Halt! Halt! Halt! MARMOULAK (THE LIZARD) Come in Come on Hi, there! Hello, Mr. Reza Mesghali At your service Your record is really a mess That's life! It seems we have to spend a lot of time together The rest of your life to be exact Excuse me, Mr. Mojavez but I am not staying here long, they've made a mistake Really! I've got me a lawyer, I've appealed You have asked for an appeal, of course! Whatever... you know, sir I ain't into armed robbery and all that! No stealin' and no drinkin' in the holy months I've never even held a blowgun in my life - I've been framed - Are you finished? I don't know you, do I? I refer to the case in from of me which says you're a disturbed person It tells me you've been imprisoned several times for different crimes but you have never reformed It tells me that you are a danger to society - Yeah, but... - Don't interrupt me, son! I stated the facts - But I think you're a good person - Cool, man! Everyone is good Even an armed robber like you Don't interrupt me! Do you know why people go on diet? Well, to get thinner To get thinner and for their health I believe we have to go on a diet for our spiritual health So this is not a prison, and I am not the prison warden - It's a spiritual clinic - Wow! And you are patients who come here to gain your spiritual health through my diet I will send you to heaven even if I have to use force - What was so funny about that? - Nothing the part about how you wanna send us to heaven was a little cute! Yes, it sounds strange, but it can be done Provided that you follow the spiritual diet I prescribe Although it is not so easy Soldier! Take our friend to the solitary confinement! Why to the solitary? First, so you do not interrupt me again Second, so you do not laugh at my words And third, because solitary is good for people like you You will thank me later Take him away Mr. Mesghali! Welcome to your new home Get going! - How long you're in for, colonel? - Take your hand off! Keeps asking questions! Hi, there Are you done? Come on Get out... Get going Oh, the poor thing is stuck! Hey, can't you get it loose? I tried, but my shirt got torn, look Then shoot it and put it out of its misery I've gotta answer for my bullets Otherwise I'd shoot ten crows a day If you don't shoot it, I'll come up and set it free Come up? How? - The wall - This wall? How? - I'll grab it and climb up - Bullshit! - I'll bet you - I'll take the bet - How much do you bet? - Tonight's dinner - Okay - Okay Making bets? Hello! I am willing to make a bet Betting in itself isn't wrong so long as it doesn't turn into gambling So you say you can climb this wall without a ladder? Well, yeah So we will make a bet in from of these friends If you climb this wall, you won't do any chores for a whole week and if you don't, you'll spend another week in solitary, how's that? You can't! it's impossible I'm in - Go on and show what you can do - He's lyin' With your permission Go! Go! Right on, man! Come on up! He climbs like Spiderman Hey bro, don't take it too far when we smile at you for five minutes Get down now Well done Thanks man You won the bet and did a good deed Take him to the solitary Solitary? Are you kiddin'? No, you are going to the solitary to quit the bad habit of climbing especially climbing prison walls You coward! No, I'm not going back on my word You can rest for a whole week, but in the solitary Don't make any noise Your appeal was rejected You're going to be our guest for a long time, get inside I said get inside I fell in love with my wife the first time I saw her But when I stopped lovin' her, she stopped breathin' Now I like you For now! You're an important guy Don't worry about the bunks You take the bottom one And I'll take the top, I'm so tired Not from there, can't you see I've cleaned it! From here I changed my mind, I'll take the bottom bunk, you take the top one That side is still clean You seem angry with me! You guys don't understand I only want to cure you Believe me it's a difficult task Do you know how? How what? To pray? Well yeah, but I've forgotten Everyone's forgotten Ain't nothing to it, just bend down... A mosque is no place for this behavior, remember that Take him to the solitary Get up Come on!! Get inside Come on! From now on it's going to be like this Why don't you eat? If my late wife could cook like this, she'd be alive now! Okay, it ain't the end of the world You should thank God you've got your health Would you rather be free but have no...? It was my fault, I started it, should I go? - Where? - To the solitary No, son All inmates who are sentenced to life are rowdy at first But soon they get used to it I hope it will be a happy life together Sit down, son, sit down and eat Take this one to the solitary Let's go - He said that one - Move My teardrops fell My eyes became seas in my teardrops your shadow appeared Colonel, let me clean your glasses Mind your own business, get on with your work! Come on! Go To hell with it, I'll appeal again - What are you doing? - Nothin' Are you going to kill yourself!? I said I ain't doin' nothin' Look the other way, put that glass away I said I ain't gonna do nothin', go and watch soccer So you can go kill yourself in peace? I won't let you Damn it, leave me alone You coward, suicide is a sin If you take one more pill, I'll kill you with my own hands Look what you did? I cut my arm You cut it? Where? Here! Hello, brother Hello Looks like you were very hopeless to want to... Say whatever you want, but don't preach me I didn't intend to preach you I just wanted to say that at such times you may rely on God Rely on God for what? I live like a dog, I get no respect they beat me on the head and then they say rely on God The heaven and hell that everyone says... Sorry to interrupt, but heaven and hell are nonsense It's for foolin' folks like you and me They say these things to fool us Who? The Mullahs Of course the Mullahs have bad and good among them too Yeah, they bought the good ones at a high price they're waitin' to sell 'em in the right season Colonel, you didn't tell me how long you've been here? Ah! How many times do you ask? Get going Look at these muscles, dude Get inside I see you are much better today My health doesn't get any better or worse Sorry about this man, we didn't have any empty beds It's okay! Actually we became friends right away our friend has a lot of respect for the clergy Oh, how nice Goodbye I'm really ashamed, sir Why? There is no need for you to be ashamed Well, sometimes when you're upset, you've gotta cuss at someone And who better than us, Mullahs? My name is Reza My name's Reza too You know, Hajji if l hadn't seen your clothes, I'd never think you're a Mullah How come? Your hands don't look like the hands of a Mullah Because being a Mullah is not my profession What d'ya mean? I'm a plaster-moulder, traditional plaster-molding it's my forefathers' profession - Is that possible? - Why not? Man is worthy of honor for his soul and humanity Beautiful attire do not reflect his worth Right on, man! Humanity! How is