0:00:12.291,0:00:14.150
I'm coming off the Acropolis

0:00:14.150,0:00:15.695
to start some pandemonium

0:00:15.695,0:00:17.158
don't bring limp raps

0:00:17.158,0:00:19.005
to a pimp slap symposium

0:00:19.005,0:00:20.236
the mad gadfly

0:00:20.236,0:00:21.909
philosophy was my invention

0:00:21.909,0:00:23.763
rolling with the flyest nihilist

0:00:23.763,0:00:25.273
and me, their French henchman

0:00:25.273,0:00:25.974
we've got the wisdom

0:00:25.974,0:00:26.678
that even I couldn't question

0:00:26.678,0:00:28.376
dropping Western medicine

0:00:28.376,0:00:29.974
on these East infections!

0:00:29.974,0:00:31.731
It's evident,

0:00:31.731,0:00:32.594
you've never been

0:00:32.594,0:00:33.359
our type of mental brethren

0:00:33.359,0:00:35.018
we're better thinkers,

0:00:35.018,0:00:35.978
better speakers,

0:00:35.978,0:00:36.858
better lovers,

0:00:36.858,0:00:37.686
better men!

0:00:37.686,0:00:38.635
This type of arrogance

0:00:39.895,0:00:41.119
is sure to be expected

0:00:41.119,0:00:42.721
from men who speak of wisdom

0:00:42.721,0:00:44.478
with no clue of what respect is

0:00:44.478,0:00:46.197
you Westerners are sloppy

0:00:46.197,0:00:47.602
needing discipline in life

0:00:47.602,0:00:49.604
you lack control of yourselves

0:00:49.604,0:00:50.823
and of the mic

0:00:50.823,0:00:52.599
while we use precise strikes

0:00:52.599,0:00:54.115
to disrupt your concentration

0:00:54.115,0:00:55.079
hand you an ass whipping

0:00:55.079,0:00:55.875
our descendants

0:00:55.875,0:00:57.085
will honour for generations

0:00:57.085,0:00:58.087
we filled a nation

0:00:58.087,0:00:58.834
with patience

0:00:58.834,0:00:59.600
and the prescence

0:00:59.600,0:01:00.388
for living

0:01:00.388,0:01:01.892
and you'll never hold a candle

0:01:01.892,0:01:02.795
to the wisdom

0:01:02.795,0:01:03.233
we've

0:01:03.233,0:01:04.085
written!

0:01:04.085,0:01:05.155
Oh, I'll give you something

0:01:05.155,0:01:06.977
you can bow and kowtow to

0:01:06.977,0:01:08.592
when I squat down and squeeze out

0:01:08.592,0:01:10.250
a Tao of Pooh and Lao Tzu

0:01:10.250,0:01:11.531
you need to take control

0:01:11.531,0:01:13.025
of the life you're given

0:01:13.025,0:01:14.730
call me Übermensch

0:01:14.730,0:01:16.314
'cause I'm so driven!

0:01:16.314,0:01:17.220
And I'm a free thinker,

0:01:17.220,0:01:18.712
so, confronting conformists like you,

0:01:18.712,0:01:19.657
it's my job

0:01:19.657,0:01:20.589
got a sharp whip, like a spit

0:01:20.589,0:01:21.267
that'll skewer you

0:01:21.267,0:01:23.016
like a Confu-shish kebab

0:01:23.016,0:01:23.901
oh, you flubbed the mission

0:01:23.901,0:01:24.957
I'm beating your submissive ass

0:01:24.957,0:01:25.998
into submission

0:01:25.998,0:01:26.987
dishing out more disses

0:01:26.987,0:01:28.142
than letters and pamphlets and plays

0:01:28.142,0:01:29.162
I’ve been publishing!

0:01:29.162,0:01:30.176
Now that we've covered the two

0:01:30.176,0:01:30.849
Yin and Yang twins,

0:01:30.849,0:01:32.284
I can move on to Jackie Chan

0:01:32.284,0:01:34.014
Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu

0:01:34.014,0:01:35.477
with my method, man

0:01:35.477,0:01:36.300
the seminal general

0:01:36.300,0:01:37.270
isn't so tough on the mic

0:01:37.270,0:01:38.164
all your men must be like

0:01:38.164,0:01:38.716
"Yo, what happened?"

0:01:38.716,0:01:39.581
you're pitiful lyrically

0:01:39.581,0:01:40.320
lucky for history

0:01:40.320,0:01:42.061
you didn't author the Art of Rapping!

0:01:42.061,0:01:43.594
Bitch, I wrote the Art of War,

0:01:43.594,0:01:45.453
so you better get your guns out

0:01:45.453,0:01:46.797
these white boys getting burned

0:01:46.797,0:01:47.710
'cause, guess what?

