WEBVTT
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Sheldon: Research journal, entry one.
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I’m about to embark on
one of the great challenges
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of my scientific career:
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[audience laughter]
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teaching Penny physics.
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[audience laughter]
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I'm calling it “Project Guerrilla.”
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Hey Sheldon.
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Sheldon: Come in. Take a seat.
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Subject has arrived.
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[audience laughter]
NOTE Paragraph
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I’ve extended a friendly,
causal greeting.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Ready to get started?
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Sheldon: One moment.
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[audience laughter]
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Subject appears well rested
and enthusiastic.
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[audience laughter]
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Apparently ignorance IS bliss.
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[audience laughter]
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All right. Let us begin.
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Where’s your notebook?
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Penny: Umm, I don’t have one.
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Sheldon: How are you going to take
notes without a notebook?
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Penny: I have to take notes?
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Sheldon: How else are you
going to study for the tests?
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Penny: There’s going to be a test?
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Sheldon: Tests.
[audience laughter]
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Here. That’s college ruled.
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I hope that’s not too intimidating.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Thank you.
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Sheldon: You’re welcome. Now,
introduction to physics.
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What is physics?
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Physics comes from the ancient
Greek word “physica.”
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It's at this point that you'll
want to start taking notes.
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[audience laughter]
NOTE Paragraph
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And physica means
“the science of natural things,”
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and it is there, in ancient Greece,
that our story begins.
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Penny: Ancient Greece?
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Sheldon: Hush. If you have
questions, raise your hand.
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[Sheldon clears throat]
[audience laughter]
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It’s a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC.
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You’ve finished your shopping
at the local market, or “agora.”
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[audience laughter]
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And you look up at the night sky,
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and there you notice
some of the stars seem to move.
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So you name them “planetes,” or wanderer.
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[audience laughter]
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Yes Penny?
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Penny: Um, does this have anything |
to do with Leonard’s work?
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Sheldon: This is the beginning
of the 2600 year journey
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we are going to take together.
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From...
[audience laughter]
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...the ancient Greeks,
through Isaac Newton,
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to Niels Bohr, to Erwin Schrödinger,
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to the Dutch researchers
that Leonard is currently ripping off.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: 2600 years?
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Sheldon: Yeah, give or take.
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As I was saying: It’s a warm summer
evening in ancient Greece.
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Yes Penny?
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Penny: I have to go
to the bathroom.
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Sheldon: Can’t you hold it?
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Penny: Not for 2600 years.
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[audience laughter]
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Sheldon: Project Guerrilla, entry two.
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I am exhausted.
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[audience laughter]
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Sheldon: Now remember, Newton realized
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that Aristotle was wrong
and force was not necessary
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to maintain motion.
NOTE Paragraph
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So, let's plug in our
9.8 meters per second squared
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as a and we get force,
[audience laughter]
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Earth gravity, equals mass
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times 9.8 meters per second per second.
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So we can see that ma equals mg and
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what do we know from this?
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Um...
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We know that...
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Newton was a really smart cookie.
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[audience laughter]
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Oh! Is that where Fig Newtons come from?
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[audience laughter]
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Sheldon: No, Fig Newtons are named after
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a small town in Massachusetts.
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Don't write that down!
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[audience laughter]
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Now, if ma equals mg,
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what does that imply?
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Penny: I don't know.
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Sheldon: How can you not know?
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I just told you.
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Have you suffered
a recent blow to the head?
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Hey! You don't have to be so mean
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Sheldon: I'm sorry.
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(nicely) Have you suffered
a recent blow to the head?
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: No, you just suck at teaching!
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Sheldon: Really?
Of those two explanations,
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which one seems the most likely?
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Sheldon,
I'm trying to understand
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but you're going too fast.
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Can you just back up a little bit?
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Sheldon: Alright
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It's a warm summer evening
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in ancient Greece.
[audience laughter]
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Penny: Not that far back!
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Sheldon: Okay!
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At what point
did you begin to feel lost?
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Penny: I don't know.
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Where were we looking
up at the night sky?
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Sheldon: Greece
Penny: Dammit!
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Sheldon: Well, there's no need
to get frustrated.
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People learn at different rates,
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unlike objects falling
in a vacuum which....
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[audience laughter]
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ma equals mg...
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Penny: Squared?
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Sheldon: No.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Artistotle?
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Sheldon: No.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Five?
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Sheldon: Ugh!
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Penny: Ohhh then I don't know.
[cries]
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Sheldon: Why are you crying?
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Penny: Because I'm stupid!
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[audience laughter]
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Sheldon: That's no reason to cry.
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[audience laughter]
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One cries because one is sad.
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For example, I cry
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because others are stupid
and it makes me sad.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Ok. Look, can we just please
forget about all of this extra stuff
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and can you just tell me
what Leonard does?
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Sheldon: Alright.
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Leonard is attempting to learn
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why subatomic particles
move the way they do.
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Penny: Really? That's it?
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Well, that doesn't
sound so complicated.
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Sheldon: It's not.
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That's why Leonard does it.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: Ok, I just have one question.
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What exactly are subatomic particles?
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Sheldon: A good question.
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Penny: Thank you.
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Sheldon: And to answer it, we first
must ask ourselves, "What is physics?"
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Penny: Oh, balls.
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Sheldon: It's a warm, summer
evening in ancient Greece.
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[audience laughter]
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Bernadette: Raj, you should have
seen Leonard's experiment.
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The interference pattern was so cool
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when the electron beam was on.
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Leonard: I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Most people aren't that
interested in what I do.
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[audience laughter]
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Penny: [clears throat]
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Actually, that's not true, Leonard.
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In fact, recently,
I've been thinking that
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given the parameters
of your experiment,
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the transport of electrons
through the aperture
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of the nanofabricated metal rings
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is qualitatively no different
than the experiment
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already conducted in the Netherlands.
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[audience laughter]
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Their observed phase shift
in the diffusing electrons
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inside the metal ring already
conclusively demonstrated
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the electric analog of the Aharonov-Bohm
quantum interference effect.
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[audience laughter]
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That's it. That's all I know.
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[audience laughter]
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Oh wait!
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Fig Newtons were named
after a town in Massachusetts,
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not the scientist.
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[audience laughter]