0:00:10.200,0:00:11.263
Cool!

0:00:12.873,0:00:15.486
Hi, my name is Stephen Tonti,

0:00:15.486,0:00:20.314
and I'm a director, a writer, an actor,

0:00:20.314,0:00:23.494
a drummer, a scuba diver, a soccer player,

0:00:23.494,0:00:28.439
a camera operator, an airbrush artist,[br]a physicist, a stargazer, a rock climber,

0:00:28.439,0:00:31.474
a snowboarder, a model maker,[br]a stage manager, a camp counselor,

0:00:31.474,0:00:34.035
a PA, a DJ, a club president, a magician,

0:00:34.035,0:00:36.235
and for a brief stint in May 2012,

0:00:36.235,0:00:40.389
I was called upon to repair[br]two stopwatches which had stopped working.

0:00:40.389,0:00:41.952
(Laughter)

0:00:41.952,0:00:43.900
Who am I, you ask?

0:00:43.900,0:00:47.106
My name is Stephen Tonti, and I have ADHD.

0:00:47.106,0:00:48.366
(Laughter)

0:00:48.366,0:00:52.538
ADHD stands for attention[br]deficit hyperactive disorder,

0:00:52.538,0:00:54.928
and I was first diagnosed with ADHD[br]

0:00:54.928,0:00:59.261
not by a diagnostician,[br]or a private practice, or a pediatrician,

0:00:59.261,0:01:00.828
but by a second-grade teacher

0:01:00.828,0:01:04.080
who was interviewing me for a spot[br]at the school she was working at.

0:01:04.080,0:01:05.497
My family had just moved

0:01:05.497,0:01:07.837
from New Orleans, Louisiana,[br]to Dallas, Texas,

0:01:07.837,0:01:10.571
and I was in a search[br]for a new academic home.

0:01:10.571,0:01:12.154
During this particular interview,

0:01:12.154,0:01:15.507
this particular teacher[br]received a message ahead of time

0:01:15.507,0:01:17.935
from my first grade teacher[br]back in New Orleans

0:01:17.935,0:01:21.311
to check me for any signs of ADHD.

0:01:21.311,0:01:23.648
Just as she reached[br]the series of questions

0:01:23.648,0:01:28.783
devised to evaluate whether a child[br]between the ages of five and 17 is ADHD:

0:01:28.783,0:01:31.398
Wham! I fell out of my chair.

0:01:31.398,0:01:32.873
(Laughter)

0:01:32.873,0:01:34.691
No, I didn't slip.

0:01:34.691,0:01:36.854
And no, the chair didn't[br]crumble beneath me.

0:01:36.854,0:01:40.696
Behind the teacher's desk[br]was this giant window,

0:01:40.696,0:01:44.001
and through that window was a giant field,

0:01:44.001,0:01:45.473
and on that field

0:01:45.473,0:01:51.027
were what appeared to me at the time[br]to be hundreds of thousands of kids

0:01:51.027,0:01:52.037
my age.

0:01:52.037,0:01:58.236
They were all playing with a great,[br]inflatable, rainbow beach ball,

0:01:58.236,0:02:01.962
and as they moved all around the field,[br]all I could do was keep track of them.

0:02:01.962,0:02:05.629
So I leaned a little bit to the left,[br]and I leaned a little bit to the right,

0:02:05.629,0:02:09.072
a little bit more to the left,[br]a little bit more to the right

0:02:09.072,0:02:11.111
before the disaster.

0:02:11.111,0:02:14.135
I still maintain today[br]that window was a trap, and I was setup.

0:02:14.135,0:02:15.325
(Laughter)

0:02:15.325,0:02:17.741
So I was rejected from Middle School

0:02:17.741,0:02:21.619
because I was an eight-year-old boy[br]who couldn't sit still in his chair.

0:02:21.619,0:02:24.003
There was this complex[br]marshmallow-related incident

0:02:24.003,0:02:26.795
between myself and some[br]of the staff there, but anyway.

0:02:26.795,0:02:29.572
I ended up at the[br]Episcopal School of Dallas.

0:02:29.572,0:02:31.813
Over the next 11 years,[br]I tried everything.

0:02:31.813,0:02:34.199
When I say everything, I mean everything.

