 01:49:18.393 --> 01:49:20.373 You waste a lot of vacation time. 01:49:20.373 --> 01:49:23.930 But when you’re committed to something, 01:49:23.930 --> 01:49:25.610 it’s worth it. 01:49:25.610 --> 01:49:30.107 You think killing people is worth it? What is it worth? 01:49:30.107 --> 01:49:32.119 It’s worth living for. 01:49:32.119 --> 01:49:34.274 I had to kill those people. 01:49:34.274 --> 01:49:37.424 The timeline doesn’t allow for paradoxes, David 01:49:37.424 --> 01:49:40.391 Only I could have killed those people. 01:49:40.391 --> 01:49:42.315 That was my purpose. 01:49:42.315 --> 01:49:44.671 And it’s your purpose, too. 01:49:44.671 --> 01:49:46.005 That is not my purpose. 01:49:46.005 --> 01:49:48.213 That is a depressing ass purpose. 01:49:48.213 --> 01:49:50.412 If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be here. 01:49:50.412 --> 01:49:52.994 I tried other Davids, David 01:49:52.994 --> 01:49:55.905 They weren’t willing to go this far. 01:49:55.905 --> 01:49:57.474 You did. 01:49:57.474 --> 01:49:59.253 You’re the one who wants this. 01:49:59.253 --> 01:50:03.115 You offered to help me change my past, not make me a murderer. 01:50:03.115 --> 01:50:06.068 How do you think I became the Fizzle Killer? 01:50:06.068 --> 01:50:10.740 Someone came to me just like I came to you. 01:50:10.740 --> 01:50:16.036 David, the universe brought us together. 01:50:18.071 --> 01:50:20.297 It doesn’t make mistakes. 01:50:20.297 --> 01:50:22.588 Yeah, but you did. 01:50:22.588 --> 01:50:24.894 I won't become you. 01:50:24.894 --> 01:50:26.999 And I’m getting rid of TempTech right now. 01:50:26.999 --> 01:50:31.215 Go ahead. You’ll find your way back. 01:50:31.215 --> 01:50:33.580 First you’ll join the agency. 01:50:33.580 --> 01:50:34.983 I won’t join the agency. 01:50:34.983 --> 01:50:37.811 You’ll try to do good. You’ll fail. 01:50:37.811 --> 01:50:42.631 You might succeed, but only when the universe allows it. 01:50:42.631 --> 01:50:46.013 If you really think that, then why are you even here? 01:50:46.013 --> 01:50:47.841 Because I’m supposed to be. 01:50:47.841 --> 01:50:52.126 You think having no choice in what you do is a bad thing. 01:50:52.126 --> 01:50:55.542 But it’s not. 01:50:55.542 --> 01:51:02.782 There are no mistakes, there is no “good” or “bad,” the universe moves as it should. 01:51:02.782 --> 01:51:07.012 That’s not scary. It’s comforting. 01:51:07.012 --> 01:51:12.600 Everything that has happened was supposed to happen. 01:51:12.600 --> 01:51:15.915 If you don’t believe me, see for yourself. 01:51:15.915 --> 01:51:16.989 See what? 01:51:16.989 --> 01:51:19.988 Finish the mission. Erase the Fizzle Killer. 01:51:19.988 --> 01:51:22.490 You know who my mother is. 01:51:22.490 --> 01:51:24.196 You have TempTech. 01:51:24.196 --> 01:51:26.800 Go to my timeline, stop me from being born. 01:51:26.800 --> 01:51:30.413 You can do it right now, I won’t stop you. 01:51:34.406 --> 01:51:35.659 No. 01:51:35.659 --> 01:51:37.635 Because you’re afraid it won’t work? 01:51:37.635 --> 01:51:40.580 No. I think you want it to work. 01:51:40.580 --> 01:51:42.596 You want me to erase you. 01:51:42.596 --> 01:51:44.624 Because that’s what you would want? 01:51:44.624 --> 01:51:48.743 You know, I really thought we were past the edgelord shit. 01:51:48.743 --> 01:51:51.525 No, you want this because you don’t actually live for anything. 01:51:51.525 --> 01:51:54.613 I was right from the beginning, this is a fucking chain letter. 01:51:54.613 --> 01:51:58.305 Dude, I’m sorry another David came and convinced you 01:51:58.305 --> 01:52:01.998 this was what made your life meaningful, but it’s not. 01:52:01.998 --> 01:52:04.845 The only reason you’re doing this is because you want to prove 01:52:04.845 --> 01:52:07.977 that other Davids feel the same way you do, and none of them do. 01:52:07.977 --> 01:52:10.503 None of the other ones did, and neither do I. 01:52:10.503 --> 01:52:12.790 You don’t have to believe me now. 01:52:12.790 --> 01:52:23.786 But you will. You‘ll realize this is where you belong. 