Oh! Four! I mean five!
I mean fire!
Let's see what we have here.
'Stand upright.'
Now I can't read it.
Not me! I am a giddy goat.
Ok. 'Remove safety clip.'
Don't look at my feet!
Fire! Fire!
OK.
'Aim nozzle at base of fire.'
Ah, that is typical.
Why'd it done that ?
Ah!
I'll just put this over here
with the rest of the fire.
(singing) 0 1 1 5 3 ... no!
0 1 1 8
0 1 1 8 9 9 9
(humming the 'emergency number' tune)
... 3
Hallo? Is this the Emergency Services?
Then which country am I speaking to?
Hallo? Hallo?
I know! Yep.
Subject: Fire
Dear Sir 'stroke' Madam,
I am writing to inform you
of a fire
which has broken out at the premises of...
No, that's too formal.
Dear Sir 'stroke' Madam,
Fire! 'exclamation mark'
Help me! 'exclamation mark'
123 Carendon Road
Looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best,
Maurice Moss