1 00:00:31,002 --> 00:00:35,492 How to get rid of anxiety. 2 00:00:35,742 --> 00:00:38,882 Hello everyone. I'm really excited about today's video, 3 00:00:38,882 --> 00:00:41,782 because I'm someone who's suffered from post-traumatic stress 4 00:00:41,782 --> 00:00:44,183 disorder for many many years. 5 00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:48,542 This means that anxiety is something I've struggled with for a long time. 6 00:00:48,542 --> 00:00:51,609 And the thing about struggling with something for a long time is 7 00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:54,697 it has a way of forcing you to figure out what to do about it. 8 00:00:54,897 --> 00:01:00,361 Taking medications for anxiety is not the best option. 9 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:05,331 Not only is it the least effective way that you can deal with anxiety, 10 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,945 it's very harmful to the body to take these medications, 11 00:01:08,945 --> 00:01:11,611 and these medications are addictive. 12 00:01:11,611 --> 00:01:15,800 Any time you take something, a medication, a chemical, 13 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,991 your body compensates for the presence of that chemical within your system. 14 00:01:21,221 --> 00:01:26,693 So what your brain essentially does is it stops producing the chemicals 15 00:01:26,693 --> 00:01:29,852 that you're taking via that pill. 16 00:01:30,312 --> 00:01:33,609 So what you'll find when you try to go to get off that pill 17 00:01:33,609 --> 00:01:37,449 is that your body is no longer producing those chemicals on its own. 18 00:01:37,449 --> 00:01:42,417 There's a lag time between the time that you've stopped taking the medication, 19 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:46,398 and the time that your body recompensates for the absence of that chemical. 20 00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:50,245 And most people can't make it through that lag time. 21 00:01:50,798 --> 00:01:55,712 In other words, living life is just too painful off of the medication 22 00:01:55,712 --> 00:01:58,626 because the body hasn't recompensated fast enough 23 00:01:58,626 --> 00:02:02,245 for the person to be able to cope with their life. 24 00:02:02,384 --> 00:02:04,733 Anxiety is a worldwide problem. 25 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,756 It is a problem where our own biology, 26 00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:10,027 which was designed to ensure our survival as hunters and gatherers, 27 00:02:10,027 --> 00:02:12,779 is sabotaging our bodies and minds. 28 00:02:12,779 --> 00:02:17,287 When we feel fear or stress, our body releases cortisol, 29 00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:19,090 which is a stress hormone. 30 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:22,755 This cortisol release is part of a fight-or-flight response. 31 00:02:22,755 --> 00:02:25,122 Back in the day it enabled us to do things like 32 00:02:25,122 --> 00:02:28,757 jump out of the way of an attacking predator or a falling rock. 33 00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:32,592 In today's world those kinds of dangers aren't as relevant. 34 00:02:32,592 --> 00:02:34,258 But even though they aren't relevant 35 00:02:34,258 --> 00:02:37,373 we still have the same biological reaction to stress. 36 00:02:37,373 --> 00:02:41,145 Any time we perceive danger, our body reacts the same way it would 37 00:02:41,145 --> 00:02:45,921 if our survival were at risk, and our fight-or-flight response is triggered. 38 00:02:45,921 --> 00:02:49,382 The body releases cortisol when we get cut off on the highway, 39 00:02:49,382 --> 00:02:51,600 our body releases cortisol when we think about 40 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,556 being unable to pay the bills on time, 41 00:02:53,556 --> 00:02:57,383 our body releases cortisol when we are approached by our boss. 42 00:02:57,383 --> 00:03:01,284 What's more, our body releases cortisol every time we think a fearful thought. 43 00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:04,915 Basically, instead of our modern lives being less stressful, 44 00:03:04,915 --> 00:03:08,421 they're an absolute minefield of stress-inducing scenarios. 45 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,793 This means that cortisol, the stress hormone, 46 00:03:10,793 --> 00:03:13,866 is wreaking havoc on us in our day-to-day lives. 