0:00:21.820,0:00:23.260
[NATHALIE DJURBERG][br]It is quite brave to put

0:00:23.260,0:00:24.560
anything out there that you did.

0:00:25.300,0:00:29.580
It's hard to differentiate between[br]yourself and the work.

0:00:29.580,0:00:32.460
Where does the work end and I begin?

0:00:33.300,0:00:34.880
That sounded so cheesy.

0:00:35.200,0:00:35.780
[HANS BERG][br]No, but...

0:00:35.840,0:00:37.160
[DJURBERG][br]Even though it's true!

0:00:37.160,0:00:38.160
[LAUGHS]

0:00:39.180,0:00:43.840
[Nathalie Djurberg and Hans Berg[br]Share Their Feelings]

0:00:47.860,0:00:48.980
[I ate you up]

0:00:50.520,0:00:51.640
[I devoured you whole]

0:00:52.980,0:00:55.680
[BERG][br]It was a bit sad to make music to this film.

0:00:56.140,0:00:57.140
It feels very vulnerable.

0:00:57.140,0:00:57.980
[I spred you thin]

0:00:58.680,0:01:00.520
[I didn't even leave a crum]

0:01:01.460,0:01:03.000
[DJURBERG][br]It didn't feel so personal

0:01:03.000,0:01:04.340
when I was making it.

0:01:05.020,0:01:06.500
Seeing it in the gallery,

0:01:06.820,0:01:07.960
then it felt very personal--

0:01:07.960,0:01:09.820
then it felt like,[br]"Oh, I'm so sorry."

0:01:09.820,0:01:10.640
[BOTH LAUGH]

0:01:10.680,0:01:13.260
[Shame]

0:01:23.840,0:01:26.780
[DJURBERG][br]"Ashamed" is one of my predominant feelings.

0:01:30.400,0:01:33.420
There is usually a sense of shame

0:01:33.420,0:01:36.100
throughout the process of the making.

0:01:36.680,0:01:38.420
It starts out as an idea,

0:01:38.420,0:01:40.680
which feels very, very solid.

0:01:41.260,0:01:42.040
It's not.

0:01:42.660,0:01:45.060
It takes some time for me to

0:01:45.060,0:01:46.580
get to terms with that.

0:01:47.420,0:01:49.720
But then when I come out of the other side,

0:01:49.720,0:01:55.500
the work is not as perfect[br]as that flimsy idea felt.

0:01:57.100,0:02:00.440
And now I think that I've been[br]so aware of it

0:02:00.440,0:02:01.300
[LAUGHS]

0:02:01.300,0:02:04.620
that it's losing the grip [br]a little bit.

0:02:08.560,0:02:11.300
[Desire]

0:02:22.580,0:02:24.280
[BERG][br]In "How to Slay a Demon,"

0:02:24.280,0:02:26.680
I think a lot about addiction

0:02:26.690,0:02:27.980
and wanting something

0:02:27.980,0:02:29.280
and then not getting it.

0:02:35.140,0:02:38.760
I wanted the music to be[br]almost like the voice of addiction.

0:02:38.760,0:02:39.920
So very hypnotic, alluring--

0:02:39.920,0:02:41.709
almost like a siren song,

0:02:41.709,0:02:43.500
luring you into something.

0:02:44.420,0:02:45.920
[DJURBERG][br]The wanting for something more.

0:02:45.920,0:02:47.300
The wanting for something else.

0:02:47.720,0:02:50.760
The joy, thinking,[br]"Oh, I got it!"

0:02:50.760,0:02:53.680
and then it didn't stay.

0:02:53.680,0:02:57.440
I mean, how many times did the[br]"I got it" feeling fall apart?

0:03:05.760,0:03:07.740
[BERG][br]That connects well to "This Is Heaven."

0:03:17.560,0:03:20.400
He feels like he deserves things.

0:03:26.600,0:03:30.260
I wanted the music to be[br]"shameless winner" music.

0:03:30.260,0:03:31.260
He's just the winner.

0:03:31.260,0:03:32.260
He just deserves this.

0:03:32.860,0:03:36.080
I wanted this 80s vibe[br]because it feels like everything is great--

0:03:36.080,0:03:37.440
completely, without any reflection.

0:03:37.440,0:03:39.560
[DJURBERG][br]Great until it becomes disgusting.

0:03:40.800,0:03:43.960
That is the only music I feel ashamed when[br]I hear.

0:03:43.960,0:03:44.640
[BOTH LAUGH]

0:03:44.640,0:03:45.660
[BERG][br]Which is perfect!

0:03:45.660,0:03:46.400
[BOTH LAUGH]

0:03:49.100,0:03:52.500
[BERG] He thinks he's going to stay[br]in this happy state forever.

0:03:52.500,0:03:53.520
[DJURBERG][br]Until it becomes too much.

0:03:53.520,0:03:54.920
[BERG][br]Until you want more,

0:03:54.920,0:03:56.740
and then it's not heaven anymore.

0:03:59.840,0:04:01.880
[Happiness]

0:04:01.880,0:04:04.020
[Happiness & Despair]

0:04:08.540,0:04:11.260
[BERG] The show is called,[br]"One Last Trip to The Underworld."

0:04:12.100,0:04:13.870
You don't know if it's one last trip

0:04:13.870,0:04:16.340
and then you're free from whatever it is.

0:04:17.040,0:04:18.180
Or it's one last trip,

0:04:18.180,0:04:20.780
and then you're never[br]coming out of there again.

0:04:29.320,0:04:31.920
[DJURBERG][br]In joy, we feel whole,

0:04:31.930,0:04:35.010
because in the second of the joy,

0:04:35.010,0:04:37.510
there isn't anything else.

0:04:37.510,0:04:38.420
It's just that...

0:04:39.100,0:04:40.680
usually it's so short.

0:04:44.340,0:04:48.540
Then the other feeling that[br]when you're in a bad state,

0:04:48.540,0:04:49.900
that that will last forever.

0:04:55.000,0:04:58.840
The fear of being trapped in that despair

0:04:58.849,0:05:01.280
is like a lie that is so strong

0:05:01.280,0:05:04.040
that it tricks me every time--

0:05:05.140,0:05:08.300
that not one emotional state has ever lasted.[br][br][Nothing for the ones coming after]

0:05:09.300,0:05:11.200
[I choked]

0:05:11.920,0:05:13.820
[I swollowed]

0:05:15.800,0:05:17.320
Seeing the truth,

0:05:17.320,0:05:19.600
especially maybe a truth about yourself,

0:05:19.600,0:05:21.169
can be painful,

0:05:21.169,0:05:24.980
but that's really important because[br]it leads to bigger freedom after...

0:05:26.580,0:05:27.280
maybe.