it, doc? Good, I think you can be released tomorrow But, Doc, I ain't feelin' well yet I feel weak, my arm hurts Do you want me to recommend that you stay here for a week? I'd appreciate that No way, I'll tell them to take you tomorrow I don't wanna go back to that hell-hole If I go back, I'll cut my artery Have you lost hope again, Reza? Do you know what, Hajji? Even if there is a hell I'll end up in the worst part of it No, dear brother! There are as many ways to reach God as there are people What? I said there are as many ways to reach God as there are people What does that mean? It means that God doesn't close all his doors on his people Don't lose hope Excuse my language, but do you Mullahs have to preach all the time? No, we're not the only ones who preach Listen! People buy everything from stores But since there are no stores that sell friends they can’t buy friends and they feel lonely if you want a friend, tame me He asked: what does tame mean? The fox said: it means make me love you and this is something that is totally forgotten nowadays He asked: how can I do that? The fox said: you have to have patience, a lot of patience So they've got preachers all over the world then That's right, my dear brother Say hi to him for me Peace be upon you too... I'll take a shower before they come to get you I had a great time Hajji I had never hung out with a cool Mullah before I had a great time too I had never hung around with a cool prisoner like you before - Hello, Hajji - Peace be upon you Fereshteh Street! Fereshteh Street! Damn it! Fereshteh Street? I didn't wanna trouble you No trouble, Hajji, we owe you a lot more than this Thank you, I've been hangin' there for a long time Yes, people have become very bad, they have no respect any more Unfortunately, that's how it is Dear brother, this is the wrong way What wrong way, Hajji? This is a reserved lane for special traffic and I have a special passenger Hello? Hello? Yes? I'm coming I'll be there in two minutes I'm taking a shortcut Oh fine, now the cops are here Registration and drivers license Hello, officer Hajji is in a hurry, and that's why we came this way, Hajji Hello, officer, how are you? We apologize and promise it won't happen again It better not happen again, go ahead Pardon me, but Fereshteh Street is not this way! Oh! Fereshteh? Hajji, I thought you said Ferdowsi Sorry, but I'm late and I have to make a turn here, I'm sorry No problem Have you heard the poem mother took me by the hand and taught me to walk? This two G's for Ferdowsi street This two for Fereshteh street and two for the one way street You left your wallet in my pocket! Hello Yes? Who? All right! Are you Brother Jackson? Yes? You are under arrest for smuggling and purchasing stolen goods - Uh! Hajji you are making a mistake!! - You jackass! l!'s me! Reza! You idiot! What's this? I've become his holiness Mullah Reza So everything's cool? I don't have to say it again now! I don't want him to get into any trouble Bye! Is he a cool dude? This Mahmoud Motazedi is sharper than you think Don't look at his age He can forge passports that even the passport office... can't tell if it's original or fake His hang-out is Mozafari teahouse He'll pick you up at the train station You'll just get your passport it's all been paid for Thanks a lot, man For instance, one of the unique capabilities used in the internet is chatting Internet, chat, multimedia What are you talking about? Mullahs don't talk like this - Look! Then what's this? - This is an exception You better talk like regular Mullahs Look! We will continue our discussion of salvation in ultimate darkness... By reviewing the movie Pulp fiction Jackson, they talk about everything Like this... what did he say? Pul fiction? - Pulp fiction - What does it mean? It's the name of a movie, eat your dinner As Tarantino says: I want to be where God wants me Hello What a hell raiser! God bless him Hello Hey, Hajji, your turban is backwards! Shove off... God bless you all Give my regards to your mother! Welcome, Hajji, peace be upon you Peace and God's mercy be upon you Please come this way You should be comfortable here I'm flattened by your kindness God willing, during the trip, we will use your grace's presence Yes, yes, may God accept With your permission What! Peace and God's mercy be upon you Peace and God's mercy and benevolence be upon you Hajji, is it okay with you if a passenger sits here temporarily, until the next station? - Please, no problem - Go on in Hello I'm really sorry, there were no empty family compartments and I thought next to you would be the safest place for these ladies Yes, they'll be safe here They will only bother you until the next station What bother? it's an honor With your permission Please sit down, Lady Hello Hajji - Forgive me, Hajji - No problem My legs were falling off from moving from one compartment to another Yes! What can I say, Hajji? He was this big, but his... was only this big Oh, my God! What are you saying? Dear, Mullahs are like doctors, you can confide in them Yes, if you don't tell these things to us, who're you gonna tell? Yes, you were saying, Lady Yes, forget about his problem, he hit her, Hajji Oh God, we ask for your forgiveness and... To you we repent To you we repent, some people are really bad Yes, Hajji, Faezeh's body was always black and blue Faezeh, show your bruise to Hajji But I can't, mum I want Hajji to see what you've been through He thought I'm scared of him because he is a bully I filed a complaint and got my daughter's divorce Oh my God, what hardship you've been through He still wants Faezeh, he keeps asking her to go back to him But I said shut up, over my dead body can you have her Don't you make that mistake, Lady Faezeh No, Hajji, the three years I lived with him was enough for a lifetime Please pray for her, Hajji pray she finds a good husband God willing, a hot dish... I mean a modest, smart lady like her, won't be hard to pass off... What happened? Nothing, she fell asleep So fast? Yes, she always falls asleep all of a sudden How nice, poor child What has that degenerate man done to you? May God punish him Yes, I think he loved me you know! But he was a brute Yes, they should cut off the hands of a man who'd hit a lady like you Thank you, Hajji, can you close that window? My mother is not well, she'll catch a cold - Are you okay? - Yes, yes Thank God, okay, I'll get the window Uh! What happened, Hajji? Nothing, I'm stuck I'll get it out right away Do you want me to pull the emergency breaks? Don't touch the brakes, I will fix it myself Thank you, God bless you Forgive us, Hajji, the windows are rusty and they get stuck sometimes No problem Okay, sisters, take your stuff Hajji wants to be comfortable No, I am comfortable, where are you taking them? Let them stay here! We have an empty family compartment now, let's go Goodbye, Hajji You know how we Mullahs are We love having company Please stay I've thought about finding you company too Go right ahead, gentlemen Peace and God's mercy and benevolence be upon