WEBVTT

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[NATHALIE DJURBERG]
It is quite brave to put

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anything out there that you did.

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It's hard to differentiate between
yourself and the work.

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Where does the work end and I begin?

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That sounded so cheesy.

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[HANS BERG]
No, but...

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[DJURBERG]
Even though it's true!

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[LAUGHS]

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[Nathalie Djurberg and Hans Berg
Share Their Feelings]

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[I ate you up]

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[I devoured you whole]

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[BERG]
It was a bit sad to make music to this film.

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It feels very vulnerable.

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[I spred you thin]

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[I didn't even leave a crum]

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[DJURBERG]
It didn't feel so personal

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when I was making it.

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Seeing it in the gallery,

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then it felt very personal--

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then it felt like,
"Oh, I'm so sorry."

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[BOTH LAUGH]

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[Shame]

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[DJURBERG]
"Ashamed" is one of my predominant feelings.

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There is usually a sense of shame

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throughout the process of the making.

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It starts out as an idea,

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which feels very, very solid.

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It's not.

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It takes some time for me to

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get to terms with that.

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But then when I come out of the other side,

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the work is not as perfect
as that flimsy idea felt.

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And now I think that I've been
so aware of it

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[LAUGHS]

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that it's losing the grip 
a little bit.

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[Desire]

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[BERG]
In "How to Slay a Demon,"

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I think a lot about addiction

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and wanting something

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and then not getting it.

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I wanted the music to be
almost like the voice of addiction.

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So very hypnotic, alluring--

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almost like a siren song,

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luring you into something.

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[DJURBERG]
The wanting for something more.

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The wanting for something else.

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The joy, thinking,
"Oh, I got it!"

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and then it didn't stay.

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I mean, how many times did the
"I got it" feeling fall apart?

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[BERG]
That connects well to "This Is Heaven."

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He feels like he deserves things.

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I wanted the music to be
"shameless winner" music.

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He's just the winner.

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He just deserves this.

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I wanted this 80s vibe
because it feels like everything is great--

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completely, without any reflection.

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[DJURBERG]
Great until it becomes disgusting.

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That is the only music I feel ashamed when
I hear.

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[BOTH LAUGH]

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[BERG]
Which is perfect!

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[BOTH LAUGH]

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[BERG] He thinks he's going to stay
in this happy state forever.

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[DJURBERG]
Until it becomes too much.

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[BERG]
Until you want more,

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and then it's not heaven anymore.

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[Happiness]

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[Happiness & Despair]

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[BERG] The show is called,
"One Last Trip to The Underworld."

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You don't know if it's one last trip

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and then you're free from whatever it is.

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Or it's one last trip,

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and then you're never
coming out of there again.

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[DJURBERG]
In joy, we feel whole,

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because in the second of the joy,

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there isn't anything else.

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It's just that...

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usually it's so short.

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Then the other feeling that
when you're in a bad state,

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that that will last forever.

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The fear of being trapped in that despair

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is like a lie that is so strong

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that it tricks me every time--

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that not one emotional state has ever lasted.

[Nothing for the ones coming after]

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[I choked]

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[I swollowed]

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Seeing the truth,

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especially maybe a truth about yourself,

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can be painful,

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but that's really important because
it leads to bigger freedom after...

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maybe.