[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.25,0:00:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.32,0:00:12.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you remember the last time\Nyou felt rejected?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.69,0:00:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it a guy that never\Nreturned a phone call?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.54,0:00:19.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or a father that never came around?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.27,0:00:21.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it a boss who overlooked you\Nfor a promotion?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.19,0:00:25.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or maybe it was someone in your life\Nwho never thought you were good enough,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.10,0:00:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no matter what you did\Nto try to impress them.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.42,0:00:31.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all know rejection hurts.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.95,0:00:33.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It stings.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.30,0:00:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes us feel like\Nwe're not good enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.69,0:00:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It causes us to question ourselves\Nand doubt our future.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.85,0:00:43.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I submit to you that rejection\Nisn't something we should be afraid of.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.31,0:00:44.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it sure isn't something
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.63,0:00:47.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that should make us\Nget discouraged, depressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.06,0:00:50.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or work unhealthy amounts of hours\Njust to prove to the world
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.03,0:00:53.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we are somebody worth loving\Nand paying attention to.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.27,0:00:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather, rejection is our friend
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.98,0:00:59.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not our enemy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.92,0:01:03.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to share two ways\Nthat we can see rejection
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.10,0:01:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to leverage\Nthose moments of pain
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.72,0:01:08.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be the greatest catalyst\Nto our success,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.46,0:01:11.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and proof of our value and uniqueness.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.90,0:01:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first way that we can view rejection\Nis by seeing it as projection.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.89,0:01:19.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A psychological projection.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.44,0:01:24.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A psychological projection is when someone\Nsubconsciously employs
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.45,0:01:28.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,undesirable feelings or emotions\Nonto someone else
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.34,0:01:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than admitting to or dealing\Nwith their own unwanted feelings.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.81,0:01:34.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we can see how the rejections we face
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.97,0:01:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may have more to do with another person's\Ninward turmoil and not our own value,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.31,0:01:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our lives will change.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.28,0:01:44.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than shrink back,\Nget discouraged, or play it safe,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.23,0:01:47.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we'll move forward in life\Nwith confidence and high esteem.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.94,0:01:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of my most painful moments\Nof rejection happened
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.40,0:01:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I was in the third grade.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.36,0:01:58.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to be popular, to be liked,\Nto be loved, and to be respected.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.37,0:01:59.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And thankfully, I was.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.26,0:02:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in an advanced learning class
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.03,0:02:05.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which meant that I was one of two\NBlack students in an all-white class.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.20,0:02:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this wasn't a bad thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.68,0:02:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was known as the cool, big, Black kid.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.29,0:02:11.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They called me Goon.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.86,0:02:12.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.45,0:02:15.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was one of the smartest kids in class,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.66,0:02:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people cheated off my test,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.28,0:02:18.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they laughed at my jokes,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.49,0:02:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life was great.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.58,0:02:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until one day,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.58,0:02:24.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as I was returning back to class \Nfrom a bathroom break,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.23,0:02:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I noticed a group of Black students\Ncircled together laughing hysterically.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.44,0:02:31.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Me, being the confident, charismatic,\Noutgoing guy that I was,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.04,0:02:35.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided I was going to go over to them\Nand get in on the jokes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.10,0:02:36.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I walked over to these students,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.78,0:02:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said, "Hey y'all, what's so funny?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.34,0:02:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one answered.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.06,0:02:42.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I spoke up.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.67,0:02:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Now, what y'all over there\Nlaughing about?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.72,0:02:46.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And just as I was finishing my sentence,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.67,0:02:49.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the guys in the group turned\Ntowards me and said,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.29,0:02:51.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're what's funny, white boy."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.94,0:02:53.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The crowd erupted in laughter,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.100,0:02:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I, feeling embarrassed,\Nashamed, and rejected,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.40,0:03:02.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,returned to my class to soon learn\Nthat I was known in our school
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.88,0:03:06.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as the Black kid\Nthat talks and acts white.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.28,0:03:09.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I allowed that moment of rejection