you I bear witness that there is no God but the one and Only God I have gone there 15 times already this year The good thing is that you don't need a visa, you only need a passport Right colonel? I don't know much about there What's the meaning of that, colonel? We want to provide a service to people Those are customs regulations, I don't know about them Where do you work? I am in the criminal investigation department, we catch thieves May God reward you You're providing a service Looks like we have to get off for prayers We will hold a mass prayer because of your presence Hajji We'll get two pence more out of it Me? But I, if you allow me... So you said you are a preacher Hajji? With your permission You are going to your mosque then? - If God accepts me - God willing They say you have to pull your hand down to the hairline How far should I go? Do what "Rostam" did, my dear brother, come on, it's getting late Hajji Amiri, come do your ablution, the train will leave soon Which mosque are you going to, Hajji? AI-Amir mosque, if I'm not mistaken AI-Amir? Where is that? It should be around here You see, Hajji? A train full of people and less than 20 people come for prayers! There are some folks who don't even know how to pray Shall we line up, Hajji? Line what up? Hajji is kidding, please, Hajji When I'm praying I totally forget the time Please pray for us, Hajji That's what I meant May God accept our prayers, Hajji - Exactly - Please pray for us, too Okay, I hope you all, God willing Dear brother, I didn't want to trouble you What trouble, Hajji? We were taken by your virtues Don't say that, your virtues were much better than mine I wanted to ask you something in private, Hajji Excuse me! I am constantly traveling and I'm always away from my family and that puts a lot of pressure on me! I understand, get to the point What are the temporary marriage laws for people like us? You don’t know what a heaven they have there! Unlawful You mean there isn't any other way? Any exceptions? No, that is totally unlawful And it is written that whoever does that the angels will spit on him and he will die a terrible death and Satan will personally service your mouth to his mouth Better to just have a pleasant trip! - Let's go, Hajji - Where to? I will drop you off at Amir Mosque I don't want to trouble you No trouble at all, Hajji, let's go, the car is waiting Actually they are going to pick me up Really? You're not just saying that? No, I think they must be right around here... Hajji, they have come for you! Welcome Hajji I am Hajji Fazly This Hajji is a very great man and a true believer Don't take him for granted I can tell just by looking at him I think there has been a mistake I'm supposed to go to some mosque That's our mosque, Hajji We knew you were coming a week ago We wrote so many letters to the prayer organization that we finally got results Well, thank God Excuse me, what's the name of your mosque? - Amir mosque, Hajji - Didn't I tell you? Everything is correct, Sir! I leave Hajji in your hands then - Allow me - Good luck, Hajji How nice! This was our Hajji? Why? Do you know him? Yes, we were in the same train come up, Hajji, welcome Then why didn't you tell us, Hajji? I didn't? I thought I did! Anyhow, I hope God gives me the service to offer you my strength Please Hajji, please sit in the front, Hajji I want to get some fresh air if you allow me - No way, please take the from seat - I just want some fresh sir, please With your permission we'll be going now Why don't you leave? We've got a flat tyre, you go on, Hajji - Take care of yourself - Good luck Excuse me can you tell me where the border and customhouse is? The border patrol station is 5 km from our village Right And can people cross the border from there? Yes, but the regulations are strict Because there are too many smugglers and thieves trying to cross this border they only allow people with passports to across I see! May we be excused, Hajji? Come this way, Hajji You go on, I'll escort these dear souls I also ask your permission We live right around here, please come and visit us Thank you, I sure will, God willing Peace be upon you, sir Well, the new Mullah, hi there - Leave him alone, Javad - I won’t bother him! My name's Javad Delangiz, at your service Glad to meet you It shows on your face Are you comin' back from Tehran now? What's it to you? You're not her husband anymore Let me carry your bag No need! We don't need your help, let's go Faezeh Excuse us, Hajji, goodbye Are you leaving? God be with you Hajji Ahmadi, this way please, they're waiting for you - I'll be seein' you, Hajji - Yes, do so, I'd like that This way, Hajji It's been more than a year that our mosque hasn't had a clergy but I've kept its light burning As you see, this is the roofed summer time altar, the main section is on the other side We have a few chambers around here We hold the 'Komeil' prayer every Thursday We hold Koran classes for the youth and l teach them myself Unfortunately very few people come to the mosque, Hajji Now that Hajji has come here, God willing, our mosque will prosper like old times again You're practically a Mullah yourself You lead prayers, you teach Koran, you've got it all down Actually my father was a Mullah But certain turns in my life made me unable to continue Thank God, Gholamali has chosen to follow his grandfather Thank God He knows four sections of the Koran by heart, Hajji! - Six sections, Hajji! - Wow! Praise the Lord God willing, he is going to memorize all the Koran this year He's going to enter the national competition God willing But he has to work hard at it When you love the Koran, it won't be hard at all God willing, he'll become a champ and join the national soccer team - May I ask you a question, Hajji? - Sure You have done studies in theological cognition? No, I've spent my whole life in Qom These are your quarters, Hajji You must forgive us, but this was the best we could afford Don't mention it, it's a great place! You have put up a lot of effort - Is this the getaway? - Pardon me? - I mean the gateway - Yes, sort of I have a question, Hajji Don't ask so many questions, Mojtaba Hajji is tired, ask him at prayer, with your permission God be with you I want these two handsome youngsters to stay, I want to talk to them As you wish, Hajji At your service, Hajji Well, dear ones, now tell me how you do your ablution and how many sections does each prayer have? Yes, hajji, in the name of God Morning prayer has two sections, noon and evening prayers have four and the night prayer has three sections Don't be so upset, Mojaver A prisoner's job is to escape and ours is to catch him You don't get the point, Major This had never happened in my prison before This man has ruined my reputation Look, he can't go anywhere We've put out an A.P.B on him We have put surveillance on everyone who has been in contact with him their phones are tapped One mistake and he will be arrested what else do you want? Think about it, Mojaver If none of the prisoners escape, what's the use of a