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Ripped with SubRip 1.13 and Verified by CdinT[br](Cristi_Polacsek@SoftHome.net)

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I deliver perfection...[br]and don't brag about it! :D

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Sorry,[br]I forgot my key.

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Oh, thanks...

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Hello, Fawlty Towers.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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No, this afternoon,[br]that would be fine.

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No, it's 16 Elwood Avenue.

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16, that's it.[br]Thank you.

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I'll just put[br]these outside, shall I, dear?

0:00:50.800,0:00:52.800
Polly, this is where[br]we'll be if you need us.

0:00:53.040,0:00:54.080
There's the number.

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If Mr. Stubbs wants[br]to know anything,

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just ring, but don't[br]if you don't have to.

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It's the first weekend[br]we've had off

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since Audrey had[br]her hysterectomy.

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Don't worry,[br]I know what they've got to do.

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Somebody called[br]about a garden gnome.

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They're going[br]to deliver it this afternoon.

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Oh, good.[br]Golf shoes.

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Good morning, Major.

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Very well, thank you.

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Does everyone know[br]about dinner tonight?

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I think so.

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But you'll be able to manage[br]breakfast tomorrow?

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There's just the ladies[br]and the Major.

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Where are[br]those shoes?

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"One moment, please.[br]I will het your vill."

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Manuel,[br]"Get your bill."

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I will het[br]your bill.

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Get. Get.[br]Ga... ga.

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Get. Get.[br]Ga... ga.

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- That's it.[br]- I will get your vill.

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Polly... oh, Manuel,[br]put those in the cases.

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Ah, Manuel...

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"One moment, please.[br]I will get your bill."

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What?

0:01:47.440,0:01:48.680
"I will get[br]your bill," Sí?

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What are you[br]talking about?

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Listen.[br]No, please.

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"Today we have veef,[br]beal or sothages."

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- What?[br]- Bangers.

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- Shut up.[br]- Eh?

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- Shut up.[br]- Oh, Sí, sí, shut up.

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- Yes, I understand.[br]- Well, will you please shut up?

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- Sí, sí, I shut up.[br]- Now, while we're away...

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- Shut up.[br]- Shut up!

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While we're away...[br]gone...

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Clean the windows.

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Oh, look...[br]Cuando nosotoros somos away...

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What's "away" in Spanish?[br]You know,"away." "away!"

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- Oh, sí, sí.[br]- No, not you.

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While we're away,[br]clean the windows.

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- Green?[br]- No, no. Look...

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Clean the windows.

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- Clean the windows.[br]- Clean.

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- Good morning, Fawlty.[br]- Good morning, Major.

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See?[br]Clean the windows.

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Comprendo. Comprendo.

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Oh, Mr. Fawlty.

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Good morning, Ladies.

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Ursula and I think[br]you're a very naughty boy.

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- Don't we, Ursula?[br]- Oh, God.

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Oh, really?

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Going away for the weekend,[br]leaving us all alone.

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Tsk, tsk, tsk.

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But we know[br]where you're going.

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The cat's[br]out of the bag.

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- You and your wife.[br]- It's only Paignton.

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Have a lovely time.[br]It'll do you good.

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You need to get[br]away from things.

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Well, we're going[br]together.

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Don't you worry[br]about us.

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Oh, all right.

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You know men are coming[br]to do some work here?

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- Yes.[br]- You'll have to go to Gleneagles

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for your din-dins[br]tonight.

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And Polly will be in charge,[br]if you need anything.

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Have a lovely[br]weekend.

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Don't do anything[br]we wouldn't do.

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Just a little[br]breathing, surely.

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I must buzz off now.

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- "Buzz"?[br]- Yes, you know,

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- Like babbity-bumble.[br]- Oh, buzz-buzz-buzz...

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Polly, I have[br]asked you, please,

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not to leave your strange[br]drawings lying around.

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What is this[br]supposed to be?

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It's just a sketch.

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What are you trying to do?[br]This is a junkyard, isn't it?

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- Can I have it?[br]- Why's it got a collar and tie under it?

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- It's not finished.[br]- It's very good...

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old soup tins,[br]broken down car,

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dustbins, mattresses,[br]hoovers,

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and a nice smart collar[br]and tie underneath.

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I mean, what's it[br]supposed to be?

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It's not important.[br]Can I have it back?

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It's irritating.[br]Do you ever sell any of those?

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I sell a few portraits[br]now and again, thank you.

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I haven't much hope[br]for this one.

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Would you give me[br]that stapler?

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What is the point[br]of something like that?

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- No point.[br]- No point?

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What's the point[br]in being alive?

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Beats me.[br]We're stuck with it, I suppose.

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Would you give me[br]the stapler?

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- If you don't go on at me.[br]- The stapler.

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Sorry.

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What's the matter[br]with you today?

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I didn't get much sleep[br]last night.

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We are leaving you in charge.

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I didn't do it[br]to spite you, I promise.

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Good, you won't feel[br]so tired, then.

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Fawlty Towers.

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- Basil.[br]- Who is it?

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It's Mr. O'Reilly.

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That's odd.[br]It must be about the garden wall.

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Hello, O'Reilly?

0:04:32.480,0:04:33.920
When are you coming[br]to finish our garden wall?

0:04:34.160,0:04:36.280
We are tired[br]of having that pile of bricks blocking...

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I told you not to call.

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My wife thinks Stubbs[br]is doing the doors.

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What time will they[br]be here, then?

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All right, 4:00.[br]If there are any problems

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tell your men to get Polly[br]to call me.

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Do you understand?

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Next week's[br]definite, is it?

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That would be nice,[br]won't it?

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We've waited[br]for that wall about as long as Hadrian.

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No, Hadrian.[br]The Emperor Hadrian.

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It doesn't matter.[br]I'll explain next week.

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Thank you so much.[br]Goodbye.