47 00:03:13,866 --> 00:03:18,139 Elevated cortisol levels doesn't just affect the way we feel emotionally, 48 00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:20,891 it interferes with learning and memory; 49 00:03:20,891 --> 00:03:23,615 it lowers immune function and bone density; 50 00:03:23,615 --> 00:03:25,894 it causes an increase in weight gain, 51 00:03:25,894 --> 00:03:29,198 blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart disease; 52 00:03:29,198 --> 00:03:31,783 it can trigger other mental illnesses; 53 00:03:31,783 --> 00:03:34,443 it increases the likelihood of depression; 54 00:03:34,443 --> 00:03:36,998 and it lowers our resiliency. 55 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:40,674 Anyone who suffers with anxiety 56 00:03:40,674 --> 00:03:43,868 has a problem with one of our basic human needs, 57 00:03:43,868 --> 00:03:47,005 and that basic human need is certainty. 58 00:03:47,005 --> 00:03:49,340 What do we mean by certainty? 59 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,921 We mean that feeling of internal security 60 00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:57,747 that we know that we can avoid pain and gain pleasure. 61 00:03:57,967 --> 00:04:02,888 Those of us who have anxiety don't know that this is true. 62 00:04:02,888 --> 00:04:08,229 That basic human need isn't met. Instead we feel powerless to our own lives, 63 00:04:08,229 --> 00:04:11,522 we feel fear relative to our own lives, 64 00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:16,735 and that causes our body to trigger the fight-or-flight response. 65 00:04:16,735 --> 00:04:22,703 It causes us to release cortisol, and when that happens we feel more anxious, 66 00:04:22,703 --> 00:04:27,288 so our body releases more cortisol, and that causes us to feel more anxious, 67 00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:32,379 which causes us to release more cortisol, and now we're caught in a snowball; 68 00:04:32,379 --> 00:04:34,546 we can't stop feeling anxious, 69 00:04:34,546 --> 00:04:38,763 our anxiety snowballs into serious panic attacks 70 00:04:38,763 --> 00:04:44,625 because we don't have the ability to meet our own need of certainty. 71 00:04:45,265 --> 00:04:48,458 Normally there would be an outlet for this rush of anxiety when 72 00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:50,541 the fight-or-flight response is triggered, 73 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,794 such as running away from the perceived threat 74 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:56,270 or screaming and crying, which brings up cortisol within the body. 75 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:57,600 But in today's modern world 76 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,349 there is no obvious course of action for the anxiety we feel, 77 00:05:01,349 --> 00:05:06,891 there is no outlet for that energy. So we have to create one, or many. 78 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:11,484 One of the best ways to do this is through exercise on a daily basis. 79 00:05:11,874 --> 00:05:15,743 Any aerobic or cardiac activity will burn cortisol. 80 00:05:15,743 --> 00:05:19,330 It will create an outlet to release the pent-up energy that is associated 81 00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:23,332 with the fight-or-flight response, and 20 to 30 minutes is all you need 82 00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:26,583 to engage your body's natural ability to produce endorphins. 83 00:05:26,583 --> 00:05:29,377 Endorphins are a bit like naturally ocurring opiates, 84 00:05:29,377 --> 00:05:32,375 they relax you and induce a feeling of well-being. 85 00:05:32,935 --> 00:05:36,624 Eating foods that reduce anxiety is really important. 86 00:05:36,624 --> 00:05:39,541 There are foods that increase your anxiety, 87 00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:41,962 and there are foods that decrease your anxiety. 88 00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:46,292 It's important that you choose a diet that stabilises your blood sugar. 89 00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:51,405 When your blood sugar drops and it's low, the portion of your brain that's in charge 90 00:05:51,405 --> 00:05:54,152 of the fight-or-flight response is triggered, 91 00:05:54,152 --> 00:05:58,459 so you're more likely to feel anxiety throughout your day. 92 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:04,790 Avoid fried foods, caffeine, high-glycemic carbohydrates, 93 00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:08,463 sugar, and alcoholic beverages. 94 00:06:08,463 --> 00:06:12,185 Some foods to include in your diet that have been shown to reduce anxiety 95 00:06:12,185 --> 00:06:18,319 for various reasons are: seaweed, also called nori; kimchi; 96 00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:23,536 whole grains such as brown rice, farro, and quinoa; 97 00:06:23,536 --> 00:06:31,707 blueberries; dark chocolate; maca root; vitamin B-12 and vitamin B-6; 98 00:06:31,707 --> 00:06:35,587 omega-3 fatty acids like flax-seed oil; 99 00:06:35,587 --> 00:06:41,510 chamomile tea, oolong tea, and oatstraw tea; 100 00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:46,168 nuts, pumpkin seeds, and edamame. 