warden? Hajji is here, praise his holiness - Please lead, Mr. Fazly - Please, Hajji I mean it, makes no difference, I'd be more comfortable that way Thanks, Hajji, we're at your service Well, call the "Azan" so we can begin - l already called - Called who? - The "Azan", sir - Right Why are you standing there? I'm hereto say the praises, sir Okay - Deliver a sermon for us, Hajji - A what? These folks haven't come to the pulpit for a long time Give us a sermon You mean pray again? No, I mean preach for us, Hajji Oh, you mean up there Umm... in the name of God Today, that for the first time I am with you respectful citizens I am very happy to be present in this radiant crowd I want to tell you what we are going to discuss today it's about the different ways of finding God Which are as many as there are people Well, what does that mean? It means that for you, for example, there is a path for you that leads to God And there is another path for the person next to you - For you... - Me? No, the man in the blue coat behind you - Me? - Yes There is a path for you that leads to God For Mr. Fazly there is a path that leads to God too For the baker, the butcher, the prisoner... Yes, pay attention to this word There is also a path for that miserable criminal prisoner that leads to God Now that I mentioned prisoners, I want to tell you something Imagine you want to enter a house, okay? There are several ways for that You can use the key and open the door, okay? But if you don't have a key, the other option is a master key If you don't have a master key, you can use a piece of wire, clippers, a screwdriver Or you may climb the wall use a rope, and so on Now sometimes you may want to climb the neighbor's wall to enter the house In my opinion that's okay too that's another way that leads to God Of course provided that you don't bother the neighbors, in my opinion that's alright too Anyhow, there is no person in the world who doesn't have a path to reach God l mean God has given people lots of paths and they all lead to... God! God! Well done, that was so cool Okay, that ends today's sermon, as simple as that May God be with all of you - That was an interesting sermon, Hajji - Don't mention it - Inquiry, Hajji! - What? Question, Hajji The value of "Al-Qadr Night" is more than 1000 months, why? I'll let Mr. Fazly answer this question because I want to see how much religious knowledge he has Please, Mr. Fazly No offense Hajji Because on this night God sends the angels down and determines the events of a whole year praying on this night is more valuable than praying for 1000 months Applaud him It's truly amazed! Well done to all of you for being such knowledgeable and literate believers - Well done - I have another... Allow me to answer you in the next session I want to go for a pilgrimage to the shrine Let us be together tonight, Hajji We have prepared a simple dinner God willing, tomorrow I will take you wherever you want Thank God, I hadn’t had such good chow in a long time You must forgive us, Hajji I'm sure it wasn't as good as what you eat at home It was much better - Inquiry! - Yes? Hajji, in the North Pole we have six months of nights and six months of days How do we say our day and night prayers over there? You look at me as if you have a bus ticket for the North Pole and you want to leave right now! Actually, there are differences among the clergy over this issue Some of them believe that we Muslims should never go to the North Pole because we are used to warm climates and the cold weather will bother us Why should we go to a place where we might freeze to death? Then, if a war breaks out between the Muslims and North pole What would happen to a Muslim who might be taken captive? Yes! Actually this is what the other clergy say All the prayers that you say during the six months of night will be considered as night prayers and so... To hell with the North Pole Say your prayers according to the local time of your own country Then if we take that... Case closed, eat your yoghurt! One of the locals has a very good voice, he wants to sing a song if you would allow it Of course, why not? Actually reciting a song helps your digestion Please I have sprinkled water in the streets so there is no dust when he comes Well done Excuse me, Hajji, but I hope this music is not profane There's nothing wrong with it actually it is very good But a mosque is no place for singing! Mr. Fazly, who says a mosque is only a place for mourning? Actually sometimes it's good to cheer up and raise hell Well done That really hit the spot after the dinner we had, well done One move Hajji! God willing, in good time! - Hajji, peace be upon you, Hajji - Peace and God's blessing to you - Do you want to go to the city, Hajji? - With your permission Do you want us to come along so you don't get lost? No need, I don't get lost Excuse me, Hajji, I have a question about virtuous acts Listen, dear brother, I don't have time to answer your question now But it's like you two you're sticking to me like bloodsuckers and you follow me wherever I go This is not... - Virtuous! - Virtuous! Where are you going, Hajji? To hell! God forbid! God willing, I want to go to the shrine for pilgrimage I had a vision last night and he asked for me How fortunate you are, Hajji Please pray for us, Hajji - He looks like a saint! - Braveheart Shojayi! Please don't get up, go on with your work What have you done, Reza? At your service, Reza the Lizard I missed you so much Café Mozafari Drug addicts not allowed - What do you want? - Hello Who do you wanna see? I wanna see Mahmoud Motazedi What do you want? I've come from Tehran, Jackson sent me Are you Reza the Lizard? With your permission! Mahmoud was waitin' for you at the train station, but you didn't show up The cops are here! Get out! I said come out! - What a pleasure Hajji! - Peace be upon you, sir What are you doing here? Answering natures call! But be careful, there are no ewers here It was a pleasure to see you again Why don't you join us for prayers? Pray for me! I'm still thinking about the paths that lead to God Please continue, I'm sure you'll find them if you keep thinking Hajji, heads or tails? Of course I don't know where Mojtaba' gets these questions! But anyhow, it's important for Muslims to know... How to conduct their religious duties in space I will tell you now, since people are floating in space if the body of a female astronaut touches the body of a male astronaut that would not be a problem But it is necessary to join them in temporary wedlock before traveling to space to be on the safe side In such cases, due to the shortage of water in spaceships Ablution won't be needed Excuse me, Hajji, this is true for space, but since there is gravity on earth the relationship between a girl and a boy is problematic No, Mr. Fazly Excuse me, but it seems to me that you have had all your fun in your youth and now that it is these youngsters' turn you are being more Catholic than the Pope? Don't we youngsters have hearts? Okay, don't get carried away and abuse