[NATHALIE DJURBERG] It is quite brave to put
anything out there that you did.
It's hard to differentiate between yourself and the work.
Where does the work end and I begin?
That sounded so cheesy.
[HANS BERG] No, but...
[DJURBERG] Even though it's true!
[LAUGHS]
[Nathalie Djurberg and Hans Berg Share Their Feelings]
[I ate you up]
[I devoured you whole]
[BERG] It was a bit sad to make music to this film.
It feels very vulnerable.
[I spred you thin]
[I didn't even leave a crum]
[DJURBERG] It didn't feel so personal
when I was making it.
Seeing it in the gallery,
then it felt very personal--
then it felt like, "Oh, I'm so sorry."
[BOTH LAUGH]
[Shame]
[DJURBERG] "Ashamed" is one of my predominant feelings.
There is usually a sense of shame
throughout the process of the making.
It starts out as an idea,
which feels very, very solid.
It's not.
It takes some time for me to
get to terms with that.
But then when I come out of the other side,
the work is not as perfect as that flimsy idea felt.
And now I think that I've been so aware of it
[LAUGHS]
that it's losing the grip a little bit.
[Desire]
[BERG] In "How to Slay a Demon,"
I think a lot about addiction
and wanting something
and then not getting it.
I wanted the music to be almost like the voice of addiction.
So very hypnotic, alluring--
almost like a siren song,
luring you into something.
[DJURBERG] The wanting for something more.
The wanting for something else.
The joy, thinking, "Oh, I got it!"
and then it didn't stay.
I mean, how many times did the "I got it" feeling fall apart?
[BERG] That connects well to "This Is Heaven."
He feels like he deserves things.
I wanted the music to be "shameless winner" music.
He's just the winner.
He just deserves this.
I wanted this 80s vibe because it feels like everything is great--
completely, without any reflection.
[DJURBERG] Great until it becomes disgusting.
That is the only music I feel ashamed when I hear.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[BERG] Which is perfect!
[BOTH LAUGH]
[BERG] He thinks he's going to stay in this happy state forever.
[DJURBERG] Until it becomes too much.
[BERG] Until you want more,
and then it's not heaven anymore.
[Happiness]
[Happiness & Despair]
[BERG] The show is called, "One Last Trip to The Underworld."
You don't know if it's one last trip
and then you're free from whatever it is.
Or it's one last trip,
and then you're never coming out of there again.
[DJURBERG] In joy, we feel whole,
because in the second of the joy,
there isn't anything else.
It's just that...
usually it's so short.
Then the other feeling that when you're in a bad state,
that that will last forever.
The fear of being trapped in that despair
is like a lie that is so strong
that it tricks me every time--
that not one emotional state has ever lasted. [Nothing for the ones coming after]
[I choked]
[I swollowed]
Seeing the truth,
especially maybe a truth about yourself,
can be painful,
but that's really important because it leads to bigger freedom after...
maybe.