101 00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:50,974 Any kind of meditation, visualization, 102 00:06:50,974 --> 00:06:56,564 or relaxation technique such as yoga, qigong, or tai-chi, 103 00:06:56,564 --> 00:06:59,154 will lower cortisol levels in the body, 104 00:06:59,154 --> 00:07:02,353 so sign up for those classes. 105 00:07:02,815 --> 00:07:08,286 Form close-knit human bonds. It's been shown over and over again 106 00:07:08,286 --> 00:07:11,927 that when we form connections with other people 107 00:07:11,927 --> 00:07:15,511 we are reducing cortisol within the body. 108 00:07:15,511 --> 00:07:18,678 Our parasympathetic nervous system is sedated 109 00:07:18,678 --> 00:07:22,217 when we are in close physical contact with other people, 110 00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:25,429 when we feel a sense of connection with them. 111 00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:27,598 Develop these connections. 112 00:07:27,598 --> 00:07:34,512 Humans are a social species. Isolation will increase your anxiety. 113 00:07:34,512 --> 00:07:37,677 Seek opportunities to laugh; 114 00:07:37,677 --> 00:07:41,153 when you're laughing your body can't perceive that it is in danger, 115 00:07:41,153 --> 00:07:44,345 because you're sending it the message that it's safe. 116 00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:47,037 So watch that stand-up comedian, 117 00:07:47,037 --> 00:07:50,260 watch those youtube shows that make you laugh. 118 00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:54,179 Seek any kind of fun that you can find, 119 00:07:54,179 --> 00:07:58,209 this will significantly reduce your levels of anxiety. 120 00:07:58,209 --> 00:08:01,297 It's also really important to get enough sleep, 121 00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:04,428 let yourself get 8 hours a night at least. 122 00:08:04,428 --> 00:08:10,537 Sleep is designed to reduce stress levels. When you fall asleep, you are realigning 123 00:08:10,537 --> 00:08:14,057 with your non-physical perspective, you're releasing all of the resistance 124 00:08:14,057 --> 00:08:16,723 that you carry with you on a daily basis, 125 00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:19,645 you're coming into alignment into a state of allowing, 126 00:08:19,645 --> 00:08:22,975 which is the opposite of anxiety. 127 00:08:22,975 --> 00:08:27,480 Allow yourself the opportunity to release your resistance in this way. 128 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,228 Sleep is essential for those people who suffer from anxiety. 129 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:37,060 Your fight-or-flight response is triggered when you don't get enough sleep, 130 00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:40,391 in the same way that it's triggered by low blood sugar, 131 00:08:40,391 --> 00:08:44,422 so it's really important that you let yourself get at least 8 hours a night. 132 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:48,716 Sleep is the opportunity for you to come into alignment, 133 00:08:48,716 --> 00:08:53,120 to release all of the resistance that you've built up in your day-to-day life. 134 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,211 Take advantage of that opportunity. 135 00:08:56,980 --> 00:09:00,750 Release your emotion. One of the best ways to do this 136 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:04,834 is to talk to someone about it, or if you don't want to do that, 137 00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:08,696 to release your emotion by writing or typing it out. 138 00:09:08,696 --> 00:09:12,195 I don't want you to judge what's coming up. 139 00:09:12,195 --> 00:09:14,078 Whenever you feel anxiety, just sit down 140 00:09:14,078 --> 00:09:16,280 with that paper or in front of the computer, 141 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:22,214 and start typing anything that comes out, all of your worry and stressful thoughts. 142 00:09:22,214 --> 00:09:24,884 I want you to just type them as fast 143 00:09:24,884 --> 00:09:28,412 as you can possibly type them without judging them. 144 00:09:28,642 --> 00:09:34,028 I want you to put down anything, no matter how nonsensical it may seem. 145 00:09:34,028 --> 00:09:38,892 Your body needs to release that energy, so let it release that energy. 146 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:44,239 I have an example of a page that I wrote this week 147 00:09:44,239 --> 00:09:48,524 to release my own anxiety, so this is what this will sound like. 148 00:09:48,524 --> 00:09:51,692 I'm flipping out, I hate my life, what the hell was I thinking? 