what I say now Let me finish Yes, Mr. Fazly, at that time you married a woman with 10,000 tomans but nowadays they don't even curse you for that amount, let alone give you a wife! So what can the youth do? Not all people have the facilities to go to space Mr. Fazly, I wanted to say something to you At your service, Hajji Can I borrow your pickup for a couple of hours? I want to go to the city The pickup is yours We know the city quite well, do you want us to come along? Where do you want to go, Gholamali? Have you memorized the "Ankabout" verse? Not all of it, but I will You don't have much time before enrollment Go do your work, if need be, I will take Hajji Thank you, but it's a personal matter - Personal? - Yes It's something between me and God Good for you Hajji, don't forget to pray for us Please - How are you, Hajji? - Thank you, what's up? - Are you the sheriff? - No, I just asked Then leave, it's good to keep your finger in your own pie Well, well, Hajji, did he behave? Yes, and how! Give me the money, Hajji's alright I oughta tear him to pieces and... What? Nothing, I said peace be upon you, Delangiz If only Islam hadn't tied our hands Now you're talkin' Why do you let those thugs do whatever they like with you? What could I do? My dear brother, under such circumstances it is necessary to... - I mean to beat the hell out of them - It's not s simple as you think Hello Hello, Mahmoud, it's me, Reza I'm not Mahmoud, where do you wanna go? Isn't this number 15? Eighth Street, no. 15? No, this is Ostovari street, eighth Street is up ahead I'm sorry, but the last one was Seventh Yes, but the streets go in this order Fifth, sixth, Ghaderi, seventh, Ostovari, Bolbol, ninth, eighth - Who is it? - it's Reza Reza? Come on in Hello You're not Reza Is this Mr. Motazedi's residence, no. 15? No isn't this no. 15, Eighth Street? This is it, but recently municipality has changed the numbers Yes? Mr. Motazedi's residence? Yes God damn cowards Don't get so worked up, mother How can I not get worked up? They handcuffed and took my lovely son in from of my eyes Do you expect me to dance? Do you know where he is? Is he in jail? If they don't let go of my son, I will curse them Listen, mother, Mahmoud was keeping something for me - Do you know where it is? - No He never brought his work home because he was a bastard He deserves whatever happens to him - Thank you for your help - Don't mention it Visit me again, you remind me of my bastard son Sure Hello, are you over there? No, I'm still here! Why didn't you go? They have arrested Motazedi, he's in jail Poor guy, what are you gonna do now? I don't know Everything's such a mess I gotta see if I can do something myself Don't you think of crossing the border without a pass! You're dead meat if they catch you No, God willing! Why are you talking nonsense? Good bye, God willing, goodbye Hello, Hajji, how's your family? We hope for the best, I had a question, Hajji This is what I do not call a virtuous act, go ahead Is the fear prayer required after watching a horror movie? Since you might piss in your pants after watching a horror movie ablution is in order for you Go and wash up Don't write, go wash Hello, Motazedi? Who is he? That was great news, colonel No offense hajji, but where were you last night that your clothes smell so much? Well, actually l had to go on a mission last night and as you know the streets have lots of holes and puddles So I fell in the gutter Empty promises till when? I swear our people can't tolerate it any more If they don’t say anything, its because they are modest I speak out because it's my responsibility I am talking here, Mash Ali, my God! Today everyone is Mr. Shojayi's guest Praise him for his success in the election What should a parliament member have? He has to have a cutting edge The rest will take care of itself You got foam in my eyes, oh God! Who is he, Mr. Fazly? He is engineer Shojayi He wants to become a parliament member, he's spending a lot of money Who's that? He wanted to cross the border illegally the border patrols arrested him and cutoff both his hands What happened, Hajji? Did the steam get to you? Go get two sodas, kid You'll feel better in a minute, Hajji We followed Hajji and he went to bad neighborhoods! In the name of God I want to open an important discussion with you loved ones and that is about the issue of cinema If brother Gholamali allows me... Please be quiet, I want to have an important discussion Yes, Hajji Yes, today we are going to talk about Pulp Fiction Mojtaba, do I have to call your names one by one? Be quiet! Both you and Gholamali, be quiet, we want to talk Okay sir, okay Yes, this move is made by brother Tarantino He is one of the great Christian filmmakers and I've heard he has won a few prizes Mojtaba and Gholamali, I asked you to be quiet Yes, Hajji, I just have one question Stop whispering, you have already asked all your questions, son I won't continue the discussion because I can't concentrate anymore - Yes! - it's me Hajji How nice Thank you God Excuse me for bothering you this late, Hajji No problem, I'm at your service anytime - Come in, dear - Excuse me Come inside Hello, Hajji What's going on here? We have come to help you To help me? We know everything Hajji Excuse me, what is it that you know? Gholamali and I followed you last night Hajji Excuse us but when you said you had a vision We became curious We were so moved, because of your greatness and your glory What? Hajji, I promise your secret will be safe with us What secret? That you go to poor neighborhoods in disguise You visited the family of prisoners She prayed for you a lot You mean that old lady? Of course, that's one of my duties What duty Hajji? If its a duty, then why don't the others do it? Oh, please Helping one needy person in secret is not that big of a deal One! That night he went to at least twenty houses Hajji's bag was full at the beginning then it got empty at the end I'm so upset... that you found out Alms are rewarded only when done in private At first we didn't want to mention it but we thought its not right to look the other way I just die for you charitable people That's why we thought we can accompany you tonight This humanity and kindness... what? Tonight? Yes, Hajji, tonight But I'm not going anywhere tonight Hajji, we know the needy people of this town That's right, but no! We have even brought our donations, go bring them Hajji, we have never had a true man of God here before We have never paid our religious debts Take these and distribute them as you wish Look, Hajji, don't you want us to take part in your good deed? Okay, let's go and do some good deeds in private One, two, three, four... God bless you We haven't done anything, pray for Hajji I'm in need for a prayer! I was ashamed to face my children we didn’t have any food at home What do you do, my dear brother? I am unemployed, Hajji The factory went bankrupt and I got laid off Sit and eat Your daughter seems to be sick She's so hot, does she have a fever? She's had a fever for three