Sheldon: Research journal, entry one.
I’m about to embark on one of the great challenges
of my scientific career:
[audience laughter]
teaching Penny physics.
[audience laughter]
I'm calling it “Project Guerrilla.”
[audience laughter]
Penny: Hey Sheldon.
Sheldon: Come in. Take a seat.
Subject has arrived.
[audience laughter]
I’ve extended a friendly, causal greeting.
[audience laughter]
Penny: Ready to get started?
Sheldon: One moment.
[audience laughter]
Subject appears well rested and enthusiastic.
[audience laughter]
Apparently ignorance IS bliss.
[audience laughter]
All right. Let us begin.
Where’s your notebook?
Penny: Umm, I don’t have one.
Sheldon: How are you going to take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you going to study for the tests?
Penny: There’s going to be a test?
Sheldon: Tests. [audience laughter]
Here. That’s college ruled.
I hope that’s not too intimidating.
[audience laughter]
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: You’re welcome. Now, introduction to physics.
What is physics?
Physics comes from the ancient Greek word “physica.”
It's at this point that you'll want to start taking notes.
[audience laughter]
And physica means “the science of natural things,”
and it is there, in ancient Greece, that our story begins.
Penny: Ancient Greece?
Sheldon: Hush. If you have questions, raise your hand.
[Sheldon clears throat] [audience laughter]
It’s a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC.
You’ve finished your shopping at the local market, or “agora.”
[audience laughter]
And you look up at the night sky,
and there you notice some of the stars seem to move.
So you name them “planetes,” or wanderer.
[audience laughter]
Yes Penny?
Penny: Um, does this have anything | to do with Leonard’s work?
Sheldon: This is the beginning of the 2600 year journey
we are going to take together.
From... [audience laughter]
...the ancient Greeks, through Isaac Newton,
to Niels Bohr, to Erwin Schrödinger,
to the Dutch researchers that Leonard is currently ripping off.
[audience laughter]
Penny: 2600 years?
Sheldon: Yeah, give or take.
As I was saying: It’s a warm summer evening in ancient Greece.
Yes Penny?
Penny: I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: Can’t you hold it?
Penny: Not for 2600 years.
[audience laughter]
Sheldon: Project Guerrilla, entry two.
I am exhausted.
[audience laughter]
Sheldon: Now remember, Newton realized
that Aristotle was wrong and force was not necessary
to maintain motion.
So, let's plug in our 9.8 meters per second squared
as a and we get force, [audience laughter]
Earth gravity, equals mass
times 9.8 meters per second per second.
So we can see that ma equals mg and
what do we know from this?
[audience laughter]
Penny: Um...
We know that...
Newton was a really smart cookie.
[audience laughter]
Oh! Is that where Fig Newtons come from?
[audience laughter]
Sheldon: No, Fig Newtons are named after
a small town in Massachusetts.
Don't write that down!
[audience laughter]
Now, if ma equals mg,
what does that imply?
Penny: I don't know.
Sheldon: How can you not know?
I just told you.
Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
[audience laughter]
Penny: Hey! You don't have to be so mean
Sheldon: I'm sorry.
(nicely) Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
[audience laughter]
Penny: No, you just suck at teaching!
Sheldon: Really? Of those two explanations,
which one seems the most likely?
[audience laughter]
Penny: Sheldon, I'm trying to understand
but you're going too fast.
Can you just back up a little bit?
Sheldon: Alright
It's a warm summer evening
in ancient Greece. [audience laughter]
Penny: Not that far back!
Sheldon: Okay!
At what point did you begin to feel lost?
Penny: I don't know.
Where were we looking up at the night sky?
Sheldon: Greece Penny: Dammit!
Sheldon: Well, there's no need to get frustrated.
People learn at different rates,
unlike objects falling in a vacuum which....
[audience laughter]
ma equals mg...
Penny: Squared?
Sheldon: No.
[audience laughter]
Penny: Artistotle?
Sheldon: No.
[audience laughter]
Penny: Five?
Sheldon: Ugh!
Penny: Ohhh then I don't know. [cries]
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
[audience laughter]
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry.
[audience laughter]
One cries because one is sad.
For example, I cry
because others are stupid and it makes me sad.
[audience laughter]
Penny: Ok. Look, can we just please forget about all of this extra stuff
and can you just tell me what Leonard does?
Sheldon: Alright.
Leonard is attempting to learn
why subatomic particles move the way they do.
Penny: Really? That's it?
Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.
Sheldon: It's not.
That's why Leonard does it.
[audience laughter]
Penny: Ok, I just have one question.
What exactly are subatomic particles?
Sheldon: A good question.
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: And to answer it, we first must ask ourselves, "What is physics?"
Penny: Oh, balls.
Sheldon: It's a warm, summer evening in ancient Greece.
[audience laughter]
Bernadette: Raj, you should have seen Leonard's experiment.
The interference pattern was so cool
when the electron beam was on.
Leonard: I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Most people aren't that interested in what I do.
[audience laughter]
Penny: [clears throat]
Actually, that's not true, Leonard.
In fact, recently, I've been thinking that
given the parameters of your experiment,
the transport of electrons through the aperture
of the nanofabricated metal rings
is qualitatively no different than the experiment
already conducted in the Netherlands.
[audience laughter]
Their observed phase shift in the diffusing electrons
inside the metal ring already conclusively demonstrated
the electric analog of the Aharonov-Bohm quantum interference effect.
[audience laughter]
That's it. That's all I know.
[audience laughter]
Oh wait!
Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts,
not the scientist.
[audience laughter]