149 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,357 My stomach hurts, I feel like crap. 150 00:09:53,357 --> 00:09:56,026 I hate people. I'm not getting anywhere. 151 00:09:56,026 --> 00:10:00,776 They won't publish my book. My fan is making me cold. 152 00:10:00,776 --> 00:10:03,048 I don't want to move, I can't move I'm stuck. 153 00:10:03,048 --> 00:10:05,760 I hate life, I should quit. I'm the worst parent on earth. 154 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,580 I'm not hungry. I hate that everyone expects me to make breakfast. 155 00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:11,217 God dammit. I have a session today. I don't wanna do it. 156 00:10:11,227 --> 00:10:13,024 What the hell am I gonna say to them? 157 00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:15,099 Kill yourself now coz it doesn't get better? 158 00:10:15,099 --> 00:10:17,769 Fuck my life. I hate it here. I wanna die. 159 00:10:17,769 --> 00:10:20,332 I'm too fucked up to do anything good. 160 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,433 I wanna remind most of you 161 00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:26,740 that there'll be a lot of swearing in this exercise. 162 00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:31,601 This expression process is not the time to be politically correct or polite. 163 00:10:31,601 --> 00:10:36,622 I want you to get out anything that you emotionally feel and are struggling with. 164 00:10:36,622 --> 00:10:39,291 Listen to music. 165 00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:43,466 Deliberately create playlists for yourself that reduce your anxiety. 166 00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:49,181 For me, dinner jazz works wonders, as does any music that allows me to bleed emotion. 167 00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:53,474 Certain musicians, for me it's Thomas Newman, have the ability to create tones 168 00:10:53,474 --> 00:10:57,808 that make you feel like the emotion that is trapped in you is being leeched out. 169 00:10:57,808 --> 00:11:00,813 Motivating music works well too because it inspires you 170 00:11:00,813 --> 00:11:03,569 towards seeking an outlet for your stress. 171 00:11:03,569 --> 00:11:06,825 You want to avoid any music that stimulates your nervous system, 172 00:11:06,825 --> 00:11:10,574 makes you feel stressed, or provokes negative emotion. 173 00:11:10,574 --> 00:11:17,242 Breathing exercises works for anxiety, that is, taking a long deep breath in, 174 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:22,154 and a long deep breath out, breathing deep into your belly 175 00:11:22,154 --> 00:11:24,818 instead of staying up here in shallow breathing 176 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:28,886 where you're just pulling energy into your lungs. 177 00:11:28,886 --> 00:11:33,301 Breathing techniques have been shown to reduce cortisol again and again. 178 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:36,137 My anxiety was so bad throughout my life 179 00:11:36,137 --> 00:11:38,637 that breathing exercises was a little bit like 180 00:11:38,637 --> 00:11:43,018 chipping at a glacier with a spoon, so I prefer to use breathing exercises 181 00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:47,442 in conjunction with other exercises instead of purely on its own. 182 00:11:47,442 --> 00:11:51,280 But try these breathing exercises, you can find them all over the internet, 183 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,719 and see how they work for you. 184 00:11:53,719 --> 00:11:57,468 The bottom line if you suffer from anxiety is that you have to allow yourself 185 00:11:57,468 --> 00:12:01,639 to do what is necessary to make yourself feel good throughout the day. 186 00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:04,296 You've got to be deliberate about how you wake up. 187 00:12:04,296 --> 00:12:06,803 You've got to be deliberate about how you go to sleep 188 00:12:06,803 --> 00:12:09,801 and how you structure your life in between, 189 00:12:09,801 --> 00:12:13,346 and this kind of self care has got to be okay for you. 190 00:12:13,346 --> 00:12:17,469 If you suffer from anxiety you have a highly sensitive system, 191 00:12:17,469 --> 00:12:19,821 that doesn't mean that something's wrong with you. 192 00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:22,304 Potentially it means that something's right with you, 193 00:12:22,304 --> 00:12:24,554 and everyone else is just shut down. 194 00:12:24,554 --> 00:12:31,053 Take the time to structure your life to give yourself this TLC. 195 00:12:31,053 --> 00:12:36,797 You need to really commit to self care if you suffer from anxiety. 