It’s the FCB Factor!
The search for Niko Kovac’s replacement!
Jose from Portugal!
I’ve won the league in England,
I’ve won the league in Spain In Portugal and Italy
But those leagues are totally lame!
What? SHUT UP! Jose Jose
What?
Jose, we all know your talent has faded with age.
That’s a little bit rich.
Ha
And so are you after all those sackings.
We don’t think you’ll be motivated to succeed here.
Well how is this for being motivated?
I’ve already started learning German!
Listen:
Ich bin derjenige,
der besondere Bedürfnisse hat!
What did he say?
I am the special needs one, sniggers
Bastian Schweinsteiger has been giving me lessons.
Ha. Well done Schweiny. NEXT!
Jurgen from Germany!
You’re through to boot camp!
Woh woh woh. I don’t really want this job I just came to show Phil this
Here’s what you could have won! Boom!
Shit Adam Lallana!
You’re just a shit Adam Lallana!
I’m out of here. See you in 2022!
What?
Ernesto from the...
People’s Democratic Republic of Catalonia!
Congratulations!
You’re through to Boot Camp!
Arsene from France!
Bonjour can I start by asking if you have
a Bayern Munich Fan TV YouTube Channel?
No we don’t.
You see Arsene, we are a big club.
Perfect... Then count me in! You should choose me because I guarantee
I will win lots of these
some of these
and absolutely none of these
Damn you Gnabry!
Wait, let’s have a vote.
All those in favour of Mr. Wenger say AYE
AYE!
All those against!
AYE!
Oh, what a surprise, you lost 5-1!
DAMN YOU MULLER!
Argh! Son of a bitch!
Louis from the Netherlands
Security to the stage please, quick! Before he shows me his testicles again!
Too Late!
Unai from Spain!
Guten abend
Gute nacht!
It’s a no from me.
You’d probably sign David Luiz,
AKA The Brazilian Boateng.
It’s a no from me.
You’d probably make Jerome Boateng captain
Ha. Good one Phil.
Though not as funny as me, naturally. Next
Pep from Spain!
No no no. I’m not here for my old job back.
You should be so lucky!
I’m just here to negotiate
the sale of Leroy Sane.
His leg is much better now.
Leroy is missing
a lower leg and he still doesn’t dive!
Take note, Sadio Mane!
Nico from Croatia
No, no, no.
I just wondered if
you wouldn’t mind giving me a reference?
Just a few sentences?
Or even just a few words, anything really
Security to the stage please,
security to the stage
Niclas, will you… give… me a ...
Rafael from Spain!
You should pick me because...
I’ll save you a lot of money!
Er, how so?
Well instead of paying me in euros,
you can pay me in bratwurst!
Not again.
The last time this happened
it took them three hours to get me out.
It’s a good job I have enough food
to last me at least the next 15 minutes.
Mauricio from Argentina!
Not a chance Poch!
Even we managed to beat you 7-2!
And we didn’t have a manager!
You had me!
Precisely. Ha! Security!
Massimiliano from job center!
Good evening.
Plagiarist!
Massimo - why should we choose you?
Because I have unparallelled experience
of managing in a one-team league.
You’re through to boot camp!
Join us next time to see
how Allegri and Valverde
get on at Boot Camp and to see how
and why the judges will no doubt
end up choosing
Jupp Heynckes as their next coach! Good night!