0:00:18.847,0:00:24.021
Imagine being unable to say,[br]"I am hungry", "I am in pain"

0:00:24.280,0:00:26.816
"Thank you", or "I love you."

0:00:26.840,0:00:28.936
Being trapped inside your body,

0:00:28.960,0:00:31.960
a body that doesn't respond to commands.

0:00:32.119,0:00:33.776
Surrounded by people,

0:00:33.800,0:00:35.416
yet utterly alone.

0:00:35.440,0:00:37.136
Wishing you could reach out,

0:00:37.160,0:00:40.660
to connect, to comfort, to participate.

0:00:41.400,0:00:44.400
For 13 long years, that was my reality.

0:00:45.520,0:00:48.520
Most of us never think twice[br]about talking, about communicating.

0:00:51.080,0:00:53.216
I thought a lot about it,

0:00:53.240,0:00:55.896
I've had a lot of time to think.

0:00:55.920,0:00:58.016
For the first 12 years of my life,

0:00:58.040,0:01:00.736
I was a normal, happy, healthy little boy.

0:01:00.760,0:01:02.896
Then everything changed.

0:01:02.920,0:01:05.176
I contracted a brain infection.

0:01:05.200,0:01:07.496
The doctors weren't sure what it was,

0:01:07.520,0:01:10.016
but they treated me the best they could.

0:01:10.040,0:01:13.040
However, I progressively got worse.

0:01:13.440,0:01:17.318
Eventually, I lost my ability[br]to control my movements,

0:01:17.640,0:01:18.976
make eye contact,

0:01:19.000,0:01:22.000
and finally, my ability to speak.

0:01:23.280,0:01:24.496
While in hospital,

0:01:24.520,0:01:27.096
I desperately wanted to go home.

0:01:27.120,0:01:30.120
I said to my mother, "When home?"

0:01:30.440,0:01:33.440
Those were the last words[br]I ever spoke with my own voice.

0:01:34.920,0:01:37.920
I would eventually fail every test[br]for mental awareness.

0:01:38.760,0:01:41.576
My parents were told[br]I was as good as not there.

0:01:41.600,0:01:45.407
A vegetable, having the intelligence[br]of a three-month-old baby.

0:01:46.240,0:01:49.894
They were told to take me home[br]and try to keep me comfortable

0:01:49.920,0:01:51.120
until I died.

0:01:52.000,0:01:55.000
My parents, in fact[br]my entire family's lives,

0:01:55.560,0:01:59.334
became consumed by taking care of me[br]the best they knew how.

0:01:59.880,0:02:02.216
Their friends drifted away.

0:02:02.240,0:02:04.056
One year turned to two,

0:02:04.080,0:02:05.400
two turned to three.

0:02:06.240,0:02:09.240
It seemed like the person I once was[br]began to disappear.

0:02:10.680,0:02:13.680
The Lego blocks and electronic circuits[br]I'd loved as a boy were put away.

0:02:15.600,0:02:18.600
I had been moved out of my bedroom[br]into another more practical one.

0:02:20.080,0:02:21.776
I had become a ghost,

0:02:21.800,0:02:24.800
a faded memory of a boy[br]people once knew and loved.

0:02:26.199,0:02:29.199
Meanwhile, my mind began[br]knitting itself back together.

0:02:30.480,0:02:33.480
Gradually, my awareness started to return.

0:02:33.520,0:02:36.520
But no one realized[br]that I had come back to life.

0:02:36.880,0:02:38.696
I was aware of everything,

0:02:38.720,0:02:40.736
just like any normal person.

0:02:40.760,0:02:43.056
I could see and understand everything,

0:02:43.080,0:02:45.920
but I couldn't find a way[br]to let anybody know.

0:02:46.560,0:02:49.560
My personality was entombed[br]within a seemingly silent body,

0:02:50.560,0:02:53.560
a vibrant mind hidden in plain sight[br]within a chrysalis.

0:02:54.920,0:02:57.656
The stark reality hit me[br]that I was going to spend

0:02:57.680,0:03:00.336
the rest of my life locked inside myself,

0:03:00.360,0:03:02.056
totally alone.