196 00:12:37,347 --> 00:12:41,099 I was one of those people who woke up with such bad anxiety attacks 197 00:12:41,099 --> 00:12:44,220 that after an hour or two of struggling with them in the morning, 198 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:47,580 I'd end up suicidal or self-injuring. 199 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:54,009 But I have actually found a routine that works for me perfectly. 200 00:12:54,009 --> 00:12:59,137 But I will tell you that even to this day, if I don't do this routine 201 00:12:59,137 --> 00:13:02,223 I still wake up with anxiety attacks. 202 00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,737 I'm gonna share this routine with you today. 203 00:13:04,737 --> 00:13:07,802 Keep in mind that the routine that works for you may be different 204 00:13:07,802 --> 00:13:09,942 than the one that works for me. 205 00:13:09,942 --> 00:13:14,640 The goal, if you suffer from anxiety, is to collect all kinds of tools 206 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:18,032 and all kinds of processes that you can apply throughout your day 207 00:13:18,032 --> 00:13:23,371 that work specifically for you, to set up your own individual unique routine. 208 00:13:23,371 --> 00:13:24,996 Here's mine: 209 00:13:24,996 --> 00:13:31,719 1. When I first wake up, before I even open my eyes, I take 8 deep breaths 210 00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:37,425 where I'm holding my breath for the count of 8 at the top, so it looks like this. 211 00:13:45,423 --> 00:13:47,407 I do that 8 times. 212 00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:50,528 2. I immediately go get something to eat. 213 00:13:50,528 --> 00:13:53,315 Cortisol levels are highest first thing in the morning, 214 00:13:53,315 --> 00:13:55,756 which is why so many people who suffer from anxiety 215 00:13:55,756 --> 00:13:58,677 wake up with panic attacks. When blood sugar is low, 216 00:13:58,677 --> 00:14:02,558 like it is first thing in the morning, it triggers your fight-or-flight response, 217 00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:05,360 so we need to get our blood sugar levels up and quickly. 218 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,081 But we don't want to spike our blood sugar. 219 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,290 That's just setting ourselves up for failure later in the day. 220 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:14,384 So we want to choose foods that stabilise our blood sugar. 221 00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:17,464 I usually choose a handful of almonds and berries, 222 00:14:17,464 --> 00:14:21,138 a raw formula meal replacer or protein powder 223 00:14:21,138 --> 00:14:24,226 mixed with coconut milk or almond milk, 224 00:14:24,226 --> 00:14:27,976 or a banana with mixed nuts and water. 225 00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:30,016 3. I write in my expression journal. 226 00:14:30,016 --> 00:14:33,651 This is the place I allow myself to unleash all my fearful negative thoughts 227 00:14:33,651 --> 00:14:36,858 and worries so I have an outlet for that anxious feeling. 228 00:14:36,858 --> 00:14:39,279 4. I write in my gratitude journal. 229 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,532 This orients my focus from my thoughts that were causing me to panic, 230 00:14:42,532 --> 00:14:44,955 to the thoughts that induce a feeling of well-being. 231 00:14:44,955 --> 00:14:48,482 It forces me to look for and pay attention to things that make me feel good 232 00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:51,867 and thus begin to feel that the life I'm living might actually be good, 233 00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:55,214 and this causes my fight-or-flight response to shut off. 234 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,116 5. I exercise. 235 00:14:58,116 --> 00:15:00,127 I have collected a group of people who feel 236 00:15:00,127 --> 00:15:02,323 more motivated to work out when we're together, 237 00:15:02,323 --> 00:15:04,904 and now we all go out together in the morning and hike 238 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,741 or speed-walk or do plyometric training, or ski together. 239 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,512 The connection I feel with them reduces my cortisol levels 240 00:15:10,512 --> 00:15:12,561 and the exercise itself burns off cortisol 241 00:15:12,561 --> 00:15:16,481 and introduces endorphins into my blood stream. 242 00:15:16,481 --> 00:15:21,574 6. When I get back from exercising I drink two 8 oz glasses of water. 243 00:15:21,574 --> 00:15:26,246 This allows my liver to rid my body of excess hormones. 