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.55,0:03:12.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to diminish my confidence\Nand my self-esteem.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.84,0:03:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than celebrate my own uniqueness,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.16,0:03:18.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I began a long journey\Nof changing who I was
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.30,0:03:20.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to fit in with this Black community.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.54,0:03:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, I changed the way that I dressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.57,0:03:23.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way that I talked,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.64,0:03:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the music I listened to.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.13,0:03:27.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I even changed the way that I laughed.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.12,0:03:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started skipping school, selling drugs,\Nand making poor decisions -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.48,0:03:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all because I wanted to gain\Ntheir approval and their acceptance.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.04,0:03:36.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know what?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.16,0:03:37.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It worked.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.30,0:03:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They accepted me. They embraced me.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.53,0:03:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got street cred.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.80,0:03:45.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But deep down inside,\NI knew it wasn't me who they accepted.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.75,0:03:48.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was who I was pretending to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.44,0:03:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the more they adored\Nthis false version of me,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.13,0:03:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more rejected the real me\Nfelt the entire time.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.98,0:04:00.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, I didn't understand\Nthat sometimes rejection is projection.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.29,0:04:04.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A projection of someone's own \Nfears and insecurities
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.17,0:04:05.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,onto another person.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.86,0:04:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those students who made fun of me\Nwere deeply insecure.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.04,0:04:10.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were unsure of themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.77,0:04:12.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were afraid to do anything
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.28,0:04:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outside of what their peers\Nthought was acceptable.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.12,0:04:17.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because they didn't know\Nhow to be their unique selves,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.88,0:04:20.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they projected their fears\Nand insecurities onto me
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.74,0:04:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the form of mockery and jokes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.95,0:04:27.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because sometimes,\Ntalking bad about others
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.58,0:04:30.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes people feel better\Nabout themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.34,0:04:36.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I would've been able to see\Ntheir rejection as projection,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.89,0:04:39.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would've never taken\Ntheir jokes personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.29,0:04:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wouldn't have wasted years of my life
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.14,0:04:43.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to earn their approval\Nand their acceptance.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.53,0:04:45.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would've stayed true to who I was,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.24,0:04:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I probably would've felt more sorry \Nfor them than I was for myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.41,0:04:53.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I believe that properly\Nhandling rejection
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.44,0:04:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a crucial component to ending\Nthe rising anxiety, depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.60,0:05:00.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and suicide rates in our nation and world.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.01,0:05:04.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, one study from the "Oxford\NHandbook of Social Exclusions"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.12,0:05:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stated that rejection is both a cause\Nand a consequence of depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.06,0:05:11.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.92,0:05:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever felt down\Nafter you got rejected?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.88,0:05:16.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe it was a group of co-workers
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.50,0:05:19.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who invited everyone out\Nfor drinks after work except for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.50,0:05:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or what about people who won't invest\Ntheir money into your vision and dream?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.03,0:05:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those are situations that cause people \Nto dislike themselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.11,0:05:31.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,give up, gain a ton of weight from \Nemotional eating,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.15,0:05:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and binge-watch Netflix.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.31,0:05:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I've learned that we\Ndon't have to allow rejection
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.83,0:05:37.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make us do that crazy stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.58,0:05:41.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can leverage our moments of rejections \Nto produce confidence and success.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.47,0:05:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.48,0:05:45.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once I discovered that the rejection\NI faced in the third grade
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.48,0:05:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was actually a projection\Nof those students' own issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.40,0:05:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was able to see the beauty\Nin my own difference.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.36,0:05:55.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, they had\Nsomething right about me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.36,0:05:58.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was the Black kid that talked\Nand acted white.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.41,0:05:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I still am.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.17,0:06:02.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being the Black kid that talks\Nand acts white has enabled me
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.98,0:06:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be versatile as a speaker