0:03:02.080,0:03:05.080
I was trapped with only[br]my thoughts for company.

0:03:05.720,0:03:07.896
I would never be rescued.

0:03:07.920,0:03:10.856
No one would ever show me tenderness.

0:03:10.880,0:03:13.136
I would never talk to a friend.

0:03:13.160,0:03:15.080
No one would ever love me.

0:03:15.920,0:03:18.920
I had no dreams, no hope,[br]nothing to look forward to.

0:03:20.080,0:03:22.576
Well, nothing pleasant.

0:03:22.600,0:03:23.936
I lived in fear,

0:03:23.960,0:03:25.496
and, to put it bluntly,

0:03:25.520,0:03:28.520
was waiting for death[br]to finally release me,

0:03:28.600,0:03:31.600
expecting to die all alone in a care home.

0:03:32.520,0:03:35.520
I don't know if it's truly possible[br]to express in words

0:03:35.920,0:03:38.736
what it's like not to be able[br]to communicate.

0:03:38.760,0:03:41.760
Your personality appears[br]to vanish into a heavy fog

0:03:42.200,0:03:46.939
and all of your emotions and desires are[br]constricted, stifled and muted within you.

0:03:48.000,0:03:51.000
For me, the worst was the feeling[br]of utter powerlessness.

0:03:52.520,0:03:53.960
I simply existed.

0:03:54.680,0:03:57.136
It's a very dark place to find yourself

0:03:57.160,0:03:59.840
because in a sense, you have vanished.

0:04:01.000,0:04:04.000
Other people controlled[br]every aspect of my life.

0:04:04.240,0:04:06.536
They decided what I ate and when.

0:04:06.560,0:04:09.560
Whether I was laid on my side[br]or strapped into my wheelchair.

0:04:10.560,0:04:13.560
I often spent my days[br]positioned in front of the TV

0:04:13.960,0:04:15.800
watching Barney reruns.

0:04:16.440,0:04:19.336
I think because Barney[br]is so happy and jolly,

0:04:19.360,0:04:21.096
and I absolutely wasn't,

0:04:21.120,0:04:22.800
it made it so much worse.

0:04:23.800,0:04:26.800
I was completely powerless[br]to change anything in my life

0:04:27.240,0:04:29.696
or people's perceptions of me.

0:04:29.720,0:04:33.265
I was a silent, invisible observer[br]of how people behaved

0:04:33.320,0:04:35.696
when they thought no one was watching.

0:04:35.720,0:04:38.720
Unfortunately, I wasn't only an observer.

0:04:39.440,0:04:42.440
With no way to communicate,[br]I became the perfect victim:

0:04:43.440,0:04:46.440
A defenseless object,[br]seemingly devoid of feelings

0:04:47.440,0:04:50.440
that people used[br]to play out their darkest desires.

0:04:51.200,0:04:54.200
For more than 10 years,[br]people who were charged with my care

0:04:54.880,0:04:57.880
abused me physically,[br]verbally and sexually.

0:04:58.760,0:05:01.520
Despite what they thought, I did feel.

0:05:02.400,0:05:04.136
The first time it happened,

0:05:04.160,0:05:06.816
I was shocked and filled with disbelief.

0:05:06.840,0:05:08.360
How could they do this to me?

0:05:09.120,0:05:10.696
I was confused.

0:05:10.720,0:05:12.840
What had I done to deserve this?

0:05:13.440,0:05:16.980
Part of me wanted to cry[br]and another part wanted to fight.

0:05:17.520,0:05:20.520
Hurt, sadness and anger[br]flooded through me.

0:05:21.280,0:05:23.056
I felt worthless.

0:05:23.080,0:05:25.000
There was no one to comfort me.

0:05:26.080,0:05:29.080
But neither of my parents[br]knew this was happening.

0:05:29.360,0:05:32.855
I lived in terror, knowing[br]it would happen again and again.

0:05:33.440,0:05:35.536
I just never knew when.

0:05:35.560,0:05:38.320
All I knew was that I would[br]never be the same.

0:05:39.360,0:05:42.360
I remember once listening[br]to Whitney Houston singing,

0:05:43.000,0:05:46.920
"No matter what they take from me,[br]they can't take away my dignity."

