WEBVTT
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Ahmad Helmi
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Black Honey
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Amazing, amazing, this Mahmoud Yasin guy is amazing
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I'm sorry I woke you.Frankly, I thought you'd died!
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Truthfully, I didn't wake up because of your voice.
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I woke up because no one could ever laugh at Mahmoud Yasin.
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That's Ismail Yasiin.
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Oh, okay, well in that case, I'll laugh more!
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I got a little confused with the names.
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What, has it been a long time since you visited Egypt?
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Around... 20 years.
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No... 20 years?! Oh man...you're going to find you don't know anything anymore.
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Eh, what are you talking about?
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My dad talked about Egypt a lot.
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But, you know, he's dead now.
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Oh, may he rest in peace.
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Yes, God rest his soul.
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Ok, night.
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Where are we now?
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What's wrong with you, you weren't sleeping before.
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Oh yeah...I had a long day of work before this.
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What exactly do you do again?
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I'm a photographer.
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What's this? You took this picture?
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And you're coming to Egypt for work, or a visit, or to stay?
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All three. I'm coming for all three.
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I have a photography exhibition in New York
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so I said I'd make the exhibition about Egypt, you know
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And also, God willing, I settle down after that.
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God willing.
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I'm so happy I'll get to spend some of the Ramadan mornings there
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and breaking the fast, and suhur, you know.
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And you know, I also really want to see the show Phawazeer.
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Oh, no, that show's not on anymore.
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What do you mean?
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It's done, been gone for a long time now.
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They cancelled it, really?
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And that actress Nilly, what she's doing now then?
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She's doing action movies in the summer now.
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Night.
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You're going to sleep again?
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"Huge Fire in Giza"
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What's up?
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I don't know, it's like the fire is touching my hands.
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Well, would you put it out please? I want to sleep.
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And why'd you cover me with newspapers?
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It's like a crime scene.
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Sorry, sorry.
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Sorry, if you don't mind -
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I want the foreigners' form. I have an American passport.
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Excuse me, I also have an American passport.
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but I didn't bring it with me, and I have an Egyptian passport with me.
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Is that a problem?
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No, no, that's no problem. But you really should have brought it.
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Oh, but it's okay then?
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Yeah, it's okay, but why didn't you bring it?
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Why would I bring it - so I can be treated as a foriegner in my own country?
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Ahh, right.
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What's this? It's only in Arabic; no English.
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Yeah, of course.
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But yours is in English.
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Right, because I have an American passport with me.
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You speak Egyptian well.
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Because of movies and TV shows. I watch them all the time.
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Oh, great.
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I'm fine, I'm fine.
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Just the difference in pressure...
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And when will you return to the US?
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I'm just spending Ramadan, and then I'll head back.
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Go ahead.
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You two together?
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Everyone's for themself.
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Wait behind the line, please.
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When did you leave Egypt?
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I think it was at night.
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Was it before or after the Tv shows?
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I can't remember...it was years ago.
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Masri Sayed al-Arabi....
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Please check this passport.
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And you stand to the side here.
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This pillow - you took it from the airplane, or what?
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No, it's not a pillow, it's my laptop.
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You, what's your name...
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Masri, Masri, Sayed al-Arabi.
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Welcome to Egypt.
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Limousine, sir, limousine.
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Limousine, sir, limousine.
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Limousine!
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limousine?
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Ah, excuse me?
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Limousine, sir. It's a very best.
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-Thank you. I want to go Hotel -
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"anta ayiza..." You're Egyptian, I don't give rides to Egyptians. Only foreigners.
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Why, what's wrong with the Egyptians?
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Oh, they're a big pain.
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What are you saying? I don't understand at all. Aren't you Egyptian?
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Oh ok, clearly you don't understand anything. Great, then I can drive you!
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A thousand welcomes!
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Your car, is it a sedan or a van?
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What was the second one?
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A van. The car that has a door like this, you open it and it comes back to you.
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And it comes back with empty hands? What a loss.
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It's like a drawer.
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A drawer? Oh, you mean a sliding door!
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Yeah, yeah! That's the word.
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Yes, that's my car exactly.
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What's this? This isn't a van.
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I asked you if your car was a van and you told me yes. This is not a van.
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But you said a van comes with a sliding door, and this is it.
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Is this or isn't this a sliding door?
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Yeah, it slides...I should have been more exact with my wording.
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And where do I sit?
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In front.
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Where do I throw this?
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I'll have beans for breakfast. Will you "hit" with me?
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"Hit?" You mean eat? So "hit" means "eat" nowadays?
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You know, I missed these beans so much.
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This is beans with sauce, right?
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Oh, right, I forgot. How much was the sandwich?
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60 gineih.
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60 gineih, okay.
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Oh, but, I'm sorry, I don't have any Egyptian money on me yet.
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Don't worry about it. I'll change it for you - better that than somebody trick you.
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Fool me? You don't know me; I could fool the whole country.
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But tell me, how much is the exchange rate?
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Two hundred gineih.
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OK, then let's get some water, and some rice pudding, something sweet.