01:52:23.786 --> 01:52:26.110 The only thing I’ve realized is where you belong. 01:52:26.110 --> 01:52:31.012 And where is-- 01:52:31.012 --> 01:52:33.456 (Future David) David! 01:52:37.526 --> 01:52:42.640 Really? You know you can’t just walk away from me 01:52:44.470 --> 01:52:46.010 (Future David) You’ll be back! 01:52:46.010 --> 01:52:50.672 I know. I’ll have to sell that TV to pay my rent this month. 01:52:50.672 --> 01:52:53.410 So Amelia tells me your boss ran out on you. 01:52:53.410 --> 01:52:56.329 Yeah, he had to do some kinda undercover thing. 01:52:56.329 --> 01:52:57.683 He say where he went? 01:52:57.683 --> 01:53:00.720 Nah, he’s keeping a lid on the whole thing. 01:53:00.720 --> 01:53:03.031 What’s he doin’? Livin’ in someone’s dumpster? 01:53:04.521 --> 01:53:05.872 Yeah. 01:53:05.872 --> 01:53:08.673 He’s nuts. What’d I tell ya? 01:53:08.673 --> 01:53:13.043 You follow someone too closely, pretty soon you’re as crazy as them. 01:53:13.043 --> 01:53:14.690 So what are you gonna do? 01:53:14.690 --> 01:53:17.255 Amy set me up with a music journalism gig. 01:53:17.255 --> 01:53:19.808 Music journalism? Is that still a thing? 01:53:19.808 --> 01:53:23.140 You’re just jumpin’ from one dyin’ industry to another. 01:53:23.140 --> 01:53:24.287 They’re all dying. 01:53:24.287 --> 01:53:27.168 Yeah, but next thing you know you’ll be workin’ in a cemetery. 01:53:27.168 --> 01:53:29.494 Everybody’s dying to get in. 01:53:29.494 --> 01:53:31.236 Isn’t that what you said? Everybody’s dying? 01:53:31.236 --> 01:53:33.857 Yeah, I’ll eat my own words on that one. 01:53:33.857 --> 01:53:36.119 Good. You can have that instead of Brilliant Pebbles. 01:53:36.124 --> 01:53:38.663 Oh, you want me to talk about Russia again? 01:53:38.663 --> 01:53:41.306 - It was nineteen-eighty-eight. - I'm not listening to this. 01:53:41.306 --> 01:53:44.900 - Reagan and Gorbachev - - I'm not listening to this 01:53:44.900 --> 01:53:47.286 Amy! Shut it down! 01:53:47.286 --> 01:53:49.676 I’m tryin’ to teach you history. 01:53:49.676 --> 01:53:51.746 I know. You’re just very bad at it. 01:53:54.361 --> 01:53:57.202 Phil, be honest with me for a second. 01:53:57.202 --> 01:53:58.634 I’m always honest with you. 01:53:58.634 --> 01:53:59.871 No, seriously. 01:53:59.871 --> 01:54:01.798 Oh, now we’re serious all of a sudden. 01:54:01.798 --> 01:54:06.118 Go ahead, I got nothin’ better to do. 01:54:06.118 --> 01:54:08.617 Why did Mom leave? 01:54:11.577 --> 01:54:17.062 I told you. She had somethin’ important to do. 01:54:17.062 --> 01:54:20.954 She didn’t wanna leave us. But she had to. 01:54:20.954 --> 01:54:23.019 Where’d she go? 01:54:23.019 --> 01:54:27.612 Honestly? I dunno. 01:54:27.612 --> 01:54:31.470 I don’t think anyone knows. Not even her. 01:54:34.518 --> 01:54:37.955 I’m sorry, Phil. I know that was hard for - 01:54:37.955 --> 01:54:40.182 Oh God. Alright, we had the serious talk, 01:54:40.182 --> 01:54:43.339 can we shift to a lighter topic of conversation? 01:54:43.339 --> 01:54:46.722 Sure. How’d it go at the doctor? 01:54:46.722 --> 01:54:47.857 How is that light? 01:54:47.857 --> 01:54:50.931 Depending on the answer, it could be pretty funny. 01:54:50.931 --> 01:54:53.321 It’s just bronchitis and dehydration. 01:54:53.321 --> 01:54:54.358 What’d I tell you? 01:54:54.358 --> 01:54:56.271 Your sister worries too much. 01:54:56.271 --> 01:54:59.095 Unless I get hit by a truck, I’m not dyin’ anytime soon. 01:54:59.095 --> 01:55:00.188 Aw. 01:55:00.188 --> 01:55:03.413 I know, all that planning for nothing. 01:55:03.413 --> 01:55:08.774 You don’t understand; I ordered a Cookie Puss from Carvel. 01:55:08.774 --> 01:55:11.449 Seriously though, Phil, I’m glad you’re alright. 01:55:13.129 --> 01:55:14.421 Yeah, me too. 01:55:14.421 --> 01:55:16.659 Alright, I gotta go piss out some Skittles. 