[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.55,0:00:03.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My Führer, we have got some very, very bad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.71,0:00:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't know where we are, this map is useless and what is worse - we haven't got any other device that could find our location.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.41,0:00:23.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I gave you my Galaxy Note and I begged you to install correctly a cracked Google Maps just in case.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.23,0:00:28.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My Führer... But... Um...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.39,0:00:50.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We destroyed your phone because we hate Android phones... Just... Google Maps sucks, Apple and its maps rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.61,0:01:09.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyone here that didn't destroy my phone, leave the room.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.19,0:01:15.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How dare you talk to me like that?! I lost my lovely Samsung! Now you are screwed!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.10,0:01:20.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was our last hope to find Rossmann! How could you destroy my Samsung? This is unbelievable!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.44,0:01:27.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what's the most surprising news - you prefer Apple iPhone 5! This $hit?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.70,0:01:32.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the defeat of the century! Small screen, lots of bugs...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.66,0:01:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...problems with broken lock button, camera has got an "Purple Halo" issue...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.00,0:01:38.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My Führer, but iPhone 5 has an additional row of icons.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.36,0:01:41.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shut up! And this maps! How can we find Rossmann with this horrible iOS maps, huh?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.59,0:01:44.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My Führer, please give us a chance!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.04,0:01:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,NO! Without Google Maps we can't do ANYTHING!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.76,0:01:54.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please tell me, how do we deal with this bugged map?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.47,0:01:58.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We won't be able to find this damn shop! NEVER!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.28,0:02:01.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what also drives me crazy in Apple is this nonsensical battle with Samsung!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.95,0:02:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apple just want to patent a rectangle with rounded corners. And what else? Black color of the phone?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.04,0:02:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think so that even the most stupid person can mistake iPhone with one of the Galaxy phone, goddammit!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.06,0:02:28.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh My God, I'm so angry that I don't know what else I can say!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.25,0:02:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I need my hair conditioner immediately! This is the most important thing for me! As same as new phone!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.54,0:02:46.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm disappointed! Very, very disappointed!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.57,0:02:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You used to be my best friends and now? I don't wanna see you anymore! There will be blood, I promise.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.35,0:03:06.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't worry. We will try to fix it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.77,0:03:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't handle this... That was a gift to me from me!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.00,0:03:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know what I will do... I will buy those things...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.02,0:03:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...from your pay.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.46,0:03:33.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don't wanna hear any opposition from you, morons.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.99,0:03:44.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.27,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now get out of my sight!