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How much was this water?
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Thirty gineih.
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Okay, I have one thousand gineih left, thanks.
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Where do we throw these things?
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You're just going to throw it like that in the street?!
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Don't worry, they clean and sweep them.
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We have to find something to put these in.
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You're laughing?
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Delicious. So, so good!
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I don't even know what to say!
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I've only got this left, would you change it for me?
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Can I make a call from your phone?
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What's this? You're carrying the biggest phone in your pocket.
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Hey, slow down, we might get in an accident.
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It was his fault.
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Ok, ok, but the street is crowded. I'll call for you, ok?
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Zero.
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One-eyn.
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"One-eyn?"
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Yeah.
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Oh..."one one" you mean.
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Okay - wait wait wait!
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Did you get ?
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Yeah, I got it.
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I have many things to show you later.
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Now bye, I don't want to keep you. No, I won't be late.
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Oh shit...how long was that?
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Don't worry. To be honest, I always forget my phone at home
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and my wife is sick, so I had to call.
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And what does that have to do with me?
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I'll drop you here; I'm not allowed to go in. I'm a driver.
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No, no, leave it on me.
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What is this craziness? Hey!
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The bill!
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The bill? Didn't you just tell me to forget about it?
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You believed that? That was just politeness!
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Ok, ok, no need to repeat yourself.
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What's this? I want one hundred dollars.
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You mean two hundred gineih? No, you think I'm stupid?
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Are you going to take this, or should I just go?
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You think you can cheat me? Where are you going to go?
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Someday you'll need me, and then what will you do?!
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The nationalities are different. I need the passport you used to make the reservation.
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I didn't bring it. I brought my Egyptian one.
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I don't understand what the problem is, but ok
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We can cancel the reservation I made with the American one
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and reserve a new one with my Egyptian passport.
00:13:09.165 --> 00:13:12.338
I can't cancel a reservation for another person's room. The person whomade the reservation must cancel.
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It's the same person. I'm him, same person.
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Sorry, sir, but as far as I'm concerned, it's two people - American and Egyptian.
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Oh my god.
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OK, ok, can you reserve something for me with this?
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Any room I could sleep in? I'm tired.
00:13:29.936 --> 00:13:33.477
I'm very sorry, Mr. Masri, but we don't have any empty rooms.
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What should I do?
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You could try another hotel.
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Sir, are you Saudi?
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No, no.
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Kuwaiti?
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No.
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Then what are you, sir?
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I'm Egyptian.
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Egyptian? Oh, excellent, you should have told me from the beginning.
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Ok, thank you
00:13:54.370 --> 00:13:58.282
Room, room, room...
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I'm sorry sir, I don't have any empty rooms.
00:14:01.337 --> 00:14:05.770
No, no, please, I can't - I mean, I'll do anything.
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I can even make myself foreign, Japanese, look
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I was just giving my eyes a rest.
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I only have a suite, but it's a little expensive.
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Two thousand dollars a night.
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What? My god, it's theft...
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Beg pardon??
00:14:18.437 --> 00:14:22.036
No no, sorry, not you. I was thinking of someone else.
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Ok, book me that. Book it.
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Shit.
00:14:54.569 --> 00:15:01.037
And what about breakfast?
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Wow.
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Egypt.
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Here I come.
00:15:10.937 --> 00:15:19.270
Hi, welcome sir.
00:15:19.270 --> 00:15:21.302
I want to rent a car, please.
00:15:21.302 --> 00:15:22.337
Are you a guest here?
00:15:22.337 --> 00:15:29.836
Yeah, suite .
00:15:29.836 --> 00:15:32.269
Sorry, are you Egyptian?
00:15:32.269 --> 00:15:34.539
Yeah, yeah, I'm Egyptian. Yes.
00:15:34.539 --> 00:15:41.504
Ah...then you'll have to sign on this paper.
00:15:41.504 --> 00:15:43.604
I was thinking you were a foreigner.
00:15:43.604 --> 00:15:46.075
Your hair style, you know.
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I was living abroad.
00:15:47.481 --> 00:15:48.313
Welcome back.
00:15:48.313 --> 00:15:51.770
I'd like a four by four.
00:15:51.770 --> 00:15:56.905
Four by four...ok. This is the Chevrolet Captiva , full options.
00:15:56.905 --> 00:16:00.203
Ok, I'd also like it to have GPS.
00:16:00.203 --> 00:16:03.270
GPS - oh! You mean the navigator?
00:16:03.270 --> 00:16:04.159
Sorry?
00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:08.104
Navigator. To know the addresses.
00:16:08.104 --> 00:16:14.975
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:14.975 --> 00:16:20.670
al-haram, haram. (haram=pyramids)
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OK.
00:16:32.005 --> 00:16:45.604
"The Pyramids."
00:16:45.604 --> 00:16:51.104
These are the pyramids?
00:16:51.104 --> 00:16:55.770
Stop. Stop already. Stop lying.
00:16:55.770 --> 00:16:59.035
So what should I type here in order to get where I'm going?
00:16:59.035 --> 00:17:01.338
What? There's nothing wrong with your stereo.
00:17:01.338 --> 00:17:04.483
The stereo? No - I mean - I guess it's kind of low.
00:17:04.483 --> 00:17:06.822
Oh, it works! Thank you, thank you.
00:17:06.822 --> 00:17:07.671
Everything ok now?
00:17:07.671 --> 00:17:08.974
Do you need anything else?
00:17:08.974 --> 00:17:14.770
Thank you.
00:17:14.770 --> 00:17:23.308
The stereo...?
00:17:23.308 --> 00:17:28.891
Excuse me, I was just wondering how I get to the pyramids.
00:17:28.891 --> 00:17:31.505
Why are you here? You should go "astareit" down this street, right ahead.
00:17:31.505 --> 00:17:33.237
What? Astareit?
00:17:33.237 --> 00:17:34.738
Astareit!
00:17:34.738 --> 00:17:35.640
Oh, you mean straight.
00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:37.438
After that, make elooturn and come back this way.
00:17:37.438 --> 00:17:38.226
Make a what?
00:17:38.226 --> 00:17:39.403
Looturn!
00:17:39.403 --> 00:17:40.838
U-turn, u-turn...
00:17:40.838 --> 00:17:42.269
It's like you don't understand English or something.
00:17:42.269 --> 00:18:04.904
What the heck?!
00:18:04.904 --> 00:18:08.061
one sweet word, or two words
00:18:08.061 --> 00:18:11.569
oh my country, you're beautiful
00:18:11.569 --> 00:18:14.937
one beautiful song or two
00:18:14.937 --> 00:18:46.772
oh my beautiful country
00:18:46.772 --> 00:18:52.103
Yes, yes!
00:18:52.103 --> 00:19:05.488
God.
00:19:05.488 --> 00:19:08.669
Excuse me. I'd like to ride a horse.
00:19:08.669 --> 00:19:13.737
That's all? Certainly, sir- and here's my card.
00:19:13.737 --> 00:19:14.988
Thank you.
00:19:14.988 --> 00:19:16.319
Not at all.
00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:20.870
Boy! Bring the first horse.
00:19:20.870 --> 00:19:22.225
You're from Lebanon, right?
00:19:22.225 --> 00:19:23.808
No, no, I'm Egyptian.
00:19:23.808 --> 00:19:26.937
Egyptian? From Egypt? The mother of all countries!
00:19:26.937 --> 00:19:28.435
Welcome, welcome.
00:19:28.435 --> 00:19:33.436
Boy! Bring the SECOND horse. The second.
00:19:33.436 --> 00:19:34.236
Thanks.
00:19:34.236 --> 00:19:45.144
Not at all, not at all.
00:19:45.144 --> 00:19:47.102
Hey, hey, why did you stop?
00:19:47.102 --> 00:19:53.505
Come on. Oh, sorry - come one, let's go.
00:19:53.505 --> 00:19:56.203
Go.
00:19:56.203 --> 00:19:57.323
Hey, move!
00:19:57.323 --> 00:20:08.143
Hey, are you Egyptian or not, come on. Walk!
00:20:08.143 --> 00:20:13.609
What, should I carry you?
00:20:13.609 --> 00:20:15.006
Hello?
00:20:15.006 --> 00:20:19.837
This horse I've got, how do I get him to go?
00:20:19.837 --> 00:20:23.311
He's looking at the ground like he lost something.
00:20:23.311 --> 00:20:25.171
Why'd you give me such an old model?
00:20:25.171 --> 00:20:27.241
My god! Didn't I give you a good one?
00:20:27.241 --> 00:20:30.976
A good one? He needs a wheelchair!
00:20:30.976 --> 00:20:33.404
Oh, oh, what the hell -
00:20:33.404 --> 00:20:35.769
Also, I think its radiator's busted.
00:20:35.769 --> 00:20:39.436
Bad? Ok, just tell him "Zeko, time to go back to the stable."
00:20:39.436 --> 00:20:41.205
He'll run right away.
00:20:41.205 --> 00:20:43.641
No you tell him. He's right here.
00:20:43.641 --> 00:20:45.674
Say hi.
00:20:45.674 --> 00:20:47.837
No problem, his dad just wants to tell him something.
00:20:47.837 --> 00:20:49.703
"Come on, Zeko, back to the stable quick."
00:20:49.703 --> 00:20:52.725
Hey! Hey, hey, wait!
00:20:52.725 --> 00:20:53.743
Stop, stop!
00:20:53.743 --> 00:21:58.035
Hey come back!
00:21:58.035 --> 00:21:59.226
Peace be upon you.
00:21:59.226 --> 00:22:01.436
And upon you.
00:22:01.436 --> 00:22:06.071
Where are my shoes?
00:22:06.071 --> 00:22:13.414
Oh no. Mine weren't like this.
00:22:13.414 --> 00:22:15.317
You're not going to find them, son.
00:22:15.317 --> 00:22:16.810
You took your shoes inside?
00:22:16.810 --> 00:22:18.369
God will compensate you for them.