days Why don't you take her to a doctor? We took her, she has to have some tests but it's too expensive Better?! Don't you wanna eat dinner? Hajji, this is not right, let me come back there I have a few questions No need, this is no time for questions I want some fresh air He asks so many questions that it has become a pain in the... neck 4500 is all that's left from all that money God bless you, Hajji You make people happy You must be very happy, huh? Yes, I'm happy, but I don't know why my ears start ringing when I do a good deed! It's very strange I envy you, God loves you a lot Please pray for me You don't need my prayers You are such a great girl and true believer... No Hajji, I haven't been a good person Have you sinned? My dear, confess to me and unload the burden of your sins Damn these clothes! You can't make a move in them What was your question? Let's go, they are waiting I haven't done anything What brings you this way, Mr. Reza the lizard? I was just passing by, I didn't think they'd release you There! Your tough luck, I guess! Did they release Motazedi too? I don't know, it's been a long time since I heard from him Any of you guys heard anything about Motazedi? They say he's been sent to prison Look at this, don't you love it? I wanted to tell you something in private Lady Hajji Lady Hajji yourself! My name is Ozra Okay Ozra, do you know anyone who smuggles people? For whom? For me Look at this, don't you love it? I take a 20000 tomans check and I change it into 200 thousand tomans Is this your own work? I'm in the traveler cheque business I haven’t done such things for a long time Well done - What about passports? - You're Mahmoud's friend, right? - You got a picture? - Yeah Bring me 200 thousand tomans and take the passport 200 thousand tomans! Money doesn't grow on trees, you know That's the fee bro! Even if Mahmoud were here he would've charged you the same, you have to pay 50 thousand in advance That's not fair If you want to leave the country, that's the only way Hello, Hajji Hello, strength to you, what's all this for? Our saviour's birthday, Hajji! Great! We'll have a ball With your presence, of course, Hajji Excuse me, Hajji I have a question about ablution in space It is written that questions have to be asked at the right time, not now It is written? It is written that questions have to be asked at the right time, not now I asked you to do one thing What could I do? He just came all of a sudden Ham - Hello - Questions after prayers I don't have any questions I just wanted to say we intend to get married! Congratulations, God willing But our parents don't know, they are very strict Don't worry, my lips are sealed Hajji, now I know how you think about me I don't even think about you No Hajji, I won't make a good clergy - Why not? - Because my heart isn't pure, Hajji Actually I'm just like you, but l made good use of religion Hajji, I'm not a true believer! When I say my prayers my mind wanders off memorizing verses are very difficult for me too But, damn me, when bad things come my way, I get tempted I know what you mean Hajji, I shave my beard with a razor A student of theology doesn't Who says I have to become a clergyman? I have burnt my hand with a cigarette to stop smoking, but I still smoke No rational person would do that to himself Even God doesn't want me to become a clergy You sap! Don't blame God for your stupidity Look at me! You are a man and all human beings are attracted to mischief It's human nature God is not as strict as they say If he was totally against these things, he wouldn’t give us the tools for mischief Go live your life As the representative of God in this area and all other areas I am telling you that God has forgiven you Now go and have your fun But be careful! About the issue... of there being as many paths leading to God as there are people Well? Hajji, I have lost my path Can you show me a shortcut? Oh, my God! You're looking for a shortcut and I'm looking for a getaway I need someone to help me... You good for nothing baldie! May filth pour on your head! What's going on here? Oh, God, Hajji, he's killing my only daughter! But why? He says if she doesn't go back to him, he'll kill her l hope you haven’t called the police No, he says he'll kill her if the police comes Then let's go and get him! He says he'll kill her if anyone goes up Over my dead body! Why doesn't she go back to her life? Who better than Delangiz?! Shut up! Over my dead body! Open the door, brother Delangiz! Open the door - Why doesn't this open? - Sorry, it's locked Where's the key? My boss has it, you can go up and get it from him Up? Okay I have no other choice, with the landlord’s permission You have no right! Eh! Hajji! What are you doing here? I have come to talk to you I have nothing to say to you Get out from where you came before I break your bones - Damn you! - Shut up! Let my dear one leave and I will stay here to guide you I got no use for you, Mullah! You better not insult the clergy or put a price on them! What'll happen if I do? Listen prince, violence doesn't solve anything Wouldn't be better if we solve this problem rationally? Move aside or you'll get it! Wait a second Looks like you don't understand! Wait a second, dear Delangiz I want to give you a piece of advise Wait! I'm talking! Don't ever try to nit a man of the cloth specially if he is from downtown Tehran! Oh, my God! He's killing Hajji As I told you before, the paths leading to God are? As many as there are people! Well done, now you can add three other paths to that list hitting with the palm of your hand, kicking below the knee and a blow with the head you can use them in cases of emergency, they're sure to work! Well, goodbye dear one Now go clean up your boss! Thank you, Hajji, that made me feel better My boss's pride! God damn your boss As they say, Lieutenant Nemati is our mole in narcotics Tell him, Nemati Yes, I was sitting in Mozafari teahouse on detail, and the man you said came in Did you see his face? I wasn’t facing him, but the teahouse owner called him the Lizard Did you hear that with your own ears? Yes, I'm sure, they were whispering they were talking about passports, then they left together Of course, the teahouse owner's husband used to smuggle people across the border But he died four years ago Now the teahouse has become a hangout for criminals We haven’t shut the place down to be able to arrest all of them You mean the woman might be in the same business? Or she might know the smugglers - Hello, Hajji - Peace be upon you Excuse me, Hajji, but is prayers accepted with these wounds? It's got nothing to do with that, you have to have a pure soul - A lot of people came to the mosque - We are going to the mosque too - I have another question, Hajji - Ask me after the prayers He don't look like he can beat anyone Not at all Ain't it a little embarassin', boss? Why? They might say we've come to the mosque because we're afraid of the Mullah Let 'em say what they want This is one Mullah that Delangiz is willing to stand behind for