0:05:47.880,0:05:50.800
And I thought to myself,[br]"You want to bet?"

0:05:53.120,0:05:56.120
Perhaps my parents could have[br]found out and could have helped.

0:05:56.880,0:05:59.136
But the years of constant caretaking,

0:05:59.160,0:06:02.056
having to wake up[br]every two hours to turn me,

0:06:02.080,0:06:05.080
combined with them essentially[br]grieving the loss of their son,

0:06:05.480,0:06:08.480
had taken a toll on my mother and father.

0:06:08.840,0:06:12.230
Following yet another heated argument[br]between my parents,

0:06:12.440,0:06:15.056
in a moment of despair and desperation,

0:06:15.080,0:06:18.080
my mother turned to me[br]and told me that I should die.

0:06:20.160,0:06:23.160
I was shocked, but as I thought[br]about what she had said,

0:06:23.320,0:06:26.320
I was filled with enormous compassion[br]and love for my mother,

0:06:27.360,0:06:29.320
yet I could do nothing about it.

0:06:30.640,0:06:33.016
There were many moments when I gave up,

0:06:33.040,0:06:35.416
sinking into a dark abyss.

0:06:35.440,0:06:38.440
I remember one particularly low moment.

0:06:38.600,0:06:40.856
My dad left me alone in the car

0:06:40.880,0:06:43.880
while he quickly went[br]to buy something from the store.

0:06:44.480,0:06:47.096
A random stranger walked past,

0:06:47.120,0:06:49.960
looked at me and he smiled.

0:06:50.880,0:06:53.880
I may never know why, but that simple act,

0:06:54.040,0:06:56.336
the fleeting moment of human connection,

0:06:56.360,0:06:58.736
transformed how I was feeling,

0:06:58.760,0:07:00.680
making me want to keep going.

0:07:01.760,0:07:04.696
My existence was tortured by monotony,

0:07:04.720,0:07:07.720
a reality that was often too much to bare.

0:07:07.760,0:07:11.789
Alone with my thoughts,[br]I constructed intricate fantasies

0:07:11.920,0:07:14.920
about ants running across the floor.

0:07:15.320,0:07:19.922
I taught myself to tell the time[br]by noticing where the shadows were.

0:07:20.408,0:07:24.246
As I learned how the shadows moved[br]as the hours of the day passed,

0:07:24.600,0:07:28.566
I understood how long it would be[br]before I was picked up and taken home.

0:07:29.280,0:07:32.280
Seeing my father walk[br]through the door to collect me

0:07:32.560,0:07:34.720
was the best moment of the day.

0:07:35.600,0:07:37.936
My mind became a tool that I could use

0:07:37.960,0:07:40.776
to either close down[br]to retreat from my reality

0:07:40.800,0:07:44.899
or enlarge into a gigantic space[br]that I could fill with fantasies.

0:07:45.800,0:07:47.776
I hoped that my reality would change

0:07:47.800,0:07:50.656
and someone would see[br]that I had come back to life.

0:07:50.680,0:07:53.376
But I had been washed away[br]like a sand castle

0:07:53.400,0:07:55.536
built too close to the waves,

0:07:55.560,0:07:58.560
and in my place was the person[br]people expected me to be.

0:07:59.760,0:08:02.760
To some I was Martin,[br]the vacant shell, the vegetable,

0:08:03.560,0:08:07.125
deserving of harsh words,[br]dismissal, and even abuse.

0:08:08.000,0:08:10.936
To others, I was the tragically[br]brain-damaged boy

0:08:10.960,0:08:13.176
who had grown to become a man.

0:08:13.200,0:08:16.200
Someone they were kind to and cared for.

0:08:16.400,0:08:18.896
Good or bad, I was a blank canvass

0:08:18.920,0:08:21.920
onto which different versions[br]of myself were projected.

0:08:23.160,0:08:26.160
It took someone new[br]to see me in a different way.

0:08:26.480,0:08:29.480
An aromatherapist began coming[br]to the care home about once a week.

0:08:30.760,0:08:33.736
Whether through intuition[br]or her attention to details

0:08:33.760,0:08:35.775
that others failed to notice,

0:08:35.799,0:08:39.285
she became convinced that I could[br]understand what was being said.

0:08:39.960,0:08:42.960
She urged my parents[br]to have me tested by experts

0:08:43.480,0:08:46.480
in augmentative[br]and alternative communication.

0:08:46.800,0:08:48.016
And within a year,

0:08:48.040,0:08:51.353
I was beginning to use[br]a computer program to communicate.

0:08:52.120,0:08:55.120
It was exhilarating,[br]but frustrating at times.

0:08:55.880,0:08:57.856
I had so many words in my mind,

0:08:57.880,0:09:00.696
that I couldn't wait[br]to be able to share them.

0:09:00.720,0:09:04.355
Sometimes, I would say things to myself[br]simply because I could.

0:09:05.480,0:09:08.096
In myself, I had already an audience,

0:09:08.120,0:09:11.120
and I believed that by expressing[br]my thoughts and wishes,

0:09:11.280,0:09:13.016
others would listen, too.

0:09:13.040,0:09:15.296
But as I began to communicate more,

0:09:15.320,0:09:18.320
I realized that it was in fact[br]only just the beginning

0:09:18.345,0:09:21.281
of creating a new voice for myself.

0:09:21.480,0:09:25.158
I was thrust into a world[br]I didn't quite know how to function in.

0:09:25.840,0:09:27.496
I stopped going to the care home

0:09:27.520,0:09:30.520
and managed to get my first job[br]making photocopies.

0:09:31.400,0:09:34.400
As simple as this may sound,[br]it was amazing.

0:09:34.880,0:09:36.896
My new world was really exciting,

0:09:36.920,0:09:39.736
but often quite overwhelming[br]and frightening.

0:09:39.760,0:09:41.576
I was like a man-child,

0:09:41.600,0:09:43.696
and as liberating as it often was,

0:09:43.720,0:09:45.456
I struggled.

0:09:45.480,0:09:48.971
I also learned that many of those[br]who had known me for a long time

0:09:49.040,0:09:53.129
found it impossible to abandon the idea[br]of Martin they had in their heads.

0:09:53.720,0:09:55.336
While those I had only just met

0:09:55.360,0:09:58.838
struggled to look past the image[br]of a silent man in a wheelchair.

0:10:00.000,0:10:02.736
I realized that some people[br]would only listen to me

0:10:02.760,0:10:05.760
if what I said was in line[br]with what they expected.

0:10:05.800,0:10:07.816
Otherwise, it was disregarded

0:10:07.840,0:10:10.496
and they did what they felt was best.

0:10:10.520,0:10:12.536
I discovered that true communication

0:10:12.560,0:10:15.560
is about more than merely[br]physically conveying a message.

0:10:16.400,0:10:19.360
It is about getting the message[br]heard and respected.

0:10:20.960,0:10:23.216
Still, things were going well.

0:10:23.240,0:10:25.816
My body was slowly getting stronger.

0:10:25.840,0:10:28.296
I had a job in computing that I loved,

0:10:28.320,0:10:32.472
and had even got Kojak, the dog[br]I had been dreaming about for years.

0:10:33.240,0:10:36.240
However, I longed to share[br]my life with someone.

0:10:37.200,0:10:41.265
I remember staring out the window[br]as my dad drove me home from work,

0:10:41.640,0:10:45.248
thinking I have so much love inside of me[br]and nobody to give it to.

0:10:46.360,0:10:50.444
Just as I had resigned myself[br]to being single for the rest of my life,

0:10:50.840,0:10:52.616
I met Joan.

0:10:52.640,0:10:55.640
Not only is she the best thing[br]that has ever happened to me,

0:10:56.120,0:11:00.193
but Joan helped me to challenge[br]my own misconceptions about myself.

0:11:01.040,0:11:04.628
Joan said it was through my words[br]that she fell in love with me.

0:11:05.680,0:11:08.456
However, after all I had been through,

0:11:08.480,0:11:10.216
I still couldn't shake the belief

0:11:10.240,0:11:13.240
that nobody could truly see[br]beyond my disability

0:11:13.265,0:11:15.841
and accept me for who I am.

0:11:16.080,0:11:19.080
I also really struggled[br]to comprehend that I was a man.

0:11:20.280,0:11:23.096
The first time someone[br]referred to me as a man,

0:11:23.120,0:11:25.416
it stopped me in my tracks.

0:11:25.440,0:11:28.440
I felt like looking around[br]and asking, "Who, me?"

0:11:30.080,0:11:32.256
That all changed with Joan.

0:11:32.280,0:11:33.856
We have an amazing connection

0:11:33.880,0:11:37.728
and I learned how important it is[br]to communicate openly and honestly.

0:11:38.560,0:11:42.895
I felt safe and it gave me the confidence[br]to truly say what I thought.

0:11:43.520,0:11:46.520
I started to feel whole again,[br]a man worthy of love.

0:11:47.840,0:11:50.296
I began to reshape my destiny.

0:11:50.320,0:11:52.536
I spoke up a little more at work.

0:11:52.560,0:11:55.929
I asserted my need for independence[br]to the people around me.

0:11:56.960,0:12:00.237
Being given a means of communication[br]changed everything.

0:12:00.840,0:12:04.998
I used the power of words and will[br]to challenge the preconceptions

0:12:05.080,0:12:08.080
of those around me[br]and those I had of myself.

0:12:08.680,0:12:11.376
Communication is what makes us human,

0:12:11.400,0:12:13.696
enabling us to connect[br]on the deepest level

0:12:13.720,0:12:15.656
with those around us:

0:12:15.680,0:12:17.256
Telling our own stories,

0:12:17.280,0:12:20.280
expressing wants, needs and desires,

0:12:20.920,0:12:23.920
or hearing those of others[br]by really listening.

0:12:24.080,0:12:27.080
All this is how the world[br]knows who we are.

0:12:27.440,0:12:29.240
So who are we without it?

0:12:30.480,0:12:33.480
True communication increases understanding

0:12:33.680,0:12:36.680
and creates a more caring[br]and compassionate world.

0:12:37.800,0:12:40.800
Once, I was perceived[br]to be an inanimate object,

0:12:40.920,0:12:43.920
a mindless phantom[br]of a boy in a wheelchair.

0:12:44.240,0:12:46.496
Today, I am so much more.

0:12:46.520,0:12:48.936
A husband, a son, a friend,

0:12:48.960,0:12:52.847
a brother, a business owner,[br]a first-class honors graduate,

0:12:53.240,0:12:55.576
a keen amateur photographer.

0:12:55.600,0:12:58.600
It is my ability to communicate[br]that has given me all this.

0:13:00.320,0:13:03.320
We are told that actions[br]speak louder than words.

0:13:04.040,0:13:05.976
But I wonder,

0:13:06.000,0:13:07.200
do they?

0:13:08.880,0:13:11.536
Our words, however we communicate them,

0:13:11.560,0:13:13.656
are just as powerful.

0:13:13.680,0:13:16.416
Whether we speak the words[br]with our own voices,

0:13:16.440,0:13:17.776
type them with our eyes,

0:13:17.800,0:13:21.615
or communicate them non-verbally[br]to someone who speaks them for us,

0:13:22.080,0:13:24.960
words are among our most powerful tools.

0:13:26.400,0:13:29.216
I have come to you through[br]a terrible darkness,

0:13:29.240,0:13:31.336
pulled from it by caring souls

0:13:31.360,0:13:33.696
and by language itself.

0:13:33.720,0:13:36.720
The act of you listening to me today[br]brings me farther into the light.

0:13:37.760,0:13:40.056
We are shining here together.

0:13:40.080,0:13:43.923
If there is one most difficult obstacle[br]to my way of communicating,

0:13:44.400,0:13:46.336
it is that sometimes I want to shout

0:13:46.360,0:13:49.360
and other times, to simply whisper[br]a word of love or gratitude.

0:13:50.680,0:13:52.936
It all sounds the same.

0:13:52.960,0:13:54.376
But if you will,

0:13:54.400,0:13:57.400
please imagine these next two words[br]as warmly as you can:

0:14:00.480,0:14:01.680
Thank you.

0:14:03.137,0:14:06.351
(Applause)