0:02:34.199,0:02:37.694
Extracurriculars: I tried computing,[br]robotics, carpentry, canoeing,

0:02:37.694,0:02:41.896
rock climbing, poetry club, logic club,[br]poker club, comedy club, and camping.

0:02:41.896,0:02:44.762
I went camping at least[br]twice a year for four years.

0:02:44.762,0:02:46.352
And the band - oh my god.

0:02:46.352,0:02:50.468
I tried trumpet, saxophone, electric bass,[br]piano, stand-up bass, guitar, acoustic -

0:02:50.468,0:02:52.013
Did I mention I played sports?

0:02:52.013,0:02:55.112
It was Texas. We played sports.[br]I tried all of them.

0:02:55.112,0:02:56.383
And the drums.

0:02:56.383,0:02:59.361
I even took a short-lived[br]stab at the heart.

0:02:59.361,0:03:03.265
I played seven different instruments -[br]"played" being a very generous term.

0:03:03.265,0:03:04.346
(Laughter)

0:03:04.346,0:03:07.374
When all of a sudden my theater -[br]my school built a theater -

0:03:07.374,0:03:09.230
and I thought, why not?

0:03:09.230,0:03:12.780
So I started the shop building sets,[br]then the sound booth, the light booth.

0:03:12.780,0:03:16.206
Then my teacher asked me to act,[br]so I played Conrad in "Ordinary People."

0:03:16.206,0:03:18.568
I said, "Can I direct?"[br]and she said, "Go for it!"

0:03:18.568,0:03:20.162
So I directed "12 Angry Jurors" -

0:03:20.162,0:03:23.640
because this is high school, people,[br]and you can't direct "12 Angry Men"

0:03:23.640,0:03:27.013
with a drama school[br]that has three boys and four girls -

0:03:27.013,0:03:28.803
for the people doing math at home,

0:03:28.803,0:03:31.528
that's seven drama students[br]for a show with 12 in it.

0:03:31.528,0:03:32.505
(Laughter)

0:03:32.505,0:03:33.620
Before I knew it,

0:03:33.620,0:03:36.986
I was auditioning and interviewing[br]in drama schools across the country,

0:03:36.986,0:03:39.136
and that's when Carnegie Mellon found me.

0:03:39.136,0:03:41.565
And I love it here. I really do.

0:03:41.565,0:03:43.487
But moving on. So what?!

0:03:43.487,0:03:49.204
I have ADHD, and ADHD[br]is misunderstood as an inability to focus,

0:03:49.204,0:03:50.842
but it's much stranger than that.

0:03:50.842,0:03:53.227
It's not a lack of focus - period.

0:03:53.227,0:03:54.602
It's that I have a hard time

0:03:54.602,0:03:57.165
selecting something[br]and giving it my full attention.

0:03:57.165,0:03:59.072
Something has to grab my attention,

0:03:59.072,0:04:01.975
peak my curiosity,[br]and then I can hyperfocus.

0:04:01.975,0:04:03.937
This is a good thing and a bad thing.

0:04:03.937,0:04:04.952
It's a bad thing

0:04:04.952,0:04:08.444
because I have a hard time[br]completing things that don't excite me.

0:04:08.444,0:04:09.437
We live in a world

0:04:09.437,0:04:12.241
where you have to read[br]your textbooks and pay your taxes.

0:04:12.241,0:04:16.827
And yes, big textbooks[br]with no pictures frighten me.

0:04:16.827,0:04:20.236
And no one likes handling taxes -[br]actually, some of you might like that.

0:04:20.236,0:04:21.147
(Laughter)

0:04:21.147,0:04:22.487
But the upside is,

0:04:22.487,0:04:28.056
when something does peak my curiosity,[br]I become obsessed and I hyperfocus.

0:04:28.056,0:04:30.166
I spend a lot of time with film.

0:04:30.166,0:04:33.230
I can spend upwards of 12 hours in a row

0:04:33.230,0:04:35.728
editing clips, sometimes[br]until 6:30 in the morning.

0:04:35.728,0:04:37.844
In the theater,[br]when I have to put a show up,

0:04:37.844,0:04:43.821
I'll pull 15 hour days for weeks on end,[br]and I enjoy that; I love that.