244 00:15:26,246 --> 00:15:32,445 Your liver is the organ in your body that deals with excess hormones 245 00:15:32,445 --> 00:15:35,444 and remember that cortisol is a hormone. 246 00:15:35,444 --> 00:15:38,379 I also keep sipping water throughout the day, 247 00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:41,383 and I make sure that this water isn't tap water; 248 00:15:41,383 --> 00:15:44,218 I make sure that it's spring water or artesian well water, 249 00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:48,032 or some kind of water that isn't completely full of chemicals. 250 00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:52,058 7. I let myself be a diva. 251 00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:54,231 What do I mean by this? 252 00:15:54,231 --> 00:15:56,161 Most of us who suffer from anxiety 253 00:15:56,161 --> 00:15:58,186 have perfected the art of forcing ourselves 254 00:15:58,186 --> 00:16:00,656 to do things that feel terrible to us emotionally. 255 00:16:00,656 --> 00:16:03,315 We end up having breakdowns because our nervous systems 256 00:16:03,315 --> 00:16:05,908 perceive danger everywhere we turn. 257 00:16:05,908 --> 00:16:09,203 We need to allow ourselves to live a little unconventionally 258 00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:11,205 and do unconventional things 259 00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:14,515 if it would enable us to feel safer and more relaxed. 260 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,447 For example, I get extreme anxiety 261 00:16:18,447 --> 00:16:21,229 when I am going anywhere by myself. 262 00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:23,931 The traditional model of dealing with fear 263 00:16:23,931 --> 00:16:26,552 says that you should force yourself to be alone 264 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:29,435 so that your body will desensitize to it. 265 00:16:29,435 --> 00:16:32,024 This forcing your body to desensitize 266 00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,995 is forcing your body to dissociate, 267 00:16:33,995 --> 00:16:37,150 so it's not actually solving any major problem, 268 00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:41,490 what it's doing is causing you to shut off to your emotional guidance system. 269 00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:44,697 It's pretty much the dumbest thing you can do. 270 00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:48,829 It's never self loving to force yourself to get over something. 271 00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:53,083 That is a harsh approach, it is not a gentle approach. 272 00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:57,085 And if you take a harsh approach to something that's feeling anxious, 273 00:16:57,085 --> 00:17:01,951 what you're doing is you're adding punishment on top of fear. 274 00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:03,942 Sounds like a good idea to me. [sarcasm] 275 00:17:03,942 --> 00:17:06,869 More often than not, all a rough approach does 276 00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:10,968 when it comes to fear is cause us to have mental breakdowns. 277 00:17:11,966 --> 00:17:16,393 So, I allow myself to take people I associate with safety 278 00:17:16,393 --> 00:17:19,795 and home with me when I go places. 279 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,910 Remember that if anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't 280 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:27,530 live in a specific way, it is projection. They are imposing their perspective 281 00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:30,492 on your life and asking you to validate their perspective. 282 00:17:30,492 --> 00:17:31,957 This is not your job. 283 00:17:31,957 --> 00:17:36,243 Your job is to find out what feels most empowering and joyful to you personally 284 00:17:36,243 --> 00:17:39,465 and then allow yourselves to do those things. 285 00:17:39,675 --> 00:17:42,290 We do not get upset when someone who is in a wheelchair 286 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,906 needs to structure his or her life a little differently 287 00:17:44,906 --> 00:17:46,781 in order to have a pleasant experience. 288 00:17:46,781 --> 00:17:50,446 We should not get upset with ourselves if our tendency towards anxiety 289 00:17:50,446 --> 00:17:52,506 causes us to have to structure our life 290 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:55,631 a little differently in order to have a pleasant experience. 291 00:17:55,631 --> 00:17:59,026 If we are all loving in alignment, we would all be structuring our lives 292 00:17:59,026 --> 00:18:02,233 a little differently according to our own desires and needs. 