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You don't really[br]believe all that?

0:05:03.040,0:05:04.160
We've been waiting[br]four months.

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Why should he[br]do it now?

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- I think he will this time.[br]- If you had used Stubbs...

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- We'd have had a huge bill.[br]- You get what you pay for.

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O'Reilly's a cut-price,[br]cock-up artist.

0:05:12.440,0:05:14.760
- Oh, Sybil.[br]- With Stubbs you may pay a little more...

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A "little more"?

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Yes, but he does[br]a really professional job

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and he does it[br]when he says he will.

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You'll see.

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When's he coming?

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About 4:00, I think.

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You're going to wear[br]that jacket?

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Yes, I am,[br]thank you, dear.

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You just haven't[br]a clue, have you?

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You wouldn't understand.[br]It's called style.

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Yoo-hoo![br]They're here.

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How fabulous.

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Do try to be agreeable[br]this weekend.

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Have I got[br]everything?

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Handbag, knuckle dusters,[br]flick knife.

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Come on, Basil,[br]don't hang about.

0:05:48.800,0:05:50.120
I'm just coming, dear.

0:05:50.360,0:05:53.520
Quick, Polly.

0:05:53.600,0:05:55.680
The men will be here at 4:00.[br]You know what they're doing?

0:05:55.920,0:05:57.000
They're putting the door[br]through to the kitchen.

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At the bottom[br]of the stairs, and...?

0:05:58.720,0:06:00.840
- And?[br]- And blocking the drawing room door.

0:06:01.080,0:06:03.080
- Blocking it?[br]- So we can have privacy

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away from the plebs.[br]Don't you take anything in?

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Where's my cap?[br]One other thing,

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when the men come,[br]they won't be Stubbs',

0:06:08.720,0:06:09.800
they'll be O'Reilly's.[br]Where is it?

0:06:10.040,0:06:11.040
- What? O'Reilly?[br]- Yes!

0:06:11.280,0:06:12.960
Does Mrs. Fawlty know?

0:06:13.200,0:06:15.960
I wouldn't mention it.[br]They don't quite hit off.

0:06:16.200,0:06:18.320
I had to change it![br]Stubbs has a virus, or something.

0:06:18.560,0:06:20.440
She said you were never[br]using him again. I don't...

0:06:20.680,0:06:22.400
He's sending his best man.[br]All you have to do

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is take a quick look[br]when they finish.

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Any problems, call me.[br]Have a nice weekend.

0:06:26.400,0:06:28.160
If she asks me,[br]I'll tell her.

0:06:28.400,0:06:29.680
Thank you so much.

0:06:29.920,0:06:34.280
I've always been[br]a great admirer of loyalty.

0:06:35.280,0:06:36.480
I forget!

0:06:36.720,0:06:38.840
It doesn't matter, Manuel.[br]De nada.

0:06:39.080,0:06:41.760
Oh.

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Oh, is Mr. Fawlty.

0:06:48.560,0:06:49.800
- Shh.[br]- Shh.

0:06:50.040,0:06:53.520
Windows, por favor.

0:06:59.040,0:07:00.800
Oh, Polly, finish.[br]I tired.

0:07:01.040,0:07:02.680
That's wonderful.[br]Hold it a second.

0:07:02.920,0:07:03.800
Qué?

0:07:04.040,0:07:06.120
Quiero subir[br]para dormir.

0:07:06.360,0:07:08.440
No, speak me English.[br]Is good. I learn.

0:07:08.680,0:07:10.480
I want to go upstairs[br]in a moment.

0:07:10.720,0:07:12.720
Er... Qué?

0:07:12.960,0:07:14.640
I - Go-upstairs.

0:07:14.880,0:07:15.880
Ah, sí. Is easy.

0:07:16.120,0:07:18.160
- For a little sleep.[br]- Is difficult.

0:07:18.400,0:07:19.760
For siesta.

0:07:20.000,0:07:21.560
- Siesta? Little sleep?[br]- Yes.

0:07:21.800,0:07:23.600
Ah, same in Spanish.

0:07:23.840,0:07:26.080
When O'Reilly's men come,[br]you must wake me.

0:07:26.320,0:07:28.280
When orelly men[br]come... Sí.

0:07:28.520,0:07:30.280
Manuel, listen.[br]When men come here,

0:07:30.520,0:07:32.960
- Seňor O'Reilly...[br]- Ah, when men come...?

0:07:33.200,0:07:36.680
You come upstairs[br]and wake me up.

0:07:36.920,0:07:38.400
Despiérteme.

0:07:38.640,0:07:40.880
Sí. When men come,[br]subiré a tu cuarto a despertarte.

0:07:41.120,0:07:43.120
Antes que empiecen[br]a trabajar aquí.

0:07:43.360,0:07:44.720
- Sí?[br]- Comprendo.

0:07:44.960,0:07:48.520
- Finished.[br]- Eh? Oh.

0:07:53.040,0:07:56.520
Manuel!

0:07:59.600,0:08:01.280
Manuel Towers.[br]How are you?

0:08:01.520,0:08:03.560
Is nice today?[br]Good.

0:08:03.800,0:08:06.680
Goodbye.

0:08:10.200,0:08:15.000
Oh, good day.[br]Hello. How are you?

0:08:15.040,0:08:16.960
- Number 16.[br]- Sí, 16,

0:08:17.200,0:08:18.520
- But no eat.[br]- What?

0:08:18.760,0:08:20.720
16 is free,[br]but not possible...

0:08:20.960,0:08:22.400
Is this number 16?

0:08:22.640,0:08:25.840
No, no. This lobby.[br]16 upstairs, on right.

0:08:26.080,0:08:27.640
Who's in charge here?

0:08:27.880,0:08:30.400
No, charge later.[br]After sleep.

0:08:30.640,0:08:31.880
Where's the boss?