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.60,0:06:07.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and work with people\Nfrom all different walks of life.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.48,0:06:09.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can speak to gang members in the street,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.51,0:06:11.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I can speak to executives\Nin the board room.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.80,0:06:14.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can help addicts live free\Nfrom addiction,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.37,0:06:18.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I can coach elite athletes\Nto discover their purpose beyond sports.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.75,0:06:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The very thing that made them reject me
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.15,0:06:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has become a crucial\Ncomponent to my success.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.66,0:06:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It has made me effective\Nat helping others,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.10,0:06:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's all because I learned\Nto see rejection as projection,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.93,0:06:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and figured out how to use it for my good.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.79,0:06:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second way that we can see rejection\Nis by viewing it as protection.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.51,0:06:43.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Protection from something or someone
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.35,0:06:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that isn't meant\Nto be in our lives anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.46,0:06:50.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned this lesson after life rejected\Nmy dreams of playing in the NFL.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.57,0:06:54.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to Central Michigan University\Non a full-ride scholarship
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.58,0:06:56.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to play Division I football.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.51,0:06:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sports was the way that I was going\Nto become rich and famous,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.50,0:07:03.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that I could buy my parents a house\Nand get all of my family out of poverty.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.58,0:07:07.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had so many coaches\Nand players who told me
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.12,0:07:10.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that because of my height,\Nmy speed, and my athleticism,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.68,0:07:14.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that there was no doubt\Nthat I would one day play in the NFL.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.20,0:07:19.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, I ruptured a disc\Nin my back my freshman year,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.20,0:07:22.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this injury ended my college career.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.73,0:07:26.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Life had rejected\Nall that hard work I put in.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.10,0:07:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than view my sports injury \Nas protection from a career path
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.41,0:07:32.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that wasn't the best for me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.81,0:07:34.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I took it personal.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.22,0:07:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt like life hated me\Nand spit in my face.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.71,0:07:39.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt like the universe despised me
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.01,0:07:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that my value was pretty much nothing\Nwithout the sport that I loved
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.66,0:07:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the recognition that I got\Nfrom being an athlete.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.40,0:07:47.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than let sports go,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.21,0:07:52.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did something terrible in an attempt\Nto keep my athlete dreams alive.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.100,0:07:54.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I signed a liability waiver
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.00,0:07:59.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and rehabilitated my body to once\Nagain play Division I football.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.28,0:08:03.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put my body through two years\Nof drug addiction,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.59,0:08:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pain, and sleepless nights,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.96,0:08:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I couldn't face life\Non life's terms.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.12,0:08:12.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No matter how many painkillers I took,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.57,0:08:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or how many epidural shots\NI got in my back,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.03,0:08:18.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I couldn't avoid the reality\Nthat my career was finished.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.23,0:08:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nothing I did to avoid\Nthat rejection was working.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.02,0:08:25.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was so afraid to face rejection
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.21,0:08:28.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I felt like it meant\Nthat I had no value and no future.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.35,0:08:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I figured that since life\Ncompletely rejected me
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.67,0:08:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all the hard work that I put in\Nto become a professional athlete,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.94,0:08:39.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I didn't just fail, but rather,\Nthat I was a failure.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.59,0:08:42.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This belief that I was a failure
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.64,0:08:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,drove me into one of the darkest\Ndepressions of my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.64,0:08:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I became suicidal
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.39,0:08:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I thought\Nit would be better to end my life
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.30,0:08:54.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than to deal with another\Npainful moment of rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.45,0:08:58.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I would swallow\Nwhole bottles of pills
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.62,0:09:01.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in hopes that I wouldn't\Nwake up the next day.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.82,0:09:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would get drunk\Nand take a bunch of drugs
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.28,0:09:07.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get in the car and drive hoping\Nthat a car accident would end it all.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.50,0:09:11.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It got so bad that I tried\Nto starve myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.18,0:09:15.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I went from 275 pounds\Nto 219 pounds in four weeks.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.72,0:09:19.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all because I didn't understand\Nhow to handle rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.29,0:09:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All these attempts at suicide \Nlanded me in the psychiatric unit
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.47,0:09:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in Detroit, Michigan.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.47,0:09:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was there that I had\Na life-changing experience