00:22:18.369 --> 00:22:19.319
You mean they're lost?
00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:21.904
No, not lost. Stolen.
00:22:21.904 --> 00:22:25.369
What? Stolen? How am I supposed to walk now?
00:22:25.369 --> 00:22:27.305
Go ahead and take these wooden sandals.
00:22:27.305 --> 00:22:28.318
Wooden sandals?
00:22:28.318 --> 00:22:29.904
Of course, don't you know them?
00:22:29.904 --> 00:22:32.770
Weren't you ever hit with them when you were a child?
00:22:32.770 --> 00:22:37.504
No. Ok, thank you - how much do I owe you?
00:22:37.504 --> 00:22:39.233
No, no, no, that's free.
00:22:39.233 --> 00:22:40.603
Free?
00:22:40.603 --> 00:22:41.339
Yes.
00:22:41.339 --> 00:22:43.537
Ok, thank you.
00:22:43.537 --> 00:22:46.035
Oh, shit...I'm sorry.
00:22:46.035 --> 00:22:50.337
What an awful sound.
00:22:50.337 --> 00:23:18.004
Ok thanks. Thank you.
00:23:18.004 --> 00:23:20.937
Looks like we've got some problems this morning.
00:23:20.937 --> 00:23:22.836
Hey, move.
00:23:22.836 --> 00:23:24.337
What is your nationality?
00:23:24.337 --> 00:23:25.658
I'm Egyptian.
00:23:25.658 --> 00:23:27.671
Egyptian? This guy's looking for trouble.
00:23:27.671 --> 00:23:29.603
Hey, hey, what's going on?
00:23:29.603 --> 00:23:30.672
Do you have a photography license?
00:23:30.672 --> 00:23:32.666
No. No one told me.
00:23:32.666 --> 00:23:33.811
No one told you?
00:23:33.811 --> 00:23:37.477
No? And no one told you you're carrying a cannon with zoom?
00:23:37.477 --> 00:23:40.060
Oh, shut up, crazy! What are you wearing?
00:23:40.060 --> 00:23:41.738
Shorts, and those wood sandals on your feet...
00:23:41.738 --> 00:23:47.703
Get him in the car.
00:23:47.703 --> 00:23:54.904
Shut up you monkey, let's go!
00:23:54.904 --> 00:23:55.935
Answer me!
00:23:55.935 --> 00:23:58.204
Oh shit, what the hell are you doing, man?
00:23:58.204 --> 00:24:05.905
Look at me. I need proof of your ID.
00:24:05.905 --> 00:24:08.571
Or an co-signer with an ID to guarantee your are who you say.
00:24:08.571 --> 00:24:09.770
Otherwise, you'll be thrown put in a cage.
00:24:09.770 --> 00:24:10.905
What do you mean, a cage?
00:24:10.905 --> 00:24:11.970
Stop playing dumb!
00:24:11.970 --> 00:24:13.303
I swear, I don't understand!
00:24:13.303 --> 00:24:21.837
Jail him. I want to have breakfast.
00:24:21.837 --> 00:24:26.141
Hello? Hi? Can I speak to Radi?
00:24:26.141 --> 00:24:30.809
Yeah, yeah, I'm a client.
00:24:30.809 --> 00:24:37.406
I'm Masri, Masri - you gave me a ride from the airport.
00:24:37.406 --> 00:24:39.475
Just listen to me please
00:24:39.475 --> 00:24:41.707
I'm - right now I'm -
00:24:41.707 --> 00:24:42.769
what's this place called?
00:24:42.769 --> 00:24:44.603
Tell them you're imprisoned in the police station.
00:24:44.603 --> 00:24:46.169
Imprisoned! This is just temporary!
00:24:46.169 --> 00:24:49.104
Just tell them you're at the police station of "Qasr al-Nile"
00:24:49.104 --> 00:24:50.770
And you need a co-signer.
00:24:50.770 --> 00:24:55.839
Rad, I'm at the Qasr al-Nile police station and I need someone to co-signfor me.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:58.405
To verify my identity. So I can go.
00:24:58.405 --> 00:25:00.502
Please?
00:25:00.502 --> 00:25:04.570
Ok, thank you, thank you.
00:25:04.570 --> 00:25:11.404
Happy now? He responded? Eat your breakfast.
00:25:11.404 --> 00:25:12.738
Have some.
00:25:12.738 --> 00:25:14.740
No, no, I have enough, thanks.
00:25:14.740 --> 00:25:20.565
You know what, I like this position.
00:25:20.565 --> 00:25:27.739
It's very healthy.
00:25:27.739 --> 00:25:30.370
Everything's fine sir! Get up, get up.
00:25:30.370 --> 00:25:33.146
He called someone to come for him?
00:25:33.146 --> 00:25:35.273
Someone's coming?
00:25:35.273 --> 00:25:36.492
Yes, there's a guy coming, sir.
00:25:36.492 --> 00:25:38.476
As soon as he's done with breakfast, take him to the entertainment room.
