WEBVTT

00:00:12.291 --> 00:00:14.150
I'm coming off the Acropolis

00:00:14.150 --> 00:00:15.695
to start some pandemonium

00:00:15.695 --> 00:00:17.158
don't bring limp raps

00:00:17.158 --> 00:00:19.005
to a pimp slap symposium

00:00:19.005 --> 00:00:20.236
the mad gadfly

00:00:20.236 --> 00:00:21.909
philosophy was my invention

00:00:21.909 --> 00:00:23.763
rolling with the flyest nihilist

00:00:23.763 --> 00:00:25.273
and me their French henchman

00:00:25.273 --> 00:00:25.974
we've got the wisdom

00:00:25.974 --> 00:00:26.678
and the wit

00:00:26.678 --> 00:00:28.376
that even I couldn't question

00:00:28.376 --> 00:00:29.974
dropping Western medicine

00:00:29.974 --> 00:00:31.731
on these East infections

00:00:31.731 --> 00:00:32.594
it's evident

00:00:32.594 --> 00:00:33.359
you've never been

00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:35.018
our type of mental brethren

00:00:35.018 --> 00:00:35.978
we're better thinkers

00:00:35.978 --> 00:00:36.858
better speakers

00:00:36.858 --> 00:00:37.686
better lovers

00:00:37.686 --> 00:00:38.635
better men

00:00:38.635 --> 00:00:39.895
This type of arrogance

00:00:39.895 --> 00:00:41.119
is sure to be expected

00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:42.721
from men who speak of wisdom

00:00:42.721 --> 00:00:44.478
with no clue of what respect is

00:00:44.478 --> 00:00:46.197
you Westerners are sloppy

00:00:46.197 --> 00:00:47.602
needing discipline in life

00:00:47.602 --> 00:00:49.604
you lack control of yourselves

00:00:49.604 --> 00:00:50.823
and of the mic

00:00:50.823 --> 00:00:52.599
while we use precise strikes

00:00:52.599 --> 00:00:54.115
to disrupt your concentration

00:00:54.115 --> 00:00:55.079
hand you an ass whipping

00:00:55.079 --> 00:00:55.875
our descendants

00:00:55.875 --> 00:00:57.085
will honor for generations

00:00:57.085 --> 00:00:58.087
we filled a nation

00:00:58.087 --> 00:00:58.834
with patience

00:00:58.834 --> 00:00:59.600
and the presence

00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:00.388
for living

00:01:00.388 --> 00:01:01.892
and you'll never hold a candle

00:01:01.892 --> 00:01:02.795
to the wisdom

00:01:02.795 --> 00:01:03.233
we've

00:01:03.233 --> 00:01:04.085
written

00:01:04.085 --> 00:01:05.155
Oh, I'll give you something

00:01:05.155 --> 00:01:06.977
you can bow and kowtow to

00:01:06.977 --> 00:01:08.592
when I squat down and squeeze out

00:01:08.592 --> 00:01:10.250
a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu

00:01:10.250 --> 00:01:11.531
you need to take control

00:01:11.531 --> 00:01:13.025
of the life you're given

00:01:13.025 --> 00:01:14.730
they call me Ubermensch

00:01:14.730 --> 00:01:16.314
cause I'm so driven

00:01:16.314 --> 00:01:17.220
and I'm a free thinker

00:01:17.220 --> 00:01:18.712
so confronting conformists like you

00:01:18.712 --> 00:01:19.657
it's my job

00:01:19.657 --> 00:01:20.589
got a sharp wit like a spit

00:01:20.589 --> 00:01:21.267
that'll skewer you

00:01:21.267 --> 00:01:23.016
like a Confu-shish kebab

00:01:23.016 --> 00:01:23.901
you flubbed the mission

00:01:23.901 --> 00:01:24.957
I'm beating your submissive ass

00:01:24.957 --> 00:01:25.998
into submission

00:01:25.998 --> 00:01:26.987
dishing out more disses

00:01:26.987 --> 00:01:28.142
than letters and pamphlets and plays

00:01:28.142 --> 00:01:29.162
I've been publishing

00:01:29.162 --> 00:01:30.176
now that we've covered the two

00:01:30.176 --> 00:01:30.849
Yin and Yang twins

00:01:30.849 --> 00:01:32.284
I can move on to Jackie Chan

00:01:32.284 --> 00:01:34.014
Sun Tzu I'll be picking apart your Wu

00:01:34.014 --> 00:01:35.477
with my method, man

00:01:35.477 --> 00:01:36.300
the seminal general

00:01:36.300 --> 00:01:37.270
isn't so tough on the mic

00:01:37.270 --> 00:01:38.164
all your men must be like

00:01:38.164 --> 00:01:38.716
yo what happened?

