[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.46,0:00:03.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, losing nude photos\Nfrom "Playboy"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.70,0:00:06.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is quite a cultural shift\Nfor America.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.37,0:00:10.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here to comment \Non that cultural shift, Tina Fey.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.28,0:00:22.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, "Playboy" magazine\Nhas announced that they
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.73,0:00:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will stop publishing \Nnaked photos early next year.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.19,0:00:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dashing the dreams of \Nmany a beautiful young woman
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.94,0:00:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who had hoped to one day\Nmove to Los Angeles
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.62,0:00:34.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, just by changing\Nevery single aspect
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.49,0:00:37.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of her appearance, \Nmaybe become Miss February,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.44,0:00:39.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then work her way\Nup the company ladder
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.47,0:00:43.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until one day, she gets\Ninvited to have an early bird
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.01,0:00:47.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fake five-way with\Na 100-year-old sex monster.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.87,0:00:50.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you know what \Nreally killed "Playboy," Colin?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.37,0:00:51.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Internet.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.68,0:00:54.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Internet\Ncut out the middleman.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.07,0:00:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't need an old man\Nanymore to choose
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.08,0:01:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which one of us gets \Nto sell pictures of our boobs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.09,0:01:02.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can all sell \Nour boobs now.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.93,0:01:05.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the sharing \Neconomy, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.44,0:01:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's Airbnb \Nfor crotch shots.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.68,0:01:10.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have my own\Nfor-profit porn site,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.77,0:01:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you ever hear of,\Num, overstock.com?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.56,0:01:14.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yep, \Nheard of that.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.90,0:01:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, that name was taken,\Nso mine is called
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.92,0:01:21.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,www.milfed.org.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.08,0:01:23.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Moms I'd like \Nto be friends with,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.20,0:01:27.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's .org, Colin,\Nbecause it's for your org.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.53,0:01:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My porn Website\Nis all arm butts,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.14,0:01:31.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,check this out.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.73,0:01:33.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.08,0:01:35.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like that?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.24,0:01:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Give me your \Ncredit card number.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.83,0:01:42.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get in there, Colin,\Nget in there.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.56,0:01:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Good, huh?\N- None of this is right.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.21,0:01:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is our future, \NColin.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.91,0:01:48.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is our economic\Nindependence.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.66,0:01:53.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Girls need to learn\Ncoding and arm butts...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.26,0:01:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which isn't to say that\NI'm not sentimental
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.41,0:01:57.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the end of\N"Playboy" centerfolds.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.03,0:01:59.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's always \Na certain amount of nostalgia
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.09,0:02:00.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you come\Nto the end of an era,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.87,0:02:04.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for me personally,\Nit means that my dream
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.02,0:02:06.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of posing for "Playboy"\Nwill never come true.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.56,0:02:08.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's something I've dreamed of\Nsince I was a little girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.85,0:02:11.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, I dreamed of\Ndoing all the poses.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.68,0:02:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was gonna do\Nthis one.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.65,0:02:17.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, and I was\Ngonna do this one,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.98,0:02:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in just a half an Eagles jersey\Nand tube socks.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.60,0:02:26.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was gonna do this one\Non a bale of hay.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.96,0:02:34.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know\Nif I know where to look.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.23,0:02:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think you do, \NColin.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.74,0:02:36.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We got to get going,\Nthough,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.87,0:02:39.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the last time I did this\Nthis long, a baby came out.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.55,0:02:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tina Fey, everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.75,0:02:43.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bye.