0:08:32.120,0:08:33.760
Boss is...

0:08:34.000,0:08:36.240
Oh... I boss.

0:08:36.480,0:08:37.880
No, no.[br]Where's the real boss?

0:08:38.120,0:08:38.920
Qué?

0:08:39.160,0:08:42.880
The generalissimo.

0:08:43.040,0:08:45.680
In Madrid.

0:08:45.920,0:08:48.040
Look, just sign this,[br]will you?

0:08:48.280,0:08:50.240
Sí, sí.

0:08:50.480,0:08:51.680
- 16.[br]- What?

0:08:51.920,0:08:54.880
- You want room 16?[br]- I don't want a room, mate.

0:08:55.120,0:08:57.200
I'm just[br]leaving him.

0:08:57.440,0:09:00.320
You want room 16[br]for him?

0:09:00.560,0:09:03.800
Yeah. With a bath,[br]you dago twit.

0:09:04.040,0:09:06.280
You mad.[br]You pay for room first.

0:09:06.520,0:09:08.800
He crazy. "For room 16."[br]No room 16.

0:09:09.040,0:09:12.520
No pay,[br]no room 16.

0:09:18.040,0:09:20.160
Fawlty Towers,[br]How are you? Nice day.

0:09:20.400,0:09:22.800
What?[br]No, no. He not here.

0:09:23.040,0:09:27.520
He not here.[br]Very sorry. Goodbye.

0:09:28.920,0:09:30.680
- Hello, men.[br]- Good day, now.

0:09:30.920,0:09:32.800
You are men.

0:09:33.040,0:09:33.840
What?

0:09:34.080,0:09:35.760
- You are men.[br]- Are you trying to be funny?

0:09:36.000,0:09:37.200
Huh?

0:09:37.440,0:09:39.320
- I said, you trying to be funny?[br]- Not here, spud.

0:09:39.560,0:09:41.040
- You are men with orelly.[br]- What?

0:09:41.280,0:09:42.800
- You orelly men.[br]- What does that mean?

0:09:43.040,0:09:44.760
- You orelly.[br]- You watch it!

0:09:45.000,0:09:46.600
- Where orelly?[br]- What's he going on about?

0:09:46.840,0:09:48.440
He means O'Reilly.

0:09:48.680,0:09:50.680
Oh...

0:09:50.920,0:09:55.400
That's right, yeah.[br]We are "orelly" men.

0:09:55.640,0:09:56.760
Thick as a plank.

0:09:57.000,0:10:01.080
Wait here, please.[br]I go, you wait.

0:10:02.280,0:10:06.240
You wait, too,[br]please.

0:10:13.760,0:10:16.920
Polly? Polly?

0:10:30.880,0:10:33.560
Hello, Fawlty Towers.[br]How are you? Is nice day.

0:10:33.800,0:10:35.480
You again.[br]I say, he not here.

0:10:35.720,0:10:37.800
He not here.[br]Very, very sorry. Goodbye.

0:10:38.040,0:10:40.480
Wicked.

0:10:40.720,0:10:42.720
You men know[br]what to do?

0:10:42.960,0:10:45.360
I think so.[br]This is the dining room.

0:10:45.600,0:10:46.800
You are certain[br]you know?

0:10:47.040,0:10:49.160
It looks straightforward.[br]We've got to block this off.

0:10:49.400,0:10:52.440
Yes, yes, yes!

0:10:52.680,0:10:53.800
Is you again?[br]Now, listen...

0:10:54.040,0:10:55.440
He not here.[br]How many times?

0:10:55.680,0:10:58.520
Where are your ears,[br]you great, big half-wit!

0:10:58.760,0:11:02.520
He no here![br]Listen!

0:11:03.040,0:11:06.520
Now you understand?[br]He...

0:11:08.040,0:11:10.120
Oh! Oh, Mr. Fawlty!

0:11:10.360,0:11:12.800
I very sorry.[br]Very sorry. Is you!

0:11:13.040,0:11:14.800
Yes, is me,[br]Mr. Fawlty.

0:11:15.040,0:11:17.800
Polly?[br]No, no, she very busy.

0:11:18.040,0:11:20.040
Men?[br]Yes, men are here.

0:11:20.280,0:11:22.480
Men are work...[br]you work, men.

0:11:22.720,0:11:23.880
Yes.

0:11:24.120,0:11:26.080
What? Ah, yes.

0:11:26.320,0:11:30.960
Please, which one[br]is man with beard?

0:11:31.880,0:11:35.800
Sí, sí. Hid... agh... ang...[br]Sí, comprendo.

0:11:36.040,0:11:37.840
Sí.[br]One moment, please.

0:11:38.080,0:11:40.280
You are...

0:11:40.520,0:11:43.440
a hideous[br]orang-utang.

0:11:43.680,0:11:44.800
Yeow!

0:11:45.040,0:11:49.400
...Manuel, thank you[br]very much.

0:12:12.520,0:12:15.960
Polly?

0:12:26.840,0:12:29.840
Polly?!

0:12:30.360,0:12:33.280
Polly?!

0:12:44.600,0:12:46.400
Polly!!

0:12:46.640,0:12:49.400
Manuel!

0:12:53.920,0:12:56.080
Polly, what have you done[br]with my hotel?

0:12:56.320,0:12:58.120
Polly, what have you done[br]to my hotel?

0:12:58.360,0:12:59.560
- What?[br]- Look.

0:12:59.800,0:13:01.280
Oh, it's nice.[br]I like it there...

0:13:01.520,0:13:02.920
Ouch![br]You're hurting me!

0:13:03.160,0:13:04.080
What have you done[br]with my dining room door?

0:13:04.320,0:13:05.720
- Where is it?[br]- I don't know.

0:13:05.960,0:13:07.480
Why don't you know?[br]I left you in charge!