0:04:44.861,0:04:48.218
I can read a 500-page novel that I love

0:04:48.218,0:04:52.337
much faster than a one-page article[br]that I don't care for.

0:04:52.337,0:04:55.291
It's easier for me to see the big picture.

0:04:55.291,0:04:57.898
As a director, I have to track 20 people

0:04:57.898,0:05:02.913
with very different jobs[br]from designers, to writers, to actors,

0:05:02.913,0:05:08.262
and I find handling that much easier[br]than finishing that one-page article,

0:05:08.262,0:05:09.697
which I'm still working on.

0:05:09.697,0:05:11.037
(Laughter)

0:05:11.037,0:05:12.251
David Neeleman,

0:05:12.251,0:05:16.824
the founder and CEO of JetBlue,[br]who is also ADHD by the way,

0:05:16.824,0:05:22.975
says, "I have a hard time[br]doing the mundane things in life.

0:05:22.975,0:05:26.126
I have an easier time planning[br]a 20-aircraft fleet

0:05:26.126,0:05:28.482
than I do paying my light bill."

0:05:30.112,0:05:31.319
Yeah.

0:05:32.699,0:05:35.456
So, another good thing about ADHD

0:05:35.456,0:05:39.755
is because I felt[br]compelled to try everything,

0:05:39.755,0:05:43.641
I was able to explore all the possible[br]career paths I might not have

0:05:43.641,0:05:46.198
and might not have discovered[br]what I truly want to do.

0:05:46.198,0:05:49.498
So many teens and young adults

0:05:49.498,0:05:53.013
are expected to focus[br]on one or two fields of study

0:05:53.013,0:05:54.742
and one or two hobbies,

0:05:54.742,0:05:58.258
and hope and pray[br]they like the ones they've chosen

0:05:58.258,0:06:00.262
or that've been chosen for them.

0:06:00.262,0:06:02.739
My job is to tell other people stories,

0:06:02.739,0:06:04.704
and I find it's easier time doing that

0:06:04.704,0:06:07.770
when I can draw[br]from all of these other perspectives.

0:06:07.770,0:06:10.833
It's easier for me to see the world[br]through the eyes of a drummer

0:06:10.833,0:06:12.005
because I've tried that.

0:06:12.005,0:06:15.501
It's easier for me to see the world[br]through the eyes of a graphic designer

0:06:15.501,0:06:17.874
because I've tried that too.

0:06:17.874,0:06:23.056
ADHD is a difference in cognition,[br]not simply a disorder.

0:06:23.056,0:06:27.748
We're attention different,[br]not attention deficit.

0:06:27.748,0:06:31.178
But because it's treated[br]and misunderstood as a disorder,

0:06:31.178,0:06:34.073
it's treated at something[br]that needs fixing.

0:06:34.073,0:06:36.525
So the idea seems to be that:

0:06:36.525,0:06:40.001
we need to get rid of my ADHD,[br]but there's no getting rid of it.

0:06:40.001,0:06:41.850
There's just sedating it.

0:06:41.850,0:06:43.029
I was lucky.

0:06:43.029,0:06:45.548
My high school teachers[br]were hip, young progressives

0:06:45.548,0:06:48.929
who were delighted to give me extra time,[br]the additional attention,

0:06:48.929,0:06:53.668
and the overall freedom to express myself[br]the way that I felt necessary.

0:06:53.668,0:06:57.146
So many other kids with ADHD[br]aren't as lucky.

0:06:57.146,0:06:59.149
For example, my roommate.

0:06:59.149,0:07:02.149
Adam has been my roommate for four years.

0:07:02.149,0:07:05.964
He is an excellent actor in the school[br]of drama and a brilliant thinker.

0:07:05.964,0:07:10.020
We both grew up in Dallas, Texas,[br]and be both have ADHD.

0:07:10.020,0:07:12.446
Adam's high school was different.

0:07:12.446,0:07:15.427
Now even though he grew up[br]only 15 minutes north of me,

0:07:15.427,0:07:19.337
Adam's high school had harsher penalties[br]for falling out of a chair.

0:07:19.337,0:07:21.623
When you're a kid diagnosed with ADHD,

0:07:21.623,0:07:24.948
your doctor administers[br]a series of amphetamines,

0:07:24.948,0:07:26.315
and everybody waits.