00:25:38.476 --> 00:25:42.337
No, no thanks, I don't want entertainment. I just want to leave.
00:25:42.337 --> 00:25:46.945
No, no, before you leave you have to have some entertainment. Take him.
00:25:46.945 --> 00:25:48.019
Let me entertain you.
00:25:48.019 --> 00:26:12.834
I don't want it!
00:26:12.834 --> 00:26:15.644
Frankly, I don't recognize him.
00:26:15.644 --> 00:26:18.405
I told you you would need me one day.
00:26:18.405 --> 00:26:23.337
You finished? Do you know him or not?
00:26:23.337 --> 00:26:25.836
Take this and please help me.
00:26:25.836 --> 00:26:28.104
With this much, I only recognize your lower half.
00:26:28.104 --> 00:26:31.324
They need your upper half too.
00:26:31.324 --> 00:26:33.072
Ok, consider this for the upper half.
00:26:33.072 --> 00:26:35.508
Just a little more, so I can recognize you well.
00:26:35.508 --> 00:26:40.237
Ok, this is all - you'd better be able to recognize me even from behind.
00:26:40.237 --> 00:26:46.474
Oh! Mr. Masri! You've changed since last night!
00:26:46.474 --> 00:26:49.169
OK, enough. Take your stuff and your ID.
00:26:49.169 --> 00:26:50.667
You should be grateful to get your stuff back.
00:26:50.667 --> 00:26:54.170
We just erased the photos.
00:26:54.170 --> 00:26:58.500
How could you erase my pictures?
00:26:58.500 --> 00:27:04.736
I'm an Egyptian citizen and I have Egyptian rights!
00:27:04.736 --> 00:27:07.938
And I'm an Egyptian officer. Laws give me permission to do this.
00:27:07.938 --> 00:27:13.104
If you were a criminal, I would have done much worse!
00:27:13.104 --> 00:27:17.309
Ok, but I'm not a criminal, and I still got screwed.
00:27:17.309 --> 00:27:21.004
Now what are you going to do to me. Mess me up more?
00:27:21.004 --> 00:27:23.703
Fine, go ahead.
00:27:23.703 --> 00:27:24.436
Go ahead.
00:27:24.436 --> 00:27:25.804
Fine. Imaad!
00:27:25.804 --> 00:27:29.602
No, nonono ok - I'll see myself out.
00:27:29.602 --> 00:27:36.669
Come on Radi.
00:27:36.669 --> 00:27:38.152
I'm going to send for my American passport immediately
00:27:38.152 --> 00:27:40.107
and get revenge on all of you!
00:27:40.107 --> 00:27:41.656
You first!
00:27:41.656 --> 00:27:43.815
Me? I just saved you!
00:27:43.815 --> 00:27:45.008
Sure, but after what?
00:27:45.008 --> 00:27:51.868
After driving me crazy! You used me!
00:27:51.868 --> 00:27:56.571
Your name would be better off Wati, rather than Radi. (wati = low, pathetic)
00:27:56.571 --> 00:27:57.268
Wati?
00:27:57.268 --> 00:27:58.403
Yes, Wati!
00:27:58.403 --> 00:28:02.738
Hey, hey Radi!
00:28:02.738 --> 00:28:06.974
I only answer to "Sir Radi."
00:28:06.974 --> 00:28:14.936
What? Sir? Get out of here, no way.
00:28:14.936 --> 00:28:16.738
Isn't it a little early to go back to the hotel, Sir Radi?
00:28:16.738 --> 00:28:20.393
Take a breath, okay?
00:28:20.393 --> 00:28:20.506
Okay, Radi.
00:28:20.506 --> 00:28:22.645
Radi?!
00:28:22.645 --> 00:30:05.002
Sir Radi.
00:30:05.002 --> 00:30:47.059
Message for you, sir.
00:30:47.059 --> 00:30:56.227
Hi Radi. Tell you what - I had to return the car.
00:30:56.227 --> 00:31:03.078
Could you come to me? I've got some things to do.
00:31:03.078 --> 00:31:08.536
I'll give you whatever you want.
00:31:08.536 --> 00:31:15.336
OK. Bye. Bye.
00:31:15.336 --> 00:31:17.238
Good morning, sir.
00:31:17.238 --> 00:31:18.649
I want to leave, please.
00:31:18.649 --> 00:31:20.410
Oh - is there a problem?
00:31:20.410 --> 00:31:23.769
No, I'm just free, free. I'm Japanese now and I want to leave.
00:31:23.769 --> 00:31:28.503
As you wish, sir, but you're not Japanese. You're Egyptian.
00:31:28.503 --> 00:31:30.805
Sir, you're American.
00:31:30.805 --> 00:31:32.336
No, I'm Japanese.
00:31:32.336 --> 00:31:33.935
American, sir.
00:31:33.935 --> 00:31:35.894
Japanese or not?
00:31:35.894 --> 00:31:37.337
...Japanese, sir.
00:31:37.337 --> 00:31:48.886
Please check me out of my room.
00:31:48.886 --> 00:31:50.670
Hey - look at my passport.