0:13:07.720,0:13:09.000
- I fell asleep.[br]- You fell asleep?

0:13:09.240,0:13:10.160
It's not my fault!

0:13:10.400,0:13:11.920
You fell asleep,[br]and it's not your fault?

0:13:12.160,0:13:13.800
- He forgot to wake me.[br]- Who forgot to wake you?

0:13:14.040,0:13:16.320
- It is my fault.[br]- Manuel! I knew it!

0:13:16.560,0:13:18.080
- Manuel!![br]- Don't blame him!

0:13:18.320,0:13:20.120
- Why not?[br]- It's not really his fault.

0:13:20.360,0:13:22.880
Whose fault is it,[br]you cloth-eared bint,

0:13:23.120,0:13:24.840
Dennis Compton's?

0:13:25.080,0:13:27.520
Well, you hired[br]O'Reilly, didn't you?

0:13:27.760,0:13:29.520
We warned you.[br]Who else would do this?

0:13:29.760,0:13:33.080
- I beg your pardon?[br]- You hired O'Reilly.

0:13:33.320,0:13:34.760
I see.[br]It's my fault?

0:13:35.000,0:13:36.640
Of course.

0:13:36.880,0:13:38.480
I was thinking[br]it was your fault

0:13:38.720,0:13:39.520
because you'd been[br]left in charge,

0:13:39.760,0:13:41.680
or Manuel's for not[br]waking you,

0:13:41.920,0:13:43.480
and all the time,[br]it was my fault.

0:13:43.720,0:13:46.240
It so obvious,[br]I've seen the light.

0:13:46.480,0:13:48.240
I must be punished,[br]mustn't I?

0:13:48.480,0:13:50.800
You're a naughty boy,[br]Fawlty.

0:13:51.040,0:13:53.720
Don't do it ag...[br]What am I gonna do?!

0:13:53.960,0:13:55.520
She's going to be back[br]at lunchtime!

0:13:55.760,0:13:56.520
Now, wait...

0:13:56.760,0:13:58.800
I'm a dead man![br]Do you realize?

0:13:59.040,0:14:01.160
You're dead, too![br]We're all dead!

0:14:01.400,0:14:02.680
Don't panic!

0:14:02.920,0:14:06.480
What else is there[br]to do?!

0:14:09.960,0:14:11.520
We'll call O'Reilly.

0:14:11.760,0:14:14.960
He made this mess,[br]he can clear it up.

0:14:15.200,0:14:17.680
Just pull yourself[br]together!

0:14:17.920,0:14:21.160
Come on!

0:14:23.040,0:14:24.800
Again!

0:14:25.040,0:14:27.920
Harder!

0:14:28.160,0:14:31.520
Right![br]I'll call O'Reilly.

0:14:32.560,0:14:34.640
What is this?[br]What is this doing here?

0:14:34.880,0:14:36.640
What is[br]going on here?!

0:14:36.880,0:14:38.000
Your wife ordered it.[br]Call O'Reilly.

0:14:38.240,0:14:42.200
That golfing puff adder?[br]What does she want...?

0:14:42.440,0:14:44.160
- Call O'Reilly![br]- What?

0:14:44.400,0:14:45.760
- Shall I call him?[br]- No, I'll do it.

0:14:46.000,0:14:50.520
I'll call him.[br]See if that roof is still on.

0:14:55.040,0:14:56.800
- What are you doing?[br]- Stay there.

0:14:57.040,0:14:58.840
- You can't do that now.[br]- Hold it, hold it.

0:14:59.080,0:15:04.040
See if they've started[br]breakfast... now!

0:15:05.560,0:15:07.600
Ah, hello, Mr. O'Reilly.

0:15:07.840,0:15:09.800
How are you this morning?

0:15:10.040,0:15:12.800
Oh, good. Good.[br]No rare diseases or anything?

0:15:13.040,0:15:15.240
I do beg your pardon.[br]Basil fawlty.

0:15:15.480,0:15:18.400
You remember?[br]The poor sod you do jobs for?

0:15:18.640,0:15:21.160
How are things[br]on your end?

0:15:21.400,0:15:23.000
Good.

0:15:23.240,0:15:25.080
Good, good, good.

0:15:25.320,0:15:28.880
How would you like[br]to hear about things my end?

0:15:29.120,0:15:31.360
Up to your usual standard,[br]I think I could say...

0:15:31.600,0:15:32.880
A few holes in the floor...

0:15:33.120,0:15:35.480
The odd door missing,[br]but nothing you can't be sued for.

0:15:35.720,0:15:38.840
- Good morning.[br]- I beg your pardon?

0:15:39.080,0:15:42.960
- Good morning.[br]- One moment, please.

0:15:44.040,0:15:44.840
Did you say,[br]"Good morning?"

0:15:45.080,0:15:47.920
- Sí.[br]- I see.

0:15:48.160,0:15:49.400
What are you going[br]to do now?

0:15:49.640,0:15:50.400
Qué?

0:15:50.640,0:15:52.080
What... you...[br]do... now?

0:15:52.320,0:15:53.640
I serve breakfast.

0:15:53.880,0:15:55.040
Let's see you, then.

0:15:55.280,0:15:58.520
Sí.

0:16:00.360,0:16:02.920
- Where is door?[br]- A-ha.

0:16:03.160,0:16:05.240
Door is gone.

0:16:05.480,0:16:06.720
Door was here!

0:16:06.960,0:16:10.720
Where? Here?[br]Or here? Or here?

0:16:10.960,0:16:12.600
- Morning, Fawlty.[br]- Morning, Major.

0:16:12.840,0:16:13.800
I'm so sorry,[br]but I'm afraid

0:16:14.040,0:16:16.520
the dining room door[br]seems to have disappeared.

0:16:16.760,0:16:19.800
Oh, yes, so it has.[br]It used to be there.

