WEBVTT

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I'm coming off the Acropolis

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to start some pandemonium

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don't bring limp raps

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to a pimp slap symposium

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the mad gadfly

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philosophy was my invention

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rolling with the flyest nihilist

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and me their French henchman

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we've got the wisdom

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and the wit

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that even I couldn't question

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dropping Western medicine

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on these East infections

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it's evident

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you've never been

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our type of mental brethren

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we're better thinkers

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better speakers

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better lovers

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better men

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This type of arrogance

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is sure to be expected

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from men who speak of wisdom

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with no clue of what respect is

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you Westerners are sloppy

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needing discipline in life

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you lack control of yourselves

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and of the mic

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while we use precise strikes

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to disrupt your concentration

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hand you an ass whipping

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our descendants

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will honor for generations

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we filled a nation

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with patience

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and the presence

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for living

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and you'll never hold a candle

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to the wisdom

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we've

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written

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Oh, I'll give you something

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you can bow and kowtow to

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when I squat down and squeeze out

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a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu

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you need to take control

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of the life you're given

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they call me Ubermensch

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cause I'm so driven

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and I'm a free thinker

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so confronting conformists like you

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it's my job

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got a sharp wit like a spit

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that'll skewer you

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like a Confu-shish kebab

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you flubbed the mission

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I'm beating your submissive ass

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into submission

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dishing out more disses

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than letters and pamphlets and plays

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I've been publishing

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now that we've covered the two

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Yin and Yang twins

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I can move on to Jackie Chan

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Sun Tzu I'll be picking apart your Wu

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with my method, man

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the seminal general

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isn't so tough on the mic

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all your men must be like

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yo what happened?

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you're pitiful lyrically

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lucky for history

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you didn't author The Art of Rapping

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Bitch I wrote the Art of War

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so you better get your guns out

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these white boys getting burned

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cause guess what

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now the Sun's out

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Asians spitting sick

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but no this isn't SARS

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Laozi kick the beat

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now Confucius drop some bars

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let me be Candide with you Voltaire

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French drip with the egg noodle hair

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your ego's just so distracting

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free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping

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and you killed God so I gotta ask

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did he die of shame

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when he made your mustache?

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you tried to plant a new German psyche

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but you just grew hate

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me no Third Reichy

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and it all starts with you

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you're the father Socrates

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honestly I think you owe

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both of your students here an apology

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I wouldn't exactly call myself

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a student of this plebe

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don't make Nietzsche come over

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and put a knee up in your chi

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cause I'm

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N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E

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and I'll end any mother fucker

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like my name in a spelling bee

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plebe bitch?

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I'm toxic like a hemlock sip

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hang a sandal on the door

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cause you can suck Soc's dick

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sacré bleu Socrates

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you're making things a little tense

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come let's blind these Chinese heinies

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with some shiny bright enlightenment

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I'll not be taught camaraderie

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from a frog who rigged the lottery

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you make a mockery of ethics

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so keep your fat nose in your coffee

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let me be frank

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don't start beef with the Frank

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who hangs with B. Franks

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giving ladies beef franks

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I have turned them on themselves

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their chaos is our opportunity

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we must remember

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a bowl is most useful when it is empty

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Laozi I don't mean no disrespect

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but you need to fill your bowl

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with some shit that makes some sense

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oh you don't wanna stand

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in the path of Lao Tzu today

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I'll make you move bitch

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get out the way

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yo, where in the tradition

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of rap battles is it written

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that two dudes on the same team

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should squabble

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like some clucking chickens

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man Confucius

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you always try to put

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something in its place

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why don't you tell your eyebrows

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they need to fit better on your face

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okay I see

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you wanna make it like that?

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I'll smack that warmongering head

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out of your to go box hat

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so here's the real golden rule

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I'm way above you weak rookies

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Confucius say

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you can all hold these fortune cookies

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What is winning?

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Who is next?

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You decide