00:31:50.670 --> 00:31:57.737
I'm American. And that guy over there is a thief.
00:31:57.737 --> 00:32:00.669
Whoa, hey, take your hands off me!
00:32:00.669 --> 00:32:03.412
Help me, Masri! I know him!
00:32:03.412 --> 00:32:08.571
You know me? No, I don't know him at all.
00:32:08.571 --> 00:32:11.212
I told you, Egypt is a small room.
00:32:11.212 --> 00:32:13.670
Now who's going to remember your upper half?
00:32:13.670 --> 00:32:16.238
Ok Masri, we'll see.
00:32:16.238 --> 00:32:20.624
Masri! No, no, from here on you call me Sir Masri.
00:32:20.624 --> 00:32:26.877
Sir Masri?! Go on, get out of here.
00:32:26.877 --> 00:32:29.804
Oh, beloved Sir Masri.
00:32:29.804 --> 00:32:33.503
Radi, listen, I will give you a hundred gineih per day, ok?
00:32:33.503 --> 00:32:35.304
Make it two hundred dollars.
00:32:35.304 --> 00:32:39.738
OK, right - because one dollar = two gineih, so one hundred dollars equals two hundred gineih.
00:32:39.738 --> 00:32:42.170
What? A dollar's worth five and a half gineih.
00:32:42.170 --> 00:32:47.548
What? So high? Wasn't the rate two gineih before?
00:32:47.548 --> 00:32:50.563
Ok. I'll give you what you want.
00:32:50.563 --> 00:32:52.836
But please - don't make a fool of me again.
00:32:52.836 --> 00:32:57.169
For one reason only - you don't want to mess with me.
00:32:57.169 --> 00:32:58.570
Ok, Mr. Masri.
00:32:58.570 --> 00:33:01.067
OK, you go and bring your van, and I"ll get my bag.
00:33:01.067 --> 00:33:03.707
No, I can't - you know I can't enter here.
00:33:03.707 --> 00:33:05.800
Ok, you go and I'll bring my bag.
00:33:05.800 --> 00:33:06.570
OK Masri.
00:33:06.570 --> 00:33:07.458
What?
00:33:07.458 --> 00:33:22.637
Mr. Masri...Mr. Masri.
00:33:22.637 --> 00:33:30.036
He understood me.
00:33:30.036 --> 00:33:31.637
Why did you leave the hotel?
00:33:31.637 --> 00:33:33.962
Because it was very expensive.
00:33:33.962 --> 00:33:35.457
Who are these people in the back?
00:33:35.457 --> 00:33:38.135
Oh, it's a scam.
00:33:38.135 --> 00:33:40.504
I don't understand why you like to trick foreigners.
00:33:40.504 --> 00:33:46.969
Believe me, they're just like Egyptian people.
00:33:46.969 --> 00:33:52.963
Who's this? Who's singing?
00:33:52.963 --> 00:33:54.374
Nancy Ajram.
00:33:54.374 --> 00:33:55.470
Is she Egyptian?
00:33:55.470 --> 00:33:57.204
No, from Kuwait.
00:33:57.204 --> 00:34:00.437
Wow.
00:34:00.437 --> 00:34:04.170
What was that?
00:34:04.170 --> 00:34:08.459
Sir, he's the one who hit me, I was just standing.
00:34:08.459 --> 00:34:14.905
I saw it all. I want your papers.
00:34:14.905 --> 00:34:17.104
Wait here.
00:34:17.104 --> 00:34:20.337
Is the car ok?
00:34:20.337 --> 00:34:31.182
OK. He'll check with the driver and bring you your compensation.
00:34:31.182 --> 00:34:34.169
Sir, if you let him go, I'll never get compensated. My rights!
00:34:34.169 --> 00:34:35.537
OH, whose rights?
00:34:35.537 --> 00:34:38.629
"Whose rights?!" Don't worry Radi, I'll make sure you get your rights.
00:34:38.629 --> 00:34:41.803
And how are you going to do that? Who are you?
00:34:41.803 --> 00:34:43.169
I'm Egyptian.
00:34:43.169 --> 00:34:46.212
So what? Are you an Egyptian officer, an agent, what?
00:34:46.212 --> 00:34:49.570
Do i have to be anything other than Egyptian to get my rights?
00:34:49.570 --> 00:34:51.636
Sir, isn't it the police's duty to serve the people?
00:34:51.636 --> 00:34:53.218
That's old-fashioned talk, buddy.
00:34:53.218 --> 00:34:55.336
Today the police serve the state.
00:34:55.336 --> 00:34:57.963
Ok, and who was that in the other car? Was that the state?
00:34:57.963 --> 00:34:59.503
I don't want any resistance. Show me your ID.
00:34:59.503 --> 00:35:04.307
Ok. That was the state driving the car and he let him go.
00:35:04.307 --> 00:35:05.724
I've got this.
00:35:05.724 --> 00:35:07.770
You should show the other ID, Masri.
00:35:07.770 --> 00:35:09.232
Shh.
00:35:09.232 --> 00:35:10.836
Could you come with me to a higher-ranking officer?