293 00:18:03,217 --> 00:18:06,561 If you suffer from anxiety, it is extremely important 294 00:18:06,561 --> 00:18:10,358 that you practice the art of self-loving. 295 00:18:10,482 --> 00:18:12,740 This is how it works: 296 00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:18,129 If you're a person like me who has an issue with anxiety when you are alone, 297 00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:21,425 in the beginning it's not very loving to yourself 298 00:18:21,425 --> 00:18:25,096 to force yourself to go somewhere alone. 299 00:18:25,096 --> 00:18:28,394 But eventually you might find that something happens. 300 00:18:28,394 --> 00:18:32,396 It no longer feels empowering, it no longer feels self-loving and good 301 00:18:32,396 --> 00:18:36,436 for you to be stuck in a situation where you can't go places alone. 302 00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:39,961 And that's the time that you can start venturing out 303 00:18:39,961 --> 00:18:44,882 and practicing being alone, practicing taking trips alone, 304 00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:49,352 and only at that point will that action be self-loving. 305 00:18:49,352 --> 00:18:52,930 Only at that point will it be in alignment with your empowerment, 306 00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:55,725 instead of fuel your anxiety. 307 00:18:55,725 --> 00:18:59,812 So you need to be very honest with yourself about where you currently are, 308 00:18:59,812 --> 00:19:06,440 and you need only take steps towards self-love, that means the only time 309 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:11,018 you should try to solve anything relative to the anxiety you suffer 310 00:19:11,018 --> 00:19:15,440 is if it feels self-loving and empowering to do it 311 00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:23,422 8. I make sure that before I go to bed I'm in a good vibrational space. 312 00:19:23,422 --> 00:19:25,715 That means, I watch funny movies, 313 00:19:25,715 --> 00:19:30,267 I watch proposal videos on youtube, I play board games, 314 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:33,348 I cuddle with my communal family members. 315 00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:38,954 I do anything that puts me in a good mood so that my focus is not on worry. 316 00:19:39,472 --> 00:19:42,478 This is a good time to write in your gratitude journal. 317 00:19:42,478 --> 00:19:44,192 Sometimes, right before I go to bed, 318 00:19:44,192 --> 00:19:46,428 I sit down and I write an entire list of things 319 00:19:46,428 --> 00:19:49,200 that I feel grateful for throughout the day. 320 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,951 We dream in accordance with what we think about during our day-to-day lives, 321 00:19:53,951 --> 00:19:56,786 especially what we think about right before we go to bed. 322 00:19:56,786 --> 00:19:59,962 So you don't want to have nightmares based on thinking about things 323 00:19:59,962 --> 00:20:03,420 that cause you to feel anxiety right before you go to sleep. 324 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:08,326 And another thing, when you wake up and you rephase with your physical body, 325 00:20:08,526 --> 00:20:13,225 you will pick up where you left off, meaning that if you've been thinking about 326 00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:19,271 things that cause you to feel anxious, you will pick up in an anxious state of mind, 327 00:20:19,271 --> 00:20:24,565 and that will set your day off already on a very bad foot. 328 00:20:25,227 --> 00:20:27,820 So you want to make sure to structure your life, 329 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,951 especially relative to before you go to bed, 330 00:20:29,951 --> 00:20:33,337 in a way that you're building a platform for success for the day 331 00:20:33,337 --> 00:20:36,210 that you're about to lead when you wake up in the morning. 332 00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:41,133 9. I ask someone to rub my feet or tickle my skin softly when I'm laying in bed. 333 00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:44,270 This physical contact makes me feel safe, 334 00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:48,005 and like all human connection, it reduces cortisol levels in my body. 335 00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:51,508 If the idea of physical contact makes you more anxious, you can buy 336 00:20:51,508 --> 00:20:55,753 hand-held massagers, massager pillows, and massage chairs, 337 00:20:55,753 --> 00:20:58,315 to help you wind down at the end of the day. 338 00:20:58,315 --> 00:21:03,006 10. I'm very deliberate about what I eat. 339 00:21:03,006 --> 00:21:08,156 I've structured my diet in a way that stabilizes my blood sugar all day long. 340 00:21:08,156 --> 00:21:11,588 I make sure that I eat small snacks throughout the day, 341 00:21:11,588 --> 00:21:16,206 Instead of eating three large meals, and letting my blood sugar drop in between. 