1 00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:23,260 [NATHALIE DJURBERG] It is quite brave to put 2 00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:24,560 anything out there that you did. 3 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:29,580 It's hard to differentiate between yourself and the work. 4 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:32,460 Where does the work end and I begin? 5 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,880 That sounded so cheesy. 6 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:35,780 [HANS BERG] No, but... 7 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,160 [DJURBERG] Even though it's true! 8 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,160 [LAUGHS] 9 00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:43,840 [Nathalie Djurberg and Hans Berg Share Their Feelings] 10 00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:48,980 [I ate you up] 11 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,640 [I devoured you whole] 12 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,680 [BERG] It was a bit sad to make music to this film. 13 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,140 It feels very vulnerable. 14 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:57,980 [I spred you thin] 15 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,520 [I didn't even leave a crum] 16 00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:03,000 [DJURBERG] It didn't feel so personal 17 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,340 when I was making it. 18 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:06,500 Seeing it in the gallery, 19 00:01:06,820 --> 00:01:07,960 then it felt very personal-- 20 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,820 then it felt like, "Oh, I'm so sorry." 21 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:10,640 [BOTH LAUGH] 22 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,260 [Shame] 23 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,780 [DJURBERG] "Ashamed" is one of my predominant feelings. 24 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,420 There is usually a sense of shame 25 00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:36,100 throughout the process of the making. 26 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,420 It starts out as an idea, 27 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:40,680 which feels very, very solid. 28 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,040 It's not. 29 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:45,060 It takes some time for me to 30 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:46,580 get to terms with that. 31 00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,720 But then when I come out of the other side, 32 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:55,500 the work is not as perfect as that flimsy idea felt. 33 00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,440 And now I think that I've been so aware of it 34 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,300 [LAUGHS] 35 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:04,620 that it's losing the grip a little bit. 36 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,300 [Desire] 37 00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:24,280 [BERG] In "How to Slay a Demon," 38 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,680 I think a lot about addiction 39 00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:27,980 and wanting something 40 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,280 and then not getting it. 41 00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:38,760 I wanted the music to be almost like the voice of addiction. 42 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,920 So very hypnotic, alluring-- 43 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,709 almost like a siren song, 44 00:02:41,709 --> 00:02:43,500 luring you into something. 45 00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:45,920 [DJURBERG] The wanting for something more. 46 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,300 The wanting for something else. 47 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,760 The joy, thinking, "Oh, I got it!" 48 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,680 and then it didn't stay. 49 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,440 I mean, how many times did the "I got it" feeling fall apart? 50 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,740 [BERG] That connects well to "This Is Heaven." 51 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,400 He feels like he deserves things. 52 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,260 I wanted the music to be "shameless winner" music. 53 00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:31,260 He's just the winner. 54 00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:32,260 He just deserves this. 55 00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:36,080 I wanted this 80s vibe because it feels like everything is great-- 56 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,440 completely, without any reflection. 57 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,560 [DJURBERG] Great until it becomes disgusting. 58 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,960 That is the only music I feel ashamed when I hear. 59 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:44,640 [BOTH LAUGH] 60 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:45,660 [BERG] Which is perfect! 61 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:46,400 [BOTH LAUGH] 62 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:52,500 [BERG] He thinks he's going to stay in this happy state forever. 63 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,520 [DJURBERG] Until it becomes too much. 64 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:54,920 [BERG] Until you want more, 65 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,740 and then it's not heaven anymore. 66 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,880 [Happiness] 67 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,020 [Happiness & Despair] 68 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,260 [BERG] The show is called, "One Last Trip to The Underworld." 69 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,870 You don't know if it's one last trip 70 00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:16,340 and then you're free from whatever it is. 71 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,180 Or it's one last trip, 72 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:20,780 and then you're never coming out of there again. 73 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,920 [DJURBERG] In joy, we feel whole, 74 00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:35,010 because in the second of the joy, 75 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,510 there isn't anything else. 76 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,420 It's just that... 77 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,680 usually it's so short. 78 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:48,540 Then the other feeling that when you're in a bad state, 79 00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:49,900 that that will last forever. 80 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,840 The fear of being trapped in that despair 81 00:04:58,849 --> 00:05:01,280 is like a lie that is so strong 82 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,040 that it tricks me every time-- 83 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:08,300 that not one emotional state has ever lasted. [Nothing for the ones coming after] 84 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,200 [I choked] 85 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,820 [I swollowed] 86 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,320 Seeing the truth, 87 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,600 especially maybe a truth about yourself, 88 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,169 can be painful, 89 00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:24,980 but that's really important because it leads to bigger freedom after... 90 00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:27,280 maybe.