00:01:38.716 --> 00:01:39.581
you're pitiful lyrically

00:01:39.581 --> 00:01:40.320
lucky for history

00:01:40.320 --> 00:01:42.061
you didn't author The Art of Rapping

00:01:42.061 --> 00:01:43.594
Bitch I wrote the Art of War

00:01:43.594 --> 00:01:45.453
so you better get your guns out

00:01:45.453 --> 00:01:46.797
these white boys getting burned

00:01:46.797 --> 00:01:47.710
cause guess what

00:01:47.710 --> 00:01:48.850
now the Sun's out

00:01:48.850 --> 00:01:50.080
Asians spitting sick

00:01:50.080 --> 00:01:51.639
but no this isn't SARS

00:01:51.639 --> 00:01:53.277
Laozi kick the beat

00:01:53.277 --> 00:01:54.959
now Confucius drop some bars

00:01:54.959 --> 00:01:56.941
let me be Candide with you Voltaire

00:01:56.941 --> 00:01:58.476
French drip with the egg noodle hair

00:01:58.476 --> 00:02:00.046
your ego's just so distracting

00:02:00.046 --> 00:02:01.588
free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping

00:02:01.588 --> 00:02:02.857
and you killed God so I gotta ask

00:02:02.857 --> 00:02:03.678
did he die of shame

00:02:03.678 --> 00:02:04.909
when he made your mustache?

00:02:04.909 --> 00:02:06.168
you tried to plant a new German psyche

00:02:06.168 --> 00:02:06.991
but you just grew hate

00:02:06.991 --> 00:02:07.862
me no Third Reichy

00:02:07.862 --> 00:02:09.157
and it all starts with you

00:02:09.157 --> 00:02:10.846
you're the father Socrates

00:02:10.846 --> 00:02:12.216
honestly I think you owe

00:02:12.216 --> 00:02:14.201
both of your students here an apology

00:02:14.201 --> 00:02:15.789
I wouldn't exactly call myself

00:02:15.789 --> 00:02:17.182
a student of this plebe

00:02:17.182 --> 00:02:18.503
don't make Nietzsche come over

00:02:18.503 --> 00:02:20.233
and put a knee up in your chi

00:02:20.233 --> 00:02:20.835
cause I'm

00:02:20.835 --> 00:02:23.424
N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E

00:02:23.424 --> 00:02:25.208
and I'll end any mother fucker

00:02:25.208 --> 00:02:27.136
like my name in a spelling bee

00:02:27.136 --> 00:02:27.844
plebe bitch?

00:02:27.844 --> 00:02:29.955
I'm toxic like a hemlock sip

00:02:29.955 --> 00:02:31.391
hang a sandal on the door

00:02:31.391 --> 00:02:33.164
cause you can suck Soc's dick

00:02:33.164 --> 00:02:34.751
sacré bleu Socrates

00:02:34.751 --> 00:02:36.411
you're making things a little tense

00:02:36.411 --> 00:02:38.061
come let's blind these Chinese heinies

00:02:38.061 --> 00:02:39.737
with some shiny bright enlightenment

00:02:39.737 --> 00:02:41.232
I'll not be taught camaraderie

00:02:41.232 --> 00:02:42.646
from a frog who rigged the lottery

00:02:42.646 --> 00:02:44.145
you make a mockery of ethics

00:02:44.145 --> 00:02:46.046
so keep your fat nose in your coffee

00:02:46.046 --> 00:02:47.215
let me be frank

00:02:47.215 --> 00:02:49.120
don't start beef with the Frank

00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:50.775
who hangs with B. Franks

00:02:50.775 --> 00:02:52.412
giving ladies beef franks

00:02:52.412 --> 00:02:53.939
I have turned them on themselves

00:02:53.939 --> 00:02:55.746
their chaos is our opportunity

00:02:55.746 --> 00:02:56.746
we must remember

00:02:56.746 --> 00:02:59.641
a bowl is most useful when it is empty

00:02:59.641 --> 00:03:01.998
Laozi I don't mean no disrespect

00:03:01.998 --> 00:03:03.499
but you need to fill your bowl

00:03:03.499 --> 00:03:05.194
with some shit that makes some sense

00:03:05.194 --> 00:03:06.531
oh you don't wanna stand

00:03:06.531 --> 00:03:08.163
in the path of Lao Tzu today

00:03:08.163 --> 00:03:10.427
I'll make you move bitch

00:03:10.427 --> 00:03:11.618
get out the way

00:03:11.618 --> 00:03:13.302
yo, where in the tradition

00:03:13.302 --> 00:03:14.848
of rap battles is it written

00:03:14.848 --> 00:03:16.210
that two dudes on the same team

00:03:16.210 --> 00:03:16.869
should squabble

00:03:16.869 --> 00:03:18.030
like some clucking chickens

00:03:18.030 --> 00:03:19.054
man Confucius

00:03:19.054 --> 00:03:20.080
you always try to put

00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:21.171
something in its place

00:03:21.171 --> 00:03:22.705
why don't you tell your eyebrows

00:03:22.705 --> 00:03:24.397
they need to fit better on your face

00:03:24.397 --> 00:03:25.840
okay I see

00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:27.468
you wanna make it like that?

00:03:27.468 --> 00:03:28.957
I'll smack that warmongering head

00:03:28.957 --> 00:03:30.630
out of your to go box hat

00:03:30.630 --> 00:03:32.249
so here's the real golden rule

00:03:32.249 --> 00:03:34.272
I'm way above you weak rookies

00:03:34.272 --> 00:03:35.275
Confucius say

00:03:35.275 --> 00:03:37.708
you can all hold these fortune cookies

00:03:37.708 --> 00:03:39.858
What is winning?

00:03:39.858 --> 00:03:42.472
Who is next?

00:03:42.472 --> 00:03:44.503
You decide