0:07:26.315,0:07:29.113
Because no one has a clue[br]how you'll react.

0:07:29.113,0:07:31.301
You might get more calm.

0:07:31.301,0:07:33.239
You might become depressed.

0:07:33.239,0:07:35.699
You might lash out[br]at the people around you.

0:07:35.699,0:07:37.501
The difference between Adam and me

0:07:37.501,0:07:40.254
is when a new medication[br]may cause me to act out,

0:07:40.254,0:07:45.476
my teachers immediately advise my doctors[br]that I change my medication.

0:07:45.476,0:07:48.858
However, when Adam tried a new medication,

0:07:48.858,0:07:51.990
his teachers wrote this in his report,

0:07:52.830,0:07:59.431
"Adam is less motivated, less animated,[br]and less involved in class activities,

0:07:59.431,0:08:01.930
but at least, he's quiet now."

0:08:04.292,0:08:08.215
We need a healthier understanding[br]of people with ADHD,

0:08:08.215,0:08:09.365
and it starts at home.

0:08:09.365,0:08:13.810
I had mother and father[br]who supported every obsession.

0:08:13.810,0:08:16.800
I distinctly recall[br]my father asking one day,

0:08:16.800,0:08:19.393
"Son, you're only 14.

0:08:19.393,0:08:22.462
what could you possibly want[br]with an air compressor?"

0:08:22.462,0:08:23.519
(Laughter)

0:08:23.519,0:08:24.717
To which I responded,

0:08:24.717,0:08:28.738
"I want to airbrush t-shirts and shorts[br]to sell to my classmates and friends."

0:08:28.738,0:08:29.984
(Exhale)

0:08:29.984,0:08:30.984
Alright then.

0:08:30.984,0:08:33.509
And we would go out and get it.

0:08:33.509,0:08:36.545
I would play with it[br]and I'd obsess over it.

0:08:36.545,0:08:38.900
During the summers,[br]when I went off my medication

0:08:38.900,0:08:41.911
and my body was wrecked[br]with the effects of withdrawal,

0:08:41.911,0:08:47.441
my mother sat by my side,[br]literally coaxing the migraines out of me.

0:08:47.441,0:08:48.830
With their support,

0:08:48.830,0:08:53.331
I was able to explore,[br]and my obsessions grew and multiplied,

0:08:53.331,0:08:56.256
and I was able to maintain my sanity.

0:08:56.256,0:09:00.397
Schools need to develop a better attitude[br]towards students with ADHD, as well.

0:09:00.397,0:09:02.536
There's plenty of examples out there.

0:09:02.536,0:09:05.810
For instance, the Eagle Hill School,[br]in Hardwick, Massachusetts.

0:09:05.810,0:09:09.499
The Eagle Hill School believes[br]that every student can learn.

0:09:09.499,0:09:12.914
That learning differently[br]requires teaching differently.

0:09:12.914,0:09:15.700
And that we must educate[br]our kids, our students,

0:09:15.700,0:09:17.368
to learn about learning

0:09:17.368,0:09:22.042
in order to form new beliefs[br]in a search for intellectual autonomy.

0:09:22.961,0:09:28.558
Professors who act more as mentors,[br]as opposed to disciplinarians, inspire me.

0:09:28.558,0:09:31.705
When teachers level with me,[br]I feel like I'm more in control;

0:09:31.705,0:09:34.689
that there's a dialog[br]regarding new ways of thinking

0:09:34.689,0:09:37.991
and approaching a problem,[br]focusing, completing tasks.

0:09:39.551,0:09:45.818
We have to create and develop[br]a healthier relationship with medication.

0:09:45.818,0:09:48.145
I think that Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta

0:09:48.145,0:09:50.150
should only be prescribed to someone

0:09:50.150,0:09:54.495
who can physically handle the effects[br]of these drugs and their withdrawal.

0:09:54.495,0:09:59.939
12 is far too young.[br]16 is still too young.

0:09:59.939,0:10:02.758
There are so many[br]alternatives to medication.

0:10:02.758,0:10:04.587
Studies have shown that for some

0:10:04.587,0:10:08.444
it's just an added weight[br]or pressure to help them focus.

0:10:08.444,0:10:10.578
And these things exist.