0:16:20.040,0:16:22.560
I was silly enough[br]to leave the hotel for a few minutes...

0:16:22.800,0:16:24.640
These things happen,[br]you know?

0:16:24.880,0:16:27.200
I wonder where[br]it's got to.

0:16:27.440,0:16:29.600
Don't worry,[br]it's bound to turn up.

0:16:29.840,0:16:31.560
Have the newspapers[br]arrived yet?

0:16:31.800,0:16:34.120
Not yet, Major.[br]Manuel, would you please show the Major

0:16:34.360,0:16:35.840
how to get into the dining room[br]via the kitchen?

0:16:36.080,0:16:37.120
Is difficult.

0:16:37.360,0:16:38.680
Major, will you please[br]show Manuel how to get

0:16:38.920,0:16:40.040
into the dining room[br]via the kitchen?

0:16:40.280,0:16:44.320
Yes, of course.[br]Come here. Come on.

0:16:45.200,0:16:47.200
Now, look here, O'Reilly,[br]I want my dining room door

0:16:47.440,0:16:49.200
put back and this other one[br]taken away by 1:00,

0:16:49.440,0:16:50.760
do you understand?

0:16:51.000,0:16:52.400
No, I don't want[br]to debate about it.

0:16:52.640,0:16:54.160
If you're not over here[br]in 20 minutes with my door,

0:16:54.400,0:16:55.400
I shall come over there[br]and insert

0:16:55.640,0:16:58.920
a large garden gnome in you.[br]Good day.

0:17:00.600,0:17:03.800
I'm sorry, but my men[br]won't work on Sunday.

0:17:04.040,0:17:05.360
That's the way it is.

0:17:05.600,0:17:06.800
There's nothing[br]I can do about it.

0:17:07.040,0:17:07.920
How long is it[br]going to take you?

0:17:08.160,0:17:09.520
I'm working as fast[br]as I can.

0:17:09.760,0:17:12.160
It had better be fast enough.[br]She's here in four hours.

0:17:12.400,0:17:14.320
- Tea up.[br]- What?

0:17:14.560,0:17:15.800
I brewed a cup for him.

0:17:16.040,0:17:17.360
He hasn't got time[br]to drink that now.

0:17:17.600,0:17:18.400
- Biscuits?[br]- These look good.

0:17:18.640,0:17:19.640
Give them to me.[br]Will you get on with it?

0:17:19.880,0:17:22.360
Look, this lot here...[br]an hour and a half.

0:17:22.600,0:17:24.920
This one easy...[br]lick of paint, lick of paint,

0:17:25.160,0:17:27.080
lick of paint, one hour.

0:17:27.320,0:17:28.440
- What time is it now?[br]- Ten to 9:00.

0:17:28.680,0:17:31.280
All right, 10 to 9:00[br]and two and a half hours is

0:17:31.520,0:17:32.720
plenty of time.[br]Give us a biscuit.

0:17:32.960,0:17:34.280
Not until you've done the door.[br]Polly, take them away.

0:17:34.520,0:17:36.800
You can have that when[br]you've finished the door, too.

0:17:37.040,0:17:39.240
The trouble with you,[br]is that you worry too much.

0:17:39.480,0:17:42.560
Keep it up like this,[br]you'll have a stroke before you're 50.

0:17:42.800,0:17:44.800
- Stone dead you'll be.[br]- Suits me.

0:17:45.040,0:17:46.520
That's a dreadful[br]thing to say.

0:17:46.760,0:17:47.960
Not at all.[br]I'll get a bit of peace.

0:17:48.200,0:17:50.800
Don't be so morbid.[br]The good Lord made the world

0:17:51.040,0:17:52.160
so we could all[br]enjoy ourselves.

0:17:52.400,0:17:55.200
My wife enjoys herself,[br]I worry.

0:17:55.440,0:17:57.880
If the good Lord[br]meant us to worry

0:17:58.120,0:17:59.800
he would have given us[br]things to worry about.

0:18:00.040,0:18:02.000
He has![br]My wife!

0:18:02.240,0:18:04.000
She will be back here[br]in four hours,

0:18:04.240,0:18:05.840
and she can kill a man[br]at 10 paces

0:18:06.080,0:18:07.800
with one blow of her tongue.

0:18:08.040,0:18:09.800
How am I supposed[br]not to worry?

0:18:10.040,0:18:11.560
Just remember,

0:18:11.800,0:18:13.760
there's always someone[br]worse off than yourself.

0:18:14.000,0:18:15.920
I'd like to meet him.[br]I could do with a laugh.

0:18:16.160,0:18:17.920
You'll just have to worry[br]for the both of us.

0:18:18.160,0:18:19.440
I'm telling you,[br]if the good Lord...

0:18:19.680,0:18:20.560
Is mentioned once more,

0:18:20.800,0:18:22.080
I shall move you[br]closer to him.

0:18:22.320,0:18:23.520
Now, please!

0:18:23.760,0:18:25.720
Mr. Fawlty, she's here.

0:18:25.960,0:18:26.920
- What?[br]- She's here.

0:18:27.160,0:18:30.520
Oh, God.

0:18:39.040,0:18:40.360
Quick! Hide! Hide!

0:18:40.600,0:18:41.800
I'll try to get rid of her.[br]Hide!

0:18:42.040,0:18:43.320
- Where?[br]- In there.

0:18:43.560,0:18:46.600
I'll try and stall her.[br]God help me.

0:18:46.840,0:18:49.840
- Hello, Sybil.[br]- Hello, Basil.

0:18:50.080,0:18:51.640
You finished[br]your golf early.

0:18:51.880,0:18:53.080
We haven't started yet.

0:18:53.320,0:18:55.160
- Where are you going?[br]- Up these steps.

0:18:55.400,0:18:56.680
Oh, don't.[br]It's such a lovely day.

0:18:56.920,0:18:58.800
Let's go for a walk.[br]We haven't done that for years.

0:18:59.040,0:19:00.840
I nearly forgot.[br]You're not going to believe this.

0:19:01.080,0:19:02.800
Let me show you.

0:19:03.040,0:19:06.280
There.[br]Look at that.

0:19:06.520,0:19:09.600
That's Stubbs for you.

0:19:09.840,0:19:11.000
Mind you, I warned you,

0:19:11.240,0:19:15.040
but still, a reputable builder like that.[br]Tsk, tsk, tsk.

0:19:15.280,0:19:17.960
Stubbs?

0:19:18.200,0:19:20.800
Wicked. Pfft.

0:19:21.040,0:19:23.400
- Where's O'Reilly?[br]- Criminal.

0:19:23.640,0:19:27.560
Tsk. Pfff.

0:19:27.720,0:19:28.800
Hmm?

0:19:29.040,0:19:30.000
Where's O'Reilly?

0:19:30.240,0:19:33.360
- O'Reilly?[br]- Yes, O'Reilly.

0:19:33.600,0:19:36.800
Sybil, you never cease[br]to amaze me.

0:19:37.040,0:19:39.360
Just because of this,[br]you automatically assume

0:19:39.600,0:19:40.800
it has to be O'Reilly.[br]Right

0:19:41.040,0:19:43.360
You just assume that[br]I have been lying all along.

0:19:43.600,0:19:45.680
Right?[br]I mean, why O'Reilly?

0:19:45.920,0:19:47.800
Because his van's outside.

0:19:48.040,0:19:50.360
Well, he's here now.[br]Of course he's here now.

0:19:50.600,0:19:52.680
He's here to clear up[br]this mess your Stubbs has made!

0:19:52.920,0:19:55.080
That's why[br]his van's outside!

0:19:55.320,0:19:56.920
On a Sunday.[br]That's what I call service.

0:19:57.160,0:19:58.920
- I agree.[br]- You do?

0:19:59.160,0:20:00.960
Yes, but if Stubbs[br]has made this mess

0:20:01.200,0:20:03.000
then I think[br]they should come and clear it up.

0:20:03.240,0:20:05.160
But there's no point[br]now that O'Reilly's here.

0:20:05.400,0:20:06.640
We want it done[br]straightaway.

0:20:06.880,0:20:08.400
There's no point[br]in paying O'Reilly

0:20:08.640,0:20:10.640
when Stubbs would[br]have to do it for free.

0:20:10.880,0:20:12.160
- I'll call him now.[br]- He won't be there on Sunday.

0:20:12.400,0:20:13.760
Then I'll call him at home.

0:20:14.000,0:20:15.360
Ooh! Ah-hh!

0:20:15.600,0:20:18.920
Getting a bit of gyp[br]from the ol' leg this morning.

0:20:19.160,0:20:20.120
Not to worry.

0:20:20.360,0:20:22.520
I've called him at home,[br]and he's not there.

0:20:22.760,0:20:24.040
When did you[br]call him?

0:20:24.280,0:20:25.360
First thing.[br]Before I called O'Reilly.

0:20:25.600,0:20:27.000
Wasn't that early[br]for a Sunday?

0:20:27.240,0:20:28.680
I called him just[br]before you arrived.

0:20:28.920,0:20:32.120
There's nobody there.

0:20:32.640,0:20:34.800
Yes, hello.[br]Fawlty Towers. Yes?

0:20:35.040,0:20:37.360
Who?

0:20:37.600,0:20:40.480
I think you'd better[br]have a word with my wife.

0:20:40.720,0:20:42.840
It's somebody from Mr. Stubbs, dear.

0:20:43.080,0:20:45.600
Hello, Sybil Fawlty.

0:20:45.840,0:20:48.360
Well, it is[br]a complete mess.

0:20:48.600,0:20:51.120
Could you come[br]straight round and put it right?

0:20:51.360,0:20:53.800
Would you like[br]to deal with this, Basil?

0:20:54.040,0:20:55.960
...you see, we couldn't[br]possibly manage it

0:20:56.200,0:20:57.720
for at least[br]three weeks.

0:20:57.960,0:20:59.000
But if you want it[br]done straightaway,

0:20:59.240,0:21:01.600
I suggest you try[br]someone like...

0:21:01.840,0:21:04.440
Oh, what's his name?[br]It's... uh...

0:21:04.680,0:21:05.800
O'Reilly?

0:21:06.040,0:21:07.800
Bravo, Polly. Well done.

0:21:08.040,0:21:09.200
Listen, where are[br]you speaking from?

0:21:09.440,0:21:12.000
She's in here[br]with me, Basil.

0:21:12.240,0:21:15.440
- It's partly my fault.[br]- No, it isn't.

0:21:15.680,0:21:17.080
Is somebody there[br]trying to pretend

0:21:17.320,0:21:19.720
they're from Mr. Stubbs' company?[br]What game are you playing?

0:21:19.960,0:21:21.200
I mean, really![br]Really!

0:21:21.440,0:21:22.800
Would you believe what[br]some people will do?

0:21:23.040,0:21:25.800
I'm going to make you[br]regret this for the rest of your life.

0:21:26.040,0:21:28.600
Fair enough, but Stubbs[br]is partly to blame...

0:21:28.840,0:21:30.080
- Basil![br]- Yes, dear?

0:21:30.320,0:21:34.320
Don't you dare give me any more[br]of those pathetic lies.

0:21:34.560,0:21:35.640
Oh, right.

0:21:35.880,0:21:38.760
What do you take me for?[br]Did you really think

0:21:39.000,0:21:40.240
that I would believe[br]this shambles

0:21:40.480,0:21:41.800
is the work[br]of professional builders?

0:21:42.040,0:21:43.480
People who do it[br]for a living?

0:21:43.720,0:21:45.000
No, not really.

0:21:45.240,0:21:46.480
Why did I trust you?

0:21:46.720,0:21:48.480
Why did I let you make[br]the arrangements?

0:21:48.720,0:21:50.920
I could have seen what was going to happen.[br]Why did I do it?

0:21:51.160,0:21:53.080
We all make mistakes, dear.

0:21:53.320,0:21:55.880
I'm sick to death of you.[br]You never learn, do you?

0:21:56.120,0:21:58.320
You never, ever, learn.

0:21:58.560,0:22:00.920
We have used O'Reilly[br]three times in the last year

0:22:01.160,0:22:02.520
and each time[br]it has been a fiasco!

0:22:02.760,0:22:04.920
That wall out there[br]is still not done!

0:22:05.160,0:22:06.600
You got him in to[br]change a washer in november

0:22:06.840,0:22:08.280
and we didn't have any running water[br]for two weeks!

0:22:08.520,0:22:10.040
He's not really[br]a plumber.

0:22:10.280,0:22:11.760
Then why did you[br]hire him?

0:22:12.000,0:22:14.480
- Because he's cheap.[br]- I wouldn't call him cheap.

0:22:14.720,0:22:16.240
What would you[br]call him, then?

0:22:16.480,0:22:17.800
Well, cheapish.

0:22:18.040,0:22:20.960
The reason he's cheapish[br]is he's no bloody good!

0:22:21.200,0:22:23.520
Oh, you do exaggerate.[br]He's not brilliant.

0:22:23.760,0:22:25.520
Not brilliant?[br]He belongs in a zoo!

0:22:25.760,0:22:28.160
You never give anyone[br]the benefit of the doubt.

0:22:28.400,0:22:29.640
He's shoddy,[br]he doesn't care,

0:22:29.880,0:22:31.720
he's a liar, he's incompetent,[br]he's lazy,

0:22:31.960,0:22:34.200
he's nothing but a half-witted,[br]thick, irish joke!

0:22:34.440,0:22:36.800
Hello, O'Reilly.[br]We were just talking about you.

0:22:37.040,0:22:39.120
Then we got on to another Irish builder[br]we used to know.

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God, he was awful!

0:22:41.880,0:22:43.480
I was talking about you,[br]Mr. O'Reilly.

0:22:43.720,0:22:46.040
Were you, dear?[br]I thought...

0:22:46.280,0:22:48.120
Come, come,[br]Mrs. Fawlty...

0:22:48.360,0:22:49.560
I'm coming.

0:22:49.800,0:22:51.080
Dear me,[br]what have I done now?

0:22:51.320,0:22:52.320
That and that.

0:22:52.560,0:22:54.160
Not to worry.[br]I'm putting it right.

0:22:54.400,0:22:55.440
Not to worry?

0:22:55.680,0:22:59.680
You've heard of the genie[br]of the lamp? That's me.

0:22:59.920,0:23:02.480
You think I'm joking,[br]don't you?

0:23:02.720,0:23:05.160
Oh, don't smile.

0:23:05.400,0:23:06.800
Why are you smiling,[br]Mr. O'Reilly?

0:23:07.040,0:23:11.000
To be perfectly honest,[br]I like a woman with spirit.

0:23:11.240,0:23:13.160
Oh, do you?[br]Is that what you like?

0:23:13.400,0:23:14.560
I do. I do.

0:23:14.800,0:23:17.080
Oh, good.

0:23:17.320,0:23:19.920
Now, Sybil,[br]that's enough.

0:23:20.160,0:23:23.400
Come on, then.[br]Give us a smile.

0:23:24.880,0:23:27.160
I have seen more[br]intelligent creatures

0:23:27.400,0:23:28.880
lying on their backs[br]at the bottom of ponds.

0:23:29.120,0:23:31.120
I've seen better organized[br]creatures than you

0:23:31.360,0:23:33.480
running around farmyards[br]with their heads cut off.

0:23:33.720,0:23:36.480
Now collect your things,[br]and get out.

0:23:36.720,0:23:38.480
I never want to see you[br]or any of your men

0:23:38.720,0:23:40.920
in my hotel again.

0:23:41.160,0:23:43.040
If you'll excuse me,[br]I have to speak

0:23:43.280,0:23:44.480
to a professional builder.

0:23:44.720,0:23:47.720
Hello, Mr. Stubbs?[br]It's Sybil Fawlty here.

0:23:47.960,0:23:49.760
I'm sorry to disturb you[br]on a Sunday morning.

0:23:50.000,0:23:51.360
We have a slight problem[br]with a couple of doors

0:23:51.600,0:23:52.800
we'd like you to take care of.

0:23:53.040,0:23:56.320
When do you think you could[br]come take a look at them?

0:23:56.560,0:23:59.200
Tomorrow morning at 9:00?[br]That would be fine.

0:23:59.440,0:24:01.080
See you then.[br]Thank you very much.

0:24:01.320,0:24:03.840
Goodbye.

0:24:04.040,0:24:05.520
I think I shall[br]go over to Audrey's now.

0:24:05.760,0:24:08.440
I shan't be back[br]till the morning.

0:24:08.680,0:24:09.920
- Oh, Basil.[br]- Yes, dear?

0:24:10.160,0:24:11.360
What is that doing here?

0:24:11.600,0:24:13.040
Your garden gnome.[br]Isn't it nice?

0:24:13.280,0:24:15.480
Don't you think it would[br]be better in the garden?

0:24:15.720,0:24:17.000
Yes, dear.[br]Good idea.

0:24:17.240,0:24:18.760
Oh, no, no, Basil.[br]Put him back.

0:24:19.000,0:24:21.040
On second thought,[br]I'll leave him in charge.

0:24:21.280,0:24:25.400
I'm sure he's cheap and he'll certainly[br]be better at it than you.

0:24:26.040,0:24:28.280
Have a nice day, dear.

0:24:28.520,0:24:31.480
Don't drive over[br]any mines or anything.

0:24:31.720,0:24:32.480
Toxic midget.

0:24:32.720,0:24:34.800
Where are you going?

0:24:35.040,0:24:37.480
Please take your tools back[br]and continue.

0:24:37.720,0:24:39.800
In view of what[br]Mrs. Fawlty was saying...

0:24:40.040,0:24:40.960
You're not going[br]to take that seriously?

0:24:41.200,0:24:42.480
I thought I might.

0:24:42.720,0:24:45.080
What sort of a man[br]are you?

0:24:45.320,0:24:46.960
Are you going to let her[br]speak to us like that?

0:24:47.200,0:24:48.240
- She did![br]- No, she didn't.

0:24:48.480,0:24:50.000
She thinks she did,[br]but we'll show her.

0:24:50.240,0:24:52.280
We're not going to just put that door[br]back and take that one out.

0:24:52.520,0:24:55.200
We'll close that one off[br]and put that one through as well.

0:24:55.440,0:25:00.040
We're going to do the best day's work[br]you've ever done.

0:25:03.560,0:25:05.040
Manuel, any sign?

0:25:05.280,0:25:07.240
No, no.

0:25:07.480,0:25:09.800
- Morning, Fawlty.[br]- Morning, Major.

0:25:10.040,0:25:10.960
- The papers are here.[br]- Ah, good.

0:25:11.200,0:25:11.960
Notice anything new,[br]Major?

0:25:12.200,0:25:14.080
Another car strike.

0:25:14.320,0:25:15.360
Oh, my.

0:25:15.600,0:25:17.920
- Morning, Major.[br]- Oh, good morning...

0:25:18.160,0:25:21.480
- Never mind.[br]- Oh, right.

0:25:21.720,0:25:24.200
Ah! You've found it.[br]I knew you would.

0:25:24.440,0:25:26.440
He lost it, you know.

0:25:26.680,0:25:28.240
Mr. Fawlty,[br]she come now!

0:25:28.480,0:25:31.160
Quick!

0:25:49.680,0:25:53.000
Morning, dear.

0:25:57.520,0:25:59.320
Did you have[br]a pleasant evening?

0:25:59.560,0:26:00.640
Oh, good.[br]Ah, Mr. Stubbs.

0:26:00.880,0:26:02.800
- My wife's just there.[br]- Thank you.

0:26:03.040,0:26:03.800
Good morning,[br]Mrs. Fawlty.

0:26:04.040,0:26:06.240
Mr. Stubbs.[br]This is most awkward.

0:26:06.480,0:26:10.000
I'm afraid[br]I have to apologize.

0:26:11.440,0:26:13.800
My husband has put me[br]in an embarrassing situation...

0:26:14.040,0:26:15.640
Once again.

0:26:15.880,0:26:17.560
I was going to ask you[br]to do some work here.

0:26:17.800,0:26:18.800
Yes?

0:26:19.040,0:26:21.040
But I was away,[br]and when I came back,

0:26:21.280,0:26:22.520
it appears[br]to have been done.

0:26:22.760,0:26:24.320
- Everything all right?[br]- Oh, I see.

0:26:24.560,0:26:27.440
It'll probably fall down[br]by lunchtime.

0:26:27.680,0:26:29.280
Do you think so?[br]Let's ask a real expert.

0:26:29.520,0:26:31.360
Do you think it'll fall down[br]by lunch, Mr. Stubbs?

0:26:31.600,0:26:33.000
No, no.

0:26:33.240,0:26:34.800
Mr. Stubbs wouldn't agree[br]with you on that one.

0:26:35.040,0:26:36.440
- It's a very good job.[br]- Did you hear that, dear?

0:26:36.680,0:26:38.800
- A very good job.[br]- Hmm?

0:26:39.040,0:26:40.120
None of us likes[br]being wrong.

0:26:40.360,0:26:42.440
I certainly don't.[br]We knocked through this door,

0:26:42.680,0:26:44.800
and we closed[br]this one off.

0:26:45.040,0:26:46.480
What did you use?[br]An Rsj?

0:26:46.720,0:26:48.800
No, four by two.[br]Not bad, eh, dear?

0:26:49.040,0:26:50.720
And not expensive.

0:26:50.960,0:26:53.320
I mean, for the Lintel.[br]Did you use an Rsj?

0:26:53.560,0:26:54.840
You know,[br]and iron girder?

0:26:55.080,0:26:56.320
Or did you use[br]a concrete lintel?

0:26:56.560,0:26:57.800
No, a wooden one.

0:26:58.040,0:27:00.400
But that's a supporting wall.

0:27:00.640,0:27:01.720
What?

0:27:01.960,0:27:05.600
Thanks very much[br]for coming over this morning...

0:27:05.840,0:27:08.120
Just a minute.[br]That isn't strong enough?

0:27:08.360,0:27:09.640
That's a supporting wall,[br]Mrs. Fawlty.

0:27:09.880,0:27:11.520
It could give way[br]at any moment.

0:27:11.760,0:27:12.640
Any moment?

0:27:12.880,0:27:14.520
God help[br]the floors above.

0:27:14.760,0:27:16.360
Keep this door shut[br]until I can get a screwjack

0:27:16.600,0:27:18.280
to prop it up[br]before the lot comes down.

0:27:18.520,0:27:19.800
Cowboys.

0:27:20.040,0:27:22.640
Basil?

0:27:23.200,0:27:26.360
Basil?! Basil!

0:27:26.520,0:27:27.680
Where are you[br]going?

0:27:27.920,0:27:29.800
I'm going to see[br]Mr. O'Reilly, dear.

0:27:30.040,0:27:33.280
Then I think[br]I might go to Canada.