prayers Praise for all of Muslim clergymen! Please sit down, please, please In the name of God The Merciful I am glad to see that a lot of the locals have gathered here I think it's the effect of that famous sentence the paths to reach God Because I can see two brothers who were worthless thugs have joined Islam as well, thank God I hope they have felt this from the bottom of their hearts Actually l am only recently beginning to understand the depth of this sentence Instead of sitting up there and preaching I should sit here and really think about this sentence God's peace and mercy and benevolence be upon you Father, you weren't there to see how the guy, who had 6 children, felt! Tell him, Ham Yes, actually l was really moved Of course I'm sure you're doing good deeds, Hajji But you, when you left and came back in the morning do you know how far behind you got in your main duty? Which one is my main duty? Helping people or memorizing the "Koran"'? Don't shout slogans, kid! You are not here to serve people Get up, get up I'm talking to you, Gholamali - I won't enter the competition - What? I won't take part in the competition I am notable to memorize You say something, Hajji Mr. Fazly, don't pick on the youth so much You can't force people into heaven, dear brother! You are pushing so hard that they might fall off the other side into hell -Hajji! -What? - Everyone's waiting - What are these? Bread and dates, my mom prepared them All my cousins have come Two pickups are waiting at the from door, please come I'm not coming with you tonight - Why Hajji? - Because... But that's not possible, Hajji Dear brother, I have a mission Please give this money to the needy on my behalf It's obvious that the guy is very needy! I have a question about need This is no time for questions Those are God's mysterious ways, now leave You go on too I have to leave myself Do you like it? Not bad! Not bad?! You're so out of it! Do you know I went through hell to change this number? Thanks a lot But this corner still needs some work Your work is very delicate! They call me Ozra Shapoury! Master Yousef Shapoury's daughter! Really? How interesting! Do you even know him? No, but when you say the name... Everyone in this region knows Yousef Shapoury He was a master miniature artist I was also his student Then why did you turn up like this? Destiny, poor thing thought I'll become a famous painter one day What delusions! What do you want? Here you go - What the hell's this? - You tell her what this is This means there are as many paths leading to God as there are people Oh go on, dude! Don't forget, goodbye, let's go Don't people have better things to do? He has brought these and says there are a lot of paths leading to God That's ridiculous! - Have some bread and dates - Thanks, I've already had some - What was the number? - 20 What happened, Ozra? Tonight, after so many years I got reminded of my parents Then all of a sudden they ring the bell and bring me bread and dates! So what? God hasn't forgotten me Well, that's cool! Now let's get on with our work Repentance! Ozra? Forget about it, what repentance? I have repented, I've returned I know those guys they don’t have anything better to do! Come and fix the passport so I can get on with my miserable life Passport? What are you doing, nutcase? Eh! You better repent too, God will forgive you Crazy lady! Hey, what's with you? God bless the cows! - Mrs. Shapoury? - No! Aren't you Mrs. Shapoury? I said no! Isn't this number 20? Who are you to ask questions? Yes Isn't this no. 20, Shirojan Street? No, officer This is no. 2, you've made a mistake Is this no. 2? Eh! What happened to our number? The pigeons have done this There you go, now it's 2 God help me, what have I done to myself? God! You have to repent too God will forgive you too There's room for all of you Ozra? Ozra isn't here anymore, Ozra repented, God forgave her The 50 thousand I paid her! The woman has found time to repent! Get back, move aside Repent, repent and God will forgive you See the posters we have printed? Engineer Shojayi with ready to punch out deceit This one snows that engineer Shojayi is a thoughtful man, who thinks about the future Engineer Shojayi standing in from of the people with ultimate power Sir, I love this one Shojayi has turned his back to all the money in the world and he doesn't care! Thank you, they are great, have them printed Sir, with these posters, God willing, you're as good as elected Your breakfast is ready, sir The fresh bread got here at last Follow the printing process I want them posted by tomorrow Yes sir, don't worry Why are you so late, Safoura? I've been waiting for fresh bread for an hour Forgive me, something had happened I hope it's nothing bad My aunt is a bit of a con! She repented last night and the neighborhood is in chaos How did she repent that it caused a chaos in a neighborhood? They say, Hajji Reza has spoken to her I didn't understand what she was saying she just kept crying all the time Who's Hajji Reza? Haven’t you heard? The sheikh of Amir Mosque Every night he goes to the house of the needy and gives them money And you know how he does it? In disguise! If he goes in disguise how do you know it's him? He uses a disguise, but now everyone knows him He gives money to the poor and dowry to the girls who want to get married He cures the sick... He cures the sick! They say a dumb boy has eaten the beard and dates that Hajji Reza gave him and now he can talk I see! Peace to you, Hajji! Peace to you! Hajji, are you on another mission? Yes, private mission, with your permission - Good for you, Hajji - Hello Hajji! Hajji! You brought light to our humble hut God knows how much I wanted to see you Now that I've found you, I won't let go Thank you, but I've already told our friends... No, Hajji, I'm the host and you are the guest And as they say, a guest is the host's what? The host's dog? Don't say that, you are our master the apple of our eyes Do you know why I wanted to see you? Because I'm a charity worker just like you, sir - I see! - I do good deeds I build mosques and schools God bless you I'll come and visit you tomorrow for lunch Hold on, hold on, Hajji, I want to take you somewhere I'm sure it's going to make you happy - Where? - Prison No, we're coming, we'll be there in ten minutes Goodbye Excuse me... Hajji, we have the good fortune on our saviour's birthday to pay the debts of a few prisoners who were arrested for bounced cheques and have them released It's a private gathering and I want you to come Well, it would be an honor for me, but I can't come today Listen, Hajji, I have a bad temper and if anyone disagrees with me, I will get upset Safoura, can't you get us two cups of tea? She keeps answering back Releasing prisoners is one of the most important affairs Please, go ahead Safdary, 150 thousand tomans, Vakili, 150 thousand tomans Maghareyi, 150 thousand tomans This poor thing is here for 50 thousand tomans?! He's a good kid too, God will really reward you Yes, Saneyi, 500 thousand tomans... No, this