0:10:10.578,0:10:13.636
There are weighted pads[br]that help people feel more comfortable

0:10:13.636,0:10:15.634
so they can complete tasks on time.

0:10:15.634,0:10:17.982
For some people,[br]it's tics, like chewing pencils,

0:10:17.982,0:10:20.772
so give them rubber coated pencils.

0:10:21.782,0:10:25.170
We have to teach kids to teach themselves;

0:10:25.170,0:10:28.267
it's the best thing[br]we can do for our kids.

0:10:28.267,0:10:34.249
And lastly, our society[br]has to embrace cognitive diversity.

0:10:35.189,0:10:38.438
For example, Specialisterne,[br]or The Specialist,

0:10:38.438,0:10:43.049
is a Danish organization[br]that trains people with autism and ADHD

0:10:43.049,0:10:48.684
as consultants in I.T. and other[br]more technically oriented tasked jobs.

0:10:49.584,0:10:52.106
We have to turn this joke around

0:10:52.106,0:10:56.079
on those who believe that my disorder[br]divides me from my more "normal peers."

0:10:56.079,0:10:59.455
Besides, who here at Carnegie Mellon[br]really qualifies as normal, anyway?

0:10:59.455,0:11:01.162
(Laughter)

0:11:01.162,0:11:03.983
(Applause) (Cheers)

0:11:06.623,0:11:13.138
A great author, a masterful playwright[br]and a sublime poet once writ ...

0:11:13.138,0:11:15.150
Any guesses to who I speak of?

0:11:15.150,0:11:16.562
(Audience) Shakespeare!

0:11:16.562,0:11:18.032
Thou art correct!

0:11:18.032,0:11:19.214
(Laughter)

0:11:19.214,0:11:21.543
Shakespeare sonnet 121.

0:11:23.786,0:11:28.728
'Tis better to be vile than vile esteemed

0:11:28.728,0:11:33.080
When not to be receives[br]reproach of being,

0:11:33.080,0:11:36.310
And the just pleasure lost,[br]which is so deemed

0:11:36.310,0:11:39.922
Not by our feeling but by others' seeing.

0:11:39.922,0:11:43.426
For why should others'[br]false adulterate eyes

0:11:43.426,0:11:45.837
Give salutation to my sportive blood?

0:11:45.837,0:11:50.737
Or on my frailties why are frailer spies,

0:11:50.737,0:11:53.542
Which in their wills[br]count bad what I think good?

0:11:53.542,0:11:57.137
Nae, I am that I am, and they that level

0:11:57.137,0:11:59.896
At my abuses reckon up their own:

0:11:59.896,0:12:03.189
I may be straight,[br]though they themselves be bevel;

0:12:03.189,0:12:07.198
By their rank thoughts[br]my deeds must not be shown;

0:12:07.198,0:12:12.480
Unless this general evil[br]they all maintain,

0:12:12.480,0:12:16.181
All men are bad,[br]and in their badness reign.

0:12:17.091,0:12:21.548
In sonnet 121 Shakespeare[br]condemns hypocrisy.

0:12:21.548,0:12:26.029
He implores us not to let[br]others' false adulterate eyes

0:12:26.029,0:12:29.983
condemn us for something[br]that they believe us to be.

0:12:29.983,0:12:33.568
He begs you not to let the selfish,[br]negative comments of others

0:12:33.578,0:12:37.319
hinder the just pleasures owed to you.

0:12:38.379,0:12:42.754
A hierarchy of frailer spies

0:12:42.754,0:12:46.624
have asked me to conform[br]to society's means.

0:12:46.624,0:12:48.676
I purpose the opposite.

0:12:48.676,0:12:52.104
I purpose let society conform to me.

0:12:52.104,0:12:54.675
And I implore you to do the same.

0:12:54.675,0:12:56.133
I'll leave you with something[br]

0:12:56.133,0:12:59.709
that Robin Williams, a poster child for us[br]in the ADHD community,

0:12:59.709,0:13:00.659
(Laughter)

0:13:00.659,0:13:07.498
once said, "We are all only given[br]a little spark of madness.

0:13:08.228,0:13:10.300
You mustn't lose it."

0:13:10.300,0:13:11.471
Thank you!

0:13:11.471,0:13:14.460
(Applause) (Cheers)