[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.37,0:00:06.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love is our highest value, what we all crave\Nand what we believe makes us fundamentally
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.22,0:00:14.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,human, but it is also the source of considerable\Nanxiety. Chiefly, we worry whether we are
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.08,0:00:18.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,entirely normal because it frequently feels\Nas if we are not experiencing love the way
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.98,0:00:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we should be. Society is subtly highly prescriptive\Nin this regard. It suggests that to be a decent
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.50,0:00:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,person, we should all be within sexual relationships\Nand furthermore, that within these, we should
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.37,0:00:37.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,‘love’ in a very particular way: we should\Nbe constantly thrilled by our partner’s
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.79,0:00:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,presence, we should long to see them after\Nevery absence, we should crave to hold them
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.75,0:00:47.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our arms, to kiss and be kissed by them\Nand – most of all – want to have sex with
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.29,0:00:53.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,them every day or so. In other words, we should\Nfollow the script of Romantic ecstasy throughout
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.96,0:01:01.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our lives. This is beautiful in theory and\Nhugely punitive in practice. If we’re going
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.05,0:01:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to define love like this and peg the idea\Nof normality accordingly, then most of us
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.21,0:01:12.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will have to admit to ourselves (with considerable\Nembarrassment) that we don’t know much about
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.21,0:01:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love – and therefore don’t qualify as\Ndecent, sane, or normal people. We’ve created
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.87,0:01:25.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a cult of love radically out of line with\Nmost of our real experiences of relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.95,0:01:31.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is where the Ancient Greeks can help.\NThey realised early on that there are many
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.14,0:01:37.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kinds of love, each with their respective\Nvirtues and seasons – and that a good society
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.29,0:01:43.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,requires us to append a correct vocabulary\Nto these different states of the heart, lending
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.16,0:01:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each one legitimacy in the process. The Greeks\Nanointed the powerful physical feelings we
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.56,0:01:55.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,often experience at the start of a relationship\Nwith the word ‘eros’ (ἔρως) . But
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.03,0:02:00.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they knew that love is not necessarily over\Nwhen this sexual intensity wanes, as it almost
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.81,0:02:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always does after a year or so in a relationship.\NOur feelings can then evolve into another
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.16,0:02:12.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sort of love they captured with the word ‘philia’\N(φιλία) normally translated as ‘friendship’
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.100,0:02:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,though the Greek word is far warmer, more\Nloyal and more touching than its English counterpart;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.45,0:02:23.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one might be willing to die for ‘philia’.\NAristotle recommended that we outgrow eros
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.99,0:02:29.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in youth, and then base our relationships\N– especially our marriages – on a philosophy
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.29,0:02:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of philia. The word adds an important nuance\Nto our understanding of a viable union. It
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.31,0:02:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,allows us to see that we may still love even\Nwhen we are in a phase that our own, more
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.64,0:02:49.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one-sided vocabulary fails to value. The Greeks\Nhad a third word for love: agape (ἀγάπη).
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.39,0:02:54.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This can be best translated as a charitable\Nlove. It’s what we might feel towards someone
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.22,0:02:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has behaved rather badly or come to grief\Nthrough flaws of character – but for whom
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.00,0:03:04.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we still feel compassion. It’s what a God\Nmight feel for his or her people, or what
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.45,0:03:09.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an audience might feel for a tragic character\Nin a play. It’s the kind of love that we
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.51,0:03:15.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experience in relation to someone’s weakness\Nrather than their strength. It reminds us
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.40,0:03:22.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that love isn’t just about admiration for\Nvirtues, it’s also about sympathy and generosity
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.07,0:03:29.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards what is fragile and imperfect in us.\NHaving these three words to hand – eros,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.54,0:03:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,philia and agape – powerfully extends our\Nsense of what love really is. The Ancient
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.89,0:03:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Greeks were wise in dividing the blinding\Nmonolith of love into its constituent parts.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.28,0:03:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Under their tutelage, we can see that we probably\Nhave far more love in our lives than our current
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.64,0:03:51.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vocabulary knows how to recognise.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.20,0:03:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,did you know that The School Of Life is actually a place?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.16,0:04:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ten places in fact. Campus' all over the world from Melbourne to London, Taipie to Istanbul.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.52,0:00:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With classes and books and much more. Please click on the link below to explore more.