0:01:47.710,0:01:48.850
Now the Sun's out

0:01:48.850,0:01:50.080
Asians spitting sick,

0:01:50.080,0:01:51.639
but no, this isn't SARS,

0:01:51.639,0:01:53.277
Laozi, kick the beat,

0:01:53.277,0:01:54.959
now, Confucius, drop some bars!

0:01:54.959,0:01:56.941
Let me be Candide with you Voltaire,

0:01:56.941,0:01:58.476
French dip with the egg noodle hair,

0:01:58.476,0:02:00.046
your ego's just distracting

0:02:00.046,0:02:01.588
free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping

0:02:01.588,0:02:02.857
and you killed God so I gotta ask,

0:02:02.857,0:02:03.678
did he die of shame

0:02:03.678,0:02:04.909
when he made your moustache?

0:02:04.909,0:02:06.168
You tried to plant a new German psyche

0:02:06.168,0:02:06.991
but you just grew hate,

0:02:06.991,0:02:07.862
me no Third Reichy!

0:02:07.862,0:02:09.157
And it all starts with you,

0:02:09.157,0:02:10.846
you're the father, Socrates,

0:02:10.846,0:02:12.216
honestly, I think you owe

0:02:12.216,0:02:14.201
both of your students here an apology.

0:02:14.201,0:02:15.789
I wouldn't exactly call myself

0:02:15.789,0:02:17.182
a student of this plebe,

0:02:17.182,0:02:18.503
don't make Nietzsche come over

0:02:18.503,0:02:20.233
and put a knee up in your chi!

0:02:20.233,0:02:20.835
'Cause I'm

0:02:20.835,0:02:23.424
N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E

0:02:23.424,0:02:25.208
and I'll end any motherfucker

0:02:25.208,0:02:27.136
like my name in a spelling bee!

0:02:27.136,0:02:27.844
Plebe, bitch?

0:02:27.844,0:02:29.955
I'm toxic like a hemlock sip!

0:02:29.955,0:02:31.391
Hang a sandal on the door,

0:02:31.391,0:02:33.164
'Cause you can suck Soc's dick!

0:02:33.164,0:02:34.751
Sacré bleu, Socrates!

0:02:34.751,0:02:36.411
You're making things a little tense,

0:02:36.411,0:02:38.061
come, let's blind these Chinese heinies

0:02:38.061,0:02:39.737
with some shiny bright enlightenment!

0:02:39.737,0:02:41.232
I'll not be taught camaraderie

0:02:41.232,0:02:42.646
from a frog who rigged the lottery!

0:02:42.646,0:02:44.145
You make a mockery of ethics

0:02:44.145,0:02:46.046
so keep your fat nose in your coffee!

0:02:46.046,0:02:47.215
Let me be frank,

0:02:47.215,0:02:49.120
don't start beef with the Frank,

0:02:49.120,0:02:50.775
who hangs with B. Franks,

0:02:50.775,0:02:52.412
giving ladies beef franks!

0:02:52.412,0:02:53.939
I have turned them on themselves,

0:02:53.939,0:02:55.746
their chaos is our opportunity!

0:02:55.746,0:02:56.746
We must remember,

0:02:56.746,0:02:59.641
a bowl is most useful when it is empty.

0:02:59.641,0:03:01.998
Argh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect,

0:03:01.998,0:03:03.499
but you need to fill your bowl

0:03:03.499,0:03:05.194
with some shit that makes some sense!

0:03:05.194,0:03:06.531
Oh, you don't wanna stand

0:03:06.531,0:03:08.163
in the path of Lao Tzu today,

0:03:08.163,0:03:10.427
I'll make you move, bitch,

0:03:10.427,0:03:11.618
get out the way!

0:03:11.618,0:03:13.302
Yo, where in the tradition

0:03:13.302,0:03:14.848
of rap battles is it written

0:03:14.848,0:03:16.210
that two dudes on the same team

0:03:16.210,0:03:16.869
should squabble

0:03:16.869,0:03:18.030
like some clucking chickens?

0:03:18.030,0:03:19.054
Man, Confucius,

0:03:19.054,0:03:20.080
you always try to put

0:03:20.080,0:03:21.171
something in its place

0:03:21.171,0:03:22.705
why don't you tell your eyebrows

0:03:22.705,0:03:24.397
they need to fit better on your face!

0:03:24.397,0:03:25.840
Okay, I see,

0:03:25.840,0:03:27.468
you wanna make it like that?

0:03:27.468,0:03:28.957
I'll smack that warmongering head

0:03:28.957,0:03:30.630
out of your to-go box hat

0:03:30.630,0:03:32.249
so here's the real golden rule,

0:03:32.249,0:03:34.272
I'm way above you weak rookies

0:03:34.272,0:03:35.275
Confucius say:

0:03:35.275,0:03:37.708
"You can all hold these fortune cookies!"

0:03:37.708,0:03:39.858
What is winning?

0:03:39.858,0:03:42.472
Who is next?

0:03:42.472,0:03:44.503
You decide!