00:35:10.836 --> 00:35:11.973
Sure, why not?
00:35:11.973 --> 00:35:12.736
What?
00:35:12.736 --> 00:35:14.915
Don't worry. I'll bring your rights back with me, come on.
00:35:14.915 --> 00:35:32.403
I want this guy to get his rights.
00:35:32.403 --> 00:35:33.804
Wait, not this guy.
00:35:33.804 --> 00:35:36.905
Radi?
00:35:36.905 --> 00:35:39.564
Sounds like this guy abandoned his rights himself.
00:35:39.564 --> 00:35:42.138
That's because he's Egyptian. But I'm an American citizen.
00:35:42.138 --> 00:35:44.738
And I want him to be compensated, because he didn't do anything wrong!
00:35:44.738 --> 00:35:47.541
So you're threatening me because you're an American citizen
00:35:47.541 --> 00:35:50.005
and your passport protects you and nobody can touch you?
00:35:50.005 --> 00:35:51.541
Yep, exactly.
00:35:51.541 --> 00:35:55.624
I'm threatening you because I am an American citizen
00:35:55.624 --> 00:36:00.105
and my passport protects me and nobody can touch me! OK!
00:36:00.105 --> 00:36:08.050
Ok, could you say that in the microphone? To scare the soldiers.
00:36:08.050 --> 00:36:15.886
I am an American citizen, and my passport protects me and nobody can touch me! OK?!
00:36:15.886 --> 00:36:26.369
See how scared they got?
00:36:26.369 --> 00:36:28.238
You're American?
00:36:28.238 --> 00:36:33.836
Yeah, I said that. I'm American, and this passport protects me, and no one can touch me.
00:36:33.836 --> 00:36:39.485
And furthermore, I can kick anyone I want with my shoes, ok!
00:36:39.485 --> 00:36:43.238
Why so angry?
00:36:43.238 --> 00:36:50.736
Yes! Yes, you guys, you should be protesting!
00:36:50.736 --> 00:37:00.104
You should protest and get your rights back!
00:37:00.104 --> 00:37:03.570
But - um. Don't be too aggressive getting them back.
00:37:03.570 --> 00:37:04.705
So, American, huh?
00:37:04.705 --> 00:37:10.470
No, no no no - my passport is American, but I'm Egyptian.
00:37:10.470 --> 00:37:15.208
You can see I'm Egyptian.
And also my name is Masri
00:37:15.208 --> 00:37:20.237
And I'm Egyptian, and my father's Egyptian, and he was the same skin shade as me and everything.
00:37:20.237 --> 00:37:21.238
Yeah, yeah, just look at me!
00:37:21.238 --> 00:37:22.603
And - my passport doesn't protect me.
00:37:22.603 --> 00:37:27.775
And any old person can kick me with his shoes. Believe me.
00:37:27.775 --> 00:37:33.770
And also, my favorite song is by Nancy Ajram
00:37:33.770 --> 00:37:35.964
you know the one where she says, "I'm Egyptian and my father's Egyptian-"
00:37:35.964 --> 00:37:37.652
You haven't even memorized Nancy Ajram's songs!
00:37:37.652 --> 00:37:39.208
No, I've memorized them, really!
00:37:39.208 --> 00:37:41.635
NO!
00:37:41.635 --> 00:37:43.103
How could you do that?!
00:37:43.103 --> 00:39:56.459
You'll have to bow down to get it, American.**
00:39:56.459 --> 00:40:02.846
Evening, sir.
00:40:02.846 --> 00:40:05.904
I'd like to check in, please.
00:40:05.904 --> 00:40:09.382
Oh, ok. I just need your passport.
00:40:09.382 --> 00:40:13.237
All your data was erased, so I need it again.
00:40:13.237 --> 00:40:18.954
Can I tell you something?
00:40:18.954 --> 00:40:21.781
My passport...I lost it.
00:40:21.781 --> 00:40:22.970
The Egyptian one or the American one?
00:40:22.970 --> 00:40:27.305
The American was lost. The Egyptian one...flew away.
00:40:27.305 --> 00:40:29.140
That was my fault.
00:40:29.140 --> 00:40:32.404
So, now you aren't American or Egyptian or Japanese?
00:40:32.404 --> 00:40:34.838
Oh, you know, go ahead and consider me Korean.
00:40:34.838 --> 00:40:37.902
No, I'm sorry sir, but there has to be some kind of ID.
00:40:37.902 --> 00:40:40.836
Please - I'm going to be sleeping in the street.
00:40:40.836 --> 00:41:04.941
Sorry. I can't help.
00:41:04.941 --> 00:41:13.004
with a paper and pen, you gave me a thousand pains
00:41:13.004 --> 00:41:19.736
I saw pain in you...and I know who was oppressed
00:41:19.736 --> 00:41:26.068
with a paper and pen, you gave me a thousand pains
00:41:26.068 --> 00:41:35.043
I saw pain in you...and I know who was oppressed
00:41:35.043 --> 00:41:38.472
Why do you know how to help a stranger/foreigner
00:41:38.472 --> 00:41:42.203
You show him the bright side of things
00:41:42.203 --> 00:41:45.983
And ignore your own sons
00:41:45.983 --> 00:41:57.063
You know black honey - that's what you are now
00:41:57.063 --> 00:42:04.905
How can you tell me everything is fine, with everything that's going on here?