342 00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:23,257 I have found that diet is one of the most important keys to controlling my anxiety, 343 00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:28,677 so it's really important that you try that out relative to yourself as well. 344 00:21:29,277 --> 00:21:33,569 Anxiety is the body reflecting the thoughts that you're thinking, 345 00:21:33,569 --> 00:21:37,985 and if you suffer from anxiety that means that you spend your time 346 00:21:37,985 --> 00:21:44,225 thinking thoughts that vibrate in the body at the frequency of fear. 347 00:21:44,479 --> 00:21:46,876 Questioning your fearful thoughts and changing them 348 00:21:46,876 --> 00:21:49,628 will do more for your anxiety than anything else. 349 00:21:49,628 --> 00:21:55,008 When you feel that feeling of anxiety, try to identify the thought or thoughts 350 00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:58,214 that you're thinking, and question them one by one. 351 00:21:58,214 --> 00:22:01,096 Byron Katie developed a process called The Work, 352 00:22:01,096 --> 00:22:02,709 for questioning your beliefs. 353 00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:06,127 In my opinion it's the best process out there for questioning beliefs, 354 00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:08,792 and I developed a process for changing beliefs. 355 00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:10,879 You can find it on youtube. 356 00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:12,866 I present it in a video titled: 357 00:22:12,866 --> 00:22:15,074 How to change a beleif. 358 00:22:15,151 --> 00:22:17,915 Now remember if you're having a full blown panic attack 359 00:22:17,915 --> 00:22:19,581 I made a video called: 360 00:22:19,581 --> 00:22:21,484 How to stop a Panic Attack. 361 00:22:21,484 --> 00:22:23,165 It's on youtube as well. 362 00:22:23,165 --> 00:22:26,951 In this video I'll lead you through a process that ends panic attacks. 363 00:22:26,951 --> 00:22:30,375 Panic attacks are a little bit different than anxiety. 364 00:22:30,375 --> 00:22:32,833 They're a more intense extension of anxiety. 365 00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:34,486 So if you're having a panic attack, 366 00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:37,750 instead of watching this video, and utilizing these tools, 367 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:42,498 I want you to go turn to that video, and follow along with that process. 368 00:22:42,882 --> 00:22:48,169 As I said earlier, people who suffer from anxiety have a difficult time believing 369 00:22:48,169 --> 00:22:53,801 that they create their own reality. They don't have a way yet 370 00:22:53,801 --> 00:22:59,766 of fulfilling the basic human need of certainty. The certainty that they can 371 00:22:59,766 --> 00:23:05,689 structure their life to gain pleasure and not experience pain. 372 00:23:06,181 --> 00:23:08,276 This means if you suffer from anxiety 373 00:23:08,276 --> 00:23:11,193 it's extremely important that you're deliberate 374 00:23:11,193 --> 00:23:13,862 about what you put your focus on. 375 00:23:14,415 --> 00:23:17,345 Withdraw your attention from anything that 376 00:23:17,345 --> 00:23:20,348 makes you feel powerless or like a victim, 377 00:23:20,348 --> 00:23:23,726 or like you don't control the circumstances of your life. 378 00:23:23,726 --> 00:23:27,974 Don't watch that news station. Don't watch those movies. 379 00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:29,978 Don't read those books or articles 380 00:23:29,978 --> 00:23:34,306 that make you feel as if the world happens to you, 381 00:23:34,306 --> 00:23:39,327 your life happens to you, and all you can do is cope with it. 382 00:23:39,327 --> 00:23:43,574 Instead, place your attention on any material 383 00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:47,400 that makes you feel empowered, 384 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,864 place your attention on anything that fills you full of the truth 385 00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:56,870 that you can control the reality that you're living in, that it is absolutely 386 00:23:56,870 --> 00:24:01,397 in your hands whether you feel good or feel bad. 387 00:24:01,397 --> 00:24:07,638 This sense of empowerment is the opposite vibration of the feeling of anxiety, 388 00:24:07,638 --> 00:24:11,938 so try out these tips and techniques and see how they work for you. 389 00:24:11,938 --> 00:24:13,891 Have a good week.