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.10,0:09:32.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gave me hope, and purpose,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.62,0:09:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and helped me to believe that maybe\Nthe rejection I was experiencing
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.30,0:09:40.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was protection from a future\Nthat wasn't the best for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.89,0:09:44.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that maybe there was a career\Nand a life out there for me
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.58,0:09:47.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was far better\Nthan what I had envisioned.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.49,0:09:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I spent the next few years\Nresearching everything
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.00,0:09:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could find on purpose and meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.92,0:09:53.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I read books.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.94,0:09:55.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I took online courses.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.47,0:09:56.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I interviewed people.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.52,0:09:57.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I prayed. I meditated.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.99,0:10:00.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I even watched a bunch of TEDx talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.11,0:10:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.88,0:10:05.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to develop new skills\Nand explore new interests.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.06,0:10:06.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.08,0:10:08.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over time, I built a life that I loved
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.88,0:10:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even enjoyed more\Nthan my life as an athlete.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.61,0:10:14.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would've never been able to do that
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.76,0:10:17.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it wasn't for life\Ncompletely rejecting,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.89,0:10:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or should I say, protecting me,\Nfrom becoming a professional athlete.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.17,0:10:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I believe that the world\Nneeds to have the same perspective shift
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.76,0:10:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I had when\NI was in the psychiatric unit.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.76,0:10:33.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than internalize rejection\Nto mean that we're less valuable
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.39,0:10:34.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or that our future is unsure,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.97,0:10:37.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we should view it as protection\Nfrom something
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.75,0:10:41.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or someone that isn't meant\Nto be in our lives anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.76,0:10:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine what would happen
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.38,0:10:53.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we stopped viewing rejection\Nas a negative, humiliating force,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.10,0:10:59.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we started viewing rejection\Nas a necessary development tool
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.98,0:11:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a catalyst for massive success.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.29,0:11:07.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I look at people who I admire \Nthat have been highly successful in life,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.91,0:11:11.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't help but to notice how\Nthey've overcome rejections they face.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.01,0:11:15.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It causes me to wonder if they\Nwould've ever become who they were
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.05,0:11:18.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it wasn't for how they leveraged\Ntheir moments of rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.59,0:11:19.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.60,0:11:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if Martin Luther King Jr.\Nwould've ever become a great leader
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.10,0:11:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it wasn't for the rejection\Nhe experienced
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.24,0:11:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from his message and his mission.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.88,0:11:31.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if Michael Jordan\Nwould've ever developed the drive
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.70,0:11:34.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to become one of the greatest\Nbasketball players of all time,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.60,0:11:38.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it wasn't for being rejected\Nby his coach in high school.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.30,0:11:42.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if Apple would be one\Nof the largest tech companies
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.11,0:11:46.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the world if it wasn't for Steve Jobs\Nbeing rejected by his own company.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.35,0:11:49.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More importantly though,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.66,0:11:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder what your life would look like
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.96,0:11:55.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you went back\Nto your moments of rejection,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.02,0:11:57.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and rather than cry,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.63,0:11:59.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get angry, or bitter,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.99,0:12:01.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you analyze those moments,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.40,0:12:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and reframe them\Nas protection or projection.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.17,0:12:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if buried beneath your pain\Nand unfortunate circumstances
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.96,0:12:15.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is treasure that you could cash in.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.92,0:12:21.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if you'd find keys\Nthat would unlock new paths in life
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.42,0:12:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are far beyond\Nwhat you can think or imagine.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.65,0:12:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if the next level of your success
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.14,0:12:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is locked beneath your most painful\Nmoment of rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.85,0:12:43.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started by asking you when \Nwas the last time you felt rejected?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.86,0:12:45.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it a boss?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.75,0:12:47.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An ex-spouse? A parent?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.65,0:12:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A friend? Or just bad luck?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.89,0:12:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'll end by asking you,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.13,0:12:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What are you going to do with it?"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.63,0:12:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.63,0:13:00.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've been awesome.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.67,0:13:03.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.00,0:13:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers)