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Ian and Larissa asked me to read a couple of quotes

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from a man named John Piper

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who is a well-known Bible teacher

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and he talks about marriage

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and how this mystery refers to Christ and the church

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and he says this

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"Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically

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It is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love

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between Christ and his Church"

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he says, "Knowing Christ is more important

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than making a living

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treasuring Christ is more important

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than bearing children

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either way, it is short

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it may have many bright days

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or it may be covered with clouds

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but if we set our face to make of marriage

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mainly what God designed it to be

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no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way

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every one of them will be not an obstacle to success

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but a way to succeed

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the beauty of the covenant-keeping love

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between Christ and his Church

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shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it"

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Ian and I first met in 2005 at college

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and had a blast for ten months getting to know each other

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I was looking through and I found one of my favorite pictures

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which I think was actually taken right before his accident

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he set up a camera on his tripod

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and it's just a classic Ian face

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that, to me, sums up who he is

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we had been dating for ten months

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and he was working an extra job for his dad

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and he was on his way to work near Pittsburg

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and we got a phone call that he had been in an accident

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and we didn't know if it was when he got to work

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or on his way

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and so we got down to Pittsburg

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and I was just praying the whole time in the car

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that it wouldn't be his brain

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after being at the hospital for a few hours

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we found out that it was

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and he had been in brain surgery for a few hours

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and had suffered a traumatic brain injury

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God totally spared his life

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one night he was failing four out of five brain activity tests

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and the next morning he was doing well

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and his brain was starting to respond again

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I moved in with his family after the accident

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so I was really involved in his therapy

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and just did whatever I could to make his life fun

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we'd go out on dates and, looking back, it's weird

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cause he couldn't talk

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and he couldn't eat

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so we probably looked like complete weirdos being on dates

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but we had a blast and I just talked to him all the time

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I knew that before Ian's accident he was very serious

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about marriage and was ring shopping

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so I knew where he was

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and that helped me so much

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after he couldn't talk

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I knew that he loved me

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and I knew where he wanted the relationship to go

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because we were dating very intentionally

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we just prayed that marriage would someday happen

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and watched all of our friends get married

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and start having families

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and that was challenging

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but we just tried to hold out hope

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that that would be us someday

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This is our board of gratefulness

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and we encourage anybody who comes in

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to write a note of something they're thankful for

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it could be really small

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mine is just Saturday mornings

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it's just a good way that we found to be

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just practicing gratefulness

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Ian, I think half of yours say, "My wifey"

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yeah

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which is pretty cool

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yeah

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we decided that we couldn't really

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consider marriage as an option

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until Ian was able to communicate

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but if he could communicate with me

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then we could have a marriage

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knowing it would be really different

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but as long as Ian could talk to me

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then we could make it work

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so once Ian began communicating

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it became a little bit more of an option

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and then we just kind of watched Ian progress

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Hi, husband!

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Hi, wifey!

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How are you?

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Fine. How are you?

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What?

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How are you?

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I'm good, it's good to see you

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How was your day? Good?

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Good, yes

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A conversation I had with his dad

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it was one of those conversations

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where I realized this could happen

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then that August his dad was diagnosed with brain cancer

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and at that point his dad's biggest concern was Ian and I

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and whether or not we were going to get married

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or step away from our relationship

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he wanted us to make a decision

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to move our lives in some direction

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he passed away before he was able to see us get engaged

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but that was a huge impetus in why we started to pursue engagement

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throughout premarital counseling

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we just used This Momentary Marriage

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it was so helpful because John Piper talked a lot about

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primary things and secondary things

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which is real important for us

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because we were walking out our marriage practically

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Ian can't do the secondary things like working

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or making a meal for me

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everything that's primary, though, he can do

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which is leading me spiritually

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Ian always comes back to

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the foundational truths of who God is

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and kind of reels me back in from my emotions

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and that's the most important thing

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we have two friends that we're going through the book with

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I think we've just been able to help them see

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that maybe the little things that they're excited for

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about marriage are worth being excited about

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but they're not the end-all and be-all of their marriage

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but we also have so much to learn

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and we're learning from them

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and things that they share

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because our relationships are different

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and we can glean different things from each other

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I think what helped us in deciding to make

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this commitment to each other

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at least for me

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is knowing that Ian wouldn't have left me

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if the roles were reversed

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and that we love each other and we know

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that God is going to be faithful to our marriage

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we're able to love each other

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with, I think, a more Christ-like love

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because of Ian's disability

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and just understand that picture

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a little bit better than if you were healthy

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Do you agree?

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Yes

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What about God enables you to have a happy marriage?

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You know...

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What?

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He's awesome!

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He's awesome?

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Yeah

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"When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay."

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Desiring God exists to spread the truth that

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God is most glorified in us 
when we are most satisfied in him.