00:42:04.905 --> 00:42:08.437
Oh land of contradictions
00:42:08.437 --> 00:42:12.053
Oh, everything and it's opposite
00:42:12.053 --> 00:42:15.790
Forget it, my patience has run out
00:42:15.790 --> 00:42:37.637
I don't want to see if there's any hope left for you.
00:42:37.637 --> 00:42:45.503
"Eat and give thanks?"
00:42:45.503 --> 00:42:55.406
Is there a menu?
00:42:55.406 --> 00:42:58.970
But what's...why've you all ordered the same food?
00:42:58.970 --> 00:43:00.915
God willing.
00:43:00.915 --> 00:43:03.939
The same drinks, same potatoes...
00:43:03.939 --> 00:43:09.570
You know, this restaurant's style is nice.
00:43:09.570 --> 00:43:16.542
One table for everybody...
00:43:16.542 --> 00:43:20.670
Bilhana wa al-shifa! We don't want anyone to be hungry!
00:43:20.670 --> 00:43:25.703
Happy Ramadan to you!
00:43:25.703 --> 00:43:26.904
Excuse me...
00:43:26.904 --> 00:43:29.636
The food was delicious.
00:43:29.636 --> 00:43:30.980
May it give you good health.
00:43:30.980 --> 00:43:33.866
But I'm not sure how much the tab is. I've only got gineih.
00:43:33.866 --> 00:43:43.185
Bill, what bill? Keep your money, and happy Ramadan. This is a generous month.
00:43:43.185 --> 00:43:46.703
Come to think of it, I was hoping for desert. Do you have desert?
00:43:46.703 --> 00:43:52.204
What was Radi's number again? I've got to remember it...
00:43:52.204 --> 00:44:10.804
Zero, one-eyn, five, ok...
00:44:10.804 --> 00:44:14.536
I almost had it; it was right at the front of my brain.
00:44:14.536 --> 00:44:16.403
What was the last number?
00:44:16.403 --> 00:44:17.557
Good evening, sir.
00:44:17.557 --> 00:44:19.279
Yes, what, what? I was just about to remember the last number!
00:44:19.279 --> 00:44:22.213
I thought maybe you could help me - I've got a room, but I'm late on rent.
00:44:22.213 --> 00:44:23.969
You have a room?
00:44:23.969 --> 00:44:26.113
How lucky! Could I spend the night there?
00:44:26.113 --> 00:44:27.389
Are you kidding?
00:44:27.389 --> 00:44:40.458
Do you have a pen in the room? I just want to write down this phone number, once I remember.
00:44:40.458 --> 00:44:47.088
Take this. Take it.
00:44:47.088 --> 00:44:50.170
What, is she a drug dealer?
00:44:50.170 --> 00:44:55.076
Take these.
00:44:55.076 --> 00:44:56.403
Take some.
00:44:56.403 --> 00:44:57.474
Me?
00:44:57.474 --> 00:44:58.806
Yes, you, come here.
00:44:58.806 --> 00:45:00.070
You come over here.
00:45:00.070 --> 00:45:01.903
I said, come over here and take some.
00:45:01.903 --> 00:45:07.136
OK.
00:45:07.136 --> 00:45:08.876
Take this.
00:45:08.876 --> 00:45:09.896
What is this?
00:45:09.896 --> 00:45:11.653
Meat.
00:45:11.653 --> 00:45:13.505
Why are you giving out meat?
00:45:13.505 --> 00:45:19.906
Our freezer's full of meat. This is the time of year to give charity to the poor.
00:45:19.906 --> 00:45:23.150
Oh, thanks, but I'm not poor.
00:45:23.150 --> 00:45:24.800
What are you then?
00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:25.903
I'm Masri.
00:45:25.903 --> 00:45:27.804
Then you're definitely poor. Take the meat!
00:45:27.804 --> 00:45:34.052
No, my name is Masri. But I'm American.
00:45:34.052 --> 00:45:40.969
Then why are you looking like such a mess?
00:45:40.969 --> 00:45:43.839
I was in a protest. Against America.
00:45:43.839 --> 00:45:46.803
You came from America to Egypt to walk in the protests?
00:45:46.803 --> 00:45:51.458
No, no, that's not it. It's not like you think.
00:45:51.458 --> 00:45:56.003
I just had no idea the people would hate America this much.
00:45:56.003 --> 00:45:58.571
Maybe you just don't know how to imagine.
00:45:58.571 --> 00:45:59.869
Right...you're Egyptian, right?
00:45:59.869 --> 00:46:01.132
Yes.
00:46:01.132 --> 00:46:03.732
Okay, can I ask you something then?
00:46:03.732 --> 00:46:07.732
I want to go to a communications office.