was not on the list Here, look Eh! I thought it's 50 thousand tomans! Forget it, any man who owes 500 thousand tomans belongs in prison How much is the total? A million 430 thousand tomans Don't we have anyone with 70 thousand tomans to make it even? No, there's one who owes 100 thousand tomans No, that's enough! Hello Mr. Mojaver is one of my colleagues God willing, engineer Shojayi is going to be our representative Hajji Ahmadi, one of our greatest charity workers My pleasure, Hajji The pleasure is mine What happened, major? You mean Ozra? She doesn't have any information She seems to have gone crazy, she keeps talking about repentance Let's go for the ceremony together Hajji Please In the name of God The Merciful Greetings to all you respectable folks and especially to my dear inmate friends Of course we all know that people... sometimes break the law because of need and misery and they say that outlaws are not believers Well, what does that mean? Allow me to explain First of all... don't think that God has forgotten you The prison gates might be closed to you but... the gates to God's blessing are always open to you Stop thinking of ways to escape! God doesn’t only belong to good people! Our God, is the God of the criminals as well And it is only God, who doesn’t look upon people differently Actually, God is the heaviest dude in gentleness, the heaviest dude in kindness He is easy going and the heaviest dude in forgiving the heaviest dude in friendship A good friend, will give everything for his buddy If people live by the codes they will never steal anything But unfortunately, some people want everything for themselves and this is very bad We have to do something to tame people Taming means... creating love and that’s the only way leading to God, this is very important I don't aim to preach because it's useless and no one can be forced into... That's why mankind should... Allow me to finish my words with a poem Man is worthy of honor for his soul and humanity Beautiful attire do not reflect his worth l hope that all of you be released from here very soon and that you can find your path Please pray for me to find a path as well I hope I don’t see you here and you don’t see me here and we see each other in other places May God be with you and bless you Thank you for your time Forgive me for talking so much But this is very cruel Mr. Mojaver Prisoners don’t come here to have fun, they come hereto get reformed As they say, the schoolmaster's punishment is better than the father's kindness Don't you agree, Hajji? Yes, you are right, I agree with you Didn't you have a T.V. program a few years ago called Knowledge in television, Hajji? Well done, Knowledge in television Didn't I tell you? I've seen you on T.V. How nice that you remember Mahmoud Motazedi to the visiting room It was a fruitful program It was on Monday nights, right Hajji? Yes, you're right, Monday nights, excuse me but I have an excremental problem and I have to find some water, excuse me - Mr. Motazedi? - Yes? I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes Are they gonna execute me? No, it will only take a few minutes Please, Hajji I'm Reza Mesghali Reza Mesghali? I don't know you Reza the lizard Who sent you? Jackson You were supposed to smuggle me across the border Don't disgrace me Cool, what a nice disguise! I'm in deep shit, Mahmoud Why didn't you leave? I tried to see you, but they said they've arrested you Why didn't you get your passport? - Passport? From who? - From my mother... Your pass was ready when you gave us your picture Don't lie, I went to her Did you tell her who you are? No Well, how could she know it's you? Go tell her who you are, get your pass and leave You ain't puttin' me on? Why should I? I owe Jackson a lot Well, goodbye, you may take him now, brother Please pray for me, Hajji It was a great program and we had a nice time Mr. Moshaver I'm Mojaver, Hajji I nope to find another chance to... I hope to see you on T.V. again Of course they insist a lot but because their programs are of such low quality I don't accept, goodbye Goodbye, Hajji What are you so suspicious about? There was never a T.V program called Knowledge in television How could I know it was you? You looked like undercover cops Did you say it was a passport? Yes I believe in right and wrong and I don't swipe the customer's money That's how I've raised my bastard son! Here... You look better with a beard Yes, thank you I'm mourning for my father No problem, but the border is closed now Come back in two or three hours Okay, I'll wait for another two or three hours I'll come back You went on a mission in broad daylight? Missions don't have any special time Finish your work, we'll start the evening prayers early Is that possible, Hajji? In cases of emergency it is allowed Well, Gholamali, what's up? I want to enter the competition Well done After you, Hajji May God accept Hello Hajji, what are you doing here? Hello, Faezeh, my dear one, may God kill me, what are you carrying? It must be very heavy It's greens for tonight's celebration Allow me to help you No, I swear to God, I won't let you I have come hereto serve you By the way, isn't your mother coming to the mosque? She sends her regards She went to the upper village to wash the fruit Oh! So she's not here? Although I don’t have much time, but allow me to guide you to your home Then you have to come up and have tea with me Come up? Damn this temptation I would love to, but... - Delangiz? - Yes, Hajji? Come, help carry Faezeh's load I am at her service I don't need your help This Delangiz is not the old Delangiz! God willing, he's become much better It's been a while that he regrets how he treated you He has done that before, he's lying No, I swear to God, it's different this time Nonsense, you can't fool me any more - I won't do anything to her - I said carry these stuff and don't talk He keeps explaining himself, he talks like a chatterbox I said take these and shut up Yes Hajji Thank you Hajji, goodbye From police headquarters to the station this is to inform you that Hajji Reza Ahmadi who was recruited to be... the prayer leader of Amir mosque passed away due to severe illness before he could go on his mission You mean this Hajji Ahmadi is the armed robber? Reza the lizard He wasn't armed We arrested his accomplice last week and he confessed that the weapon belonged to him But this man has done so many good things here People swear on his name Well, they are making a mistake Let's go Hajji, he's going to sing, aren't you coming? Tell him to start Yes, Hajji These clothes are supposed to tame people It's good for people to become tamed, isn't it? No need for that anymore There is no one in this world who doesn't have a path to reach God You have to have a pure soul You can't force people into heaven, dear brother! You will push so hard that they might fall off the other side into hell God is the heaviest dude in gentleness, the heaviest dude in kindness the heaviest dude in forgiveness, and the heaviest dude in friendship