01:55:16.659 --> 01:55:17.804 Thanks for callin’. 01:55:17.804 --> 01:55:19.194 Let’s do it again next week. 01:55:19.194 --> 01:55:20.753 Can you recover by then? 01:55:20.753 --> 01:55:21.995 From pissin’ or from you? 01:55:21.995 --> 01:55:25.146 From me? You realize you’re the one I get all this from, right? 01:55:25.146 --> 01:55:26.499 What’d I say? 01:55:26.499 --> 01:55:28.046 Don’t follow people too closely. 01:55:28.046 --> 01:55:29.793 Never know what’s gonna come out the other end. 01:55:29.793 --> 01:55:33.340 Don’t worry, Amy’s told me exactly what comes out your other end. 01:55:33.340 --> 01:55:39.183 What?! Amelia! I told you, she’s like fuckin’ NASA. Amelia! 01:55:39.183 --> 01:55:43.457 - What? I’m making puppets. - Are you telling him all my secrets? 01:55:43.457 --> 01:55:46.629 (Amy) Well, someone has to. You don’t tell anyone anything. 01:55:46.629 --> 01:55:49.382 When have I ever been less than honest with you? 01:55:49.382 --> 01:55:51.367 (Amy) You really have to ask that? 01:55:51.367 --> 01:55:53.665 Dave, back me up here. 01:56:27.705 --> 01:56:33.627 ♪ (Rhythmic music) ♪ 01:57:00.950 --> 01:57:05.157 (A phone ringtone) 01:57:11.715 --> 01:57:13.346 Hello? 01:57:13.346 --> 01:57:15.150 Howdy, am I speaking to David? 01:57:15.150 --> 01:57:16.951 Uh, which one? 01:57:16.951 --> 01:57:20.844 Hi, David. This is Larry C. I work for STAB. 01:57:20.844 --> 01:57:24.424 We’ve been speaking about your interest in our program over the past few days. 01:57:24.424 --> 01:57:26.391 Yeah, we haven’t been speaking. 01:57:26.391 --> 01:57:29.583 You’ve kinda just been sending me unsolicited messages. 01:57:29.583 --> 01:57:31.918 But we have spoken. 01:57:31.918 --> 01:57:36.249 In fact, I’m pleased as a first-prize pickle about your recent interest in STAB. 01:57:36.249 --> 01:57:40.267 Dude, I’m not interested. I don’t even know what STAB is. 01:57:40.267 --> 01:57:43.140 We’re a new subdivision of NASA. 01:57:43.140 --> 01:57:46.348 The “Space Time Adjustment Bureau.” STAB. 01:57:46.348 --> 01:57:48.634 Not the most inviting name, is it? 01:57:48.634 --> 01:57:50.342 We’ll change it someday. 01:57:50.342 --> 01:57:53.130 What did you say your name was again? 01:57:53.130 --> 01:57:58.710 Larry. But my government name is Laurence. 01:57:58.710 --> 01:58:01.428 Laurence Cooper. 01:58:01.428 --> 01:58:05.142 You know, I’ve been looking for you for quite some time, David. 01:58:05.142 --> 01:58:07.909 About twenty years, as a matter of fact. 01:58:07.909 --> 01:58:12.819 I’ve been trying to figure out how I got hacked in nineteen-ninety-nine 01:58:12.819 --> 01:58:18.237 from a MacBook that wasn’t manufactured until two-thousand fifteen. 01:58:18.237 --> 01:58:22.741 That sounds rough. You should ask Apple about that. 01:58:22.741 --> 01:58:26.770 That sounds like some Terminator shit, don’t it? 01:58:26.770 --> 01:58:31.355 I thought maybe the Woz beat us to the punch and built time travel computers. 01:58:31.355 --> 01:58:34.104 Boy, was I wrong. 01:58:34.104 --> 01:58:36.143 But I waited. 01:58:36.143 --> 01:58:40.206 I waited like a snake hunting shrews. 01:58:40.206 --> 01:58:44.385 Finally, I tracked down that MacBook and it led me to you. 01:58:44.385 --> 01:58:46.616 And then I waited some more, 01:58:46.616 --> 01:58:50.409 sent some messages hoping you’d take the bait. 01:58:50.409 --> 01:58:56.103 And boy did you take it when you hacked into my account the other day. 01:58:56.103 --> 01:59:01.117 Now, what I don’t understand is, how did a wannabe writer 01:59:01.117 --> 01:59:06.132 with a deadbeat dad and a stay-at-home sister get access to that kind of technology? 01:59:06.132 --> 01:59:10.134 But I know you can tell me. 01:59:17.430 --> 01:59:19.951 You still there, David? 01:59:19.951 --> 01:59:23.247 David, are you still there? 01:59:23.247 --> 01:59:29.141 Yep. I’m still here.